74. The Morning Routine Fallacy – The Flaws in Following a Fixed Morning Script

Mike [00:00:00]:
On this week's episode.

Katherine [00:00:01]:
So a lot of times you have to, like, kind of really dissect what's in your mind. Write it down, you know, what are your thoughts today? Like, what's bothering you? You have to, like, sometimes put it on the whiteboard and, like, really analyze. Like, oh, wait a minute. Like, this, this might be wrong. You know, like, this right here, comparing myself to this person over here, that's wrong. That's, that's causing me pain. Like, what's going on over here?

Phillip [00:00:22]:
You know, you're getting little, like, instant doses of 1015 seconds and then, boom. 1015 seconds.

Eldar [00:00:28]:
Boom.

Phillip [00:00:28]:
From another person. So you're gonna get information from maybe a thousand different sources.

Mike [00:00:32]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:00:32]:
And you're jumbled in your brain. Exactly. So I don't know what the fuck you're doing. Maybe Tony Robbins. You fucking listening?

Phillip [00:00:38]:
You look what you did to my man, motherfucker.

Eldar [00:00:40]:
How many people you fucking did this to? You understand? Mark Warburg wakes up at three in the morning. What the fuck?

Eldar [00:00:45]:
Yeah, he's stupid.

Mike [00:00:46]:
That's crazy.

Eldar [00:00:47]:
You know what I'm saying? Like, if people go, what do you do for. Get the fuck out of here.

Mike [00:00:49]:
People want to copy.

Eldar [00:00:50]:
03:00 a.m.. Bro.

Eldar [00:00:51]:
I barely wake up at 09:00 a.m.. Bro. What are we doing?

Phillip [00:00:54]:
Hey, Dennis, I hope you can edit this.

Eldar [00:00:56]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:00:56]:
Fuck.

Eldar [00:01:15]:
Philip, what's the topic?

Phillip [00:01:17]:
Deep, deep, deep emotional sadness. Depression.

Eldar [00:01:22]:
What about it?

Eldar [00:01:23]:
Can you describe what do you mean by that?

Phillip [00:01:26]:
Yeah, so we were talking about why. Why I was going for walks on Saturday and why I was being so consistent with it, and how something that is perceived as healthy, which can be going for exercise every week, could maybe be me just escaping and not dealing with maybe something painful, which could be emotional trauma, depression, whatever it may be. So I did a little test on myself this morning, and instead of waking up and doing my regular, you know, workout, you know, go for a walk, I just laid in bed and I felt like a real deep, deep sadness and depression and, like, automatically, like, right.

Eldar [00:02:10]:
Away, like, yeah, I just set in.

Phillip [00:02:12]:
I just was like, okay, I'm not doing anything. I'm not taking any action. I'm not moving. I'm not walking. I don't have any plan to do anything but go to work later. And I just felt, like, kind of hopeless, but I felt pain in my head and my body, and I. It was just like an overwhelming feeling. So I thought the topic today would be maybe how to alleviate these things or how to pursue these things when you don't really know a solution.

Mike [00:02:41]:
Okay, well, you don't know what's causing it, right?

Phillip [00:02:44]:
I don't know the cause, and I'd obviously like the solution because a normal person should not feel like this. So, you know, the remedy would be, you know, I thought with me, that's where my head went, was, okay, I'm going to still do my walks on Saturday, but instead of just buzzing around getting coffee and, like, not stopping, you know, maybe bring my notebook, maybe take a. Take a 15 minutes break every hour, maybe just observe nature. Like, just maybe be more present as I'm doing this stuff, because I know that sitting home is not the answer.

Eldar [00:03:15]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:03:16]:
So it's a matter of, like, maybe figuring it out within the process or routine that I have now, which is waking up, going for a walk, going to the pool, and maybe just being a little bit more mindful. That's kind of where my mind went.

Eldar [00:03:28]:
Okay, I guess I can start, or ask you a question first if you can answer it. How much value do you actually put on doing these things? Like you said, the routines and stuff, like, you yourself, how much, like, how high is it rated in your mind?

Phillip [00:03:45]:
I don't think I even put a system on it. I think it's just so. It's, like, effortless at this point where, like, it's just embedded in my, like, daily week. So I don't even think I rank it. If I had to think about it right now, I'd say it's pretty high. It is pretty high because, well, you.

Eldar [00:04:02]:
Talk about it a lot.

Phillip [00:04:03]:
Because I do enjoy it.

Eldar [00:04:04]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:04:05]:
And it's very consistent thing for me. So I would say just those two things alone without giving it any more thought. I would say it's valued pretty high.

Eldar [00:04:14]:
Pretty high.

Mike [00:04:15]:
New York City walking.

Phillip [00:04:16]:
Yeah, New York City walking.

Eldar [00:04:17]:
Or even the routine today, like you said, even today's routine, where you try to change something about it, something was completely off for him.

Eldar [00:04:25]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:04:25]:
So I would. I value it because I realize, again, like, going back, like, three, four years ago, whatever it was. And then this morning I realized when I don't do anything, it hurts. Like, physically, mentally hurts. So, like, I'm giving myself, whether we're calling it a band aid or some kind of, like, real relief, me getting out of the house and having something that I look forward to. I've considered this thing a healthy remedy or, like, a healthy routine. So I haven't thought about. Okay, like, maybe I'm not tackling the issue.

Phillip [00:04:58]:
I haven't thought about this yet. So today was the first time where I actually put it into practice and said, like, oh, shit, like, me actually doing all this stuff. Maybe I didn't tackle whatever the core issue was, and I was just putting a band aid. So yesterday's conversation, when Mike was bringing it up and you guys were talking about it, I'm like, okay, let me do the experiment.

Eldar [00:05:14]:
Yes.

Phillip [00:05:15]:
This morning was the experiment, and now it's like, okay, what am I doing about it?

Eldar [00:05:19]:
Hmm. Okay.

Eldar [00:05:21]:
And you can't link it to anything. You don't. You really not sure how, like, where to come from, like, in. And why you actually sad.

Eldar [00:05:27]:
Right?

Phillip [00:05:28]:
I mean, I can put, like, these maybe out there ideas. Maybe, you know, when you're a kid, you know, somebody tells you a certain thing. I have no idea. Like, I'm just going to, like, maybe possible. You know, you have trauma. You have something that I dealt with, maybe some type of situation. I mean, I don't even know, like, what exactly causes depression.

Eldar [00:05:51]:
I just.

Phillip [00:05:52]:
I look at it as, like, it's a very deep sadness, and I know some people take medication on it. This is, like, my. My extent of, like, my knowledge on depression.

Eldar [00:06:01]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:06:02]:
So I wouldn't consider myself an educated person on depression.

Eldar [00:06:05]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:06:06]:
How I would get there or how I get out of it.

Eldar [00:06:08]:
Yeah. Okay, maybe.

Eldar [00:06:09]:
Can you relate to something like this? Can you shine some light on what he's talking about?

Katherine [00:06:14]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:06:14]:
Like, he doesn't. He can't link it to anything. Like, he just didn't do his usual routine, and all of a sudden, he's extremely sad.

Katherine [00:06:21]:
Yeah. So I think. I think what Philip has been engaging in is distraction. We become, like, really good at distracting ourselves when something is not right. You know, we're like, okay, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna distract myself. I've also done that. But the thing is, when I realized something was wrong and I was depressed, I was so overwhelmed, there's no way that I would have known specifically, like, oh, you can't, like, point at it and say, okay, that's it.

Katherine [00:06:57]:
Like, that's, you know, I was just overwhelmed in general.

Eldar [00:07:00]:
So.

Katherine [00:07:01]:
So when I started therapy, we kind of just started talking about everything, and then, you know, they get a sense of what's going on with you in general, and then, you know, whatever is, you know, maybe hurting the most or bothering you the most, you kind of start tackling, like, one thing at a time. Right. But I understand the feeling of, like, you know, just not knowing exactly what's causing it. You have awareness, which is, like, it's the first step. It's, you know, like, you're paying attention, which is good. Um. Um, what do you want me to do? You want me to, like, speak on anything in particular?

Eldar [00:07:38]:
Well, no. I mean, I think it's a very interesting thing where. Where this thing just comes like a wave, right?

Katherine [00:07:44]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:07:44]:
It almost comes out of nowhere, let's just say. And he doesn't really know where it's linked to or where it's coming from.

Katherine [00:07:50]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:07:50]:
So that's the interesting question.

Katherine [00:07:51]:
Well, there's.

Eldar [00:07:52]:
There's.

Katherine [00:07:53]:
There's underlying stuff there. There's emotion or maybe trapped things or things that he hasn't, like, maybe processed or things that are still, you know, there from whatever, you know, whatever thing it is. And it, you know, when you don't process or, like, work. Work it out, it stays there.

Eldar [00:08:09]:
Yeah.

Katherine [00:08:09]:
You know, it stays in your mind. It could stay in your body as, like, a physical, like, you know, pain or whatever.

Eldar [00:08:16]:
It's.

Katherine [00:08:17]:
It's there, you know, until you process it and, like, kind of just work through it.

Eldar [00:08:21]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:08:21]:
Where my head goes is like, I've had these experiences, you know, from time to time. And I would say in the last couple of years were, say, like, just standing up for myself.

Eldar [00:08:32]:
Right.

Phillip [00:08:32]:
Like, in a certain situation and feeling like a relief, in a sense.

Eldar [00:08:36]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:08:36]:
Right. So when you. When you said that, what goes to my head is, like, when you're little, maybe there's situations where, you know, somebody talked to you a certain way and you didn't know how to respond, you know? And, like, if if, like, part of that and how you react becomes your new personality. So, like, these can be things that maybe happen when you're six, seven or eight years old. And you just. I look at myself in a sense, where when I would say, like, oh, like, I'm a nice guy or something like that, I think a lot of that was tied to maybe, like, a reaction that I had. And maybe my genuine self is a little bit more like, you know, to the point and firm, but I haven't been able to. To be that or express that.

Katherine [00:09:21]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:09:22]:
So I'm just going off of what you're saying and where my head goes. And I don't have a specific example, really, in my head, but I would say that that can be a possible link because I feel like I have a lot of passion inside and, like, energy to give to things. And there's definitely a disconnect between how much I give, where I give it, and, like, where I am now. So there's definitely a behavior attached to this that is not natural to what I think that I have inside of me. So there's, like, an inner conflict.

Eldar [00:09:58]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:09:58]:
I feel. And I feel there's, like, a real pain in my head and my body. Like, this is a real physical struggle. Like, I feel it now, like, in my back right now, and not so much in my head, but in my back right now. Like, I feel, like, tension.

Katherine [00:10:12]:
You feel attention?

Phillip [00:10:13]:
I feel right now, yeah. I can describe it in detail in my lower back, like, 100%. So when I had it this morning when I'm sitting down, I feel it, like, here am I describing my forehead, like, attention, headache. And then, like, all throughout my whole body. Like, I feel it in my knees, my back. And then it takes for me to, you know, put on ice on my face, you know, do my morning shower, cold shower, start to walk around, drive to work, walk around, start to talk to people. Then slowly but surely, it starts to, like, come down, come down, come down. But then, you know, you drink coffee, you walk around, you have conversations.

Phillip [00:10:50]:
What's actually.

Eldar [00:10:51]:
Is it.

Phillip [00:10:51]:
Is it actually healing? Or again, is this all just band aids and am I actually hitting the root of this problem, or. I, like, I don't know. I honestly don't.

Eldar [00:11:01]:
So would you say this has been just ongoing thing, and you. You are aware of this situation?

Phillip [00:11:06]:
I'm aware of this is happening. I'm aware of the pain, definitely for a long time.

Eldar [00:11:10]:
For a long time.

Phillip [00:11:11]:
Long time.

Eldar [00:11:12]:
Wow. Definitely.

Eldar [00:11:13]:
Also, you.

Mike [00:11:14]:
Do you typically have this kind of pain? Because I heard you talk about, you do the ice masks and the eyes and stuff and before as well.

Phillip [00:11:22]:
Yeah, this is the. The ice pack was, like, relatively new, but this pain in my back has been a thing that I've noticed for, like, very, very long time.

Mike [00:11:30]:
So I wake up with it, you're saying?

Phillip [00:11:32]:
Yeah, all the time. Like, it's a very, like, I feel it now. It's always constant. Sometimes it goes away, maybe after workout. And again, I don't know if it's constantly there in my mind is just allowing it to go. But I was telling you guys, I read a book about the connection between both. And I think I alluded to this on the first podcast. It was doctor John Sarno, and he was talking about the mind body connection and how you can have repressed emotional energy.

Phillip [00:11:56]:
So if you have a trauma or a thought that you haven't, like, processed properly, it actually stores inside of your body, and it creates oxygen deprivation to your muscle. So it actually stores in your body and creates pain. That resonated with me, and he said that the remedy was to actually educate yourself and realize what is happening. So these psychological problems, once you. Once you educate yourself and understand what they are, that's unlocking the problem.

Eldar [00:12:22]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:12:23]:
So I guess.

Eldar [00:12:24]:
But the thing is, like, yours is a longstanding one, and you really don't.

Phillip [00:12:27]:
Have a tie, and I don't have one.

Eldar [00:12:28]:
Exactly.

Eldar [00:12:29]:
That's like playing guessing games.

Phillip [00:12:30]:
So I'm very confused, because I can understand that solution, but I don't understand my exact place in it and how to I best unlock it in myself.

Eldar [00:12:43]:
Well, yeah. Without knowing, like, any confrontations that you used to have that maybe you didn't speak out for yourself. The only thing that I can link any type of pain that you're experiencing is the fact that. Which is a big one, I think, not being yourself.

Eldar [00:12:55]:
Right.

Eldar [00:12:55]:
That's a big one that we've observed.

Eldar [00:12:57]:
Right.

Eldar [00:12:57]:
And you yourself had this testimony about it, saying that for a long time, I wasn't able to be myself who I wanted to be. Definitely. You know what I mean? So that's the only thing I can. I can go.

Katherine [00:13:07]:
We've talked also in the past about Philip feeling like he's a people pleaser.

Eldar [00:13:12]:
Yeah.

Katherine [00:13:13]:
I relate to. And we might. I think that we might not see. Maybe look at it. It's like, oh, that's not really a big deal. It's a huge deal. Every time you please someone else, you're doing the opposite to yourself. You're not being yourself.

Katherine [00:13:29]:
And when you're not yourself, you're not. You're not free. Like, you're. You know, I think being able to be yourself is very freeing. So I think that might be part of, you know, maybe a frustration that, like, you not being able to express yourself or be yourself when, you know, at certain times.

Phillip [00:13:46]:
So where my head goes from that is that it does make sense. Like, being somebody who's not yourself or people pleasing. You're moving away from yourself. There becomes, like, more of a rigidness to you and, like, more of, like. Like an exterior, like, more of an ego, and you're moving farther away. So, to me, the type of, like, pain, it feels like I'm trapped in. Inside of this thing, and it's like a weight. You know, it's like.

Phillip [00:14:11]:
It feels like a weighted thing on my head.

Eldar [00:14:13]:
Like.

Phillip [00:14:13]:
So, like, relief is like an ice relief. Like, walking around, like, constantly sweating, doing something, you know, like.

Eldar [00:14:20]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:14:20]:
And even when I felt the extra physical weight on me, like, I was emotionally sad, like, need to get my weight off and go for walks and stuff. Like, I feel so much better on my body.

Eldar [00:14:30]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:14:30]:
But it didn't do anything for, like, the mental actually. Like, it's just physical weight.

Eldar [00:14:35]:
It helped.

Eldar [00:14:35]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:14:36]:
And I'm not sad about my weight, but I also.

Eldar [00:14:38]:
You want more?

Eldar [00:14:38]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Phillip [00:14:39]:
But I'm still sad inside, so.

Eldar [00:14:41]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:14:41]:
When I think of this, I understand, I guess people, people pleasing is. And not being yourself is a lot even bigger than I thought. But I can definitely say now if I had to put a percentage on it, like, I would say maybe I know ten to 25% of myself. Like, I don't think I even close to fully know.

Eldar [00:15:00]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:15:01]:
Who I am. And I've only recently discovered more of myself, probably in the last maybe year of my life.

Katherine [00:15:06]:
That's really honest. I think that that's, that's also a really good place to start because for a long time is, I had this conversation with elder and the guys plenty of times and my therapist as well. It's like, okay, so I've been hiding in this fearful, anxious, anxious shell for a long time.

Eldar [00:15:26]:
Mm hmm.

Katherine [00:15:27]:
I don't even know who I am.

Eldar [00:15:29]:
Yeah.

Katherine [00:15:29]:
You know, at some point, like, people ask you, like, hey, like, what hobbies do, do you have or what do you like to do? And I'm sitting there, like, I have no idea. Like, I've never explored these things, you know, because I'm so overwhelmed with other things in my mind. I don't have free time or I don't make the free time to, like, sit there and explore what I like, you know? So for a long time, I feel like I'm still facing that, but in a different way. It's like, who, who am I really? You know, that's part of, like, when you start paying attention and looking at, like, okay, I'm unhappy because x, y, z. Now, how do I become, like, truer to myself and express myself or be myself? You have to find yourself if you haven't, you know, like, if you have, if you don't know who you are, I think that's part of it. It's all like a web of a bunch of things that make, make, like, make you who you are.

Eldar [00:16:21]:
I get that.

Katherine [00:16:22]:
So that's, that's part of this whole thing. So it's great that you have the awareness.

Phillip [00:16:26]:
So, yeah, so think about yesterday when we were talking about, like, me going for walks. Like, if somebody asked me, like, oh, what's my hobby? I'd be like, oh, I really enjoy walking. Like, this has been my thing for, like, years. So when Mike was like. Like, yeah, like, walking could be dead. Like, you might be Band aid. I was, like, inside. Like.

Phillip [00:16:41]:
Like, he was like. I was getting mad, like, because I'm like. I'm like, yo, I was like, yo.

Eldar [00:16:47]:
Take away my shit.

Eldar [00:16:48]:
This is my shit.

Phillip [00:16:49]:
Like, I was like, oh, man, I'm doing so good. Like, I thought totally was gonna be on, like, fire yesterday for what he was saying. And I'm like, yo, they dragged me.

Katherine [00:16:54]:
Into this fucking thing.

Phillip [00:16:55]:
Like, I was sitting in the chair, thought I was gonna be late listening by walking. Shit's on fire here. Like, oh, man. Like, I was. I was getting very mad. But then I'm like, all right, like, if these guys are, like, getting me pissed off, like, obviously.

Eldar [00:17:06]:
Why am I getting.

Eldar [00:17:07]:
There's.

Eldar [00:17:07]:
Why am I attached?

Eldar [00:17:08]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:17:08]:
Truth to it, right? Yo, Mike definitely has, like, my best interest of mine. He's not trying to hurt me. He's trying to point out something, right? Hopefully. So. So then I'm waking up this morning, I'm like, all right. Like, I'm putting this thing to the test, and I'm like, oh, shit. Like, all right, there's definitely something here. But then I remember what.

Phillip [00:17:25]:
What Eldar saying, what you were saying, and you were like, just going cold turkey and taking. Walking away is not doing anything. Like, you know, until we figure out maybe, like, a different solution, walking is still a better option than sitting at home and doing nothing.

Eldar [00:17:39]:
Especially if you. Especially if he's gonna get very sad and depressed.

Eldar [00:17:42]:
Right.

Eldar [00:17:43]:
No.

Katherine [00:17:44]:
With the weather right now, just to mention, just by walking out and being in the sun and breathing fresh air, you know, if you are depressed, that it helps immediately.

Eldar [00:17:54]:
Oh, yeah.

Katherine [00:17:54]:
Instinct here. Like, a temporary.

Eldar [00:17:56]:
And you have that already conditioned. Catherine didn't. Doesn't even have that condition yet.

Phillip [00:18:00]:
Right, right.

Eldar [00:18:01]:
So she still has a hard time actually getting out and doing that on a consistent basis.

Katherine [00:18:05]:
Yeah, I have consistency.

Eldar [00:18:08]:
Oh, see, I have.

Phillip [00:18:09]:
I have a problem with consistency because I'm too much like.

Eldar [00:18:14]:
You bought in into consistency already.

Phillip [00:18:16]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:18:17]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:18:17]:
But they killed discipline for me, so it's like, discipline, routine, consistency. Consistency probably sucks also. We figured that out.

Mike [00:18:23]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:18:26]:
Yeah. Holy shit.

Mike [00:18:28]:
Everywhere I turn, I'm fucking trapped.

Phillip [00:18:31]:
Like, guys, I've been so consistent. Like, oh, wait. No, I haven't been like, yeah, like, trust me, I don't like anything. Like, which one's right. Anytime you judge, I don't know shit.

Katherine [00:18:41]:
Tell you you're doing the wrong thing.

Eldar [00:18:42]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:18:43]:
I don't know shit anymore, but, yeah. So, yeah, this is kind of like where my head's at, but, like, yeah, this one's a little scary because even with the other ones, like, I guess, like, I guess this one feels more full and complete because, like, when the thing is inside of you, this is when I feel hopeless. When people pleasing is there and you're just kind of examining it, you're saying, like, okay, I can change how I'm talking to other people. I have control of this thing, with this. With this pain. I don't know where it's coming from, and I don't know how to fix it. So, like, I'm sitting here, like, damn. Like, I do really feel trapped in this.

Eldar [00:19:19]:
Listen, the good thing, at least you know how to manage it.

Eldar [00:19:21]:
Yes. Yeah.

Eldar [00:19:22]:
That's a good thing.

Phillip [00:19:23]:
Without having to do drugs or anything. I know that. I can go for a walk for you, for work and, like.

Eldar [00:19:29]:
Correct.

Phillip [00:19:29]:
I'm good.

Eldar [00:19:30]:
Correct.

Eldar [00:19:30]:
That's already good.

Eldar [00:19:31]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:19:31]:
So, you know, don't, like, don't sell yourself short.

Katherine [00:19:33]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:19:34]:
You know what I mean?

Katherine [00:19:34]:
And the hopelessness is very normal. It's very normal when you don't have, like, we don't always have the answers and you don't know how to pinpoint. Okay. What is it that is making me so, you know, like, feel this way so it can make you feel hopeless, but it's not. You do have the tools and you have the power to, like, fix this. You know?

Phillip [00:19:53]:
Praying is not dead, right?

Katherine [00:19:55]:
Praying is not.

Phillip [00:19:57]:
I like. I like prayer. I don't do it. That's one thing I don't do. Consistent. But what I know, which is crazy, is that every time that I pray, things, like, things happen. So I don't want to do something where I'm praying just to get something. I want to make it more genuine and part of, like.

Phillip [00:20:13]:
Yeah, my, like, daily, like, before I go to sleep regimen. But I want to come from a really good place, not just, like, I want stuff. Okay.

Eldar [00:20:19]:
Praying is an interesting phenomenon.

Phillip [00:20:21]:
Okay. Yeah, it is. So, like, praying is not dead.

Eldar [00:20:24]:
Right.

Eldar [00:20:25]:
Praying is not that. I think, generally speaking, praying is the dead. Yeah, generally speaking.

Eldar [00:20:33]:
Right.

Eldar [00:20:34]:
Again, it's. I think that it's. It's any. Nothing's dead, but everything's dead.

Eldar [00:20:38]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:20:39]:
It depends on the intention.

Mike [00:20:40]:
It's the paradoxical thing of it.

Eldar [00:20:42]:
Yeah, it is the paradox.

Katherine [00:20:43]:
I think. I think one way that is more like the term now is, like, for example, like, it's been suggested to me, practice gratitude. You know, wake up in the morning every day and be thankful for something. Different than, let's say, yesterday. Like, it makes you analyze your life and it makes you, like, look at, you know, okay, what, what is going on that's good in my life?

Eldar [00:21:04]:
But the good, the very important part of this, what you're talking about, why the suggestion is being made in the first place of being grateful, is because somewhere deep inside, you're not grateful. And that comes from where that's probably negative self talk. Some kind of ego, some kind of pride.

Eldar [00:21:22]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:21:22]:
Okay, so that phenomenon is they telling you like, hey, wake up a little bit.

Katherine [00:21:28]:
It's almost like a stop, pause and check.

Eldar [00:21:32]:
So it's not necessarily self awareness. It's not necessarily something to be grateful for. It's actually shooting down your own ego. I think with praying to something that's higher than you, it's a humility thing. It automatically invokes a very specific relationship between you and something greater, which is the divine.

Eldar [00:21:51]:
Right.

Eldar [00:21:52]:
So that humbles you.

Eldar [00:21:53]:
Right.

Eldar [00:21:53]:
And when that humbles you, you naturally open up to new things and more opportunities by saying, like, I don't know, please help me.

Eldar [00:22:02]:
Right.

Eldar [00:22:02]:
That, I don't know, please help me is, is the open mindedness, and I think it's an important one. So I'm not, but I'm not sure if people are linking a lot of the times of what's actually happening in those processes. People will just say, I pray and shit happens. If there's a reason why shit happens and it's linked to praying, you know what I mean? Or doing the gratitude stuff because you're shooting down your ego and your self negative talk that keeps telling you, like, this is not enough. I don't have this, I don't have that. I don't have that. That's a specific attitude. That's a bad attitude.

Eldar [00:22:33]:
But with self gratification, you, you combat that, you negate it, right?

Katherine [00:22:38]:
It makes you more, forces you to look at the positive. What's, you know, what's positive?

Eldar [00:22:44]:
Well, that's the problem. That's the problem. I think that's one of the reasons why people don't continue to do self gratitude or they continue to pray. Because there is a forcing thing that goes in there, right? If you're a person that needs to be forced, then this is the way you learn. Why can't you see things for what they are and then see it for what it is? And then you don't need to do self gratitude because you already know what it is.

Phillip [00:23:05]:
Like you just live it on a day to day basis.

Eldar [00:23:07]:
Right?

Katherine [00:23:07]:
Yeah, but I think so. I think you're like, there's, for some, it might take a step before getting there.

Eldar [00:23:14]:
The thing is, it's, you know, the.

Katherine [00:23:15]:
Problem I have where they. Where they are and, like, blind stepping in the muck that there, you know.

Phillip [00:23:22]:
Yeah.

Katherine [00:23:23]:
You know, 100% there's a space between.

Eldar [00:23:26]:
But ultimately you want to walk in the presence of knowing what the actual truth is and being the truth.

Eldar [00:23:32]:
Right.

Eldar [00:23:32]:
So you can never go into, like, I don't have this because you realize that you always have everything.

Katherine [00:23:37]:
You always have everything.

Eldar [00:23:39]:
But if you out of that state, yeah. You will be egotistical and prideful and never satisfied because you ultimately are not the right person, mental, you know?

Eldar [00:23:51]:
So.

Eldar [00:23:51]:
So that's why you need scolding. It's almost a form of scolding yourself. It's like, what's wrong with you? You see, you see everything. You need almost a reminder to tell yourself, like, you look, everything's great, you know?

Phillip [00:24:02]:
So what I noticed with being grateful. So the example recently has been, like, driving around, looking at, like, maybe homes or, like, lavish things, and maybe, like, you gravitate towards those or whatever. Whatever they may be for you, right? Anything. So I noticed that when I'm actually truly grateful for something, and I'm saying, like, my apartment, right? Like, I have a studio apartment, when I actually sit down and say, like, I'm grateful for it, I almost am, like, damn. Like, I really like my place. Like, I almost don't even feel like I deserve it in a sense sometimes. So sometimes I'm so far outside of, like, what I think that I need in order to, like, make myself happy that if I really sat down and said, like, oh, I'm grateful for this, this and this relationship, my apartment, like, what I have, I'm like, almost like, I don't need anything.

Eldar [00:24:45]:
Correct.

Phillip [00:24:45]:
But for whatever reason, it's really difficult for me to do that all the time.

Eldar [00:24:50]:
Correct.

Phillip [00:24:51]:
Like, I will pray every once in a while and I will be grateful every once in a while. When I actually do these things, they're so profound that I'm like, okay, I did them. I think this is what I'm thinking now. Not in the moment, but, like, I do them and I'm like, okay, I did them. And, like, now I'm done. Like, if I practice those every day.

Eldar [00:25:06]:
Yeah, but what, what if you examine and saw that the only reason why you pray in the first place is because when shit is bad. Yeah, but why would you. But why would you want to pray all the time when you want more shit to be bad. It sounds like you should be getting to a point where you don't have to pray at all because shit is already good. What is there to pray for?

Eldar [00:25:24]:
So it's.

Phillip [00:25:24]:
It's, uh, uh. Changing your mindset.

Eldar [00:25:28]:
I think it's seeing things for what they are. I think we pray when we shit is bad, right?

Eldar [00:25:32]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:25:33]:
That's your being grateful. We're being grateful consciously when we're not grateful.

Eldar [00:25:38]:
Yes.

Eldar [00:25:38]:
So for you asking, hey, I want to pray more, I want to be grateful more. It's almost saying that, like, what you want to be not grateful more so you can be grateful more.

Phillip [00:25:48]:
So the goal should be to get to be living in the state of what happens as a result of being grateful and praying naturally in your day to day life. Is that what you're saying?

Eldar [00:25:59]:
Yeah, I think.

Eldar [00:26:00]:
I think the goal is to see things for what they are, and that means that you do have everything.

Phillip [00:26:06]:
Is this like the example of when Nick Nolte tells the kid to, like, look over and, like, look around to look again, look around like this example?

Eldar [00:26:14]:
It is, it is.

Eldar [00:26:15]:
It's like everything is happening. That example was be in the present moment and he's not actually, he's not noticing. Correct. So a lot of times we're in our heads or whatever we're doing, so we're not actually noticing what's actually good.

Eldar [00:26:25]:
You know what I'm saying?

Eldar [00:26:26]:
So if you look around, shit is actually good.

Eldar [00:26:29]:
Right. You know what I mean?

Eldar [00:26:30]:
But you don't want to see things for what they are, because you have certain attachments to some ideas that you've created in your mind. To say that you don't have enough or you're not enough, like, what's bad? What's actually bad in your life?

Eldar [00:26:43]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:26:44]:
If I took this pain away, I would say, like, I don't have anything bad, honestly.

Eldar [00:26:48]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:26:48]:
And that pain is also fleeting.

Phillip [00:26:50]:
It's not permanent.

Eldar [00:26:51]:
You said when you start moving, start doing stuff.

Eldar [00:26:53]:
Right. It's not.

Phillip [00:26:54]:
I forget about it.

Eldar [00:26:55]:
There you go. You know what I'm saying? But the fact that I feel now.

Phillip [00:26:58]:
Really bothers me because this one, I can't do. This is not a quick fix one. I don't think.

Eldar [00:27:04]:
I mean, if especially you don't know what it's linked for and why it's coming for in the first place. You know? Like, the only thing I would say is, like, what are you, what are you still doing that you're not happy with? How are you as a person that you're still not happy that you're not okay with.

Katherine [00:27:17]:
You know what? If I, like, if I had to guess, I would think he has thinking errors. Yeah, some cognitive errors, 100%. So there might be. You might have some negative self talk if you start paying attention.

Eldar [00:27:30]:
Yes.

Katherine [00:27:31]:
Yeah. Are you harder? Are you hard on yourself?

Phillip [00:27:35]:
Like, yeah, I think my expectations on myself versus, like, I guess. I guess, yeah, I guess, like, yeah. A simple answer. Yes, I would say.

Eldar [00:27:48]:
Yeah.

Katherine [00:27:48]:
I would say, like, paying attention to those and, you know, think about it. Like, if you're not just thinking in your mind, but if you were to say things out loud, you sometimes you can realize, like, how mean you are to yourself, especially with expectations. Expectations, you know, can lead to disappointments and stuff like that. So watching those thoughts and ultimately, yeah.

Eldar [00:28:13]:
You have to follow that crumb trail.

Katherine [00:28:15]:
Yes.

Eldar [00:28:15]:
Why? Why are you feeling this way? And then you're like, okay, cool, I have an attachment to this thing, and I want this to be this way. And if it's not, then it's causing you pain. You see all that trailer, and then you start identifying why this, why that, and then you start challenging yourself ultimately.

Katherine [00:28:31]:
I'll give an example because he might relate. Okay, so pandemic hits were not quarantined. And now I've gone from maybe distracting myself to not distracting myself to having more time. And so what happens is you become more introspective. You start actually thinking about your life or what you want to do. So how I was doing it, instead of looking at all the things that went right and where I was in my life, I was happily married. You know, we're sharing a home now. We're living the dream that we worked so hard and saved for so long for.

Katherine [00:29:05]:
And everything is good. The way I was looking at it, I was beating myself up with expectation. So I never finished my bachelor's degree. I have. I'm like, a few classes away, and I haven't finished. So instead of looking at it as, like, okay, you know, it's just. It's fine. It is what it is.

Katherine [00:29:26]:
It's a piece of paper. And is it going to change anything once I do take those seven classes and finish my degree, like, what's going to change? I'm not going to go out there and do something about it or, you know, like, you know, what am I going to do? I was looking at my fertility. I was having, you know, a really hard time with pregnancy and getting, attempting to get pregnant and not happening, you know, all these other things that weren't lining up with where I wanted to be. Also comparing yourself, you know, a lot of my friends were getting pregnant, having kids. I had multiple kids at this point. You know, here I am just looking at, like, oh, here's poor me. Like, I was, like, playing the little violin for myself. I was, like, playing the victim and everything.

Katherine [00:30:09]:
And, you know, I have some health issues, and so everything I was looking at was completely negative. And my self talk was really negative. Like, oh, I was. I was beginning to even think that I was not. Like, I didn't feel like a real woman, you know, because I couldn't get pregnant. I was like, maybe something is wrong with me, you know? Like, you start going down, like, this crazy rabbit hole of negativity and, like, just really negative, like, self talk, you know? So a lot of times you have to, like, kind of really dissect what's in your mind. Write it down, you know, what are your thoughts today? Like, what's bothering you? You have to, like, sometimes put it on the whiteboard and, like, really analyze, like, oh, wait a minute. Like, this.

Katherine [00:30:50]:
This might be wrong. You know, like, this right here, comparing myself to this person over here, that's wrong. That's. That's causing me pain. Like, what's going on over here? You know, I finally realized, like, I absolutely don't give a damn about the bachelor's degree. I don't.

Eldar [00:31:03]:
You know, she examined it.

Katherine [00:31:05]:
I examined it. And you know what? I even tried it out during quarantine. I went back to college. I signed up for classes, and I did them, and I was miserable. You know, I used to love school. I loved college. I loved it. When I was a full time student, my mind is not there anymore.

Katherine [00:31:20]:
I'm not a student anymore. Now I, like, my priorities are at home. I'm thinking about other things. Like, it's just not fulfilling me anymore, you know? But I tried it. You know, I tried it, and it wasn't it, you know?

Phillip [00:31:33]:
So do you think. So do you think going through, like, say, like, you're writing them down, right? Like, let's say you have a list of, like, ten things, right? Did you see that? It was worthwhile to go through each one individually and say, like, okay, like, I'm thinking about this one, thinking about this one, versus maybe, like, where my mind goes is pulling back and then just saying, instead of all these individual examples, thinking of, like, people pleasing. And I would look at it as, like, okay, people pleasing to me is the main deterrent in that or the main, like, pain that I'm getting from that is that I'm putting my expectations in somebody else's hands, or I'm putting the thought of myself in somebody else's hands. Meaning that, like, this person is going to dictate, like, how I feel about myself depending on their reaction to me, how they look at me, how they feel about me, how they talk about me. Like, I'm allowing that to become like, myself, talk about myself. So, to me, I'm checking that box itself. Like, okay, people pleasing. I have to be more confident in myself, and I can't allow other people to kind of dictate it, because how I'm looking at is that as a result of that, I probably have, like, five or six or ten sub examples that are probably attached to that topic.

Eldar [00:32:40]:
Yes.

Phillip [00:32:41]:
So do you think it's better to, like, think about, like, big topics, like, people pleasing and just kind of, like, check those off? Or did you find value in, like, writing down, you know, ten or 1520 examples, like, in that realm? Do you know what I'm saying? Does that make sense?

Katherine [00:32:55]:
That's a good question. Um, I think it's important for, for you to see what's going on. You know, you have to see it for what it is. Like Eldar said. So, in my opinion, like, I think it was important for me to start realizing, like, oh, shoot, like, the house is on fire. Like, I got problems over here. The, you know, these are my thinking errors over here. My self esteem is low.

Katherine [00:33:20]:
I don't believe in myself. I'm feeling hopeless. I'm feeling lost. I'm feeling lonely. Through all of this, I learned so much about myself in that moment and what I needed to work on. I also realized that I have really bad communication. I thought I was a great communicator with my husband. Apparently, I wasn't.

Katherine [00:33:42]:
And as soon as I started seeing things for what they were and started to fix them, I started working on that.

Eldar [00:33:47]:
And I got a new wife.

Katherine [00:33:48]:
You know, I started communicating more. I started venting more, because venting actually is a very healing when you're in pain, you know? So I realized I was just bottling everything up inside. I wasn't being honest with my friends.

Eldar [00:34:02]:
Sometimes or my volcano, she would erupt.

Katherine [00:34:05]:
And I would just erupt, you know? And I am, you know, I am a very emotional person. I can be very sensitive. So what happens when you're just not being yourself and you're just bottling everything up?

Eldar [00:34:15]:
It's.

Katherine [00:34:15]:
You're gonna explode, and that's, you know, that's not good for anybody.

Phillip [00:34:18]:
So you were noticing, like, things, like, in different kind of areas, and you were allowing yourself to explore all of these things.

Eldar [00:34:25]:
Right?

Katherine [00:34:25]:
Because I think before that, before I realized, like, whoa, I have a lot of pain, and I have a lot of. I'm, like, suffering right now. I didn't have awareness before that. Like, I didn't really have the awareness of what was going on. I, like, hit, like, let's say, like, a rock bottom and realize, like, whoa, I'm. I'm not feeling right. I feel. I'm feeling really lost and really upset.

Katherine [00:34:45]:
I don't know why. And I need help. And then it's with that help that I started realizing, like, okay, these are all aspects of my life that need work and need change in order for me to slowly start becoming the better version of myself and to start feeling better and, like, happier, you know? So all these little things that come up as you start paying attention, they're all important because they all are going to make up the happier, healthier, better. Philip, you know what I mean?

Eldar [00:35:14]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:35:14]:
I sent your question, Philip.

Katherine [00:35:16]:
Did I answer it or no?

Eldar [00:35:18]:
Yes and no. She went through the certain examples in her life, and that's how she discovered that she's.

Katherine [00:35:26]:
How it's easier for me.

Eldar [00:35:27]:
You know what I mean? And, no, I think it's the best way to do it, too, because, like, real life examples of how you actually living and what you're doing can point to the problem. You know what I mean? You just saying that you, are you a people pleaser, it could be also helpful. It could be good if you actually believe it.

Eldar [00:35:42]:
Right.

Eldar [00:35:42]:
But actual example as to where and where in which situations and why could be. Can provide the actual answers.

Phillip [00:35:48]:
Look, it makes it almost more real.

Eldar [00:35:49]:
Correct.

Eldar [00:35:50]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:35:50]:
Correct.

Eldar [00:35:51]:
Yeah. Understand?

Eldar [00:35:52]:
So in her case, right. In our case, we talked about the attachment to finishing school and being a college graduate.

Eldar [00:35:57]:
Right.

Eldar [00:35:57]:
It was a specific example. And then we talked about why. What is that gonna do actually, in life? Is it. And then is it worth for you to go through pain?

Eldar [00:36:07]:
Which.

Eldar [00:36:08]:
She still didn't think that it was gonna be painful, but I said, go try it. Take one class and. And see how you feel.

Eldar [00:36:13]:
She's like, shit.

Eldar [00:36:14]:
It was crucial. I mean, it was terrible, excruciating.

Katherine [00:36:17]:
But you know what?

Eldar [00:36:18]:
But she tested the theory.

Katherine [00:36:19]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:36:20]:
That this is not for me.

Katherine [00:36:21]:
You know, what was important about just. Just analyzing that one aspect out of all the things that were causing me pain, like, for example, that bachelor's degree. I'm a first generation, like, immigrant. My parents are immigrants. Blue collar immigrants.

Eldar [00:36:33]:
Oh, I didn't know that.

Katherine [00:36:33]:
And so, well, for those who don't know. So I can explain to you how deep rooted that belief system or that value was, is that I. I learned to believe. I convinced myself that the only way that I could, you know, be successful or, like, break the, you know, be better than just a blue collar worker was by educating myself. So I was the ticket. It was the ticket out of. Out of poverty or the hustle, you know? Or, you know, I believe that, like, to the core, that was my belief. So I had to really relook at that and say, wait a second.

Katherine [00:37:09]:
Is this actually causing. Is this making me, like, is this causing me suffering or is this making me a better person or.

Eldar [00:37:16]:
Yeah, and then if I. Was that actually gonna change your life?

Katherine [00:37:20]:
Yeah, and how is that piece of paper going to make me a better person or make me happy?

Phillip [00:37:24]:
You know, that unlocked an example for me. So example for me.

Eldar [00:37:29]:
Before you hold on to the example, I just want to make a notice that as soon as he got up and sat on the seat, she got up and sat up on the couch.

Katherine [00:37:36]:
This is really important. But you see how examples. How we can connect because, you know, I give you my example, and there might be something that you can.

Eldar [00:37:43]:
Wait a second. Let's see if the example is even.

Katherine [00:37:44]:
Well, I'm just saying. But that example made him think about his example.

Eldar [00:37:47]:
I don't. Shit. Yeah.

Phillip [00:37:49]:
No, but, no, I like when you're saying examples because it's literally like putting a thought into my head of. I just remember, like, just being younger and how my mom would talk to me about how you should act towards another person to be polite. I think it was coming from a good place, but I think putting. Putting the emphasis on, oh, you know, don't. Don't disrupt the other person. You want to treat the other person really good.

Eldar [00:38:16]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:38:16]:
Again, I think it's coming from a good place. But when the other person becomes the emphasis, I think there's an element of where you can lose yourself and try to become a certain type of person to. Then you're just looking for the reaction from the other person. So then it becomes about, if I'm not pleasing that person and that person maybe has a copy, like a frown or whatever. You're like, oh, my God, like, what am I doing wrong? It's like, no, no, maybe this person's a fucking idiot. You know what I mean? But I'm not allowing myself to think.

Katherine [00:38:41]:
You started allowing, like, the outside controlling your emotions.

Eldar [00:38:45]:
Yes.

Phillip [00:38:46]:
So I'm so where my head went was, like, maybe the seed of people pleasing was starting from a good place of being genuinely kind to somebody else, but then making that the other person's reaction, your priority, and then almost losing your place in it. And just, like, I was, like, a conduit for, like, kind energy, but, like, I'm not even a person anymore. I'm like, a mishmash of things.

Eldar [00:39:06]:
So would you say that, uh, your habitual behavior of over drowning the conversation, but over talking people is the root of that, for sure, is the. It's not the result of.

Phillip [00:39:16]:
No, as a result of that, but.

Katherine [00:39:18]:
It'S also getting validation from those conversations?

Eldar [00:39:20]:
Well, that's.

Katherine [00:39:21]:
That's exactly the pat on the head. Oh, you know, boy.

Eldar [00:39:25]:
So he's. He's extremely intuitive, and it's paying attention to the other people's energies and how they feel. So he will do and say whatever it takes.

Katherine [00:39:33]:
I have lived most of my life.

Eldar [00:39:34]:
Like that in order to. In order to get that response, to.

Katherine [00:39:37]:
Get that gold star and feel like.

Phillip [00:39:38]:
Okay, come like a monkey. Just like the exact. But it's not even your. You're actually. That, to me, is, like, so far away from actually, whoever you are, because I'm not allowing myself to just be me and not think about the. The end result. I'm not allowing myself just to have conversation. Everything is calculated.

Eldar [00:40:05]:
When's the last time you ever said to somebody, like, what are you talking about?

Eldar [00:40:08]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:40:09]:
Like, questioning them. Yeah, yeah. Or it's always like, oh, no, no.

Eldar [00:40:12]:
Cool, cool.

Phillip [00:40:16]:
It's ridiculous.

Katherine [00:40:18]:
Or simply saying no. Saying yes to.

Eldar [00:40:21]:
Yeah.

Katherine [00:40:21]:
When you actually want to say no.

Eldar [00:40:23]:
Yeah.

Katherine [00:40:23]:
That was my biggest down. That is how that was. Those were my first boundaries. Simply learning how to say no. It was so hard for me.

Phillip [00:40:32]:
Very big.

Katherine [00:40:33]:
It's huge. It'll change your life.

Eldar [00:40:37]:
What are we doing?

Phillip [00:40:38]:
Hey, Dennis, I hope you can edit this.

Eldar [00:40:40]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:40:40]:
Fuck.

Mike [00:40:43]:
There you go.

Eldar [00:40:44]:
There you go.

Eldar [00:40:45]:
I try to break. Bring Dennis off with this to tell you, this is who you truly are.

Mike [00:40:49]:
You know, you gotta scream where you're.

Eldar [00:40:50]:
About to get paid.

Mike [00:40:51]:
You know.

Eldar [00:40:55]:
Everybody chooses own path, but.

Phillip [00:40:56]:
Yeah, so, yeah, it's cool to hear, like, when somebody else is talking about it, it's definitely relatable. Like, and even if the examples aren't the same, when you do share an example, it, without me thinking about it, an example does pop in my head.

Eldar [00:41:08]:
That's right.

Mike [00:41:09]:
So, that's right.

Katherine [00:41:10]:
Being.

Phillip [00:41:10]:
Being sad is pretty. Pretty cool.

Eldar [00:41:13]:
No, it's almost sounds like.

Eldar [00:41:20]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:41:20]:
People that are. What's his name oppressed almost, right? They're oppressing themselves with this type of behavior. For a very long time. You guys just been down on yourselves, and then now it's time to live it. You don't know how.

Katherine [00:41:32]:
Yes.

Eldar [00:41:34]:
And then, like, if you. If you wake up without your routine and nothing, that's fine. Flooding your gates in order to distract you.

Eldar [00:41:40]:
Right.

Eldar [00:41:40]:
You're like, holy shit. Like, who am I? What am I doing? And what am I thinking?

Phillip [00:41:43]:
Yeah, I literally don't. You. This morning, I literally had. I was like, a blank canvas.

Eldar [00:41:49]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:41:50]:
Not positive. Blank canvas for an artist. Like, oh, let me paint and put all my inspiration, like, oh, man. Like, I'm literally a piece of, like, cloud. Like, that has no substance. Like, no. Nothing. Like, yeah, I felt literally empty was more of the.

Eldar [00:42:06]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:42:07]:
But, um. But when we're talking about, like, wanting to find your purpose and wanting to be driven and, like, being somebody who values energy and being energetic versus being depressed, like I said, like, I always looked up to people who had a lot of energy and, like, charisma. Like, oh, I love that. Now that I have that, I'm like, okay, great. But if it's not attached to routine, like, I don't have anything. So I'm like, am I.

Eldar [00:42:29]:
Like, who am I?

Phillip [00:42:29]:
So am I the routine?

Eldar [00:42:30]:
Am I.

Mike [00:42:30]:
Who am I?

Phillip [00:42:31]:
Like, I'm in this.

Eldar [00:42:32]:
Yeah.

Katherine [00:42:32]:
So I think it's also, like, where. Where Philip is putting his value. Right. Like, he's valuing this routine to a point where maybe to an extent, where maybe he's overvaluing. Yeah.

Eldar [00:42:45]:
But there's a reason for it.

Katherine [00:42:46]:
There's a reason for.

Eldar [00:42:47]:
It served them.

Eldar [00:42:48]:
Right.

Eldar [00:42:48]:
It served them.

Katherine [00:42:49]:
Until you start getting. I think he has been serving him as a distraction.

Eldar [00:42:52]:
Well, now you're saying that.

Eldar [00:42:54]:
Yeah.

Katherine [00:42:54]:
You know. You know.

Eldar [00:42:56]:
Correct.

Phillip [00:42:56]:
But it got the pain away, though.

Eldar [00:42:58]:
Correct, correct.

Phillip [00:42:59]:
So that, to me, with, like, analyzing purpose, it helped me lose weight. It helped me get out of the pain, and it helped me, like, just ultimately.

Eldar [00:43:08]:
But will it help you to self actualize?

Phillip [00:43:10]:
That's the next step.

Eldar [00:43:11]:
That's right.

Phillip [00:43:12]:
Now I'm thinking about this next step. It's like, okay, I did something to get me here. It's the same example for your friend that we were talking about, I think the doctor.

Eldar [00:43:19]:
Right.

Phillip [00:43:19]:
We're talking about, like, being an immigrant, getting to a certain point and having a certain mindset that gets you to where you are now. So what's your next goal? Like, if the next goal is to be more loving person, fall in love, self actualize, life.

Eldar [00:43:35]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:43:35]:
Is that mindset that you got to be financially successful or for me to get out of the pain? Is that mindset going to help me get to the next place? And if it's not, I have to literally change my whole mindset again.

Eldar [00:43:47]:
Correct.

Phillip [00:43:48]:
And tell myself, convince myself, and change my belief system and say, okay, philip, this helped you to get here, but it's actually not going to help you discover more of who you are and find your purpose. That's scary place. Like, very scary for me.

Eldar [00:44:02]:
Okay.

Eldar [00:44:02]:
Sure.

Eldar [00:44:02]:
It's scary.

Eldar [00:44:03]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:44:03]:
Because you have the.

Eldar [00:44:04]:
You have.

Eldar [00:44:04]:
You have attached yourself to this so strongly.

Phillip [00:44:07]:
Like, I thought I figured it out.

Eldar [00:44:09]:
No, but I think it was a life and death situation for you, probably, right.

Eldar [00:44:12]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:44:12]:
I would have been, like, a. Like, a total fat, like, slob loser. 100%.

Eldar [00:44:16]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Phillip [00:44:17]:
That's how I would envision myself, like, yeah.

Eldar [00:44:19]:
Hopeless.

Eldar [00:44:20]:
Right.

Eldar [00:44:20]:
Helpless, hopeless and stuff like that.

Phillip [00:44:21]:
Like, card things. You're watching Cartman from South park, where he just, like, had the episode. He was playing, like, the game and in his basement, and, like, his mother would have to come downstairs. He'd press a button so he didn't have to get up off the chair, and his mother would come downstairs and bring him the food, and he would just literally poop in a basket, and she would take the poop and breathe so he wouldn't have to get up. I'm just saying, this is extreme example, but this is where my head goes. Like, if I'm sitting in bed watching video games, uber eats, and, like, I didn't have to do anything, like, I'd be a total mess.

Eldar [00:44:48]:
You know what I'm saying?

Phillip [00:44:49]:
Like, I didn't have.

Eldar [00:44:50]:
So you're just a functioning mess right now.

Phillip [00:44:51]:
I'm a functioning mess.

Eldar [00:44:55]:
You like that t shirt? I'm a functioning mess.

Phillip [00:44:57]:
With my face.

Mike [00:44:58]:
With your face.

Eldar [00:44:59]:
I'm a functioning mess.

Phillip [00:45:01]:
A mess that walks around in New York City.

Eldar [00:45:03]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:45:03]:
I'm a functioning mess.

Eldar [00:45:05]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:45:06]:
Like, it's. It's definitely kind of shitty to think about, but also, I guess. I guess it's funny in a sense.

Eldar [00:45:12]:
It's funny, but I think you learn.

Katherine [00:45:13]:
How to laugh at yourself, for sure.

Eldar [00:45:15]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:45:16]:
But I think also it could be very liberating.

Katherine [00:45:18]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:45:19]:
Right. Because.

Eldar [00:45:19]:
Because even though you might not see the path to victory yet, you understand that there. There could be a path, right. And you can actually peek there to see whether or not what's out there on the other side is actually lucrative or nice or not too scary. What are you thinking, Mike?

Katherine [00:45:35]:
What's happening? What's happening right now?

Mike [00:45:40]:
I don't want to hit him with, like, the crazy blows. I'm gonna take it easy today.

Phillip [00:45:46]:
You guys go on vacation.

Mike [00:45:48]:
See, just do what you guys saying makes sense.

Phillip [00:45:51]:
Yeah, don't sugarcoat it.

Mike [00:45:54]:
My question is, all the stuff that you're doing, who told you to do it?

Phillip [00:46:02]:
Nobody.

Mike [00:46:03]:
Somebody told you that some. Your belief systems, right. Of, like, how the morning routine should be.

Phillip [00:46:08]:
Oh, like, just discipline and routine. Yeah, yeah. I'd say it was like, if I had a.

Eldar [00:46:12]:
If I.

Phillip [00:46:13]:
That's definitely a mishmash of, like, let's say, wayne diet, tolly Robbins, my somebody.

Eldar [00:46:19]:
I looked up to all the Internet.

Phillip [00:46:23]:
Instagram, like, yeah, if I had to do it, I'd say it's accumulation of everything that I've taken in so far. So I wouldn't say it's in one particular.

Mike [00:46:31]:
So you, a bunch of people molded, told you a bunch of shit that sounded good. Like, right. And you absorb that information, and I made it. You made it your own.

Eldar [00:46:38]:
Yes.

Mike [00:46:39]:
But instead of deducing, like, hey, actually, is this good for me because this works for me, or is it good for me because somebody sound said it and it sounds good.

Eldar [00:46:49]:
It's good because you esteem somebody who else is up there is doing it, and you esteem them. Therefore, you tag along with that person.

Katherine [00:46:56]:
And they're showing you that they're living a lifestyle that perhaps, like, you're like, oh, that's how I want to.

Eldar [00:47:01]:
Your gurus. But I was. The difference between putting your faith in those gurus and this types of conversation is that ultimately you need to understand that you will actually have that ability right within yourself to reason and deduce the conclusions. You become the power, and you have the power in order to not listen to, what the fuck are they saying out there so you can start listening to yourself. That's the ultimate goal.

Phillip [00:47:24]:
But I have to also ask, where is it serving me when I would think about, like, okay, creating a vision board. Like, okay, putting finance first and attachment to that.

Mike [00:47:32]:
Wait, you had a vision board?

Phillip [00:47:36]:
So what I would realize is that, like, putting things first, it never got me anywhere, right? Like, it never got me what I actually wanted. But whether I thought about it consciously or not, and I made the decision to say, like, okay, I'm going to start doing this walking and, like, having a Saturday routine. And when I started doing it, it actually did serve me. So, like, this was something that, like, I actually put into practice and experimented with versus, let's say, the vision board, where I was doing these things, putting these into practice, praying, visualizing, whatever, not getting those things. I realized, okay, this is not serving me. But the walking for me did because it was mitigating the pain. Getting me out of my house on Saturday, being more social, being around people, going out to dinners more and, like, being, I guess, at least happier, at least from. From what I monitored.

Phillip [00:48:22]:
So to me, this one, the difference, I put it into practice, and I am seeing it. But now that, the fact that you're bringing this up and saying, you know, you know, is this something that's just a band aid. And now having the experience I had this morning is making me rethink the whole process.

Eldar [00:48:37]:
Mm hmm.

Phillip [00:48:38]:
Now I'm back to square one.

Eldar [00:48:41]:
Well, don't give up so easily.

Phillip [00:48:44]:
Well, no. Well, square one is definitely fight back. Square one is. Is realizing the fail that today was a failed experiment. Sitting in bed and doing nothing is 100% not the answer.

Eldar [00:48:55]:
And I don't think that's what is recommended here either.

Eldar [00:48:57]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:48:58]:
You know what I mean? Ultimately, I think that you've, what you witnessed is that is you witness that, which is has been band aid over with the things that you've, you know, included in your life for that reason. You did that for the reason of. To calm this state down.

Phillip [00:49:15]:
Right. But I haven't explored this state.

Eldar [00:49:17]:
Correct, correct, correct.

Eldar [00:49:19]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Mike [00:49:19]:
I don't know what's the core of it, you know?

Eldar [00:49:21]:
And I think.

Eldar [00:49:22]:
I think that if you find the courage in yourself to sit with that state and really find out, I think you'll get there, like, hey, like, like, what's up? Like, what is this? What am I actually feeling and why? You know what I mean? If you start spending some prolonged time with yourself in that state, I think you'll get some cues and some clues.

Eldar [00:49:44]:
Right there, you know?

Eldar [00:49:45]:
If, of course, if you. If you have it in you, I don't think it's an easy task to do, you know, to sit on almost an absorb that pain and try not trying to. Try to listen to it. Like, why am I experiencing this? Like, what are you trying to tell me?

Phillip [00:49:59]:
Oh, this Saturday, it's happening, huh? Oh, this Saturday. Yeah. It's getting put into practice.

Eldar [00:50:04]:
You know what I'm saying?

Mike [00:50:04]:
Like, are you gonna sit and sit in the painful state piss pool?

Phillip [00:50:10]:
I already did it today.

Mike [00:50:11]:
But you're gonna do it again Saturday.

Phillip [00:50:13]:
I will do so the difference what but I have in my mind is that I'm going to wake up, do my thing, go to the city and take breaks in between.

Eldar [00:50:23]:
Because, like you said, you know, I.

Phillip [00:50:24]:
Yelled at you for not stopping, but you forgive me, which is nice.

Mike [00:50:29]:
I might, but I might.

Phillip [00:50:31]:
Forgive me, but, yeah, so that's my. My new. So that's my new remedy right now, is getting up, doing my walking, and instead of just being a total nut and just buzzing around non stop, taking maybe little 1015 minutes breaks and, you know, doing what you suggest, although, which is, you know, actually asking, sitting down and just saying, like, if it comes to you again.

Eldar [00:50:50]:
Right.

Eldar [00:50:50]:
Like, what is this?

Mike [00:50:51]:
Why this?

Eldar [00:50:52]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:50:52]:
Like, why are you here? You know, what lessons are you here to teach me or what things that I need to discover in order to really understand at a core level, right. Like Catherine said, and deduce things and start seeing things for what they are and start changing in accordance to that.

Eldar [00:51:07]:
I think they can. These are.

Eldar [00:51:08]:
These are the breadcrumbs. This is the end of the breadcrumbs that you feel, and I think the pain. But if you follow those breadcrumbs, I think you'll find it.

Eldar [00:51:16]:
Mm hmm.

Eldar [00:51:17]:
You know, I think you'll find it if it's like this. Like you said, some deep sadness, sad state, right?

Eldar [00:51:28]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Phillip [00:51:29]:
That's how I would describe it. I would say it's a deep. Just from, like, a physical, mental standpoint, definitely pain, but I would describe it as a deep sadness.

Eldar [00:51:36]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Eldar [00:51:38]:
How about loneliness?

Phillip [00:51:40]:
I don't anymore. Like, I feel, like, connected.

Eldar [00:51:43]:
Like, it cannot be connected to that sadness, like, feeling actually lonely.

Phillip [00:51:48]:
No, I found that I do actually value time by myself. Like, I like spending time like. Like this.

Eldar [00:51:55]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:51:55]:
And then I do like that I go home and I have time to myself. So when I do feel like that, I feel like it's more of a disconnect on who I am and my output, what I'm doing, and the value discrepancy. I don't associate it with, oh, I need somebody this weekend, or I was talking to somebody, I had a fun time with somebody, and I'm not thinking about, oh, I want to do this again, or, I need a relationship. I'm not thinking of needing to be with somebody or not be with somebody. So I'm not associating the word lonely.

Eldar [00:52:36]:
Okay.

Phillip [00:52:37]:
I think it, to me, it's more my purpose and, like, my identity as an individual.

Eldar [00:52:41]:
Yeah, yeah.

Mike [00:52:44]:
Oh, my thinking is what I said. Like, I don't know. I said that my theory is that a lot of our suffering, maybe all of our suffering, comes from not knowing our purpose, and. And that's when we get in trouble, we do things that our purpose and being happy, I think they come hand in hand, if not the same thing, right? When we're doing things that don't line up with us being happy and fulfilling our purpose, following a purpose, we get into trouble, which is bad states of mind, bad choices, bad actions, right? Those all things. So if there's a smoke, if there's a fire right now and you have a sadness because of something with your morning routine, then that means that you're doing things that are not making you happy in that routine because they don't actually line up with your values, who you are. You're having an internal conflict between a body and a mind.

Eldar [00:53:46]:
Okay?

Mike [00:53:47]:
So you slow down enough to, to actually see that pain. Instead of running out of the house to go do a million things, you slow down enough to feel that pain. So what's happening is you're going to the gym, for example, but you hate it and you're miserable. And now you're sitting at home and you're beating yourself up because you hate the gym, but you have to do it because you want to look a certain way. And you have a sadness. I don't know if you're going to get sad from that, but I guess you probably could. So that's what I'm thinking. You're doing a bunch of little things and we can't know those things because we don't.

Mike [00:54:21]:
But if you start inspecting, like, hey, first thing in the morning, why am I getting up? And I'm going looking at social media, like, what does that do to my brain, for example?

Eldar [00:54:29]:
Right?

Mike [00:54:30]:
I'm not saying you do that, but, like, I hear a lot of people saying, like, you know these, uh, YouTube TikTok guys, like, yo, social media, it's like frying your brains. Don't touch your phone for the first 2 hours of you waking up. That's their thing that they had a problem with. I may be able to get on the thing, go for two for half an hour, and that's what I need because it takes me now. Before I used to wake up, jump out of bed and boom, I'm out. Like, I'm buzzing now I need 40 minutes, but I probably needed it before, but I was not respecting myself and now I need 40 minutes because it's like scrolling, but it helps me to wake up because I find some articles that I might like, find some interesting, I might read or just browsing. It gives my body time to wake up. So it's those little things, a combination of little things that you don't actually like.

Mike [00:55:23]:
That's why I was asking who installed these things in you? You know, who. Who's the person that told you that you should live this way?

Eldar [00:55:28]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:55:29]:
And I mean, the whole morning routine shit.

Eldar [00:55:31]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:55:32]:
It's like a big fucking topic out there.

Mike [00:55:33]:
Huge.

Eldar [00:55:34]:
I've heard it.

Eldar [00:55:35]:
Like, especially, like, people that are all.

Mike [00:55:36]:
About, like, productivity, neuroscience.

Katherine [00:55:38]:
Well, I think it should. It's worth mentioning that, like, it's really, like, the buzz right now for these types of motivational speakers starting your day.

Eldar [00:55:49]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:55:49]:
Everybody's asking, like, if you're successful, like, oh, shit, what do you do? Like, what? Yeah, what's your routine?

Katherine [00:55:54]:
What's your, like, what? Everybody is different around interviewing people who are successful and.

Eldar [00:56:01]:
Yeah.

Katherine [00:56:01]:
And became great at one thing. People want to. It's almost like that knowledge what works for them might not work for us.

Eldar [00:56:08]:
You know, the thing is, if it's being told this way, if somebody can answer the question, say, yeah, like, you got to do this. Like, to me, that's like fucking horseshit. Like, that's fucking snake oil, bro.

Phillip [00:56:17]:
So, yeah, where my, where my head goes with that is, I know with the nutritional therapy, when I was talking about it for my mom and talking about with my friend. Yeah, he was, he's very, very into diet, and he understands this. But the way that he was explaining it to me was that if you hear somebody online just saying, like, oh, you have to eat an apple, you have to eat vegetables, you have to eat this. These people are just giving you general ideas. So just because they tell you to eat broccoli, it might not be it. So with the nutritional therapy, the whole goal is everything's customized for the person, meaning that you're going to take your blood work, they're going to understand what your levels are, and they're going to give you a prescribed plan. So let's say in Mike's example, right? Like, let's say if they can break down, like, your psychology and say, like, hey, in the morning, you can do social media, you can exercise, you can do this, like, based off of, like, how your brain frequency is, like, you're allowed to do social media, you're not. To me, the way that people are talking about morning routines, unless you're going to break down this actual person's psychology and their brain frequency and how they actually act after sleeping and not sleeping, doing social media, making your bed, you're shooting everything in the dark.

Eldar [00:57:23]:
Correct. And that's why people are following through these things, assuming that this line they need blindly like you, right? And then you're waking up, you doing it, and you don't know what you're fucking doing.

Phillip [00:57:33]:
Dangerous information.

Eldar [00:57:34]:
It's absolutely dangerous.

Phillip [00:57:35]:
Dangerous information.

Eldar [00:57:36]:
Yeah, absolutely.

Phillip [00:57:37]:
This is the danger of social medias, to me, is all the information that you're getting and then what your attachment could be to it, whether I know it or not. I would say when I was, I guess, more searching for something when I was younger, like, I would watch, like, Tony Robbins and wait. I would watch hours. Like, I wouldn't go out. I would sit home on my computer. I put the CD in my laptop, and, like, I would watch seminars for hours and hours and hours. Personal development, healing, spirituality, diet, routine, like, all these things. Like, I would be, like, a total student now.

Eldar [00:58:08]:
That's where you get the 10% of knowing yourself.

Phillip [00:58:10]:
10%? Yeah, a little morsel. But now. Now without me, like, maybe having a real, like, intention of doing this, I'm just getting kind of indirect information through, like, little ten or 15 2nd snippets on TikTok or Instagram or whatever. But I don't think I'm as influenced as it now. I think I'm probably shaped more into whatever it was over, like, a ten or 15 year period.

Eldar [00:58:34]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:58:35]:
But I can understand now if somebody is maybe Tony Robbins.

Eldar [00:58:38]:
You fucking listening? You look what you did to my man.

Phillip [00:58:39]:
You motherfucker. But, yeah, if you're.

Eldar [00:58:43]:
How many people you fucking did this to?

Phillip [00:58:44]:
You understand if you're 15 or 17.

Mike [00:58:46]:
The whole population is brainwashed, bro. What do you mean?

Eldar [00:58:48]:
Yeah, my bad.

Eldar [00:58:49]:
But think.

Phillip [00:58:49]:
But think about if you're a teenager now and your way of getting information is TikTokers in these little towns.

Eldar [00:58:55]:
And the motherfuckers that are.

Eldar [00:58:56]:
Yeah, yeah.

Eldar [00:58:57]:
That are viral are these guys.

Phillip [00:58:58]:
So, yeah, you're. You're getting little, like, instant doses of 1015 seconds and then, boom. 1015 seconds.

Eldar [00:59:04]:
Boom.

Phillip [00:59:04]:
From another person. So you're gonna get information from maybe a thousand different sources.

Eldar [00:59:08]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:59:08]:
And you're jumbled in your brain. Exactly. So I don't know what the fuck you're doing.

Phillip [00:59:12]:
I think this right now, learning and shaping your brain with this. This environment, because it's so fast and quick from so many different angles, I think it's worse.

Eldar [00:59:20]:
Oh, yeah.

Phillip [00:59:21]:
Because it's so much more from so many different sources.

Eldar [00:59:24]:
Maybe it's worse, but maybe it's better because you get to the depression and deep sadness faster to it quicker.

Eldar [00:59:29]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:59:29]:
Yeah, that could be it. That could be the shining light.

Eldar [00:59:32]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:59:33]:
The silver lining.

Phillip [00:59:35]:
Yeah, silver lining. Yeah, I can see that.

Eldar [00:59:36]:
You know what I'm saying?

Eldar [00:59:37]:
Because, you know, if you. If you're gonna fry themselves that quick because of all this information, the faster the comments finally ask themselves. I mean, if they don't take a long nap in the process, obviously.

Eldar [00:59:46]:
Mm hmm.

Eldar [00:59:46]:
You know, they might come to themselves.

Mike [00:59:51]:
Yeah. They're trying to make robots out of people.

Eldar [00:59:54]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. By saying machines like fuck.

Eldar [00:59:59]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:59:59]:
You know, what are we talking about here?

Phillip [01:00:01]:
See, the cool thing is that, like, questioning these things.

Eldar [01:00:04]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:00:04]:
Like, cuz I would. I wouldn't even question anything. I would just be like, this is for me, or it's not for me.

Eldar [01:00:10]:
One thing. I can tell you the truth. There's nobody better out there than you.

Eldar [01:00:13]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:00:14]:
There is nobody out there better than you.

Eldar [01:00:16]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:00:16]:
You understand this or no, no, you, you understand, like, you as a human being is a fucking. Already a phenomena, a fucking gem, everything.

Eldar [01:00:26]:
You know what I mean?

Eldar [01:00:26]:
Like, and people don't say this shit. This is for everybody. There's nobody better than Katherine. There's no better than Mike. There's nobody better than me. You know what I'm saying? We're all individuals and we have magic. It's automatically innately installed in us. We are special.

Eldar [01:00:41]:
You know what I'm saying? Those fucking vampires out there trying to suck that. Suck that out of us, you know, by telling you that what you are is actually not right.

Phillip [01:00:49]:
Like, taking the power away from.

Eldar [01:00:50]:
Correct.

Phillip [01:00:51]:
Putting it in them.

Eldar [01:00:52]:
Correct.

Mike [01:00:52]:
The power is that you if with the right, like, getting to know yourself, understanding yourself. The power is you are your best doctor. Nobody, once you have a good critical thinking skills and reasons, you're gonna diagnose everything that's bothering you. The morning routine, the night routine, the eating. And you're gonna understand it and you're gonna. Because nobody can say what's actually the cause. Nobody knows you as well as you. Go to a doctor sees you, three minutes, okay, here, go fuck off.

Mike [01:01:19]:
Take this medicine or do this. It's three minutes out of your life versus 30, 40 years of you fucking getting to know yourself, understanding things that, you know, make you tick and. But it takes time and it takes a lot of.

Eldar [01:01:32]:
You are in the meat grinder of this fucking world. You know what I'm saying?

Eldar [01:01:35]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:01:36]:
But if you. If you start early, right. If you start thinking, yeah, you. You develop critical thought.

Eldar [01:01:40]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:01:41]:
Critical thinking.

Eldar [01:01:41]:
That.

Eldar [01:01:41]:
That ability to actually fucking deduce and find truth for yourself.

Eldar [01:01:45]:
Yeah. You.

Eldar [01:01:46]:
That's your fucking magic.

Eldar [01:01:48]:
That's right.

Eldar [01:01:48]:
So you can then navigate the world and yourself in such a way where it's fucking congruent and you're not always fucking confused as to, like, why do I feel the way I do? One man's waking up, you know, at his age, not knowing why he feels the way he feels.

Phillip [01:02:00]:
Yeah, help me.

Eldar [01:02:02]:
You know what I'm saying?

Eldar [01:02:03]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:02:04]:
He's not alone.

Mike [01:02:05]:
Yeah, 100% he's not alone.

Eldar [01:02:07]:
Not alone.

Mike [01:02:07]:
A lot of people are. That's why these people are so popular, because their shit appeals to everybody. So many people are waking up or living their lives, they're not happy. That why you think all these fucking, you know, guru self talk, all this routine shit.

Eldar [01:02:20]:
Why?

Mike [01:02:21]:
Because they know that so many people are suffering. But a lot of people are very far, or maybe not, but people are far from actually developing their own mechanism, their ability to bind themselves so they can see what's actually happening within without everything, you know, be able to have honest and critical thinking.

Eldar [01:02:42]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:02:42]:
Yeah, man. This, this fucking thing is literally so robotic. Robotic that is trying to fucking put you in this box of not thinking. Yeah, to not think. It's waking up. You got pain? Like, no, no, no. I gotta disregard this pain, bro. I got things to do.

Eldar [01:02:56]:
Yeah, they told me to do a, B, C, D before fucking five. Five am, wake up. Mark Warburg wakes up at three in the morning. What the fuck?

Mike [01:03:04]:
Yeah, he's stupid.

Eldar [01:03:05]:
That's crazy.

Eldar [01:03:06]:
You know what I'm saying? Like, if people go, what do you do for, get the fuck out of here. People want to copy am probably wake up at 09:00 a.m.. Bro.

Eldar [01:03:12]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:03:12]:
Then I got a fucking roll on my bed, you know, for an hour to like, okay, get my wits about me, bro. Nothing wrong with that.

Mike [01:03:18]:
Nothing wrong with that.

Eldar [01:03:19]:
What the fuck?

Mike [01:03:20]:
And that's part of knowing yourself and saying, yeah, hey, maybe I know what I like. I know what makes me just a bob about it.

Eldar [01:03:27]:
I want to cuddle my dogs.

Mike [01:03:28]:
You don't want to accept that. Yeah, fuck you.

Eldar [01:03:30]:
You know what? Productivity, bro? I get shit done later.

Mike [01:03:33]:
Exactly.

Eldar [01:03:33]:
You know what I'm saying? When my gears kick in, I have to know myself. When they kick in, they kick in later. I have to have my fucking tea with milk.

Eldar [01:03:39]:
That's right.

Eldar [01:03:40]:
You have to take a good shit. You know, so, you know, to disregard that, like, the humanness of us and just to put us through like a little, like a fucking conveyor belt of, you know, farming us. Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy.

Mike [01:03:54]:
That's the best. That's disconnected. You're experiencing, I think.

Eldar [01:03:56]:
And, yeah, you probably. Yeah, you. You probably were very not nice to yourself for a very long time. And you conditioned yourself so much that you can't even link back to, like, what happened.

Eldar [01:04:08]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:04:08]:
You know what I'm saying?

Mike [01:04:09]:
Yeah, because here, like, you're not even checking, like, with those tony Robbins, whoever you said, mark Zuckerberg, whatever you listen to.

Eldar [01:04:17]:
Yeah, those zipper heads, whatever, listening to.

Mike [01:04:20]:
You're not even in ounce of a doubt that those guys are knuckleheads. They don't shit about you. Yeah, that's the problem. That's why you cannot trace it. But if you understand, like, yo, those guys, they don't know shit about me. I'm fucking Philip, and I'm gonna decide who the fuck I am and how I'm gonna fucking live my life. That's what is happening. You're maybe trying to break through to that, but you still carrying those baggages and you're not thinking to look in there.

Mike [01:04:46]:
So it's like you're carrying a bag of shit with you, you know, a bag. Maybe it's might be all shit, might not be, but you're carrying something with you, but you're like, yo, I got to keep carrying this because those guys told me you're not thinking, like, maybe.

Eldar [01:04:58]:
We should double check what the fuck is in. What am I carrying here?

Phillip [01:05:00]:
Yeah, about my backpack.

Mike [01:05:03]:
That's 100% too.

Eldar [01:05:04]:
100%.

Mike [01:05:05]:
But all those belief systems that those guys implanted, the popular guys, now, Joe Rogan, Andrew Huberman. Those are the guys I know, right? Those guys, they're pedaling the shit. And you're not checking anymore because you esteem them, society steal them. They're getting paid millions dollar.

Eldar [01:05:19]:
Got the passes, bro.

Mike [01:05:20]:
They got the passes because the population said, yo, these guys, they know something. They have authority. They have money. It must be right. They're successful.

Eldar [01:05:29]:
Right.

Eldar [01:05:30]:
Then they know white slaps his wife on national television.

Mike [01:05:32]:
Exactly. They don't know shit.

Eldar [01:05:34]:
Just like they don't know shit.

Mike [01:05:36]:
No shit. If they did, they wouldn't be able to pedal this kind of generic shit.

Eldar [01:05:40]:
Correct.

Mike [01:05:41]:
You know?

Eldar [01:05:42]:
Correct.

Mike [01:05:42]:
Doesn't work for everybody.

Eldar [01:05:44]:
Correct. People.

Mike [01:05:46]:
Individual attention.

Eldar [01:05:47]:
Yeah, a hundred percent. A wraparound service where you can actually zoom in on individual, see what's actually going on, why it's going on.

Eldar [01:05:53]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:05:54]:
And then prescribe in accordance to what's actually fucking happening.

Eldar [01:05:57]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:05:57]:
Not just like, okay, cool. I just put everybody under this shit and see what happens.

Eldar [01:06:00]:
You know what I mean? Exactly.

Eldar [01:06:02]:
But, yeah, like you said, people buy it.

Eldar [01:06:04]:
I do.

Mike [01:06:05]:
You know, because there are tired, frustrated, and like Phil said, many years.

Eldar [01:06:11]:
And poor.

Mike [01:06:12]:
Mentally, mentally poor.

Eldar [01:06:13]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:06:14]:
And many years of the same feeling.

Eldar [01:06:16]:
They.

Mike [01:06:16]:
They're grasping for straws because they are so fed up, but they have no idea what to do. And their last thing is to think. Wait, let me, um. I'm me.

Eldar [01:06:25]:
Correct.

Mike [01:06:26]:
Let me look within.

Eldar [01:06:26]:
Correct. Special.

Eldar [01:06:28]:
I'm special.

Mike [01:06:28]:
I can't be empowered.

Eldar [01:06:29]:
That's right.

Mike [01:06:30]:
Because nobody's out there saying, yo, no, of course not. Where's not good for business?

Eldar [01:06:37]:
It's not good for business. This is not good for business.

Phillip [01:06:40]:
Why didn't I learn this?

Eldar [01:06:43]:
Because it's marketing too.

Eldar [01:06:44]:
Like. Right.

Eldar [01:06:45]:
It's like anything else. Good marketing, good sales taxes and all sort of shit.

Eldar [01:06:48]:
Right?

Eldar [01:06:48]:
What appeals and stuff, you know?

Mike [01:06:50]:
So you cannot have a million people. Those guys, they cannot. They cannot make millions and millions of dollars working with one person at a time. Getting to know them.

Eldar [01:07:00]:
Yes.

Mike [01:07:01]:
And getting to know their problems.

Eldar [01:07:02]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:07:02]:
You don't have time for that.

Eldar [01:07:04]:
No.

Mike [01:07:04]:
You understand? Like, it takes years to get to know a person.

Eldar [01:07:08]:
You know, to break your dumbass.

Mike [01:07:10]:
To break it. Unless they say, y'all only deal with clients. I want fucking 100 billion up front. I'll fix your life in five years.

Eldar [01:07:16]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:07:16]:
Gonna do that.

Eldar [01:07:17]:
Nobody. Then they can. They.

Mike [01:07:19]:
They can make crazy money, which is what they want to make.

Eldar [01:07:21]:
Correct.

Mike [01:07:22]:
And think that they're helping people.

Eldar [01:07:23]:
Correct.

Mike [01:07:24]:
You know, and think like they're helping people. Dennis, I got the gun out today.

Eldar [01:07:29]:
You better watch out. Yeah. Fucking yeah.

Mike [01:07:31]:
Don't let me. Don't let me get to your thinking.

Eldar [01:07:34]:
Oh, man.

Mike [01:07:37]:
I'll do it for free.

Phillip [01:07:37]:
Kill my.

Eldar [01:07:38]:
Before he starts, you know, storming in here, trying to come back and try to. Shots fired on you.

Mike [01:07:43]:
He's, like, trying to follow my dirty laundry.

Eldar [01:07:44]:
Right? He.

Eldar [01:07:45]:
Boo is low, bro. He got nothing to say, bro.

Mike [01:07:46]:
He has nothing.

Eldar [01:07:47]:
Yeah, he retired.

Phillip [01:07:48]:
No, I. Yeah, all this resonates with me. Um, but, yeah, again, it's just like. It's going back to, like, seeing the value of, like, what we're doing here. Like this.

Mike [01:07:58]:
That's the thing.

Phillip [01:07:59]:
Like, value.

Eldar [01:07:59]:
Correct, correct. But you know why this is happening in the first place? This magic?

Phillip [01:08:03]:
Because I'm awesome.

Eldar [01:08:05]:
There you go. Right?

Eldar [01:08:06]:
Because you allowing yourself to be yourself. You know what I mean? Catherine, too, she has a lot to say. She's very funny. You know what I'm saying? But she's been put down for so long that she's been scared to say it.

Katherine [01:08:17]:
I've been putting myself down. You understand?

Eldar [01:08:19]:
So now she go into those relationships, new relationships.

Eldar [01:08:22]:
Right.

Eldar [01:08:22]:
And she's trying to be more funny, trying to challenge them. And she's seeing, like, holy shit, like, actually the person that I used to think that I fucked with. Like, they giving me the ick, right. Or the person that I used to not fuck with. They understand me.

Eldar [01:08:35]:
Yeah. Right.

Eldar [01:08:35]:
It's becoming a reverse effect, you know, because she's actually introducing herself, her true self, not only to herself, but now into the external world. And she's seeing what's coming back and coming and coming in.

Phillip [01:08:46]:
That's cool.

Katherine [01:08:47]:
The way I see, the way I see the world and people has changed.

Phillip [01:08:51]:
You see better.

Eldar [01:08:52]:
And she's empowered now. She has magic. She understands, she has that now she just has to keep digging for more of it. You know what I mean? How do you do it?

Katherine [01:08:59]:
Comfortable. You have to keep going.

Eldar [01:09:00]:
You have to keep going or you're gonna keep going into that same trench that you guys dug out for yourself. And you know that dirty trench. You know that dirty hole. Depression and sadness.

Eldar [01:09:09]:
Right.

Eldar [01:09:10]:
That's why it's very interesting, though, that I told you about some of the things that you're gonna experience with your mom, right. A different way of looking at it, right. With these girls that you about to invite to your house, right. To see where that lands and how that's gonna be and see whether or not you actually, you know, can be yourself. Not just an environment where we actually promote this, we actually are about this, you know what I mean? But more so out there in the world where that world might say, shit. What's going on with Philip? He's changing.

Phillip [01:09:39]:
They're colombian girls, so they'll be cool, right? Yes.

Eldar [01:09:43]:
They don't know what was about to hit him.

Eldar [01:09:46]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:09:47]:
If I'm. If he's gonna have some courage, they're not gonna know what's gonna hit him.

Mike [01:09:51]:
He's gonna have too much fun trolling them, cuz they're gonna be themselves.

Eldar [01:09:54]:
Yeah. Yeah. And it.

Eldar [01:09:56]:
Philip's gonna see everything, every action, every reaction. And he's gonna like, holy shit.

Phillip [01:10:00]:
Hopefully find some courage to make it.

Katherine [01:10:02]:
Harder, maybe to connect with people.

Phillip [01:10:05]:
Correct.

Eldar [01:10:06]:
Good way, but correct. Because the gate becomes tighter.

Katherine [01:10:09]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:10:10]:
And you don't let in all the scum.

Phillip [01:10:11]:
You don't exactly have a very serious.

Katherine [01:10:13]:
Like, your gatekeeper is a lot more strict.

Eldar [01:10:16]:
And then we can transition into Mike's topic about having the proper gate in order to let in the proper people into your life and not waste your time on the ones that actually don't relate and don't understand you at your core level. You know what I'm saying?

Eldar [01:10:28]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:10:28]:
That's a very important.

Katherine [01:10:30]:
Which ties into all this is worth.

Eldar [01:10:33]:
This is not. This is actually coming and saying, okay, cool. This person maybe has some value.

Eldar [01:10:38]:
Agree.

Eldar [01:10:39]:
But now let's actually see and test whether or not that value is legitimate by challenging them, by saying things for what they are and seeing if they can keep up with your conversation.

Katherine [01:10:47]:
What I wanted to link it to is how important that is when you're dating. Oh, percent.

Eldar [01:10:53]:
But it starts with regular relationships.

Katherine [01:10:55]:
Exactly. Because it affects all the relationships.

Eldar [01:10:57]:
But I think it starts with your parents, and then it bleeds over to your relationships. And Mike has a perfect thing. He's, you know, I mean, if you want to share about it, personal experience about how he, a lot of the times, ate a lot of the shit internally just in order to hang out with the other person.

Eldar [01:11:15]:
Mm hmm.

Eldar [01:11:16]:
Because Mike was missing a hangout person.

Katherine [01:11:17]:
And completely, completely dismissing his value, what he has to offer.

Eldar [01:11:22]:
Correct.

Mike [01:11:22]:
Yeah. I mean, there's so many examples.

Katherine [01:11:27]:
You guys have enough time?

Eldar [01:11:29]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:11:30]:
Would you guys like to hear all the examples?

Mike [01:11:33]:
I mean, no.

Eldar [01:11:34]:
You have to ask the question whether or not will your aDd or ADHD or other mental condition allow you to stay tuned in order to really see what Mike has to say.

Eldar [01:11:44]:
Wow.

Eldar [01:11:45]:
Probably not.

Eldar [01:11:46]:
No.

Mike [01:11:47]:
Well, I'm gonna say it anyway.

Eldar [01:11:48]:
Yeah, say it anyway. Yeah, say it anyway.

Eldar [01:11:51]:
One day you might come back to it. Not today, but one day you might come back to it.

Mike [01:11:56]:
Yeah. I mean, I can give a recent example that happened just today, you know, so I had a recent example today when I told you in the morning that I went to Berlin and I came back already.

Phillip [01:12:09]:
Oh, yeah. What was that?

Eldar [01:12:11]:
Oh, yeah. Good. Yeah.

Mike [01:12:12]:
So my friend, or I don't know, maybe. I'm not sure he's a friend.

Eldar [01:12:16]:
Somebody he just, he just redefined. I was like, wait a second. Why am I using this term? Yeah, see, and that's also an example of you paying attention to the words that you're using.

Eldar [01:12:25]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:12:25]:
You're trying to express yourself correctly before you will lally gagging. When you try to talk about serious topics, you constantly look for the wrong fucking terms. And you always mix those things up. And now you're like, wait a second. Why am I saying this word? To describe this person? And you're careful to correct yourself. I think this is very important. That's, that's showing you, you fucking building connections and paying attention. Realm of your brain.

Eldar [01:12:46]:
That's great.

Eldar [01:12:47]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:12:47]:
He could be some zipper hat.

Mike [01:12:48]:
Probably the guy, a guy who I thought was my friend because when I was a different person and we stay in touch, you know, he lives in Germany when we stay in touch with a few times and I talked to him and on the phone. So he hits me up today. In the morning, we're chatting a little bit. He's like, hey, you want to come by, hang out in Berlin, you know? And my initial thing is like, yo, jump, I'm ready to go. Like, I didn't look at flights yet, but I was ready to go.

Eldar [01:13:16]:
You knew how many points you had on?

Mike [01:13:17]:
I knew how many points I have. I knew how many points out exactly where. So my first thing was like, okay, let's go. And then he asked me a question. He's like, hey, yeah, I'm like, I'm down. And then, you know, we kind of like texting. He's like, you have an idea what you like to do? And then I'm like, I don't really have an idea, but we can hang out in Berlin a few days. And then, you know, I looked in the map and I saw what countries are nearby and I was like, yo, Budapest is a really cool country, you know, I mean, Hungary is a really cool country.

Mike [01:13:49]:
And I wanted to check out Budapest, Czech Republic, right? I was like, yo, those two countries, we can hit that. And then he goes to me, okay, so you want to go hit up a couple of whorehouses? And I'm like, what the fuck? Why is he talking to me like this, you know? I guess so. Yeah, I guess so. And that's what he thought that I was insinuating, that, like, I'm gonna come in and we're gonna do that. We're gonna do this, kind of like, you know, hanging out like that. And I got offended and right away I got the ick, you know, and because, like, why is he have this impression of me? And I don't want people to have this impression of me and I don't have this impression of me, cuz that's not what I want. So it made me think, you know, like, hey, this guy doesn't know me. He doesn't understand me.

Mike [01:14:34]:
Like, what the fuck are we gonna do?

Katherine [01:14:35]:
Maybe your interest. You realize your interests aren't even aligned.

Mike [01:14:38]:
Yeah, yeah, I want to go just hang out, which I always like to, you know, hang out, spend time with, with who I thought was my friend with and. But I never thought, like, hey, this person doesn't know me. He doesn't understand me. We don't have the same values and it's like, I'm going to spend time with a stranger. Like, am I desperate to do this? And not only that, he's putting me into a box as this, like, horny freak, this creep, you know?

Katherine [01:15:08]:
And I'm like, I wonder what Mike had said in the past that made this guy.

Mike [01:15:12]:
Yes.

Eldar [01:15:13]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:15:13]:
Well, because I've been to Germany, and I did.

Eldar [01:15:16]:
It's been to those places.

Mike [01:15:17]:
I've been to those places.

Eldar [01:15:19]:
Look, his hair still shows that he's been in there. Look at his old, messy hair. He still didn't recover.

Eldar [01:15:25]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:15:26]:
From the fuck fest three years ago.

Eldar [01:15:32]:
I'm just.

Mike [01:15:32]:
This is when you zoom in really.

Eldar [01:15:33]:
Close to his face, right?

Eldar [01:15:34]:
Yeah. Right.

Eldar [01:15:35]:
This will be a good visual right now, right?

Phillip [01:15:38]:
Oh, yeah.

Eldar [01:15:39]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:15:40]:
This is gonna be my new hairstyle for a little while. So used to it.

Eldar [01:15:46]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:15:47]:
So. And I was telling this story today to Eldar, and it made me feel like he does not know me, but it also. He does not understand me as a person, who I am, who I really am at the core. And. And that made me not want to hang out with him or go visit him at all. Like, it completely. The desire died. I got an ick.

Mike [01:16:08]:
And then the conversation I, like, I didn't want to defend myself and say, hey, I'm not this person anymore. But instead, I just kept trolling him and just saying stupid shit. He was taking my stupid shit seriously, and I just kept saying more stupid shit because now, like, I'm in troll mode because I'm not gonna get upset, because I understand. Like, hey, I was this person before who was down for this, and I was this person before, and it's fine for him to judge me on it because he does not know me. But if he wants to operate out of that, like, I'm not in a rush to, like, you know, get him to get to know me or really find out who I am. So I just kind of said, fuck it. So that helped me to understand. Like, hey, I have a gate.

Mike [01:16:49]:
I have to get a gate now that protects me from getting into situations, getting excited about these kind of things, and letting strangers in. Into. Into my place where I'm already, like, in my world, which is. Exists outside of his world. Like, our world did not. They don't match. You know?

Eldar [01:17:06]:
Got it. Like, everything that you were saying sparked a. An idea and another unlocking level in my head. Okay, so. So you excited? Yes.

Mike [01:17:19]:
He's wobbling his knees, bro.

Eldar [01:17:20]:
Look at him.

Mike [01:17:20]:
Please.

Eldar [01:17:21]:
I got.

Eldar [01:17:21]:
I got a good babe. I got a good one. You have to. I have to land this on you before you leave. So it'll stick. It'll come out maybe in a couple years. Based on the example that you gave me, you know what I thought of? I thought of what makes us humans happy as the continuum effect of that which we are living.

Eldar [01:17:39]:
Okay.

Eldar [01:17:40]:
You have a story here. This story is an ongoing story.

Eldar [01:17:45]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:17:45]:
My relationship with you, your relationship with Philip.

Eldar [01:17:47]:
Right.

Eldar [01:17:48]:
We know what you're working on. We know what you're suffering from. We know what makes you happy. All the. All this is a collaboration of all these things.

Eldar [01:17:57]:
Same.

Eldar [01:17:57]:
Vice versa for me.

Eldar [01:17:59]:
Right.

Eldar [01:17:59]:
We have a little story here.

Eldar [01:18:01]:
Right.

Eldar [01:18:02]:
And if anybody picks themselves up away from this story, that. That's broken.

Eldar [01:18:07]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:18:07]:
Continuation of it is broken, especially because the story is cool.

Eldar [01:18:10]:
Yeah. Right.

Mike [01:18:11]:
100%.

Eldar [01:18:12]:
So. So we're building this together.

Eldar [01:18:14]:
Right.

Eldar [01:18:15]:
And it's fun, and we have a good time anytime that's broken.

Eldar [01:18:18]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:18:19]:
That is what you're feeling.

Eldar [01:18:20]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:18:20]:
You are trying to break away for the second, for the moment.

Eldar [01:18:23]:
Right.

Eldar [01:18:23]:
And introduce a non continuation to your story.

Eldar [01:18:28]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:18:29]:
Because the other person almost has to catch up to the whole story that's being written here.

Eldar [01:18:33]:
Yeah. Right. Yeah.

Eldar [01:18:34]:
So think about that.

Eldar [01:18:36]:
Well, yeah.

Mike [01:18:36]:
One of the thoughts that I thought about as, like, yo, how am I gonna go on this trip? I'm gonna miss the podcast.

Eldar [01:18:41]:
Oh, there you go.

Mike [01:18:42]:
And I'm like, yeah, that was already. After I was already got a nick, and I started thinking about all this stuff, like, you know, correct the thoughts I went through initially and again continues, like, yo, like, I. I don't need this trip because everything that's happening here is very interesting. I'm very happy, very excited.

Eldar [01:18:56]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:18:57]:
But my initial response, which is probably, you know, from my old belief system, old habits, like, yeah, I'm down. This is, like, a sick idea. I love the training travel idea, you know, see my quote unquote friend. You know? Yeah.

Eldar [01:19:08]:
Like, yeah, no, but 100. The missing out part. I have the same feeling when you guys, for example, go on a walk and have a continuation and a talk. That's very interesting.

Eldar [01:19:17]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:19:18]:
And I wasn't there.

Eldar [01:19:19]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:19:19]:
And you guys tell me that you guys talk about something interesting. I look forward to that.

Eldar [01:19:23]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:19:23]:
That's the continuation of that development that we talked about before. It all starts to make sense and connect from all different, you know, spheres.

Mike [01:19:31]:
Totally.

Eldar [01:19:32]:
Journey, Catherine's journey, Philip's journey, your journey, my journey. It all fits like a puzzle, you know what I mean? At any time, part of that puzzle is not. I'm not part of. Yeah, it doesn't feel good. I feel like I'm missing out. Well, yeah, that same feeling.

Mike [01:19:45]:
That's how I felt when you guys had the spontaneous podcast yesterday or the chat yesterday.

Eldar [01:19:49]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:19:50]:
I felt like, yo, I went to, like, I went to go hang out with Teddy, and then I went to the gym.

Eldar [01:19:53]:
Correct.

Mike [01:19:54]:
To the pool. But I'm like, yo, fuck, I would cancel that stuff. I've been here.

Eldar [01:19:57]:
Correct.

Mike [01:19:58]:
Because it's relative to what? It's like you said, it's a story that's playing out in real life.

Eldar [01:20:03]:
Correct. It's a real story. It's real people. We're real examples in development.

Eldar [01:20:08]:
Yes.

Eldar [01:20:09]:
You know what I'm saying? And that is awesome. That is the magic. It's just we found this magic collectively.

Eldar [01:20:14]:
Yes.

Eldar [01:20:15]:
You understand?

Mike [01:20:16]:
Well, yeah, I think that's the cool part. When you bring people in.

Eldar [01:20:19]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:20:20]:
They fit into your story, and the story gets bigger.

Phillip [01:20:23]:
So Mike's a book.

Eldar [01:20:24]:
He.

Phillip [01:20:24]:
This guy knew chapter one. He's on chapter ten.

Eldar [01:20:27]:
He missed chapters two through ten.

Phillip [01:20:28]:
Nine or ten.

Eldar [01:20:29]:
That's right.

Phillip [01:20:30]:
And now Mike's like, yo, yo, fuck. You only knew chapter one, like, all this other shit.

Eldar [01:20:34]:
Correct.

Phillip [01:20:34]:
Then it becomes a matter of, like, how much. How much does somebody miss or that you have to miss in order to make it almost like. Like, irredeemable. Like, this person, like, how much time and effort are you gonna have to do to catch them up? And, like, how worth it is it, like, to that relationship? Like, how vital is it? This seems like a relationship that's dead.

Eldar [01:20:55]:
Oh, yeah, for sure.

Eldar [01:20:57]:
You know?

Eldar [01:20:57]:
For sure.

Phillip [01:20:58]:
But, you know, what can happen is that if he had similar path early, had similar circumstances, and, like, you are starting to grow, maybe your examples are different, but maybe you're going in the same direction, then it's easier to connect. But I think these examples, it seems like a guy like this, he probably seems like he's on a trajectory from where chapter one was going. Like, the opposite realm where, let's say, his. Mike's path now is on growth. This guy's still in party and pleasure mode.

Eldar [01:21:24]:
That's right.

Phillip [01:21:25]:
So to me, it makes it easier to make the decision now to dismiss this guy as a friend, because if you're growing apart, it's now, if you're not a people pleaser, which Mike is not, he's easily now able to identify that this person does not have his best interest. But more importantly, they're going in different directions.

Eldar [01:21:41]:
Correct.

Phillip [01:21:41]:
Now, this decision becomes very easy to me, in my eyes.

Eldar [01:21:43]:
Well, yeah.

Mike [01:21:44]:
Like, the journey is, we're not going to the same destination.

Phillip [01:21:46]:
Yeah, exactly.

Mike [01:21:47]:
Why do I need to detour? Just, like, if he comes to me and says, yo, actually, like, I want to understand what happened, why you didn't come, what's going on? Like, you've been distant. I can have absolutely have a conversation with him and tell him if he really wants to know, but, like, him up, I can catch him up. I'm not gonna go out of my way, you know, to kind of, like, say, because he has his own belief system with about me and he has his life. Like, he's not begging to come be a part of this story.

Eldar [01:22:15]:
Right.

Mike [01:22:16]:
You know, and I'm not gonna beg him to join it or, like, try to convince him. You know, it's like he.

Eldar [01:22:23]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:22:23]:
Before, I was looking at him as a friend, right. But now he's just like, he's an acquaintance. He's like a regular guy at the gym that I know, that I say hi to, and we have little small chat. It's like, yeah, he's not at this current time. He's not part of the story of my life, which is you guys.

Eldar [01:22:40]:
Yeah. And.

Mike [01:22:41]:
And, you know, all the things that actually ended on a day to day basis.

Phillip [01:22:44]:
The story realization was really good.

Eldar [01:22:46]:
You see?

Eldar [01:22:46]:
You feel it, right?

Phillip [01:22:47]:
Yeah, I was really good, bro.

Eldar [01:22:49]:
Like, when he was talking and I was, like, picturing what's the phenomena that's happening here.

Phillip [01:22:53]:
Yeah, that's really good. That helps put it all together. Make it.

Eldar [01:22:56]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:22:56]:
Very sense. It helps simplify it. Yeah, very easily. Like, people listening, even hearing the example, I think, like, that's like a aha. Type connect.

Eldar [01:23:04]:
That's what I had.

Eldar [01:23:04]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:23:05]:
Well, from his example, I was like, yo, why is this happening?

Phillip [01:23:07]:
That's really.

Eldar [01:23:08]:
Then I realized a whole. Holy shit. This is what's actually happening here.

Eldar [01:23:12]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:23:12]:
It's a continuum. It's a continuum that we are yearning for. So we want the continuum story.

Phillip [01:23:20]:
So think of ours, right? We had 2019, 2020, a break for three years, right. But for whatever reason, we were on a similar trajectory. Like, we're all very growth minded. People are all seeking the truth. We can be separated for x amount of years. I felt like I've only been together now, like, two months, but I feel like no time has passed from 2019 till now. If you told me to, like, analyze all those years, I don't think there's a separation in between those years and now.

Eldar [01:23:47]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:23:47]:
Time is, like, almost non existent.

Eldar [01:23:49]:
We're still catching you up.

Eldar [01:23:50]:
You.

Phillip [01:23:50]:
You are in certain things, yeah. But I would say on, like, kind of like, of what you learned in specifics, but from, like, a value perspective.

Eldar [01:23:58]:
I. Oh, yeah, for sure. It's the same. That's why I called you.

Phillip [01:24:01]:
Yeah, I think that's why I called you.

Eldar [01:24:02]:
I knew it.

Eldar [01:24:02]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:24:02]:
The things that, like, truly bond us, that transcend time, like truth and, like, growth and, like, those type of things that you value. Love and all that respect. Respect, like kindness, like.

Eldar [01:24:11]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:24:12]:
All those things to me are. They didn't change.

Eldar [01:24:15]:
I agree.

Eldar [01:24:16]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:24:16]:
Agree.

Eldar [01:24:16]:
So. Yeah.

Eldar [01:24:17]:
And we see that eye to eye. So it's a continuation. So that's why this is so organic and natural.

Eldar [01:24:22]:
Right.

Eldar [01:24:22]:
You know what I'm saying? But to me, the phenomenon of what's actually you experience in that moment all put in perspective. The fact that this is what we're going on is so important and why intrinsically, it has so much weight. You know what I'm saying?

Eldar [01:24:36]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:24:37]:
And when you try to take yourself away from this continuum, it's felt.

Mike [01:24:42]:
Well, yeah, that's.

Eldar [01:24:43]:
This is home.

Mike [01:24:44]:
This is home 100%.

Eldar [01:24:46]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:24:48]:
We were talking about this with Felix, about being close together.

Eldar [01:24:51]:
Longing.

Eldar [01:24:52]:
Yeah. Being close together.

Mike [01:24:53]:
Super important, because you guys.

Eldar [01:24:54]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:24:55]:
You really don't want to miss anything.

Eldar [01:24:56]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:24:57]:
There's like, every single time we talk, it's gold.

Eldar [01:24:59]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:25:00]:
Like, for me, I feel like I'm extracting gold from it hundred. Because it's very real. It's very good. It's helpful to me and I believe, helpful to everybody.

Eldar [01:25:12]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:25:12]:
You understand?

Phillip [01:25:13]:
Walking, doing, like, in between, make a sale, making a call. Just random conversations. Hey, I saw this last night. Hey, we did this. We can talk about basketball and maybe as a result of something happening, like, oh, but what about this? And you're like, oh, shit, like, I didn't think about it like this. Like, anything can be a topic. Pretty much.

Eldar [01:25:29]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:25:29]:
It's like we're just allowing that.

Eldar [01:25:31]:
Good. Yeah.

Phillip [01:25:31]:
We're allowing ourselves to live our life.

Eldar [01:25:33]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:25:33]:
And then everything can without us thinking about it. It's just we like to all. We all like to communicate. We all like to connect with people. We're all good at speaking. And whether we're good at expressing ourselves in certain ways or not, we're good at extracting certain things from certain situations.

Eldar [01:25:49]:
Something tells me the whole world, all the people in the world want this.

Eldar [01:25:52]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:25:53]:
Communicating.

Eldar [01:25:54]:
Communicating together.

Eldar [01:25:55]:
Connecting.

Eldar [01:25:56]:
Right.

Eldar [01:25:56]:
And having this ongoing story.

Eldar [01:25:58]:
Right.

Eldar [01:25:59]:
In such a way where it is hopeful, beneficial, you know, saying, challenging.

Eldar [01:26:07]:
You know?

Eldar [01:26:07]:
Yet, like you said, growth, growing.

Phillip [01:26:10]:
I think an audience you can attach that to an audience.

Eldar [01:26:12]:
Right?

Phillip [01:26:12]:
Like, people that are gonna listen to this podcast.

Eldar [01:26:14]:
Right.

Phillip [01:26:14]:
And keep listening. Yeah, like, that. That's gonna be something to where, like, you know, maybe eventually if people call in, you can know them, but obviously they're gonna know us and, like, our story. Like, we're being very vulnerable and, like, open and telling, like, our sharing, our examples. Like, we're not just talking, like, generalities. So, like, I think people will gravitate towards our stories and what they're doing and they can relate it to them. Like, when Kat has an example about herself, it sparks something in me. Like, yeah, I'm sure.

Phillip [01:26:39]:
Like, as we're talking about more specific examples, like, our listeners are gonna be like, yes. Like, this is making me think something about myself, so. And they're gonna want to be invested in our stories and, like, maybe us and theirs. But to me, sharing yourself is just something that to me, seems like very natural. I don't think any of us are trying to force anything. And in turn, it's like helping us all connect deeper and, like, getting to the bottom of things and just. It's actually making life a lot more fun.

Eldar [01:27:10]:
100%. Oh, yeah.

Eldar [01:27:11]:
Well, that's the whole point.

Phillip [01:27:11]:
We're trying to have fucking fun. Like, we're working here for our business, right. But this is like an extension of our business, but it's making the whole business and everything more fun. Going to lunch, driving to work.

Eldar [01:27:23]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:27:24]:
Going to watch a basketball game, like, having fun, going for a walk at our houses, going for a walk here, like going out to eat, like all these things that we do to me, like, everything's all intertwined. It's all fun.

Eldar [01:27:33]:
That's right.

Phillip [01:27:34]:
Like, work and pleasure and fun is all getting intertwined. And this is all stuff that I struggled with. And I think most people struggle with the personality of being at work, the personality of being in a relationship and being at home. It's like you're separating all these things through a box. And now, like, being myself to me is not having to be separated at any level. I'm able to dress how I want, talk how I want, and be how I want in all these different facets that were separating me.

Eldar [01:28:00]:
Do you understand what you just did or no?

Eldar [01:28:02]:
What's that?

Eldar [01:28:03]:
You just created the best job ad ever known to man.

Eldar [01:28:07]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:28:07]:
Do you understand this or no?

Phillip [01:28:08]:
This is real, though.

Eldar [01:28:09]:
I know at 1 minute and 28 seconds, I could chop this up, you understand? And I could put this out or what he just fucking said. Like, when they say write about your company. What do you do?

Mike [01:28:20]:
Whatever.

Phillip [01:28:20]:
Yeah, but do you remember how the.

Eldar [01:28:23]:
Fuck is not gonna fucking apply?

Eldar [01:28:25]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:28:25]:
Craziest pitch. He just fucking created even a pitch. Honest testimony.

Eldar [01:28:30]:
That's right.

Phillip [01:28:30]:
Do you remember in 2019? So I was looking for a job in 2019. I was trying to get out of the insurance business.

Eldar [01:28:35]:
Business.

Eldar [01:28:36]:
That's right.

Phillip [01:28:36]:
So you. I think it was a combination of you.

Eldar [01:28:38]:
Totally, right.

Phillip [01:28:40]:
You wrote something on Craigslist.

Eldar [01:28:42]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:28:42]:
I was going through all these different job ads, but you guys said something that was like totally different.

Eldar [01:28:47]:
What the fuck?

Phillip [01:28:48]:
Who out there?

Eldar [01:28:49]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:28:49]:
And I was interviewing with you guys. I remember sitting down in Paramus at the table and being like, yo, like, what you guys said, like, I didn't like it. Part of me was like, I don't know if it's real.

Eldar [01:28:59]:
You don't understand that. I will take this and I'm gonna make a job out of this.

Eldar [01:29:03]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:29:03]:
And we're gonna have more better people coming through these doors because of this.

Eldar [01:29:07]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:29:07]:
That's crazy. If they don't fuck with us, if they don't understand what you just said, that's the gate. Yeah, don't fuck with us. Don't come interview. But if you do fuck with us.

Eldar [01:29:15]:
But.

Phillip [01:29:16]:
But the crazy thing is though also the fact that. Cuz I've never heard something like that before. The fact that it was actually real and you guys are real people and like actually believe and lived what you were saying.

Eldar [01:29:27]:
That's right.

Phillip [01:29:28]:
That to me was the difference maker for me.

Eldar [01:29:31]:
That's right.

Phillip [01:29:32]:
And again, like, if the.

Eldar [01:29:33]:
It resonated with you because you understood, you understood the core of who we are.

Phillip [01:29:37]:
And again, I think it ties into the. That's why you're here. What I was saying before was from 2020 to now, the pandemic separating us and us coming back now, the things that resonate with me in 2019 still resonate with me now. So, like, circumstances and different things that can separate you, which is a pandemic and changes in going home, working from home, all these things are just like, things that happen.

Eldar [01:29:58]:
That's right.

Phillip [01:29:59]:
But again, like. Like allowing yourself to be transformed by truth and love and the things that actually matter and allowing our values to kind of bond us versus just like saying, okay, an experience or a circumstance got me to take another job, whatever. But yeah, it just has me think, like, at a deeper level. And I think it also brings me back to the example of leading with certain things in a relationship. When you're going out talking to girls, are you just talking to them about, like, movies and clothes and shoes and, like, their makeup and how much money you make. Like, yeah. If you're leading with those things, that's what most job ads are. It's how much is the compensation?

Eldar [01:30:41]:
Right. How.

Phillip [01:30:42]:
What do you get? Like, you get vacation days. Oh, boy. 30 days vacation.

Eldar [01:30:48]:
So I get to go on vacation every day.

Eldar [01:30:50]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:30:50]:
So, so I basically am. The way that these jobs are luring you in is saying, how many jobs do you get? How many days do you get away from this job?

Mike [01:30:58]:
That's right.

Phillip [01:30:59]:
Like, how much money do you get to get paid so you can go do what you like outside of the job? This job is saying, hey, listen, you can be who you want, you can act how you want. Yes, you're gonna have to perform, but we're gonna value for who you are.

Eldar [01:31:11]:
That's right.

Eldar [01:31:12]:
It's still sales.

Phillip [01:31:13]:
You're still gonna need skills.

Eldar [01:31:14]:
That's right.

Phillip [01:31:15]:
But, like, we're a value driven company that is saying, hey, we like to talk about stuff. We're gonna have a philosophy podcast. Are you interested in this stuff?

Eldar [01:31:22]:
Yeah. Great.

Phillip [01:31:22]:
It's part of the job. Like, you wanna try to work, you want to just be a total nut.

Eldar [01:31:26]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:31:27]:
But you have to produce. You can do this.

Eldar [01:31:28]:
That's right.

Phillip [01:31:30]:
This job.

Eldar [01:31:31]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:31:32]:
Everything that you guys said is 100% it, but it becomes about the relationships and it becomes about valuing being yourself. So if you're, yeah. Afraid to be vulnerable, if you're not somebody who likes to be themselves and you like to basically curl up in a ball and be controlled by, you know, manager or a boss.

Eldar [01:31:50]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:31:51]:
Then corporate America is probably more for you.

Eldar [01:31:53]:
That's right.

Phillip [01:31:54]:
Letter friend probably would not be for you.

Eldar [01:31:55]:
Listen, I.

Eldar [01:31:56]:
Before this, I knew we were hiring, but now we're hiring.

Phillip [01:31:59]:
Hundred percent hiring.

Eldar [01:32:01]:
Wow. Yeah.

Mike [01:32:02]:
Sick. You know, I. You know, one thing I feel will.

Eldar [01:32:05]:
Be the gate, bro. You'll know right away, like, yo, this motherfucker cut is the. It's cut out for this or not?

Eldar [01:32:10]:
Oh, yeah.

Phillip [01:32:10]:
I want to sit down on the meeting.

Eldar [01:32:11]:
For sure. I want to be in. Yeah. You see? Good. Yeah, you're it.

Mike [01:32:15]:
When you guys were talking, one thing that I thought about reminded me, you know, um.

Eldar [01:32:19]:
Fuck, yeah.

Mike [01:32:20]:
Remember when you. You know when you talk about love, right? When you fall in love, you feel like that person you met, you meet them.

Eldar [01:32:26]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:32:27]:
But it's not just like, like, uh, this life. It's like you known each other for thousands of years.

Eldar [01:32:32]:
That's right.

Mike [01:32:32]:
You guys were in love in a previous life.

Eldar [01:32:35]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:32:36]:
Do you think that in some friendships that it's similar? That we didn't find each other, like, by random?

Eldar [01:32:43]:
No.

Mike [01:32:43]:
That we. We just. We just reconnected.

Eldar [01:32:46]:
Correct.

Mike [01:32:46]:
Based on the time. But the souls, maybe.

Eldar [01:32:49]:
That's right.

Mike [01:32:49]:
We were connected with the souls.

Eldar [01:32:51]:
Yeah.

Katherine [01:32:52]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:32:53]:
Now recollecting.

Eldar [01:32:54]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:32:54]:
Those things that we already know internally in us and that what we're doing here is only reminding ourselves of that.

Eldar [01:32:59]:
That's.

Eldar [01:33:00]:
That's a hundred percent what I believe.

Eldar [01:33:01]:
Yes.

Phillip [01:33:01]:
For example, like a Craigslist ad. Like, I need to come here.

Eldar [01:33:04]:
Right.

Phillip [01:33:04]:
Like a phone call that you placed.

Eldar [01:33:06]:
Right.

Phillip [01:33:06]:
Putting a seed in my head. All these things.

Eldar [01:33:08]:
Right.

Phillip [01:33:08]:
Like, getting to this point, they're all, like, kind of irrelevant because I don't think about these things on a day to day. Like, maybe if you write a book, like, it would be maybe a sentence or two in a chapter, right. But ultimately, like, what we're doing right now and, like, where we're going and, like, what we're looking at, like, vision wise and who we're becoming. Like, these things, to me, are the day to day.

Eldar [01:33:28]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:33:28]:
So, like, to Mike's point, like, we're souls reconnecting. And, like, it's. When it's so much deeper than just, like, how you got there. Like, what you're doing, which most people usually harp on or think about. It's like, how did we connect? Or what should we talk about? And all this, like, we don't think about, like, what we're talking about. All these things become natural. So, like, the relationship. The things that people struggle with saying, like, oh, communication.

Phillip [01:33:52]:
Or, like, what we should talk about or connection. Like, when those things are properly aligned, you don't have to. I don't think about these things on a day to day. Then the real work becomes the priority, which is growing yourself. Being yourself.

Eldar [01:34:06]:
That's right.

Phillip [01:34:07]:
You know, like, valuing, you know, like, truth.

Eldar [01:34:11]:
Real. Real conversations.

Phillip [01:34:13]:
Honest stuff.

Eldar [01:34:13]:
Honesty.

Phillip [01:34:14]:
Honest.

Eldar [01:34:14]:
Right.

Eldar [01:34:14]:
And then you start talking about integrity and. And all the other things that are more important. Exactly. Which are called Mike, um, virtues.

Eldar [01:34:28]:
Yeah, yeah.

Eldar [01:34:30]:
No, for sure.

Phillip [01:34:31]:
For sure. Damn, Phil, we done did it.

Eldar [01:34:33]:
You fucking, you know, put a hat on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was great, man. That was great.

Phillip [01:34:41]:
I think it's cool also is, like, as we're all talking from my cat's example to Mike's example, you have an aha moment. Like, it comes to me, like, as we're talking and doing this, like, when you get in, like, I feel like it's like a natural high right now. We're talking and doing this. Like, we're all helping each other uncover certain things about us. Like, yeah, so not trying to poo poo on therapy and stuff like that, but, like, when I've been in therapy sessions and stuff, like, this person doesn't know. Know you personally.

Eldar [01:35:08]:
Right?

Phillip [01:35:09]:
Like, you guys are knowing me personally and allowing me to be myself, and it's not in a bubble. And I think this is a big difference between therapies, at least the ones.

Eldar [01:35:16]:
That I've been a part of, is.

Phillip [01:35:17]:
That, like, I didn't get really into these flow states. It was more of, like, a listening to somebody and being evaluated and then, like, maybe putting it into practice outside. Yeah, I'm allowing myself to be vulnerable, getting truths from you guys, but we're all contributing to each other's conversation. But to me, it's like, there's, like, a thing here. Like, there's a conversation, and we're all contributing to it. So, like, I don't feel like I'm having to do any one particular thing. It's like I'm just allowing myself to be myself.

Eldar [01:35:47]:
That's right.

Phillip [01:35:47]:
You're being yourself. Being yourself. But we're all contributing to, like, a greater good. That's all individually benefiting us, but we're all contributing to this greater thing. Call it letter friend, call it the business, the corporation, like, whatever you want to call it. But when. When it is like this, it's just. It has more meaning and there's less effort.

Eldar [01:36:06]:
That's right.

Phillip [01:36:06]:
It just feels more that for me, it feels more natural to me.

Eldar [01:36:09]:
So you're saying you're not applying discipline by coming out Friday night?

Phillip [01:36:12]:
Zero discipline.

Eldar [01:36:13]:
Oh, wow.

Eldar [01:36:13]:
That's very interesting.

Phillip [01:36:14]:
Zero discipline. Because I remember, like Mike was saying in the beginning, effortless. There was a. He valued this thing. Paramus. I remember him talking about this. He said, oh, most important day of the week for me is Friday. And I was like, okay.

Phillip [01:36:26]:
Like, I was like, okay, Mike.

Eldar [01:36:28]:
Like, okay, cool.

Phillip [01:36:28]:
But, like, for me, like, this is not for me. Like, I was even thinking after that first podcast, when you and Dennis were talking.

Eldar [01:36:35]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:36:35]:
I was like, yo, this is definitely not for me.

Eldar [01:36:37]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:36:37]:
I was like, okay, you know what I'll do? Like, I'll bow out early and, like, maybe some Fridays will come. Maybe some Fridays I'm not.

Eldar [01:36:42]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:36:42]:
And you guys, like, no, no. This is, like, a thing. I'm like, okay.

Eldar [01:36:45]:
Like, all right.

Phillip [01:36:45]:
Like, obviously, I can't say no in the beginning. I'm working here, like, a people pleasing me.

Eldar [01:36:51]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:36:51]:
But now. But now I'm like, oh, shit. Like, this is fun. And, like, this is helping me, but, like, I like it. Like, this is cool.

Eldar [01:36:58]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:36:59]:
So now it's like an effortless thing where, like, this is just an extent extension of Fridays and it feels more natural.

Eldar [01:37:06]:
Thank you for the compliment, Mike. We're very good at what we do.

Eldar [01:37:08]:
Yes. Yeah. Okay.

Mike [01:37:09]:
I can tell, bro.

Eldar [01:37:10]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:37:11]:
Anybody feels that we're arrogant about it, we absolutely are.

Phillip [01:37:17]:
An example that you brought to me was a kid from. I don't know if we talked about on air yet, but a kid that.

Mike [01:37:24]:
Guys, guys, guys, guys, enough.

Phillip [01:37:27]:
It was a kid from the gym, somebody who was maybe a young kid, impressionable kid that, you know, maybe you didn't know what his thoughts were. Maybe he didn't know how to communicate properly, but one day he came up to you and was like, hey, I watched the podcast. And you were like, which one? And you were like, the one.

Eldar [01:37:46]:
Listen to the podcast.

Phillip [01:37:47]:
Oh, yeah.

Eldar [01:37:48]:
You're confusing.

Phillip [01:37:49]:
Oh, yeah, listen to the podcast.

Eldar [01:37:50]:
Yeah, we don't have that component.

Phillip [01:37:51]:
Yeah, listen.

Eldar [01:37:52]:
Excuse me. Listen.

Phillip [01:37:53]:
Listen to the podcast. And you were like, which one? And he was like, I listen to the one about love and how you broke it down to three steps, and you're like, wow. Like, I'm impacting somebody that I had no idea that I thought that I can impact. So I think it's cool that we're all obviously impacting each other, which we're all connected, but it was probably really cool for you, which it seemed like, to influence somebody who you didn't even think would resonate.

Eldar [01:38:17]:
Was listening. Correct.

Phillip [01:38:19]:
Just by listening, no visual component or anything.

Eldar [01:38:21]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:38:21]:
So that was me. Was cool to see your reaction of it.

Eldar [01:38:26]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:38:27]:
Without even knowing this kid.

Eldar [01:38:28]:
Yeah, yeah. On that.

Phillip [01:38:29]:
On that level.

Eldar [01:38:30]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:38:30]:
So, you know, it's cool. And I really think that if this, you know, if this continues and it will continue, that the whole continuing, if it can stretch to the people that actually listen and pay attention to what's actually going on, to pick up with those people will be very effortless as well. If they ever come through the door like a stranger.

Eldar [01:38:52]:
Like that. Yeah.

Eldar [01:38:53]:
Because the language is the same. They will know innately and how to communicate with us because they actually know what we value and how they can communicate. So be a natural process of being able to open up on that level.

Mike [01:39:06]:
I'm so level. I think, again, it's a soul level.

Phillip [01:39:09]:
Soul level, yeah.

Mike [01:39:10]:
Because the soul can. I think the soul always taps into the truth. It's you just have to tap into the soul, and then the soul allows you to.

Eldar [01:39:16]:
Thing is.

Eldar [01:39:16]:
The thing is, you have no choice in the matter. You said we don't have a choice in the matter because we're born with the shit.

Eldar [01:39:22]:
Right.

Phillip [01:39:22]:
It's deeper than, like, just conversation or, like, human circumstances.

Eldar [01:39:26]:
We're born with this.

Eldar [01:39:27]:
Yes.

Eldar [01:39:27]:
We're born with. With a. With a truth in us that's constantly reverting back to, like, trying to figure out what the fuck is going on and why am I not happy? And I want to be happy.

Eldar [01:39:36]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:39:37]:
It's a driving force inside of us.

Eldar [01:39:38]:
Yes.

Phillip [01:39:39]:
So when you're saying the continuum thing, like, I'm literally thinking, like, just, like, you know, coming up with our, you know, billboard or whatever it may be, digital billboard. Like, I'm just looking at, like, an orb or, like, a circle that, like, you're in. Like, you're a part of this thing. And this continuum of, like, you can go away for weeks or months or years, but when you come back to this, like, it's just like an inner knowing and, like, it's just, like, it's a circle.

Eldar [01:40:02]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:40:02]:
Like, and you're in it. And I feel like we're all in it. We're talking about it. We're all benefiting from it, but again, like, not even thinking about an audience of other people that aren't even here and how many people were probably connected to that we don't even know that you're connected to yet?

Eldar [01:40:14]:
Hundred percent.

Phillip [01:40:15]:
Doing it through a medium or platform.

Eldar [01:40:16]:
That's right. Like this.

Eldar [01:40:17]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:40:19]:
The way that you're talking about it make. Is making me think about it.

Eldar [01:40:22]:
So you are creative. It sounds like you're creative.

Phillip [01:40:24]:
You see different.

Eldar [01:40:25]:
See that?

Phillip [01:40:25]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Eldar [01:40:26]:
It's cool.

Eldar [01:40:27]:
This is.

Mike [01:40:28]:
This is just like a friendship thing. It's a sheltering tree, this kind of thing, this bubble.

Eldar [01:40:33]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:40:33]:
Where we are able to connect on such a level. It is a very sheltering place, and it does feel like this is the best place to be.

Eldar [01:40:41]:
You know, I think it's supposed to be like that.

Eldar [01:40:43]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:40:43]:
Because filled, like he said, being true to yourself, being genuine, and actually being vulnerable and open.

Eldar [01:40:49]:
Right.

Eldar [01:40:50]:
With that type of humility and stuff like that. This resonate, this type of energy resonates with every human being.

Mike [01:40:57]:
Well, and it also. It also, on a small level, mimics everything else that happens inside nature as well. The way the harmony of the trees, the plants, the bees.

Eldar [01:41:06]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:41:06]:
The animals.

Eldar [01:41:07]:
That's right.

Mike [01:41:07]:
You know, it's all harmonious. It's a huge.

Eldar [01:41:09]:
That's right.

Mike [01:41:10]:
It's a big, harmonious circle.

Eldar [01:41:12]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:41:12]:
And we people never thought, like, hey, I'm also belonging to circle, too. If I live in accordance with the.

Eldar [01:41:19]:
Universal truth, I think that then, then internally, everybody's looking to get into that circle.

Phillip [01:41:23]:
So this flow is our version of that. And I think when you're in something like this and I'm experiencing you right now, it makes the example that mike just made make sense. Seeing all the connections in nature, watching a duck and its natural habitat in the water, or just seeing a tree or just, like, feeling the breeze. Like, I think it helps you connect to all these things, and it doesn't make it this, like, esoteric, like, out there idea of, like, this unattainable thing that, like, someone's talking about. Like, it makes it a real example for a real regular guy that I'm saying, I started this podcast saying, like, I have a problem. I'm waking up in the morning and I'm feeling pain. Like, I'm not coming from a perfect place. I'm coming from, like, I'm in pain place.

Phillip [01:42:04]:
I don't know where I'm at. To ending a podcast and saying, like, I'm in a flow state with people I feel really comfortable with, and I feel like I'm tapping into, like, a natural part of, like, my soul at a deep level.

Eldar [01:42:14]:
Holy shit.

Phillip [01:42:15]:
Still experiencing the pain, but also at the same realm, being like, damn. Like, even if you're in pain, you are still getting to experience, like, beautiful things.

Eldar [01:42:23]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:42:24]:
You know, so, like, that's like a beautiful light at the end of the tunnel, probably for a lot of people, too. We're saying, like, hey, you don't have to maybe figure it all out. You can. As you're chipping away at it, you can still start to get some, maybe some wins, you know, glimmers of hope. So today was an eye opener for me in that regard.

Eldar [01:42:40]:
That was great. You needed to check that box. I'm glad we checked it for you, you fucking loser. You needed to put a little, of course, you know, icing on the stuff. You like the sprinkles.

Mike [01:42:51]:
He's a recap king, bro.

Eldar [01:42:52]:
He's a recap king, right?

Phillip [01:42:53]:
I love sprinkles.

Eldar [01:42:54]:
You like recapping shit, right?

Phillip [01:42:56]:
I love sprinkles. And recapping.

Eldar [01:42:57]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:42:58]:
Yeah, I like sprinkles.

Mike [01:42:59]:
Or I guess there's a good thing, you know, it helps him to, like, bring everything together full circle, like, on this.

Eldar [01:43:06]:
It helps him with his Alzheimer's.

Eldar [01:43:07]:
Yes.

Phillip [01:43:08]:
But for podcasts, I mean, it's, like, almost, like, appropriate because we're telling a story.

Eldar [01:43:13]:
I agree. I agree. No, for sure it is appropriate.

Phillip [01:43:15]:
These people need to be recapped, and I under.

Eldar [01:43:19]:
Sure.

Eldar [01:43:19]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:43:19]:
And for, you know, brand deals and partnerships, we're telling a story to 100%.

Eldar [01:43:24]:
Oh.

Eldar [01:43:25]:
Mean, I think this is the coolest story ever. For me, at least.

Eldar [01:43:27]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:43:29]:
Sorry. There's a crazy story.

Eldar [01:43:31]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:43:31]:
It's great to think that we're in it.

Eldar [01:43:33]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:43:34]:
You know, I wonder if there's other people out there who are having these kind of conversations who also feel like, yo, I'm like, there's not just a story. This is history.

Eldar [01:43:42]:
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Mike [01:43:44]:
That's how I feel.

Eldar [01:43:45]:
Yeah, historia.

Eldar [01:43:45]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:43:46]:
You know, it's not just. Yeah, like, this is crazy shit. This is, like, I don't even know what words to use describe this shit.

Eldar [01:43:53]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:43:53]:
That were. These discussions.

Eldar [01:43:55]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:43:55]:
Like, the things we're talking about.

Eldar [01:43:56]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:43:57]:
The emotions and the feelings that we're, you know, going through. And this thing, it's. It's next level shit.

Phillip [01:44:02]:
There's podcasts that are popular just because they talk about, like, food and relationships at very surface levels.

Eldar [01:44:07]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:44:07]:
They take off. They're exploding. Popular. Like, we're diving into, like, the intricacies of life.

Eldar [01:44:12]:
Oh, fucking humans.

Phillip [01:44:13]:
And, like, the human flow of soul and truth.

Eldar [01:44:16]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:44:17]:
Like, you understand, like, we're not getting.

Eldar [01:44:20]:
I don't think you understand what you guys do.

Phillip [01:44:23]:
I understand. I took myself.

Eldar [01:44:25]:
Yeah. Yeah. This shit is. Yeah.

Phillip [01:44:27]:
I'm staring at Socrates. Like, Socrates is looking at me, like, right in the eye right now.

Eldar [01:44:30]:
He's like, this is. This is. This is it. This is your duty.

Mike [01:44:33]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Phillip [01:44:34]:
We're on to something.

Eldar [01:44:36]:
Where do we start? We started from him feel depressing and sadness.

Eldar [01:44:40]:
Look at this.

Phillip [01:44:41]:
Like, beautiful flow.

Eldar [01:44:42]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:44:43]:
And happiness at a soul level. And how.

Mike [01:44:45]:
That's the perfect.

Eldar [01:44:45]:
That's the paradox of life.

Eldar [01:44:47]:
How cool is this?

Eldar [01:44:47]:
That is very cool. Very cool. Yeah, man. That's why it's gonna be very interesting for you guys to journey yourself into the world now. Put yourself out there with more friendships and especially romantic relationships, if that's you on your journey. I was gonna be very cool, man.

Phillip [01:45:03]:
Right now, though. You know what I just realized today's not Friday and that tomorrow I have to come to work by myself.

Eldar [01:45:10]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:45:11]:
Time to reflect. Now you understand why Mike said what he said before, right? Fuck, you know?

Eldar [01:45:18]:
I guess. Yeah, I get it.

Eldar [01:45:20]:
What's the final thoughts on this?

Phillip [01:45:22]:
Final thoughts are, man, starting with pain and just talking it out with people that you trust and people that you just connect with and ending with just, like, hope and just feeling good and discovering truth and just connecting on things that are bigger, I guess.

Eldar [01:45:46]:
Just.

Phillip [01:45:46]:
Just not focusing on small things and pain and I guess allowing yourself to feel that, like, you are something that I am valued, that I can love myself and that it's okay. Like, I'm the one that can allow myself to, I guess, feel this beauty and pain in the right state. But right now, where I'm at, it's okay to ask for help. It's okay to say, I don't know where I'm at. It's okay to be vulnerable, not know who I am or where I'm going, and kind of put it out there and kind of let the chips fall where they may. And then, I guess, allowing truth to resonate. And that is something that I do feel when you. I am shut off and I don't feel certain things.

Phillip [01:46:40]:
You're numb to certain things. Truth is the thing that shines through. And not allowing your little, like, neurotic kind of ideas and routines and disciplines to kind of, like, dictate your path, it's allowing the truth.

Eldar [01:46:53]:
And.

Phillip [01:46:53]:
And I think if you're asking, like, okay, what is the truth? I think it's something that just resonates. And when you do feel it, you feel it. I think it's the way people describe love.

Eldar [01:47:02]:
Right? Yeah.

Phillip [01:47:02]:
Like, when we all talk about truth, it resonates with us. We're all in agreeance and saying, like, yes. Like, that's the connection.

Eldar [01:47:08]:
Right?

Phillip [01:47:09]:
That's the connection.

Eldar [01:47:09]:
Yes.

Phillip [01:47:10]:
So I think if you're asking yourself what it is, it's whatever stops you in your tracks and makes you say, like, yes. Like, this is what it is.

Eldar [01:47:17]:
Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah, yeah.

Eldar [01:47:19]:
Thank you, Mike.

Mike [01:47:22]:
Yeah, I definitely. What you said about your realization.

Eldar [01:47:27]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:47:28]:
I think that's huge to me. Like, that's, like, in my head, that.

Eldar [01:47:31]:
Continue right here.

Mike [01:47:32]:
There's a story.

Eldar [01:47:33]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:47:34]:
And I, like, I'm excited right now. The story that's happening now.

Eldar [01:47:37]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:47:38]:
Where it's just, like, we're starting. It's small.

Eldar [01:47:40]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:47:40]:
You know?

Eldar [01:47:40]:
Like, yeah.

Mike [01:47:41]:
It's not small, but it's big.

Eldar [01:47:43]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:47:43]:
But, like, I can only imagine where the story is gonna go. And that, to me, is fucking, like, wow. That blows my mind. Excitement.

Eldar [01:47:49]:
Yeah. You know?

Mike [01:47:50]:
Sick, you know? So I'm definitely looking forward to, you know, continue the journey.

Eldar [01:47:56]:
That's awesome.

Mike [01:47:57]:
Crazy.

Eldar [01:47:57]:
Good. For sure. Me too.

Eldar [01:47:59]:
I'm excited.

Eldar [01:48:00]:
But what.

Eldar [01:48:01]:
Just expand on the Phillips thing about pain first. Coming in here, right. And discussing, like, really, like, talking about deep sadness.

Eldar [01:48:07]:
Right.

Eldar [01:48:08]:
We ended up on a completely opposite end.

Eldar [01:48:10]:
Right.

Eldar [01:48:11]:
And I think we. I think that the reason why we got here in the first place.

Eldar [01:48:16]:
Right.

Eldar [01:48:16]:
I think, is to. He recognized his own power.

Eldar [01:48:20]:
Right.

Eldar [01:48:20]:
That he has this ability. He said, I can be vulnerable. I can do this. I can do this. And then I can deduce this and bring this. This light into my life and feel the way I do. And that's fucking powerful.

Eldar [01:48:30]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:48:30]:
That he understands that there is also options.

Eldar [01:48:33]:
Sure.

Eldar [01:48:33]:
I can feel pain, but I can also feel this. This feeling. You know what I mean?

Eldar [01:48:36]:
This.

Eldar [01:48:37]:
This happiness or this realization and this. All this that he's experiencing now. That's profound.

Phillip [01:48:42]:
And I think it's also a trusting in life.

Eldar [01:48:44]:
Right.

Phillip [01:48:44]:
Like, the way that I look at this is.

Eldar [01:48:46]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:48:46]:
If you realize there is yin and Yang and there's, like, up and down sadness and happiness. Right. If you are genuinely starting at a place that is low, there is an opposite end that is high.

Eldar [01:48:56]:
And that's what I wanted.

Eldar [01:48:57]:
Yes.

Eldar [01:48:57]:
That's why I wanted you. Despite the fact that we might not know the. Those breadcrumbs that lead to his pain.

Eldar [01:49:04]:
Not yet.

Eldar [01:49:04]:
We don't know them yet.

Eldar [01:49:05]:
Right.

Eldar [01:49:06]:
Because experience me doesn't know where that comes from.

Eldar [01:49:08]:
Mm hmm.

Eldar [01:49:08]:
He at least can know. And you should be empowered, Phil, that you have the ability to do this.

Mike [01:49:12]:
Right.

Eldar [01:49:13]:
And that is powerful.

Eldar [01:49:14]:
Well, yeah.

Eldar [01:49:14]:
You have the ability, and you at least know. You at least know which breadcrumbs lead you to this. You said being vulnerable.

Eldar [01:49:21]:
Right?

Eldar [01:49:22]:
Being okay with asking for help.

Eldar [01:49:24]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:49:24]:
Honest.

Phillip [01:49:25]:
Honesty.

Eldar [01:49:25]:
Right? Yeah.

Eldar [01:49:26]:
These are the things. This is the remedy, or this is the recipe for this outcome. He at least knows this. He might not know where the pains from coming from, but at least he knows where the pleasure is coming from.

Eldar [01:49:36]:
Mm hmm.

Eldar [01:49:36]:
And that's awesome.

Eldar [01:49:38]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:49:38]:
But I think by knowing where the pleasure is coming from in this specific thing.

Eldar [01:49:41]:
Aha.

Mike [01:49:42]:
You can kill the pain.

Eldar [01:49:43]:
Okay.

Mike [01:49:44]:
That's my theory.

Eldar [01:49:45]:
Yeah. Okay.

Mike [01:49:45]:
But don't hold me to it, Dennis.

Eldar [01:49:50]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:49:51]:
Because if you follow the path to the truth, then you no longer have to live in that false reality. You never have to. You no longer have to.

Eldar [01:50:00]:
I never have to turn back. Or you.

Eldar [01:50:01]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:50:01]:
Because you never have.

Eldar [01:50:02]:
You accumulate enough action and enough behavior patterns now, in accordance to truth, so that becomes irrelevant.

Phillip [01:50:08]:
Well, the actual thing, you mean. Yeah, like, you don't even have to figure out the thing.

Eldar [01:50:13]:
It's just.

Eldar [01:50:13]:
Hey.

Phillip [01:50:14]:
What I learned is being in accordance. The reason that I got myself in this mess was because I wasn't aligned with the truth. I wasn't being.

Eldar [01:50:21]:
That's a general umbrella. There we go.

Phillip [01:50:23]:
So going back to those examples of what I was talking about with catalog and maybe writing them all down and doing all this stuff. Yes, maybe they can help, but they're leading us to what we just got to, which was, we're in accordance with the truth. We're doing all these things. Now all I have to do is just keep doing that. We don't need to go look backwards. We're just looking forwards now.

Eldar [01:50:40]:
All right.

Phillip [01:50:40]:
This is what we're saying.

Eldar [01:50:41]:
That's what Mike's.

Mike [01:50:42]:
Yeah, that's my theory, but it's also in line with your thing. You don't need to know the core of the problem to solve it. You just need that person. I agree with going forward, these two things that you just. You say you can and what I just said, I think they're related.

Eldar [01:50:54]:
They're related? Yeah.

Mike [01:50:56]:
Those are side effects from living unexamined life.

Eldar [01:50:59]:
Correct.

Mike [01:50:59]:
If you are living an examined life, why would you.

Eldar [01:51:03]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:51:03]:
If you're not coming out of it or you try to minimize coming out.

Eldar [01:51:06]:
Of it, I go back into the shadow.

Mike [01:51:07]:
Why come out? But how do you even go in there?

Eldar [01:51:10]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Mike [01:51:11]:
There's no road there.

Eldar [01:51:12]:
There's no road there. You're right.

Mike [01:51:13]:
And then all those pains, they, with time, they will drop off because you will keep examining.

Eldar [01:51:19]:
If.

Eldar [01:51:19]:
If you continue to examine.

Eldar [01:51:21]:
Yes.

Eldar [01:51:22]:
But if not, you might fall back into your routine, and the routines will cause you that.

Eldar [01:51:26]:
Yes.

Phillip [01:51:27]:
Now you're back to the thing you're not doing. The truth. The things that you were doing to be vulnerable, to get that pleasure. Now you're reverting back to the original, which was the routine and discipline, which you guys have pointed out was a total sham to begin with.

Eldar [01:51:40]:
No, it served its purpose, but I think it ran its course.

Eldar [01:51:43]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:51:43]:
It's like.

Eldar [01:51:46]:
To do this for survival.

Phillip [01:51:47]:
Purposes, but I had to do this. But now if I'm reverting back to that, I'm going backwards, and I'm utilizing that same crush. So why would I need it?

Eldar [01:51:54]:
If I might not make sense at all.

Eldar [01:51:56]:
It might.

Phillip [01:51:56]:
Yeah, I'm going back.

Mike [01:51:57]:
You may do it unintentionally, and then you're gonna steal it. Like, yo, wait, this is whack. I don't wanna do this.

Eldar [01:52:02]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Mike [01:52:03]:
But sometimes.

Eldar [01:52:04]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:52:04]:
Because it's also very hard to always be in the moment, be in that examine state.

Eldar [01:52:10]:
Yes.

Mike [01:52:11]:
Because we also think, like, oh, I don't need to examine this. Like, everything's good here, but then when you have a, like, you develop this consciousness of, like, yo, I gotta examine everything. Gotta examine everything. You become more sensitive to feeling the pains and you like, yo, wait, this is supposed to feel good. Why the fuck does not feel good? Sums up. Yeah, that is. That'll. You know, it will come.

Mike [01:52:31]:
I mean, I think that's a hint. That's a hint.

Eldar [01:52:33]:
That's gonna be a hint.

Mike [01:52:35]:
I need to examine this. I thought this had a lid on it. Like, it's cover. Yeah, but no, there's more. More stuff in there.

Eldar [01:52:41]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:52:42]:
You know?

Eldar [01:52:43]:
Wow.

Eldar [01:52:44]:
Yeah, that's what I have, man.

Eldar [01:52:45]:
Thank you, guys.

Eldar [01:52:46]:
This was great.

Eldar [01:52:47]:
Wow.

Phillip [01:52:47]:
We did, like. I felt like, as we're, like, ending it, and I'm like, oh, shit. Like, then there's another one that Mike made. Another point. You had a point. Yeah, there's like. It was like a never ending, like, flow of tap off, like, fountain.

Eldar [01:52:57]:
But you better watch out, man. This is like dopamine at its highest level.

Phillip [01:53:00]:
Yeah, this is pretty good.

Mike [01:53:01]:
So it's ready to keep going.

Eldar [01:53:02]:
Yeah, we can't give him everything, man.

Mike [01:53:04]:
No, not a one.

Eldar [01:53:05]:
I'm saying.

Phillip [01:53:05]:
And NBA Finals on right now.

Eldar [01:53:07]:
So there you go. Now you get to relax.

Eldar [01:53:09]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:53:09]:
And enjoy what you do, genuinely, right?

Eldar [01:53:11]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:53:12]:
And tell me if you can extract any type of pain from that.

Eldar [01:53:14]:
Zero.

Phillip [01:53:15]:
I'll be able to go put the game on at home.

Eldar [01:53:16]:
That's right.

Phillip [01:53:17]:
Relax, relax.

Eldar [01:53:18]:
Put your shit thing, whatever you need.

Mike [01:53:19]:
Some grilled cheese.

Phillip [01:53:20]:
Do the weird.

Eldar [01:53:22]:
That's right. Enjoy yourself or to kill.

Eldar [01:53:26]:
All right, guys. Thank you.