58. From Materialism to Meaning: Tommy’s Fight for Authenticity

Mike [00:00:00]:
On this week's episode, like, you have.

Katherine [00:00:01]:
To pause and actually think, like, is this in line? Is this aligned with the person I want to be? And if it requires something that's cheating, stealing, or whatever, then probably not, you know, because that's not what you want to put out there for yourself.

Mike [00:00:14]:
So maybe I won't make, you know, ten, 2100 million a year, and I'll make, I don't know, 100,000 a year, but at least I'll have the freedom and the time to focus on the important stuff.

Eldar [00:00:25]:
It's a very good point. And then, um. Not what you. You said what I'm about to say.

Mike [00:00:32]:
Now you need another watch because that one watch, it only lasted for a week or two.

Eldar [00:00:35]:
Correct.

Mike [00:00:36]:
Now you need another watch. Now you need another car. You're not going to be a guy who runs around running amok, doing stupid shit, borrowing money, spending money like crazy, buying shit you can't afford, being in crazy debt, and then go fucking plant flowers in the forest. So you can't be a criminal in one thing. And then all of a sudden be the best friend, best son, best boyfriend or best husband. You cannot.

Eldar [00:01:14]:
And now we segment to my favorite topic. Mike. Your favorite topic. You have to fucking pose a question.

Mike [00:01:21]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:01:21]:
You keep talking shit about consistency of character.

Mike [00:01:24]:
I do.

Eldar [00:01:25]:
You keep, like, bringing it up. What's up? What's up? What are you suffering from? Why are you suffering from it? What is the question around it? Let's try to tackle it. Keeping that same energy. Right. For those individuals who don't understand what we're saying, it's. It's the shit that's mentioned. Keeping the same energy. Keep that same energy on the Internet.

Mike [00:01:40]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:01:40]:
What's up?

Mike [00:01:42]:
Well, yeah, the question is.

Eldar [00:01:45]:
Oh, first of all, thank you for being patient while Tom was fucking rambling a whole bunch of everything that was actually very good. It was.

Tommy [00:01:56]:
A lie.

Mike [00:01:59]:
On topic. Yeah.

Eldar [00:02:01]:
They say. You know what they say?

Tommy [00:02:02]:
What?

Eldar [00:02:02]:
Eat good breakfast. Full breakfast.

Tommy [00:02:06]:
Yes.

Eldar [00:02:07]:
Okay.

Katherine [00:02:07]:
And then don't eat anything.

Mike [00:02:08]:
No, no.

Eldar [00:02:10]:
Eat a full breakfast to yourself? Yes. To yourself.

Tommy [00:02:12]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:02:13]:
Eat half the lunch.

Mike [00:02:15]:
Give to your friend.

Eldar [00:02:17]:
Half of lunch to your friend.

Tommy [00:02:19]:
Oh, okay.

Eldar [00:02:19]:
Okay. And give away your dinner to the enemy. All right, so I have.

Mike [00:02:24]:
It's a proverb.

Eldar [00:02:25]:
It's a proverb.

Mike [00:02:26]:
Yeah, yeah.

Eldar [00:02:26]:
Don't eat dinner.

Tommy [00:02:27]:
So we're gonna be sending chicken wings to Kanye tonight?

Eldar [00:02:31]:
No, we're not around, dude, he's not already? He's our son, bro.

Tommy [00:02:37]:
You know, I think you would come out.

Eldar [00:02:39]:
You ain't got the answer this way. No, we have the fucking answers. Kanye, get your ass over here. Tom hit his publicist up. I find out what the fears. I heard that he's selling easys for $20. Maybe his interview will be 500. We got 500 on kind of come over here.

Eldar [00:02:54]:
Took a shit with us. Calm this motherfucker down. I might go ahead. Yeah, that was my ramble. Don't kind of. We can ramble, too, bro.

Mike [00:03:02]:
So this week's topic.

Tommy [00:03:03]:
Mm hmm.

Mike [00:03:04]:
Is consistency of character.

Tommy [00:03:07]:
Okay.

Mike [00:03:07]:
What is it? Why is it important? How do we feel when we don't have inconsistent character? And why do we feel that? You know, give your example, Mike. So my example is, yeah, I have many, but I don't know which ones to use.

Eldar [00:03:24]:
But, you know, just go on the rant because it'll help us.

Katherine [00:03:27]:
Example after example.

Eldar [00:03:32]:
And then it'll help people, because I think that, like, when you give those types of examples, you don't understand how they're invaluable, bro, because people have their own examples internally. They don't. They don't want to say them out loud. Yeah, but you have the courage right now to say them out loud.

Katherine [00:03:43]:
You make it real.

Eldar [00:03:44]:
Yeah, you make it real. Yeah, exactly.

Mike [00:03:46]:
Yeah. So.

Eldar [00:03:51]:
Calm the fuck down, Tom.

Mike [00:03:53]:
It's kind of like you, I guess. You know, to give my example, I have to give a little bit history, and people who've been listening to podcasts, they would know where I came from and where I'm trying to go is, like, where I'm trying to work on. So my previous character was, I was dishonest, I was lying, I was cheating, I was stealing, you know, I was not doing right, you know, by myself, by my friends, by my business associates, by people that I work with. So I was just doing a lot of wrong, you know? And over the, you know, past year, I've been trying to become a better person and establish a new character of who I am, you know, and who I want to be, you know, and that period, you know, that time that takes time. It's a, you know, relearning things, you know, understanding the value of other things, and, you know, it's a slow and steady process.

Tommy [00:04:43]:
Okay.

Mike [00:04:44]:
The way I think of it, at least, you know, and recently, I've been dealing with this thing. I've been thinking about it a lot. How do you develop a consistent character? Because as I'm going through this process of, you know, re kind of changing myself, hopefully for the better, I still have remnants of the person that I was before of my you know, in a way, quote unquote previous life, the way I used to do things, things that I thought were okay, you know? And one thing that's been bothering me a lot is that although I'm trying to make a change and I'm, you know, and to be a better person, to live by different, you know, values and, you know, I still sometimes have thoughts of that previous life that lead me, you know, sometimes my mind starts to, you know, go off and come up with ideas that I don't really believe in as the person that I am now and trying to be. So I get myself into sticky situations, you know, definitely sticky thoughts where I'm like, yo, like, why is this coming to me? I don't want to have anything to do with this. But my mind has been trained for many, many years to be the way I was for most of my life, 37 years now. But I. Most of my life, I've been a certain way. I was okay with doing certain things, violating certain things.

Mike [00:06:13]:
And now I'm having a struggle of those things coming in because I know how to do things, like, in a crooked way, you know, a shady way.

Tommy [00:06:22]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:06:23]:
But it's like, that's not what I'm trying to be, but in a way, like, that's an opportunity. I can be like, yo, like, this is difficult. I guess. Maybe I don't feel like, hey, it does feel difficult, but it's like, hey, I can just solve this problem the shady way instead of doing it the honest way, you know? So that's. That's kind of what the consistent character.

Tommy [00:06:44]:
Well, let's talk about character from care. What character is, right?

Eldar [00:06:48]:
Sure.

Tommy [00:06:49]:
What is a character, you know, as a person? How is my character, like, judge is a sort of, like, moral character.

Mike [00:06:57]:
Yeah. For me, I think it's a moral character, you know, like, I want my character to be based in Ondez, you know, certain truths, certain values, certain morals, you know, because I've lived on the other side, and I wasn't happy with my life. And now that I'm, you know, trying to live on the right side, trying to line up with truth and. And being a good person, you know, my character.

Tommy [00:07:21]:
I remember what I said about how I felt like I was ten more years ago.

Mike [00:07:30]:
Yeah.

Tommy [00:07:31]:
When I look back on that, I think, like, what are even the words to characterize that character in a. See so little in it.

Eldar [00:07:41]:
Yeah.

Tommy [00:07:41]:
Now take all that and be like, well, you know what I mean? I imagine myself as, like, another person out there.

Eldar [00:07:49]:
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Catherine could speak on us, too.

Tommy [00:07:52]:
Who I can't even. I can't even reasonably.

Eldar [00:07:55]:
Yeah.

Tommy [00:07:56]:
Say something true about, but imagine as, like, a negative person, a negative thing. And I've been through this in a way. Like, I've actually kind of cruised through this a little bit. But, um.

Eldar [00:08:12]:
Hold on 1 second. What is your question around it about what you're experiencing?

Mike [00:08:16]:
So my question. My question is, you know, um, the have certain patterns or certain, like, you know, stretches where everything's good. I don't have, like, these thoughts that I don't appreciate. Let's just say as the person that I'd like to be, that's striving to be, those thoughts don't line up with my character that I'm trying to develop now and I'm trying to understand, how does that get interrupted? That I start resorting to thinking in that way that I used to think, which I'm trying to avoid now. So trying to understand and find those things that cause us. Cause me personally to get into trouble, because obviously what I'm trying to do is not be in trouble and trying to live a happy, you know, honest life and doing things that are. Don't align with that. That's trouble, you know, because I don't like it.

Mike [00:09:09]:
I feel like right away I'm like, y'all, like, what the fuck did I just do? Why did I do this? Why did I get in trouble? Like, I'm not happy. I have maybe some regrets.

Eldar [00:09:20]:
I became a lot more sensitive now.

Mike [00:09:22]:
I definitely became sensitive. Yeah.

Eldar [00:09:23]:
Yeah. To it. To those things, those pitfalls.

Mike [00:09:26]:
To those pitfalls. Yeah, I definitely. Yeah, I think so.

Tommy [00:09:29]:
So, for instance, like, if one thing I've focused on recently, so I'm not gonna, like, try to turn this into a teachable moment. I've tried to focus on just being more honest recently and maybe in the last few months. And the key thing for me is really to acknowledge that really, I'm aware that honesty in these particular ways. So, like, in this specific way, being honest, I might say, right. In whatever specific way it is, is going to help. And why is it going to help? Because it's going to train my mind to sort of be present and not sort of, like, retreat into the shadows.

Eldar [00:10:21]:
So not the example of you coming in here and totally asking a question about a particular subject and you saying that you don't care about it, but actually you did.

Tommy [00:10:28]:
Well, here's how it went. Did you hear what he said?

Eldar [00:10:33]:
No, I wasn't here. No, no. That's what.

Tommy [00:10:35]:
No, no, I'm not asking you. He asked me. He asked me. Did you hear what he said? Yeah, now I've heard some things and stuff.

Eldar [00:10:43]:
Right? Yeah.

Mike [00:10:44]:
And so I just kind of play it over. You didn't know anything.

Eldar [00:10:47]:
That's an example of the honesty that you try to practice.

Tommy [00:10:49]:
I know.

Mike [00:10:50]:
I probe that.

Eldar [00:10:50]:
No, I just want to know the form of what's the type of artist he's trying to practice?

Tommy [00:10:54]:
I asked him when. I asked him when, and I told him basically at the beginning, I wish we had recorded it, but I told him at the beginning that it was basically willing to rubber stamp it, because that's just how I feel, rubber stamping it.

Mike [00:11:07]:
Give it a year. Seal of approval.

Tommy [00:11:08]:
Mean, like, boom. Yeah, seal of approval. Yes, exactly. Yeah. So. And I mean, but that's what was apparently on t's mind, because it's just current. Current pop.

Mike [00:11:19]:
Where he was also sick at the moment.

Tommy [00:11:22]:
Right.

Mike [00:11:23]:
He was. Brain wasn't functioning.

Eldar [00:11:26]:
All right, cool. So we got an idea of the type of honesty you're talking about.

Tommy [00:11:29]:
So in terms of honesty. In terms of honesty, I really do think that it just.

Eldar [00:11:34]:
You a lying piece of shit. I'm sorry, that was just an outburst.

Tommy [00:11:37]:
Wait, hey. But okay, an example. An example was with my car. For me, I generated this idea that me being honest about my money really, like, allowed me to be free, and honesty led to freedom. So, like, me being honest about this car being too much or, like, taxing for me. Right. In terms of, like, me being able to afford it and letting it go and starting to, like, spend less, that amounted to honesty.

Mike [00:12:12]:
Mm hmm.

Tommy [00:12:13]:
You know what I mean?

Mike [00:12:14]:
Yeah.

Tommy [00:12:15]:
So, like, there are maybe many versions of honesty for an individual. I can be honest about just certain things, and maybe that's just being present. So, like, honesty and presence, they sort of make sense, but it also. It also matters to me because these are particulars, right. In my mind, knowing that I can, um. Like, I can weigh one thing against another, and, like, that allows me to sort of grow as the person that I want to be, you know?

Eldar [00:12:45]:
It's a very good point. And then, um, not what you said, what I'm about to say. What's his name? Honesty allowed him to be going to the present moment. And I think if we examine honesty as a virtue and practice of it, I think I agree with him that it does promote inherently to become present. Yeah, go ahead.

Katherine [00:13:28]:
I didn't mean to interrupt. No, but I agree with what you were saying. I was thinking, like, what Mike was saying about sometimes having these thoughts and then making these decisions, and then, like, wait a minute. This is not who I want to be. I think in the moment of when you're presented with, like, you know, like, this opportunity or whatever, like, who do I want to be? Like, you have to really just pause and ask yourself, is this in line with the person that I want to be?

Mike [00:13:55]:
Yeah, like.

Katherine [00:13:56]:
Like, the goal that you see for yourself, be more honest. Honest with yourself, you know?

Eldar [00:14:01]:
Yeah.

Katherine [00:14:02]:
You know, like, you have to stop in the moment and find honesty, but so that means, like, you have to be in the moment. Like, you have to pause, and I. And actually think, like, is this in line? Is this aligned with the person I want to be? And if it requires something that's cheating, stealing, or whatever, then probably not, you know, because that's not what you want to put out there for yourself, you know? So I think, like, I guess here.

Eldar [00:14:24]:
Here's a trick. There's a very good point that I'm gonna make again. It's a good one. Right, Tommy?

Katherine [00:14:32]:
Should we just walk out of here?

Eldar [00:14:34]:
No, she's right. I think that honesty and being in the present moment have a very specific connection. Think about it. Can you be in the moment and be dishonest? And can you be honest and not be in the moment?

Mike [00:14:54]:
Wow.

Eldar [00:14:54]:
There's a fucking Symbian or whatever relationship in the motherfucker.

Mike [00:14:59]:
Why?

Eldar [00:15:00]:
And they all because of the fact.

Mike [00:15:01]:
It'S a virtue, I think. All virtues, they're all interconnected with each other.

Eldar [00:15:05]:
Correct. And they're fun.

Mike [00:15:06]:
Be one without the other.

Eldar [00:15:07]:
Yes.

Mike [00:15:08]:
They're all like you are. If you're into one, you're into the other.

Eldar [00:15:12]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:15:12]:
It's all of them.

Tommy [00:15:13]:
Mike, if you don't mind me asking.

Mike [00:15:14]:
Yes.

Tommy [00:15:15]:
How are you doing it? How are you working on your character?

Mike [00:15:21]:
Well, definitely part of it, I think.

Eldar [00:15:23]:
Is not just listening to Dennis Rock's podcast.

Mike [00:15:26]:
No, fucking doing it by doing it. But Dennis probably wouldn't believe that our show was plugged, but by.

Tommy [00:15:36]:
We got the why. Right?

Eldar [00:15:37]:
It just registered. Yeah, it registered because, yo, I'm drinking this vodka. But, yo, that vodka that we just reached out to. Yeah, they were fucking cheap enough. They were cheap. They didn't want to pay $5,000 a month for us to say their name and sponsor. But there's another one. Our price just went up.

Eldar [00:15:52]:
If we're gonna mention of the vodka that we're drinking on this podcast and give me $10,000 a month, whoever's ready, let me know. All right?

Mike [00:15:59]:
Yes, this should.

Tommy [00:16:02]:
Is this the point where I say this, this is sponsored by absolutely nobody.

Mike [00:16:07]:
Absolutely nobody.

Eldar [00:16:09]:
Nobody that can afford this shit for now. Yeah.

Tommy [00:16:13]:
So, I mean, how are you? Yeah, how are you?

Mike [00:16:16]:
You know, there's a, I think there's a couple of things that I'm doing that I can think of right now. When you ask that question, one is. Yeah, it's probably one is removing certain desires from my life. Yeah, right. Like, and having very small and specific ones. Like, ultimately, right now, what I'm looking for my life is I just want to be happy, you know, and I truly believe that I want to be happy. So me buying a cardinal that I can't afford or going and buying something I can't afford to, doing something I can't afford, I have to say, like, hey, these are desires that I have, but how is that going to contribute to my happiness? Right? So limiting certain desires probably is a big one, you know, that. And knowing that those are actually not going to make me happy doing that.

Eldar [00:17:09]:
By knowing how.

Mike [00:17:14]:
I guess it's, it kind of happened in the process of slowing down, you know, and really paying attention and not like, I guess the less you have on your plate, the more you can focus on the small, on the other stuff. If you have a million things on your plate, it's gonna be hard to give any attention. Anything. I'm thinking it through. So now I've had very limited responsibilities in my life. You know, I have limited responsibilities, desires, and they're connected because like, hey, I have a business. I'm responsible for that business. But my responsibility is not to grow that business, a multi billion dollar corporation.

Mike [00:17:50]:
My responsibility in that business for myself that I've chosen is that I want to have a good company, a company that's sustainable, that can afford me the lifestyle I want to live. And I've chosen that lifestyle I want to live is one that's more focused on examination and myself and my freedoms. So maybe I won't make, you know, ten, 2000 million a year and I'll make, I don't know, 100,000 a year, but at least I'll have the freedom and the time to focus on the important stuff that I have decided for me is important.

Tommy [00:18:24]:
I would say it's just an honest view. Right? So like, that's the one thing that you can pause on and you can say, this is what I'm weighing it against.

Eldar [00:18:30]:
And that's powerful, that's, that's inspiring.

Tommy [00:18:35]:
But I do definitely remember to be.

Eldar [00:18:37]:
Able to, you know, I mean, you will obviously to be able to reiterate that when you're talking shit, that's your shit.

Mike [00:18:43]:
Mm hmm.

Eldar [00:18:44]:
Know your shit.

Mike [00:18:45]:
Oh, yeah. I holy believe fully.

Eldar [00:18:48]:
Like, that's it.

Mike [00:18:48]:
You can't tell me anything about that.

Eldar [00:18:50]:
There you go.

Mike [00:18:53]:
Any girl, I'd be like, yo. I have to say, anybody, they cannot tell me like that, that they're living a better life than me.

Eldar [00:19:02]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:19:03]:
Like, as far as work is concerned, well, I love my job.

Eldar [00:19:06]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:19:06]:
You know, I like my job. You're happy? Yeah, I'm good at it.

Eldar [00:19:09]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:19:09]:
I don't come in like, oh, fuck. I actually come in, I'm like, yo, let's get this done. I enjoy. This is fun. I'm happy. It makes me happy. And it also. The way it's structured, the way I've also done certain things along this, you know, period, is that I I've made certain things stress free, you know, like streamlining things.

Mike [00:19:32]:
Right. I actually put in the time to be like, yo. Instead of doing 100 tasks, now I do one task that automates 100.

Tommy [00:19:38]:
Is that as a result of working on your character?

Eldar [00:19:41]:
Would you say 100%?

Mike [00:19:42]:
Yes.

Eldar [00:19:43]:
Okay.

Tommy [00:19:43]:
Because I have to say that, like, that the desire for things is boundless. We all want things, and in particular.

Eldar [00:19:51]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Tommy [00:19:52]:
No, sometimes it's overwhelming. It's taxing to energy to just want.

Eldar [00:19:58]:
Yeah, but he's explained to you these thinking things through to see whether or not that particular thing is gonna impede on his happiness.

Tommy [00:20:05]:
Okay. Maybe you're not gonna subscribe to my view, but I would definitely not.

Eldar [00:20:09]:
I don't even have to hear it.

Tommy [00:20:10]:
Out, what you're speaking for.

Eldar [00:20:12]:
No, I'm reading your energy, Tom. You're gonna be fucking wrong.

Tommy [00:20:14]:
No, what I'm saying is that. What I'm saying is saying is, is that okay. Yeah. You know?

Mike [00:20:22]:
Yeah.

Tommy [00:20:24]:
Some kind of, like, fucking boundary said the truth on a certain thing.

Eldar [00:20:28]:
He said the truth. Less is more. He just said it. Less is more. Less is fucking more. He realized that all the other fucking nonsense.

Tommy [00:20:35]:
What kind of game I have to play?

Eldar [00:20:37]:
Yeah, you think you come in here, run shit. Get the fuck out of here, bro.

Tommy [00:20:42]:
Listen, man, you put me permanently.

Eldar [00:20:47]:
Lean out of here, brother.

Tommy [00:20:49]:
Like, you can't have me in this chair.

Eldar [00:20:51]:
Mike set you up with that stairs.

Katherine [00:20:53]:
What he just said is, yes.

Eldar [00:20:55]:
I love that.

Katherine [00:20:56]:
Always out of whack.

Mike [00:20:57]:
I never have the best seat.

Tommy [00:21:01]:
What I believe is.

Mike [00:21:02]:
What I.

Tommy [00:21:02]:
What I honestly believe is that there are some battles that I fight, for example, like, with things that I want and desire, and that if I didn't have a very clear picture of what I was doing for my character. I would lose. And that's why we have to be really clear, vigilant. You really believe that what you're doing is for a good purpose? That's what I mean, yeah.

Eldar [00:21:29]:
He just told you his purpose is to be happy.

Tommy [00:21:32]:
Yeah. But there's also. There's also even a desire for work that can take over all the energy in your life.

Eldar [00:21:39]:
But that's why he's examining those tasks and understanding what's what. What he can't take on it. Can't take on. You know what I'm saying? He could build a company that's $10 million revenues. $10 million. He knows he can do it.

Mike [00:21:49]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:21:49]:
He's choosing not to.

Mike [00:21:50]:
Yeah. Because I know that.

Eldar [00:21:52]:
Because he understand the scope of me, what I.

Mike [00:21:55]:
It's not gonna make my. Necessarily make my life any better.

Tommy [00:21:58]:
So what will make your life better? That's. Yeah. So what is it you want to see happen?

Eldar [00:22:04]:
Consistency of character.

Mike [00:22:06]:
Character, probably, yeah. That's what we have in that same energy that I have with regards to my business. So it's everything else in life in towards meeting new people, towards making new friendships, towards getting into a relationship.

Tommy [00:22:17]:
So you're talking about doing your whole, your. The rest of your life, like you.

Mike [00:22:21]:
Run your business with the same energy.

Eldar [00:22:25]:
Same energy. Yes.

Mike [00:22:26]:
Yes.

Tommy [00:22:27]:
The same what?

Eldar [00:22:28]:
Like, he's happy doing it. He said he's likes doing it. He enjoys it. He likes what he gets from it, everything around it. So you would like to engage in other forms of things in life, right. Playing basketball, meeting your girl, hanging out with his friends.

Tommy [00:22:41]:
So maybe what it is you need to do is distill. Like, what are the things that you really love about your, like, let's say, your routine or the aspects of your business that really please you and reward. Feel rewarding and.

Mike [00:22:55]:
Well, yeah. The thing I think, and that's in that part of your simple but complicated is I decided that I would like to line up with the truth when I. In relation to my business. Right. Which is like, I want to be an honest person. I want to do business honest way. I don't want to engage in certain, probably battles with. With customers or people that I work with or other companies that I, you know, have relationship with.

Mike [00:23:22]:
I realize that. That. That money has no value compared to my piece. So I can go fight for $500 or a $1,000 or $3,000 with somebody, but that's that number.

Eldar [00:23:40]:
Good t shirt that the money doesn't have the value for my piece. That money doesn't have value for my.

Mike [00:23:45]:
Piece, but those things. That money. Yeah, it doesn't have value for my piece. So I'm willing. I'm not willing to fight for that money, you know, in and the same time, to sacrifice my peace of mind.

Tommy [00:24:00]:
You know, it's kind of, for me, it's, like, sort of contradictory, even to you. Like, as a friend, I can see in your character when it comes to money, like, it's kind of contradictory for me to see about you that it would. It would have, like. So you're, like, stating something like that, sort of the obvious. You're like, money doesn't have value to my piece. And that's, like, it would be contradictory for your character for it to be the opposite.

Mike [00:24:29]:
You see, I'm saying, yeah, that's because you know why? And I. That's because you've never seen my character before, how I used to be in business. You've never seen that side of me because we don't have that relationship. You know, like, I have my business and I run that, and I used to run that in a very specific way, you know? So you've never seen that side of me as a business owner or as a businessman. So that's why it's surprising to you, because with my friends, I'm, you know, I'm different. I don't put money in between us. Like, I have no problem, you know?

Tommy [00:25:01]:
So what would you say that, like, the biggest problems, like, start to present themselves with, like, you know, where. In other words, like, the easy way, like, where do you think you trip up the most when it comes to business?

Mike [00:25:16]:
Business, yeah.

Tommy [00:25:17]:
Where do you think it is that your character falters or struggles that leads you down the wrong path? Um, because I could say it's. This is not an easy question, I don't think.

Mike [00:25:28]:
But, you know, where do I struggle the most if you're working on your character? Yeah, where I struggle the most?

Eldar [00:25:34]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:25:35]:
Um, well, something has been recent. Just yesterday, I guess, discovered, you know, something that I'm still, like, trying to, you know, understand more is that the person who I was, that person had certain interests or maybe distractions that they used to distract themselves from the day to day life. So, like, you go to work, right? The way I used to go to work. I used to work a lot, many hours, and then I needed an extreme thing to distract me from that work. So it would be buying expensive things, going on expensive trips, over, spending on expensive things that I didn't need. So I was basically, like it's hard to explain.

Tommy [00:26:22]:
You weren't usually working right.

Mike [00:26:24]:
No, I think I was maybe in a understanding of business. I was working very efficiently because, you know, you work hard, you work a lot of hours. You put in Matt working, you make him out. Making mad money shit is not the ideal. Oh, not for me.

Tommy [00:26:40]:
But it sounds like on paper it sounds right.

Mike [00:26:42]:
Yes, yes.

Eldar [00:26:45]:
And the shit that you're chasing.

Mike [00:26:46]:
Yeah, yeah. And in the escape I had to also be extreme. So I, you know, probably would extremely shop my extremely expensive stuff. You know, things that you needed to compensate for the unhappiness I guess in a way that you were doing to yourself. You need to compensate with other things that actually didn't provide you in happiness. But they were extreme. They were very expensive. Like, you know, I had very expensive cars and things I couldn't afford.

Tommy [00:27:12]:
Right.

Mike [00:27:12]:
But I was chasing.

Tommy [00:27:13]:
You're sort of buying the energy back, right?

Mike [00:27:16]:
Yeah, yeah.

Katherine [00:27:17]:
Probably some sort of void.

Eldar [00:27:20]:
Yep, that is a good point.

Mike [00:27:21]:
You trying, you're trying to.

Eldar [00:27:23]:
Trying to buy the energy back.

Mike [00:27:25]:
Yes.

Eldar [00:27:26]:
Justify.

Mike [00:27:26]:
Yes.

Katherine [00:27:27]:
I think it comes from like an emotional place. There's an. There's some sort of emotional something that.

Eldar [00:27:33]:
I would say to just to put.

Katherine [00:27:36]:
Out cover or to kind of.

Eldar [00:27:38]:
Cuz I try to fuck yourself.

Tommy [00:27:40]:
So this is the kind of muddiness that we all try to avoid.

Eldar [00:27:44]:
Think about it. It's anger and you trying to fuck yourself.

Mike [00:27:47]:
Let me know if it's escape yourself. I guess if. Yeah, it was definitely an attempt. It's a distract the stuff that I was going through because not only, you know, being a big, you know, a big. In my own sense of it, being a big businessman is you have a big ego, you were competing with other companies and you feel like, yo, like these guys are beneath me or I'm better than them, you know. And there's one thing if you're doing with confidence that, yeah, hey, you are presenting a very good product. Yeah, but there's another thing to say like, hey, that, you know, like fuck these guys or I'm angry at them, like, yo, don't count me out, you know, I can still fucking show you guys what's up. Like, you know, so I think there was part of that and that was definitely like anger, you know, and I needed to express myself to kind of like you said, yeah, get the energy back in those kind of ways.

Mike [00:28:33]:
So the thing that I'm.

Tommy [00:28:36]:
And nothing can come really. Like I think when you're in the moment and you just feel like you, you just got something really nice. Like, that's the only way of sort of, like, getting that exchange. You give the money and this is what you get.

Mike [00:28:50]:
Yeah.

Tommy [00:28:50]:
And that thing is, like, immutably that thing. It's a very watch is always gonna be that watch. And that.

Mike [00:28:57]:
Yeah, watches you. Now you need another watch because that one watch, it only lasted for a week or two.

Eldar [00:29:03]:
Correct.

Mike [00:29:03]:
Now you need another watch. Now you need another car, because if you try to fill yourself with things that actually don't fill you, you're never gonna be fulfilled.

Eldar [00:29:11]:
That's right.

Tommy [00:29:12]:
Like, it gives me a bad taste in my mouth to think I have to sell my car back if I run into some financial troubles. It really does.

Eldar [00:29:19]:
But sort of is it appropriate or.

Tommy [00:29:22]:
Not tamed version of.

Mike [00:29:24]:
Yeah. Of what I appropriate. Because when you live a life like that, you. The consequences of living that kind of life, and I'm not sure how to, like, call it or label it, the consequence of that is that's what happens to you. You always end up. You trying to, like, fuck yourself and then you get fucked.

Tommy [00:29:44]:
You know, I wonder, Mike, how much do people on the outside really see the difference of whatever car or however it is that you seem to carry yourself, your ego today? You know how many people are tapping into ego out there?

Mike [00:29:59]:
I think a lot of people are. You know, if I was to make.

Tommy [00:30:03]:
A guess, I often think, like, I'm sometimes a center of attention or something like that. Right. And for whatever reason, I feel like people are somewhat aware of, like, what's happening. You know what I mean? And what.

Eldar [00:30:21]:
No, but rightfully so. I think you should be. Every individual individual should have a level of, like, yo, like, my shit don't stink. They should. Should be humble to degree, but, yeah, they should understand that. Like, yo, there is some magic in there is the.

Mike [00:30:34]:
There is a thin line between ego.

Eldar [00:30:36]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:30:36]:
And confidence, and that's the line between everything in life and I think finding out that middle ground and, Tom.

Eldar [00:30:44]:
Yeah. In your case, to give you my feedback, not to toot your horn. You do have something to say.

Tommy [00:30:52]:
In this?

Eldar [00:30:53]:
No, period.

Mike [00:30:54]:
I do have something to say.

Eldar [00:30:55]:
You do have something to say. You, like, you are an interesting character. You are an interesting fellow. Oh, no, deadass.

Tommy [00:31:02]:
Thanks.

Eldar [00:31:03]:
Like, this is outside of whatever. You have something to offer. You know what I mean?

Mike [00:31:07]:
Yeah. Hundred percent.

Eldar [00:31:07]:
You're not just like a sim.

Mike [00:31:09]:
You know what I mean?

Eldar [00:31:09]:
Like, you have something to say.

Mike [00:31:12]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:31:12]:
You're not a punk, and you have, like, good things that you can stand behind.

Mike [00:31:17]:
Mm hmm.

Eldar [00:31:17]:
You know what I mean, but you just have to go out there and show it. You know, you could get scared sometimes, but, you know, there's substance to you. There's no, there's, there's some depth, you know? And I'm not, this is not to toot your horn or boost your ego, but I hardly believe that you do too. Right?

Mike [00:31:33]:
Yeah. You're not always right, but you definitely, you have a brain that works, and you're definitely a thinker.

Eldar [00:31:38]:
Yeah, you're definitely a thinker.

Mike [00:31:39]:
So, like, not always the right thing.

Eldar [00:31:40]:
Yeah. So for you to feel. For you to feel that you're the center of attention, you should be, it's, it's justified 100%, I think, what's really nice. But, Tom, the only reason why I made that compliment is because I also know the world's fucked up. So you fit in pretty well. You know what I'm saying, tom? But if the world was better, you would be fucking dirt and bottom mushroom, bro.

Mike [00:32:06]:
Oh, shit. You got it right. You connected it right.

Tommy [00:32:11]:
That's all right. But sometimes I want to espouse my character as dirt, because for me, it feels good to just be whoever the fuck I want to be today, you know? Even if that's outlaw motherfucking crazy Tommy, who used to be, you know, whatever. But it's all, it's all up in here now. That's what's crazy. What's crazy is that, like, you know, I realize that there are these people, so to speak.

Eldar [00:32:35]:
These are.

Tommy [00:32:35]:
Maybe it's in your own voice, in your own head that tries to sort of make you feel guilt, shame, and all that does is make the problem worse. And sometimes it's sort of like that, that pressure that we feel, I guess.

Eldar [00:32:50]:
I see. Yeah. He gets oppressed, though, by the world. One thing is when he comes here, he feels comfortable. He can, he can talk about his ideas and be more so, like, oppressing and maybe challenge us even. Right when he goes out there. He's a weirdo.

Mike [00:33:03]:
Yeah. I understand what you're saying. Yeah.

Tommy [00:33:05]:
Right.

Mike [00:33:06]:
And I'm learning this.

Tommy [00:33:07]:
I'm learning about this now. Yeah.

Eldar [00:33:09]:
He's misunderstood.

Tommy [00:33:10]:
But I'll tell you, it does come from that desire to actually fulfill my dreams.

Eldar [00:33:15]:
Well, they're not supposed to understand it, Mike. If the world is the way it is, they're like, they're not gonna understand the shit. You know what I'm saying?

Tommy [00:33:20]:
So that's the flip side of the coin. So there is a sort of truth.

Eldar [00:33:24]:
To, but he has to promote it. He has to be the ones who pushes the envelope.

Mike [00:33:29]:
Like, you have to be unapologetically yourself.

Eldar [00:33:31]:
Correct. You gotta go talk that shit. Yeah. Yeah. You got a challenge. You gotta fight back. But you're pushing.

Tommy [00:33:39]:
But here's the thing.

Mike [00:33:39]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:33:40]:
You are.

Tommy [00:33:40]:
That becomes very difficulty when you go out, not having a plan and.

Eldar [00:33:46]:
Well, that's the thing, Tom. That means you don't then internally, you.

Tommy [00:33:49]:
Don'T know yourself, anticipating these games in your mind before you.

Eldar [00:33:52]:
Yes. You don't play it out. The anxiety. Fucking cardinal. Yeah. That's your shit.

Tommy [00:33:57]:
Yes.

Mike [00:33:58]:
That was.

Eldar [00:33:58]:
You're a very anxious person.

Tommy [00:34:00]:
Or it's something that.

Eldar [00:34:00]:
You're borderline paranoid schizophrenic.

Tommy [00:34:04]:
It's something that I'm definitely trying to pull myself away from.

Eldar [00:34:07]:
Good, good. You definitely should.

Mike [00:34:09]:
Yeah.

Tommy [00:34:10]:
Yeah. But I'll say it is. It is sort of about that appreciation for me of having sort of like that. That. That, um. That energy to. To contemplate, you know, the energy to actually see things fully and realize things for what they are. Whatever the outcome is, whatever.

Tommy [00:34:31]:
Whether it's emotion or whether it's. What did you say?

Eldar [00:34:36]:
I don't know. I was just.

Tommy [00:34:38]:
Yeah. You know, like, I. For me, shopping might be a completely different reason because of the way that I am.

Eldar [00:34:45]:
Yeah.

Tommy [00:34:46]:
Because of these sort of, like, conditions that I face, you know? It might be different for everyone. For everyone. You know, it could be that you have a crazy obsession with, I don't know, buying lottery tickets or something, you know? And. But character, I think it goes beyond that. It goes beyond, like, I'm just gonna limit myself from doing these things.

Mike [00:35:08]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:35:09]:
Mm hmm.

Mike [00:35:10]:
Yeah. Character is something that you have to believe in.

Eldar [00:35:13]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:35:15]:
It shouldn't be like, oh, I don't believe in this, but I'm gonna push my force myself not to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's. That's kind of like characters.

Eldar [00:35:24]:
Like, look, if you developed a new one or Katherine developed a new one or Tommy or whatever, whoever is developing a new one, you start slowly testing the water. You go out there, you start throwing into the reality and see how it sticks. Oh, this. This is good. This worked. This worked. Okay, cool. Like, I kind of.

Eldar [00:35:43]:
I kind of think this shit. Motherfuckers fucking with me. You know what I mean? Like, I'm being understood. I'm being admired, I'm being praised, and all this other shit. Like, we're just digest now with him, right. There's a character of Tom that we fuck with.

Mike [00:35:55]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:35:55]:
That. This character, for sure. You introduce it to somebody else. Yo, they're like, what the fuck? He's a fucking weirdo. Stay away from this person. You know what I mean? The cops being called, you know what I mean? Like, shit like that, you know?

Tommy [00:36:06]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:36:06]:
It's like they really didn't get to know him, but he didn't give the opportunity for that character to be actually be understood, be promoted, be accepted, and then be admired. You know what I'm saying?

Mike [00:36:16]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:36:17]:
We don't really admire him because, like, we know there's flaws and shit in this shit. You know what I'm saying? Still scared. And also, we don't want to peddle that.

Tommy [00:36:23]:
Right. Better than you guys who have known me for so long.

Eldar [00:36:26]:
Yeah, yeah. But we accept them, we understand them, and we fuck with him, you know? But the world. Yeah. Like, his character needs to be slowly, slowly, slowly. Like, you keep trying it out, testing things out, testing the waters, and then you become it, and then you like, all right, cool. Yeah, I'm good here. I feel comfortable. This brings me happiness.

Eldar [00:36:43]:
I'm gonna be at going forward.

Tommy [00:36:44]:
And that's the 100 right there.

Eldar [00:36:46]:
Yeah, that's the 100. And that's where the creatives happens, Tom. That's why you've been fucking so slow to launch.

Tommy [00:36:50]:
And this is what I was. I work to protect. I work to protect the fact that, like, in your words, I'm sort of creating a new character.

Mike [00:36:59]:
Yeah.

Tommy [00:36:59]:
It's not necessarily new. You see, I'm saying. It almost sounds ridiculous. I'm gonna be.

Eldar [00:37:05]:
You haven't jump into the time that you guys never knew tomorrow.

Tommy [00:37:08]:
That's impossible. Like, it's just. It's just impossible. It's almost irrational. But it makes sense to say I'm trying to, like, reform myself, or I'm trying to recover from things that I fucked up with back in the day. For me, I'm trying to recover a sense of, like, something even further back than drugs, bro. You know, I'm trying to be the person who I always wanted to be. I'm trying to engage with, like, things that I'm giving myself the reason right now to believe is the right thing to do.

Tommy [00:37:35]:
It's the only thing that is required for me to do. So once you've reduced it to something so simple that it can't just be, you know what I mean? Discounted. It's just. It's down to, like, those first principles. You've got it right where you need it to be. You know what I mean? So, like, working on character is not as simple as saying I'm nothing. You know, I'm not spending.

Mike [00:38:02]:
You're not what?

Eldar [00:38:02]:
Spending?

Tommy [00:38:03]:
Yeah, I'm not spending. Maybe that is very simple, but I think that it starts to get more interesting when you say, I'm not spending, so that I can this or that. And now you give yourself a reason to be proud and feel courageous about what you're doing. This is just really. I'm just riffing here in a creative way because I think that you exist in a place and you're a person with particular wants and needs. And, you know, that's what I mean. I mean, just kind of like, boiling it down to character. That's kind of what I see.

Eldar [00:38:44]:
So, Mike, what you got?

Mike [00:38:48]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:38:51]:
Does that help?

Mike [00:38:52]:
Yeah, it's interesting. Yeah, I mean, I guess I didn't finish my thought. What else? What I was saying about earlier about the character, but. Yeah, a character, let's just say the criminal mind, the stupid mind that I was for many, many years in my life, can only. Can only have stupid interests. You're not gonna be a guy who runs around running amok, doing stupid shit, borrowing money, spending money like crazy, buying shit you can't afford, being in crazy debt. And then go fucking plant flowers in the forest. You know, do that.

Eldar [00:39:26]:
He said, yo, Sunday service.

Mike [00:39:28]:
Yeah. You cannot do that.

Eldar [00:39:29]:
Holy.

Tommy [00:39:30]:
You know, I've never heard that. Go plant, plant flowers in the forest.

Mike [00:39:34]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:39:35]:
Said, go pray on Sundays.

Mike [00:39:36]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Eldar [00:39:36]:
Go ask for forgiveness.

Mike [00:39:38]:
Yeah. You cannot do. You cannot do that. Doesn't line up what a stupid mind does for my. Ten more. Yeah, sure.

Tommy [00:39:45]:
So we. Hold on, let me ask.

Mike [00:39:46]:
I'm saying that what a criminal mind, a stupid mind does.

Tommy [00:39:49]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:39:50]:
Extends to everything in life. So you can't be a criminal and one thing, and then all of a sudden be the best friend, best son, best boyfriend or best husband. You cannot. It doesn't matter. The society trying to bury the society. Bury the society 100%.

Eldar [00:40:06]:
Look, no, they're not gonna be able to wake up tomorrow, bro.

Tommy [00:40:09]:
Well, I mean, like, let's say. Let's say Mike. Let's say Mike was the criminal mind, right?

Mike [00:40:14]:
How's the say? I'm saying.

Tommy [00:40:16]:
Yeah, no, no. Oh, hold on.

Eldar [00:40:18]:
Let me.

Tommy [00:40:19]:
Let me say in a way that won't confuse. Let's say right now that I am the criminal mind, but I affect nobody. It affects nobody. Hold on a second. Nobody would really care, would they? Right when, like, when I had complaints about my life or something like that, if I can't, right when I used to come in here and complain and say, I'm, you know, I wish I was doing this. I wish I was doing that.

Mike [00:40:43]:
There's none leftover?

Eldar [00:40:46]:
No, I have.

Mike [00:40:47]:
Okay. Yeah, Tom. Good.

Tommy [00:40:51]:
What I mean to say is that, like, people will, I guess, like, see what I. What I think is people see things, like, through. They'll see right through you. They'll see right through the bullshit. Like. Like someone who's a terrible writer or something like that. Like someone who writes a shitty book.

Mike [00:41:09]:
Yeah.

Tommy [00:41:10]:
Or, like, let me just use a fair example. Like, there's this. There's this guy who, years ago, he wrote a. He wrote a memoir, and it was all bullshit, but he passed it for real. You know what I mean? And there's a lesson to be learned for that, from that, for people who want to write their own memoirs, and that's, like, don't be dishonest. But there's another way of being dishonest, and that's to just to. To not pursue the craft that you should be pursuing honestly. You know what I mean? Whether that.

Tommy [00:41:44]:
Whatever that means, you know, whatever that means. Like, you're taking material from other people, or you're actually writing knowing that you're not happy with, like, you know what I mean? Like, you're writing knowing that you're not really thinking about the reader, who is the most important person. These are just, like, writing things, you know? So, you know, they say, like, you can't bullshit a bullshitter. Like, you're not gonna fool. Yeah. You know, you're not gonna fool anyone. No one's gonna care. Really?

Mike [00:42:17]:
Yeah, nobody's gonna care. Yeah.

Tommy [00:42:18]:
Yeah. And that's not really. That doesn't really help, does it? It doesn't really help to, like, ignore. Ignore the thing that maybe you should give attention.

Mike [00:42:28]:
Yeah, but, yeah, but you're gonna care. And the day you can only trick yourself for so long.

Tommy [00:42:33]:
Ha.

Mike [00:42:33]:
I mean, wow. You know, I don't know.

Tommy [00:42:36]:
I don't know.

Mike [00:42:37]:
Maybe when you're 50, 60, 70, it might be. When you're 30, 40, it might be in your deathbed, but eventually the jigs up.

Tommy [00:42:44]:
Okay, so how do you. How do you remedy, like, the small slip ups and stuff?

Mike [00:42:49]:
Like, well, that's what. That's what we.

Eldar [00:42:52]:
Yeah. The thing is, the crumbs that you were given to, I think, leads you to a bigger elephant. Okay. That means if you still having crumbs, that means there's something about you that you have not turned over or changed in order to really be immersed in the new self that you've developed. Yeah.

Tommy [00:43:11]:
This sounds, like, strangely familiar, you know?

Eldar [00:43:14]:
Yeah. Yeah. Because, which is fine.

Tommy [00:43:17]:
There's some things that are just on the surface, like, this is not just the tip of the ice.

Eldar [00:43:20]:
Yeah. This is not to say that you're a bad person. This is to say that you're still work in progress until you get to a place where like, yo, I'm good. I like this. This is where I want to be. You know what I mean? Yeah, that, and then, you know, you have a level of consistency of character because you've developed it for a while. But I think you talked about a lot of the times that you still seeing certain patterns and stuff like that. Tom, I think it's like a residual of the fact that you've been conditioned to be a certain type of way for a very long time.

Eldar [00:43:49]:
And so don't beat yourself up over it, that it's coming. You're not acting on it anyway. You may be thinking about it. It's fine to think about it. It's thoughts. Right for the moment, about the fact that those certain ideas, those, those negative, negative thoughts or ideas are still come your way, babe, this is also for you, right, that they still come. But you don't have to say like, this is who I am. They're supposed to come because they're the.

Eldar [00:44:16]:
You've been conditioned for a very long time to feel a certain type of way. For a very long time.

Katherine [00:44:20]:
For a very long time, I thought that my thoughts were who I was.

Eldar [00:44:24]:
Correct.

Katherine [00:44:24]:
You know, now I'm starting to learn, like, you know one thing.

Eldar [00:44:27]:
You have a choice.

Katherine [00:44:28]:
Listen to it. But nothing is to finally believe that, no, I actually do have a choice. And just because that was my thought doesn't mean that that's who I am. It's taking me a long time.

Eldar [00:44:37]:
So when you finally become that observer, right, then you could make a choice of which character you actually want to be.

Katherine [00:44:43]:
You're in the seat of. You're in the seat of the witness. You're just observing.

Eldar [00:44:47]:
Now, the key is now, if you get rid of the person who makes the choice, then you are you, you and deep shit, and you got a problem.

Katherine [00:44:54]:
If you what?

Eldar [00:44:55]:
If you get rid of the person who makes the choice over the observer, who makes the choice of what you want to be, then you're in trouble, because then you're on automatic pilot already.

Mike [00:45:04]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:45:06]:
Picking the wrong side.

Katherine [00:45:07]:
So you would say, like, losing your self awareness.

Eldar [00:45:08]:
Yes, yes, correct. Losing your self awareness right now. You know, hey, there's Katherine that can feel this way. And there's Catherine that can feel this way. You can observe those two, you make a choice. I can either be right, do right by me, or I can just be self negative, you know what I mean? When you lose this self awareness right here, the middle one that observes the both two, you in trouble.

Katherine [00:45:31]:
Yeah.

Tommy [00:45:34]:
Okay, so that's like a major thing to not lose that self awareness 100%. And that seems like a pretty simple.

Eldar [00:45:42]:
Task when you're, that's the actually on.

Tommy [00:45:47]:
That sort of path of focus.

Eldar [00:45:48]:
When you are. When you are, however, life is abundantly infinite with opportunities every day.

Tommy [00:45:56]:
Wait, hold on. Is this the generalized version though? Like, this is the outside one size fits all version?

Eldar [00:46:01]:
Like, yeah, for everybody. We also from the same shit. Yeah, you just have different desires. I have different desires, but they're all rooted in the same bullshit. They trying to sway us otherwise.

Tommy [00:46:12]:
Yeah, I have to say that, like, increasingly that feels true.

Eldar [00:46:15]:
Yeah. You know, so like, that's all we have that word excitement on there. That excitement. One of the times is culprit of diminishing your self awareness. Excitement. Getting excited about something, right? New car, new things, new travels. Boy, next thing you know, you're like, wait a second, dude.

Tommy [00:46:33]:
It could be just a rule to live by.

Eldar [00:46:35]:
Next thing you know, be religion, you know? Next thing you know, because you got too excited about travel and everything else. You spending too much money and you, you, you're compromising the peace that you talked about by having a good budget.

Katherine [00:46:48]:
I'm going to right now.

Eldar [00:46:50]:
Okay, good.

Mike [00:46:52]:
Yes.

Katherine [00:46:54]:
I've always had a bad habits with like, spending over my means and like, I guess getting a thrill of shopping, especially if I'm getting a dealer.

Eldar [00:47:08]:
They say it out loud.

Katherine [00:47:10]:
I'm stressing myself about like, now I have like, you know, a balance on my credit card.

Eldar [00:47:14]:
Yes.

Katherine [00:47:14]:
You know, I'm getting.

Eldar [00:47:15]:
Yes.

Katherine [00:47:15]:
Something. I'm getting something I'm emotionally covering up or not attending or just distracting from what's going. From what's going on that maybe I'm not addressing and then just covering it up with like, that instant gratification of shopping or whatever it is.

Tommy [00:47:32]:
Right.

Katherine [00:47:32]:
And now I have to sit with.

Tommy [00:47:34]:
Like, here's, here's, I think a difference. I think.

Eldar [00:47:42]:
You just have to do extra sexual favorite and beg.

Tommy [00:47:47]:
I'm gonna take it one of you.

Eldar [00:47:48]:
As Warren would say before Brown was here, but yo, he's about to take her deep. Yeah, you know, Dennis, hook it up, man. You know, cut that out. Yeah.

Mike [00:47:58]:
You know what I just thought about when you guys. I didn't hear what you're saying. Boy.

Eldar [00:48:00]:
I take advantage of my wife.

Mike [00:48:02]:
Yeah. It's when you're living a criminal life, beg. You have to find distractions so you don't have to face yourself. And shopping, cars and watches and nice things.

Eldar [00:48:14]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:48:15]:
Allow you to buy that temporary distraction time.

Eldar [00:48:20]:
Wow, that's good. That's all good. That's well put. Mike. I love, I wish I said it, but fucking Mike stole my idea. That's well put, I guess.

Mike [00:48:32]:
Leaving. Are you guys going home? What?

Tommy [00:48:35]:
It is?

Eldar [00:48:39]:
Take him home. Yeah, look, he bumped into me. He bumped into me.

Katherine [00:48:44]:
He's like, dad, I think.

Mike [00:48:45]:
Are you standing on my foot?

Eldar [00:48:47]:
Oh, I know.

Tommy [00:48:49]:
Fine.

Mike [00:48:50]:
Hey, hey.

Eldar [00:48:52]:
I know, I know. Hey, what's going on? Go say bye to Tommy. Go say bye to Tommy. Go, go say bye to Tommy. Yeah, yeah. Logan loves you, Tom. Look, he loves you. Despite all your fucking bad qualities, he loves you.

Eldar [00:49:12]:
Yeah, mister Arch. Yeah, go see hi to Mike. Go say bye to Mike. Go say bye to Mike. Yeah. Oh, yeah, look at this. I know. He's being a baby.

Eldar [00:49:33]:
When he wants to play, he'll bite you. Yeah, later, I.

Mike [00:49:36]:
He's like, dad, come home. I want to play.

Eldar [00:49:39]:
So I did want him today.

Tommy [00:49:40]:
So it's elder. Wasn't it long, not long ago they.

Eldar [00:49:43]:
Were like.

Tommy [00:49:45]:
Wasn'T it not long ago that you said something like, if you do things in this particular way, then, like, you can never be wrong. You know what I'm talking about?

Eldar [00:49:56]:
I mean, it's possible if you, if you align yourself with the truth, I would say that. I said that if you say, if you continue to do something right, you can't go wrong. For sure.

Tommy [00:50:05]:
Yeah, yeah. That's because that's exactly what I'm thinking about. Because I think that even when in pursuit of the truth, we stumble and we have a hard time.

Eldar [00:50:13]:
Well, it's supposed to be a hard time when we are in pursuit of truth, Tom. It's supposed to be a tug of war. Because what's happening, Tom, is a lot of the time when we are in pursuit of truth, we actually are going to discover that we are rooted a lot of times in ego, in a lot of false premises. You know what I'm saying? In order to get that ego out of our fucking domain, that's gonna be a fight.

Mike [00:50:35]:
We're gonna have a going against 20, maybe 15, 2030, 40 years of wrong condition logic.

Eldar [00:50:42]:
Yes, believe so. That motherfucker is not gonna go. You can evict them just like that, bro. You can't evict them just like that, man.

Mike [00:50:51]:
You had a certain belief that you don't even think about.

Eldar [00:50:53]:
Yes, yes.

Mike [00:50:55]:
Like, you need to solve problems. You already willing to go to these measures to solve it.

Eldar [00:51:00]:
That's right.

Mike [00:51:01]:
Now I say, yo, no, I don't want to employ these things anymore. I have. I want to be an honest person. I don't want to avoid employing this.

Eldar [00:51:08]:
But you're just saying that, right? Right now, you got to practice that motherfucker. And that's what he's having an identity crisis with right now. He's like, yo, I discovered the truth. I know what I want to be. However, I'm not that yet.

Tommy [00:51:20]:
When you say you know what you want to be, does it sound like if you can repeat it to yourself or whatever, like, does it sound like you have the right idea in mind for yourself?

Eldar [00:51:29]:
Well, integrity. He wants to be rooted in truth.

Mike [00:51:32]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:51:33]:
He just knows that he's not. That's why he has the identity crisis. He's teetering between the two. He's constantly being presented with, like, yo, how do I feel? How do I care? How do I care? And he sometimes fails the test, and that's why he gets unhappy. He gets frustrated. He's like, what the fuck? Inconsistency of character. He's like, yo, how do I become consistent with my shit? I know what I want. Please.

Eldar [00:51:54]:
But it's time now. It's like he's doing the work, you know what I mean? And that takes time. So then one day he's automatic now in his. In his way, right? So his shit don't stink anymore. He loves his shit, and nobody can tell him shit.

Mike [00:52:09]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:52:10]:
And when he gets to that point, he's irresistible.

Tommy [00:52:12]:
You realize, though, like, I don't know if it's Mike.

Eldar [00:52:15]:
It's a.

Tommy [00:52:15]:
It's not Mike alone for me, too. I think, like, at least I know for a fact that, like, there's definitely been times in my life where, like, like tea, you know, like, we have low points and, you know, like, what was I gonna say? I was gonna make this connection where.

Eldar [00:52:32]:
Like, yeah, you're not good at this kind of stuff yet.

Tommy [00:52:35]:
Um, I think it's like, yeah, that's like that. That's my mark to just zip. Yeah, just take that.

Eldar [00:52:52]:
No, no, no. You're a philosopher, bro. You're a philosopher, Tom. You're not good at it.

Mike [00:53:00]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:53:06]:
All you have to say is say one question. Who am I? Oh, my God.

Mike [00:53:16]:
Oh, shit.

Eldar [00:53:18]:
You know what I'm saying.

Tommy [00:53:21]:
Is, has there been a 24 hours podcast done easily? Do it, bronchus.

Mike [00:53:27]:
Yeah, that would be pretty sick, bro. Actually, 24 hours.

Eldar [00:53:29]:
Wow. Easy with this kind of shit, bro. I'm telling you, bro, this is non.

Tommy [00:53:31]:
Stop biblical right there.

Eldar [00:53:33]:
Well, yeah, it is, but the truth is. Fucking truth is eternal. It's not non stop. Fountain of youth and everything, you know? Like, yeah, it's. It's amazing, like, you know. You know, our job is to carry it out into the reality and to be able to, you know, maybe hopefully touch other individuals. You know what I mean? So they don't experience certain traumas and things, you know, fears and anger and all the other unpleasant parts about being human. Right.

Mike [00:54:05]:
Yeah.

Tommy [00:54:07]:
Look, I have to say something relevant regarding this. There are a number of things today that I need to, like, stay away from for my. My own, like, continued on, like, awareness that I'm doing better, moving towards something. It's a sort of weird phenomenon to have that feeling that someone's intruding in your life. And the further away it is from that core, like, some random person or some whoever or, like, some remark or something like that. The further away the truth is from that core, then, like, the less it really has any bearing on, like, on truth. I know for a fact that, like, I can just literally protect what's important to me and still deal with, like, the day to day stuff of, like, maintaining that, I guess, like, the alignment with the truth. For me, it's more like staying present in the moment, you know? Or, like, sometimes, like, I doubt, like, whether I'm doing the right thing or not, you know? I mean, but I know that, like, as long as I have my head sort of, like, focused on, you know, continuing to, like, learn and create, and as long as I have that in mind, then why should I be wrong for wanting to, like, you know, the question is, like.

Tommy [00:55:37]:
Like, how do you. Like, how do you intend on making the change and when do you intend on making the change? Like, for me, yeah, that's kind of what I've got going on in my head. It's like, if I want to continue to achieve and feel like I'm not.

Mike [00:55:55]:
Getting off track, and that's why what you were saying. That's why I said to you. Yeah, I don't know if you remember, what I said earlier is that you have to limit the things that you desire.

Eldar [00:56:05]:
That's right.

Mike [00:56:06]:
You desire just happiness. It has a very different requirement than, I want to have a lot of money, I want to have a lot of houses, a lot of cars, want to travel the world, anyone eat the best food. Happiness does not require a lot maybe.

Eldar [00:56:20]:
Wow.

Tommy [00:56:21]:
1 second, yo, that's. That's good. Maybe limiting the things that you desire.

Mike [00:56:29]:
Yes.

Tommy [00:56:29]:
Isn't necessarily the most important thing that needs to be done in order to maintain happiness.

Eldar [00:56:35]:
Because, yo, I feel bad for people, bro. I'll be honest with you. I'll tell you, I kind of feel bad for people going forward. Like, that's it, you know?

Mike [00:56:43]:
Explain yourself, Mike.

Eldar [00:56:45]:
Everybody's missing out.

Mike [00:56:46]:
Well, that's a given.

Eldar [00:56:48]:
Holy shit. Mike, you said happiness doesn't require a lot. Holy shit. That's a t shirt. Happiness doesn't require a lot. It doesn't actually, bro, the kicks up, bro.

Tommy [00:57:02]:
So holy.

Eldar [00:57:03]:
What I'm saying is, like, if I was people, if I was the people, I'd be missing out. That's fucking wisdom, bro. You know how much that carries or. No, he just told you, so just shut up in the very polite way. You know what I'm saying? He just says shut up. Like, what are you talking about?

Mike [00:57:22]:
Yeah, in a way.

Eldar [00:57:23]:
Yeah, you know what I'm saying?

Mike [00:57:25]:
That's 100% it.

Eldar [00:57:27]:
He said less is more.

Mike [00:57:28]:
Yes.

Eldar [00:57:29]:
Blinded.

Tommy [00:57:31]:
Well, I agree.

Eldar [00:57:31]:
In a very cohesive way.

Tommy [00:57:33]:
I agree. I wouldn't want to, like, I'm not trying to impress my values on anybody. Or, like, maybe, you know, maybe they're not values. Just. They're just. It might not be the right thing to say, this is what you ought to do or whatever, but it could be. It could be something that you suggest, you know? I think that, like, the thing is.

Eldar [00:57:54]:
The person who was able to deduce this, what he's saying, and understand the truth behind it, he can definitely advise for an individual who's looking for it, but the individual who's not looking for it, it'll fall on their ears, is.

Mike [00:58:08]:
Gonna blow by their ears. Yeah, like that. And it's supposed to.

Eldar [00:58:11]:
It's supposed to.

Mike [00:58:12]:
But you came and you asked the question. You presented a problem saying, hey, what do I do? How do I do this? How do I do that? Why am I still doing this? And I explained to you that you, knowing you as your friend, that I've known you for a while, you have desires just like anybody else. And I have desires just like anybody else. But I choose which desires. I try to choose which desires I'm going to chase because I have to weigh, what do I have to do to get this desire? What amount of work or what amount of things have to do in order to live this life? And is that worth that desire? Like, hey, let's say I want to, you know, go on a cruise that cost $15,000.

Eldar [00:58:52]:
Cruise.

Mike [00:58:52]:
Right. I have to think, like, yo, like, what I have to do to make 15,000. If I only make 10,000 a year, for example, right? I gotta work double the fucking time. Do I want to do that? No. So fuck the cruise, because that cruise is not gonna make me that much happier. That desire is not gonna make my life any hot.

Eldar [00:59:10]:
Seven days on the cruise is not gonna justify a year and a half.

Mike [00:59:13]:
Worth of fucking, of busting my ass. So, you know, and ultimately, I think.

Tommy [00:59:18]:
In the moment, in the moment, the means that you are willing to, like, give to that desire are not enough to push you.

Eldar [00:59:28]:
That's right.

Mike [00:59:30]:
Desire, yes. It's not worth.

Tommy [00:59:33]:
That's why it doesn't matter.

Mike [00:59:34]:
You can afford provide enough.

Tommy [00:59:35]:
You can replace that with 20 or 40 or 100 desires. It's all necessarily on how, in the moment, that desire plays out.

Mike [00:59:42]:
Yeah.

Tommy [00:59:42]:
So that desire might even be met with a lesser, less expensive trip and in a completely different circumstance and totally make you want to decide between, you know, the two, like, take the better trip or the lesser trip. And that still, like, amounts to, like, a number of desires to take this fall, the following trip or the less expensive trip, or, like, take the trip and not go on the vacation with friends or something. You know what I mean?

Mike [01:00:10]:
Yeah.

Tommy [01:00:10]:
Um, but, like, I have to say, if that desire sort of is strong enough, then you might want to understand why.

Eldar [01:00:20]:
Why.

Mike [01:00:20]:
Why that's important, because you have to actually understand why do you think that desire is a value proposition versus what you have? And I think that's when you discover yourself and discover maybe things that I would say it's not flood logic, but it's more like beliefs that no longer that you believe in now, but they're so programmed into you from, you know, like, for me at least, certain desires that I have, they're programmed into me from a previous kind of lifestyle that I led. I don't think about them. So now I have to think about, like, hey, does this desire line up with the character that I am now, the life that I'm trying to live going forward, you know, because they're very tricky. They move very fast and move very silently and subtly.

Tommy [01:01:06]:
Questions?

Mike [01:01:07]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They move and they move in the background.

Tommy [01:01:10]:
Like, does it align with my character? And then if my characters, you know.

Eldar [01:01:14]:
Character takes awareness and slowing down and being in a moment.

Mike [01:01:18]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:01:18]:
If you go and you combine our motherfucker together, you can't, you won't be able to be wrong. Bro, the God inside of you won't allow you to be misstep. Yes or no?

Mike [01:01:28]:
Hundred percent.

Eldar [01:01:30]:
It's impossible, bro. Yeah. I mean, it's impossible. That's why the magic that I'm on, the magic that I'm talking about, it's in you all the time. Every motherfucker is empowered hundred percent by birth.

Mike [01:01:41]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:01:43]:
You just gotta tap into it.

Mike [01:01:45]:
Yeah. Yeah. That's the most important thing.

Eldar [01:01:48]:
Every motherfuckers.

Tommy [01:01:49]:
You know what Eldar was saying about, like, going out there and testing things? This is how I feel about, like, some certain big figures. This is, this is where I find myself sort of, like, trying to, you know, just sort of like, measure or size up with people who.

Mike [01:02:05]:
But you know what? You know what you just said? I was thinking about this yesterday. You know the reason why you have a failure to launch?

Eldar [01:02:10]:
Hmm?

Mike [01:02:10]:
Because you're not that dumb. Because part of you knows that that desire is not rooting the truth. Another part of you is still confused about. That's why you have that all the time. And I feel like I still have that battle is that all the time. There's a fight between two different people within us is like, the one person who lines up with the truth who knows? Like, yo, this is not gonna give me what I want. Where's the person who was excited and bought in some bullshit for that moment and is driving for that moment? And that's why you will battle that until you really uncover, like, what the fuck am I trying to extract from this actual thing that I'm desiring? And if you start uncovering it, you'd be like, you know what? The truth, it will win. And and I will, I will not allow the false bullshit that I bought into to win in this case.

Mike [01:03:00]:
Understand?

Tommy [01:03:01]:
Yeah. And the truth should. You're fighting in favor of you and should be strong. You know, like, I guess it should be part of your courage.

Eldar [01:03:08]:
Like, yes.

Mike [01:03:09]:
You know, yes, you you're fighting the battle. I'm fighting the battle of the consisting character. Because part of me is still not unprogrammed from the life that I used to live. And part of me, the life that I would like to live. And those two people are fighting. So until you say, you pick up that thing and examine and say, yo, why the fuck do I want? Why am I desiring to buy a bigger house? Or why am I designed to buy a fancy car? Is this going to make me happier? What is this rooted in? What's the core? What am I actually seeking in this thing? Because the buying of the house is just a result, or buying of the car or buying of a watch is a result of something that you feel that you want, but it's feeling something, but it's not. It's not the actual core of it. It's just an action to fulfill something else that you feel like.

Tommy [01:04:00]:
Time. This idea of, like, d is, like, one of your biggest followers, at least for the last few years. Like, he always looked up to Eldar and said he did things this way, but he's also trying to, like, implement a voice, let's say, that wasn't his and maybe not understanding what the foundations of that character is that he sees in you. You know what I'm. You know, I'm saying, like, I'm not. This is not to throw dirt on d, but.

Eldar [01:04:26]:
Pussy, bro, this is fine. This. The reality is, though, that's not what you're saying.

Tommy [01:04:33]:
The reality is, is that when you apply this kind of thinking, when you say in pursuit of the truth, like, you can't be wrong, and then you see that much of, like, the things that d, like, looks up to you for are rooted in reality.

Eldar [01:04:48]:
Mm hmm.

Tommy [01:04:50]:
Do you see what I'm saying?

Eldar [01:04:51]:
Like, so what you're saying sometimes, you.

Tommy [01:04:53]:
See, is completely not rooted in reality.

Eldar [01:05:00]:
Holy fuck.

Tommy [01:05:01]:
So just to take from that boss, so I got fired. Who fucking thumbed his nose at me that one day and told me I was trying to put square pegs. Totally fired you right into circle pegs.

Mike [01:05:13]:
You feel me?

Eldar [01:05:14]:
Oh, my.

Tommy [01:05:15]:
Like that. This is.

Eldar [01:05:16]:
I didn't know this was headed.

Tommy [01:05:18]:
This is unfortunately what happens because, like, maybe because of fear, anxiety, or something like that, but, like, I have. I cast no judgments on somebody who, for their own fucking reasons, wants to buy a nice house, and neither should you. If that is the truth that you need to protect for it to be real.

Mike [01:05:34]:
Yeah.

Tommy [01:05:35]:
Then you have to find a way to make it work. But I'm not saying.

Mike [01:05:38]:
Yeah, see, I don't want to. What I'm hearing we're saying is that I don't want to protect illusionary truths. I want to protect the actual truth.

Eldar [01:05:45]:
Mm hmm.

Mike [01:05:46]:
And I know that's the constant. That's not the constant battle, but that's the battle that I have sometimes done myself, the illusionary truth, which is like, oh, doing this is going to actually make me happy when, if you actually examine it, you're gonna realize it's not gonna make you happier. It has nothing rooted in it that actually equates to happiness, because I have also understood the things that do contribute to my happiness, which are genuine happiness, which don't. Are not at the expense of having to lie, to cheat, to steal, or do something negative, but actually things that are rooted in doing the right thing and being truthful and being honest and being a good person and. Yeah, all that jibber jabber.

Tommy [01:06:31]:
That's right. Like, and I want to say, like, just take it the next step. That's, that's like a weird thing.

Eldar [01:06:36]:
Dennis likes that. Take it. Take it a step further.

Mike [01:06:39]:
Take it.

Tommy [01:06:39]:
Maybe that's something he stole from me.

Eldar [01:06:41]:
You probably, like, stretch it a little.

Tommy [01:06:44]:
Bit because I don't know, actually, you know what? That is kind of judgmental. That's like. And I tend to do this. I tend to leave out the possible things that can be with people, but I do it always. I kind of also try to consider, like, what the alternative of somebody's, like, like, madness could be. And I don't, I don't, I don't like necessarily like that.

Mike [01:07:06]:
I do that.

Tommy [01:07:06]:
I do like in some, some ways to.

Eldar [01:07:09]:
That's your paranoia, Tom.

Tommy [01:07:11]:
To be conventional about things.

Eldar [01:07:12]:
You have your reasons for it.

Tommy [01:07:13]:
I tend to be unconventional about things because I like to sort of stretch, but I end up stretching the truth. See, that's.

Eldar [01:07:21]:
No, you can't stretch the truth. So truth is not stretchable, Tom.

Tommy [01:07:26]:
Well, I stress my own truth.

Eldar [01:07:28]:
Oh, there you go. Being irrational.

Tommy [01:07:31]:
Being irrational.

Eldar [01:07:32]:
Okay. Yeah.

Mike [01:07:32]:
You want to tell yourself a lot.

Eldar [01:07:34]:
I'm glad you fucking reiterated it for the.

Tommy [01:07:37]:
Because I could, like, come into a table and serve this thing and say, shit, I'm afraid I'm gonna drop this and keep being afraid until I drop it. You feel me?

Mike [01:07:45]:
I don't, but I get it.

Eldar [01:07:46]:
Mm hmm. Like, that was a terrible example. Yes, in the visual, but we have to say, we get it.

Tommy [01:07:56]:
You can't carry drinks to a table fearful that you'll drop your drinks all the time.

Eldar [01:08:05]:
Most people do, especially the bus boys are just 1st, 1st week on the job.

Tommy [01:08:09]:
But Mike's talking about failure to lunch.

Mike [01:08:12]:
Yeah, that's what I'm saying to you. And I think I experienced that, too, because I'm. Now I'm understanding it more and more. It's like, in a way, it's. I would say it's kind of like a funny thing. Maybe I will even want to say it's a protection thing, is that the good in you won't allow the bad to over, overtake it, where, like, you still have a little sense and it'll stop you from doing some kind of actions because you have enough sense to know, like, yo, need to examine this more, you know, sometimes it will help you, sometimes it won't, you know?

Eldar [01:08:44]:
Right.

Tommy [01:08:44]:
And I think that if the truth is, like, strong enough, I don't know. Because for me, it's sort of like, I believe in a truth that, like, I'm going in the right direction for me and, like, what I want to achieve.

Mike [01:09:01]:
Mm hmm.

Tommy [01:09:02]:
And, like, I just keep that in mind. I just keep in mind that going in the direction I'm going in, there's no wrong way to go. I can.

Mike [01:09:11]:
Well, there is a wrong way to go. I think the going is the.

Tommy [01:09:14]:
No, not if you know that the, like, the path isn't always clear, for instance, you know? So, yeah, I mean, I think, why stretch it? Because for me, I personally believe that, like, you're. And I'll say this for you, too. You are improving your life by engaging in self care, going to the gym, going for hikes, spending time with friends. And I think, yo, this is a truth that, like, I have to believe is. Is important, that I can't sort of deny myself the opportunity to be surrounded by great minds. Right. And, like, you know, be able to speak about something when I'm, like, struggling. Struggling.

Eldar [01:10:07]:
Yeah. But, Tom, you also get into the funks, bro. You get into the funk. And Mike is speaking on this, too. We're like, you. You're there, but you're a recluse in the moment.

Tommy [01:10:18]:
Well, that's part of my condition. There's no question about it.

Eldar [01:10:21]:
You know what I'm saying? Where you just can't talk about your condition in that moment because I. You're immersed in it, right. And it's fucking you.

Mike [01:10:28]:
Yeah, you.

Eldar [01:10:29]:
Your hands are tied, right? No. Until you find the courage to say, yo, this is what's fucking me. Let's talk about it. You know what I mean? But it takes some time.

Tommy [01:10:37]:
Yeah. Part of my condition. And I'm just saying this, like, in confidence, I guess, like, we're, you know, between you guys and me.

Mike [01:10:43]:
Yeah.

Tommy [01:10:43]:
And, you know, millions and millions.

Mike [01:10:46]:
Yeah, millions.

Tommy [01:10:48]:
Is that. Is that. I would. I would kind of, like, um. I'd kind of like, you know, just.

Eldar [01:10:59]:
1 second, somebody's knocking on the door. On Mike's door. What the fuck was that?

Tommy [01:11:05]:
I'm doing this motion in the hand. Like, I'd actually, like, sort of, like, you know, remove myself in a way, emotionally from situations, and, like, sort of. What do you call that? Like, I want to say, detract. Like, I would actually, like, get lost. In. In my thoughts, you know?

Eldar [01:11:26]:
Yeah, you guys. Yeah, yeah, of course. Yes, you were. Not.

Tommy [01:11:31]:
Because it's a real thing. Yeah.

Eldar [01:11:33]:
Well, it's a condition. Time you're ill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You wanted to be honest when I asked you, yo, what is your condition? You didn't want to say it out loud. That's fine.

Tommy [01:11:44]:
No, but. Because I'm not being treated for one now, and I'm getting better.

Eldar [01:11:47]:
Yeah. Good. No, you are, 100%, and we've seen your progress, and that's great. And I'm glad you're recognizing the difference as well. That's the most important thing. You have the self awareness of, like, to be able to judge what the fuck is going on, and that's awesome.

Tommy [01:12:00]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:12:01]:
So I think that you're almost a testament of a motherfucker that's out there who thinks that bipolar is not bipolar. I mean, it's not curable or whatever it is. You can fucking change that shit. You could. You can actually get a handle of it. You can understand it, grasp it, and then fucking control it or choose it. Let's just say that way. Right.

Mike [01:12:21]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:12:21]:
At the end, because we're all suffering to a degree through our split personalities.

Mike [01:12:26]:
Bipolar.

Eldar [01:12:27]:
You know what I'm saying? Anger.

Mike [01:12:29]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:12:29]:
Like, manic, depressed. You know, like, we all go into those episodes, bro. You know what I mean? Some people go for it longer for. For whatever reasons that they do, but you're a testament to the fact that you fucking can be better.

Mike [01:12:43]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Eldar [01:12:44]:
And that's awesome. That's awesome, bro. You know what I'm saying? Especially because you're now developing a.

Tommy [01:12:49]:
Thanks to the.

Eldar [01:12:51]:
Huh.

Tommy [01:12:51]:
So it's relevant what Mike's saying. Like, consistency of character can. For me, I'd say, like, in the. In the kind of, like, ugly truth way. Right. I'd say it's like. It's just something that, like, can be labeled and something that can be sort of understood through a system of thinking, which, unfortunately for me, has been, like, the kind of, like, thing that I've sort of fallen. I've sort of fallen into that idea somewhat.

Tommy [01:13:21]:
Like, not. It's hard for. I need more to do more thinking about this, for sure. But, you know, I've definitely subscribed to this, like, sort of, you know, weird, strange, like, belief that, you know, everything can sort of fit the pattern. You know what I mean? I understand that there's always going to be something shifting in my perceptions. There's going to be. My perception is not, like, a hundred percent. Right, right.

Tommy [01:13:51]:
You know, what I mean?

Eldar [01:13:52]:
Like, that's awesome to understand that.

Tommy [01:13:55]:
Yeah. And knowing this.

Eldar [01:13:57]:
Yes.

Tommy [01:13:57]:
Through a means of, like, facilitating a better and happier life for me. That's what I mean. That's what I'm saying. That if that goal sort of, like, just balances two positive poles, then it is really a sense of holding it up. You know what I mean? It's really a sense of, like, just getting through, knowing that you're pursuing the right thing and that many of the things that, like, trouble you, they can be sort of remedied by caring for yourself. You know what I mean? Or it's kind of. Yeah, I have to say, there are some days that I'm like. I'm like, I want to be a writer, but, like, this is such trash.

Tommy [01:14:44]:
You know?

Mike [01:14:45]:
What?

Tommy [01:14:45]:
This is such. My life is such trash. Kind of.

Eldar [01:14:48]:
What does that mean? The fuck is that? What does that being a writer have to do with your life being trash? The fuck? People read about people's lives being trash.

Tommy [01:14:58]:
Wow. I did not expect that.

Eldar [01:15:00]:
You know, like.

Tommy [01:15:02]:
Like, he cuts right through the truth. Am I right? Is that unbelievable?

Eldar [01:15:06]:
Well, that's the truth. That's why doesn't make sense. Like, you didn't add up the two for me, so, like, I'm upset about it. Like, how do you connect the two in your head? That's this fucking wrong fucking.

Mike [01:15:16]:
And, yeah, they want real shit.

Tommy [01:15:20]:
I have to say that.

Eldar [01:15:21]:
It's like, if you're a piece of shit and you have the ability to write that you're a piece of shit in a very concise way. That's fucking gold, bro.

Mike [01:15:29]:
Like, that's gold people are trying to figure out.

Eldar [01:15:32]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:15:32]:
Relating to all this. It helps them figure their shit out. Yeah.

Eldar [01:15:36]:
Like, you a piece of shit for a reason.

Mike [01:15:38]:
Yeah. You here to serve.

Eldar [01:15:40]:
You know what I'm saying? Yes.

Mike [01:15:41]:
You serve a purpose. To help other pieces of shit.

Eldar [01:15:43]:
Yes.

Mike [01:15:43]:
To come out.

Eldar [01:15:44]:
Of course the fuck is wrong. Make sure you give us fucking residual value when you get that fucking check, motherfucker.

Tommy [01:15:54]:
What do you mean? You're a piece of shit for a reason.

Eldar [01:16:00]:
Like, if you able to write, it has nothing to do. Your ability to write has nothing to do with you being a piece of shit. That's a different thing.

Tommy [01:16:10]:
Well, you know, it struggles. It's a struggle.

Eldar [01:16:13]:
You understand what I'm saying?

Mike [01:16:15]:
You're inspiring people to be honest with themselves by exposing yourself.

Eldar [01:16:19]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:16:19]:
Who you are.

Eldar [01:16:20]:
Yes.

Mike [01:16:21]:
Because there's not enough realness.

Eldar [01:16:22]:
I have the ability to write. Fucking write about it.

Mike [01:16:26]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:16:26]:
That's gold.

Mike [01:16:27]:
Yes, it is gold.

Eldar [01:16:31]:
The gold is the problem. Yes. You think the problem has to be solved. It's not. It has to be written about. If that's what your fucking means of transportation is, bro.

Tommy [01:16:42]:
This is what I'm sort of discovering, right? That, that, like, I don't know, man. Stephen King, he's this author.

Eldar [01:16:49]:
He's an idiot. Anybody who comes over here and brings a fucking author into the fucking place and can't speak for themselves, I'm just calling an idiot. Remind me this shit, yo. I'm drunk a little bit right now, but I want to be reminded of the fact that this motherfucker's mentioned somebody. I don't know who the fuck this is. Yeah, he's a fucking idiot. I got Tom. Continue.

Tommy [01:17:12]:
It was very similar to what Mike said about, like, loving work. He said that when he's, like, he has his rough times, but that when he does the work, he feels, like, incredible.

Eldar [01:17:23]:
There you go.

Tommy [01:17:28]:
Like you said.

Eldar [01:17:29]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:17:29]:
You have.

Eldar [01:17:31]:
No, that's even hot. No.

Mike [01:17:35]:
Is that the same guy?

Eldar [01:17:36]:
No, that's not, he's the guy.

Tommy [01:17:39]:
The guy who's like, behind all those, like, horror. Horror books.

Mike [01:17:42]:
Is he not that guy in the wheelchair?

Eldar [01:17:43]:
No, no.

Tommy [01:17:45]:
That's even hawking.

Mike [01:17:46]:
Okay, fine.

Tommy [01:17:49]:
Stephen King, what was that movie with?

Mike [01:17:51]:
He did the Juman's, like those scary movies. Horror show.

Tommy [01:17:55]:
Yeah, same movie. They made a book after.

Mike [01:17:57]:
So what was he spewing?

Tommy [01:17:59]:
Oh, he basically said that, like, he's, he's very happy when he writes. You know what I mean? That's kind of, he's, he, his mind is working the way it needs to be working. So I see what you're saying, actually, like, when, with regards to, like, you know, you being, like, wanting to orient yourself towards work because, well, of course.

Mike [01:18:17]:
Because that good, honest work provides for a good, honest life.

Tommy [01:18:23]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:18:23]:
Where before it was dishonest work, it was providing for a dishonest life. Now I'm happy and I feel proud that I'm doing honest, good work, doing things the right way, getting things in order, you know, doing those things that way, it provides for me. It gives me a good life. Doing good things, being honest, it gives you a good life.

Tommy [01:18:48]:
So kind of, to me, it sounds like, you know, like when you want to take the next step, you, when you cross that bridge, you, like, you'll know what to do.

Mike [01:18:55]:
I have no idea what you said. Yeah, I can agree with you.

Eldar [01:18:57]:
Yeah, tom, fine.

Tommy [01:18:58]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:18:58]:
Because I understand.

Tommy [01:19:02]:
I'm not, I'm not someone who's, I would probably have a more adequate answer if I was.

Mike [01:19:07]:
Give us the layman's answer. What? Dom?

Tommy [01:19:09]:
I worked. It's like, it's, you know, I would like, you know, if you. If I wanted a house, right. A new house or something. You know, if I had some. Some similar desires and I was in your situation, you know, it wouldn't be wrong, necessarily, to want some. Some things or even think about some things to dream about. Let's say dream about something.

Mike [01:19:32]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:19:33]:
Right.

Tommy [01:19:34]:
Like, that makes sense. It would make sense to me. Right. I don't. For me, I don't really think about that. But, you know, it's not wrong.

Mike [01:19:43]:
There's nothing wrong with having desires. I'm not saying anything about that.

Tommy [01:19:47]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:19:47]:
I'm just saying you have to value. Have a value proposition of those desires. I can desire a house that's 500,000. Yeah, 5 million.

Tommy [01:19:56]:
Right.

Mike [01:19:57]:
To have.

Tommy [01:19:58]:
To have that value proposition. Maybe it's just like, you can, like, just demote it, you know? I mean, like, you can. You can say instead of, like, like, placing some kind of, like, like, decision system on this, like, let's say where it turns out to be, like, this is not feasible, or this is, like, negative, positive or whatever, you can say this is like a future goal that I have and literally stick to it and call it that. You know what I mean?

Mike [01:20:27]:
Yeah, but I also. My, you know, philosophy is that the goal, the end goal, is not actual goal. The journey of it is. Goal is the goal to do an honest, a good journey that's rooted in the truth. So if I. If I can reach in a hunt, yours is possible.

Tommy [01:20:49]:
Right. Right. Let's say it's not within reach because.

Mike [01:20:53]:
No, it's.

Tommy [01:20:53]:
You're refusing, I guess, to see it in a way that I'm not including that it's.

Mike [01:20:58]:
I'm not excluding that it's within reach.

Tommy [01:21:00]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:21:01]:
It's just, I'm not willing to actually focus my efforts onto that.

Tommy [01:21:04]:
Do you find that Mike does this often?

Mike [01:21:06]:
He.

Tommy [01:21:06]:
He thinks that, um. Like, he says. He says that he, um. That, like, he doesn't see it in that sort of way. That, like. So I just said if. If you continue to see it. Right, like, where this thing.

Tommy [01:21:22]:
Where the thing is not in reach.

Eldar [01:21:23]:
Right.

Tommy [01:21:24]:
So maybe there are certain things that I might do, right, like that after. After I say it's. It's not within reach, um, that, like, exhibit the kind of, like, character that thinks it's not within reach. So if it was in your situation, like, what are the kinds of things that you do that keep you from getting the house that you want to have.

Mike [01:21:44]:
I don't want it to Mandela house.

Tommy [01:21:46]:
See, that's the thing. That's the thing that Mike does, right? Like, he knows that this is not gonna, like, work. Like, it's not gonna work because I've decided, like, you know, I mean, you see, I'm saying I'm not.

Mike [01:21:57]:
If I wanted to, I can buy a $10 million house, no problem. Well, I don't want to. Why do I need it? I rather have a fight.

Eldar [01:22:04]:
What is the problem? You have it with the fact that he has sure. He's certain and sure about himself.

Tommy [01:22:09]:
I don't. I don't. But I do think that, like.

Eldar [01:22:13]:
No, but you clearly saying that he's doing something. He's highly you, highlighting a particular, let's.

Tommy [01:22:17]:
Say, for me to become, like, a great filmmaker in my dreams. Right? Like, to dream about becoming a great filmmaker. Let's say I'll just come up with, like, one or two reasons why I can't and I shouldn't, because no one will watch my shit, right? And the other reason is that, I don't know, just whatever. Just some kind of. One of my crazy beliefs, right? And that might.

Eldar [01:22:42]:
Yeah, but being. Wait a second. Being a great filmmaker does not. Is not attached to anybody watching your film.

Tommy [01:22:56]:
Okay?

Eldar [01:22:57]:
You could be living in the cave. You created a film, and it's great, and nobody ever saw it. Does not. Does not take away the fact that you're a great filmmaker.

Tommy [01:23:09]:
Are you getting anything out of this for you? Like.

Eldar [01:23:11]:
No way.

Tommy [01:23:12]:
Because I want to hear it from, like.

Eldar [01:23:17]:
Yeah, I don't know how to relates to him. I'm asking you about your situation. You make an example.

Tommy [01:23:21]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:23:21]:
That this, like, it doesn't make sense to me, Tom. Like, you being a great filmmaker and nobody ever finding out does not take away from the fact that you're a great filmmaker, Tom. You just have not, like Da Vinci or whoever the fuck that motherfucker that died. Yeah, Van Gogh. Yeah.

Mike [01:23:38]:
That artist from the.

Eldar [01:23:40]:
Yeah. Van Gogh. Fucker was a nobody during his time. And all of a sudden, we fucking woke up to his fucking paintings, bro.

Mike [01:23:48]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:23:48]:
And now he's great. His shit is a million dollars. Like what?

Tommy [01:23:52]:
Yeah, right.

Eldar [01:23:54]:
But that's an example of saying that, Eldar, let's. He was a great painter. Let's say this always then, to the painting community.

Tommy [01:24:01]:
Hey, okay, so there is theoretically a filmmaker who makes films not for anybody else, but not for anybody else to even see.

Mike [01:24:10]:
Yeah. What's wrong with that?

Eldar [01:24:11]:
See, I'm saying, yeah. What's wrong?

Tommy [01:24:13]:
Are you guys fucking crazy?

Eldar [01:24:14]:
Yes, we are. What's wrong with that, Tom?

Tommy [01:24:16]:
What's wrong with. What's wrong with, like, let's say, for example, painting for nobody?

Eldar [01:24:23]:
Tell me what's wrong with it.

Mike [01:24:25]:
Why can't you do something that you love?

Tommy [01:24:26]:
Yeah, hold on. Let's add a little. Let's add a little tweak so you guys understand with the way I'm seeing.

Eldar [01:24:31]:
Okay, go ahead.

Tommy [01:24:32]:
Because you don't want people to see it. Let's say. Because you don't, you fear acceptance of what you do, right?

Eldar [01:24:40]:
Yeah. Yeah. Now you're putting external factor.

Tommy [01:24:44]:
You don't do because you don't even believe in your own shit. That's what I'm saying.

Eldar [01:24:48]:
But you say, yeah, but that's, that's. That's your problem. That's not the society's problem. That's your problem.

Tommy [01:24:53]:
Okay, so this is the kind of behaviors that I'm talking about.

Eldar [01:24:56]:
Yeah, that's your problem.

Tommy [01:24:57]:
What I'm, what I'm saying is, has.

Eldar [01:24:58]:
Nothing to do with the fact that you actually are a good fucking filmmaker. You might be a good fucking artist. It's just your dumbass hasn't launched or did anything because of the fact that you fear acceptance from society. Okay?

Tommy [01:25:10]:
So, look, you can go from not. Not even acting on it. Not even acting on your yes to having a mind to having like. Like me. I've read books on.

Eldar [01:25:19]:
Yeah.

Tommy [01:25:19]:
I've read books.

Eldar [01:25:20]:
I'm gonna tell you right now. I'm gonna tell you right now. I'm gonna empower you real quick with a statement. I personally think. I personally think that any artwork that you come out with will be profound. Okay? It's impossible for Tom as I know him, to come out with something that's gonna be incredible. How does that sit with you? I believe this. You know why I believe this? Because I know inside that you are fucking nuthen.

Eldar [01:25:53]:
You're not. So when you create something, Tom and I can't understand what the fuck you did, you can explain to me what the fuck you did, and I'm gonna be in awe.

Tommy [01:26:08]:
Are you getting anything from.

Mike [01:26:10]:
I understand exactly what it's saying. Me and you have. A lot of times when we're doing stuff, we're doing things in the moment. We're having fun, we're joking, and we're building on top of shit. I'm like, yo, we just created some crazy fucking humor.

Eldar [01:26:22]:
Yes.

Mike [01:26:22]:
And that's creative.

Eldar [01:26:23]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:26:23]:
Crazy funny shit. That's amazing. That people will be like, yo, wow, these guys are fucking like, good, hilarious. They're fucking great. Like, wow, I would fucking love to see this shit all the time. And we talked about this before, like, yo, there's a potential to create something that you're actually good at.

Eldar [01:26:39]:
It's the same phenomena, Mike. Yes. That I'm telling you about that I see an experience in you where you can apply the same thing to the people that you esteem, the girls. Yeah, it's the same phenomenon that you think that your art is not going to be bored. I'm already buying it. I'm already enjoying it. I'm not enjoying it just because I'm actually laughing at your jokes. People laugh at Mike's jokes.

Eldar [01:27:05]:
He is good at what he does. So any motherfucker in his presence that have the ability to fucking listen, so what the fuck is being said? Well, enjoy his shit. But he don't believe that, which is the crazy part. Just like you. You don't believe that. You a fucking loser.

Tommy [01:27:24]:
Hold on, hold on.

Eldar [01:27:25]:
Loser. That's what you believe about. I'm explaining.

Tommy [01:27:29]:
He plays fucking hardball, this guy. White knuckle, my man.

Eldar [01:27:32]:
Yeah, I'm explaining to you that you motherfuckers are talented.

Mike [01:27:37]:
We talked about this already. I told you. Yeah, we talked about this. That the shit that means possible.

Eldar [01:27:46]:
I don't just say shit for shit. It's impossible for a motherfucker like you to come up with something that's irrelevant or not good, cuz you are fucking not.

Mike [01:27:57]:
You're not.

Eldar [01:27:58]:
I believe that you're not. You're sick fuck.

Tommy [01:28:03]:
So this is so you will not.

Eldar [01:28:04]:
Allow anything out there. You would not allow anything out there that's below the par.

Tommy [01:28:11]:
Well, that's not necessarily true. Right now. I think. I think I want to do something I'm satisfied with within my means. So whatever that whatever, however this like comes down to, I would say that do something that you're bound yourself to the unlimitedness possibility within your means.

Eldar [01:28:26]:
You know what I'm saying? No, you don't know. Yeah, you lie to yourself. That's not within you fucking means.

Mike [01:28:31]:
You tricked yourself believing that you are limited.

Eldar [01:28:33]:
Yes.

Tommy [01:28:34]:
That I am limited.

Eldar [01:28:35]:
Yes, correct.

Tommy [01:28:39]:
Look at all the fucking shit that I bought the cameras.

Eldar [01:28:42]:
Yes. You need shit that I didn't. Idiot. Right? Yes, that's the thing. You're an idiot. You assume and you buying buy in into the Kanye west bullshit. Motherfuckers that have to be famous have to have this x, Y and z. No, motherfucker.

Tommy [01:28:57]:
And you need a fighting phone. It's taking time. Look, it's taken me like, let's say.

Eldar [01:29:02]:
If you're good, you're good.

Tommy [01:29:04]:
If you're good at this point where I'm like, I'm gonna ignore that and I'm gonna follow the path that's right for me. And I have a right to do it. It's okay. And it's. I'm gonna use a few simple tools to do it. Mainly doing things like, you know, just doing. Just actually doing things.

Eldar [01:29:22]:
I mean, but she, see, you simplify that. You're just doing. That's exactly what it is. It's just fucking doing. It has to do with a fucking. You need an XLR with a hundred megapixels black and this zoom. No, motherfucker, it's just doing.

Tommy [01:29:35]:
You see that?

Eldar [01:29:35]:
And doing means right now. Do it naked. Do it naked.

Mike [01:29:40]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:29:42]:
But you don't believe that. He's a fucking punk and a pussy. I'll take that shit and eat it and sleep with it. Live it, motherfucker.

Mike [01:29:51]:
Yeah. This is what he was talking about, being scared.

Eldar [01:29:53]:
That's right. That's right.

Mike [01:29:55]:
This is just said to me like ten minutes ago.

Tommy [01:29:59]:
If I'm not, like, aligning with that truth, I think, like every single day, then I'm not really getting any closer because.

Eldar [01:30:05]:
That's right. You know, you're just a fucking doing what I can. That's right.

Mike [01:30:09]:
That's the failure to launch.

Eldar [01:30:10]:
And you. So then you're supposed to eat the shit. You were supposed to eat shit. You're supposed to be fearful, paranoid, walking around, just coming up with fucking anxiety, nonsense and all that shit. And honestly, nobody.

Tommy [01:30:20]:
And when something throws me fucking, like, off balance, you know, there are times when I feel like, why I worked so hard for this? Why? Why am I feeling like, like this?

Eldar [01:30:31]:
Just like, that's why sometimes you need motherfuckers like us to bring you back to your fucking senses and remind you of who the fuck you are. I'm just remind you of who you are, who you actually is. I'm not promoting. No, Tom. I'm not blowing smoke up your ass. Because, you know, I've been, I've been shooting straight with you for a very long time. You're a fucking bullshitter. And I know this.

Eldar [01:30:50]:
However, you also have character, and that character is your character, Tom. I'm speaking on that character because I observed it, not because I created it. This shit ain't mine. I wasn't fucking in bed with you when you were fucking reading those fucking books or being in college and all this other shit. I wasn't next to you. You did that on your own. That's your fucking character. I'm just observing it and relaying it back to you.

Eldar [01:31:10]:
You just don't buy it.

Tommy [01:31:12]:
I know I bought it today. I think more part of it is.

Eldar [01:31:15]:
A bullshitter that I don't really appreciate, but that's with you, to you to live with, not to me.

Tommy [01:31:21]:
I see value and more in it. I see more value in it today. You know, my history of, like, learning and things like that. I do see more value in it today because it serves a purpose that today I understand. I don't have to completely, like, I don't have to be completely 100%, like, I don't have to be perfect. You know what I mean? I really don't have to, like, meet society's expectations and living in the moment.

Mike [01:31:51]:
What I need to be is yourself because so many people actually are afraid.

Tommy [01:31:55]:
To be themselves and.

Eldar [01:31:56]:
Yeah.

Tommy [01:31:56]:
And knowing, like, this is myself. I'm creative person. Yeah, yeah, you already it, bro. I'm fascinated by things, you know?

Mike [01:32:06]:
Yeah, Tom, just be it.

Eldar [01:32:08]:
You're.

Mike [01:32:08]:
You're.

Eldar [01:32:09]:
You're doing the world injustice, bro.

Mike [01:32:12]:
What?

Eldar [01:32:12]:
The world.

Mike [01:32:13]:
What?

Eldar [01:32:13]:
You doing the world injustice. Injustice by holding, by keeping yourself away from it.

Tommy [01:32:19]:
Like, I want to. Mike, I want to say, like, this kind of applies to you, you know? I mean, that's kind of what I mean. Like. Yeah, you may say, okay, if it makes you happy to say I don't need this. Right? Like, I would say, weigh it against that. Am I doing. Maybe am I doing some kind of injustice by saying no to this thing? Okay, that's kind of what I mean.

Mike [01:32:44]:
What thing? Whatever.

Eldar [01:32:49]:
He's not.

Tommy [01:32:50]:
He.

Eldar [01:32:50]:
You're the one who's saying you want to also believe. He's not saying that.

Mike [01:32:53]:
I also believe that if I wanted to man out of house, that eventually I can get it.

Eldar [01:32:57]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:32:58]:
Because of the shit that we're talking about here. Yeah, give me a ten minute.

Eldar [01:33:04]:
They will. Just to keep it talking, bro. They're gonna give it to him.

Mike [01:33:08]:
You understand?

Eldar [01:33:08]:
Just to keep them talking.

Mike [01:33:09]:
Whatever. Those like, outside, who keep them?

Eldar [01:33:12]:
Everybody, bro. Everybody. You know why? Cuz they're deprived just like your dumbass. So you come here only once a month.

Mike [01:33:19]:
You don't have to want, you know, you don't have to want anything. This is gonna be there for you, available. You keep doing what you're doing is being yourself, being happy, being true, you know?

Tommy [01:33:33]:
Right, right. I mean, for me, I really see that, like, when the time comes, I'm just gonna, you know. I know what I'm gonna have to do, I guess. What can I say? You know what I mean? I kind of been a little bit clear. I told Mike recently that, like, I'm really just trying to work on my way as, like, a creative, you know, being a writer. But it's. It's included some.

Eldar [01:34:00]:
I mean, but it takes time. Listen. Yeah, so Van Gogh became Van Gogh after he died.

Tommy [01:34:05]:
That's right, Tom.

Eldar [01:34:05]:
After you died.

Tommy [01:34:06]:
Not that I can, like, you know, say.

Eldar [01:34:08]:
We can speak about your fucking nonsense. Yeah, bro, you were the hot shit. The hottest, the hottest painter that never painted, bro. You know? Yeah, Tom, you should be the painter that never painted. Fuck that. I'm buying it. How much you want for it right now?

Tommy [01:34:24]:
$50.

Eldar [01:34:25]:
I'll give it to you right now.

Mike [01:34:27]:
50. I'll give you 50.

Eldar [01:34:28]:
Yeah. Never paint, Tom. I'll give you $50. Double that, son. You know what I mean? Go over there right now. You just collect money, bro. But, y'all, I'm a painter. But, yo, where's your painting? But, yo, I'm a painter that never painted.

Eldar [01:34:42]:
You know what I'm saying?

Mike [01:34:43]:
How much you got? Yeah, I see how much you can get. People gonna buy this shit up like crazy. Yeah, because people are nuts, bro.

Tommy [01:34:49]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:34:50]:
They love this kind of.

Eldar [01:34:57]:
I got 50 on it right now. And I'm telling you, the more you get, the more money you get, the more I'll pay for this type of painting.

Mike [01:35:06]:
He doesn't even buy it. He's not understanding, like, the thing behind it.

Eldar [01:35:11]:
Yeah.

Tommy [01:35:15]:
That in itself is an art.

Eldar [01:35:17]:
Yeah. I'm glad you recognize that. I'm glad you finally realized that. The fuck we doing here, bro.

Tommy [01:35:26]:
Yeah, I don't know.

Eldar [01:35:27]:
Good sick.

Tommy [01:35:32]:
Yeah, I don't know.

Eldar [01:35:34]:
Imagine creating a website just out blank.

Mike [01:35:39]:
This is done by Tom.

Eldar [01:35:44]:
Yeah. Yeah. Let's fucking do this, bro. All you gotta do is at the bottom by Tom. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, let motherfuckers out there in the world just how fucking Tom. Tom did this shit.

Tommy [01:35:57]:
Yeah, but, yeah. You guys realize what this conversation is, right?

Eldar [01:36:00]:
It's gold. My.

Tommy [01:36:01]:
Oh, this is the fucking dinos is the same conversation that we've been having for fucking years where I've been telling you where we fucking break.

Eldar [01:36:07]:
You ate aging Tom. Yeah.

Tommy [01:36:09]:
Brainstormed what I could have possibly should aging Tom. Am I right, Mike?

Eldar [01:36:15]:
It's the same fucking talk that I told you about setting up a fucking thing where nobody takes pictures.

Tommy [01:36:20]:
Yes. That was a great idea. I remember that.

Eldar [01:36:22]:
Yeah. That's the same shit.

Tommy [01:36:24]:
Yeah, I thought about that. You can see, like, through this, through the seasons, how everything changes for you.

Eldar [01:36:29]:
That's right. For you.

Tommy [01:36:30]:
That's creative, man. I mean, look, I swear, it's. It's been really about, like, you know, man, I could probably go on and on. This is like a whole different day, you know? But what I'm saying is, like, it's really been about, like, trying to. Trying to learn about the craft of writing, storytelling and filmmaking and, like, something that I haven't done. I haven't. I haven't done this.

Mike [01:36:58]:
But you're trying to please office a blog. But that somebody else told you put yourself in a box.

Eldar [01:37:02]:
Yes.

Mike [01:37:02]:
That somebody else told you one.

Tommy [01:37:05]:
I have a name for that box. No, theory. Theory. Yeah. Myself in the box of theory too much. And I've been relying on that, and it's been ugly.

Eldar [01:37:15]:
Yeah, but theory wasn't even created by. By you. Tom was created by somebody else.

Mike [01:37:19]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:37:19]:
Who was not been even checked.

Mike [01:37:21]:
And that's what everybody else is doing, bro. The same shit. Yes.

Eldar [01:37:24]:
I just told you we can sell your fucking blank canvases, bro.

Mike [01:37:29]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:37:29]:
And I buy it, Tom. I will buy a fucking canvas right now from you. Bring the fucking shit. Sign it by Tom. And I'm gonna put that in the fucking new office, bro. And I'll pay top dollar for that shit. You know why? Because it has a fucking meaning. And I understand exactly what that is.

Tommy [01:37:46]:
Right.

Eldar [01:37:47]:
It's called failure to launch forever.

Tommy [01:37:51]:
The name.

Eldar [01:37:52]:
The name.

Tommy [01:37:52]:
The work.

Mike [01:37:53]:
The work, yeah.

Tommy [01:37:56]:
Forever.

Mike [01:37:59]:
Yeah. It'll say billions, probably. Billion, 2020.

Eldar [01:38:04]:
Yes.

Tommy [01:38:05]:
Blank by Tom.

Mike [01:38:06]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:38:08]:
That shit fucking represents you, bro. That's who you are.

Tommy [01:38:11]:
Nothing.

Eldar [01:38:12]:
As long as you live it, bro. Just live it.

Mike [01:38:14]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:38:14]:
As soon as you fucking paint something, that's it. That shit is devalued, bro.

Mike [01:38:17]:
Yes.

Eldar [01:38:19]:
Dead. I'm burning it. I'm burning it.

Tommy [01:38:22]:
Yeah. So what's the moral here?

Eldar [01:38:28]:
You an idiot, and we're enjoying that part of you.

Mike [01:38:34]:
Yeah.

Tommy [01:38:38]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:38:39]:
So the moral is that me and Mike, a little tipsy right now. You're gonna take us to the bar next door. It's a. Friends are waiting for us there. We'll try to. Wings. What do I buy right here?

Tommy [01:38:50]:
Miller's.

Eldar [01:38:50]:
It's called Davies. Let's. Davis, we're gonna go take a shot.

Mike [01:38:55]:
You take care of us driving dads around?

Tommy [01:38:58]:
Fucking dinner.

Eldar [01:39:01]:
You're not doing dinner. Shut up. Give you nice wings, bro.

Tommy [01:39:09]:
You drink too?

Mike [01:39:10]:
Yes.

Eldar [01:39:11]:
Yo, don't weasel out of this, bro.

Tommy [01:39:12]:
You guys are fucking sleeping here, yo.

Eldar [01:39:14]:
Yeah, you rob bastard.

Mike [01:39:17]:
And we're gonna get you high, too.

Tommy [01:39:18]:
Holy.

Eldar [01:39:19]:
Oh, yeah.

Tommy [01:39:20]:
I've been fucking sitting here talking to a couple of fucking moats. Have you guys seen clockwork orange?

Mike [01:39:29]:
No.

Eldar [01:39:30]:
That's like 70 movie. No, dude.

Tommy [01:39:32]:
Have you seen it?

Eldar [01:39:32]:
No. I mean, I think so.

Tommy [01:39:34]:
That movie is fucked up.

Eldar [01:39:35]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:39:36]:
It's Jim Carrey, right?

Tommy [01:39:37]:
Absolutely nuts. No, it's, uh.

Eldar [01:39:40]:
I don't know. That's a Vietnam movie, bro.

Tommy [01:39:41]:
No, it's, uh. It's like a dystopian England movie.

Mike [01:39:46]:
Sounds familiar.

Tommy [01:39:47]:
It's pretty wild. They have a lot of Russian.

Eldar [01:39:53]:
Ah. Yo, final thoughts on this consistency of charactership. What do you guys think, Tom? I think character based on everything that Mike said, his examples and stuff like that. What is it? How is it? How do you obtain it? What are your fucking thoughts on it? Before you say anything, Tom, it is probably best for you not to say anything because they're put into character of you not painting anything. We just move forward the next.

Mike [01:40:18]:
I said, yo. I said something, yo. 05:30 p.m. yeah, we're doing the, you know, philosophy topic.

Eldar [01:40:25]:
Yes.

Mike [01:40:26]:
I said, yo. The topic is consistency, character. So according to the topic, you shouldn't show up.

Eldar [01:40:39]:
You get him the foMo, son. Wow. Yeah. I'm doing a mic drop then. Yeah. Holy shy. So, yeah, Tom passed.

Mike [01:40:47]:
Mike is the same character, what you have? Yeah. I mean, I don't even know what to say, bro. We said so much.

Eldar [01:40:58]:
We did say a lot.

Mike [01:40:59]:
Holy shit.

Tommy [01:41:01]:
So this is like a lesson, but it's important.

Mike [01:41:03]:
It's probably character is very important, but knowing your character and. And being consistent with that character.

Eldar [01:41:11]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Mike [01:41:13]:
And if you change your character, then you have to, I guess, from what I'm learning now is you have to allow time for the all parts of your character and your identity to catch up.

Eldar [01:41:23]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:41:23]:
You know, because that's kind of what I'm going through now is, like, understanding 100%.

Eldar [01:41:27]:
And I think that you done?

Mike [01:41:29]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:41:30]:
Good.

Mike [01:41:31]:
Finally.

Eldar [01:41:32]:
Yeah, you ramble. I think consistency of character. What comes to mind is peace. You know what I'm saying?

Mike [01:41:42]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:41:43]:
And whatever it is. Right. Consistent character. Even Tom's inconsistency of consistency, of his way, right away, he's been inconsistent. It brings me at least peace.

Mike [01:41:53]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:41:54]:
Like that. Tom is gonna come here, he's gonna.

Mike [01:41:57]:
Say a whole bunch of shit, make absolutely no sense.

Eldar [01:41:59]:
He's gonna make absolutely no sense. And that's it. He makes a bunch of promises to himself, to us.

Mike [01:42:05]:
Yes.

Eldar [01:42:06]:
And nothing's gonna come out of it. All right. But it brings me a certain level of peace that everything is in order.

Mike [01:42:10]:
That's. That's important.

Eldar [01:42:12]:
Right. Just like Dennis said. Right? Yo, we read the fucking shit that he want us to read.

Mike [01:42:16]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:42:17]:
We read it, and we responded the way we responded.

Mike [01:42:20]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:42:20]:
And it's level of consistent. And the things that be ourselves consider to be ourselves.

Mike [01:42:24]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:42:25]:
And I think that level, that level of consistency brings a level of peace.

Mike [01:42:28]:
To ourselves and the people, to ourselves.

Eldar [01:42:30]:
And to others, because that's what it is.

Mike [01:42:33]:
You know, what to expect.

Eldar [01:42:33]:
You know what to expect. And it's kind of like, that's who I am, and that's what it is. Um, if you. At some point, you start becoming unhappy about it, like, if Tom starts coming, say, hey, guys, actually, you know, like, I'm tired of being this guy.

Mike [01:42:46]:
Yeah. You know what I mean?

Eldar [01:42:47]:
Like, even though. Yeah, sure, whatever, whatever. Then I think then you need to, you know, dig deep and find who you actually want to be and then solidify that character.

Mike [01:42:56]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:42:57]:
And be consistent with it. And so you can, again, tap into peaceful stuff, because. Thank you, guys. You know, hopefully that, you know, that state of you being consistent with yourself, let's just say you not want to be honest, and honesty carries you through, and you keep. You keep tapping into honesty, I think it will give you peace, because honesty carries that inherent thing that makes you want to be in the moment and in peace. Because I don't think inherently you want to wish yourself bad. It's impossible. You don't wish yourself bad.

Eldar [01:43:30]:
You wish yourself good.

Mike [01:43:31]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:43:31]:
So if you've wish yourself good, you have to scratch at least at the truths of virtues, be it honesty, integrity, right. Justice, truth.

Mike [01:43:43]:
Right.

Eldar [01:43:44]:
And all the other good things that comes with. Yeah. You know, living an integral life, you know, life with integrity.

Mike [01:43:49]:
Yes.

Eldar [01:43:50]:
So because of that, I mean, let's thank God, let's just say that we'll think ourselves, since we're maybe part of him or her, that we are installed inherently with a thing that we want good for ourselves. We want to be happy.

Mike [01:44:07]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:44:07]:
And that thing alone is going to keep chipping away at wanting to solidify a character that is at peace. And if not, we'll perish and we'll try again next life.