73. Philip's Epiphany on Discipline, Connections, and Self-Reflection

Phillip [00:00:00]:
On this week's episode when, like, deep down, I'm just, like, a horny nut.

Eldar [00:00:03]:
How do you combat aging?

Mike [00:00:04]:
You remove all the mirrors from your house.

Phillip [00:00:06]:
I want to just be physical and have this type of relationship. Are you open to that? And these things are important to me.

Eldar [00:00:13]:
If you are, come over. I'll fuck your brains up.

Phillip [00:00:15]:
There you go.

Eldar [00:00:25]:
So, Phil, we're. This is an emergency podcast meeting.

Phillip [00:00:28]:
Emergency meeting.

Mike [00:00:29]:
Emergency meeting.

Eldar [00:00:30]:
Yes. Big one.

Eldar [00:00:31]:
Because during lunch, you had started a conversation with Uncle Mike.

Eldar [00:00:35]:
Uncle Uncle Mike.

Eldar [00:00:37]:
Hey.

Eldar [00:00:37]:
So, yeah, so you were having a conversation with Mike during lunch, I guess, about being your true self.

Eldar [00:00:44]:
Right.

Eldar [00:00:44]:
If you want to just coin it. Yes. And presenting that to the world, and you had some kind of epiphany talk about it.

Phillip [00:00:51]:
So Mike was giving an example that really resonated with me. And you can speak freely, Phil.

Mike [00:00:57]:
You don't have to hide.

Eldar [00:00:58]:
This is a safe space. Yeah, I totally will not attack you with his crazy looks.

Eldar [00:01:03]:
Those ones.

Eldar [00:01:03]:
Those ones right there. The cartoon ones.

Phillip [00:01:05]:
The cartoon, yeah. So, yeah, so Mike was giving an example of being his true self. And I guess.

Eldar [00:01:11]:
I guess.

Eldar [00:01:11]:
What the fuck does that look like?

Phillip [00:01:13]:
Yeah, he wasn't realizing, I guess, something that you guys saw pretty easily of, like, who he was or, like, how he was acting. Does that sound. Does that sound right, Mike?

Eldar [00:01:24]:
Yeah. Okay.

Phillip [00:01:25]:
So he started to give an example of being a sexually charged man. Is that pretty accurate?

Mike [00:01:34]:
Sexual deviant.

Phillip [00:01:35]:
Say sexual deviant. And the way that he was describing it was interesting to me because he was saying that instead of hiding, being, like, a shy guy and maybe just thinking about these thoughts and he wanted to do these things with an intention behind them. And I thought that was interesting because with me, I would basically do a lot of these things throughout my life and maybe pretend like I was the good guy or maybe there was a potential of a relationship or maybe I wasn't fully honest with the person or myself overall when I was doing these things. And then what I noticed was afterwards, you feel guilty or you feel like that ick or you feel like that, like, just like. Like really, like, sense of, I don't know, shame or guilt or like some type of, like, really deep, like, seated feeling that doesn't feel very comfortable.

Eldar [00:02:30]:
So, like when somebody stole candy from the store and got caught by his mom.

Eldar [00:02:34]:
Right?

Phillip [00:02:34]:
I think worse than that.

Eldar [00:02:35]:
Worse than that.

Eldar [00:02:36]:
But yeah. Oh, yeah.

Phillip [00:02:36]:
When you're a kid. Yeah, maybe because that is bad when you're a kid. Yes, yes.

Eldar [00:02:40]:
Stealing something from somebody else.

Eldar [00:02:41]:
Right? Yes.

Phillip [00:02:42]:
So I would say those type of feelings.

Eldar [00:02:44]:
Yes.

Phillip [00:02:44]:
So when Mike was giving an example and he was saying that instead of running away from this thing, embrace it and do it in a way where you're basically tapping into this thing that's part of yourself that maybe is a deviant or maybe that is a total nut.

Eldar [00:03:00]:
Right.

Phillip [00:03:01]:
Like, that's sexually charged and going after, but doing it in a sense of being my true self, being 100% honest with the other person and yourself and saying, hey, I'm just really horny. I want to have sex with you, opposed to nothing else and nothing else. Opposed to, hey, like, come over. We can hang out. We'll talk, we'll have fun, like. Like, luring in, like, you into, like, this false sense of, like. Like, comfort.

Eldar [00:03:25]:
You know what I mean?

Phillip [00:03:26]:
When, like, deep down, I'm just, like, a horny nut, and, like, so is he. And, like, I think that's part of, like, our connection also, when we go out.

Eldar [00:03:33]:
Like. Yeah.

Phillip [00:03:33]:
Like, we're probably thinking the similar thoughts.

Eldar [00:03:37]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:03:37]:
Like, he's probably being more honest at this stage where now he went through that part of being intentional, maybe, you know, being just physical with women. And now he's open to say, okay, I want more love, and I want the physical together opposed to, like, having separate question.

Eldar [00:03:55]:
Do you think that there was a moment in time where you both are out together and you're both silent, but you're thinking the same thing? Like, absolutely. Like, those same kind of things at the same time, but you're not speaking to each other?

Eldar [00:04:04]:
Questions.

Eldar [00:04:05]:
How many times you see how many.

Phillip [00:04:07]:
Times you went to the city and spent hours upon hours walking in the city when he was in deviant mode? Yeah, I only knew. This is non deviant, Mike. I've only known him for, like, six weeks. Yeah, I knew deviant mode for about, what, six or seven months, maybe.

Eldar [00:04:22]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Phillip [00:04:23]:
So the point was, this example really resonated with me because we're finding or I'm finding or all finding that these things are tied to other habits that I have, not just relationships. They are maybe attached to eating, overeating, under eating, limiting myself to other things that maybe I think that I shouldn't have for whatever reasons. Today was definitely an unraveling of something where I realized, oh, wow, this level of thought is not just in this one area. It can be others, and it can potentially be holding me back from doing certain things.

Eldar [00:05:02]:
So I thought or experiencing life to the fullest.

Eldar [00:05:05]:
Overall. Yeah.

Eldar [00:05:06]:
Overall, yeah. By hiding from yourself.

Eldar [00:05:09]:
Yes.

Phillip [00:05:09]:
And I think that's the simple version of it. Like, with all these different examples, it's hiding from myself. And even if I'm not hiding directly from myself, it's not feeling comfortable enough to be myself around other people, which is all forms of hiding. So I think the goal is to be completely honest with yourself and then to put it out there to whoever, and then it doesn't matter what the result is. The point is you're able to be that person and not unapologetically. Exactly. And not fold when somebody has an opinion that maybe you don't agree with.

Eldar [00:05:43]:
You know, Sema's slogan or. No, not their thing says unapologetic indian food.

Eldar [00:05:49]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:05:50]:
That was probably the first time you saw me, like, truly in my element without being like, a. Like a very regimented routine.

Eldar [00:05:56]:
You went, disappear.

Mike [00:05:57]:
You broke the seal there for sure.

Eldar [00:05:59]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Eldar [00:06:00]:
Definitely get a little.

Eldar [00:06:01]:
No. Yeah.

Eldar [00:06:02]:
We've seen you glimpses of this. Like, you can't control yourself, and it's gonna be more and more pronounced around the people that have the ability to accept you for who you are.

Phillip [00:06:11]:
Mmm.

Eldar [00:06:12]:
You know what I'm saying?

Phillip [00:06:12]:
And that's why I like hanging out with you guys.

Eldar [00:06:14]:
So, like, inside, you actually crave it.

Eldar [00:06:16]:
More and more because you can come out of your shell that you've been building for a long time.

Eldar [00:06:20]:
Yeah. Yes.

Phillip [00:06:20]:
So all these things that we're talking about is essentially me putting these things into place that is creating this shell, which is essentially my own prison for myself.

Eldar [00:06:30]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:06:30]:
Why are you doing it?

Phillip [00:06:31]:
Why are you doing it?

Eldar [00:06:32]:
Rules.

Eldar [00:06:33]:
Huh?

Eldar [00:06:34]:
The rules of society.

Eldar [00:06:35]:
The rules of society.

Phillip [00:06:37]:
Rules of society. Rules of people in your life. People that you looked up to. Maybe people that, you know, helped guide you.

Eldar [00:06:45]:
Life ought to be lived.

Eldar [00:06:46]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:06:46]:
How life ought to be lived.

Eldar [00:06:47]:
Like you said, maybe parents.

Phillip [00:06:48]:
Yeah, parents. Maybe friends, mentors. People that you work with. Like, I think anybody that you allow to have influence over you at any stage of life. So I think throughout life, you know, I think it would be really difficult to pinpoint each and every one. But throughout life, from when you're a kid up until now, you know, I have enough experience to realize, like, damn. Like, there's a lot of them. You know, Mike was saying there's probably 7 million of them.

Phillip [00:07:12]:
Yeah, it's probably pretty good.

Eldar [00:07:15]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:07:16]:
But now that I'm thinking about it, just one alone can unravel what I think would be maybe all these separate things, but they're all connected. So just one alone can have this snowball effect that we're already uncovering. Multiple examples. For one thing, where it's not just relationships. It goes into me eating and dieting and nutrition, like, how I approach, maybe finance and banking and paying my Amex bill, whatever.

Eldar [00:07:46]:
Give us the real life example of the girl coming to visit for you next time. Oh, you say you wanted to go viral, right?

Eldar [00:07:52]:
Yeah, that's true.

Phillip [00:07:53]:
Okay, so without giving any names.

Eldar [00:07:55]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:07:57]:
I was in a. In a relationship.

Eldar [00:07:59]:
A strange one.

Phillip [00:08:00]:
A strange one.

Eldar [00:08:01]:
And entanglement.

Phillip [00:08:03]:
Entanglement. And I would say. I would say there was moments in. In the relationship where they were nice and there was pure and good, but also there was, like, a very, like. Like, primal, like, sexual energy.

Eldar [00:08:21]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:08:22]:
And looking back to where I was, like, mental capacity, financial capacity. Like, I probably shouldn't have been in a relationship, and I probably should have been more honest. And the honest conversation would have probably been something along the lines of, I really like being physical with you, but I can't be in a relationship right now. Are you open to something like this? I wasn't strong enough. And then also, I didn't think it was an option because it's like. Like playing the game is like, maybe it's. I shouldn't even say it's my friends. It's like society.

Phillip [00:08:51]:
It's just like, what I conjured up in my head. I don't know, whatever factors that were. But it was like, if. If you live with somebody or you have a relationship, or at least attempt the relationship, you know, doing the. You know, the whole back and forth and, like, having sex and, like, having to be casual, like, it can be okay if it's underneath the window of a relationship. Like, it's more acceptable in my head.

Eldar [00:09:14]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:09:14]:
You know what I'm saying? Like a one.

Eldar [00:09:16]:
Not.

Eldar [00:09:16]:
It's like not having sex before marriage.

Phillip [00:09:18]:
Exactly.

Eldar [00:09:19]:
So there you go.

Phillip [00:09:22]:
It's very pure. Yeah, but no, and this is. Listen, I'm thinking this now, at the time of what I'm thinking, it's like I'm just being, like, what I think that I should be. I'm not thinking, like, all these things in my head. Like, oh, if I say this, I say this. I'm doing these things, and I'm thinking I'm being, like, the good guy.

Eldar [00:09:40]:
Genuine. Thinking.

Phillip [00:09:41]:
I'm being genuine.

Eldar [00:09:42]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:09:42]:
But really what I'm doing is I'm.

Eldar [00:09:44]:
Setting up a trap.

Phillip [00:09:45]:
I'm setting up a trap for myself.

Eldar [00:09:47]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:09:47]:
And that person.

Eldar [00:09:48]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:09:49]:
Because if I really, truly said what I want, I'm just a horny guy.

Eldar [00:09:53]:
That wants to have sex and throw you out.

Phillip [00:09:55]:
And that's what I want now.

Eldar [00:09:56]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:09:57]:
And just think now. So we're talking about a guy who is 26, 27 years old, moved to another, another state.

Eldar [00:10:03]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:10:04]:
By myself. Like, no friends, no family, no nothing. And I'm saying to myself, like, I'm a really horny guy. I want to go out and, like, talk to people in my building, talk to people that I work with, go out. Like, I would do this all the time.

Eldar [00:10:15]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:10:16]:
And then I would be like, ah. Like, I don't feel really good about this. Like, I think I need to have a relationship. Like, I'm telling myself this, but then I'm not doing the things that somebody in a relationship should do, which should be, like, mentally prepared, financially prepared, and, like, open up their heart. I don't know who I am. I don't have my heart open. I'm not financially prepared. I'm not mentally prepared.

Phillip [00:10:36]:
I'm not being vulnerable. So all the things that I should be doing, I'm not. So, like, I'm I'm going from one extreme, which is, like, having one night stand and sleeping with people, to then saying, I'm being in a relationship, but I'm not doing any of them. Right.

Eldar [00:10:49]:
I'm not.

Phillip [00:10:49]:
I'm not approaching the one night stands, right. Because I'm lying to myself.

Eldar [00:10:54]:
Right.

Phillip [00:10:54]:
I'm not allowing myself to go in there with the intention of just doing that and being honest with the person. Then I'm going into the relationship. I'm hiding behind the relationship, and then I'm going into the relationship, and I'm not being open and vulnerable with that.

Eldar [00:11:07]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:11:08]:
So, like, I'm literally not doing any of them. Any of them, right. So when Mike was talking today, I realized that, like, something so extreme, maybe, which I associate with, like, one night standard marriage. Like, there's no happy medium. A happy medium can be me going into, like, a sexual desire with intention and at least presenting my my true self and not worrying so much about the result. The result being whatever their response is and what happens after I'm myself. But the point is. But, yeah, I think what we concluded today at lunch at your house was basically being yourself and putting it out there, not relying on the result of whatever their responses or whatever might happen.

Phillip [00:11:50]:
And then this, hopefully carrying over into other things and how I basically present myself, you know, going out, being at a restaurant, being around you guys, work, professional relationships, parents, friendships, whatever. So it really related to me because it just, it clicked and it unraveled a whole bunch of other thoughts in me where I'm like, damn, like, this is definitely something that could be holding me back. And it's nice that you guys are kind of like, joking about it in a way where, like, it helped me get it opposed to just, you know, bringing it into, like, you're not like.

Eldar [00:12:22]:
A paid actor here.

Phillip [00:12:25]:
I'm not a paid actor. I don't think I'd be a very good one. Or maybe I would be.

Eldar [00:12:29]:
Who knows?

Eldar [00:12:29]:
Well, you've been acting all your life, so.

Phillip [00:12:31]:
Yeah, you know what I mean?

Eldar [00:12:32]:
You have a lot of experience.

Phillip [00:12:33]:
That's very true. I don't know anything.

Eldar [00:12:35]:
I'm.

Eldar [00:12:35]:
So the big question is, right, I think what you said, everything is correct. And now that you live, trying to liberate yourself, is whether or not you will actually bridge the gap between understanding this body of knowledge that you just spoke about and actually putting into practice.

Eldar [00:12:50]:
Right.

Eldar [00:12:51]:
And you obviously know what needs to be done when it comes to acting the right way.

Eldar [00:12:58]:
Right.

Eldar [00:12:58]:
Like you, you said, hey, now I'm gonna be straightforward. Text her or whatever, for example, in that example, and tell her how I.

Phillip [00:13:03]:
Feel and be unapologetic. Unapologetic about it.

Eldar [00:13:07]:
About it.

Phillip [00:13:07]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would say, cuz I was asking, I was like, I was asking Mike and I was asking you, I was like, what is the blueprint? Like, what does intention look like? And you gave a great answer. Was very simple. It was just be, be yourself. Like, be yourself unapologetically. And, um, that, to me, like that, that is the answer. Because if I look at all the things that I do, a lot of them are in kind of like the confines of what I created for myself. And a lot of it is comfort.

Eldar [00:13:36]:
You wrapped a lot of shit and a lot of candy wrappers.

Phillip [00:13:38]:
Yeah, yeah. Comfort. Comfort wrappers. Yeah, exactly.

Eldar [00:13:45]:
Kinder surprise, you know, every time.

Phillip [00:13:54]:
So I'm good at packaging it up into like a nice little ball of comfort for me, but I think for the world and for the world. But it's. I think it's interesting that I can know this about myself inside and I can feel comfortable with myself, but I don't feel comfortable around other people. I think we're talking about how, you know, you would think, based off of knowing me, that when I go out, I would be very outgoing and stuff, and that we determined that I was very selective and that I would go out and I would basically not talk to very many people because we came to the conclusion that I wouldn't put myself out there a lot and I would only be particular around people that I trust.

Eldar [00:14:33]:
Correct.

Phillip [00:14:34]:
And we came up with the examples of, you know, people in my life that maybe I had fallings out with or I grew apart with and just saying I'm not going to talk to those people anymore, versus being really comfortable with that maybe uncomfort relationship, whatever it may be, that didn't serve me. And instead of pushing it to the side, getting really comfortable with it, understanding why I'm not, and being able to be around that person and almost have fun with it, I think those are the examples that you gave me. And now that I'm looking at that, I'm realizing that instead of dealing with a lot of these things, I would take advice which would maybe be like, you know, meditate, shut your brain off, shut your thoughts off, and maybe not deal with these things. When I'm thinking I'm actually dealing with these things.

Eldar [00:15:18]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:15:19]:
And there's these, there's these recurring, like, everyday cycles of, like, things constantly happening again and again and again. And they're all in these different, different lights, whether it be relationships, jobs, you know, eating, nutrition, like anything like that. So I'm realizing these are all tied into, like, a belief system of how I kind of conditioned myself. And today was like, like a wake up call after like five or six weeks. I think we're kind of touching on a lot of these things. And today was like the snowball of, like, all of it coming out. And I had like a, like a. Kind of a breakthrough.

Phillip [00:15:53]:
Well, I would say a breakthrough. And it just made me think about it a lot differently. It was kind of like the discipline, like, aha. Moment when I had, when you brought up discipline and.

Eldar [00:16:01]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:16:01]:
How it's not serving me or really anybody. And today was definitely that for, for, you know, just overall how I perceive myself and then how I'm not putting myself, how I present myself into the world. Exactly.

Eldar [00:16:18]:
Yeah, very interesting.

Mike [00:16:19]:
He's been, you've been putting a lot of effort into, like, preventing the floodgates, like, from falling on top of you.

Eldar [00:16:25]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:16:26]:
You know, because you thought, like, you were actually building, like, a good, you know, foundation. Foundation, but you really were just doing, like, you were just holding the walls up so they don't crash on you, but you and your head thought you're doing something different, which is, like, interesting. And I think the crashing is, is interesting.

Eldar [00:16:43]:
Well, that's.

Eldar [00:16:44]:
Yeah, for sure. But that's the thing, like, and I think that fortunately, unfortunately, a lot of people don't buy into themselves.

Eldar [00:16:52]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:16:52]:
To their own special self because there's a lot of people in the world.

Eldar [00:16:56]:
Right. Yeah.

Eldar [00:16:57]:
And if we act our true selves, I'm pretty sure you will come across people that will, like you, will desire, you, will want to be around you because you're being authentic. You know what I'm saying? And people do gravitate towards that at a core level because they themselves are hiding.

Eldar [00:17:12]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:17:12]:
You know what I'm saying? So when they come across, like, a mic or elder ism, philip, you know, people will start opening up and like, oh, like, what does he know?

Eldar [00:17:19]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:17:20]:
Why is he acting this way?

Eldar [00:17:21]:
I think I'm apologetic.

Eldar [00:17:22]:
I think you're right.

Mike [00:17:22]:
I think not to get, like, too, like, I guess.

Eldar [00:17:24]:
No.

Mike [00:17:25]:
Do it mystical about it. But I do think that subconsciously they have no choice in the matter because that energy, the honestness.

Eldar [00:17:31]:
Yeah. It's.

Mike [00:17:32]:
It's very gravitational.

Eldar [00:17:33]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:17:34]:
You know, because subconsciously, you know that that's actually what you want, what you need.

Eldar [00:17:38]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:17:38]:
But you're consciously having, like, you know, you're not understanding, but you are correct. Gonna gravitate towards that because it's what you desire. What everybody, again, I think everybody desires.

Eldar [00:17:47]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:17:48]:
Is to be happy, be themselves, and be okay with presenting that.

Eldar [00:17:52]:
Yeah. You know? Yeah.

Phillip [00:17:54]:
I think it becomes a currency.

Eldar [00:17:56]:
It does.

Phillip [00:17:57]:
It's like a currency exchange of, like, honesty. We're like that person who's maybe shut off. That just shows how powerful the truth is where, like, somebody is shut off and you're being your authentic self.

Eldar [00:18:06]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:18:06]:
There's something that. That they're gravitating to that they're connecting to that, like, they're shut off. They feel that, like, that's.

Eldar [00:18:15]:
They can't control it inside that light.

Eldar [00:18:16]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:18:16]:
They can.

Eldar [00:18:17]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:18:18]:
It's a magnet that they can't control.

Eldar [00:18:20]:
Yes.

Eldar [00:18:20]:
It's already on the energy level.

Eldar [00:18:22]:
Yes. Yeah.

Eldar [00:18:23]:
Degree.

Mike [00:18:24]:
It's beyond, like.

Eldar [00:18:24]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:18:25]:
It's bigger than any blocks or anything.

Eldar [00:18:26]:
It is.

Mike [00:18:27]:
It sounds mystical.

Eldar [00:18:28]:
That's.

Mike [00:18:28]:
That's how to profess that.

Eldar [00:18:29]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:18:29]:
And obviously, if you rap.

Phillip [00:18:30]:
Sounds normal to me.

Eldar [00:18:31]:
Yeah. No, I think.

Eldar [00:18:33]:
But it could be dangerous because some people will rap that thing. You know what I mean? Like, overly confident person, you know, and you can say, oh, I actually, I'm selling a book. Next thing you know, you fucking following the damn guy and reading a stupid ass book.

Eldar [00:18:46]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:18:46]:
You know, so you gotta. You also gotta be careful.

Eldar [00:18:49]:
Yeah. You know what I mean?

Eldar [00:18:49]:
What you're receiving and stuff, you know, and next thing you know, you fucking meditating. She's not knowing what the fuck is going on. You know what I'm saying, why are you doing it?

Eldar [00:18:58]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:18:59]:
Stuff like that.

Eldar [00:19:02]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:19:02]:
So I think those. Those things are difficult also, because then you're saying, you know, when you break down, like, individual things that I was doing with this state, you know, what. What is actually healthy and then what's not? And I think we were kind of touching on that today with, like, OCD versus, like, not doing anything and just being, like, you know, lazy.

Eldar [00:19:22]:
Right.

Phillip [00:19:22]:
Like a slob. So slob versus OCD. And then, like, what's the balance? So it's like, you can say any. We can talk about any topic, right? Like, you can say nutrition. You can say eating. Like, um, you know, undereating. Overeating.

Eldar [00:19:35]:
Right.

Phillip [00:19:35]:
Like, yeah. What's the balance of, like, proper nutrition? Like, are you depriving yourself, or you, like, just, like, indulging in on everything?

Eldar [00:19:42]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:19:42]:
You know, same thing with working out. Like, are you working out, like, for your health? Like, do you actually enjoy it? And I realized, like, in the morning, like, I don't really enjoy working out, but, like, I know that, like, it makes my body look good, and I feel actually pretty good, but, like, I don't enjoy actually working out. I like walking, but I don't get the desired body that I want. So, like, that's kind of a. Like, a conundrum for me. Like, what's the answer? Like, find a workout that you like, but then, like, what do you do? So I think you can put this in kind of the thing is.

Eldar [00:20:12]:
Right? Yeah, but if.

Eldar [00:20:13]:
Yeah, but in the workout example.

Eldar [00:20:15]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:20:15]:
Is what if?

Eldar [00:20:16]:
What if?

Eldar [00:20:17]:
Why are you working out? You would have to ask yourself, why are you working out?

Eldar [00:20:19]:
Why?

Eldar [00:20:19]:
You want a specific type of body, right. What can you not accomplish with having a walking body, right? Because if you're walking a lot, right, you're still slim. What's wrong with being slim and accomplishing things that you want to accomplish? You can walk more. Great.

Phillip [00:20:33]:
I got to look at myself in.

Eldar [00:20:34]:
The mirror and say what?

Phillip [00:20:36]:
I got to like it.

Eldar [00:20:38]:
But for what reason?

Eldar [00:20:41]:
What do you.

Eldar [00:20:42]:
What are you trying to, like? What are you trying to accomplish?

Phillip [00:20:44]:
I want to like how it looks for me. I know that genuinely. And I think maybe that's, like, design me or, like, aesthetic me, but, like, I know that when I look.

Eldar [00:20:55]:
How do you combat aging?

Mike [00:20:57]:
You remove all the mirrors from your house.

Phillip [00:20:59]:
It's a tough one.

Eldar [00:21:02]:
You know what I'm saying? Because, like, okay, cool. Like, maybe a 20 year old. I see 25 year old. Okay, maybe 30 year old. You're pushing 40.

Eldar [00:21:09]:
Right.

Eldar [00:21:10]:
You know, I'm saying I think the clock is going more and more against you 100%.

Eldar [00:21:14]:
Right? Yeah.

Eldar [00:21:15]:
Let's just say, like, because we just age like the body's age.

Eldar [00:21:17]:
Right.

Eldar [00:21:18]:
I'm not saying that you won't look good in your forties. You probably will.

Eldar [00:21:20]:
Right.

Eldar [00:21:21]:
Because you do take care of yourself.

Eldar [00:21:22]:
Right.

Eldar [00:21:23]:
But aging is nonetheless a phenomenon.

Phillip [00:21:25]:
It's an evidence.

Eldar [00:21:26]:
It's inevitable. It's a natural process.

Phillip [00:21:28]:
So what. So what is like that? So again, what is that balance?

Eldar [00:21:31]:
It's like, what would you rather value right now?

Eldar [00:21:35]:
Right.

Eldar [00:21:36]:
The walking and then accepting yourself for who you are, taking care of your mind if you're looking within yourself or the person that you see in the mirror.

Eldar [00:21:44]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:21:45]:
Or I was gonna ask, what do you value more? Looking good or actually feeling good.

Eldar [00:21:49]:
Exactly. That's what I was trying to get to.

Eldar [00:21:51]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:21:51]:
Because the gym, it's. It's not. Definitely does not. You're not feeling good, but you look good.

Eldar [00:21:58]:
Right.

Mike [00:21:58]:
Which one is actually more valuable outside of you, outside of his individual phil and in the truth of the matter.

Eldar [00:22:04]:
Right. So I.

Phillip [00:22:05]:
So I think so. So I would say definitely. For me, it's definitely. I would say that's tough. Looking and feeling good. I want to say feeling good, but I think I wouldn't be honest with myself right now if I said me looking in the mirror and saying I want to look, like, have my body look a certain way isn't important. Yeah, I would say that's definitely tough.

Eldar [00:22:25]:
What does that mean? Can you. Can you describe. You're like. Like, are you happy with the way you look now?

Phillip [00:22:32]:
Definitely a lot more. I'm definitely happier with how my body looks now versus, like, six or eight or months ago or a year ago. I said, how was that?

Eldar [00:22:41]:
Like, what was the difference?

Phillip [00:22:42]:
I remember had more weight. So I remember laying down and looking down at my stomach and, like, I was, like, I was really upset. Like, I think I was upset with myself that I let myself get to that point. And I remember walking. I was down river road, and I got, like, really sad. Like, I got, like, emotionally sax. I felt like I had, like, a fat suit on. Like, I felt like I was carrying extra weight, and I got really sad with myself.

Phillip [00:23:05]:
And I think that was, like, a moment where, like, that was probably, like, a really big change moment for me, where I was like, all right, I want to change my diet. I want to change this. I think a couple things, like COVID and stuff, getting sick. Then, like, as a result of COVID and stuff, you know, you sit home you watch Netflix. I think a lot of people went through this. You know, you sit home, you watch Netflix, a lot more lazy. You're not having as much social interaction. So I was probably, I don't know, 200 pounds, 200 change, and now I got down, like, 178 or whatever.

Phillip [00:23:35]:
So it's 2022 pounds. Like, I feel like that, actually. I felt every pound of it, and I didn't feel like myself. And I think part of it, there's a look, and then also part of it is a feeling. So, like, to pick one or the other, I think, would be tough for me. Make sense?

Eldar [00:23:53]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:23:53]:
So I think that maybe we're talking about two different things here. The result of what happened. He likes that. No, no, no. He doesn't like that.

Mike [00:24:02]:
He doesn't like the.

Eldar [00:24:02]:
Oh, no.

Eldar [00:24:03]:
She didn't like the result.

Eldar [00:24:04]:
Right.

Phillip [00:24:04]:
But I didn't like the result of what I became.

Eldar [00:24:06]:
Became.

Eldar [00:24:07]:
But I think what he actually didn't like is probably all the actions behind it.

Eldar [00:24:12]:
Right? Yeah.

Eldar [00:24:13]:
What got him there.

Eldar [00:24:14]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:24:14]:
What type of lifestyle? What type of habit?

Phillip [00:24:17]:
Like, a sedentary lifestyle of, like, doing nothing.

Eldar [00:24:19]:
All right.

Eldar [00:24:20]:
And then. And then the results, like, oh, I have a gut.

Eldar [00:24:23]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:24:24]:
You know what I mean? Like, and that's what I think. See? Like, yeah, I think that he probably was more upset. I would say the genuine upset can come from the fact that he didn't actually like the habits behind the result.

Eldar [00:24:35]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:24:35]:
Not the actual result. So our result is.

Eldar [00:24:39]:
No, but I think it's, like, more than I. Like, I think it's more than one thing. Like, I think that there's probably, like, a lot of variables there when it comes to, like, self esteem.

Eldar [00:24:50]:
Yeah, I agree with that. Yeah, I wrote that. Not the actual look.

Eldar [00:24:55]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:24:55]:
Cuz, like, it's what tides.

Eldar [00:24:57]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:24:57]:
You just have to, like. Like, if you just think about the look. I mean, like, I guess some people more than often.

Eldar [00:25:02]:
Right.

Eldar [00:25:02]:
But, like, how much of your day. What percent of your day spent looking in, like, the mirror?

Eldar [00:25:06]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:25:07]:
Like, even if you do it a lot, very small, could it be 1% or less?

Eldar [00:25:10]:
Right.

Eldar [00:25:11]:
So, like. And that's. That. That's the time that you, like, would mainly see.

Eldar [00:25:16]:
Right.

Eldar [00:25:16]:
Then, other than that, you just kind of, like, you're living your life. It's not like you're, like, always, like, you know, like. Okay, like, you know, like. Right, like, so I think there's definitely, like, self esteem tied to it. And the way that I see, like, this fitness thing, for example, Philip. Like, I see it more as, like. Like. Like, I think like, that.

Eldar [00:25:40]:
That's like, what he perceives is, like, his value to himself. Like, like, I almost feel that, like, that. That's like himself. Like a currency grade.

Eldar [00:25:49]:
He gives himself grade.

Eldar [00:25:50]:
Yeah. Based on that.

Eldar [00:25:52]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Eldar [00:25:54]:
Is that true?

Eldar [00:25:56]:
Mmm.

Phillip [00:25:57]:
I would say, like, I consider myself somebody, like, who works hard, so, like, if I can put that into a place that I can control, which is working out.

Eldar [00:26:05]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:26:05]:
Would say, yeah, there's something there. But I think what you touched on also was the lifestyle. I think that was really big. I used to be somebody who, like, watched tv, like, constantly, like, said, home. I can watch movies and movies for hours.

Eldar [00:26:17]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:26:18]:
Eating just kind of whatever I want. And now I'm, like, very particular on what I eat. I'm constantly out of the house. I do very little television, like, very little watching, like, tick tock and stuff like that. And those are big things for me. So those, those I changed. So I think. I think how I was feeling was probably the most important driver of that.

Phillip [00:26:37]:
And like you said, the result was, you know, looking a certain way. So I'm associating looking a certain way with that lifestyle. So to me, they go hand in hand, and that definitely resonates. So I would say that was definitely a main driver, if not the driver.

Eldar [00:26:52]:
Yeah, no, I think. Yeah, I think that you probably describing a phenomena that we always go through when it comes to the gym and not going to the gym for a little while. But we've been going for a while. We became stronger. You know, we definitely feel it.

Eldar [00:27:04]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:27:04]:
In the exercises that we do. And then if we fall off, get sick or whatever, two months off, they come back. You're like, oh, man, all the gains or all the strength is gone.

Eldar [00:27:12]:
Right?

Eldar [00:27:13]:
So you start associating that previous self with the current self. You're like, oh, I'm a loser. So you're being hard on yourself in that moment, right?

Phillip [00:27:20]:
Definitely.

Eldar [00:27:22]:
Rarely do we say it's okay, you know, like, we got sick. You know, this was going on. There's no a good, like, self talk there, right? Usually it's like, beat yourself up, put guilt trips on yourself to come back, to motivate yourself to do that.

Eldar [00:27:36]:
Right.

Eldar [00:27:37]:
We're not always just nice to ourselves. So, you know, why is it so.

Phillip [00:27:42]:
Difficult to be nice to ourselves? Or at least for me?

Eldar [00:27:45]:
I think we really. We know that. Just not for you. I think it's for everyone. I think you're just. We don't value self love. We don't understand ourselves. That's a combination of those two.

Eldar [00:27:57]:
Number one, we don't understand ourselves, and number two, we don't know how to love ourselves. So that's all we subject ourselves to.

Phillip [00:28:04]:
Like, because I, I see, like, when I see people, like, doing that, I almost think it's like a, like a joke sometimes. Like, I don't know, like, if somebody's being, like, genuine, but I sometimes, like, you hear, like, you know, like, you know, I don't know if it's, you know, people that just say, like, you know, stay affirmed, like, affirmation type, you know, situations like that. Like when I see that, I almost think that's like a joke. Like, I don't even know if I have a really good example of, like, somebody having positive self talk. You know what I'm saying?

Mike [00:28:33]:
I asked elder about this affirmation stuff before.

Phillip [00:28:36]:
I don't, I never seen it like.

Mike [00:28:37]:
A genius, I think. Yes, because those people are just saying words, but they have no idea, they haven't done the work behind it to understand what they're actually saying.

Phillip [00:28:45]:
Yes, yes, those are just words.

Mike [00:28:47]:
Like, oh, I'm good enough, but what does that mean? Why are you good enough? What qualities are those qualities that you're saying make you good enough or they actually rooted in the truth or is it bullshit?

Phillip [00:28:55]:
Right.

Mike [00:28:56]:
You know, so what are you highlighting?

Eldar [00:28:57]:
Yes, because there's plenty, plenty of we can talk about plenty of the qualities that you have or anybody of us have that makes you a piece of shit person.

Eldar [00:29:05]:
Right?

Phillip [00:29:05]:
So if I'm just saying I love myself, right? And I'm doing all these things to, like, put myself in a cage, like, so do I love, do I love that?

Eldar [00:29:14]:
That's right.

Phillip [00:29:15]:
So to me, it goes back to, we were talking about Tony. If you don't know yourself, can you love yourself or the other person? And I think that's true for me right now and kind of anybody. So if you don't know yourself and you're just throwing out these random affirmations or quotes and saying, I love myself, I treat myself great, who are you? What is great? Are we going to break down what we're defining and are we going to be very specific on it and we're going to be honest with ourselves? So to me, again, like, I never seen somebody do the affirmation where it resonated with me, where I'm like, oh, yeah, like that. Like, this guy loves himself. Like, I've never seen that match up.

Mike [00:29:55]:
With the action and, yeah, everything else.

Phillip [00:29:57]:
Like, it's phony to me.

Eldar [00:29:58]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a lot of people say I'm a nice guy.

Eldar [00:30:01]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:30:01]:
With a big heart that we always talk about.

Phillip [00:30:03]:
This example, the big heart guy.

Eldar [00:30:04]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:30:05]:
We girls and guys, we know this, and I'm sure girls know this even more.

Eldar [00:30:08]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:30:10]:
I think when it comes to this, like, there's, like, the main variable that we all have, which is, like, a ticking thing, is, like, attachment. You know that, like, we're attached to certain ideas, certain, like, reality, like, certain certain things that we think, like, certain. Certain things run certain ways or ought to be certain ways or, like, certain goals you have, like, all that is just always ticking in, like, the background, and you're always, like, thinking about. Or, like, expecting expectations is also one.

Eldar [00:30:41]:
Right?

Eldar [00:30:41]:
Like. Like, my expectation today was, I'm gonna come, like, leave work, go home, start making some food for the next, like, two days, and then have that prepared, go to my game, and then be able to, like, relax afterwards. But then, like, you guys are then talking about, like, having a conversation here instead of right away transitioning to, okay, it's not a big deal. It's not that important. I can just do that, like, tomorrow or something. Like, I first had to go through something and then realize.

Eldar [00:31:11]:
Throw.

Eldar [00:31:12]:
Yeah, I said throw. Like, a little fit, and then realize that, like, you know, like, this is probably more important than, like, you know, what I had planned to do, but because I had certain expectations or certain, like, attachments behind it.

Eldar [00:31:25]:
Very good point.

Eldar [00:31:25]:
It was not as smooth as a transition as I wanted.

Eldar [00:31:32]:
What?

Eldar [00:31:33]:
For example, I think elders, for him, it's much easier. Like, he could have some kind of plan or some expectation.

Eldar [00:31:38]:
I bought in into this shit a long time ago.

Eldar [00:31:41]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:31:41]:
So I'm a sucker for these types of conversations. You know what I mean?

Eldar [00:31:45]:
Yeah, no, but I'm saying that, like, not having, like, the, like, even if you had.

Eldar [00:31:50]:
But I have a. I know what you're talking about, and I have those things in my mind, and they're there.

Phillip [00:31:54]:
I have seen that you do it quicker. Is that what you're saying?

Eldar [00:31:58]:
His switch is faster.

Eldar [00:31:59]:
Where?

Eldar [00:31:59]:
For me, I had to walk down that hallway, and then I had to turn. Some people don't do it at walking.

Phillip [00:32:04]:
Like me today, like this. Like, I was having some resistance to it. It's like I was defending myself a little bit.

Eldar [00:32:10]:
Like.

Phillip [00:32:10]:
And then slowly, slowly, slowly it came about. But the point is, like, whether you do it really quick, you get to the point, like, you're around people that, like, it's. It's fine. Like, eventually you get to the point where, like, okay, you come to your senses. And we're not like being like total resistant nuts. We're like, we're just saying walking out. We're saying, like, I'm not dealing with it. So I think the speed in which, like, it happens, like, I think it's admirable, but at the end of the day, like, we're all going to get to the same place, which is like, we're all going to hear each other out.

Phillip [00:32:36]:
We all want to hear the truth. We all want to connect, like. And to me, like, the speed of.

Eldar [00:32:40]:
His example is a very good one because.

Eldar [00:32:43]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:32:44]:
The attachment that we put ourselves on, right. And with the assumption then that that is the most important thing that we need to do for ourselves, our conviction behind those things doesn't allow us to become fluid like water, to be able to adjust in accordance to things that happen in life. Right. What you become through attachment, you become very rigid and stiff. You know what I mean?

Phillip [00:33:08]:
That's the discipline pillars. All that stuff's attached to it.

Eldar [00:33:11]:
Yes.

Eldar [00:33:12]:
So what you do is you, like, you drill yourself like, this is what needs to get done. And there's nothing that you're gonna allow because that's where it's gonna bring you peace, liberation, or some kind of shit that you conjured in your mind.

Eldar [00:33:26]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:33:26]:
You know what I'm saying? Where I, a long time ago when I discovered philosophy, I was like, yo, this shit is fucking. This is crack to me, bro. You know what I mean? So I'm a sucker for this kind of shit. I lose track of time. I'm always late, people. I have plans right now.

Phillip [00:33:39]:
I might have plans right now.

Eldar [00:33:40]:
I don't know about that. I've committed somewhere to someone. I'm not doing it on purpose, but because of this, I get pulled in so much that I love listening and learning that I.

Eldar [00:33:51]:
This, this.

Eldar [00:33:52]:
There's nothing that can bother me here. There could be a fucking war outside. This is driving me crazy.

Eldar [00:33:57]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:33:57]:
You know what I'm saying? Like, in a good way, you know?

Eldar [00:34:00]:
Yes.

Eldar [00:34:00]:
So, like, maybe I built attachment towards this, and that's why that's always comes to become the priority and always like, oh, if I have a list, no problem. But if this comes about like Philip said, hey, this, I rearranged that shit real quick. I was like, yo, the game's at 830. What am I talking about? What am I gonna do? You know what I mean? I was gonna go visit my mom.

Eldar [00:34:16]:
You know what I mean?

Eldar [00:34:17]:
After this, Catherine's not home. I was gonna do all that, but then I was like, yo, I really. This is. This is really interesting, you know, like, and how his transition and then what we can input in this. I was like, no, this is. I want to do this. You know, it was a quick switch.

Eldar [00:34:32]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:34:32]:
Yes, I think. Yeah, one. One thing is, like, the attachments, but, like, I think at least through, like, all my experiences and all, like. Like, all my whole, like, journey.

Eldar [00:34:48]:
Right.

Eldar [00:34:49]:
Like, I would say, like, one of the biggest takeaways in general I have is that, like, it's difficult to really know at all times in your life in general, like, all your moments of existence, all your interactions with people, to know, like, the truth about the scenario and the. The reality of what's actually going on outside of your perception of it.

Eldar [00:35:16]:
That's a deep statement.

Eldar [00:35:17]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:35:18]:
Like, the realization that, like.

Eldar [00:35:23]:
You.

Eldar [00:35:24]:
There's lots of times where you could be completely wrong and, like. And, like, on a second to moment. Like, moment to moment basis is, like, a difficult. At least for me, at times when I think about it, it's like, a difficult concept, you know? And I think that, like.

Eldar [00:35:47]:
Definitely.

Eldar [00:35:47]:
I think a goal is to be able to. To get to the bottom of those things and to, like, reduce the amount of experiences where you're living under a false perception of what's, like in comparison to what's actually going on. And I think that is also a big issue in that, too.

Eldar [00:36:10]:
Is that because your head is just so filled with so much attachment.

Eldar [00:36:16]:
See, see, it's definitely a lot of his attachment, but a lot of it is just, like, there's so many, like, just, again, like, unexamined flow states that, like, you have and things that you have learned that are, like, again, like, so, so, like, what's viewed upon is so simple when you were a kid. Whatever it is, right. Like, so many things that have not been properly examined, but you still live them out. And sometimes the simplest things are the ones that affect you, like, the most in your life.

Eldar [00:36:53]:
Right.

Eldar [00:36:55]:
And I think that, like, those are probably the most challenging to get to the bottom of because, like. Like, you could really go down a rabbit hole of, like, how.

Eldar [00:37:05]:
How.

Eldar [00:37:06]:
Like. Like, what kind of. How simple are you willing to reexamine?

Eldar [00:37:10]:
Right.

Eldar [00:37:10]:
As simple as toilet paper.

Eldar [00:37:12]:
As simple as toilet paper.

Eldar [00:37:13]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:37:13]:
I have a ten year old example. Yeah. Remember when you liberated yourself?

Eldar [00:37:18]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:37:18]:
You could tell the audience right now if anybody out there.

Eldar [00:37:21]:
Yeah. Right.

Eldar [00:37:22]:
That are wiping their ass by crumbling the paper into a ball and then fucking going up and down. Stop doing that.

Eldar [00:37:32]:
Right? Yes.

Eldar [00:37:33]:
Fold the napkin in half or fold the toilet paper in half and comfortably swipe.

Phillip [00:37:41]:
Are you against baby wipes or that?

Eldar [00:37:43]:
I'm not, but I'm also not a baby wiper.

Eldar [00:37:45]:
Yeah, yeah.

Eldar [00:37:46]:
But that's like, that's a simple example that you don't know. Somebody out there is listening right now and they're wiping their ass by crumbling the fucking piece of paper or whatever it is into this little thing. There was a fucking visual into a ball. And then they swiping it.

Phillip [00:38:02]:
I think brushing your teeth falls in this category. I had to, like, re show myself how to brush my teeth a certain way because I had sensitive gums and just brushing on, like, aggressively brushing.

Eldar [00:38:11]:
Right.

Phillip [00:38:11]:
Very aggressive. And I had to do, I had a brush on a certain angle, get a certain type of brush, and I had to get corrective surgery as a result of it because I messed my gums up. Brushing and grinding my teeth.

Eldar [00:38:22]:
Hold on 1 second. Let me ask you one question.

Eldar [00:38:24]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:38:25]:
Have you ever timed yourself? How long did you brush your teeth for? How long do you brush your teeth for?

Phillip [00:38:29]:
I know I don't time it.

Mike [00:38:31]:
If you were to take a guess.

Eldar [00:38:32]:
If you take a wild guess, how long do you brush your teeth?

Phillip [00:38:35]:
Anywhere from 30 seconds to two minutes.

Eldar [00:38:38]:
On the two minute mark.

Eldar [00:38:39]:
Right?

Eldar [00:38:40]:
Two minutes.

Eldar [00:38:40]:
Two minutes.

Phillip [00:38:41]:
Very, very long.

Eldar [00:38:42]:
I thought he was gonna say 30 minutes.

Eldar [00:38:44]:
Oh, my God.

Eldar [00:38:45]:
Actually leave.

Eldar [00:38:46]:
You want to get up and body slam him?

Eldar [00:38:48]:
Okay.

Eldar [00:38:49]:
I was gonna go leave without saying a word and go make the.

Phillip [00:38:51]:
But, but I'll say, I'll say this, though. That's just brushing. There's tongue scraping. There is flossing.

Mike [00:38:57]:
There's mouthwash.

Phillip [00:38:58]:
I don't do mouthwash, but upside down tongue.

Mike [00:39:02]:
What about the acid pulling thing? What is it called?

Phillip [00:39:05]:
Oh, and oil pulling.

Eldar [00:39:06]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:39:07]:
So, so total combined, like, it can be a 1015 minutes or.

Eldar [00:39:12]:
And this is what you've been doing to yourself.

Eldar [00:39:14]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Eldar [00:39:14]:
So just like, to me, like, that is a crazy phenomenon that there is all different things going up in all of our lives. You see, right now, he's been violently.

Eldar [00:39:23]:
Brushing his teeth for two minutes and he fucked himself up.

Eldar [00:39:27]:
And.

Phillip [00:39:27]:
But grinding teeth also. So it's grinding teeth combination with brushing.

Eldar [00:39:30]:
See, he's trying to see what he's doing.

Phillip [00:39:31]:
I'm just giving you, I'm giving you all the examples. I'm giving all the examples. But it's right in line with booze.

Eldar [00:39:37]:
Wiping your butts.

Phillip [00:39:38]:
I thought it was a good example that everybody does.

Eldar [00:39:39]:
Every teeth is a very good example.

Eldar [00:39:41]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:39:41]:
Because everybody does.

Eldar [00:39:42]:
Not.

Eldar [00:39:42]:
Not grinding the teeth like that's involuntary movement.

Phillip [00:39:45]:
Oh, no, I'm saying it added to that, actually.

Eldar [00:39:47]:
Yeah, yeah.

Eldar [00:39:48]:
All right.

Eldar [00:39:48]:
So violently brushing your teeth was just, like, thing, like, where you have control over.

Eldar [00:39:52]:
Right? Yeah.

Eldar [00:39:53]:
You don't have control over, like, let's say, grinding teeth the middle of the night.

Eldar [00:39:57]:
Fair. Yeah.

Eldar [00:39:59]:
So simple things like that can. Can really fuck you up. And then we're talking about physical examples, but we're not even talking about thought patterns.

Eldar [00:40:08]:
Yeah, yeah.

Eldar [00:40:09]:
I'm mainly definitely talking about the, like, the thought pattern.

Eldar [00:40:12]:
We have to start slow and.

Eldar [00:40:14]:
Yeah. Just. Yeah.

Eldar [00:40:15]:
How you act, how you think. What's, like. I think a huge thing is that, like, I think humans have, like, this unique ability to not think about these things, but we just have, like, a. Like, a rule book in our heads. All of us has many, many pages. Like, you know, probably thousands, if not, like, hundreds of thousands of pages long. References of references to rules, to situations.

Eldar [00:40:42]:
Right.

Eldar [00:40:43]:
And we have the ability. Cause, like, our brains are so sharp and react so fast, no matter, like, who we are.

Eldar [00:40:51]:
Right.

Eldar [00:40:51]:
That, like, we just have this rulebook of what to do. And it's. I mean, it serves us in a way that it's very fast. And we don't have to, like, take half an hour to, like, take one step or something.

Eldar [00:41:05]:
Right.

Eldar [00:41:05]:
It's like an instant, like, reaction.

Eldar [00:41:06]:
Right.

Eldar [00:41:07]:
Or, like breathing.

Eldar [00:41:08]:
Right.

Eldar [00:41:08]:
It's not something that you have to think about doing.

Eldar [00:41:10]:
That's. Right.

Eldar [00:41:11]:
Try to do.

Eldar [00:41:11]:
Right.

Eldar [00:41:11]:
It just happens. And.

Eldar [00:41:15]:
But.

Eldar [00:41:15]:
But also, it works against us in the way that we are very easily susceptible to routines, to rules is a big thing. Like I was saying. And all these different rules that we have, they have this, like. Like, automated authority of how we act and what we do.

Eldar [00:41:35]:
Right.

Eldar [00:41:35]:
And, like, re examining all of these things, I think, is very important.

Eldar [00:41:42]:
I think that's what Philip was going through.

Eldar [00:41:43]:
Yeah, yeah.

Eldar [00:41:44]:
And again, you really don't understand how deep the rulebook goes. Up until you start. You actually start. And even when you think that you've examined how did the rule book goes, you always find more and more and more. And there. There's no, like, where you're like, all right, I already discovered everything. I know everything.

Eldar [00:41:59]:
I'm done with life. I'm checking out.

Eldar [00:42:01]:
Yeah, yeah, that.

Eldar [00:42:02]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:42:03]:
Almost wanted to get hit in the head with a pipe, you said.

Eldar [00:42:06]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:42:06]:
Earlier.

Eldar [00:42:07]:
Yes. Right.

Eldar [00:42:08]:
So it, like, that.

Eldar [00:42:09]:
That.

Eldar [00:42:09]:
That to me, again, like, I definitely keep, like, repeating it, but it's like. It's just extremely, like, it's a sick phenomenon to me about how, like, how, like, we're composed and all the different actions we take. And then, like. But then we also are given the sick, unique ability of reflection.

Eldar [00:42:29]:
Yeah. Right, yeah.

Eldar [00:42:30]:
That, like, we're not, like, I'm not sure, but I think, like, maybe, like, animals or, for example, for dogs, like, I'm not sure if they have that same, like, a memory bank, like, length.

Eldar [00:42:43]:
Mm hmm. Right.

Eldar [00:42:44]:
Or like, that. That, like, ability of, like, reflection.

Eldar [00:42:47]:
Yeah. Right.

Eldar [00:42:48]:
And that ability of reflection, I think, helps. Helps us make, maybe solve those automated things and prevent us from being completely autonomous.

Eldar [00:42:59]:
Yeah, but is it as reflection almost then a tool that comes after the mistakes happen? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Eldar [00:43:08]:
I definitely reflect.

Eldar [00:43:10]:
Animals might not make those same mistakes.

Eldar [00:43:12]:
They might not.

Eldar [00:43:12]:
Yeah. Right.

Eldar [00:43:13]:
They don't have attachment to, like, okay. Like. Like. Yeah, I did something wrong here or just keep them moving.

Eldar [00:43:19]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:43:19]:
You know?

Eldar [00:43:19]:
Yeah, yeah.

Eldar [00:43:20]:
I just think that, like. Yeah, the. The reflection definitely, like, uh, helps us stop and, like to, like, under ponder a bit. And it's always an interesting thing because, like, you can really think about all these different. Different things and, like, try. Try to implement ways to fix them.

Eldar [00:43:38]:
Go back to you, Phil, to fix them.

Phillip [00:43:41]:
Fixing time, putting yourself out there, being 100% honest with you. With yourself, and not really worrying about the, like, the outcome or the result.

Eldar [00:43:54]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:43:55]:
Like a robot. Like, a perfectly. You don't need AI when you have Philip. Phil fucking learns this shit. Like this, bro. It's a. Regurgitate it right away.

Eldar [00:44:02]:
Yeah, solid.

Eldar [00:44:03]:
Not bad, Philip.

Eldar [00:44:04]:
I feel pretty good flipping burgers.

Eldar [00:44:06]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:44:07]:
Yeah. Yeah, man.

Eldar [00:44:10]:
All right. Yeah.

Phillip [00:44:11]:
Today was definitely an unraveler. The discipline was definitely the one of the first ones. And then I think we're talking about the people pleasing was definitely a big one. I think obviously, this ties into that.

Eldar [00:44:26]:
Like. Like, we talk about, like, lying to yourself or not being honest to yourself.

Eldar [00:44:30]:
Right?

Eldar [00:44:31]:
Like, do we think that, like, there is, like, a choice in that matter, or are both kind of, like, actions tied to, like, just, like, the understanding of the current reality or current, like, perception of what's. Like, are you, like, can you actually lie to yourself, or can you actually be honest with. With yourself? Or are you just yourself at that moment based on what your perception of just reality is at that situation?

Eldar [00:45:03]:
It's an interesting question. What you're saying is that, are you reacting, right? Are you just reacting throughout your day, or are you.

Eldar [00:45:11]:
Are you just doing what. What. You know is what I'm saying.

Eldar [00:45:14]:
Right. Yeah. Like.

Eldar [00:45:15]:
Or are you acting out of, like, out of the reflection that you deduced?

Eldar [00:45:18]:
Right.

Eldar [00:45:19]:
Because Phil has been on. Going on this, with this example, like automation or autopilot, almost, right? It's like, okay, this is like what I was taught to do by the society, by my friends and everybody else put on this, hide behind this relationship, you know, title or whatever, in order to get what I want. Like a bait, almost, right? He's been doing this for a very long time, but now he's reflecting on. He's like, wait a second. Yeah, I got it all wrong. Now he's thinking, yes, that's what I'm saying.

Eldar [00:45:47]:
In those moments, was he actually lying to himself, or was he doing what he understood and what he knew?

Phillip [00:45:52]:
Well, what's the truth, right?

Eldar [00:45:54]:
The truth of the matter is, for an observer, yeah, he's definitely lying to himself, because if the observers sees that, okay, Philip actually doesn't want a relationship.

Eldar [00:46:03]:
Okay?

Eldar [00:46:04]:
Right. Okay.

Eldar [00:46:05]:
It's clear. Okay, he's a horn dog, and this is what he wants. However he's using relationship to get what he wants. It's like, it's like the suit. It's like suicide bombers, right? Hiding behind religion to tell everybody.

Eldar [00:46:20]:
Yeah, yeah.

Eldar [00:46:21]:
To kill everybody.

Eldar [00:46:22]:
Like, they just.

Phillip [00:46:23]:
They're just nuts. They just want to kill people.

Eldar [00:46:24]:
That's right.

Phillip [00:46:25]:
So just kill.

Eldar [00:46:25]:
Right.

Eldar [00:46:25]:
And they hide behind religion, that religion says this. You know what I mean? So therefore, I'm gonna go shop this mom and do what I do, and so I can go into heaven and get a thousand versions, right? So it's. It's kind of. Kind of that thing where he was lying to himself, but as soon as he finds out, like, oh, wait, wait a second. What am I doing here? I have other options. I could be myself. I could be happier, actually still accomplish what I want. Why not? I think there's plenty of people out there that's gonna.

Eldar [00:46:50]:
Where he.

Eldar [00:46:51]:
When he reaches out to them and says, hey, like, all I want to do is, you know, have an adult type of interaction, have sex and part ways. Are you okay with this? I mean, like, we have apps that are created just for that reason. You know what I mean? Where people just come, they fuck, and you leave. That's it. You know what I mean? So there's plenty of people that have urges. There's nothing out of ordinary here. You know what I mean? Some people fuck with that kind of shit. Some people don't, you know, literally, you know? But, yeah, he was going around and hiding, I think.

Eldar [00:47:24]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Eldar [00:47:26]:
Okay. Yeah, yeah, I see that.

Eldar [00:47:27]:
Like, the observer in that situation can see that. Like, he has one intention, but he really wants something else. But doesn't know how to convey that.

Eldar [00:47:34]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:47:37]:
He uses a bait to get what he wants.

Eldar [00:47:39]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:47:39]:
I just don't know. Like, in the moat moment, whether that kind of manipulation is what's going on or whether it's like a confused, like, individual.

Eldar [00:47:48]:
Like, in the.

Eldar [00:47:49]:
In the actual moment, they is he. Like, I don't think.

Eldar [00:47:53]:
I actually think in that moment already he's been conditioned. I think in the beginning, he was probably creating this plan of action and attack. Originally, right. When he was learning the world and understanding the world, he created that. But when he's already doing it now, like ten years fast forward, he's already just an autopilot.

Eldar [00:48:12]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:48:13]:
And more. He just living based on the rules.

Eldar [00:48:15]:
He created himself.

Eldar [00:48:17]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Eldar [00:48:17]:
That he bought in. Into those already acting out belief systems that are close to his heart.

Eldar [00:48:23]:
What he.

Eldar [00:48:23]:
What he knows and sense, you know? And he didn't think that there was any other way.

Eldar [00:48:28]:
Right. Yeah.

Phillip [00:48:30]:
I would say that the two things that did deter me or a couple things were like, you know, if you're just gonna be, like, very free in this world, there are repercussions. Like anything else. Like, you can be with somebody that you don't necessarily love. You can get them pregnant and, like, you have a situation. You can get an STD and, like, you can be in a situation that, like, you can carry for the rest of your life. And then when you do find somebody you love, it can be a problem. So, like, there's a lot of things that deter me from doing it, but if I just listen to myself and there wasn't any consequences, if you ask me, like, hey, no consequences to doing this, like, you can just sleep with anybody.

Eldar [00:49:03]:
Like, yeah, but even though that's not a crapshoot that you can't avoid, right. Even those things, like, you can find a person who's gonna say. Who's gonna have an adult conversation with you, is to say, like, yeah, I get horny. Oh, me too. Do you care about STD's? I do. Me too. Would you be okay with getting tested? Yeah, of course. Me too.

Eldar [00:49:22]:
Here's my test. Here's your test.

Eldar [00:49:24]:
And you.

Eldar [00:49:25]:
We're not trying to have a baby, right? No, I pull out every time we have sex.

Eldar [00:49:28]:
Yeah. Cool.

Eldar [00:49:28]:
All right, let's do this. Like, these are the type of things I think that can be talked about.

Eldar [00:49:33]:
You know what I mean?

Eldar [00:49:33]:
You're not presenting any problems that are, like, should hold you away from actually exploring that and enjoying yourself. Right. I guess it's not like a fucking lotto ticket.

Phillip [00:49:42]:
So I guess, like, I guess it just also comes back to those type of conversations, like when you don't know somebody and you're like, I guess in the people pleasing kind of mode and you're not being yourself, bringing up those conversations is probably a lot more difficult. Or it is. I'll say, yeah, it is. It's definitely more difficult because if I'm just being myself and I'm being honest, like, yes, I'd like to have that conversation, right. But to meet somebody, be like a total nut and just be myself, right. And then say like, hey, listen, these.

Eldar [00:50:09]:
Are things that I care about. These are non negotiable, that I think that any reasonable person, right? Any reasonable person would have these things too. And if you don't, yo, my dick don't get up. My dick don't get hard. If you're like, ah, nah, just fuck me raw. You know what I mean? Whatever happens, happens. I'm like, yo, that ain't the person I want to fuck. You know what I'm saying? That's not the person I want to fuck with at all.

Eldar [00:50:29]:
And I think that will be the same thing for you.

Eldar [00:50:31]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:50:31]:
If you actually found out, you'd be surprised how many more reasonable people are actually looking for exact same thing that you're looking for. Because it's a fucking reasonable thing.

Eldar [00:50:41]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:50:41]:
To me, like, going the opposite route is a total crap shoot. And that puts me in that state of I'd rather do nothing. And that's what I've been living in for a while.

Eldar [00:50:49]:
There you go.

Phillip [00:50:49]:
It's just, I'd rather do nothing then do that now, obviously, like there's attraction stuff like that. Me and Mike, we're also talking like, like the people that he was talking to. Like, he did have an attraction to. He did, like, he wasn't just going after like any random thing and just like being like, all right, let's do this. Like, there was a level of attraction that was there now. Level of attraction versus love, you know, two totally different things. But like, I think that's important too. Like there has to be some sort of basis, some sort of connection.

Phillip [00:51:16]:
And then like, what you're getting to is the understanding, kind of like that contract between one another and saying, hey, listen, like, this is my non negotiables of, you know, we get, we get tested, we don't want to have a kid. And like, in the case that it does happen, like, this is what, yeah, the conversation is going to be like, this is what we agree to.

Eldar [00:51:33]:
Yeah, yeah. If this happens, are you okay? Are you okay with an abortion straight up?

Eldar [00:51:38]:
Yes.

Eldar [00:51:38]:
Right.

Phillip [00:51:39]:
Instead of waiting till it is happens, and then you like, conversation going like.

Eldar [00:51:44]:
I don't know what to say. Exactly.

Eldar [00:51:45]:
Exactly. Yeah.

Phillip [00:51:46]:
I mean, being okay with having these conversations before they happen 100%, especially if.

Eldar [00:51:51]:
They'Re dear to you, like, if they're important to you, I don't see how you're gonna have fun.

Eldar [00:51:56]:
Right.

Eldar [00:51:56]:
And really enjoy yourself without addressing those things first.

Eldar [00:51:59]:
Yes.

Eldar [00:52:00]:
I think it's almost impossible, bro.

Phillip [00:52:02]:
I think you're right.

Eldar [00:52:03]:
You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I think you're right. So, you know, and if you do come across a person, like I said, that is not matching to you, you're gonna see your attraction firm first from, like, you were attracted to that. You're like, oh, wait a second. She's dirty. You know, gigs up.

Phillip [00:52:19]:
So being honest with yourself and being honest with them, the process of figuring out who you like is probably a lot easier when, you know, if you're a people pleaser, you're probably more susceptible to just somebody looking at you or somebody laughing at your joke or giving you a compliment and just being like, oh, man, maybe I can do something opposed to just letting those things kind of just come and go and not affecting your decisions of whether you, like, I've been like, you know, like, I think, I don't know. Maybe it's just me or guys versus, like, women. I find that, like, on a day to day basis, women get complimented a lot where they almost have to, like, fend guys off, especially if you're, like, attractive or model year attractive. If you're a girl, I'm sure they deal with this all the time. As a guy, I'm not, like, having people come up to me on a daily basis be like, wow, like, you're really good. Like, you're attractive. Like, I'm not getting that. So when somebody does look at you a certain way or somebody does say something, and you're a people pleaser, and you're very easily, like, susceptible to, like, you know, you know, any kind of compliment, I think.

Phillip [00:53:22]:
I think that's a scary place to be also, because then you'd be a lot more tempted or easily tempted to do things that you might not want to do, which, oh, wow.

Eldar [00:53:30]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:53:30]:
Oh. Therefore, that's why you feel like shit after.

Phillip [00:53:33]:
There you go. There you go.

Eldar [00:53:35]:
So, yeah, feel free.

Phillip [00:53:36]:
You don't.

Eldar [00:53:36]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:53:37]:
You're not really making a decision based on what you want to do. You're allowing the other person to start the conversation that shouldn't even be maybe involved with you at any level.

Eldar [00:53:44]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:53:45]:
You know, at least romantically.

Eldar [00:53:46]:
That's right.

Eldar [00:53:47]:
You know, that's right.

Eldar [00:53:48]:
Yeah. Yeah. So that's the.

Phillip [00:53:51]:
To me being a people pleaser and. And going back to, like, just through.

Eldar [00:53:56]:
Through.

Phillip [00:53:56]:
Through a couple times, you know, a few times throughout the years and, like, allowing that to happen, that's definitely one of the reasons why you'll definitely get that ick feeling or that feeling of, like, what? Like, what am I doing? It's like a shame or a guilt, and it's almost like, instantaneously that happens.

Eldar [00:54:12]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:54:12]:
After it's done. And you're like, what am I doing?

Eldar [00:54:15]:
You committed a crime against yourself. I think you're supposed to feel this way.

Eldar [00:54:18]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:54:18]:
And I supposed to feel this way.

Phillip [00:54:20]:
And if you're honest throughout the process before that even happens, there's probably. There's probably indicators, but I think then.

Eldar [00:54:27]:
All you said, you. You sold yourself out a long time ago.

Eldar [00:54:30]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:54:31]:
You like, whatever, whatever. I'll eat this shit, I'll eat this, I'll eat this. And the next thing you know, you find yourself in the bad predicament.

Phillip [00:54:37]:
And I agree, but I think what drives that, though, is how powerful sexual energy and sexual desire is, like, out of all the energies, like, my. To my understanding, that's the most powerful, like, work, this is what creates babies and creates life.

Eldar [00:54:50]:
Right.

Phillip [00:54:50]:
So, yeah, if you're allowing this thing to dictate you in unison with somebody giving you a compliment and you being like, just like a simp in that. In that regard, like, to me, that's the recipe for disaster.

Eldar [00:55:02]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:55:02]:
And that's why a lot of people end up with, you know, how many.

Phillip [00:55:05]:
People end up with babies that they don't want? How many people end up with STD's that, like, you know, they didn't. They didn't plan because they didn't have these conversations and these contracts in place. So I think what we're talking about is conversations that a lot of people probably want to have that don't feel comfortable with. At least I know, I know personally people that, that don't feel comfortable in this where I've had this conversation with friends who I'm very, very close with, but, you know, like, people probably think that we think very odd or, like, it's very, like, weird to ask for something like that when to me, it's. It's odd to not ask.

Eldar [00:55:38]:
It's common sense.

Phillip [00:55:39]:
Or it should be. It should be common sense.

Eldar [00:55:41]:
Common sense. Yes.

Phillip [00:55:42]:
To say, hey, like, wearing a condom or, you know, getting tested or something like that. Like, are you okay with this?

Eldar [00:55:48]:
100%. You want to engage in a very intimate act. You know what I'm saying? Very intimate and very. Could be life changing, right. For both people.

Eldar [00:55:59]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:55:59]:
So for you to not take this shit seriously, take your pants off. Be completely, like, to do this, like, I don't know, man.

Eldar [00:56:07]:
It's.

Eldar [00:56:07]:
It's just.

Eldar [00:56:08]:
It's.

Eldar [00:56:08]:
It's you definitely committing a crime against yourself.

Phillip [00:56:10]:
Like, that's your character. That's the person's character and your character to me, in a nutshell.

Eldar [00:56:14]:
Right?

Phillip [00:56:14]:
Like, if you're just, like, haphazard, throw yourself to the wind. Like, I've definitely been in that boat before, so, like, I've definitely been there, but I've had other people that were like that too, where, you know, I realized I didn't have the conversation. I feel this way. But if you don't say anything, that's, like. That's, like, the guy that says he has a really good heart. If I know deep down that I want this to happen, and, like, I'm a guy who's more careful, if I don't have the conversation, then I'm just. I'm just as, like, kind of worse as the. Or bad as the person who's saying that, you know, I don't care about.

Phillip [00:56:47]:
So to me, like, what type of action are you taking? And, like, how important is this kind of stuff to you? So I think in the world of relationships, when you're not looking for a relationship and you're not looking to get married, I think it's very easy to get in trouble if you don't put some kind of, like, contract in place.

Eldar [00:57:01]:
Verbal contract. 100%.

Eldar [00:57:03]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:57:03]:
I think that's what then allows you, if you're like, okay, cool. She's cool. And she's actually about it, and she's. She's okay with these common sense, you know, things, then go fuck your brains out. Enjoy yourselves.

Eldar [00:57:14]:
Right.

Eldar [00:57:15]:
You know what I mean? Enjoy yourself more and more and, like, be adults about it. Fuck's wrong with that? That conversation can only be had one time, you know, doesn't have to be constantly. You know what I mean? Like, I don't think anything's wrong with that.

Eldar [00:57:34]:
This guy. Yeah.

Mike [00:57:35]:
And I said a few weeks ago, like, Phil, so gonna fuck shit up.

Eldar [00:57:38]:
He's gonna fuck shit up good.

Eldar [00:57:40]:
He's.

Mike [00:57:41]:
He's finally, like, piecing away all those fucking things.

Phillip [00:57:44]:
Same time. It's time.

Eldar [00:57:47]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:57:48]:
He's finally gonna, like, remove himself from all those, like, prisons that he put himself in. That was stopping him from enjoying life, putting in.

Eldar [00:57:55]:
Yes.

Eldar [00:57:56]:
Enjoying life, but also lying to himself and us.

Eldar [00:57:58]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:57:58]:
Fuck sakes.

Eldar [00:57:59]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:58:00]:
And also, um.

Eldar [00:58:01]:
You know what I mean? Poor kid can fucking fall asleep, you know what I mean? Without jerking it three times, you know, sleep at night, you know? Yeah, of course. Fucking funky ass desires and shit, you know?

Eldar [00:58:12]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:58:12]:
Daydreaming over there. Fucking doing wild things, you know?

Phillip [00:58:16]:
Handwritten letters and sex.

Eldar [00:58:18]:
Yeah, yeah.

Eldar [00:58:19]:
All day.

Eldar [00:58:20]:
Yeah. Nothing else. How do we.

Eldar [00:58:22]:
Sunglasses. Wear sunglasses all day.

Phillip [00:58:25]:
Glasses.

Eldar [00:58:27]:
They're yellow.

Phillip [00:58:28]:
Well, it's the block out. This is meant for driving at night and for inside light.

Eldar [00:58:32]:
You know what he also reminds me of a little bit?

Eldar [00:58:35]:
Dre.

Eldar [00:58:37]:
Oh, yeah, yeah, the hawaiian Dre.

Eldar [00:58:39]:
He definitely has, right. Little things.

Eldar [00:58:42]:
Yeah, thanks.

Phillip [00:58:43]:
Yeah, doctor Dre.

Eldar [00:58:44]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Eldar [00:58:44]:
Like, it's, like, weird, particular quirks.

Eldar [00:58:47]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Eldar [00:58:49]:
No, you didn't. You didn't meet this one. Maybe you did.

Phillip [00:58:51]:
He's a basketball gym guy.

Eldar [00:58:53]:
No, no, it's a different guy.

Eldar [00:58:54]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:58:54]:
Mike has him coffee.

Phillip [00:58:56]:
How many times you have coffee with him?

Mike [00:58:57]:
Oh, for, like, 20 years.

Phillip [00:59:00]:
This guy's practically living.

Mike [00:59:02]:
We didn't really know him, but we know him for 20 years.

Eldar [00:59:04]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:59:05]:
You've known of him.

Mike [00:59:06]:
We know his acquaintance for 20 years.

Eldar [00:59:08]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:59:09]:
He said I give him bad advice.

Eldar [00:59:11]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:59:12]:
Told to date with intention. You know? I give him bad advice.

Eldar [00:59:16]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:59:17]:
I want to come back and fucking say that to my face, bitch.

Phillip [00:59:21]:
To me, it's not even about dating. It's about. It's just about being yourself. That's what really sold me on it, because we were just talking about, like, dating with intention. Like, I'd still have, like, oh, yeah. Possible STD, possible baby, blah, blah. Like, I don't want to think about it, but, like, to me, what's most important is just, like, want to. I want to be totally free in any situation and not care.

Phillip [00:59:41]:
Like, I've cared so much about what other people think. Like, yeah, that's. To me, what's the most important?

Eldar [00:59:45]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:59:46]:
Obviously, I'm a sexually charged guy, and I want to be physical with somebody else.

Eldar [00:59:51]:
Great.

Phillip [00:59:51]:
That I'm attracted to. I don't want all the other things to happen, but ultimately, like, it's really nice to be around people who are. I can be myself. And, like, yeah, we troll each other. We go back and forth, but ultimately, like, we're helping each other, like, unravel truths about one another and, like, get rid of those blockages that we're creating.

Eldar [01:00:09]:
So we're trying to promote our best selves.

Phillip [01:00:10]:
Yeah, exactly.

Eldar [01:00:12]:
You know what I mean?

Phillip [01:00:12]:
And most people, I would say, in most friendships, we talked about, I think the word was confrontation. Today we defined. Yeah, one. So I think totally, you were defining it. And I think, I don't know if you can read.

Eldar [01:00:23]:
Hostile, argumentative meeting.

Eldar [01:00:24]:
Right.

Phillip [01:00:25]:
A hostile, argumentative meeting. So in society, when people are bringing up confrontation, I heard totally talking about it today and you guys discussing it, it's deemed negative in society. So, like, when people are challenging you, especially when your beliefs, think about how many wars, not to get political or anything, but, like, an example. Like, think about how many wars start. And if you break down, why they start. It's people having different belief systems going after other people with different belief systems, usually religious, elemental, cultural. But we're talking about something in society of, like, somebody believing something that, like, doesn't really even truly mean anything to them, that you're not allowed to challenge them in this current society.

Eldar [01:01:08]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:01:08]:
Like, about a woman who's overweight or a man who's overweight. And, like, we're allowing them to be on covers of magazines and, like, being models. Like, you know what I mean? Like. Like, this example is like, that you can't question these.

Eldar [01:01:21]:
You can't.

Eldar [01:01:21]:
You.

Phillip [01:01:21]:
You have to accept somebody for who they are, like, blindly. And you're not allowed to say, like, why is that person a model? It's like, oh, my God. Like, you're sexist. Like, you have, like, a problem with their weight. It's like, no, I'm just. My definition of a model is a little different. Like, what, as a model now, like, somebody who can be 300 pounds. Like, if it is, like, okay.

Eldar [01:01:41]:
Yeah, yeah.

Phillip [01:01:42]:
I didn't get. I didn't get the memo, though.

Eldar [01:01:44]:
But you didn't get the memo.

Phillip [01:01:45]:
Okay. Like, okay, but I'm just saying that's the extra weight. Not in my world. Like, I'm used to somebody, but enough. So there was a comedian. He came out. I don't know. His name is Andrew Schultz.

Eldar [01:01:57]:
Do you guys know. Yes.

Phillip [01:01:59]:
So Andrew there. No.

Mike [01:02:01]:
No.

Eldar [01:02:02]:
Oh, he went with Joe.

Eldar [01:02:03]:
So.

Phillip [01:02:03]:
So Andrew Schultz was on Joe Rogan, and he said that something saw him the next day.

Eldar [01:02:09]:
Okay.

Eldar [01:02:09]:
After that show.

Eldar [01:02:10]:
Oh, okay.

Phillip [01:02:11]:
Was on the Joe Rogan. So you guys definitely saw this example of he. I might, you know, butcher it, but something along the lines of something that really bothers him is overweight models. And his analogy was him being a comedian. He says that if you're a comedian, you want attention. So what do you do? You write jokes. You go on stage and you give somebody something, and in return, you get the laughs. An actor, they don't write the screenplay, they don't direct, but they learn a couple of lines.

Phillip [01:02:43]:
They read it, and I'm simplifying it, but ultimately, they go out, they perform, and they get some sort of attention. So he's saying that if you're a model, you know, the model, like his definition, you're focusing on your diet, your nutrition, you're going to the gym, so you fit in a certain type of thing that's maybe unattainable to regular people. That's like, something that they desire. Like, oh, my God. Like, I really gravitate towards this. So then he's saying, like, just think of how arrogant an overweight model is, because she's saying, I don't have to do anything but love me. Love me. Like, I'm gonna eat, I'm gonna overeat, and then I want attention from you.

Phillip [01:03:21]:
So it's like, what? Like, why is that? I don't. I don't get that. So, like, these are examples of, like, confrontation where you're not allowed to have confrontation with that person and question them.

Eldar [01:03:31]:
What.

Eldar [01:03:31]:
What are we defining as model is?

Eldar [01:03:33]:
Yeah, yeah.

Eldar [01:03:34]:
It's like an overweight model. Like, not, not.

Eldar [01:03:37]:
You would have to. You would have to start with defining what a model is. What model should.

Phillip [01:03:41]:
So my idea of a model would be like a Runway model. Like Victoria's Secret model or like a Runway model. Let's say, like, we can both agree, like, genuinely, like, tall and skinny.

Eldar [01:03:51]:
Right?

Phillip [01:03:51]:
Like, I mean, is that pretty generally.

Eldar [01:03:52]:
Saying that a model, we're talking about strictly physique, yes.

Eldar [01:03:58]:
Physique, yes. Right.

Eldar [01:03:59]:
And physique of a model, or aspiring person to be is to be thin, right?

Eldar [01:04:04]:
Yes.

Eldar [01:04:05]:
To be. What else?

Phillip [01:04:06]:
Well, no, pretty thin.

Eldar [01:04:08]:
Pretty like that. That's like. Like, what is the purpose of models?

Eldar [01:04:13]:
What is that? What are.

Eldar [01:04:13]:
The model is an example.

Eldar [01:04:15]:
Right?

Eldar [01:04:16]:
Like, right. Okay, so now we're talking.

Eldar [01:04:19]:
Okay.

Eldar [01:04:19]:
We're talking about modeling in.

Phillip [01:04:21]:
I'm gonna think like a woman model.

Eldar [01:04:24]:
Right? I think he's right with the question.

Eldar [01:04:26]:
What is it?

Eldar [01:04:27]:
Because you could be a role model.

Phillip [01:04:29]:
No, no. A model. Like a Runway model.

Eldar [01:04:32]:
A fashion model.

Phillip [01:04:32]:
Fashion model.

Eldar [01:04:33]:
Yeah, but fashion shit, if I have a brand. Yeah, that's, I don't know, catering for plus size models.

Eldar [01:04:41]:
Cater. Yeah.

Eldar [01:04:41]:
For plus size people.

Eldar [01:04:42]:
Plus size people. Then I need plus size models. I think that's completely fine.

Eldar [01:04:46]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:04:46]:
How do you argue that, like, what would I make a brand where, like.

Eldar [01:04:50]:
So we have. Wouldn't. You wouldn't call them models then. What do you call them? They're like, I think fashion.

Phillip [01:04:54]:
I mean, they have a name. They're called plus size models.

Eldar [01:04:58]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:04:58]:
They're called plus size.

Eldar [01:04:59]:
But it's completely fine for that.

Eldar [01:05:01]:
Correct.

Eldar [01:05:01]:
Right.

Eldar [01:05:02]:
Like, yeah. You're trying to market your business towards an audience.

Eldar [01:05:05]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:05:05]:
Like, you're not gonna, like, get a skinny girl model.

Eldar [01:05:09]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:05:09]:
And any situation.

Phillip [01:05:10]:
I think. I think the point that he was making was the discrimination also, that, like, they're not allowed to get, like, they kind of being lumped in, like, the same category. That, to me, was his argument was, like, what kind of output are you getting?

Eldar [01:05:26]:
Or what.

Phillip [01:05:27]:
What kind of. So my understanding of what he was talking about was it bothers him, because from his perception, an overweight model doesn't have to do anything. They can just. They can just overeat and be whoever they are.

Eldar [01:05:44]:
Right.

Phillip [01:05:44]:
And they're getting praise where he has to do something to get that attention.

Eldar [01:05:48]:
Fine.

Phillip [01:05:49]:
So that was his argument.

Eldar [01:05:50]:
Wait a second. Wait a second.

Eldar [01:05:51]:
Right.

Eldar [01:05:52]:
Wait a second.

Phillip [01:05:52]:
That was, to me, that was the understanding.

Eldar [01:05:56]:
You want to have a good job right now. You want to get a good job.

Eldar [01:05:59]:
Right.

Eldar [01:06:00]:
Modeling for plus size magazine of men's.

Eldar [01:06:04]:
Right.

Eldar [01:06:04]:
And they require for you to be 250 pounds.

Eldar [01:06:08]:
Right.

Eldar [01:06:09]:
And you want to do this, Philip, but you're only 175 pounds.

Eldar [01:06:14]:
Right.

Eldar [01:06:14]:
You need to work and eat 75 pounds worth in order to get the job. What's wrong with that?

Mike [01:06:20]:
Nothing.

Eldar [01:06:21]:
That's also a lot of work, and it's hard work.

Eldar [01:06:25]:
Oh, it's easy to put up 75 pounds. For guys like me and you, it's hard. Yes or no?

Eldar [01:06:31]:
You would have to probably force yourself.

Eldar [01:06:33]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:06:33]:
When you're not hungry.

Eldar [01:06:34]:
Holy shit.

Eldar [01:06:35]:
Right?

Eldar [01:06:35]:
Like this again, for me and him to get for me. For me and you to gain 75 pounds, it's fucking crucial. Like, crazy work.

Eldar [01:06:42]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:06:42]:
I don't think I'd be able to gain 75 pounds.

Eldar [01:06:44]:
So that's what I'm saying. So, like, that.

Eldar [01:06:46]:
That.

Eldar [01:06:46]:
That work argument goes out the window too.

Eldar [01:06:49]:
Hmm. Right.

Eldar [01:06:51]:
In that case, if you want it to be that.

Eldar [01:06:53]:
Right.

Eldar [01:06:53]:
You're saying that. You're almost saying that. Hey, plus size models, their jobs just landing on their laps.

Eldar [01:06:58]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:07:00]:
For the skinny ones.

Eldar [01:07:01]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:07:02]:
No way.

Eldar [01:07:02]:
Right? Joe's. Joe's wife has been skinny all her life. She didn't have to do much. She was like that. There's plenty of people walking around skinny, not really being skinny for them. Is not. Now, if you told me, Eldar, the girls that are models, they used to be 160 pounds, and now they're a hundred pounds, and they put in this work, and this was required of each model in order to become a model, you ought to be 160 pounds, go down to 100, and be like. Like, showcase your whole fucking journey or whatever.

Eldar [01:07:35]:
Then I can say, okay, cool. That's a requirement. And I see how that puts in.

Eldar [01:07:38]:
A lot of work.

Eldar [01:07:39]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:07:40]:
I just. I don't. I don't see somebody, like, who's a Runway model just being.

Eldar [01:07:45]:
Just.

Phillip [01:07:46]:
Just being able to do nothing. Like, I don't think that, like, so you're saying, like, so there's some people out there, like, that that wouldn't have to focus on the nutrition gym and, like, they would just be, like, naturally fit.

Eldar [01:07:57]:
I'm saying that it goes both ways.

Eldar [01:07:59]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:07:59]:
To be honest. And go both ways.

Eldar [01:08:00]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:08:01]:
So, like, the extreme of both would be, like, there maybe is somebody who's been bigger their whole life where it could.

Eldar [01:08:06]:
Right.

Eldar [01:08:06]:
There's actors that had to gain weight.

Eldar [01:08:08]:
Right.

Eldar [01:08:09]:
What's that guy, Georgia? The jungle guy.

Eldar [01:08:10]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:08:11]:
Brandon Fraser.

Eldar [01:08:12]:
Brandon Frazier.

Phillip [01:08:13]:
I heard Christian Bale, too.

Eldar [01:08:15]:
Christian Bale gained a lot of weight for roles. For a specific role.

Eldar [01:08:20]:
Right.

Phillip [01:08:20]:
Robert De Niro did this, and Raging Bull did this for.

Eldar [01:08:23]:
It's not like, you know, it's.

Eldar [01:08:25]:
It's.

Eldar [01:08:25]:
It's work.

Phillip [01:08:26]:
No, I understand. I understand.

Eldar [01:08:27]:
I guess it just wouldn't be fair if you don't look on both sides of the argument.

Phillip [01:08:31]:
Yeah, I understand that. I would say, I guess it's easier to look at somebody who's overweight as doing nothing versus it being an opportunity, because I think. I think nowadays that type of thing is like a newer opportunity. Like, I don't think overweight people. Like, plus, there was plus size models back in the eighties or nineties. Like, I wasn't aware of it.

Eldar [01:08:51]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:08:52]:
Like, yeah. Back in the day, I mean, plus size people were associated with healthy people.

Eldar [01:08:58]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:08:58]:
Why? Because back then, the mercy of food.

Phillip [01:09:01]:
It meant being rich.

Eldar [01:09:02]:
Yeah, exactly. Prestige. But they, like, you're not hungry.

Phillip [01:09:05]:
But they weren't known as being mild models, though. They were known as, like, being somebody that. That had wealth or money.

Eldar [01:09:11]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:09:11]:
But anybody who has health and wealth and money usually are looked up to. So there was a role model. There was a pursuit of role models to the society.

Eldar [01:09:17]:
Under the definition of model is what.

Eldar [01:09:19]:
What? Yeah.

Eldar [01:09:20]:
You have to go back to definition of model.

Eldar [01:09:22]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:09:22]:
So I get Runway model to what?

Eldar [01:09:24]:
To.

Eldar [01:09:24]:
To market Runway products that are potentially meant for particular types of bodies.

Eldar [01:09:29]:
Yeah, yeah.

Eldar [01:09:30]:
And like you specifically having a preference for thinner girls is your preference. There's plenty of guys, black guys, like more of a bigger woman, right. That's like a known thing.

Eldar [01:09:42]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:09:43]:
You know, bigger ass, bigger tits, bigger everything.

Eldar [01:09:46]:
Right.

Eldar [01:09:46]:
You like a more petite maybe. Maybe I don't.

Eldar [01:09:48]:
Right? Yeah.

Eldar [01:09:49]:
So then you, you, you know, you kind of maybe a biased a little bit when it comes to models and how they should look because you actually have a preference for them to have slim bodies.

Eldar [01:10:00]:
Right.

Eldar [01:10:00]:
Mike has that preference too.

Eldar [01:10:02]:
Right?

Eldar [01:10:02]:
Might you like them slim and stuff? I like him on the thicker side. I like fat ass, you know, but.

Eldar [01:10:07]:
Like in general, I had another one.

Eldar [01:10:10]:
And there was nothing to grab. There was nothing to fucking enjoy, you know what I'm saying?

Eldar [01:10:14]:
In general though, the more the word model in general, it's. Again, I think it's just like, like a misperceived.

Eldar [01:10:21]:
It is. I think.

Eldar [01:10:22]:
I think so.

Eldar [01:10:23]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like when they're, I don't know, like, like showing gear for gamers and I'm gonna put some like jacked. Jack Jack, right?

Eldar [01:10:35]:
Yeah, yeah.

Eldar [01:10:35]:
They're gonna show a sloppy guy with bad hair.

Eldar [01:10:37]:
Yeah, yeah.

Eldar [01:10:38]:
Like just killing it in the thing.

Eldar [01:10:40]:
Right.

Eldar [01:10:41]:
Cuz that's like, that's their audience.

Eldar [01:10:42]:
That's their model.

Eldar [01:10:43]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:10:43]:
So a model is who's ever appropriate to that particular industry or audience or genre.

Eldar [01:10:50]:
And I think that's enough. And that, who dictates that, that businessmen that are smart.

Eldar [01:10:55]:
So it's.

Eldar [01:10:55]:
I'm not gonna, like you said, I'm not gonna put a fucking a jock.

Phillip [01:10:58]:
So we're talking about marketing essentially.

Eldar [01:11:00]:
So I guess so what's a better.

Phillip [01:11:01]:
Example of something that's like pc where you can't. Because we're going back. I think the point I was trying to make was like confrontation. That that example came up. So obviously you guys like put a hole in that one. So that that wasn't, that wasn't the best example.

Eldar [01:11:12]:
No, we understand what you're trying to.

Phillip [01:11:13]:
Get to, but, but going back to confrontation. So what would you think would be a better example of like somebody that you're not allowed to question, like in modern day society, like the trans community, something like that. Or like, you know, somebody who has a certain belief system that's very, very sensitive, that society is basically saying, hey, it's off limits. Like mental health type stuff. Like anything like that. I feel like nowadays is like very, very, you know, like buttoned up in terms of conversations you're allowed to have in everyday society, at work or anywhere.

Eldar [01:11:45]:
Well, your example, I think your example was a good example when it comes to you, you, you know, being nice or, like, giving a compliment to a girl.

Phillip [01:11:54]:
Oh, yeah.

Eldar [01:11:54]:
Okay.

Eldar [01:11:55]:
That's one with a very, like, your intentions.

Eldar [01:11:57]:
Right.

Eldar [01:11:58]:
Are there to be nice.

Eldar [01:12:00]:
Right.

Eldar [01:12:00]:
There was nothing behind. There's no malicious anything.

Phillip [01:12:02]:
Right.

Eldar [01:12:04]:
But because society or people have an inability to judge by reading real intentions.

Eldar [01:12:10]:
Right.

Eldar [01:12:12]:
They kind of blanket, everybody's a creep.

Eldar [01:12:14]:
Sure.

Eldar [01:12:14]:
In your case, you were like, you know, they judged you and said, yo, you being a creep.

Phillip [01:12:17]:
But that person is being validated because society is giving that person a voice.

Eldar [01:12:22]:
Correct.

Phillip [01:12:23]:
In a situation that is a very low level situation that should not be brought up as, like, this big thing. We're talking about compliments being perceived as, like, general threats. Like, we're allowing that person to run amok with that type of mindset in a corporate environment.

Eldar [01:12:40]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:12:40]:
So I think that that example is kind of what I was trying to get.

Eldar [01:12:44]:
Well, I think. I think that. I guess maybe. Maybe they umbrella it under, like, sexual harassment.

Eldar [01:12:49]:
Sure. Right.

Eldar [01:12:50]:
I don't think there's anything wrong with making a compliment. Somebody smells good. You smell good. Like, I like what you're wearing. I like your shoes and, you know, it's crazy shirt.

Phillip [01:12:58]:
I've had. I've had men and women come up to me, like, like, pretty consistently. And. And ever since I started, like, wearing, like, don't advertise. I'm not the type of fragrance.

Eldar [01:13:09]:
You want to fucking know what the fuck this guy's wearing. Give me a fucking phone.

Phillip [01:13:12]:
Yeah, but, yeah, the type of fragrance that I wearing. Like, I do get compliments and I actually like when somebody asks me because I'm like, I like this stuff. So I like, if somebody says it to me again, it's nice.

Eldar [01:13:22]:
Your preference. You're the judge.

Eldar [01:13:24]:
Right?

Eldar [01:13:24]:
You like thin models and you like when you're being complimented.

Eldar [01:13:27]:
Right.

Phillip [01:13:27]:
So this is all stuff that I have to look at.

Eldar [01:13:29]:
However, I would.

Phillip [01:13:31]:
A bias.

Eldar [01:13:32]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:13:33]:
To myself, it's a little bit of.

Eldar [01:13:34]:
A bias particular to you because.

Eldar [01:13:36]:
Right. Don't know.

Eldar [01:13:37]:
They probably linked compliments to the beginning of being very creepy with somebody or.

Eldar [01:13:42]:
It'S like being, like, sexualized or something.

Eldar [01:13:44]:
Sexualized, yeah, or like.

Eldar [01:13:46]:
Yeah, exactly.

Eldar [01:13:47]:
Sexualized boobs, you know, which is, again, at the end of the day, I think it's a blanket. And they needed to do a blanket because plenty of times that they were, like, they were saying, like, people were coming with complaints. Like, Joey sexually harassing me. And they were like, all right, so tell me what happened. Oh, he said this. Oh, this is not even harmful. Like, what are you talking about?

Phillip [01:14:07]:
And then it goes on to turn into something.

Eldar [01:14:08]:
Correct.

Eldar [01:14:09]:
It could potentially go into something. You misperceived. It misunderstood, it. It escalated. Or it could have been nothing. And people were probably like, I just want to deal with it.

Eldar [01:14:18]:
Right.

Eldar [01:14:18]:
I mean, let's just blanket it with everything. Like, that's not allowed. We're not. Not gonna sit here and judge what's fucking creepy, what's not every single time. So let's just put everybody under the same umbrella.

Eldar [01:14:27]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:14:27]:
It's like insurance policy, right?

Eldar [01:14:29]:
Yes.

Eldar [01:14:29]:
Oh, uh, you can't. You can't roll blade here.

Eldar [01:14:32]:
Why?

Eldar [01:14:32]:
Because if you fall, you're gonna break your head and I might fall. You're gonna soon.

Eldar [01:14:36]:
So the.

Phillip [01:14:36]:
In the. What we're talking about is, like, the. The amount of rules that are put into modern day society now. There's a lot more than what they're used.

Eldar [01:14:46]:
They have to, like, I mean, like, that. Not have to, I guess, but, like, they're trying to account for as large of a group of audience as possible to prevent any kind of uncomper. Yeah, that's a work thing. Is that, like, you don't want people feeling uncomfortable.

Eldar [01:15:02]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:15:03]:
And the different levels as to what's okay. What's not okay for different people can be.

Eldar [01:15:08]:
I mean, but ultimately, what's happening that, with that attempt.

Eldar [01:15:11]:
Right.

Eldar [01:15:11]:
It's the maximize profits.

Eldar [01:15:12]:
Shut. Shut.

Eldar [01:15:13]:
Shut the employees up. No fucking talk amongst.

Phillip [01:15:16]:
Limit. Limit liability.

Eldar [01:15:17]:
Limit liability as much as possible. And be a fucking robot.

Eldar [01:15:21]:
Yeah, it's limiting liability control work.

Eldar [01:15:24]:
Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

Eldar [01:15:26]:
Yeah, it's definitely limiting liability. And being more like a robot, 100% for sure.

Eldar [01:15:33]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:15:33]:
Like, be quiet. Don't say this. Don't say that. Oh, I'm not sure what to say. I'm not sure what.

Eldar [01:15:37]:
How to act.

Eldar [01:15:37]:
All this other stuff that sure what to wear. You know what I mean? Here's a uniform. Fucking be a robot and shut your mouth and be productive.

Eldar [01:15:43]:
Right.

Phillip [01:15:44]:
That's most. That's most corporate jobs.

Eldar [01:15:46]:
There you go.

Eldar [01:15:47]:
I mean, but that's why they're. They're profitable.

Eldar [01:15:49]:
Right? Right.

Eldar [01:15:50]:
That's why the fucking CEO's and whoever makes fucking $20 million a year while the fucking.

Eldar [01:15:55]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:15:55]:
Like, why can you. Why can you go to a, like, a club and not sue the owner for sexual harassment like someone's hitting on you?

Eldar [01:16:03]:
Yeah, that's.

Eldar [01:16:04]:
That's a good question. Yeah, that's a true. That's a good question.

Phillip [01:16:08]:
You can probably sue the place. I wouldn't doubt it.

Eldar [01:16:10]:
Say that these people are fucking rubbing their dicks against me.

Phillip [01:16:14]:
You don't think that there's ever been lawsuits from, from nightclubs?

Eldar [01:16:17]:
I mean, I'm not sure how many won. Because if many won, I'm pretty sure a lot of people would be doing them.

Eldar [01:16:21]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:16:21]:
Like, you know, you let this guy in, yo. He's rubbing his dick against me. Wait a sec. We all on drugs?

Eldar [01:16:26]:
You know.

Eldar [01:16:26]:
You know, you don't like my dick is hard.

Eldar [01:16:29]:
So, you know what I mean?

Phillip [01:16:30]:
Like, the argument is strip club. I would understand that.

Eldar [01:16:32]:
No, no, your club.

Eldar [01:16:33]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:16:34]:
Like, you talk about any, like, nightclub, right?

Eldar [01:16:39]:
It's almost like when you're going there, you're signing a particular contract.

Eldar [01:16:42]:
Yes.

Eldar [01:16:42]:
Right?

Eldar [01:16:42]:
Like, like you're okay.

Eldar [01:16:43]:
Some guy is gonna probably grab your hand, rub his dick against your ass and. You know what I mean? Make a funny shit, crazy remark about your tits or something. You know what I mean? It's like a given.

Eldar [01:16:53]:
Mmm. But like. Yeah, he's right.

Eldar [01:16:55]:
Like, how come you don't fucking sue the owner of the club?

Phillip [01:16:59]:
I'm saying I'd be surprised if there's not a lot of lawsuits in that. In that world, though, huh? I'm not saying if they won or not. I'm. I said I would be surprised if there wasn't a lot of lawsuits in that world.

Eldar [01:17:08]:
I would be surprised if there are.

Eldar [01:17:10]:
Then the.

Eldar [01:17:10]:
All these places I'll be open.

Eldar [01:17:12]:
No. No. At all.

Phillip [01:17:12]:
Having a lawsuit, winning or losing, is two very different things.

Eldar [01:17:16]:
I'm saying.

Eldar [01:17:16]:
They both still cost money.

Eldar [01:17:18]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Eldar [01:17:19]:
Parties.

Phillip [01:17:19]:
But I'm saying, I bet you there are a lot of people that came out and said it, and they probably just squashed it and they just turn into nothing. That's might probably why you don't hear about it. A lot of them probably settle. I can't imagine. Like, like nightclubs not having.

Eldar [01:17:31]:
Why did you let him in?

Phillip [01:17:32]:
Yeah, like, not having. I think they would have access to crazy good lawyers. Like, top. Top lawyers. Like, I think. I think they would.

Eldar [01:17:39]:
Crazy top money even if they're winning.

Eldar [01:17:42]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:17:42]:
I'd be surprised if there wasn't. But I mean, I don't know.

Eldar [01:17:45]:
But you're not, like, you can't sue for, like.

Eldar [01:17:48]:
No, it's a. Tony's right. I think it's a mental contract. You sign off, like, weird shit's gonna happen.

Eldar [01:17:54]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:17:55]:
You know what I mean?

Eldar [01:17:55]:
But then another rule in your head or just like, how it is when you go to work.

Eldar [01:18:00]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:18:00]:
This is definitely off limits.

Eldar [01:18:01]:
That's right.

Eldar [01:18:02]:
None of this is allowed.

Eldar [01:18:03]:
None of this is allowed.

Eldar [01:18:04]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:18:04]:
You are just, like, 06:00 hits, and you go out to the bar. It's completely fine.

Eldar [01:18:09]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:18:10]:
Why curse run amok.

Eldar [01:18:12]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:18:13]:
It's almost like what's. What's. What's been deemed as socially acceptable. Acceptable or not. And where are humans allowed to be humans and where are they not?

Phillip [01:18:22]:
I remember we used to go work. We used to walk across the street, and it was totally different because you're literally walking across to another building.

Eldar [01:18:30]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:18:30]:
And just, like, the conversations are different. Like, right here.

Eldar [01:18:35]:
Yeah, yeah.

Eldar [01:18:35]:
We're gonna act this way. A hundred feet across the street.

Eldar [01:18:38]:
That's it.

Eldar [01:18:38]:
We could put ties in our head.

Eldar [01:18:40]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:18:40]:
And imagine how detrimental that. To your mental health.

Eldar [01:18:42]:
That's.

Phillip [01:18:42]:
That's an odd dynamic. Like, you're not. You're basically saying that I choose to not be myself in the day to day, which is the majority of how you see me.

Eldar [01:18:52]:
And that's what you're doing.

Eldar [01:18:53]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:18:54]:
Majority of jobs. You are. You are.

Eldar [01:18:56]:
You.

Eldar [01:18:56]:
You're basically like a. Like a. Like a prostitute to survive.

Eldar [01:19:00]:
Right.

Eldar [01:19:01]:
You're willing to. To, like, put yourself up. Right?

Eldar [01:19:05]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:19:06]:
For sale.

Eldar [01:19:06]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:19:07]:
To act certain ways and do certain things in exchange for something that, like, you think that you need or want.

Phillip [01:19:13]:
So, yeah. If you're at that job, you should not be judging, like, any person who's on onlyfans or any type of escort or hooker, because you're essentially doing the same thing to yourself. You're selling your. Your body and your mind for. For an actual exchange to act a certain way.

Eldar [01:19:28]:
To act a certain way.

Eldar [01:19:29]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:19:30]:
And there. There's definitely, like, extremes of it. And then, like, I think probably over the last, like, probably, like, ten or 15 years, when a lot of these, like, tech companies became bigger.

Eldar [01:19:42]:
Right.

Eldar [01:19:42]:
And they're like, oh, we could wear polos on Fridays. You know that. That was, like, the beginning of it, right? Like, casual Fridays, you could just, you know, where you wear button ups every day, but then, like, you know, Fridays, you could wear, like, a polo and jeans or something like that. Or something more casual.

Eldar [01:19:57]:
Right.

Eldar [01:19:58]:
Started there, then it transpired, transparent. Like, yo, this her beard downstairs. You know, how cool is this? But, like. Yeah, they're like. What they're just basically doing is trying to add more human elements.

Eldar [01:20:07]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:20:07]:
So just very basic things.

Eldar [01:20:09]:
Yeah. Yeah. Right.

Eldar [01:20:09]:
Or, like.

Eldar [01:20:10]:
That's a good point.

Eldar [01:20:10]:
They have tea downstairs.

Eldar [01:20:12]:
Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

Eldar [01:20:13]:
It's almost like, they're unlocking the actors that they created.

Eldar [01:20:16]:
Yeah, yeah.

Eldar [01:20:16]:
Or like.

Eldar [01:20:16]:
Yeah, yeah.

Eldar [01:20:18]:
Like, wet. When I was like, whoa, what a great company.

Eldar [01:20:21]:
Work. Yeah, yeah.

Eldar [01:20:22]:
When I was, like, the. The Google, like, headquarters. Like, in the hallways, they just have fridges.

Eldar [01:20:29]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:20:29]:
Where people can grab, like, I don't know, just different drinks or coffees and, like, there's just, like, protein bars and snack bars. I was like. And, like, people are walking by, like, snack bars and drinks. Like, okay.

Eldar [01:20:42]:
You know?

Eldar [01:20:43]:
Like.

Eldar [01:20:43]:
Yeah, that's like.

Eldar [01:20:44]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:20:45]:
To a lot of people, that's just, like, a mind boggling thing that, like, you have to put money in this vending machine. Like, this is just supply. You don't have to, like.

Eldar [01:20:51]:
Yeah, yeah.

Eldar [01:20:54]:
Like, again, it's. It's almost like those human concepts that got slowly reintroduced into certain workspaces.

Eldar [01:20:59]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:21:00]:
They were valued crazy. And people went nuts over them, and they wanted to work in those sectors.

Eldar [01:21:04]:
Yeah. Right.

Eldar [01:21:05]:
Because, like, yeah, they were just basically basic.

Eldar [01:21:10]:
Basic needs.

Eldar [01:21:10]:
Basic needs.

Phillip [01:21:11]:
I think that, like, talking about Google, like, I watched. That was the movie, like, the internship with Vince Vaughn. Like, they went to the Google headquarters and they showed, like, examples of what totally talking about.

Eldar [01:21:20]:
But I think, by the way, you're very similar to Vince Vaughn in that movie.

Phillip [01:21:24]:
I can see some of that. So they really did.

Eldar [01:21:27]:
But I don't remember any.

Phillip [01:21:28]:
It's really good. But they're actually on the Google campus, and they're. They're basically trying to get an internship.

Eldar [01:21:33]:
It's called Vince Vaughn in that movie. If you watch it, is Philip to a t. Really? They're. Yeah, they're there. They went and they got this there. They're too, like, older.

Eldar [01:21:44]:
It's.

Eldar [01:21:44]:
It's. Oh, and like a what?

Eldar [01:21:46]:
They're like, what?

Phillip [01:21:46]:
Yeah, like, watch salesman's.

Eldar [01:21:48]:
You know, Owen Wilson, the blonde?

Eldar [01:21:50]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:21:51]:
Vince Vaughn.

Eldar [01:21:52]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:21:52]:
They're like. I don't know what they sell, but they're like. Like watches. Yeah, like older watch salesman or something. Like your typical, like, older guy.

Eldar [01:22:00]:
Right?

Eldar [01:22:00]:
Like, you know, who can talk and stuff like that.

Eldar [01:22:03]:
Right? Yeah.

Eldar [01:22:03]:
No technology. Like, zero technology.

Eldar [01:22:05]:
They don't.

Eldar [01:22:06]:
Nothing about computers. I don't remember how, but they ended up getting into this.

Phillip [01:22:10]:
The guy soldier ship.

Eldar [01:22:11]:
The guy sold with all these, like, 18 of year olds.

Eldar [01:22:14]:
Right. Them. Yeah.

Eldar [01:22:15]:
Who are all, like, tech nerds.

Eldar [01:22:16]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:22:17]:
And they're just two old geezers that, like, don't know shit about technology in the most magical thing. And, like, they'll get instructions, like, oh, like, this is in the cloud. And, like, the guy calls, like, support he's like, so where's this cloud? Can you show me?

Eldar [01:22:28]:
Like, yeah, what room is it in?

Eldar [01:22:30]:
You know, like, where can I find it?

Eldar [01:22:32]:
You know?

Eldar [01:22:32]:
So, like, they're completely, like, technology noobs.

Phillip [01:22:34]:
Yeah, but, but I think what's cool, what the thought that I came, that I, that I had.

Eldar [01:22:40]:
Philip is only thirties, late thirties, just FYI, actually.

Phillip [01:22:47]:
So, so when I watch that or when we're talking about it now, I'm realizing a lot of the genius behind Google was, you know, they're creating this product, obviously, the search engine. They have, like, a huge market share of just, like, search engine. But, like, you guys are talking and it makes sense is they just did something so simple where they, they were trying to attract talent from, like, all the other companies from, like, Facebook or Apple, whoever, and all these tech companies, like Amazon and all that. All they had to do was just, like, humanize the business process. Like, they're only telling you, hey, listen, like, all the things that you get at home, we're gonna give you a fridge. Like, we're gonna give you bicycles on campus.

Eldar [01:23:24]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:23:25]:
And, like, we're gonna allow you to maybe take a nap at work. Like, basic, basic shit, which may be pretty cool. And then you can wear t shirts and stuff.

Eldar [01:23:32]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:23:32]:
Like, you can wear, they did it.

Mike [01:23:35]:
But get to work in a better.

Eldar [01:23:39]:
Or the cookie.

Phillip [01:23:39]:
But just think, but just think of. Think of how easily impressed somebody is in a work environment versus the standard that you have living in your regular day to day life with your kids, your family, your friends. Like, think about how suppressed the people have been and how easy it is to get them to go. Like, people are moving all across the country to go work at Google.

Eldar [01:23:59]:
This is a phenomena that happened in our lifetime.

Phillip [01:24:01]:
Yeah, from the eighties, nineties, like the Wall Street Michaels era.

Eldar [01:24:06]:
We fucking witnessed it.

Phillip [01:24:07]:
Yeah, yeah, it definitely happens in our lifetime.

Eldar [01:24:09]:
So when we, like, this phenomena just happened.

Phillip [01:24:12]:
But I'm saying where it all started from, like, when you look back at business and like, how business was, like, when you watch a movie like Wall street, like in 86 or 87, like Michael Douglas, how, like, Wall street was back in the eighties, like, that was like, cutthroat businessman. You wear a suit, like, you go to the job and, like, you're looking a certain, like, dress to impress. Like all that stuff, right? Like, Mike, like we were talking about, like, how you were conditioned, right? Like, stuff like that. Same thing with me. Look matter, stuff like that. And then all of a sudden, you fast forward like 20 years later, and then you see these tech companies saying, hey, you don't have to dress a certain way. We're going to allow you to be more yourself, and we're actually going to give you food. When you come on campus, you can ride a bike, take a nap, and, like, we just want you to be comfortable, but, like, we want you to be, you know, super productive.

Eldar [01:24:55]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:24:55]:
Like, just think of, like, that little change that's, like, makes a big difference. Got people to really be raving fans.

Eldar [01:25:01]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:25:02]:
About a certain company, so, yeah. To me, like, that's. That's pretty wild to think about in our lifetime.

Eldar [01:25:07]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:25:08]:
20 years, 2030 years.

Eldar [01:25:10]:
Imagine when they start offering elders, I'm at work. What's gonna happen then?

Phillip [01:25:15]:
This. This is like, 20 more years.

Eldar [01:25:17]:
Oh, yeah, adding. Yeah, adding up.

Phillip [01:25:22]:
You're probably right. Adding a podcast component, going for walks, like, during work, like, spending time with your coworkers that, like, you genuinely like.

Eldar [01:25:29]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:25:30]:
That I don't think I've ever seen in my life.

Eldar [01:25:32]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:25:33]:
Well, you're welcome.

Eldar [01:25:34]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:25:38]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, cool. Well, final thoughts then, on this. Philip, you had. You had a pretty serious thing.

Eldar [01:25:47]:
I can't.

Eldar [01:25:47]:
I can't wait where this is gonna go, man. You better share it. You better share it with the public. Where is this gonna go next time she messages you, man?

Phillip [01:25:54]:
Yeah, I would say. I told. I told Michael. I'm not just gonna, like, do. Just to, like, do it. I want to be in the moment.

Eldar [01:26:00]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:26:00]:
And do it. Whether it comes this weekend, next weekend.

Eldar [01:26:03]:
Don't force it. Obviously.

Phillip [01:26:04]:
Exactly. So to be true to yourself and to be true to the moment, when it does come up, it's when it does happen and you do get that urge, it's to just be honest about it and say, hey, I want to just be physical and have this type of relationship. Are you open to that? And these things are important to me.

Eldar [01:26:24]:
If you are, come over, I'll fuck your brains out.

Eldar [01:26:26]:
There you go. Yeah.

Phillip [01:26:30]:
Stop being pc.

Eldar [01:26:31]:
Yes. Yeah.

Eldar [01:26:34]:
Yeah, for sure.

Eldar [01:26:35]:
Cool. Good.

Eldar [01:26:37]:
That's gonna be very interesting.

Eldar [01:26:39]:
Oh, sure.

Eldar [01:26:39]:
Can you do it or no, right now?

Phillip [01:26:42]:
No, you said they can't do the text message. That's a text message. Wait, what part can I do?

Eldar [01:26:49]:
Just a little text message. Huh?

Phillip [01:26:52]:
Wait, what part do you think's difficult for me?

Eldar [01:26:53]:
I think the whole. The whole, like, I mean, it's a fundamental.

Eldar [01:26:57]:
I think, like, I think.

Mike [01:26:58]:
I think it'll be easy.

Phillip [01:27:00]:
That's what I think.

Eldar [01:27:01]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:27:01]:
That's what he ultimately wants.

Eldar [01:27:02]:
He's been.

Eldar [01:27:04]:
Was it easy for you?

Mike [01:27:06]:
I think I don't remember.

Eldar [01:27:08]:
It was easy to.

Eldar [01:27:09]:
Right.

Eldar [01:27:09]:
You jump right into it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've been walking around a city with a half chub.

Eldar [01:27:17]:
Yeah. You know what I mean?

Eldar [01:27:19]:
Like, going absolutely nowhere with it.

Eldar [01:27:23]:
Exactly. Yeah.

Phillip [01:27:24]:
Spent fucking my monthly. My monthly food budget on duct tape.

Eldar [01:27:38]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Eldar [01:27:39]:
I hope.

Eldar [01:27:39]:
I hope. Yeah. I hope.

Eldar [01:27:41]:
I hope you can discover that side of yourself where you can bridge, finally the gap between what you actually want and what you actually get without having to be around the bush with it. You know what I mean? Without having to put up an act, you know, hide behind some fucking nice words and shit. You know what I mean? And all this other nonsense, you know, if it's not with her, it could be with somebody else for sure.

Eldar [01:28:01]:
I can.

Eldar [01:28:01]:
I can guarantee you that.

Eldar [01:28:02]:
Mm hmm.

Eldar [01:28:06]:
Dangerous, bro. No more sweet nothing.

Mike [01:28:14]:
Now that.

Eldar [01:28:15]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:28:15]:
You know, hopefully gonna be free.

Eldar [01:28:17]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:28:19]:
Walk around with, like, a. Appointment pad.

Eldar [01:28:21]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:28:21]:
Penciling you in for Sunday too.

Eldar [01:28:24]:
Yes.

Eldar [01:28:24]:
You come over at five.

Eldar [01:28:25]:
Yes.

Eldar [01:28:26]:
Monday, 01:00 p.m. You can email me your. What's his name? STD test.

Eldar [01:28:30]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:28:30]:
Make sure it's current, like the COVID test.

Eldar [01:28:32]:
Yes. Three.

Eldar [01:28:33]:
Three days.

Eldar [01:28:33]:
Three days or no flies on your DNA history.

Eldar [01:28:36]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:28:37]:
Yes, for sure.

Eldar [01:28:40]:
I like it. For sure. All right, good shit, guys.