Eldar [00:00:00]:
On this week's episode, it's the fucking peaceful warrior. He said, remove the fucking stuff, remove the garbage, go over there and sit the fuck down, and don't come back to me until you have something good.
Phillip [00:00:09]:
To say when you have company over. I know I'm having people over. I'm more prone to clean and, like, do all the things I don't want to do.
Eldar [00:00:15]:
Swifter, how often do you have people over?
Phillip [00:00:18]:
Not very often.
Anatoliy [00:00:19]:
And I remember when I took that shower afterwards, and I changed. Like, I felt so good, and then I went to go play video games. I just felt it was appropriate. I felt like my experience was, like, this was, like, a great video game.
Phillip [00:00:32]:
Day, and you don't get that. Your level of attachment to these things.
Eldar [00:00:35]:
Correct.
Phillip [00:00:35]:
And ours is next to nothing.
Eldar [00:00:37]:
Ours is next to nothing.
Anatoliy [00:00:38]:
You hear this?
Phillip [00:00:39]:
Can we go to hamptons? Can we do helicopter ride? Can we go on vacation?
Phillip [00:00:54]:
So this is something I was thinking about stemming from. I mean, I was thinking about this before. I mean, I. I definitely think it's a topic I've been thinking about for a while, but I think it's finally time to make it. And, I mean, I'm. Well, okay. I'm under the impression that this would be something of value, but it could not be to me.
Eldar [00:01:13]:
Okay, cool.
Phillip [00:01:14]:
Right. But we may find out that it may not be or something. Right. But that's my impression right now, but I could be wrong on it. Okay.
Mike [00:01:24]:
Do you feel like you're a little hobby from that movie? Lord of the Rings was getting his backpack and is about to go on a nice, long journey.
Eldar [00:01:29]:
Yeah.
Anatoliy [00:01:30]:
Probably to pack up, though. Probably nice. It's on the topic of making a list. Right. And the list that I'm trying to make is that it's not a purpose of to stop thinking or to be robotic or anything like that, but it's more of, like, make it now, understand it now, and then later. I think it'd be interesting to reflect on it. So it's basically a list of things that would be important to, for example, do every day. Let's just say every week, every month, probably different things are on different schedules that will create, like, a body of work that will make me overall happy and fulfilled.
Anatoliy [00:02:26]:
Right. So what I mean by that is that, I know kind of stemming from doing things in the short term, doing things that affect the long term back and forth, like, stemming to that conversation. Either sometimes, I guess let's just say me, or there's don't think in the moment or don't consider things. Or, like, for example, I also know that there's ego at play. There's, like, self bias at play, right. There's a bunch of things at play. But if I made. I was just thinking that if I made a list while being clear headed and speaking with people that were also clear headed at that time, for example, then it's just something that I can always, for example, refer to and be like, yo, these are the things that we outline that are important.
Phillip [00:03:20]:
You're not doing them, for example. Right. So does it make sense for you to be happy, or does it make sense for you to feel these other kinds of ways? Right. I think that will help when, for example, there's not thought in the moment of short term things, for example, affecting long term things or thinking about even long term things or thinking about the wrong things, all those mixtures. Does that make sense at all?
Eldar [00:03:53]:
You want to create a list of things to do and then turn off the mind and just do them. No. And then reflect. No.
Phillip [00:04:00]:
So I don't want to stop thinking. No, I'm definitely not trying to make it like that.
Anatoliy [00:04:07]:
He wants to make a list because you're forgetting the things that make you happy on a daily basis. You get caught up in.
Phillip [00:04:13]:
Like, there's definitely different actions I do and different decisions I make where it's like, in the short term, I thought, okay, that was a decision I made in the short term. And then maybe I'm like, damn. Afterwards, damn, that was bad for long term. But I guess in that short term, for example, I would have to think about it, example. But that, for example, short term decision, if I thought better about it, maybe either in the moment or maybe if I had more, whatever that was making me feel that kind of way or whatever biases I had or whatever desires I had, I think maybe then it'll be more clear from you. Does that make sense or not?
Eldar [00:05:06]:
Yeah, maybe it does a little bit, but I'm having trouble understanding how somebody can do things and not focus on actually on how to do those things.
Phillip [00:05:16]:
Yeah, I'll give you an example.
Eldar [00:05:18]:
You understand my problem?
Phillip [00:05:20]:
Yes. Someone could do those things but not focus on them.
Eldar [00:05:24]:
No, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about, we can identify things that you can do like this. Okay. It's who the participant in those things is, is my problem.
Phillip [00:05:37]:
Who the participant in. Okay.
Eldar [00:05:39]:
Specific thing. Okay. So we can identify and say, all right, you should be juicing more or you should be exercising more. Okay. For example, okay, but we didn't identify how you should be juicing and how you should be exercising, what kind of person should be showing up at the door. Okay.
Phillip [00:06:01]:
Yeah, no, I definitely.
Eldar [00:06:03]:
Because if you come in, into the gym sluggish, angry with other things, 100%, you will not get the result. You understand how that works?
Phillip [00:06:12]:
100%, yeah.
Eldar [00:06:13]:
Okay.
Phillip [00:06:13]:
No, 100%. I understand that there has to be particular intentions.
Eldar [00:06:18]:
I don't see how you talk about any type of list without talking about.
Phillip [00:06:22]:
Well, no, I think that is very important part of it.
Eldar [00:06:24]:
Yeah, the most important thing. Yeah.
Phillip [00:06:26]:
I'm not just saying make a list and then just shut off and then just blindly follow it.
Eldar [00:06:31]:
For example, I can cut this conversation very short by saying that in your case, you probably need to remove the whole list and just do one thing. Sure. Like that. That's how I will probably give an example.
Phillip [00:06:46]:
So some of the things are big things, some of them are smaller things. I guess they might be weighed in different ways at different times. But for example, there's times where I get lazy about, let's just say, washing the dishes or cleaning certain things or doing certain things. And then in the moment, I guess I have a reason as to why I am lazy about it.
Eldar [00:07:07]:
Correct.
Phillip [00:07:08]:
Right. But in the long term, I definitely feel pain of not doing it.
Eldar [00:07:13]:
Correct.
Phillip [00:07:13]:
Right.
Eldar [00:07:14]:
Yeah.
Phillip [00:07:15]:
And it's almost like, I don't know, like a short term memory thing, I guess.
Eldar [00:07:20]:
Right.
Phillip [00:07:21]:
Potentially when it comes to that. But I'd ideally like to live a life where I don't have those feelings afterwards that I would say just my thoughts in general were a big goal of mine. And this is that I no longer want to feel the feeling that I felt for a long time, like a future feeling that I get when I don't go about things in a correct way. Do you know what I mean?
Eldar [00:07:53]:
Yeah, I do know what you mean, yeah.
Phillip [00:07:56]:
That was probably one of my main goals to accomplish. I don't want to feel those future feelings that I always end up feeling on different topics. Some of them I don't anymore. Some of them I definitely still do. And I don't want to have that kind of feeling anymore.
Eldar [00:08:14]:
Yeah, no, I get it. I get it. 100% I get it. Okay. Yeah. How big did you think your list was going to be?
Phillip [00:08:21]:
How big did I think my list.
Eldar [00:08:23]:
Was going to be?
Phillip [00:08:24]:
I mean, there's probably only a few. Probably core fundamental, I'm guessing, things, but maybe a lot of small things.
Eldar [00:08:34]:
Yeah. See, for me, I would say that if I focus on something like this, I would just focus probably on one thing, and that's it. And nothing else. I wouldn't allow myself or you get engaged in any type of engagement where your mind is scattered everywhere else. Why? Because I would focus on removing your attachment to all the nonsense that you've created in your mind. Okay. That's what I would do. Okay.
Eldar [00:08:59]:
I would focus on. Focus. Okay. Yeah, that's it. Yeah.
Anatoliy [00:09:04]:
The thing is, it sounds like you're trying to change those external things, but not necessarily those things. External things actually have a value or have a huge meaning because the underlying stuff, right. I was talking to Phil the other day, there's values, right? As people, we value nice cars, nice clothes, nice food, right? And that's like level. That's the one level of it. And then there's another level where you value peace of mind, you value honesty.
Eldar [00:09:35]:
I don't know how you can try.
Anatoliy [00:09:38]:
To work on those things. External things, like things that make you happy, like cooking or cleaning or doing the dishes or going to play basketball, but not focus on the internal because I don't think you'll succeed doing that because those things that are on the external, they're never going to make you happy when you have the two levels of values, right? When the main level, which is your own internal stuff, is not fulfilled. So I don't think you can extract correct that from.
Phillip [00:10:09]:
Yeah, I understand what you're saying. Is there like a chance or a way that those things are kind of together? You have your value and belief system, and then every day, every hour, every minute second.
Eldar [00:10:32]:
Right.
Phillip [00:10:32]:
You're choosing different actions to do or not do.
Eldar [00:10:36]:
Right?
Phillip [00:10:36]:
And the accumulation of those actions is like a body of work.
Eldar [00:10:41]:
I almost look at it, right?
Phillip [00:10:44]:
And that kind of dictates pretty much things just don't not make sense and happen most of the time, right. We could talk about some freaking anomalies, right? But most of the time, like the accumulation of your actions.
Eldar [00:10:57]:
What do you think, Mike, about what is this robot trying to hack?
Anatoliy [00:11:03]:
The robot is trying to hack something for.
Eldar [00:11:05]:
Right? Yeah.
Anatoliy [00:11:07]:
You can't.
Eldar [00:11:08]:
You can't. Yeah. It's impossible.
Anatoliy [00:11:10]:
The way I see it is, I was trying to think of analogy that would be understandable. It's like, imagine you have a car. He is a car. He's a vehicle.
Eldar [00:11:20]:
Right.
Anatoliy [00:11:20]:
And on the outside, your shit is fucking clean, polished. You got nice shiny rims, tires hooked up. But inside, your engine is not fucking working. You're not going to go anywhere.
Eldar [00:11:28]:
Yeah.
Anatoliy [00:11:29]:
You have to fix the engine because that's more important. And everything else versus trying to fix the external.
Eldar [00:11:36]:
The goal is to fix the. If the goal, the overturn goal is to get somewhere, right? Yeah. Then it's hard to. Yeah.
Phillip [00:11:43]:
And I'm not coming into it. Like, I want to just help with this list, and I know exactly with what I need help with. I mentioned the star. I have an assumption of some things, but I'm definitely like, where did this.
Eldar [00:11:54]:
Assumption come from and how'd you deduce that this is what you want to do?
Phillip [00:12:01]:
I definitely understood that. It definitely involves a lot of internal things. Right. But I basically had a goal, a desire to basically pick apart, almost like the things I do every day, and then almost like test myself or verify or understand that when I'm not. Almost have it right in front of me that when you're taking wrong actions and doing wrong things, they're going to 100% equate to this because this was outlined, discussed. This is what I said I wanted. Right.
Eldar [00:12:48]:
But don't you already have that data for yourself? Are you happy?
Phillip [00:12:55]:
I do and I don't because there's clearly still reasons why I do what I do.
Eldar [00:13:04]:
But you're leaning towards changing that, right?
Phillip [00:13:07]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:13:08]:
You have some kind of hypothesis.
Phillip [00:13:10]:
Yeah, my hypothesis, my kind of prediction is that if I'm saying, okay, I'd like to be happy, and there's things identified that are like, okay, these are the clear actions based on what you want out of life or what you want, that will lead to feeling this kind of way and lead to living a particular way, whether it's like a virtuous way, honest way, all those different things. These are the clear things that are necessary to maintain this idea of happiness.
Eldar [00:13:48]:
Right.
Phillip [00:13:50]:
And then if they're not being done, then it'll clearly equate a different way.
Eldar [00:13:58]:
Yeah, but you already have the data, like I said. Right.
Anatoliy [00:14:03]:
You're saying that he has the knowledge already.
Eldar [00:14:05]:
Well, he's saying that he wants to see, like, he doesn't know.
Anatoliy [00:14:09]:
He doesn't know if he has the knowledge already. Of what?
Phillip [00:14:11]:
Like I said, this is obviously, like on the smaller side thing, but this is like a clear thing. For example, when my house is clean and I keep up to date with my things, right. I definitely feel internally much better. Or when I do things like, I don't know, in the yard or stuff like that, definitely feel proud and fulfilled in doing that, then I also have.
Eldar [00:14:33]:
Times where.
Phillip [00:14:37]:
I don't fulfill certain things or don't keep up certain things for whatever my short term reasons are. But then in the long term, I don't feel good about the situation.
Anatoliy [00:14:48]:
Do you think it's possible that when you extract the truth and you actually extract the actual truth, that that can be a fleeting thing?
Phillip [00:14:56]:
A fleeting thing? Well, it's a fleeting thing if not maintained.
Eldar [00:15:00]:
Yes.
Anatoliy [00:15:00]:
It's not maintained, yes. Because maybe you think that you're tapping into the truth by doing those things, what you said, like keeping clean garden.
Eldar [00:15:07]:
Keeping clean.
Anatoliy [00:15:07]:
Doing the garden. You think that you're extracting good stuff from it, because maybe you think that you're extracting something from that. You're extracting, like, you're doing things like the gardening and you think it makes you happy, you think it makes you proud. But if it's then fleeting and you don't keep up with it, then there's a reason that there's a lag, there's a reason that's happening, and I'm thinking maybe that's what it is.
Phillip [00:15:31]:
Yeah, I definitely think there's times where I'm tapping into it and then I'm tapping out of it.
Anatoliy [00:15:40]:
So if you're tapping into it and you're tapping out of it, then is it a matter of knowledge or is it a matter of something else?
Phillip [00:15:48]:
Well, it might be both. There might not need work on it.
Anatoliy [00:15:53]:
Where is the disconnect?
Eldar [00:15:55]:
He has an issue that why is it not consistent enough? How is this possible that you get so much out of it but you don't keep doing it? That makes no sense to him. Yeah, I agree with the challenge 100%. You know what I'm saying?
Anatoliy [00:16:11]:
I'm just thinking maybe he's calling something for what it's not. Maybe he thinks he's actually tapping into the truth in those things and that's why he's only extracting it for a short time or not. Inconsistent.
Eldar [00:16:22]:
I hope you're not tying your feeling good to cleaning. I hope you're not.
Phillip [00:16:29]:
What do you mean by that?
Eldar [00:16:31]:
Like you said, when I clean, I feel good.
Anatoliy [00:16:34]:
Yeah, that was my thing. That's what I'm saying. Same thing.
Eldar [00:16:37]:
Okay. Yeah.
Phillip [00:16:40]:
I'm confused. What do you mean?
Eldar [00:16:44]:
You're saying that when I clean or when I do these things, I then feel good internally. And my challenge is, are those things that are actually making you feel good or is there something else that's making me feel good? Yeah.
Phillip [00:16:58]:
Well, I think it's like the accumulation of doing right tasks.
Eldar [00:17:03]:
Right.
Phillip [00:17:05]:
That definitely, I think, contributes towards me feeling particular ways.
Anatoliy [00:17:10]:
But what does it mean when you say right tasks? Where's the rightness in it?
Phillip [00:17:17]:
I feel like when there are certain things I'm doing and certain ways I'm living, it equates to me feeling good ways. And then when there are certain ways, certain things I'm doing and living certain ways, it probably equates to me feeling bad.
Eldar [00:17:34]:
And you're not tying this to, for example. Right. How I see it, the time when you finally found the courage to pick yourself up and take care of your house is actually, you finally decluttered whatever it is that's going on in your brain, in your mind, and you disconnected from those things. You finally found focus on those specific tasks, which don't bring you any anxiety. Right. You know what I'm saying? And you focus long enough on them, and you've seen the result. You like what you're seeing, and you, in that moment, was meditating for an hour or two or whatever, however long it was, and that's what's actually making you feel good.
Phillip [00:18:12]:
That is exactly what's happening.
Eldar [00:18:13]:
That's exactly what's happening. So you agree with that? Yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah. You see, the difference between. You're saying, okay, you're saying that the.
Phillip [00:18:21]:
Way I'm talking about it is, like, adding things, and the way you're talking about it is removing.
Eldar [00:18:24]:
Correct. That's why I told you that. That's why I wanted to see how big your list was, because that would tell me, what are you thinking?
Phillip [00:18:31]:
Yeah, my just whole. I guess, like I said in the beginning, I could be wrong about how I'm thinking about or going about it, but my goal is just to find a way to basically almost, like, cut out my short term memory, memory in some of the things that I have short term memory in. And on a daily basis, do the right actions, do the right things, so that I don't have those future feelings, those bad future feelings. To figure out a way to consistently live that kind of way.
Eldar [00:19:12]:
Yeah. Okay. All right.
Phillip [00:19:15]:
Is that a wrong feeling, do you think, or wrong way to think about it?
Eldar [00:19:22]:
I mean, you're thinking about it. I'm not sure if it's wrong. I would have to examine it or test it.
Phillip [00:19:26]:
Yeah, I know. It definitely has to do with belief systems and things as well. But for example, primarily, I don't view you as a person that lets the vines grow on different parts of your life.
Eldar [00:19:44]:
Right.
Phillip [00:19:45]:
I'm definitely, for a long time, more of a definitely let the vines grow type person. Right. But then no matter which person you are, if that does happen to you, everybody feels the same way about it in the future. No one likes it. Right. That's universal. Right. And then when it happens, people go two different directions.
Phillip [00:20:07]:
They either get angry at something and blame something externally and then just continue in some weird way.
Eldar [00:20:14]:
Right.
Phillip [00:20:15]:
Or you could obviously make a change and choose different actions, and it's up to the individual how they want to go about it, obviously.
Eldar [00:20:25]:
Right. No, yeah.
Phillip [00:20:26]:
And there's definitely stuff that I have been significantly improving on, I think, not having that happen, but I definitely still encounter those kinds of feelings. And, yeah. My goal was just to remove that because I am doing the right things every day. One of the things you said, can you do this for 20 minutes?
Eldar [00:20:56]:
Right.
Phillip [00:20:58]:
For me, my mindset is more of like, no, if you're going to do it, you got to do this for 3 hours. That's just unconsciously sometimes how I think about it, and then it sounds like an overwhelming or big thing, and then it just never gets done. Versus could do 20 minutes per day, seven days a week.
Eldar [00:21:14]:
Right. Equals 2 hours of work.
Phillip [00:21:16]:
Yeah, but I don't think about it in the moment. I'm saying in that kind of way that, like, hey, 20 minutes of this every day can accumulate towards doing exactly what you want. But you're almost, like, not thinking about it.
Eldar [00:21:32]:
Yeah, but because for the person who operates the way you do, they don't have 20 minutes per day. You're always trying to buy time somewhere in the future. A big amount of time.
Phillip [00:21:45]:
Yeah, but I also think that that can change based on what choices I make on an everyday.
Eldar [00:21:53]:
It cannot change because the belief system can outweigh and the value system can outweigh all those choices. Okay. Yeah.
Phillip [00:22:01]:
No, obviously that would need to be encompassed. Yeah, I definitely think those things are very important.
Eldar [00:22:15]:
Together with these things, I think it's the most important thing. Okay. So the list has to be revolving around those things and taking those things into consideration.
Phillip [00:22:27]:
Yeah. I definitely agree that your belief systems lead to you doing things on a daily basis that contribute and support those beliefs, which then, in the future, you make you feel good.
Eldar [00:22:40]:
They serve me. They serve you, correct. Yes. And you do things the way you do them based on the things that you believe in, and therefore you are where you are. Yeah.
Phillip [00:22:50]:
And see, that is, for me, confusing, because I feel like when I'm thinking and I'm clear minded, I believe a particular type of thing, but not always, then.
Eldar [00:23:03]:
That is your problem.
Anatoliy [00:23:04]:
Who's in control of you being clear minded?
Eldar [00:23:06]:
We've identified that when you think you know the truth, when you stop here, you turn it off, and then you live something else out that is the phenomena that you're struggling with.
Phillip [00:23:17]:
Yeah, definitely. My intention is part to beat that, to overcome.
Eldar [00:23:29]:
Yeah. But piling on tasks that you think that are going to be.
Phillip [00:23:33]:
Well, it's not necessarily piling on tasks.
Eldar [00:23:37]:
You need one reminder.
Phillip [00:23:38]:
Yeah, but it's not necessarily piling on tests.
Eldar [00:23:40]:
Okay.
Phillip [00:23:41]:
It could be removing certain things currently that you do and adding other things.
Eldar [00:23:46]:
No, no adding at all, it sounds like. What? There's no adding of tasks. There's only one thing that needs to be done is to bring on the memory. You need to somehow bring the memory from what you know to what you do. And when you gap, that you will be able to then have and lead with the right intention into all the tasks that you do. So because you can't do that, because there's so many different tasks and your mind can't properly process all the stuff, you need to be removing the tasks as much as possible. If you're going to the gym, you only go into the gym for a very specific reason. You're not distracting yourself from anything.
Eldar [00:24:24]:
If you're at work, you're only doing work. If you're at home, you're only doing home shit. We've identified your problem a long time ago that you have add and your mind is all over the place. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So you're not allowed to use the phone, for example, at home or talk to anybody. If you were to identify that working on your home is the best thing for you. So when you come home, you do things at home for yourself? Yeah, that's how I see this thing. It's not saying like, okay, cool, so I'm going to come home and I'm going to do the right thing.
Eldar [00:24:59]:
What is the right thing? Oh, doing the dishes and this. No, that's not how that's going to work because at the end of the day, if you don't carry the intention behind it, you're going to get swayed somewhere down the line and those things are going to get dropped no matter how you spin it.
Phillip [00:25:13]:
So then how do I do these different things with these particular intentions and be mindful about them?
Eldar [00:25:20]:
Well, to do them efficiently, I think, is to remove most of the stuff.
Anatoliy [00:25:23]:
Yeah, you have a big plate, you.
Eldar [00:25:26]:
Have too much going on. Yeah. You're juggling 1000 things in your mind, if not more. You know what I'm saying? One thing.
Anatoliy [00:25:37]:
Okay.
Eldar [00:25:37]:
One thing. That's what I would think.
Anatoliy [00:25:39]:
That's part of thinking back to when I was going through stuff, a lot of stuff.
Eldar [00:25:43]:
I did.
Anatoliy [00:25:44]:
Was I removed things, correct as well. Things that I was doing well.
Eldar [00:25:47]:
You suffer from add too.
Anatoliy [00:25:48]:
Yeah, I suffer from add two. So I removed these things because I realized that I wasn't able to do them. With intention.
Eldar [00:25:54]:
Yeah, with intention. Correct. And they weren't serving you?
Anatoliy [00:25:58]:
They weren't serving me, yeah. So that was definitely big removing stuff.
Eldar [00:26:01]:
Yeah, 100%.
Anatoliy [00:26:03]:
So you can focus on the things, limited number of things.
Eldar [00:26:06]:
So you can remember the most important thing. Because if you say yourself, I'm not allowing myself to do this, this. And the third you say, why not? It's always going to bring you back to your reminder, like, oh, I got a problem. I got a mental health condition that holds me away from doing the things that I actually need to be doing. That's it. That's how I see it.
Phillip [00:26:27]:
I guess when it comes to different things that I'm thinking about now, if you're talking about doing one at a time. Right. I guess when you say that, the instant, I guess not, like back, but what do you call the thought that goes in my mind? But I don't just do one thing all day. For example, there's different things I do. I work, I play video games. I sleep, I watch some YouTube content.
Eldar [00:27:12]:
Yeah, you're doing all the stuff that negatively impact you.
Phillip [00:27:15]:
Yeah, I do. Like, different house stuff, for example.
Eldar [00:27:18]:
You didn't hear me. You do all the stuff that negatively impacts you. Yeah, it's like, remember, you don't know how. Remember that impression?
Anatoliy [00:27:26]:
Remember when I was saying that I wanted to hang out with Oleg to turn my mind off?
Eldar [00:27:29]:
Yeah.
Anatoliy [00:27:30]:
I think that what you're trying to do is, or maybe you're not trying to, what is actually happening is you're going in those things, like the video games. You turn your mind off and then you forget to turn it back on, and then you get stuck and you end up getting into other engagements that you don't want to get engaged in. Yeah, that's what's happening.
Eldar [00:27:46]:
100%. Yeah.
Phillip [00:27:48]:
And then you get stuck in what?
Anatoliy [00:27:50]:
You get stuck. You never forget to put the mind back on. You don't need to do fucking philosophy probably, right? Or you don't think you need to do philosophy when you're playing video games, but you actually might need to.
Eldar [00:28:01]:
Correct.
Anatoliy [00:28:01]:
Because there are situations that people are going to be rude. You might want to get into anger, fight with them.
Eldar [00:28:06]:
Right.
Anatoliy [00:28:06]:
Like, all kinds of weird shit could happen. But you come in there and you come in there to play video games, which is everybody has the impression, oh, I'm going to turn off my mind. I'm going to play video games, kill zombies or whatever it is, but when you come out of it, you're like, okay, I'm done playing video games. Let me put the switch, Sean. Now I'm back to fucking philosophy, or whatever you want to call it. But you go from shutting the mind off. You go to the next shutting the mind off.
Eldar [00:28:28]:
There's no chance. Because the neglect happens as soon as it starts. Yes. Because it's already known that this is his trajectory. You understand? So there's no conversation around.
Anatoliy [00:28:39]:
No, I'm saying there's no conversation. I'm just trying to explain it how it works. So you shut your mind off in the games, then you shut your mind off. You go watch sports, and then the dishes don't get done because you had plans to maybe do the dishes, but you shut them off in the games, then you shut them off on YouTube. Then you shut them off on sports.
Eldar [00:28:54]:
Correct.
Anatoliy [00:28:54]:
And now you go to sleep and.
Eldar [00:28:55]:
You fucking feel terrible. Exactly. And nothing gets done. Nothing. Actually, what needs to get done gets done. Yeah. It's process of elimination of things that don't serve you, actually is the most important thing that needs to be focused on, which then will buy you, hopefully, the time and memory that is escaping you every single time you turn this off.
Anatoliy [00:29:19]:
Yeah, I was thinking that's probably like. I was thinking, I don't know. But instead of making a list of.
Eldar [00:29:25]:
It's the fucking peaceful warrior, he said, remove the fucking stuff. Remove the garbage. Yeah, empty the. Go over there and sit the fuck down and don't come back to me until you have something good to say. Yeah, this is what he said. Empty the fucking shit because you got too much shit going on. And then to do what? Right? To identify what you actually are passionate about and you're good at and fucking do it. He said, yo, we're better than that.
Eldar [00:29:51]:
He goes, what are you talking about? This is your passion. Get back on the fucking rings. But now you go into the back of the rings. Why? With focus, with actual fucking intention. And then you become the fucking master of the craft. What are we talking about? He does a thousand things in his head. A thousand. Gaming.
Eldar [00:30:10]:
That's big things. That's not even what I'm talking about. That's not even what I'm talking about. That's probably the easiest of the stuff to put down. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Anatoliy [00:30:18]:
There's a million different things.
Eldar [00:30:20]:
It's the worries.
Anatoliy [00:30:21]:
It's a million different mindless things that you do.
Eldar [00:30:22]:
Worries.
Anatoliy [00:30:23]:
Calling your mom, calling your sister, calling your dad, your grandma.
Eldar [00:30:26]:
Correct.
Anatoliy [00:30:26]:
Those are all light switches you turn off. And once you turn them off.
Eldar [00:30:29]:
Correct.
Anatoliy [00:30:30]:
Palitio Poy is like, the ship is fucking sailed. Yeah, that's what happens. Those are the small hearts identify.
Eldar [00:30:37]:
But those things, they happen for a reason. It's a value system, belief system behind it. That's why it happens in the first place. Yes. There's a driving force that is telling him to, we need to do this. And until you overcome that, what things? You can't turn your mind off and do mindless things, bro. Like mindless actions. To think that you're going to accumulate things to get you to.
Phillip [00:30:59]:
No, I'm definitely not trying to do mindless.
Eldar [00:31:02]:
Yeah, you need to do one thing, one thing at a time.
Phillip [00:31:06]:
So what does that look like on it?
Eldar [00:31:09]:
You come to work. Yeah. You're buried at work. Okay. There's nothing you're doing outside of that. There's no appointments.
Phillip [00:31:15]:
You're saying one thing on that thing that you're talking about.
Eldar [00:31:19]:
100%. Okay, 100%. If we identify that you like doing housework because it accomplishes several good things in your house, in your losing weight, clean house, feeling good inside, all this other shit. You come home, you only focus on that. You don't get engaged in any other fucking activities. But that. You know what I'm saying? If, for example, you identify that gaming is the thing and that's what you need to be doing, you need to abandon everything else. Just game.
Eldar [00:31:48]:
You know what I'm saying? If that's what's going to get you there. But you have to be honest with yourself.
Phillip [00:31:55]:
When I was coming into this conversation, more thinking about is that.
Anatoliy [00:32:01]:
I definitely.
Phillip [00:32:01]:
Knew that a focus and a mindset was required. But I was thinking about it more from all the different things that I currently say that I enjoy doing or current things situation.
Eldar [00:32:16]:
Yeah, but what do you mean you enjoy doing? Like what? Basketball.
Phillip [00:32:19]:
In particular ways, I guess.
Eldar [00:32:22]:
In particular ways. You said on Friday. And what'd you say about basketball? Tonight's basketball.
Phillip [00:32:27]:
After these games, I get very frustrated.
Eldar [00:32:31]:
And now you're telling me that you enjoy it.
Phillip [00:32:34]:
Well, no, like, I enjoy, for example, the build up. No, when I placed on the weekend.
Eldar [00:32:41]:
Yeah, that's fine.
Phillip [00:32:44]:
And I definitely got myself at times there.
Eldar [00:32:47]:
Yeah. I think that until you actually open the stuff up, like you did on Friday about basketball and find out whether or not it actually is serving you, and you're honest about that specific thing, you can't put it in the pool of you enjoying it? How can you trust yourself? Think you're lying to yourself?
Phillip [00:33:05]:
No, 100%. And I don't want to do in the short term, for example, in the short term, like tonight, typically, that's excited for the game, ready to go.
Eldar [00:33:18]:
Yeah. The build up. Right.
Phillip [00:33:18]:
The build up, stuff like that. And these are certain short term feelings, and then afterwards, I'm just like, couldn't run how I wanted to run, couldn't guard how I wanted to guard, couldn't shoot how I wanted to shoot. Couldn't contribute how I want to contribute stylistically, couldn't do things that I want to do. Right. And then I definitely. Future me, feels bad in that moment, and then a reset happens, obviously. And then that cycle just continues.
Eldar [00:33:48]:
Yeah, exactly.
Anatoliy [00:33:52]:
You lose your memory till next week.
Eldar [00:33:54]:
Exactly. That's all it is. If you identify that it actually is not serving you, if it makes you angry internally and you beat yourself up internally, what are you doing?
Phillip [00:34:06]:
No, 100%.
Eldar [00:34:07]:
You know what I'm saying? So, like I said, until you. Yeah.
Phillip [00:34:13]:
Unless there's, like, a drastic change next season, I definitely was not planning on playing.
Eldar [00:34:17]:
Yeah.
Anatoliy [00:34:18]:
I think maybe instead of focusing, adding on things he likes, he needs to identify things that he doesn't like. Of course, that's probably the best start, because eliminating things that you don't like will probably lead you to doing more things you do like.
Eldar [00:34:34]:
Of course.
Anatoliy [00:34:35]:
Or by a process of deletion.
Phillip [00:34:37]:
But you'll be more happy, I guess, in the process. Not that it confuses me, but just what ends up happening is that I make decisions on things that I think I like.
Anatoliy [00:34:46]:
You're making decisions as the doctor and the patient?
Phillip [00:34:51]:
Well, like I'm saying, just, like, in general, on a day to day basis, every hour, every day, you make decisions that I do and don't like, and then the future outcomes are going to play out. Regardless of what you do, there's going to be a future outcome. Whether you eat too much or just enough or too little, something will happen from that every time, regardless of what it is. Too much. You may feel sleepy. If it's too little. I don't know. You may not have enough energy or something.
Phillip [00:35:25]:
If it's just right, then you may just feel those things will all make sense.
Anatoliy [00:35:30]:
Yeah, but what you're saying. I agree. But see, you're saying, hey, in this specific example, you're saying the baseline is, like, eat too little, too much, or not enough. But I think you're maybe putting a lot of light onto those things versus actually, how did you even get to the place in the first place that you're even thinking about what's too much or too little. I think it's the value system and the coping mechanisms and those kind of things that are all tied here, which maybe need more focus. Understand, why is your belief systems leading to your actions and then your actions leading to you feeling bad? So you're examining the actions, but I think more deeper dive into the reasons you act like that.
Eldar [00:36:10]:
Yeah.
Phillip [00:36:11]:
So I guess I'm trying to extend my clear headed minded belief systems.
Anatoliy [00:36:18]:
Into.
Phillip [00:36:18]:
The long term part of my life.
Anatoliy [00:36:21]:
Yeah, but how are you doing that? You're wanting to buy what? Buy every single time.
Phillip [00:36:26]:
No, like I said, I'm open on.
Anatoliy [00:36:29]:
Like, oh, you'd like to?
Eldar [00:36:30]:
Yeah.
Phillip [00:36:31]:
No, again, I said that talking about this potential list was definitely on my mind. I told you from the beginning that I could be wrong about how I'm going about it or thinking about it, but the internal desire I have is that I no longer want to feel those future bad feelings that I continuously feel in my life after I've made an accumulation of not enough right actions.
Eldar [00:36:58]:
Well, yeah, well, that's the thing. So he has things, right. He says that makes him feel bad if he doesn't do them, for example. Right. We need to identify things. Like he said, I'm not taking care of my house. But if you're playing video games, if you're playing video games all day, you're not taking care of your house. That is directly linked to your time consumption.
Eldar [00:37:19]:
Right? So what outweighs what? However, now, if he went and said, you know what, I'm putting the games down. I'm putting the games down and I'm taking care of my house, and then that same pain, same pain, equal pain comes from video gaming, you know what I'm saying? Where he's like, oh, shit, I didn't beat that level. So that pain is coming from that gaming thing, then we got a problem. Then we need to see what outweighs the other. You know what I'm saying?
Anatoliy [00:37:45]:
Yeah. When I go back.
Phillip [00:37:46]:
No, I'd like to have a balance of these different things.
Eldar [00:37:50]:
100%. In order to have a balance, you need to be able to be good in one thing first. You can't just jump, throw yourself into.
Phillip [00:37:58]:
Like, textbook on Saturdays or Sundays. If I play basketball and I told you, hail, that I also wanted to mulch do this and that, right? And I end up playing 3 hours of basketball, and the current shape I'm in, if I do that, I am finished. The rest of the day.
Eldar [00:38:13]:
Totally. We talked about this a year ago. Yeah. Did we not talk about this a year ago? Yeah. You remember this, right? What did we say? You should not be playing basketball on Saturdays because your recovery is fucking three days. Yes. You understand? But you're saying that. Hey, but I like these things.
Eldar [00:38:32]:
Yes, if you like those things. But the magnitude of what happens afterwards, those weeds that you're talking about, the vines that grow past it, and they weigh more when it comes to mental health. Yes. You're doing it wrong.
Phillip [00:38:46]:
100%.
Eldar [00:38:47]:
Well, that's what I'm saying.
Phillip [00:38:48]:
100%.
Eldar [00:38:48]:
You need to be able to identify those things.
Phillip [00:38:50]:
Yeah, I want to be able to identify.
Eldar [00:38:52]:
This is not making a list. It's like Mike said, you need to identify the things that actually make you feel good and actually things that take away from you actually making you feel good.
Phillip [00:39:00]:
Okay, can you guys help me identify these things?
Eldar [00:39:03]:
Only you can help us identify those things by being honest. There's no way.
Phillip [00:39:09]:
I don't know how I can truthfully be honest with. I can only think I'm being honest, but how do I know that?
Eldar [00:39:18]:
Okay, so I would start with the question, how much pain do you get?
Phillip [00:39:25]:
Question, could the verification of your short term answers, could they be verified, your honesty, based on what you view, like the long term?
Eldar [00:39:39]:
I don't understand.
Anatoliy [00:39:40]:
Yeah, if I'm understanding correctly, you're trying to. In a way, again, as a hack, you're trying to saying if the short.
Eldar [00:39:48]:
Term, it will equate to the long term, right? Is that what you're saying?
Phillip [00:39:53]:
No, I'm saying that short term and long term things are definitely directly linked. And the short term things could be an accumulation of many things that then create a long term thing. But my question in that is that could you verify your current present day honesty with your future values and beliefs?
Eldar [00:40:13]:
Future values, what does that mean? Future values and beliefs? I don't understand that one day you're.
Phillip [00:40:21]:
Going to develop, like, your long term goals or desires.
Eldar [00:40:25]:
Yeah, but goals and desires is different from future.
Anatoliy [00:40:28]:
We can't judge that today based on what's going to happen.
Eldar [00:40:31]:
I don't think. There's no saying, like, it's future values and beliefs.
Phillip [00:40:34]:
No. Now future values and beliefs is like the wrong way of wording it. I'm trying to say is that, for example, if your long term goal is.
Eldar [00:40:41]:
To fall in love. Right.
Phillip [00:40:43]:
It's your long term goal, right?
Eldar [00:40:46]:
Yeah. You can't be a slob today. No.
Phillip [00:40:48]:
100%. Yeah, exactly.
Eldar [00:40:50]:
Right.
Phillip [00:40:51]:
So could you see if you're being honest or not, in your short term assessment of things that you like or not like, if they're definitely not going to contribute towards doing that, it's hard.
Anatoliy [00:41:04]:
Then you have to also. Yeah, I'm not sure because you have to know both. Regardless.
Phillip [00:41:13]:
Whatever your long term goals are, if your short term actions are not a reflection, are not adding towards accomplishing those goals, then could they be something that you like or don't like? Is that the clear indicator is what I'm asking?
Eldar [00:41:33]:
Yeah, probably.
Anatoliy [00:41:35]:
If you have a long term girl and falling in love, but you short term, you have in one night stands, those are clear actions of you actually don't want.
Eldar [00:41:41]:
100%. Yeah, that's 100%. Because the goal does not align with the current belief system.
Phillip [00:41:48]:
Yes, that's what I'm saying.
Phillip [00:41:50]:
That in this example. So let's say the things that you do have are the things that you're doing. Right.
Phillip [00:41:56]:
By the way, when you're explaining things, it definitely increases my happiness when you do this, when your hands are in this position, whether it's rage. No, once you start doing this, I know you have a good point for sure.
Phillip [00:42:10]:
Okay, so what I'm thinking.
Eldar [00:42:12]:
There it is.
Phillip [00:42:12]:
What I'm thinking is that we're talking about the house and we're talking about the house a lot, right? So then you're doing other things like video games, you're cooking, you're playing basketball. Maybe some things bring you happiness, maybe you don't. You're trying to figure out which ones actually do, which ones don't. So I think you have to basically strip everyone down and you have to basically ask, what is it, why you did it, and what's actually making you not do it. So when you cook, it seems like to me you naturally enjoy. Nobody's like forcing you to do it. Now you have to actually eat, right? You actually have to eat food. You eat your house.
Phillip [00:42:47]:
You actually have to live in a place. Most people have to clean it or you're going to live in total just rubble. So your house, why do you have your house? Do you really want the house? Do you really want to do all the things that are there? Or is it an idea that you have in your head? Video games? Is it something that brings you joy that you naturally want to do? Or you're just wasting time?
Eldar [00:43:09]:
He said sell the house and move into a web station.
Phillip [00:43:12]:
This is what I'm saying. We have to ask ourselves these questions because if we're constantly doing this and we're bringing this up from a year ago, and I'm new to this now. I've heard this a couple of times. So for me, you have to be really hard with yourself or just honest and just start asking yourself why you made these decisions. And if you don't know why you made them, that's going to be really hard for us to kind of decipher whether you should be doing them or not. In my personal example of being around you, I'd say cooking is number one. It's humble. It's something where you're humble, you bring people around.
Phillip [00:43:45]:
You naturally enjoy describing the potatoes and cooking the food, putting out the kit. You went downstairs in the basement and you actually went downstairs and you got the cushions and you went upstairs and you wanted to set the whole thing up. You did that effortlessly. Effortlessly. Because that to me is a version of cleaning and setting up. So if when you're by yourself, you're not going down to get the cushions, you're not wanting to clean and do all this stuff because you're just doing it for yourself. So maybe you have to say, oh, what if I have people over more? What if I cook more? What if that's more of my focus? And then maybe cleaning will be a byproduct of you bringing people together who's.
Eldar [00:44:26]:
Telling you all this shit.
Phillip [00:44:27]:
So I think that this would be like, no, this would be a thought process.
Phillip [00:44:31]:
Part of that feeling spot. I definitely enjoy when you guys come over and I can host for a UFC thing or just invite to a cook. And now I have furniture in the back. When we were all there, I definitely enjoy myself. What I don't enjoy myself is when my house is, for example, dirty or when I don't maintain stuff. And then now I don't want to invite you guys, for example.
Phillip [00:44:56]:
What about this example?
Eldar [00:44:57]:
Ready?
Phillip [00:44:58]:
So what about you just know that you're going to play video games, go home, you don't have any plans. All of a sudden you have plans. Do you start to think, oh, I have to clean before they come over. And then do you actually do it?
Phillip [00:45:10]:
There's definitely things to think about before yet. Like, I have to do this, I have to do that.
Phillip [00:45:14]:
But we came over your house. It was pretty clean. You did some cleaning before. No.
Eldar [00:45:18]:
Or no?
Phillip [00:45:19]:
Because it wasn't dirty.
Phillip [00:45:20]:
I don't remember.
Phillip [00:45:21]:
Okay, so my example would be if I know that somebody's coming over, whether it be like family, friend, girl, like somebody.
Eldar [00:45:27]:
That's a lie. Okay.
Phillip [00:45:28]:
I know.
Eldar [00:45:29]:
Always clean.
Phillip [00:45:30]:
No, but it's not super clean.
Eldar [00:45:33]:
I'm going to tell you the guys right now. Okay, I'm going to let him finish. Or maybe I won't let him finish. Yeah, you probably should. He's the messiest person out of all four of us.
Anatoliy [00:45:43]:
Yes, he 100% is.
Eldar [00:45:44]:
I'm telling you that right now.
Anatoliy [00:45:47]:
You're welcome.
Eldar [00:45:47]:
Totally. But please don't use it against him. Tell you that right now. Yeah, this whole thing was a gimmick. We're going to get to his situation later. It's dead. Totally.
Phillip [00:46:01]:
So what I'm saying is, when I have somebody over, I know that I have to clean, and it forces me to do, like, the scrubbing, the shower, whatever.
Eldar [00:46:08]:
If I don't do this, you suffer from some of the same things. Yeah.
Phillip [00:46:12]:
So I'm saying, when you have company over, I know I'm having people over. I'm more prone to clean and do all the things I don't want to do. Swifter vacuum. Just scrub.
Eldar [00:46:22]:
You're forced.
Anatoliy [00:46:23]:
That's why you never have people over.
Phillip [00:46:24]:
Exactly.
Eldar [00:46:25]:
You like being forced to do cleaning things.
Phillip [00:46:27]:
I don't like being forced, but I know that it causes me to do certain things that I wouldn't normally want to do.
Eldar [00:46:32]:
How often do you have people over?
Phillip [00:46:35]:
Not very often.
Eldar [00:46:37]:
I get it. Yeah.
Phillip [00:46:38]:
That's a really good way to get out.
Phillip [00:46:40]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:46:41]:
I knew they asked that question.
Anatoliy [00:46:42]:
That works out pretty well.
Phillip [00:46:46]:
I would say part of that would probably be because I don't have enough space, but then you can ask the question, like, why don't I have enough space? And then I'm looking at houses, at Mike, we were asking, why don't I have this thing yet? I think I was thinking in a mindset of when it's just about me. I don't want to clean. I don't want to expand. I don't want to do really anything to grow.
Eldar [00:47:06]:
You ever seen the movie big fish?
Phillip [00:47:11]:
I think so.
Eldar [00:47:11]:
You think so?
Anatoliy [00:47:12]:
No.
Phillip [00:47:14]:
If you've seen this movie, you did.
Eldar [00:47:16]:
Not give the answer.
Phillip [00:47:16]:
I think so.
Eldar [00:47:17]:
Yeah.
Phillip [00:47:17]:
I just don't remember.
Phillip [00:47:18]:
It's very black and white.
Eldar [00:47:19]:
Yeah.
Anatoliy [00:47:20]:
No, you cannot not.
Eldar [00:47:22]:
Then I'm going to save this, because this is, again, another movie recommendation from us to you regarding space and that thing that you and Mike were talking about. Why you in the small fish. Yeah. Okay.
Phillip [00:47:34]:
Yeah, no, I think I did. It wasn't Jason Bateman. It was something with water. And then there was, like a big fish.
Phillip [00:47:39]:
No, too big for the town.
Eldar [00:47:41]:
Yeah.
Phillip [00:47:43]:
Wasn't there like a village and stuff like that? Lights and all that?
Phillip [00:47:46]:
Jason Bateman.
Phillip [00:47:47]:
Jason Bateman.
Eldar [00:47:48]:
Or.
Anatoliy [00:47:48]:
No, he looks kind of like.
Eldar [00:47:49]:
He looks like a Jason Bateman. Yeah, he looks like a Jason Bateman.
Phillip [00:47:51]:
Oh, the british version guy.
Eldar [00:47:52]:
Yes, correct. Okay.
Phillip [00:47:54]:
Ewan McGregor.
Eldar [00:47:55]:
Yes.
Phillip [00:47:55]:
Yes, I did see this, but you.
Anatoliy [00:47:58]:
Weren'T conscious for it, but it's fine.
Phillip [00:47:59]:
No, probably not. So, yeah, I definitely have known when I was driving around with Mike, showing him houses and asking, like, okay, I've always liked this. I like beautiful things, but maybe the reason why I like beautiful things or the reason why or how I'm looking at the houses is definitely not the right way in order for me to get these things or my attachment to them. So I remember I was with somebody probably a year or two ago, a girl, and I started to like her, and without me thinking about anything, I started to think about a house, and I started to think about those other things, because if I'm by myself, I don't think about those things naturally. So I guess if I don't have somebody else involved, like a loved one or friends or a reason to upgrade and do something, there's no real reason for me to do it. So, yeah, I might be comfortable in my apartment, but it's probably appropriate for where I'm at now and my mindset, until I maybe change my mindset and I'm open to something else. So that's why I was asking, when you have your house, you seem like you like to share your experiences through food, and then if you'd be more prone to clean during that, it would be a nice byproduct of maybe having people over more, and your house would be even cleaner without you thinking about having to clean.
Eldar [00:49:08]:
But it's more complicated than that, though, okay. Because inviting people over induces very specific anxiety.
Phillip [00:49:13]:
Got it. So we're trying to figure out before.
Eldar [00:49:18]:
That'S why he has to be honest with the way he describes the new things that he does and why he does them. You know what I mean? Okay. Really honest about what he actually likes, what actually causes him pain, and what actually doesn't. And only then we can put them against all the things that he's doing and then use a process of elimination in order to get to. Okay, cool. This is the stuff that's going to get you closer to the actual goal that you want to do, which is ultimately, it's going to be a self actualization. Got it. Okay.
Eldar [00:49:47]:
Right? Yeah. All right. So, any more questions? You are the loss of words.
Phillip [00:49:57]:
No, I mean, I'd like to know what to do.
Eldar [00:50:02]:
Okay.
Anatoliy [00:50:03]:
Do nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Eldar [00:50:07]:
I think that if you want to do something, if you want to do something, you probably have to start writing down, actually seeing what it is that you like and what it is that you actually don't like. What things serve you, what things don't serve you. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I guess it's also like before piling anything, removing anything. Yeah.
Phillip [00:50:26]:
The confusion comes or just like things that happen is that sometimes it's not a matter of what I like and what I don't like.
Eldar [00:50:35]:
It's definitely how exactly? Engage. How I engage with it. Correct.
Phillip [00:50:40]:
I enjoy playing video games.
Eldar [00:50:42]:
I do.
Phillip [00:50:43]:
I don't enjoy playing video games. When then in the back of my mind there's, for example, things that I neglected because, for example, I'm doing it.
Eldar [00:50:51]:
Correct.
Phillip [00:50:51]:
But then I don't enjoy video games.
Eldar [00:50:52]:
Correct.
Phillip [00:50:53]:
Then I feel guilty, I feel shitty, I feel bad.
Eldar [00:50:58]:
Correct.
Phillip [00:50:58]:
All that. Right.
Eldar [00:51:00]:
So the byproduct of video games is not serving you. There's the moment of a video game. Yes. And then there's a byproduct. This happens in everything. Yes. Right. Yes.
Eldar [00:51:11]:
You are enjoying right now the anticipation that tonight is the game. Yes or no?
Phillip [00:51:16]:
If I think about it, yeah.
Eldar [00:51:17]:
You do enjoy it. Right. But you don't enjoy the process of what's happening during a game. Correct. And then you don't like what happens after. Yeah. See that? Yeah. So this is a different thing.
Eldar [00:51:28]:
It gives you three different options. Right. The anticipation was cool, nice. The participation was bad and the after effect was bad as well. Games did not do that. Games, there's no real anticipation. I don't think. Maybe there is.
Eldar [00:51:39]:
I don't know. Yeah. The game playing is actually good, but the end result is not if done in particular ways. Okay. Now check out the chores of the house. Okay. Anticipation of doing chores in the house. Bad.
Eldar [00:51:54]:
Right. Doing it. Good, result is good. Correct. Yeah. Two back end is freeing. Peace of mind. Yes.
Eldar [00:52:04]:
You understand? And the moment is good. Yes. What outweighs what in the example of basketball, for example, which then leads to bad. Bad versus what?
Phillip [00:52:12]:
I'm sorry, say it again.
Eldar [00:52:14]:
What outweighs, what outweighs basketball or cleaning your house?
Anatoliy [00:52:19]:
Basketball is two negatives.
Eldar [00:52:22]:
During and after it's clearly. Right. Clear. Because then you can't. Yeah. So same thing with video games. What outweighs. So until you actually have a list of this stuff to see whether or not it's good or not like that.
Eldar [00:52:35]:
Really watch it. I don't see how you can make any kind of list. You have to first identify what the current list. Have.
Phillip [00:52:48]:
Okay, so what? Make a list of the current. All the things I currently do.
Eldar [00:52:52]:
Yeah.
Phillip [00:52:53]:
And then what are my current feelings with those things?
Eldar [00:52:58]:
Well, not current feelings, but what you actually get out of them. Right. Like, you sat here on Friday and you were very honest and said, yo, I'm angry. You know what I'm saying? I'm upset myself. If that's not a good reason for elimination, then you're a sick person.
Phillip [00:53:13]:
No, 100%.
Eldar [00:53:14]:
You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
Phillip [00:53:17]:
That's probably a better place for you to start, is instead of thinking with the things that you like, you were able to be honest whether you thought about it or not, about something that you didn't. I think without you sitting down and writing a list, I think it's just a matter of putting a reminder on your phone, maybe every couple of hours, and just be like, was there anything that I didn't enjoy? Just like, something like that. I think it would be a lot easier for you in the state now to probably find stuff that you don't like because you seem more bothered than more happy on certain things. So I think it's going to be easier for you to bring those to the surface.
Eldar [00:53:47]:
I agree.
Phillip [00:53:48]:
Then when you have conversations with us, you can hit more of those honesty points, and then you can have the conversation with all of us. But for right now, trying to think of what you like in the state that you're in, I don't think you're going to find that unless you eliminate all the shit and you're honest with yourself about that.
Eldar [00:54:01]:
And most of the things that he's going to talk about that he likes is actually just attachments. And he's clinging on to something.
Phillip [00:54:06]:
Yeah, we're not going to, and we're not going to know.
Eldar [00:54:07]:
Correct. He's. He's going to talk about them in such a way to trick us.
Phillip [00:54:12]:
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's definitely hard.
Eldar [00:54:16]:
And, like, that's why I'm telling you it's not an easy fucking task to say, you know what? Let's just make a list.
Phillip [00:54:23]:
No, and I wasn't just saying, okay.
Eldar [00:54:27]:
We have to get down. What we did about basketball, tonight's game, what we did. You showed us what's actually going on behind it. You showed Philip that you have huge attachments to your old identity. Proving people wrong or proving yourself right, boosting your ego or your pride. Like, you showed that to us. That to us is, like, clear as day.
Phillip [00:54:49]:
But we can't do that for other examples, unless you have that type of statement for each individual thing, whether it be cooking, video games, relationships, I can.
Phillip [00:54:57]:
Only do my best. That again, is what I was saying. Is that the only way to verify your current, I guess, current present moment testimony on things is if that does or does not line up with your future.
Eldar [00:55:19]:
Forget about the future.
Anatoliy [00:55:21]:
I don't think you may be able to fake like, oh, I like this, don't like this. I mean, you may be able to fake that you do like something, but I don't think you can fake that. You don't like say, oh, yeah, I really hate fucking. I don't know.
Eldar [00:55:33]:
Yeah, you cannot.
Anatoliy [00:55:34]:
Yeah, you can't fake it, but you can fake that I really like ice cream.
Eldar [00:55:37]:
Correct.
Anatoliy [00:55:37]:
You cannot fake the opposite.
Eldar [00:55:39]:
Correct.
Anatoliy [00:55:39]:
That's where the honesty will be. It will automatically come out.
Eldar [00:55:42]:
Mike is correct. Yeah. And why are you looking into the future? That doesn't matter. You have to look at your current affairs.
Phillip [00:55:49]:
No, I know, but I'm just saying the future, as in not those future things. I'm saying more in if your short term actions align with your.
Eldar [00:56:00]:
Large, you.
Phillip [00:56:01]:
Could definitely put them your large goals.
Anatoliy [00:56:04]:
But you have to also then uncover your goals if they're actually rooted in the truth. Goals also could be shit. Might be based on bullshit.
Eldar [00:56:12]:
Yeah. It's very simple for us to feel after the games. I feel angry. That's as clear as day. That's a very easy process.
Anatoliy [00:56:21]:
Very easy to find out.
Eldar [00:56:22]:
Yeah.
Anatoliy [00:56:23]:
You don't have to be honest there. The honesty is automatically spews.
Eldar [00:56:27]:
Correct. Yeah, do that. First where are you angry? Where are you angry? Then? Where are you frustrated? Where are you confused? Where are you dissatisfied? Where are you neutral?
Phillip [00:56:43]:
Yeah. I am most angry when I have the realization that I have grown some vines on that subject, that I'm angry about that, to me, infuriates me.
Eldar [00:56:55]:
So anything resulting, like video games then, should be the worst thing for you.
Phillip [00:56:59]:
Well, no, anything, no.
Eldar [00:57:01]:
But anything that contributes to growing on the vines.
Phillip [00:57:04]:
No growing on the vines in that particular subject. Once I make that realization, they're like, yo, I have allowed things to get to a point where there are now grown vines. That feeling to me is terrible.
Eldar [00:57:18]:
Well, yeah, that's why you need a process of elimination. Give us an example.
Phillip [00:57:23]:
He made the example.
Eldar [00:57:24]:
Well, he did. I'll play too much video games and I have a pile of dishes.
Phillip [00:57:26]:
But playing the video game is not really the problem. It's thinking about the not doing the thing during the game. So you're really not enjoying the game. You're anticipating doing the other thing, but why the hell aren't you doing the other thing? So you're understanding that the other thing is important, and you're realizing in the moment this is causing you pain, but you're still sitting down playing the video game, and then afterwards you'd feel like total shit. So there's something that you're not connecting emotionally, where you're not maybe being honest with yourself and you're just allowing this to kind of be like a perpetual thing where you're just sitting down, you're playing the game, you're talking to us, and you're saying you can actually convey and communicate, okay, I don't feel good during this actual thing. During and after. And Elder made the point, if you're cleaning during and after, you feel great. So if you're a logical guy, you're going to say two versus one good things.
Phillip [00:58:13]:
And I remember specifically able to do that.
Phillip [00:58:16]:
I remember specifically, I think this was about a month ago now. I actually took off the next day of, this was the day before I took off that one day of work.
Eldar [00:58:26]:
Where I was just like, I had.
Phillip [00:58:27]:
Pains in my mouth and I was just like, all kinds of a shot, right. But I remember that day, I think it was a Sunday, and I definitely did, like, an over amount of work that day.
Eldar [00:58:43]:
Right.
Phillip [00:58:43]:
But afterwards I took a shower and I felt, like, sore. But I felt, like a good sore. I felt, like, accomplished. Accomplished. And I remember just feeling like I put on this white shirt and just.
Eldar [00:58:56]:
Like, I don't know, shorts.
Phillip [00:58:57]:
And it was like I took a shower. And afterwards I almost felt like what I did was actually not like I took a toll on my body, but I almost felt like I wanted, like a refreshment, like chamber. And sometimes, for example, this morning I showered. I just showered, obviously to be clean, stuff like that. But I didn't feel refreshed after it. I just felt like I just showered. I remember that day, I did all that stuff. I definitely made some realizations into what kind of shape you need to be to go about these things in a certain way.
Phillip [00:59:37]:
Right. And I remember when I took that shower afterwards and I changed. I felt so good. And then I went to go play video games and I just felt it was appropriate. My experience was like, this was a great video game day.
Eldar [00:59:54]:
Yeah. Because overall secondary. Yeah.
Phillip [00:59:57]:
I felt like it was like, okay, now I can relax.
Eldar [01:00:00]:
Okay.
Phillip [01:00:00]:
But why that day? Why did you.
Phillip [01:00:03]:
Amazing.
Eldar [01:00:04]:
Correct.
Phillip [01:00:04]:
But why did you clean that day? What made you clean that day?
Phillip [01:00:08]:
Well, because I decided not to hire somebody to do, like, a spring cleaning at my house. And my whole yard was dirty, front and back, overgrown grass, all kinds of stuff.
Phillip [01:00:19]:
But you've had this pretty common, though. So why that day did you do it? So you didn't hire those people. So did you say, like, okay, now the responsibility is fully on me, where you usually.
Phillip [01:00:29]:
Yeah, I wanted to be responsible for doing that. And I felt that, yeah, I could pay somebody each month to do it and probably be a lot easier. Right. I'm not in a very good shape at that time, I wasn't in very good shape.
Eldar [01:00:46]:
I was.
Phillip [01:00:49]:
Doing all that. And that definitely would have been easier in just throwing some money at it. But I wanted to be the person responsible for it, and I wanted to make an effort to not hire anybody. I wanted to do it myself.
Phillip [01:01:04]:
But aren't you saying now that you're having a problem doing it, so wouldn't it be logical to say, like, unless you didn't have the money, which it seems like you do, wouldn't it make sense to just sub this out to somebody else so then you don't have.
Eldar [01:01:14]:
To worry about it?
Phillip [01:01:15]:
Well, no, when I do it, I.
Eldar [01:01:17]:
Actually do enjoy it.
Phillip [01:01:18]:
So the actual process of cleaning, you do actually enjoy.
Phillip [01:01:21]:
No. For example, in this lawn stuff and stuff like that, once I get into it, I actually do enjoy it. And I enjoy the action of doing it and I enjoy the after effects of it. I enjoy walking outside and be like, wow, look at everything is nicely done. And that. I went with the weed whacker and I did all parts manually myself. And then I did also stuff with the lawn mower, also myself. And then also, for example, my family are very, I don't know, like hermit crab.
Phillip [01:01:54]:
Like, they don't do anything right. And now they've been also talking about, like, hey, why don't we come over? We could do this and that. And then it also contributes, for example, my family and I'm hanging out, and they'll spend time outside, and they'll also guess, in a way, enjoy themselves. They'll do things at my house that they don't even maintain and keep up at their own house.
Eldar [01:02:16]:
Yes.
Phillip [01:02:16]:
So you just described. So you went back to the basketball. This is a basketball example. So that's why I asked you about the gardening and the outside stuff, all the things that you just described. When you started to talk about them, you didn't have any passion about them, and you were talking about why you did it. And then it's when your family comes over, then they can see it. So to me, when you describe this versus cooking, there's a totally different tone of how you talk about it.
Phillip [01:02:39]:
Well, no, my family can see it. They participate in.
Phillip [01:02:45]:
Why do you like it, though? What makes you like the process of doing that versus cooking? Why do you like gardening? Is there anything that you find that.
Phillip [01:02:54]:
I definitely don't enjoy it. I'm not very good at physically planting things. I haven't done enough of that. But I enjoy the time, spending time outside, getting the fresh air, and then I enjoy the part of it that I am working on my own things. Like, this is my stuff, and I am. I am the one that's doing it, and I'm the one that's.
Eldar [01:03:21]:
Taking care.
Phillip [01:03:21]:
Of care of it. And then I watch certain things grow and how certain things look, and then how there's all those different parts about it that I get recurring happiness from it.
Eldar [01:03:37]:
Recurring happiness. Wow. You don't believe them? I don't believe you on that.
Phillip [01:03:42]:
I'm making similar associations with how you talked about basketball. I don't see that you're personally invested in it. It seems like something maybe you think that you have to do because you have the house. And I don't think it's a bad thing to say, like, hey, if I have somebody here to take care of this, it can still be beautiful. You can still get all the benefits, and then you can actually do things that you want to do, which would maybe be cooking, play video games, go hang out with your friends.
Phillip [01:04:08]:
But I had all of last year, I paid someone to do it, and I never noticed anything ever that was anything that was done. I never knew. I never even appreciate it.
Eldar [01:04:22]:
Well, he didn't take ownership, right? When you start taking ownership of shit, you start feeling different, interesting. You know what I mean?
Phillip [01:04:30]:
I didn't notice whether, like, oh, did they cut the grass this week? I didn't even see the grass.
Phillip [01:04:35]:
But you're saying that these things are important to you. Why? Because when you have family over, you like for them to see it or when you come home, you want to see it.
Phillip [01:04:44]:
No, the family thing. And seeing it has nothing to do with it. So why do you. I'm saying the family component is that they want to spend time with me.
Eldar [01:04:53]:
Right. That's.
Phillip [01:04:56]:
They're just in general desires out when you have kids. And my sister is all caught up in all kinds of things, so it's like spending time with her is not really relevant right now because she doesn't want to spend time with the family. She wants to go do her thing, and she's in and out of the house. Come home late, leave early. That's it. She has no time, right? So when it comes to me, it's like, okay, they want to hang out with me, but I'm like, okay, well, I'm going to be working on this. And then they're like, okay, you want us to come over? And I'm like, okay, sure. And then naturally, these are things I'm working on.
Phillip [01:05:31]:
And now, for example, my family spends no time outside, doesn't do anything. Now, next thing you know, we're outside all day. Everyone's, like, in the sun, right? And then, for example, my mom has.
Eldar [01:05:46]:
An issue falling asleep, right?
Phillip [01:05:49]:
And then the next day, we'll talk, and she'll be like. She's saying Russian, like, oh, yeah, push.
Eldar [01:05:54]:
A bull of Vatsky. Yeah, right?
Phillip [01:05:56]:
Which is like, how would you like a Ukrainian?
Anatoliy [01:05:58]:
Ukrainian word?
Eldar [01:06:01]:
Yeah. It's like she turned off completely.
Phillip [01:06:03]:
Yeah, I had a power outage, almost like, I took out the cord. She was like, yeah, I passed out. Right. Well, why they don't investigate in themselves in terms of why can't they sleep, why they have a hard time or stuff like that. We just spent the whole day outside. We just did a bunch of things that they definitely helped me with, but they also enjoyed themselves in the process. And then I'm not sitting here begging for them to come help me. And they're like, no.
Phillip [01:06:29]:
And I'm like, no, come on, I really need you. No, I'm not pulling teeth with. Sometimes I'll ask for something, and my dad's like, no, I'm tired.
Eldar [01:06:36]:
I'm like, okay, that's it.
Phillip [01:06:38]:
Then we don't talk for a bit. He's just caught up in his own stuff. And then he hits me of wanting to like, hey, maybe we don't do this or that, right?
Phillip [01:06:46]:
So it could be like, you like it as, like, a group activity where it can bring your family together almost.
Phillip [01:06:52]:
I like it for myself, and I enjoy doing it, but then also, it just naturally brings out, for example, more benefits. More benefits. Like, it's like free extras. Because now not only do they help me, which physically helps me do what I want to do, but they also are feeling happy about it. And then they're like, every time, for example, my grandma comes to my house, she always makes the same comment. She's like, I just love coming here. The aura here is different than our house. She'll say that every time.
Phillip [01:07:24]:
So what's the disconnect? So there's an anticipation that you don't like because the anticipation for video games is awesome. Right. So the anticipation for cleaning and the gardening and stuff is not there.
Phillip [01:07:34]:
In certain ways I go about it, yes.
Eldar [01:07:37]:
Okay. Most of the time because everything is neglected. He neglected it for a very long time. So the pile that he needs to shovel out now is a lot bigger than 20 minutes or an hour. It has to be 4 hours, maybe half a day or maybe even a full day. So that alone is definitely.
Anatoliy [01:07:55]:
It's overwhelming.
Eldar [01:07:56]:
It's overwhelming.
Phillip [01:07:56]:
So he's not looking at it as like small little things. There's so much because it got piled on so long.
Eldar [01:08:02]:
Correct.
Phillip [01:08:02]:
So you're saying that if he puts in the time now, eventually he can look at it in little like 20 minutes, 30 minutes.
Eldar [01:08:09]:
Well, if he has a grip on it, where he actually serves him throughout his whole week, then yeah. It's like little small increments of maintenance, which he will enjoy and it will come effortlessly to him. He will actually be serving himself. And then the video gaming comes afterwards in a way of relaxation, like he said. You know what I mean? An accomplishment like, okay, now I can treat myself to video games because I actually don't have anything behind giving me a guilt trip. Those vines that he talks about.
Phillip [01:08:39]:
Yeah, see, I think that all those examples are right, but we're trying to figure out if it specifically makes sense for Tolle. And I'm still not sold on if he subs it out financially to get peace of mind. There might be other things.
Eldar [01:08:51]:
Because I agree.
Phillip [01:08:52]:
What we're talking about right now is we're saying let's eliminate all the stuff that I don't like.
Eldar [01:08:56]:
Correct.
Phillip [01:08:56]:
Right. He's saying something that he's saying he's liking and I'm questioning the tone because I don't know enough.
Eldar [01:09:02]:
Yeah, but we ultimately can only go off of what his testimony is.
Phillip [01:09:06]:
Okay, so I know what I'm saying.
Eldar [01:09:09]:
We can can be skeptical, but we have to go off of what he gives us.
Phillip [01:09:12]:
Okay, so in that example, he's saying that he likes this, he doesn't want to sub it out. So then it's only like, okay, time will tell. After a couple of weeks, only time will tell. You're going to be doing this.
Eldar [01:09:20]:
Agreed.
Phillip [01:09:21]:
Okay, great. What I'm saying with tone is because when he was honest about what he didn't like, that came through. We had a universal moment of truth where we all agreed.
Eldar [01:09:31]:
Yes.
Phillip [01:09:31]:
So what I'm saying is if we can deduce that from how he spoke in that realm about something he didn't. Like, I'm saying when he's saying something he does, like I'm saying bullshit on that because I don't think that he does in that moment based off of how he's talking.
Eldar [01:09:44]:
No, for sure.
Phillip [01:09:45]:
So we're trying to get to the bottom of it without him having to spend multiple weeks or months doing this.
Eldar [01:09:51]:
He would have to then tell you more about his maybe then long term goals, about who he wants to be and how he sees himself as being as a person that serves himself and is happy. And part of buying a house was one of those things where he wanted to actualize himself in this space, where he wanted to take care of something, he wanted to be on point, he wanted to learn how to do things, be like a small handyman, you know what I mean? And stuff like that. Okay. That was part of his plan, which is coming two years later, but nonetheless, it's slowly coming, okay? Right. And now he's having these testimonies where it's like, oh, okay, it is serving me and I really like it. I'd like to do more of it.
Phillip [01:10:27]:
So the anticipation could be attached to, like you said, because he's been putting it off so long. So let's say he does catch up and he's ready to go. The anticipation would be good, the process would be good, and then the after would be good.
Eldar [01:10:38]:
Correct.
Phillip [01:10:38]:
So there is a potential for all three of these things to line up.
Eldar [01:10:42]:
That's the ideal thing.
Phillip [01:10:43]:
And then video games can be a thing, like a byproduct of him just enjoying them afterwards when he takes a shower and he feels refreshed, maybe basketball, he can just maybe dive into at zero expectation level after he does all these things. So then there's the video games and the basketball and watching tv or whatever. It's all like after doing the thing that's going to serve me correctly.
Eldar [01:11:04]:
Correct. And when you become the person who actually has been served for a very long time, you naturally fill your cup up, right. So you know that you're happy and you know now, which makes you happy. So you naturally gravitate towards doing more things that make you happy and staying away from things that are not going to make you happy. So if he goes back into watching tv, sports and stuff like that, or playing video games or doing basketball, the things that make him angry, he will be sensitive enough at that point to be able to say, you know what, I'm staying away from it. And he's naturally going to drop those things.
Phillip [01:11:34]:
Yeah.
Eldar [01:11:34]:
Okay. But right now it's all mumbo jumbo in his brain. He's like, he doesn't know what makes him happy, what doesn't make him unhappy until he actually sits down and is very honest with us and himself during these types of sessions.
Phillip [01:11:46]:
Yeah.
Eldar [01:11:47]:
Otherwise it's just a cat and mouse game in his own head. He can't figure it out.
Phillip [01:11:51]:
No, I get that. I think the easiest way to kind of figure it out is like, what's your level of participation in the thing? So my example would be like, I was watching a lot of tv and movies and I was allowing myself to be like, oh, I'm inspired by this. I love this. And I actually almost like. Or I did. I got into that industry at, like, a production and talent management level. I liked it that much. Or I thought I did.
Phillip [01:12:13]:
And I was dating somebody at the time, and she's like, you're consuming a lot of this, but what are you doing with it? And at the time, I wasn't doing anything. I was saying, oh, I'm inspired by this. I like this. I like to have conversations about it. But I realized unless you're actually being really creative and you're putting yourself into it, it's a very empty experience. So video games can be very empty. Watching tv, watching sports, all these things. So Tolley's example of, yeah, if you're gardening or cooking or you're the one that's like the vessel and actually moving and doing action, I think we should separate whatever actions those are, and then whatever actions, you're just sitting back and doing nothing.
Phillip [01:12:48]:
Somebody else created that video game. You can maybe create the character within it, but that's how they hook you, essentially. Right. They want you to be participants in this thing.
Eldar [01:12:56]:
Of course.
Phillip [01:12:56]:
So I think that you can like this thing. And maybe he actually does, but he just said it doesn't give him the same satisfaction as going out and gardening or doing something else where he's the participant. So I think the participant versus just the consumer. That, to me, would be an easy just association of, like, all right, when.
Eldar [01:13:14]:
You make your list, let's say creator and a consumer.
Phillip [01:13:16]:
Creative and consumer.
Eldar [01:13:17]:
Creator.
Phillip [01:13:18]:
Yeah, creator. Yeah. So if you're not the creator in this situation, I think that would be a really good indicator of saying, I'm probably going to set myself up for disaster.
Eldar [01:13:26]:
I agree with you 100%. Yeah. And he has the canvas that he can paint, but he's not painting.
Phillip [01:13:33]:
No, definitely not. And he knows the difference and he's explaining it to us.
Eldar [01:13:37]:
Right? Well, yeah. It's like LeBron James is not going to pay your rent at the end of the day, right. You know what I'm saying? You can buy his shoes, you can root for him and all this other stuff and invest all this emotions on him. But at the end of the day, what is it going to get? You're not going to be a basketball player. You're not going to be a commentator making $15 million a year. You're not doing shit. All you're doing is arguing, probably with your family and your friends about it. And then what?
Phillip [01:13:59]:
So this is what it's for. It's good for after everything else is done.
Eldar [01:14:02]:
Correct.
Phillip [01:14:03]:
At the end of your day, correct. You listen, entertainment, and then me and you maybe talk about it for five minutes, text back and forth, and then once it's done, then it's back to business, talking about relationships, family, and the.
Eldar [01:14:12]:
Stuff that you never find yourself buying LeBron James shoes and you don't get.
Phillip [01:14:15]:
That's your level of attachment to these things.
Eldar [01:14:17]:
Correct.
Phillip [01:14:18]:
And ours is next to nothing.
Eldar [01:14:19]:
Correct.
Phillip [01:14:20]:
We're just talking about.
Eldar [01:14:21]:
No, we're trying to. Damn. Keep it humble.
Phillip [01:14:25]:
Holy shit, they're there.
Eldar [01:14:26]:
Ours is next to nothing. You hear this?
Anatoliy [01:14:29]:
He's ambitious, bro.
Eldar [01:14:30]:
Holy shit, Phil, how can you say that and not be ashamed of yourself? No level of humility. Did you see it?
Phillip [01:14:36]:
I like basketball.
Eldar [01:14:37]:
Ours is next to nothing.
Phillip [01:14:41]:
If you told me right now, because we're saying consumer versus creator, if you told me right now I couldn't watch DNB finals, I'd be like, oh, you know, like, I would be disappointed. I would like to go home and watch it. But it's such an easy thing to turn on your iPad or television and just consume something. It's very easy. Then if you told me, like, all right, you have the opportunity to go out side and go for a night swim from seven to eight, you can bring your music. Nobody's going to be out there. It's just going to be you in nature doing that. It takes a little bit more effort.
Phillip [01:15:08]:
Maybe I'm cold. Maybe I got to go upstairs, take a quick, warm shower, and then I got to eat, and I got to prepare more food and be a little bit more organized. But when I'm done, I get a great sleep and I feel awesome. That took a little more effort. But I'm the creator. I'm holding the keys to this thing.
Eldar [01:15:23]:
That's right.
Phillip [01:15:24]:
So when there's a little more pressure, I think the anticipation is like, there's that resistance. I think it's called the war of art. Did you ever hear this book, Art of war is Sun Tzu? Then there's the war of art, and it speaks about resistance, and the resistance is like that thing inside of you that it's pushing against your natural desires, and it's almost questioning you or giving you a hurdle to say, like, hey, if you really want to do this, you got to overcome whatever this little barrier is. But once you get there, you're going to be swimming in just beauty and perfection. So to me, anytime there's something that's worthwhile, there's a little bit of a blip or a little bit of a hurdle, because it involves me, and it's maybe your brain playing a trick on you. I don't know it from maybe that level, but resistance to me is anytime I'm the creator and I'm ready to do something, even if it's a wall walk, going to the city, I know I want to do it, but, yeah, there's part of me that, yeah, maybe there's a little effort involved. I have to take a shower. Maybe I have to clean up, shave, do something, clean my clothes.
Phillip [01:16:25]:
But once I do all these things, I go on the walk, during it, it's awesome. After, it's awesome. So, to me, the anticipation for anything that you're the creator in any writer that will tell you this, an actor, like, to get into state or to prepare for these type of things, there might be that doubt that creeps in your head.
Eldar [01:16:40]:
I do still think that you can solve that one, too. You think so?
Phillip [01:16:43]:
100%. I'd be open to talking about that, because I have that one.
Eldar [01:16:48]:
You have the right of the block.
Phillip [01:16:50]:
Yeah, for sure. And a lot of things that I.
Anatoliy [01:16:52]:
But after you talk about it, you might cancel the city trips.
Eldar [01:16:55]:
Oh, my God. Would you be okay with that?
Anatoliy [01:16:57]:
You're okay with that or not?
Phillip [01:16:58]:
See the thing?
Eldar [01:16:59]:
Cover it.
Phillip [01:17:00]:
See, the thing is, I enjoy moving.
Anatoliy [01:17:07]:
You think you enjoy moving?
Eldar [01:17:09]:
I try to bully him.
Phillip [01:17:10]:
No, these. I know when you said, like, oh, stand up death, not stand up deaths. There's certain things that I know about myself I would never sit.
Anatoliy [01:17:19]:
That. You remember this when he finally says, actually, I don't.
Eldar [01:17:21]:
Yeah.
Anatoliy [01:17:22]:
Remember the day you put on the board?
Eldar [01:17:23]:
Now these things are guaranteed lock.
Anatoliy [01:17:26]:
Stand up.
Phillip [01:17:27]:
That's 100%. I know. Walking and moving versus sitting down on the couch and doing nothing. 100% difference.
Anatoliy [01:17:34]:
Not saying sitting down on the couch. I'm saying you actually don't like walking. And all these New York City things, the moving stuff, it's dead. You don't like it?
Phillip [01:17:42]:
No. Moving, I definitely need to do. I think it's one of those things.
Anatoliy [01:17:46]:
For me now we're getting somewhere. Like it versus. You need to.
Eldar [01:17:49]:
Okay.
Phillip [01:17:50]:
You can say to me, okay, where we're walking, you can say if I'm walking just by me, do I have to go to the city? No, but I like walking. So I like waking up early and I like the walking. So for me, my conversation to myself was, I was telling you I don't like to go to the gym. So it was a type of workout. So now that I have swimming available to me, I actually enjoy swimming. So me going to the gym and lifting weights and all that, I realized I don't, and I kept lying to myself. I still have my clothes up there. For the last couple of months that I know I was going to go to the gym with, I still haven't wore them because I haven't gone to the gym yet.
Eldar [01:18:24]:
Are they brand New?
Phillip [01:18:25]:
Not even brand new. It's just I cleaned them and I made them specifically there to go lift weights and go to the gym once per week.
Eldar [01:18:31]:
Wow.
Phillip [01:18:31]:
And I can't find myself to go do it.
Eldar [01:18:33]:
And now you put them in the.
Phillip [01:18:34]:
Shrine, and now they're just sitting there. But for whatever reason, I can still find the energy and I enjoy it. To go walking, whether it's the city or just by me. And I like walking with you guys. Like, I look forward to that every day. And swimming. I 100% I enjoy that. It's not really something that I have to be forcing myself to do.
Phillip [01:18:54]:
And even if there's that little anticipation of, like, I don't know if I want to do it or not, I always follow through on these things. Saturdays have been super consistent for me. Maybe, like, the last two years. Maybe I didn't go four or five times. So I would say, like, okay, that's a good indicator for me to realize on Saturdays, it's my own personal time. Why am I waking up and doing this? I actually enjoy waking up early and being outside, but would I wake up early and then go to the gym and lift weights? My answer is no. So to me, it's not about moving or not moving. It's a matter of what type of moving that I'm doing, and I wouldn't go to the gym and walking to make sense.
Anatoliy [01:19:32]:
All right, we'll see.
Phillip [01:19:34]:
Yeah.
Eldar [01:19:35]:
Damn.
Phillip [01:19:35]:
I know Mike's after you, dude. Yeah. Mike doesn't think I enjoy walking and the time, but I definitely realize that while I'm walking, and then after, it's.
Anatoliy [01:19:48]:
Like, no, I definitely think you do enjoy it, but once you actually understand what it's rooted in, you're going to stop enjoying it.
Phillip [01:19:55]:
In terms of what? Having to keep myself moving?
Eldar [01:19:59]:
Yeah.
Anatoliy [01:19:59]:
Why? You constantly need to be on the move and your mind is constantly going, and you have crazy. You're running like a million miles an.
Eldar [01:20:05]:
Hour and your cpu is overheating. Oh, my God. Yeah.
Phillip [01:20:09]:
I mean, cpu is a computer if it's attached. So you're saying it's attached to how my thoughts are running naturally. And you're saying I wouldn't have to do it as much or as often to get.
Anatoliy [01:20:21]:
You wouldn't have to do it in the way you do it, which is like a regimented routine that you're strict and you pride yourself on not missing a day in the past three years. But it depends which way you look at it. Could be, like, either a sickness or a good thing. But I think it's not coming from a good place. I don't think it's, like a good routine. You love it so much that you go.
Phillip [01:20:42]:
So you're saying it's not the exercise.
Eldar [01:20:44]:
You're not 100% sure, but you're getting a whiff.
Phillip [01:20:45]:
No, but you're saying it's not the actual walking itself. Like, I could be enjoying the walking, but it's my mindset and approach to doing it. Like, why I'm actually doing it.
Anatoliy [01:20:55]:
Yes. Underlying reason why you're trying to constantly stay in movement, in motion and running.
Phillip [01:21:01]:
Yeah. I'd be willing to explore like that because I don't give that enough thought. But I know the walking itself, I do. Like, so it's basically my attachment and my why of why I'm doing it.
Eldar [01:21:12]:
Yeah.
Phillip [01:21:13]:
Okay.
Eldar [01:21:13]:
I get that. Well, I think it's the same question you were asking. Totally. Yeah.
Phillip [01:21:17]:
Like, why?
Eldar [01:21:18]:
Okay. In the first place, and without going into the history of it, why did you probably have to go for years back, right. When you started this. Right.
Phillip [01:21:28]:
It actually instantly came to me, actually.
Eldar [01:21:30]:
Oh, there you go.
Phillip [01:21:30]:
Yeah. If I just allow myself to do nothing and not have plans on a Saturday, I'm more prone to just sit down and do nothing. When I was watching television.
Eldar [01:21:40]:
What does that mean, do nothing? Like, you just.
Phillip [01:21:43]:
I was literally just like, if I didn't have plans and I wasn't starting off going to the city, I would pretty much just be like, all right, I'm just going to kind of doodle around, be in my apartment, go to my, maybe just walk around my development, maybe go get food, maybe go food shopping, maybe not. If I don't have something planned, I don't necessarily get that thing done. But what I noticed was that now that I had this on Saturday, I was waking up really early. I was walking or driving to the ferry. Once I was in motion. Then I came home, I was food shopping. I was going to get something to eat. I was going out to dinner.
Phillip [01:22:14]:
I was having fun. Then on Sunday, I would go food shopping, and my whole week would change. Opposed to if I didn't go to the city on Saturday, I would be more prone to not have my place clean, not have anything organized, not go out, be antisocial, not have food shopping. It would kind of start a seed of more laziness. So this, to me, is putting me more in motion. And it was like getting me more active started and, like getting me started. So to me, that seed of starting with the city was like, that's like.
Eldar [01:22:43]:
That guy that makes his bed in the morning. The army general.
Phillip [01:22:45]:
Right, the army general.
Anatoliy [01:22:47]:
What is he?
Eldar [01:22:48]:
He says the most important thing you do have to do is wake up and make your bed. Okay. Yeah.
Anatoliy [01:22:54]:
You clean your bed every morning?
Phillip [01:22:55]:
I don't make my bed.
Eldar [01:22:56]:
No. You know, that's feature.
Phillip [01:22:57]:
No, I know what you're saying. So he's saying the actual first action that you do in the morning, this.
Eldar [01:23:02]:
Will get you started.
Phillip [01:23:03]:
Yeah.
Eldar [01:23:03]:
Dictates Saturday morning walks for you. Is that thing. It's like it gets the week going.
Phillip [01:23:08]:
Yes, exactly. Because if I knew that I didn't have that plan, I could be walking around aimlessly and not have a purpose during the week. Now, maybe that can come to hobies and things like that, but I associate my hobby now with walking because I do it, and it puts me into that state of, like, I'm going to get walking.
Anatoliy [01:23:27]:
Would you say the walking has power over you, rather you have power over the walking?
Phillip [01:23:31]:
I have power over the walking. I'd say at this point, if it wasn't the walking, I would probably fill it with something else to give me an activity.
Phillip [01:23:40]:
But it definitely sounds like you're like a strict disciplinarian in this.
Anatoliy [01:23:48]:
Maybe he's saying you can't have a normal week.
Eldar [01:23:51]:
Yeah.
Phillip [01:23:51]:
You're definitely applying discipline to this.
Phillip [01:23:53]:
Yeah, because I was telling you, if I didn't have Saturday plans, whatever the plans would be, let's say, if it was like, me and you to go get lunch or do something when there's.
Eldar [01:24:01]:
Another get in trouble.
Phillip [01:24:03]:
I would just be sitting down, getting myself in trouble. I would be being lazy, ordering Uber Eats, just more prone to gain weight, be lazier, more depressed. And I struggle with that.
Phillip [01:24:14]:
So you put yourself in a prison?
Phillip [01:24:15]:
I put myself in a prison.
Anatoliy [01:24:17]:
Golden prison.
Phillip [01:24:18]:
You can't misbehave.
Eldar [01:24:18]:
The golden prison.
Anatoliy [01:24:19]:
Golden handcuffs.
Phillip [01:24:20]:
Oh, you're saying now is the prison.
Phillip [01:24:22]:
So the New York City trip is the jail that you put yourself into.
Eldar [01:24:26]:
In order not to get in trouble?
Phillip [01:24:27]:
In order to not get in trouble?
Eldar [01:24:29]:
No, he put himself in jail in order not to go.
Phillip [01:24:30]:
To think that. Do you think that this is a city trip?
Eldar [01:24:36]:
Tony says that the Saturday discipline, the way you put yourself, it's like it's a jail, but it's a preventative care to get into prison, which is. Right. Like you said, getting fat, lazy.
Phillip [01:24:46]:
You put on parental controls.
Eldar [01:24:48]:
Yeah.
Anatoliy [01:24:49]:
You can't order the nudie movies at night. Yeah.
Phillip [01:24:52]:
So you can't watch taxicab confessions.
Phillip [01:24:54]:
But I look at it like I recognize the problem, so I don't look at it as confessions.
Eldar [01:24:59]:
What? Yeah. In your hand all day long.
Phillip [01:25:04]:
I look at it if I recognize the problem. Right. So if I put something into place that wasn't healthy, then I would look at that as, like, putting myself in jail. But for me, I'm looking at walking and how I go about it.
Anatoliy [01:25:19]:
Healthy. If the core of it is unhealthy.
Phillip [01:25:21]:
But what's the core, though? I'm taking myself out of being lazy.
Eldar [01:25:25]:
Yeah.
Phillip [01:25:25]:
Why is lazy?
Anatoliy [01:25:27]:
The core is a sickness. But you're not fixing the sickness. You're doing something to kind of like band aid it.
Phillip [01:25:34]:
So what's an example of, if I'm telling you that on Saturdays and Sundays, if I don't have a plan to do this, that I'm going to be more prone to do xYz. And then you're saying that walking and being consistent or disciplined or whatever with walking is bad. What's an example of doing something that.
Anatoliy [01:25:51]:
Would be ask yourself why, if you are at home, that your inclination is to do those things, and then think about your belief system, your values, and your actions that are all tied to you being such a dangerous person when you're not.
Eldar [01:26:03]:
Yeah. Walking becomes almost like a pastime on purpose.
Phillip [01:26:07]:
Can you outline to us, what does it look like? A day where there's no Saturday. I told you right now, this Saturday there's no plan.
Phillip [01:26:16]:
I don't think that I could even do it anymore.
Phillip [01:26:18]:
No, but can you just imagine, what.
Phillip [01:26:21]:
Would that look like when I wasn't.
Phillip [01:26:25]:
What would this Saturday look like if you don't have any plans?
Phillip [01:26:27]:
So if I didn't have any plans, and let's say it was like Wednesday.
Eldar [01:26:29]:
First of all, before Saturday happens, he's going to have a lot of anxiety. Yeah.
Anatoliy [01:26:34]:
He makes Saturday plans on Tuesdays and Wednesday.
Phillip [01:26:40]:
There'd probably be anxiety because I knew that there's nothing to be done during the week. I have my organization. With work, I can be professional, call my clients, and I have a routine that I have. So for me, on Saturday, yes, there is probably a level of anxiety that I probably don't even think about that. I know I'm going to anticipate, let's say, a Saturday from two, three years ago. However that would look would be, I would say, okay, I wake up, I can say, okay, I can sleep in fine.
Eldar [01:27:10]:
Not fine.
Phillip [01:27:10]:
Okay, whatever. And then I would usually not be motivated to work out. I usually be more prone to just watching a tv show. If I did like that tv show or movie, I would just watch multiple episodes or multiple hours of that thing, and time would just go by, and I would basically lose my motivation from the morning. And my chances of getting up, going to dinner, and being social and meeting other people were very slim. Now, if I put it up against waking up in the morning, going for a walk, feeling good about myself, putting myself out there, I'd want to include friends. I was going with my friend, my other friend, I was going with Mike. It's causing me to then want to explore more about myself, want to exercise more, take better care of myself.
Phillip [01:27:54]:
So to me, there's less anxiety. I associate it with being healthier. Now, maybe.
Eldar [01:28:00]:
Where does anxiety go when I do this?
Phillip [01:28:03]:
Yeah, I don't think about it.
Eldar [01:28:06]:
It takes a break.
Anatoliy [01:28:07]:
So you're saying it takes a day off?
Eldar [01:28:09]:
Time out, it takes a day off, yeah, that's the day that he gives it off.
Anatoliy [01:28:15]:
You guys have an agreement?
Eldar [01:28:16]:
Yeah, 100%.
Phillip [01:28:18]:
So you guys are saying that.
Anatoliy [01:28:19]:
Can you give tally the number also?
Eldar [01:28:22]:
Wait, so you guys are saying that.
Phillip [01:28:23]:
There'S no carrying referral card, and I'll call your name at the door.
Phillip [01:28:27]:
Wait, but are you saying that I'm still carrying the anxiety when I'm on the city walk?
Eldar [01:28:30]:
No, that day it's on vacation. But one day, is it a week?
Anatoliy [01:28:36]:
It's on duty.
Phillip [01:28:38]:
Oh, so the problem is not the walk. You're saying it's just my mindset throughout the course of the actual week?
Anatoliy [01:28:42]:
Well, everything that leads up to the walk and the whole system around it.
Eldar [01:28:48]:
Is to prevent anxiety.
Anatoliy [01:28:49]:
Is to prevent anxiety.
Eldar [01:28:50]:
Yeah.
Anatoliy [01:28:51]:
Constantly staying emotion so you actually never have to slow down again. It might be somewhere in the board.
Eldar [01:28:57]:
Let's not take that away. That this is a good step towards.
Phillip [01:29:02]:
Helping yourself, doing it this way.
Eldar [01:29:05]:
So we all agree that might be good for elderism.
Phillip [01:29:09]:
But, no, there's definitely an anxiety, and there was, like, definitely a discomfort that I was sitting down and doing. Nothing is definitely worse than what I'm doing now, for sure.
Eldar [01:29:18]:
Okay, so that's why you use this to kind of combat that and do preventative care. So instead of landing in the prison, you landed in jail instead, which is not bad.
Phillip [01:29:26]:
So then the next step.
Phillip [01:29:27]:
Instead of landing in prison, you landed in jail quick.
Eldar [01:29:31]:
Yeah.
Phillip [01:29:31]:
What's the difference?
Eldar [01:29:32]:
What do you mean you don't know the difference? Jail is like a local. You go to a precinct that sits you down.
Phillip [01:29:38]:
Wooden bench.
Eldar [01:29:39]:
Yeah. Or like Bergen county jail right here in Bergen.
Phillip [01:29:42]:
Regular clothes on.
Eldar [01:29:43]:
Yeah.
Phillip [01:29:43]:
Penitentiary is like jumpsuit upstate.
Eldar [01:29:47]:
You go in there long term. Long term.
Phillip [01:29:48]:
So I got out of that, and I'm just with my regular clothes on, like in jail.
Eldar [01:29:51]:
Yeah.
Phillip [01:29:52]:
And like a holding cell.
Eldar [01:29:54]:
Yeah.
Phillip [01:29:54]:
I would definitely.
Eldar [01:29:55]:
I think that you're doing it because you haven't found a different way of doing preventative care yet.
Phillip [01:30:00]:
Yeah. The city thing, to me, is very close. I would say the same thing as that conversation we had before about your meditation or, like, your know, to shut the mind off. I think this is the same know. Use the city to shut the mind off. To not think about things or not to address those things.
Eldar [01:30:19]:
Yeah. Because I think that, Philip, if you uncover through this process of development of how to have fun and enjoy yourself and actually utilize your mind or the way you are and stuff like that in the clean, safe, but still fun ways, I think you'll gravitate more towards that rather than a perpetual cycle of discipline. Okay, but I'm not saying that you're there yet. Yes. Okay.
Phillip [01:30:42]:
So what we're saying is that the way that I'm constantly moving or constantly doing something. And I would associate that, I guess, initially, with being a good thing, because it's getting me out of a lazy state funk.
Eldar [01:30:55]:
Yeah.
Phillip [01:30:55]:
So getting me out of that funk is step one. And so we're saying step two can look like, hey, when you can be on that walk, maybe sit on a park bench and relax or write something.
Eldar [01:31:05]:
Down or, oh, you see what you said? Creation. Creation.
Phillip [01:31:08]:
So, being more of the participant.
Eldar [01:31:10]:
Yeah.
Anatoliy [01:31:10]:
He yelled at me last two weeks ago about, yo, I don't want to do stops I just want to walk.
Eldar [01:31:15]:
He yelled at me.
Phillip [01:31:15]:
Yeah, I do remember this.
Eldar [01:31:16]:
Yeah.
Phillip [01:31:17]:
I didn't yell at him.
Eldar [01:31:18]:
I was like, yo, I put my foot down.
Anatoliy [01:31:20]:
You yelled at me in the silence.
Eldar [01:31:23]:
So is this what this would look like?
Phillip [01:31:24]:
Is this an example, then? So say we are walking, me and Michael walking in the city, or whatever it may be, to take some time to relax. Say that during the course of our day.
Eldar [01:31:32]:
Well, no, but you have to have a good reason for that, right? Okay. If we discovered that you want to fall in love and you want to have more conversations with girls. Yeah. The process will look like probably stopping and maybe then exploring those things amidst those things when you're walking. So you're not just walking like a walking zombie or robot. Straight.
Phillip [01:31:54]:
Right. Mine would be this.
Eldar [01:31:56]:
You stop, you appreciate certain things. You talk to certain people. You get into conversations. Right. If you found out that you're an artist, you sit down and you draw. If you're inspired by this building or by this nature, you sit down, you're like, wow, let me doodle this thing. Right. I think that's going to get you closer to your path to happiness more than just straight walking, just to prevent your anxiety.
Phillip [01:32:18]:
I got it.
Eldar [01:32:18]:
Okay. Yeah.
Phillip [01:32:19]:
Just in general, it's probably more being more free and flowing rather than regimented and like a hard ass, but I think hard ass.
Phillip [01:32:26]:
I think the regimentation gets me, like the initial. I think the most important thing for me would be to just go to get going in the morning, and then I think it would be easier for me to then fine tune the process of being less regimented once I'm out.
Eldar [01:32:41]:
Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I don't think. You shouldn't think that you're obligated to do this. If this works for you and you're comfortable with it, yeah, it's fine. But I think as you explore and discuss more of these types of topics where you're finding that you're learning to. How to express yourself and be yourself fully and you want to immerse into that more, it's inevitable for you to take breaks in those.
Phillip [01:33:03]:
Yeah, it's inevitable. I think a huge realization in general, when talking about philosophy. And I would say that it's definitely a larger realization for people that have not dabbled with it as much. Right. That I would say the general society, they view either good or productive or healthy. They have an idea of what those actions are.
Eldar [01:33:34]:
Right.
Phillip [01:33:35]:
But when you start dabbling in philosophy, it's not just like, okay, I would say more in general society. Like, for example, walking, or let's say, just say the word exercising. Definitely good, hands down, no one's going to be like, no, exercising is bad, actually.
Eldar [01:33:54]:
Right.
Phillip [01:33:54]:
But I think when you start talking about it more in a philosophy standpoint, sometimes those things that are on the surface level look like they're good, or maybe potentially could just appear to be good, are actually not good. I think that's like a huge thing that philosophy does. There's not just inherently good things in, for example, taking a long walk every day or something like that. A lot of times it's like the intention or the attitude, the way that you walk, the way that you go about it, why you're doing it, stuff like that. All that encompasses in it being good or bad. But just looking at things on a service level, like eating healthy is just good.
Eldar [01:34:37]:
For.
Phillip [01:34:38]:
Most people would just say that it's just good. But if you're, I don't know, crazy stressed out, like punishing yourself in the process, feeling about it certain ways, disciplining yourself in certain ways, then that actually could be bad. And I think just like, thinking about that is definitely like a difficult, I think, realization.
Eldar [01:34:58]:
He's given the same thing. We're talking about his same thing with my thing, what we talked about early, the intentions. And he explained it very perfectly. It's how, it's not what, yeah.
Anatoliy [01:35:09]:
Like one, for example, quality that, for example, I think Elder has, and I think it definitely contributes to a lot towards happiness, is that he could be like, okay. He could set an intention like, okay, this is what I'm about to do, or stuff like that. Right? And then along the way, things just kind of, like, I don't know, happen or just different things come up. Someone comes over, someone says something like that. He is extremely good at not having the initial attachment to discipline himself to do something, but extremely good in pivoting and kind of being more free flowing. So instead of, I don't know, it was like the intention was to plant this rose or do something, right? And then, I don't know, someone came over and was like, elder, remember a while ago, you want to do this with the trees or something like that. Then you could go into something else. Extremely good at not having the attachment to the original thing, but kind of going with a free flow or like that and doing mean.
Phillip [01:36:13]:
Tell me if I'm wrong contributes a lot to feeling good and not having guilt or not having these kind of attachments to things.
Phillip [01:36:23]:
Oh, I think when we were talking about that with Eldor, specifically, we were talking about purpose and being attached to purpose. And I think we talked about that during a podcast of, like, I don't really know what mine is. So as I guess I'm figuring that out, I look at, like, I guess when I was doing my assessment, whether I was conscious about it or not, what I came to the conclusion of was that, like, that I didn't like the way that I was feeling anymore and I wanted to change it, right. So I wanted to change it and get out of being a lazy person and being motivated. Now what we're talking about to me is essentially fine tuning that process and asking myself, why am I really doing it? Because it comes down to purpose. So if you're not like a purpose driven person, I think you can get yourself into trouble even if there is health attached to it, whether you're, like, you're making examples, which makes sense to me, which nutrition and food. If I'm going to have to fight tooth and nail to force myself to not eat unhealthy things, quote unquote, am I putting myself in more stress than if I just allowed myself to eat some of those things every once in a while and have. And I'm seeing that right now, right.
Phillip [01:37:30]:
Like, with you guys, you're seeing me like, I'm more open with food and stuff like that. And I'm still being very healthy. I'm still exercising, and I don't feel bad about it.
Eldar [01:37:37]:
Yeah. You see, a lot of times we have, like, totally said on the surface, exercising is a good thing, but we know plenty of people who are exercise physical nuts where they're fucking just, they're so fucking fit, they're so this, but they're so anal, they're so fucking picky.
Phillip [01:37:57]:
That they're miserable as a result of.
Eldar [01:37:58]:
Correct. Yeah. So then where's the mental illness? Right. Comes in.
Phillip [01:38:02]:
It's deep.
Eldar [01:38:02]:
Where's the mental deep rooted in the.
Phillip [01:38:04]:
Mindset attached to exercise, not exercise itself, correct.
Eldar [01:38:07]:
Yeah.
Phillip [01:38:07]:
Then exercise becomes very unhealthy.
Eldar [01:38:09]:
Exercise becomes very unhealthy because you've attached yourself so much. You became so anal, all right, and angry and so angry and all this other stuff that now you eroded your mind and now you've developed the what and a result of being ignorant. Right. Like we talked about, you developed the mental illness without even knowing and assuming or attaching yourself, thinking that you're doing something healthy. That's a complete conundrum. Yeah.
Phillip [01:38:32]:
Like going to the city, like, for example, Mike is also good with free flowing stuff. For me, I associate you're going to a city, you have a specific plan, and by all means, you're going to execute that plan. Mike could have, I think, that same plan, and then he could be walking someone's like, hey, we need someone to give a german speech to these people and guide them to this hotel and translate for them. Mike will go do that, no problem. He'll just be like a tour guide at some french palace or something. But he had plans to do something else like that.
Phillip [01:39:04]:
So basically allowing yourself to be open to unexpected things, like just being more versus being like, okay, I know we have to go down this street at this time, so I want to do this, this and this.
Eldar [01:39:14]:
Yeah, I think we're talking about attachment.
Phillip [01:39:16]:
Yeah. Attachment is like the big thing. And being able to comfortably pivot in those different things allows you to have the ability, I think, the removal of attachment and then ultimately makes you be able to enjoy you with you more.
Eldar [01:39:35]:
Yeah. And I think you already subconsciously are open to this process despite of what you think maybe you're thinking like, oh, yeah, I'm very rigid or whatever. By inviting Mike, you're already introducing a virus to your system. Yeah.
Phillip [01:39:47]:
He'll bother the fuck out of you.
Eldar [01:39:49]:
Yeah. You know what I'm saying? That's a natural process. So when you stop inviting Mike, that's when we know you lost the battle and you went to prison and he's.
Phillip [01:39:58]:
Been in trouble with you.
Eldar [01:39:59]:
You said, oh, it's the beginning. Yeah.
Anatoliy [01:40:05]:
He asked me on Wednesday to make sure that we leave a certain time. That's a huge attachment, to leave a certain time, to get a certain number of things done a certain way, make sure we come early. So those specific bikes are there.
Eldar [01:40:16]:
And it's funny, Phil, because you know what? Because Mike actually, if you approach him a certain type of way, he would promote this agenda of yours on his own without you even asking him to be there. Because Mike is actually very prompt and he keeps his word. Right.
Phillip [01:40:34]:
He said that. Mike is like, yeah, Lucy goosey with time. Where we view Mike completely different, we.
Eldar [01:40:40]:
See Mike completely different.
Phillip [01:40:41]:
Well, see, with this, I'm more regimented with it now because I was telling Mike that, because now it's getting warmer out. I wanted to go earlier for that. And then I have insurance stuff that I want to do at a certain amount of time that I guess wouldn't make sense if I came home later and then I didn't do it. You know what I'm saying? So now there's a different thing where I almost have to be home at a certain time and it's not just like being neurotic about it.
Eldar [01:41:05]:
Yeah.
Phillip [01:41:05]:
You know what I'm saying? So if I don't go early and come home by eleven, if I start making calls to certain people, like clients on a Saturday at like five or 08:00 at night, or if I make it at seven or eight in the morning, it's very weird. So I picked a certain time. I know.
Eldar [01:41:18]:
Okay.
Phillip [01:41:19]:
From 12:00 to two or 03:00 on a Saturday afternoon, business owners are usually home. That's a better time for me to contact people. So now I'm building my Saturday around that. So I know if I leave my house at seven, I get home at eleven or twelve, I work.
Eldar [01:41:32]:
How about this? I'm going to throw a little stone into your process. Okay, go and do this. You're back because you want me to do it.
Anatoliy [01:41:39]:
Yeah, I do.
Eldar [01:41:40]:
How much weight does considering your friend Mike and this is important to you?
Phillip [01:41:45]:
Oh, definitely. Because I am considering. I already considered the time when he said in the beginning, he was saying, I was like, hey, I'm going at seven, whatever, o'clock. Right off the bat, I didn't even question him. I compromised off the bat and I started going at nine or 10:00 and it was fine. Ideally, I still like to go early. But then I valued that Mike was coming with me and I liked it.
Eldar [01:42:06]:
And it overweighted that.
Phillip [01:42:07]:
And it overweighted that.
Eldar [01:42:08]:
Good. Now that's it. Now we have to reevaluate.
Phillip [01:42:10]:
Now I reevaluate because we both agreed. We were both in the city and we both had a day where we realized. We went in later and we realized it was dead. We both said afternoon is dead because it's too hot out, air conditioning, bikes, like all these things we want to.
Eldar [01:42:24]:
Go mean, if you guys both compromised, I mean, not compromised, but both agreed.
Phillip [01:42:28]:
On it then, so we compromised on that. But now I think I'm going like too early for Mike. But if I go later, then by the time I get home, I probably won't have any time to do the insurance stuff and my day might make sense.
Eldar [01:42:41]:
But you see, based on the information given, there is going to be a path to where you guys both might land here. Like, what's the you?
Anatoliy [01:42:49]:
The outcome is going to be that we're going to finally switch to Sundays and we're going to have no problems.
Eldar [01:42:53]:
Or you won't go.
Anatoliy [01:42:54]:
We're not going to go at all.
Eldar [01:42:55]:
Yeah.
Phillip [01:42:56]:
So I think we could do it.
Eldar [01:42:57]:
He might be doing it by himself and you might be doing it some other day.
Phillip [01:43:00]:
So we could do this, which we did this week, which I do my thing on Saturday, and then we connect afterwards, like, after I'm done on Saturdays. Like, we can go to the pool or we can go eat or. Yeah, I mean, Sundays could be a possibility. That's what we were, rich.
Anatoliy [01:43:13]:
I definitely like exercise, like going to the city, walking around, and whatever happens, happens. I enjoy it. But there's certain things I'm not willing to do. Like, I'm not willing to wake up early. I have things I want to do. I want to walk Teddy. I want to spend some time with him before I leave, things I want to do. I'm not going to rush.
Anatoliy [01:43:27]:
Also, five minutes, ten minutes away. It's a ride. And it's also certain things I want to compromise for sure.
Phillip [01:43:36]:
So I would say, yeah, I mean, we used to.
Eldar [01:43:39]:
So there might be a compatibility issue. Yeah.
Phillip [01:43:41]:
Oh, yeah, definitely.
Eldar [01:43:41]:
All right, cool.
Anatoliy [01:43:42]:
As long as you guys are aware of it.
Phillip [01:43:44]:
Definitely. So, yeah, I think we can talk about possibly Sundays or possibly connecting after and do pool and that kind of stuff.
Eldar [01:43:55]:
You don't have to do it on. Okay, guys.
Phillip [01:43:56]:
And it's Wednesday, so you better make.
Phillip [01:43:58]:
Well, this week's dead.
Eldar [01:44:00]:
You guys are gone. Okay, so we're basically saying the walk.
Phillip [01:44:06]:
Itself is not bad. It's the attachment and the mindset towards it. And it can basically be starting throughout the week. And I can be possibly looking at my regular work routine with this mindset also. So it's something that I can.
Eldar [01:44:19]:
Well, we don't know, but we don't know. That's up to you to kind of share and explore and tell us a lot of the times what we're doing here, right. Is we making assumptions out of the observed behavior that is the person that's displaying. That's all we're doing. You know what I mean? And then that person almost has to confirm our observations. We could be wrong.
Phillip [01:44:40]:
So I'd say this. This is the example that I would have where when I was working other jobs, most recently and in the past, I would say that the Saturday, New York City was something I anticipated, I was thinking about, and it was almost taking me out of my regular work routine because I really looked forward to it. Now, I like my actual day to day work, so I don't have to be thinking about Saturday. I know it's going to come and it's going to make me happy when I do it, but I like that we get to do this thing. I like my work routine. We got dogs in the place. I just like the environment. I don't have to be like, on Monday or Tuesday being like, oh, man, Saturday.
Phillip [01:45:21]:
I can't wait till Saturday. And my mindset is like, shot. So I think I'm making definitely progress in terms of what I wanted overall, which is for my whole day to be happy. But I guess overall, my approach to waking up and being routine and regimented and saying, all right, go to sleep at a certain time versus stay up and watch tv. Recently I've been a little more kind of lax with allowing myself to watch tv, not having as much focus and discipline in the morning. But I'm realizing that I don't feel as good in the morning and it is something that there's.
Anatoliy [01:45:50]:
But that's because you're still waking up at 05:00 a.m. But you're going to sleep later because.
Phillip [01:45:54]:
I have a lot of time.
Phillip [01:45:56]:
So I noticed that, say, on a day where I do watch tv, I maybe won't wake up at five, maybe I wake up at seven and I have less time. So I don't.
Anatoliy [01:46:06]:
That gives you, like, it bothers you, right?
Phillip [01:46:08]:
It definitely bothers me.
Anatoliy [01:46:10]:
Because you have the day before, you have a list of things that you need to accomplish the next day.
Phillip [01:46:14]:
Well, I just know it's not even a list anymore. It's just kind of things. I know, like if I'm able to go for a walk in the morning, I like that. I like that I'm able to work out and then I can get insurance stuff done. And then it's like once I come here, my mind can fully be here and I like to be fully here versus thinking like, okay, I have to make x amount of dollars here, I have to put x amount of time in here to do this. And now say I was able to work out when I was working from home at 12:00 or one. Now I know if I don't do that in the morning, I'm going to have to do that at night. Now, in the winter it sucked because I didn't have the pool.
Phillip [01:46:45]:
Now I know if I don't work out in the morning, I can go home and then I can work out in the afternoon or at night and do a pool workout. And I actually like that. So I just try to maximize the time that I have that's like my own personal time. So then when I'm at work, I can just fully be present at work and be able to check enough boxes.
Eldar [01:47:03]:
To be able to go to sleep.
Phillip [01:47:04]:
At night peacefully, ideally, I guess, without actually thinking about checking boxes. I guess the way I'm putting it is, yeah. If I don't do certain amount of things, then it's harder for me to sleep at night.
Eldar [01:47:16]:
I know. Yeah.
Anatoliy [01:47:17]:
But those things, are they meaningful or are you just doing them just to check them?
Phillip [01:47:22]:
Well, I would say it's meaningful to him. When we're talking about purpose and things like that, I don't know what my purpose is. So I would say in that terms of meaningful, I would say no, because I don't know. But I would say in terms of.
Anatoliy [01:47:35]:
Weighing, would you like to find out your purpose?
Eldar [01:47:36]:
Oh, my God.
Phillip [01:47:37]:
Oh, yeah. I mean, we've talked about that.
Phillip [01:47:39]:
Why are you doing so many things?
Eldar [01:47:41]:
Yeah.
Anatoliy [01:47:42]:
If you understood that this is maybe the slogan of your life, and I'm thinking it's maybe the slogan of my life is like, to find my purpose, that I can act upon it, and then everything else I would assume would fall into place. My thing is like, how do I figure my purpose out faster?
Eldar [01:47:57]:
Yeah, sure. But you started thinking and you introduced philosophy into your life for a while now. Yeah. So you lean back on that. Yeah. If a person who's been in trouble for a very long time and he knows he gets himself in trouble, he needs a regiment routine in order to keep himself out of trouble. So that's his thing to lean back on. You know what I'm saying? So until he finds or discovers something that's going to be holding him up during the times of void, you know what I mean? It's scary to jump.
Phillip [01:48:23]:
Yeah. I was asking what's the other example exactly? Because if I know that, if I know that walking is going to take me out of being like a guy on Saturdays and Sunday, I'll tell you what plans.
Eldar [01:48:33]:
I'll tell you what it is. What is it? Yeah. I'll tell you what it is. Okay. For example, continuation of Friday talks will bleed out into the next day. So whatever you conjure, whatever it is that you're doing for yourself on Friday nights and thinking about is going to start spilling over into your next day. Okay? And that's why what happened happened on Saturday night. Remember your last Saturday? Yeah.
Eldar [01:48:59]:
This past month? Yeah. We forgot what happened Sunday night. Oh, Sunday night.
Phillip [01:49:03]:
Sunday night.
Eldar [01:49:04]:
Sunday. Yeah.
Phillip [01:49:05]:
More than the weekend.
Eldar [01:49:06]:
Yeah. That was Sunday when you guys got nutty.
Phillip [01:49:08]:
Yeah, we got nutty.
Eldar [01:49:10]:
Yeah.
Phillip [01:49:11]:
Okay, so Sunday.
Eldar [01:49:12]:
So, yeah. Those types of experiences shouldn't then start falling more and more into play because you're starting to open yourself up to those things. And naturally.
Anatoliy [01:49:21]:
Right.
Eldar [01:49:22]:
What's going to happen is when a girl puts her phone number in your phone and says, this is what we're doing, or whatever, these are the types of experiences that are going to start becoming on the forefront and more prioritized by you naturally. So if you have that to do versus a walk, something's going to give. If that thing that where it's like you about to have this crazy experience with this girl in the park on Saturday because that's when she can do it. You drop it on walk. But that'll take some time. That's my opinion. Okay. But it takes time.
Anatoliy [01:49:54]:
Slow burn.
Eldar [01:49:55]:
Yeah, no, I get it. You know what I mean?
Phillip [01:49:57]:
Yeah.
Eldar [01:49:58]:
He has to have a more of a compelling argument.
Phillip [01:50:00]:
Yeah, I guess I need a deeper reason to leave it.
Eldar [01:50:05]:
Deeper cleanse.
Phillip [01:50:06]:
Yeah, I definitely need that.
Eldar [01:50:07]:
Yeah, I think you will leave it for the right reason. Yeah, 100%.
Phillip [01:50:10]:
I can see that.
Eldar [01:50:10]:
Yeah. I mean, the attachment is strong. Yeah. But as he's talking more and thinking about his purpose, it's inevitable for him to be able to leave it. Yeah.
Phillip [01:50:17]:
Because I definitely value purpose over even like we're saying find love and things like that. I think those are ideal things. But for where I'm at now, I was telling Mike, I'm like a passionate guy and I want to be able to put that into everything that I do, whether it be relationships, work and all that stuff. I get to do it to a point with work and talking to clients. To a degree here. To a degree. And then I just want to keep that. I get satisfaction of being able to be completely myself without trying.
Eldar [01:50:48]:
Good.
Phillip [01:50:49]:
And whatever comes back at that. This is a great example because I'm not really trying to do anything.
Eldar [01:50:55]:
And it's working out.
Phillip [01:50:56]:
And it is working out.
Eldar [01:50:57]:
That's right.
Phillip [01:50:58]:
This is a more effortless approach. And then seeing a result without thinking, like, correct. Oh, I'm looking for the result in the beginning. Like I'm just sitting down enjoying the.
Eldar [01:51:05]:
And that's what I'm talking about. I'm talking about you being truly your authentic self and leaning on that as a way of not getting in trouble versus having to do what a fucking strict routine based things. And I think it's the same example what you're talking about. You want a list of things to do to make you happy. I'm telling you, you need to remove the list and do things. Very small amount of things with the right intention. So two different things here that we're talking about.
Phillip [01:51:32]:
Yeah, I don't think I have enough confidence and clarity in myself yet to then see.
Eldar [01:51:39]:
Okay, but you're getting glimpse of it. You're saying, I come here and I'm able to be myself. Right.
Phillip [01:51:43]:
Okay. So unless right now, you told me that on Saturdays, we're going to do a podcast here in the city. Then I'd be like, okay, we do.
Anatoliy [01:51:52]:
A podcast in the city.
Eldar [01:51:53]:
That's right.
Phillip [01:51:54]:
On Saturdays with me and you.
Eldar [01:51:56]:
That's right.
Anatoliy [01:51:56]:
Anywhere we go, we do podcasts. Yeah, it's inevitable.
Phillip [01:51:59]:
So I'm saying, like, Sunday, we didn't.
Anatoliy [01:52:01]:
Do a city, but we did a podcast, didn't we?
Eldar [01:52:03]:
That's right.
Phillip [01:52:03]:
With me and you just talking.
Anatoliy [01:52:04]:
And then you did the podcast extension.
Eldar [01:52:06]:
Into the night, into the actions.
Phillip [01:52:09]:
So if we don't have that, then essentially, to me, you don't want to go to prison. I'd be like, all right. To me, I'd have to do the walk. If I know that, I'd have to do something.
Eldar [01:52:20]:
For sure. Yeah. That's because he's right now reliant on, you know what I'm telling us? Turn.
Anatoliy [01:52:24]:
He doesn't know how to start his own income.
Phillip [01:52:25]:
Correct. What would I do if I knew that you couldn't come with me, right. Like, this weekend, specifically, you guys are being vacation.
Anatoliy [01:52:32]:
For example, if I was in your shoes, right, and you were me, and I'd be like, yo, actually, I'm going to go play basketball today, or I'm going to go to the gym. Instead of coming to the walk today, I was like, all right, I'm down to play basketball. I'm down to go to the gym. I'm down to lay at your pool.
Eldar [01:52:42]:
Right.
Anatoliy [01:52:43]:
That's a way we can continue what we're doing, engage together in certain activities that we like. Because maybe I can't go to the city that day because I got to go back home at a certain time and walk Teddy, right? Or I say, hey, I can't go because Teddy's alone. Let's walk around my hood with Teddy, right? So the city is now dead, but we're hanging out with Teddy.
Eldar [01:53:00]:
Right?
Anatoliy [01:53:02]:
That's the ability to kind of be like. It's not detachment to the action. It's attachment to. For me, what's more value to spending time and having conversations and hanging out versus where it's happening or what time it's happening?
Phillip [01:53:18]:
So this is like the house conversation. Like we were saying, right, when you're looking at the house, and I'm saying, okay, I like nice things. I like this neighborhood. I've liked it for a long time. Why don't I have this thing? And then you were making an example of, hey, with the house, it doesn't matter of where it is. You would live kind of anywhere as long as it was close to your friends, so you can be close to them and your family, so you can do things with them, because doing things with your friends and spending time with them, you're saying that the value system.
Anatoliy [01:53:45]:
I feel that's, to me, that's. I'm the best version of myself when we're together, when we're having conversations, we're having fun. Always the best sides come out of us. I think of everybody in general.
Phillip [01:53:55]:
And I agree with you because as we were talking last night, and I was talking to Eldar, too, that's why I was asking. I think the next topic for me is understanding the value and belief system behind this, to understand what it is and what the disconnect is. Because I'm agreeing with you in these moments and saying, yes, obviously, I see value in doing these things with you because I already changed the time that I did it in the beginning. And now I told myself, okay, I have to do certain things, and now I need to do x, y, and z. But then to pivot, it's like, why is it so hard for me to know it's the right thing in terms of spending time and valuing the friendship, which I know I do, but why is it so hard for me to, I guess, get out of the actual routine on Saturdays and say, like, oh, yeah, maybe it is Sunday. Why does my brain not naturally go to that?
Eldar [01:54:45]:
Because you conditioned it. Yeah.
Anatoliy [01:54:47]:
You have a long history of 2030 years thinking a certain way, and now I came in one weekend that's trying to blow your ship up.
Eldar [01:54:54]:
Yeah, exactly.
Anatoliy [01:54:55]:
It's not going to happen overnight. It's going to take a couple of.
Eldar [01:54:58]:
Attacks for you to attack your beliefs. Yeah. Okay.
Anatoliy [01:55:02]:
And kind of challenge them. Challenge them.
Eldar [01:55:05]:
And then you will see he's essentially calling on your reasonable side. Right. The analytical side now, to reevaluate and ask yourself, why do you do what you do? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
Phillip [01:55:17]:
Well, I mean, logically, why I'm doing what I'm doing is just on a day to day basis from Saturday, Sunday. If I'm working myself on Sunday and doing, like, ten or 15 miles of walking and biking, Saturday is my nothing day, because I am beat and I do just want to recharge and refresh for Monday. But, yeah, I would say, ultimately, are.
Anatoliy [01:55:38]:
You mentally or physically beat?
Eldar [01:55:41]:
Both. Yeah, for me, that's it. Okay. Thank you.
Phillip [01:55:44]:
Definitely both.
Eldar [01:55:45]:
Don't forget this question.
Phillip [01:55:50]:
I'd say after me and you also going out, I would feel the same also.
Anatoliy [01:55:55]:
See, but is it because we walk so much that's why you're physically beat?
Phillip [01:55:58]:
I would say so, yeah.
Anatoliy [01:55:59]:
So if we were to actually walk.
Eldar [01:56:01]:
A conversation for lunch, would you like some. A conversation for lunch?
Anatoliy [01:56:06]:
Food for thought.
Eldar [01:56:07]:
Food for thought.
Anatoliy [01:56:08]:
Instead of lunch food.
Phillip [01:56:09]:
So would you say that? Because let's say if I took the walk and I did 50% of that, I can still be getting exercise, doing what I'm doing and not having to be spent, so then a whole day doesn't have to be.
Anatoliy [01:56:21]:
The goal is not to recovery. Yeah.
Eldar [01:56:28]:
See, I told you.
Anatoliy [01:56:29]:
Tara had told me.
Eldar [01:56:30]:
What did she say?
Anatoliy [01:56:36]:
Yeah. Whoa. Okay. Tara came in hot.
Eldar [01:56:40]:
That's wisdom.
Phillip [01:56:41]:
I would say both. And especially when we're having our conversations, because we're having conversations and we're walking also, and we're doing a lot. So, yeah, I'm both mentally and physically.
Eldar [01:56:51]:
Exhausted, I would say, yeah, for sure.
Anatoliy [01:56:55]:
So if you limit walking, that's, like, a thing. We don't have to walk 15 miles in one day and ride, like, several miles. You can limit it so that you don't have to exhaust.
Eldar [01:57:07]:
Why are you scaring the kid?
Anatoliy [01:57:08]:
I don't know.
Eldar [01:57:09]:
It's only Wednesday.
Anatoliy [01:57:10]:
You guys said it's my job.
Eldar [01:57:11]:
No, that's true. That is your job.
Phillip [01:57:13]:
Well, I'm going to be on my.
Phillip [01:57:14]:
Own this weekend, so I have free rain.
Eldar [01:57:16]:
Yeah, free rain.
Phillip [01:57:17]:
To wild.
Anatoliy [01:57:18]:
You got to do, like 100 miles.
Eldar [01:57:20]:
You didn't see him. I was like, every half a mile, he fucking stops and was like, fuck am I doing here?
Phillip [01:57:25]:
I might rent a motorcycle and go.
Eldar [01:57:29]:
Yeah. Motorcycle diary. Yeah.
Anatoliy [01:57:33]:
But what Tara said is interesting. You may actually be physically tired. It has nothing to do with your physical because I'm also tired and I'm in much worse shape than you. But I come in on Monday and I don't feel like I need a day off on Sunday. I definitely need to rest more, for sure. But I don't feel like Sunday. I have to do nothing because I actually feel.
Eldar [01:57:56]:
The conversations.
Anatoliy [01:57:57]:
They energize me. They don't take away from me. They are sometimes a little bit tolling, but overall, they provide good energy. Because they're good conversations. They're very interesting. I don't feel like that physically. Yeah, I definitely feel tired. But I come home, I relax.
Anatoliy [01:58:15]:
I watch tv. I lay, lay in bed for a couple of hours. In the morning, I wake up slowly. I don't do a million things, and I get going, but I don't feel like I need a full Sunday to rest. Or maybe I do need to rest. I mean, I definitely do need to rest more. That's a given. I need to get in better shape, but in the current state I'm in, I'm not, like, taking a full day to recover.
Eldar [01:58:37]:
Philip, what happened to our juice, bro?
Phillip [01:58:40]:
I have to do the quote, and I have to treat the juice.
Eldar [01:58:42]:
Can you explain yourself, please explain yourself. On air, we lost track of time.
Phillip [01:58:49]:
What happened?
Anatoliy [01:58:50]:
Unacceptable.
Eldar [01:58:51]:
2 hours, this guy reeled us in.
Anatoliy [01:58:54]:
Sitting there fucking eating tacos, bro.
Eldar [01:58:56]:
Eating his own nails, bro. His cuticle tools, bro.
Anatoliy [01:58:58]:
He's fucking biting chicken juice from there.
Eldar [01:59:02]:
Yeah.
Phillip [01:59:02]:
I mean, for me, I definitely would like to make this list about.
Eldar [01:59:06]:
Because you don't want to end up like Philip.
Phillip [01:59:09]:
Well, that's definitely not why is alien.
Eldar [01:59:15]:
No. Because your original plan is actually calling for what he's doing. Yes. It's identifying general things like walking. Yeah.
Phillip [01:59:23]:
No, I was not trying to just mindlessly do things. That is for sure. I knew that.
Eldar [01:59:29]:
But that's the way you were coming across at first.
Anatoliy [01:59:31]:
When the list. The idea of the list, it just sounds like a.
Eldar [01:59:33]:
But you didn't come into it thinking that the list has to get a lot smaller. Correct. And I'm talking about if you had 100 things on the list, I'm thinking you needed to go to ten, so 90% had to be erased.
Phillip [01:59:43]:
Yeah. I knew for a fact that things I would need to do would need to be done with particular intention. If I wanted particular outcomes that were.
Eldar [01:59:55]:
Recurring, that is, with them, huge.
Phillip [01:59:56]:
Yeah. All I want to do is, I want to accomplish recurring happiness.
Eldar [02:00:01]:
Yeah. I mean, recurring happiness requires recurring fucking consistent. Yes.
Phillip [02:00:05]:
Output.
Eldar [02:00:06]:
Input.
Phillip [02:00:07]:
Yeah. I would like to get to a point where I never, ever have the feeling of the realization of the vines in that thing that I'm talking about, whether it's cleaning something or at work or just like something else, I no longer want to be a participant in.
Eldar [02:00:23]:
You say that, but. Yeah, you say that.
Anatoliy [02:00:25]:
You say that, but now you got to fight me like a man.
Eldar [02:00:28]:
Now you have to fight me like a man. Because brick don't hit back.
Anatoliy [02:00:30]:
Exactly.
Phillip [02:00:30]:
Yeah.
Eldar [02:00:31]:
You know what I'm saying? You could only throw so much at the wall, but then you got the answer to yourself. Yeah.
Phillip [02:00:37]:
No, 100%. I would like to figure out a way.
Eldar [02:00:43]:
Does it resonate to you or in you, the fact that you actually need to find out on how to take your rational mind and bring into your real life actions. 100%, this is not a matter of a list. I think you know what I'm saying.
Anatoliy [02:01:02]:
It's a matter of not turning off the switch.
Phillip [02:01:04]:
Yeah, no. 100%.
Eldar [02:01:06]:
This is what you're asking. If you in agreeance that the intention is the most important thing here, behind the things that you do so you can get the results that you want consistently.
Anatoliy [02:01:14]:
There's no list. It's all one thing.
Eldar [02:01:16]:
There's no list.
Anatoliy [02:01:17]:
Not turning off the lights, intention, that's all the same thing.
Phillip [02:01:19]:
Yeah, we're talking about the approach towards it. So my mindset towards walking, it's not walking, it's why am I walking? And can we achieve that in other healthier ways? And do I have to be so.
Phillip [02:01:30]:
Routine and regimented about it or anal about it?
Eldar [02:01:32]:
Right. Because at the end of the day what's going to happen is, right. And we just played a small little experiment, right. Without going deeper into it, that sooner or later his attachments and his attachments will not coincide and will not be parallel to coexistence. And those things have to separate, you know what I'm saying? And what's going to happen that in the relationship is going to be, he's going to be doing his own thing and he's going to be doing his own thing for their own reasons, for their own attachments. And obviously in the long term goal, that's not going to work in a relationship. So. Yeah, that's what I think about that listing.
Eldar [02:02:10]:
It is what are the things that you can get yourself into that are going to provide a continuum in order for you to not shut your mind off?
Anatoliy [02:02:21]:
Or what are the things that cause.
Eldar [02:02:23]:
You to shut your mind off?
Anatoliy [02:02:25]:
Because I think.
Eldar [02:02:26]:
I'm not sure if it's things. I don't think we're going against things. I'm thinking about video games. Video games.
Anatoliy [02:02:35]:
Why are you not thinking about.
Eldar [02:02:35]:
I'm not talking about video games, I'm not talking about any actions. No.
Phillip [02:02:38]:
I think that things that lead you to turn your mind off is.
Eldar [02:02:42]:
I think it's beliefs.
Phillip [02:02:43]:
Yeah, beliefs is what he said, beliefs.
Eldar [02:02:46]:
The reason why he picks up those phone calls and gets himself into those conversations. There's a system behind that, 100%, you know what I'm saying? And I think that's where the switch is. Only the switch is in the things. It's a residual of a belief system that's been created in order to accomplish something. Yeah.
Phillip [02:03:05]:
I believe that if I don't go for a walk, I'm going to be more prone to sit on Saturdays and do nothing of.
Eldar [02:03:10]:
Correct.
Phillip [02:03:11]:
And I know if I do nothing, I'm going to have very low energy, more prone to depression, spend more money.
Eldar [02:03:17]:
Do you realize that Philip, a person who's Philip right now, at this day and age, this time, cannot sit and do nothing? I cannot. That's it. No, I can't. That's it. Yeah, that's my belief system.
Phillip [02:03:33]:
Now if I do something, I'm going to be in motion doing something that's going to take me out of doing nothing.
Phillip [02:03:39]:
You want to be always what you label as productive?
Phillip [02:03:43]:
Yes. I consider the opposite of being lazy and depressed. And doing nothing is constantly doing something.
Anatoliy [02:03:51]:
What if we were just going to New York city and pick up, what's it called, a park or pick a comfortable place and never leave for 5.
Eldar [02:03:59]:
Hours and just talk?
Anatoliy [02:04:01]:
That'd be not doing anything.
Eldar [02:04:03]:
Right.
Phillip [02:04:03]:
That would still be more productive than me being home doing nothing though.
Anatoliy [02:04:06]:
What if I came to your house and we sat in your house for 5 hours and talking, did nothing? Would that be doing nothing?
Phillip [02:04:10]:
It's still better because I mean, there's somebody else there and I'm having conversations, so it's social, so yeah, definitely better. Getting out of my house and change of environment. To me that's important.
Anatoliy [02:04:20]:
You like that?
Phillip [02:04:21]:
Yeah, I like that.
Eldar [02:04:22]:
Yeah. I mean, he found himself in it, so that's what brings him whatever value, peace or whatever.
Phillip [02:04:26]:
Yeah, perfect example, working remote and then coming in here. I even told you I was like, oh, maybe hybrid schedule, blah blah. Hybrid schedule wouldn't have served me. I actually like coming here, so getting out of my natural idea of what I thought that was a quick one. That was what? It's been like two months. I knew it from the first week.
Eldar [02:04:44]:
Yeah, you gave a testimony right away.
Phillip [02:04:46]:
Yeah, I knew that was dead right off the bat. So yeah, I'm definitely open to changing all of these things. I can only be honest with the reasons why I do it because I.
Eldar [02:04:54]:
Am pretty clear on why I do. You should stick to your reasons because they serve you to a point. Up until something new comes about.
Phillip [02:05:01]:
Yeah.
Eldar [02:05:02]:
Something new, shiny and better is you should then evaluate of changing it. If it's not, then fucking stick to your guns.
Phillip [02:05:09]:
Yeah, I don't know exactly. We're talking about purpose, hatching the intention to what it is. I'm still learning a lot about myself. I still know certain things make me tick, but there's certain things that I don't know what they are. So if I know a bad example and a good example and a good example for me would be the walking versus not walking, I'm sticking with walking until, to your point, I feel like, all right, there's something else that comes into play that's going to really change my belief system, and it's going to be not be this temporary, fleeting thing.
Eldar [02:05:41]:
Correct.
Phillip [02:05:42]:
Because I basically took on this belief system. It's been a couple of years since probably like 2019. I've been doing this walk pretty consistent for like three or four years. If something changes in my belief, I'm very consistent with it.
Eldar [02:05:53]:
That's good.
Phillip [02:05:54]:
So in order for me to have my mindset change, it's going to have to be something where it's going to make a significant shift.
Eldar [02:06:01]:
Yeah, for sure.
Phillip [02:06:02]:
So I'm not going to just be tempted by, oh, this really cute girl. As much as I like beautiful women, one time and one experience is not going to be changing my ways of doing a whole Saturday.
Eldar [02:06:14]:
You'd be surprised when you discover your own power. Okay.
Anatoliy [02:06:18]:
Yeah, I think so, too.
Phillip [02:06:20]:
Okay.
Eldar [02:06:21]:
But I can't just like, hey, where's your usb port? I'm going to just give you these files right now.
Anatoliy [02:06:28]:
Certain lines become very fluid, and I think you realize that those kind of prisons of the routine, they don't serve you and you actually can choose when you want to.
Eldar [02:06:38]:
Well, don't call prisons, Mike. Yeah, you know what I mean? It's his safe space, bro.
Anatoliy [02:06:44]:
I thought we're going to speak different truth.
Eldar [02:06:45]:
Nowadays.
Phillip [02:06:47]:
Phil can handle the truth a little bit, I think.
Phillip [02:06:49]:
No, I'm willing to hear what it is. I would rather hear the truth. But like I said, I can only tell you where I was coming from and where I am now and the reason, but I'm just not seeing the next thing. Like I was telling you, I think we were talking about in our walk, we're talking about being a visionary and having those next ideas. And Mike was making points that I think everybody can be that. But I think you also have to be, again, rooted in purpose and have a reason to have the vision. If you're somebody who's just trying to get away from survival mode or get away from pain and just kind of create a safer space for you, I don't necessarily think you're even in a purpose driven environment. I'm in a move away from Pain environment and create a different.
Phillip [02:07:33]:
So I'm creating a new space off of a pain space to just be a person where I don't feel pain.
Eldar [02:07:39]:
Yeah.
Phillip [02:07:40]:
For me to even think about what my purpose is and creation and have a relationship and to be a father or have a pet or do all these things, they're not even on my radar because I'm figuring out who I am to take care of myself. So I have a foundation for me.
Eldar [02:07:57]:
You just said the safety and shelter space Mazda hierarchy is just safety. The bottom part. Yeah, the bottom part.
Phillip [02:08:05]:
Trying to get out of the muck.
Eldar [02:08:06]:
That's honest.
Phillip [02:08:06]:
I'm trying to get out of the muck to be in the bottom part so then I can thrive. I know.
Eldar [02:08:11]:
Yeah.
Phillip [02:08:11]:
Can I lie to myself and say, like, oh, yeah, I'm ready for it. Yeah. Or do I have the potential to be like, potential is scary. I think everybody has potential, but I'm realistic.
Eldar [02:08:21]:
You missed that one. Yeah, that's a good conversation we had potential.
Phillip [02:08:23]:
Yeah. But I'm definitely realistic with where I'm at.
Eldar [02:08:26]:
Potential is dead. Yeah. Potential is definitely. Okay, good.
Phillip [02:08:30]:
Potential is definitely dead. But I can only be realistic with where I'm at. And all these ideas, I get them. They are resonating, but there has to be timing on them. So if you guys are realistic and see, like, okay, Phillips was doing this and he's trying to get out and just be at that bottom level and get out of pain. Us talking about purpose and love and all these other things, they're great. And they do resonate me to a point. But they're, like, almost unrealistic for me.
Eldar [02:08:58]:
That is very honest, bro. And I agree with you.
Phillip [02:09:01]:
I'm not there yet. Yeah, I like hearing about them. They're great conversations. I'm interested in hearing about how to get there because I don't think it's a stupid conversation or a pointless conversation for me to have those because I want to have them. Maybe I can contribute a little bit or maybe I can listen more and get more from them. But still, I'm realistic with where I'm at with you guys. I still want to hear other things, but I can't make these big jumps and do these other things because I just don't believe you can make these kind of big jumps without putting foundations in place as you're going along. And I think that.
Eldar [02:09:34]:
So hold your horses, Mike.
Anatoliy [02:09:35]:
No, I'm definitely.
Eldar [02:09:37]:
Mike's impatience is shining through. I'm telling you, man. But he wants you to take leaps and bounds over here in certain things. You're bad, Mike.
Phillip [02:09:44]:
But I think it's normal to a point because I think we definitely enjoy spending time with each other, and we all enjoy spending time with each other. So when we have something in place that we, like, even, like, say, taking trips and stuff like that, I'm honest with saying I don't have vacation money right now. I only have XYZ money to do. Maybe go to the city, buy the ferry, come back, go food shopping, and have my regular little life. If I knew that I had maybe another couple of, like, hey, can we go to Hamptons? Can we do a helicopter ride? Can we go on vacation? I'd 100% do all this stuff.
Eldar [02:10:19]:
I'm just saying you could go $1,000 vacation somewhere. He's talking about a helicopter damn ride.
Phillip [02:10:26]:
But this is the stuff, though. I know what I like. I know what I like. I know that I would like to skip a line, a traffic 100%, look.
Eldar [02:10:37]:
Down on people, if possible, from the.
Phillip [02:10:39]:
Top of the air, spit down, like, from toy. But I know that I want to skip traffic, go to a nice place, come home, like, no hassle. Now, would I compromise and just say, hey, go down the shore for the day?
Eldar [02:10:49]:
Sure, sure.
Phillip [02:10:50]:
But I don't even think I'm still at the level to do that yet. I'm just getting used to a new job, figuring out new way.
Eldar [02:10:57]:
You are who I am.
Phillip [02:10:58]:
To me, all those things are, like, taking priority for me.
Eldar [02:11:01]:
All right, cool.
Phillip [02:11:02]:
Everything else to me is, like, secondary.
Eldar [02:11:04]:
That's it. Bye.
79. Cultivating a Productive Mindset: Reducing Distractions, Maximizing Satisfaction
Jul 21, 2023•2 hr 11 min•Ep. 79
Episode description
How can individuals align their short-term actions with long-term goals to find personal fulfillment and happiness?
Host Eldar and guests Phillip and Anatoliy engage in a thought-provoking conversation that spans personal honesty, the impact of short-term decisions on long-term goals, and the intricate balance between actions and intention. From addressing the pain of neglect to evaluating habitual routines against true desires, each moment of the episode offers listeners a mental workout. Anatoliy proposes creating a clear-headed list of crucial activities that lead to happiness and fulfillment, potentially to be revisited for reflection. The episode takes twists and turns through the philosophical to the pragmatic, questioning the value of everyday chores like dishwashing in the larger picture of one's life. Listeners will find themselves questioning their values, motivations, and indeed, the very actions that constitute their daily routines. Tune in to join the quest for a deeper understanding of the self and the pursuit of a balanced, fulfilling life.
Transcript
Transcript source: Provided by creator in RSS feed: download file