Mike [00:00:00]:
On this week's episode, I'm gonna be competitive. I'm gonna be nasty. I'm gonna do all these things. It's like you're saying, oh, I'm competitive. I'm competitive.
Eldar [00:00:05]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:00:06]:
I think if you actually understand, you'd be like, yo, fuck. That is disgusting. It's a nasty thing. Because being competitive the way you are being competitive now, I'm not sure if it's serving you.
Eldar [00:00:13]:
A lot of times. We're putting our bets, our happiness bet on external factors.
Tommy [00:00:17]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:00:18]:
Certain things that we're valuing, believing and understanding, or we under the impression that's gonna bring us happiness. We live out that thing just to find out that it never will.
Mike [00:00:26]:
But, like, we're given this body, we're given this mind. Yeah, but where the fuck is the instruction manual? There's no instructions. We're trying to figure the. Yeah, but there's no place to reference. Everything in life is instruction manual. Right.
Eldar [00:00:35]:
I think you're a genius, Tom. I think you're a genius internally, actually. I actually believe this. And all that nonsense that you go through is torture to you.
Tommy [00:00:44]:
Yeah, that makes kind of makes sense. I guess it makes sense.
Mike [00:00:47]:
You're the guard at the prison and.
Eldar [00:00:48]:
The prisoner, and you're cool with it.
Tommy [00:00:50]:
Yeah, 100%.
Eldar [00:01:03]:
Guys, we have three topics today that we've been kind of, you know, dabbling with.
Toliy [00:01:08]:
Teetering.
Eldar [00:01:09]:
Teetering? Yes, James, if you're listening, bro, we've been teetering between these three topics. James. Number one, do our beliefs hinder our free will, or do our beliefs determine our destiny? Okay, is anybody puzzled by that question? Like, is there a question about this question, although we understand it?
Tommy [00:01:28]:
I think I get it.
Eldar [00:01:29]:
You get it. Cool. Number two is friendship. What does it mean to be in a good friendship? Or. So what constitutes a good friendship?
Tommy [00:01:38]:
I think t needs some clarification on that.
Toliy [00:01:41]:
Yeah. You know, I was just gonna ask, when do our beliefs hinder our free will? So to be clear, you're asking if our beliefs, like, prevent us from having free will or being able to practice free will. Is that what's being.
Eldar [00:01:58]:
Yeah, yeah.
Mike [00:02:00]:
Do they dictate?
Eldar [00:02:02]:
Yeah, but.
Toliy [00:02:04]:
But in that. In that statement, you are saying that free will exists, right?
Eldar [00:02:08]:
I'm saying that you have a choice. Yeah.
Tommy [00:02:10]:
That's actually a wild thing that he just asked. Like, because his. The way he asked it was like, basically, like, in a way, he.
Toliy [00:02:19]:
He.
Tommy [00:02:20]:
He. He used his question as a proof of its inexistence. You see what I'm saying?
Eldar [00:02:25]:
Yes. Okay. He pigeonholed me into something that I had no choice but to say yes.
Tommy [00:02:30]:
Yeah. Like he said. He said that the use of the word in itself supposes that it exists.
Eldar [00:02:35]:
Correct.
Tommy [00:02:36]:
Okay, if you're confused, don't worry. Hang on. We're getting there.
Toliy [00:02:39]:
Thank you so much.
Eldar [00:02:40]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. You got that? Yeah.
Toliy [00:02:43]:
Okay.
Eldar [00:02:44]:
Number two is friendship. What does it mean to be in a good friendship? What makes friendships last or break? That's pretty self explanatory. Right.
Tommy [00:02:52]:
You mean to be in a good friendship, what makes.
Eldar [00:02:53]:
Right, and that's something that you pose, Mike. Right, yeah. And maybe if you want, you know, if we do choose that topic, you can expand a little bit as to why. What. And number three is why would someone rely on external factors to achieve happiness? And is it possible to achieve happiness. Right. With external factors. Right.
Eldar [00:03:12]:
That's number three. Yeah. So I don't know, what do you guys think? The first one, I think we talked about. Yes. A lot. So we can choose anyone because we talked about Tolly stuff.
Toliy [00:03:22]:
Well, are we going like one at a time or.
Eldar [00:03:25]:
No, we can just choose one. Oh, these are the things that we're talking about. They were interesting. If you accept something else, that's also. We're open to it as well. If something's burning right now.
Toliy [00:03:36]:
Yeah, I mean. I mean, I would vote for the. The third one.
Eldar [00:03:40]:
Third one.
Mike [00:03:41]:
What's the third one?
Eldar [00:03:42]:
Why would someone rely on external factors to achieve happiness? And is it possible?
Tommy [00:03:47]:
That sounds pretty good. Kind of difficult.
Eldar [00:03:50]:
All right, cool.
Tommy [00:03:50]:
That's good.
Eldar [00:03:51]:
Okay, so majority decision, Mike. Expand on that.
Mike [00:03:56]:
Okay, so you want to reread the question.
Eldar [00:03:59]:
Yeah. Why would someone rely on external factors to achieve happiness? And is it possible, and when do people, you know, rely on external factors to achieve a certain goal or happiness?
Mike [00:04:09]:
Right. I mean, I can. I can give that the background on where the idea came about so that people put it into context.
Eldar [00:04:17]:
Sure.
Mike [00:04:17]:
It goes a lot deeper, but that was like the, I guess the birth of the idea.
Eldar [00:04:22]:
Birthday.
Mike [00:04:22]:
Birth of the idea.
Eldar [00:04:23]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:04:24]:
I was sitting watching a basketball game and I am watching my friends, I'm not participating, so I'm watching my friends play and I see that they're getting frustrated. You know, they're getting frustrated that the referees are not calling fouls, that. Where they think the fouls are deserved. You know, I obviously, I don't. I don't see if they're right or wrong, but to me that it didn't really matter at that point, I guess, whether they're right or wrong, if the referees are doing a good job or not.
Tommy [00:04:53]:
Mm hmm.
Mike [00:04:54]:
You know, and I also am myself sitting on the bench angry about what's happening here, what's transpiring, because I'm rooting for my friends to win.
Eldar [00:05:00]:
Correct.
Mike [00:05:01]:
And I feel like there's an injustice. That's how I felt. Like, yo, this is an injustice, you know? Yeah. And I. Then I started thinking further. I'm like, well, this doesn't just happen on the basketball court, you know, and we talked about a little bit more. It happens in life. There's people who are doing injustice to us.
Mike [00:05:18]:
We also do injustice to others. Potentially correct. Doing injustices to ourselves.
Eldar [00:05:22]:
Yeah, yeah.
Mike [00:05:23]:
But a lot of the times we get frustrated, we get upset, we get emotional, you know, and, you know, we never, like. You know, we're like, to me, I'm not. Like, I felt in that moment, like, I'm not. I'm not. I'm happy about this because this other thing that I cannot control, the terrible referees, who've been terrible referees for at least the past five years that I've been, you know, going, playing and watching these games. Yeah, yeah. They've been terrible. They're not gonna change.
Eldar [00:05:52]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:05:52]:
So. So here I am. It seems very stupid for myself. I felt like it was pretty stupid for me to get upset.
Eldar [00:05:58]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:05:59]:
Knowing what's gonna happen in advance. Right. But, you know, I never thought about it that way. But, like, I kind of just, like, never realized, like, hey, this is going on forever.
Eldar [00:06:09]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:06:10]:
But knowing what's going on in advance and still getting emotionally, like, compromised, let's say. Yeah, you know.
Eldar [00:06:16]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:06:17]:
In the moment. And that was just a basketball example, but there's a lot more to it, and we can get into it about. In the personal life where, you know, probably even with friendships, we can see injustices or, you know, certain kinds of behavior, 100%, you know, so.
Eldar [00:06:31]:
Hundred percent. So why would someone do that, Mike? Why would you do that?
Mike [00:06:36]:
Why did I do that?
Eldar [00:06:37]:
Why did you. Why did you go into the game knowing, like you said, I actually don't think that at that moment, you remember. Right. Why did you. Right. Relied on external factors to get you to the goal, which is, let's just say, your friends winning.
Mike [00:06:50]:
Yeah. Why did I rely on that?
Eldar [00:06:54]:
Like, why did you get into that? Like, why did you find yourself in that situation in the first place?
Mike [00:06:58]:
Well, I think partially, you know, as I think about it now, I think there's a lot of things that happen unconsciously, you know, where I didn't come in with the thought, like, hey, I'm about to go watch this game. The refs are gonna like, you know, screw us over and we're gonna lose potentially.
Eldar [00:07:13]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:07:14]:
I didn't come in to say that. I didn't approach it in a. I'm not sure what kind of manner, but. A proper manner.
Eldar [00:07:19]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:07:20]:
You know, as a. Like a intelligent kind of logical standpoint. You know, I want. I came in there. I came in like a caveman. Yeah.
Eldar [00:07:29]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:07:30]:
After many, you know, after many years of the same repeated behavior from the other side.
Eldar [00:07:35]:
So it sounds like you repeat offender.
Mike [00:07:37]:
I am a repeat offender.
Eldar [00:07:38]:
Like many people are.
Mike [00:07:39]:
Like many people are.
Eldar [00:07:40]:
So what the hell? Why?
Mike [00:07:41]:
I think it comes from a few things, probably that a lot of things are done on autopilot. We don't ever slow down enough to actually see what's actually happening. See things for the ar. I never actually sat down before, you know, that day to say, hey, you know what? These roofs are pretty bad and they're gonna continue being pretty bad.
Eldar [00:08:00]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:08:00]:
As to what I understand roughs.
Eldar [00:08:02]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:08:03]:
Should. Should I still get upset about bad refing knowing that this is 99% chance it's gonna happen?
Eldar [00:08:11]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:08:11]:
Because even if they're not bad refs, they're gonna miss things too.
Eldar [00:08:14]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:08:15]:
And that's not intentional. That even take it even deeper where they might be bad reps cuz like, you know, they don't see a call or they're wrong about a call.
Eldar [00:08:23]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:08:23]:
But then there's things that they just might not see, but it'll still might, you know, get me upset or the team. Team upset.
Eldar [00:08:28]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:08:29]:
So I think, you know, slowing down to see what's actually happening, you know, and logically looking at it helps you to, you know, helps to prevent, maybe helps to prevent the emotion from, you know, taking over.
Eldar [00:08:44]:
You still didn't answer the question.
Mike [00:08:46]:
What's the question?
Eldar [00:08:47]:
Why?
Mike [00:08:48]:
Why?
Eldar [00:08:49]:
You kind of dance around the whole thing, say like what we should do, what you should do, and you give them recommendations. You still didn't answer why.
Mike [00:08:56]:
The reason is because people are not. They don't feel empowered.
Tommy [00:09:00]:
I don't know if we've defined an external factor because there's like, okay, no.
Eldar [00:09:03]:
No games have rules, right? We have external factor. This is a particular thing and we're gonna work out of this. The external factor is the ref. Okay.
Tommy [00:09:11]:
Okay.
Eldar [00:09:12]:
He just mentioned it. It's a very good example. It's a very easy example to follow. Okay. There's a team. There's two teams they're playing and the refs are calling for one team, you know, like you said, there are certain things that completely unjust. You know, they were not correct calls. They didn't see stuff.
Eldar [00:09:26]:
And, you know, potentially the other team has won because of those calls. Okay.
Tommy [00:09:30]:
Let's say a very rough view.
Eldar [00:09:32]:
Yeah. Just. This is a very simple example.
Tommy [00:09:34]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:09:35]:
Now, the question is, why would somebody like Mike come into this game also knowing he's seen this pattern before? Why would he come and have an attachment that's soon or later not gonna get him to achieve his happiness? Right.
Mike [00:09:51]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:09:52]:
Why? I.
Mike [00:09:52]:
Well, I think it's, one is, you know, like I said, one is that it never really slowed down to look at it logically. Perspective.
Eldar [00:09:59]:
Mm hmm.
Mike [00:09:59]:
But number two, the general consensus of people is, I think, is that we're not empowered. And just, the world happens to us. Just things happen to us, bad things happen to us, you know.
Eldar [00:10:10]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:10:10]:
Oh, somebody like, you know, did this. Somebody did that. Or, you know, somebody screwed up. Like, yeah, people.
Eldar [00:10:16]:
Just sounds like a lot of times you don't want to take accountability.
Mike [00:10:19]:
Well, yeah, also.
Eldar [00:10:20]:
Yeah, a lot of times I have. You're not empowered.
Mike [00:10:22]:
You can't take accountability.
Eldar [00:10:23]:
Sometimes it's clear injustice that's happening 100%.
Mike [00:10:26]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:10:26]:
But a lot of times that can also breed a certain level of, like, hey, like, I'm just gonna point the finger every time this got messed up because of this person. This person. And you constantly are just pointing fingers at external factors and saying that the reason why I'm not happy, guys, the reason why I didn't win is because of that thing. So. But why we continue to rely on fucking external factors to bring us to a place where we're happy, because we.
Mike [00:10:49]:
Were never taught that, you know, where the actual true happiness comes from.
Eldar [00:10:53]:
Mm hmm.
Mike [00:10:53]:
And. And I think it's in that lies in empowerment of yourself.
Eldar [00:10:57]:
Mm hmm.
Mike [00:10:58]:
And I think it's a very. I mean, I'm not sure if it's common for people to, you know, feel empowered and take accountability and say that, hey, you know, this is because of me or this is not because of me, and then. And then act accordingly when, you know.
Tommy [00:11:15]:
There'S that thing, like, good sportsmanship, though, right. It's like, even a few. Even if you lose, like, maybe there's, like, hope. I guess I've never been that competitive, but I still know that, like, I've run races before, so there is that kind of sense of accomplishment, I guess, in going and doing it. Maybe in the moment. It kind of sucks to, like, not perform as much as you want, but um, like when I think about games, right? Like, this is a little digression here, but you go into a game, like, with, like, I guess that sense of positivity, right, where you, like, going to compete for fun or so, like, how does that, like, stack up? I guess when you think about, like.
Eldar [00:12:05]:
Life, like, it's the same thing. If you go into the game and you want to compete, you want to be on top of the list, on top of the board and win. Right. You're doing the same stuff. However, if you throw an external variable, like a cheater in the game who can see through walls, right. You might not achieve your goal because there's a cheater who, you know, who hasn't, you know, an in on something, right. Has an upper hand in that case, because he can see through walls. He can see you before you shoot him, for example, right.
Eldar [00:12:36]:
You will never achieve your goal. You shouldn't be going after your goal, let's just say, of winning in that case scenario. So it's the same example as the reps, right. They're the external factor. The reps are not going to be played for us, so we should not rely on them. Right. So our goal should just say in that case, like, hey, don't expect a win or leave it to the refs. You know what I'm saying?
Mike [00:12:58]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:12:59]:
If you don't beat them or blow them out, you know, if it's a closed game, we're not gonna get it.
Mike [00:13:03]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:13:03]:
You know, in the case of cheating, somebody was cheating in the game. It's the same thing. You know, you wanna be, you wanna be on top of the boards. But because as a cheater, the rules of the engagements have changed a little bit and you should not have an expectation to be the number one.
Tommy [00:13:18]:
And in a scenario like that, maybe you just don't wanna play the game.
Eldar [00:13:21]:
Right.
Tommy [00:13:22]:
If it's rigged.
Eldar [00:13:24]:
Well, yeah, that could be, that could be it. Yeah. Sometimes when we, me and Mike play, for example, counter strike, and if there's a wall hacker, we clearly see it and it's clearly getting killed by him, you know, through the walls. And it's definitely not as fun, you know? And we know we have to kind of like, sit it out and wait him out for him to get kicked out in order to continue. Have fun on the, like, I'm more on the fair playing field what we know.
Toliy [00:13:48]:
But do you, do you guys think that, like, for example, like, some of these reactions are like, obviously, like, we're, we're talking about them now and we can, like, clearly see what's going on when we're not in it. Right. And, like. And talk about it of, like, what's the reality of what's happening, right. But what's happening in those moments is that I think there's a very, like, a particular moment that people are in when they're, for example, playing a sport.
Mike [00:14:19]:
You.
Eldar [00:14:19]:
You're gonna try to justify it now?
Toliy [00:14:21]:
What?
Eldar [00:14:21]:
You're gonna try to justify the behavior?
Toliy [00:14:23]:
No.
Eldar [00:14:24]:
Okay.
Toliy [00:14:25]:
No. There's a very particular moment that, like, people are in, and the reason, I guess, that they have those kinds of reactions is that, like, these more logical things of what's happening have not yet been, like, invited into those moments.
Eldar [00:14:44]:
But should. What? The question is, should they? What you're saying is that, hey, don't hold me to the standard. I'm actually in the moment. Therefore, I'm gonna be okay with pointing fingers at the external factors and. Or trying to rely on those external factors to bring me to my destination, which is winning happiness.
Toliy [00:15:02]:
No, I'm not saying that like, that's okay. I'm saying that, like, that's what's going on is that, like, an individual is in, like, a moment, and I'm very well.
Eldar [00:15:13]:
Of the moment that you, by the way.
Toliy [00:15:15]:
Yeah. Like, yeah, and, like, I mean, the feeling is always, like, a recurring feeling. Like. Like, it. Like, it's not like they bring us together before the game, both refs, and say, like, hey, guys, we're not really too, too good at this, and we're not as good as what you see on tv. There's going to be missed calls on both sides. Right. And we're going to mess a bunch of things up.
Toliy [00:15:37]:
Right? Do you guys both know that? So, like, I'm not even sure if that would fix the problem or if, like, you just need to. Need to do that independently here. Right. But.
Tommy [00:15:51]:
That'S, like, a baseline expectation, isn't it? That, you know, some calls are not going to be fair in a way, they're not going to seem fair to you?
Eldar [00:15:58]:
I think it's that. I think I agree with you. I think that should be a baseline expectations. But trust me, if you watch these games gets heated. Oh, the player. The players will get personal with these reps. Some players will curse them out and even, you know, spit at them.
Mike [00:16:13]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:16:14]:
Get kicked out of the gym.
Tommy [00:16:15]:
Oh, I remember I have one on video from that time.
Eldar [00:16:17]:
Yeah.
Tommy [00:16:18]:
Guy was throwing that Gatorade battle around.
Eldar [00:16:19]:
Yeah. Shit like that will happen where people just completely will lose their minds and control of completely everything, because their whole thing is riding on those. What you're saying is so called basic expectations.
Tommy [00:16:31]:
What was it you were saying to me yesterday, Eldar, about, like, I'm still buying into the thing? Do you remember what you were talking about? You. You asked the guys when we were sitting down for dinner, you're like, is he still buying into it? It had to do with, like, maybe, like, studying or something.
Eldar [00:16:44]:
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tommy [00:16:45]:
Buying into what? Do you remember?
Eldar [00:16:47]:
Yeah, into, like, this whole little image of you going to be a school and shit like that. Now, again, you know, like, redoing this whole thing, you know?
Tommy [00:16:52]:
Okay. I feel like that applies here, too. Like.
Eldar [00:16:55]:
Like you do the scholar.
Tommy [00:16:56]:
Maybe it's not a. Maybe it's not a game, but, like, I guess, yeah, sometimes I do. I have. Before I relied on the external factor of. And see, here's the thing. Like, now that I know that some of my beliefs are sort of, like, questionable about, like, how I appear.
Eldar [00:17:22]:
It'S.
Tommy [00:17:22]:
Kind of difficult to. I mean, I can still ask the question, like, why would I rely on external factors? Like, guess the external factor would be like. Like, students, they're like, prestige.
Eldar [00:17:35]:
You could just say prestige.
Tommy [00:17:37]:
No, no, no. It's not that. It's like, students, they.
Eldar [00:17:41]:
I don't know.
Tommy [00:17:42]:
I think that's what we were talking about. But students, they have, like, you know, like, people are sympathetic to them. So, therefore, like, you're safe if you're a student. But there's also that.
Eldar [00:17:52]:
There's image that you are going after.
Toliy [00:17:54]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:17:54]:
See, it doesn't, like, this example doesn't have to be another person. It could be an object that is you drawing happiness from, more an image that you trying to present that you think is gonna make you happy. This just example kind of came about, you know, in. Because it was in the moment.
Eldar [00:18:09]:
In the moment, yeah.
Mike [00:18:10]:
But it expands to a lot more other stuff, you know, even, like I said, even to friendship, you know?
Eldar [00:18:15]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:18:16]:
So. So do you. Do you feel that, like, these things are happening to those individuals because they're naive? Like, naive in those moments or like, what. What is happening? Because it's like.
Eldar [00:18:28]:
No, I actually think that. Not that they're naive. That's why I keep asking Mike this thing, because I want to get to the bottom of his situation, his thing, which is, I'm also suffering from it. I'm guilty of it. You know, I definitely try to tame myself when it comes to competitive, my competitive spirit and then taming my self control and trying to see things for what they are. But my attachment to also, you know, competitiveness, winning, and, you know, being the best that I could be also driving me crazy. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, but I wanted to get to the bottom of why you. Right.
Mike [00:18:57]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:18:58]:
Who seems to be, like, now you're an observer even. Right. You're not even in the thing.
Mike [00:19:01]:
Right.
Eldar [00:19:02]:
Which is a little bit of a lesser thing. Trust me. I know. I've been a fan of many different things, too. Right. But it's a little bit less. Right. Because me and told me.
Eldar [00:19:14]:
Right. And we're emotionally charged. But you also emotionally charged in charge.
Mike [00:19:18]:
Yeah, but, yeah, I mean, I was emotionally charged. One, because you're, you know, watching my friends play.
Eldar [00:19:24]:
Correct.
Mike [00:19:24]:
So there is 100% emotional. I want you guys to win.
Eldar [00:19:26]:
Correct.
Mike [00:19:27]:
But also the thing that I see is injustice. And that probably, you know, is what?
Eldar [00:19:32]:
Boiling.
Mike [00:19:32]:
Yeah. Like, saying, like, a stupid words, like, yo, this is not fair, what's happening. It's injust. But it's ultimately, it's injustice.
Eldar [00:19:39]:
So then what you're doing is. Then you are reading us. Me and Toli, we came to play number one. Yeah. Participate.
Mike [00:19:46]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:19:46]:
But we didn't just. Wait, wait. We came to win.
Tommy [00:19:49]:
Wait.
Toliy [00:19:50]:
But.
Eldar [00:19:51]:
So Mike is writing for us.
Toliy [00:19:53]:
Yes. But. But wait. Is it injustice that's happening?
Mike [00:19:57]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:19:57]:
Why?
Mike [00:19:58]:
Well, the way I look at it is those. Those refs coming to do a job that they're gonna do half assed is part of, like, injustice.
Toliy [00:20:06]:
So what do you mean by half? Like, how are they. Those refs?
Eldar [00:20:09]:
They don't know. No. Yeah. It's competency. Totally. Well, no, like, when you hire an individual to do a very specific job, to do very specific tasks, that person has to be knowledgeable of. There's plenty of times that we found out that these refs are not knowledgeable in those things.
Toliy [00:20:25]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:20:25]:
Be it even timeouts. They don't even know how many timeouts they have to call. They don't know when to stop the clock. They constantly argue. Right. So the people are not on the same page. So I think it's competency. So he's asking for.
Eldar [00:20:35]:
Right. Like, decency and competency.
Toliy [00:20:37]:
Yeah. Cause I would view. I mean, like. I mean, I definitely didn't like what was going on, and I definitely don't have on, like, what they're doing. But, like, as I'm thinking about it now, I would view injustice more like. Like, because, like, not getting calls correct is, like, part of basketball is a human factor of, like, 100% of them seeing something. Not seeing something. And their interpretation of it.
Toliy [00:21:00]:
Right.
Eldar [00:21:00]:
Agree.
Toliy [00:21:02]:
Obviously, NBA has the, like, allegedly the best referees in the world, and there's plenty of complain. That happens every single play almost.
Eldar [00:21:10]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:21:10]:
Right. So it's like, you already have the best in the world there.
Eldar [00:21:13]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:21:14]:
That are like, this is their full time job. They're like, you know, vetted everything. Right. And.
Eldar [00:21:18]:
But I think is the bar. The bar that is being set at the league, at least, is that at least do the minimum?
Mike [00:21:25]:
No, but also. Yeah, also, there was a huge disparity. The one team had 20 fouls, another had two.
Eldar [00:21:31]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mike [00:21:31]:
That is.
Eldar [00:21:32]:
It's.
Mike [00:21:33]:
That's a big part of it.
Eldar [00:21:35]:
Yeah, there's.
Mike [00:21:35]:
Clearly. There's.
Eldar [00:21:36]:
There.
Mike [00:21:37]:
And there was. Our team was getting fouled. Clearly.
Eldar [00:21:39]:
Yes. Yeah, yeah.
Mike [00:21:40]:
That's injustice. Where the ref sees one set of fouls.
Eldar [00:21:43]:
Yes.
Mike [00:21:43]:
On extreme. And then the other team, it does not.
Toliy [00:21:46]:
Any guess, like, for me, for it to be, like, proved injustice, I would need to know that those refs, for example, like, premeditated or before the game, or just like, their prerogative was to, like, intentionally. Yeah, but would you say more for them?
Eldar [00:22:03]:
Would you not say it would be naive for you not to. Not to think that certain reps of what's his name, favorite players or with others.
Toliy [00:22:10]:
100%.
Eldar [00:22:11]:
Right.
Mike [00:22:11]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:22:12]:
That's like a good thing and yell at them or whatever it is. Right.
Mike [00:22:17]:
They're clothing with them.
Eldar [00:22:19]:
Oh, you argue it's an actual thing, you know?
Toliy [00:22:23]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cuz, like, if that was proven, for.
Eldar [00:22:26]:
Example, nobody would ever tell you would be ever be able to tell you that?
Toliy [00:22:29]:
No, but that would be, to me, clear injustice. Like, I don't know if, like, it could be considered injustice, like, of what was happening.
Tommy [00:22:39]:
I'm wondering then you have to define.
Eldar [00:22:40]:
What injustice is between you two.
Tommy [00:22:42]:
Exactly. So I'm wondering, can. Can you consider, like, a ref's behavior, like. Like a certain behavior, a specific behavior of the ref to be an external factor? Like, it's. It's the way that he approaches that specific thing or he or she, whatever, approach that specific thing. Um, and like, oh, now they're doing that and that. That's that thing. And then.
Tommy [00:23:06]:
And the thing just kind of maybe, like, gets worse. You know what I mean? Like, I guess for me, achieving happiness, right, like, something can just, like, come in, fuck up your day, but you're trying to achieve something. You're trying to do something, so. And it's like that thing's like causing you to question your own sanity, like your own. Your own. Whether you're right or you're wrong, that kind of thing. So, like, is there something going on there? Maybe like, you've, like, lost the game or something? Like, before you've won and before you've even gotten to the end? Is that. Is that how it is?
Eldar [00:23:38]:
Well, I think so. I think if we get to the bottom of what's actually going on here is that you did lose the game. You lost the game when you went to the gym and you decided to ride with your friends who bought into the attachment of winning, so you wanted them to win because you care for your friends. Right. And you have.
Tommy [00:23:54]:
That's another factor.
Eldar [00:23:56]:
So that's that. That's the external thing.
Toliy [00:23:58]:
Yeah.
Tommy [00:23:58]:
Okay, so.
Eldar [00:23:59]:
And now he has to also. Yeah. Feel the same pain and see it through the same lens that we're seeing it through. And now he's getting upset.
Toliy [00:24:07]:
Yeah, but I mean.
Tommy [00:24:10]:
So, like, when. When I used to run, they would say, run your own race. Right. Is that kind of the same? Could you say in basketball, like, you. Like, you play the best, as you can see?
Eldar [00:24:18]:
I agree with that. I agree with that. Yes. Run your own race. Yeah. Play your own game. Correct.
Toliy [00:24:22]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:24:22]:
I mean, it's easier to apply that to running. Tom, you are running by yourself pretty much. Right. Most of the time it's like long distance bullshit.
Tommy [00:24:31]:
It is. But there is like a.
Eldar [00:24:33]:
Like you have a teammates. Right. You're like. You're not passing the baton.
Tommy [00:24:36]:
Oh, well, that's the thing. In long races, like, even when you're with your. Obviously people you're competing against, the thing that's suggested to do is to actually stick with people who are with your pace, which is not something I've figured out just yet, because I really don't have a lot that. A lot of experience in, like, those races. But I think that makes sense. Like, you know what I mean? You can try and go out and be, like, the top dog, but I don't think that really works unless you have, like, some kind of dynamic understanding of the people around you, I guess. Yeah. Because if you start to lose, and it's.
Eldar [00:25:09]:
All I'm saying, is that your advice? You know, run your own race? It's like, it's a good advice. It's harder to apply on the team dynamic more so than just solo running, you know?
Tommy [00:25:18]:
Yeah. Beatrice, teammates are shit.
Eldar [00:25:21]:
Well, there you go. Right. Beat yourself.
Tommy [00:25:23]:
So did that record.
Eldar [00:25:25]:
But.
Toliy [00:25:28]:
The reality is that basketball is a team sport and part of the rules. Yeah, yeah. First of the, basketball is a team sport, so no, matter how much you want to try or do or manipulate, like as an individual. Right. It still involves other people who are, you know, automatically every, like everybody is an external factor to everybody else. Right?
Eldar [00:25:51]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:25:51]:
So that's already one thing. And then you have the referees.
Eldar [00:25:55]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:25:55]:
Right. And then you also have the people at the scores table.
Eldar [00:25:58]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:25:58]:
They are. They making mistakes on like adding points, subtracting points, not keeping timeouts properly or fouls timing. Right. So, so like, for example, basketball is a sport that's highly reliant when it comes to in general of how it plays. From like a sport standpoint, it's highly reliant on external factors where, for example, like golf or, I mean golf, I guess, like the. Or like ten. Tennis, more like solo sports. Right.
Toliy [00:26:36]:
They're much more reliant on just you as an individual and yourself because you don't have teammates, you don't have room.
Eldar [00:26:42]:
For error for yourself.
Toliy [00:26:43]:
Yeah. And tennis, for example, like they have, you know, you could challenge calls if you feel like it's wrong. But now in almost every tournament, the computer is making the calls. So it's not even that guy who's sitting on the chair. He's not even responsible anymore of like seeing calls or those people that are standing out who would be forced say, like in or out. Yeah, right. There's ready. Like, I believe the US Open is one of those tournaments where those people that stand don't even say anymore whether the calls in or out.
Toliy [00:27:16]:
The computer tracks everything else. So it's like you could get angry and frustrated, but then the computer shows on the screen and you're wrong.
Eldar [00:27:23]:
Well, that's it.
Toliy [00:27:24]:
Right.
Eldar [00:27:25]:
But I actually think that if you notice the progression of that type of where you're now relying on the computer or robot to actually tell you the truth of the matter with the replays, you will see the change in behavior in the tennis players. I almost guaranteed about that. There's not going to be no, oh, what the fuck. That's just going to be gone sooner or later. That's going to be eradicated completely. Those individuals will not ever argue or spend energy on emotional response.
Toliy [00:27:55]:
So it takes a toll on you one way or another, 100%, I'm telling.
Eldar [00:27:58]:
You, that's being eradicated.
Toliy [00:28:00]:
But oh, no, 100%. But right now it's still conditioned that there was a time where people make these calls and you're conditioned to get upset when you're convinced of otherwise. And that's why a lot of these sports like baseball and stuff like that, they don't want an umpire saying, like, strike or ball.
Eldar [00:28:17]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:28:17]:
They don't want that in the hands of a human that is prone to potential errors. They want a computer that's gonna measure to the t every single time. There's no argument. Right.
Eldar [00:28:26]:
Yeah, I agree with that.
Toliy [00:28:27]:
Right. And in basketball, again, though, is it is a team sport. And, I mean, football is the same way people is like, yo, he's holding me. He's holding me.
Eldar [00:28:36]:
Like, you don't see it? That's it.
Toliy [00:28:38]:
They don't. That's it. That. That. That needs to be assumed, that that is part of the game. But in the moment. I mean, the way. I mean, I'm definitely a serial offender of being upset.
Toliy [00:28:49]:
Right. And in the moment of what's happening is that the moment gets away from. From. From, for example, me at least. Right. And the feeling I get internally and my reaction internally is that, yes, there's an injustice happening and that, like. Yeah. Just like someone is trying to do, like, almost bad, like, against you.
Eldar [00:29:13]:
Well, yeah. Team. The other individual you mentioned the two games ago where individual was purposely holding you.
Toliy [00:29:19]:
Yes.
Eldar [00:29:20]:
Purposely doing very specific things behind the revs back. Right. As you say, that's not the refs fault at this time. Right.
Toliy [00:29:26]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:29:26]:
But it's an individual who is purposely out there to get you.
Toliy [00:29:29]:
Yes.
Eldar [00:29:30]:
You know, and what's happening to you now is. Right, you no longer are empowered. The power is stripped from you, and you feel in a certain type of way. So you crying out for help.
Toliy [00:29:38]:
Yes, but, but in. When it comes to learning the sport, and if you track back, I think, to the beginning of it.
Eldar [00:29:45]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:29:45]:
Yes. That's what's happening. But I think that when you're learning the sport and you're learning these different things, they don't get presented to you that, like, this is what's gonna happen if it's seen, for example, like, I think that you're automatically almost assumed that it is the rest responsibility to have that passion that you have and properly manage the game.
Eldar [00:30:04]:
That, again, they don't say, like, elder.
Toliy [00:30:06]:
This is a double dribble. Only they don't say that. Like, this is a double dribble. Only if the referee sees it. You get taught that, like, if you do this.
Eldar [00:30:15]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:30:15]:
It's a double dribble. So when you see somebody else doing.
Eldar [00:30:18]:
A double dribble, but you're proving the point of what we're saying.
Toliy [00:30:21]:
Yeah, no, no, no, I know. I'm not against the point. Yeah.
Eldar [00:30:24]:
The externals again. Right. Again, what's happening is that you know, that's a variable that some idiot is gonna come over here and grab your jersey every single time you do this or poke you in the stomach. Yeah. Every time you. You play.
Toliy [00:30:36]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:30:36]:
So if you haven't developed, right, an internal thing where you're gonna say, I'm gonna empower myself, and I'm gonna have an answer for every time that there is injustice, be it by the refs, by the timekeepers, or by the players, you know how to respond. He didn't know how to respond. We had to teach him. Right. And then he had to, like, oh, okay. So, okay, we playing that type of game now. I have to adjust. And if you don't adjust, what happens? Right.
Eldar [00:30:59]:
You're not empowered anymore. You have to give your power away to somebody else.
Toliy [00:31:03]:
But is there. Is there.
Eldar [00:31:04]:
And that is the problem.
Toliy [00:31:06]:
Are there scenarios where, like, you either don't want to make or you don't enjoy those, like, adjustments?
Eldar [00:31:14]:
Absolutely. Absolutely. Then you go, you. You. When they say, when it gets hot in the kitchen, you get out. You can't stand it. You get out.
Mike [00:31:21]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:31:22]:
Quit.
Toliy [00:31:22]:
Yeah. Because it's, like, what you view. Well, no, it's all you quitting, though.
Eldar [00:31:27]:
You have to quit. Yeah, absolutely. You say, hey, hey, I no longer participate in this type of thing.
Mike [00:31:32]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:31:33]:
You quit as the game is going. You say, I'm gonna remove myself. You quit that particular thing because you have a particular ethics. Right. Form of ethics that you have to. Code of ethics that you have to go by, say that I'm not willing to play because this individual was poking me in the stomach and the ref can't see it.
Toliy [00:31:51]:
Right.
Tommy [00:31:51]:
If you know, you're already playing a losing game in a way and it's.
Eldar [00:31:54]:
Hurting, you don't want to adjust and you quit yourself from this.
Toliy [00:32:00]:
Are you viewing that as, like, a bad thing? That that. Is that viewed as a bad thing?
Eldar [00:32:05]:
I personally think, especially applying competitive nature. Yeah. I think that's. You given up.
Mike [00:32:13]:
You're allowing the injustice to prevail.
Eldar [00:32:15]:
Correct. You're allowing. Right. The injustice that's being done to you to win you over. Like. Like, to, like y'all. Like, that's it. Like, there's nothing you can do about it.
Eldar [00:32:23]:
And that's. And that, I think, is crazy.
Tommy [00:32:25]:
I don't think there's either, like, a label on. On tolerance, either. So, like, it might just be that the ref makes his first call and you, like, you've had enough, or it might be like, the ref's 12th call and you've had enough. You know?
Mike [00:32:37]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:32:38]:
Yeah. It could be one thing, bro. We had a weird situation where, you know, the ref missed a call. It was because he was behind the player. He didn't see that the ball actually hit against his leg. He didn't call the kickball, and the guy just fucking blew up. And it was the first minute or second minute of the game. Like, the person just went berserk, bro.
Eldar [00:32:55]:
He got kicked out of the gym. They removed him. You understand? So it does the first call. So, like, imagine how he is, how not empowered he is as individual.
Tommy [00:33:08]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:33:08]:
That. How much attachment that he has towards this thing, just to say that this is gonna ruin his life completely. And now he's actually banned from the gym, so.
Toliy [00:33:17]:
But you're saying, like, when it comes to, like, the external factors, there's no external factors that could ruin, for example, like, your fun from the game.
Mike [00:33:29]:
Me?
Toliy [00:33:29]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:33:30]:
Are you crazy? Ruined my fun last game. You think I was happy with what transpired? Did you see a happiness on my face?
Toliy [00:33:39]:
No, but I'm saying is that, like. Like, I came to win.
Eldar [00:33:43]:
Totally.
Toliy [00:33:43]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:33:44]:
I am bit by the same bug you are, bro.
Toliy [00:33:46]:
Mm hmm.
Eldar [00:33:46]:
I'm competitive nature, and I come to win.
Toliy [00:33:48]:
Yeah. 100%.
Eldar [00:33:50]:
You know what I'm saying? And I put it out there, bro. I'll put it out there.
Toliy [00:33:54]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:33:54]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:33:54]:
I mean, but Mike.
Eldar [00:33:56]:
Mike posed that question to me and actually helped me. Mike, the fact that you were posing that question in such a way. Because I was gonna get there myself slowly. You know, first I'm bombed, you know, and then I get over it. Whatever, whatever. After I replace certain things, and then I start seeing it for what it is. But I'd like to carry that into the game more and more. And I've been trying to do that, you know, but it's still hard.
Toliy [00:34:16]:
So do you think that competition taints that? Like, this competition inherently taint those things?
Eldar [00:34:25]:
Competition makes it harder. It's harder. It enhances it for you to be.
Toliy [00:34:30]:
More on point, because when you come in, for example, to learn the sport or to learn something. Right. I would say that you probably learn it from, like, more of, like, a pure standpoint of, like, okay, like, that's a travel. Like, you can't do that.
Eldar [00:34:42]:
Sure.
Toliy [00:34:42]:
That's a foul. This, this and that, but, yeah, but if you.
Eldar [00:34:47]:
Yeah, the only reason why you get there is because you attach the winning and losing part. Somebody gotta win, some gotta lose.
Toliy [00:34:54]:
Well, no, I don't think, like, necessarily went, like, like, attached that. Exactly. Like, I mean, the outcome.
Eldar [00:35:01]:
Right. Well, what's the outcome of the game?
Toliy [00:35:02]:
No, I'm extremely more than you compared, like, competitive, right? Extremely. But if it's a game where, like, I know. I don't know. It's a back and forth game. And, like, that team is, like, they. Like, they clearly demonstrate that, like, their skills are better and their ability to play together as a team is better.
Eldar [00:35:21]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:35:21]:
And we lose. Right. Like, that, to me, is. It's still more fun, for example, than, like, I don't know, if we beat some team who sucks by, like, 30.
Eldar [00:35:32]:
Yeah, no, I don't get that.
Toliy [00:35:33]:
Right. Like. Like, yeah, like, I don't mind, like, losing.
Eldar [00:35:36]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:35:37]:
In general, but. But no, actually, I mean, I do mind a losing, but I don't mind losing when, like, you clearly get beat. Like, you're in their faces. Like, you're right there. They're just making it. Like, you. You have to, I mean, I don't know, try to get better or figure out better strategies, but that night or that day, they played better than you. Like, nope, no problem.
Eldar [00:35:58]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:35:59]:
I definitely get extremely frustrated when I don't feel that that is happening, but I feel like, again, these external factors are happening. It.
Eldar [00:36:09]:
If your understanding or your belief, what's his name is attached to incorrect reality, you will always feel suffering, bro.
Toliy [00:36:19]:
Yes. Well, like, it sounds like I came.
Eldar [00:36:22]:
In there not knowing that you had cinder blocks on your feet.
Toliy [00:36:25]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:36:26]:
I didn't know that. Every time I pass on the ball, he's gonna have a triangle in his hands. You know what I'm saying? I didn't know that.
Toliy [00:36:32]:
Yeah, but that also did not happen, like, right away. That that was, like, a development.
Eldar [00:36:39]:
Like, it doesn't matter.
Toliy [00:36:41]:
The gecko.
Eldar [00:36:41]:
No, no, it doesn't matter. What I'm saying? Is that what I'm saying? I'm explaining to you that just, like, you have certain expectations of other players. Yeah. In the game, I have certain expectation as well.
Mike [00:36:51]:
Mm hmm.
Eldar [00:36:52]:
You know what I'm saying? Not knowing what is actually going on. So me subjecting you to, like, okay, cool. Like, I know this is totally. Actually, this wasn't totally at that time, for example, because he's either tired, whatever, legs not working, hurt his back, whatever it is. So if I'm not privy to our information, I'm still working out of the fact that I know what's possible or what can be done based on that information. These are bombs, and we're gonna run circles around them. You know what I'm saying?
Toliy [00:37:17]:
Yeah, but. But there are, like. Like, what you're bringing up as example across the board from all kinds of individuals, like, a bunch of factors that can contribute towards, like, it being successful or not. Right. Well, 100.
Eldar [00:37:31]:
That's what I'm saying, though.
Toliy [00:37:32]:
Like, whatever that your expectations are that. That you're thinking of, like, those other external factors needed to be considered. Right. Like, for you to have a. Yeah, yeah.
Eldar [00:37:44]:
100%. But I'm just giving you an example of one of the examples that is holding you away from actually the outcome that is in your head.
Toliy [00:37:52]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:37:53]:
You know, so if you. If you're pushing for one thing and a gender in your head.
Toliy [00:37:57]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:37:57]:
But the reality is not that you will always get disappointed.
Toliy [00:38:00]:
Well, that. That's what I'm saying.
Eldar [00:38:02]:
You always lose internally. Yeah.
Toliy [00:38:04]:
In a team sport like this, there are lots of. Lots of different variables and lots of different external.
Eldar [00:38:11]:
The problem is. The problem is, though. The problem is, though, you come out. Out of it, what? Confused what happened. Mm hmm. Frustrated.
Mike [00:38:20]:
Mm hmm.
Eldar [00:38:21]:
Could be upset. Could be angry, could be depressed. You know what I'm saying?
Mike [00:38:28]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:38:28]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:38:29]:
And then you could potentially write skew. Reality is to say, like, what actually happened, and you might start making things up.
Toliy [00:38:36]:
You know what I mean? That would be bad. It sounds like to me is that.
Eldar [00:38:40]:
Like, a lot of people do this.
Toliy [00:38:42]:
Yeah. I mean, it sounds like to me, is that when it pertains to basketball, like, we as a collective, I would say, probably need to relook and re examine the whole sport.
Eldar [00:38:54]:
No, no, I disagree with that completely.
Toliy [00:38:56]:
Why?
Eldar [00:38:57]:
I don't. Because you're asking for too much.
Mike [00:39:00]:
There's no. Yeah. What you're asking for. You guys talk.
Eldar [00:39:03]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:39:03]:
And the narrative that I'm hearing from you guys, like, is what you're saying.
Eldar [00:39:06]:
Is, you know, you're not empowering me with that.
Tommy [00:39:08]:
Well, let's hear.
Toliy [00:39:09]:
What do you want?
Eldar [00:39:10]:
Because you're asking, like, we as individual. Everybody has to be, like, everybody has to be collectively. What's his name? Uh. Reevaluate something.
Toliy [00:39:18]:
No, no, no. That's not what I'm saying at all. I'm saying that, like, if I'm saying, I'm assuming that we have an interest to. To live in reality and, like, not get those feelings that you're talking about. Right.
Eldar [00:39:31]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:39:31]:
I'm saying in order to get. Okay, not we as a collective, any individuals.
Eldar [00:39:35]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:39:35]:
That want to play the game and with no knowing this information and enjoy their time more, you have to get, like, it sounds like those individuals are under the wrong impression of, like, what happens in the game and how it works. Right.
Tommy [00:39:56]:
I think he wants to analyze it because games are, in fact, structured and built in maybe ways that life can't be in. Like, weren't you, like, referring a little bit to how that made you think about how this happens and injustices occur?
Toliy [00:40:11]:
No, I'm saying is that Eldar was saying that he left the game, you know, feeling this feeling this, feeling that. And then, obviously, afterwards, he realized of, like, what was happening. I'm saying is that, like, the remedy here, to not, like, realize afterwards, but to live the correct reality of what's happening is to have a better understanding of these different things. No.
Eldar [00:40:35]:
The thing is, you gotta understand before the game. You know, I set myself up.
Toliy [00:40:41]:
You know, that's the whole point.
Eldar [00:40:44]:
The whole point. No, that's not what I'm trying to do, bro. I'm trying to set myself.
Toliy [00:40:48]:
That's what I'm saying.
Eldar [00:40:48]:
Cool.
Toliy [00:40:49]:
And for you to understand yourself.
Eldar [00:40:50]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:40:51]:
Right.
Eldar [00:40:51]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:40:51]:
You would need to have a clearer picture of seeing reality and understand.
Eldar [00:40:55]:
Correct.
Toliy [00:40:56]:
Of what's going on.
Eldar [00:40:57]:
Correct.
Toliy [00:40:57]:
So that you don't have those kinds of reactions.
Eldar [00:40:59]:
Correct.
Toliy [00:41:00]:
That's what I was saying. Is that, like, if we want to play that kind of game.
Eldar [00:41:04]:
Correct.
Toliy [00:41:04]:
For example, we as a collective.
Eldar [00:41:06]:
Not.
Toliy [00:41:06]:
Not like, we have to understand each other. Yeah, I'm saying that we, as a collective, would need to invest in doing that, so that. No, we are.
Tommy [00:41:13]:
Well, that's like saying, like, you have to be responsible for Eldar.
Toliy [00:41:17]:
No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that anybody that chooses that wants to have a good time during the game.
Eldar [00:41:23]:
Independently.
Toliy [00:41:23]:
Independently. No, I'm saying is that because we all agree that this is what we're suffering with.
Eldar [00:41:28]:
Oh, if a whole team agrees with it.
Toliy [00:41:30]:
No, I'm saying that me, you, and mike agree, right? Well, he doesn't play basketball.
Eldar [00:41:35]:
We want to translate this real life.
Toliy [00:41:37]:
No, I'm saying, I'm saying it in this particular case. If me, you, and mike agree that this is what's happening to us.
Eldar [00:41:43]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:41:44]:
And these are the frustrations that are happening. We need to invest the time if we want to make a change for ourselves.
Eldar [00:41:50]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:41:51]:
Right. To understand the scope of what's happening, what you're getting yourself into, and to re evaluate your attachments to begin with so that you can remove this suffering or this unneeded frustration. Yes, because that's all I'm saying.
Eldar [00:42:08]:
Yeah. Because what's happening is a lot of times, and we only attach ourselves to the. To the winning as being of the success that we're looking for. Where that is far from what's actually should be valued. And there's plenty of things, at least in my mind, that I can name. That's what I can value, you know what I'm saying? And still feel like a winner. Like, just like you made an example about, you can have a competitive game, you can lose, but you can still feel like a winner. Mm hmm.
Eldar [00:42:32]:
You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. So, Mike, sorry we cut you off.
Mike [00:42:37]:
Yeah, I would. My thing. I was losing you guys. And narrative that I heard, you know, and I think we spoke about this, too. Is that because there's competition, right? That's like the cop out. Like, oh, it's competition. So anything goes.
Eldar [00:42:52]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:42:52]:
You know, I agree.
Eldar [00:42:54]:
It's an excuse.
Mike [00:42:54]:
It's an excuse. Now, the thing. The thing is, I'm like, my thing is you're trying to live an examined life outside of basketball, if that's what you're trying to do.
Eldar [00:43:03]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:43:03]:
Why do you say, you know, I'm gonna shut that off and I'm gonna go play basketball in a primitive way. I'm gonna be competitive. I'm gonna be nasty. I'm gonna do all these things. Why, like, why is that a. You know, why was that a choice or why. Maybe it wasn't a conscious choice.
Eldar [00:43:19]:
Yeah, but it's a choice.
Mike [00:43:20]:
That's being.
Eldar [00:43:21]:
That's why I was asking that.
Mike [00:43:22]:
Why given. Why.
Eldar [00:43:23]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:43:23]:
It's not. It's never been examined, and it's never been examined. And your idea is, like, you're saying, oh, I'm competitive. I'm competitive.
Eldar [00:43:29]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:43:30]:
I think if you actually understand, you'd be like, yo, fuck, that's disgusting. Like, yeah, it's a nasty thing. Because being competitive the way you are being competitive now.
Eldar [00:43:37]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:43:37]:
I'm not sure if it's serving you. You know?
Eldar [00:43:39]:
I agree with you. No, that is exactly where we headed. That is exactly where we had it, Eldar.
Tommy [00:43:45]:
I'm thinking, like, maybe it's also because we don't really ask why.
Eldar [00:43:49]:
Well, that's what he just said.
Tommy [00:43:50]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:43:50]:
Hundred percent. Why. Why are we going there?
Toliy [00:43:54]:
That you're hearing us say? Yeah, well, how.
Tommy [00:43:57]:
I think, in hindsight, we're saying.
Eldar [00:43:59]:
We're saying that. We keep saying the same thing over and over. That's why he's deducing it. We're competitive. We come to win. Yeah.
Mike [00:44:05]:
You know, we're not saying we're competitive or competitive.
Eldar [00:44:07]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:44:07]:
You guys been saying, yeah. Always been saying, no, but we're not.
Toliy [00:44:10]:
Saying that we're competitive and that we want to turn. Turn off. Like.
Eldar [00:44:14]:
Like you don't say, that's exactly what's happening, bro. That's exactly what's happening.
Toliy [00:44:19]:
No, but I understand. How are we saying that?
Mike [00:44:21]:
Like, how you guys are verbally saying.
Eldar [00:44:23]:
That you're very competitive, and then we're. With our actions. Confirming it, bro.
Mike [00:44:29]:
Confirm you. I can. You can.
Eldar [00:44:30]:
Fucking idiots, bro. We're dumbasses, bro.
Toliy [00:44:33]:
No, I know, but we're not saying that, like, this is what we want to happen. No.
Eldar [00:44:41]:
Yeah, sure. I mean, of course we want a better fucking, bro. Whether the truth of the matter is we're fucking. We're done.
Tommy [00:44:47]:
Detached.
Toliy [00:44:48]:
No, I know, but, like, we're trying. We're obviously identifying a problem and trying not to. Yeah, no, but I'm saying is that we're obviously identifying a problem and trying not to be dumb. No, yeah, no, I know, but I'll.
Mike [00:45:02]:
See you tomorrow morning on the chords, rob. No, see, what I think you know.
Toliy [00:45:06]:
But you're saying that this is the narrative that you're hearing. Like, I'm not understanding that.
Tommy [00:45:11]:
Well, for instance.
Toliy [00:45:16]:
I'm not sitting here saying that, like, hey. Like, I'm competitive, and that's an excuse for me to be a jackass. Like that.
Mike [00:45:23]:
You don't have to say it.
Toliy [00:45:24]:
No, but how is that being, like, told, like, who's telling you that? Like, this is what we want to happen or, like, that's a valid.
Mike [00:45:32]:
Nobody needs to tell me if I see a consistent behavior and the consistent speech.
Toliy [00:45:36]:
You're not talking about here. You're talking about.
Mike [00:45:38]:
We're definitely not possible right now.
Eldar [00:45:40]:
Right now. Yeah.
Toliy [00:45:40]:
No, I thought you were saying. Based on how we're talking to about this.
Eldar [00:45:43]:
No, no, no. He is. She's saying that you guys are saying this, and then the results are the results.
Toliy [00:45:48]:
Oh, okay. I thought you're saying that right now. We're talking about that like, we're competitive, and that. That's our excuse for, for example, being like. Like, being a jackass.
Mike [00:45:58]:
Yeah, that's what I am saying.
Toliy [00:45:59]:
Yeah, you see? He's saying.
Tommy [00:46:00]:
Okay, I think it makes.
Mike [00:46:01]:
Right now, though, you're not right now, man.
Eldar [00:46:03]:
We justify it. We're saying it now. We understand who we are as competitors, and therefore, we translate that energy, and then we have these fucking flare ups.
Toliy [00:46:12]:
When we're playing that.
Eldar [00:46:13]:
Correct.
Mike [00:46:13]:
Well, yeah, we're not playing bouts.
Toliy [00:46:15]:
No, I know, but I thought you were saying, like, you phrased. I was like, based. Based on what I'm hearing right now. Like, you guys are saying, like, this is what what you're doing.
Eldar [00:46:26]:
And we are. This is exactly what we're doing. Question is, with our actions, we justify it now so we can do it later through actions.
Toliy [00:46:34]:
How are we justifying it now?
Eldar [00:46:36]:
By saying.
Toliy [00:46:37]:
By saying what?
Eldar [00:46:38]:
We're competitive and you're okay.
Toliy [00:46:39]:
Yeah, but we're talking away. No, but we're talking about it. That's a negative thing.
Eldar [00:46:43]:
No, just started talking about it like that. We're realizing it now.
Toliy [00:46:47]:
Well, that's what I'm saying. So we're not talking about it now that, like, this is what we want to do. Yeah, because we're thinking about it right now.
Tommy [00:46:53]:
I mean, I think we see something in also Mike experiencing that and seeing that there's this injustice being committed and seeing his team bummed out, but also, like, being forced to grip with the question himself.
Mike [00:47:04]:
But I wasn't even so, like, I probably wasn't so pumped out with the team. I was more frustrated with the refs. I know our guy. Like, I know the guy. He. He always gets really upset, and I see it, and I already learned to laugh at it because, like, I know he's never gonna get a call.
Eldar [00:47:18]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:47:19]:
And I know he reacts that way. I'm more upset that the refs are continuous the same way. You know, which is. I understand. It's stupid. So I'm not even, like, I'm sad for our guys and. Yeah, but, yeah, I can't say, like, I can't say that our guys are doing a bad job roughing, because that was the factor here. That was a huge factor in the game, is the refugee was really bad.
Eldar [00:47:40]:
Well, the thing is, it came to that. To that where it's like, it was razor thin.
Mike [00:47:43]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:47:43]:
And we didn't get that razor thin situation.
Mike [00:47:46]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:47:46]:
And, yeah, it felt. It felt like, oh, let's just put it on the refs kind of thing.
Toliy [00:47:49]:
No, but we're saying that the margin of fouls was not razor then.
Eldar [00:47:52]:
Right.
Toliy [00:47:52]:
There was.
Mike [00:47:53]:
No, but the game was really close.
Eldar [00:47:54]:
No game was close. Yeah, but, like, if we did a little bit of justice, we could have been fine over. You know what I mean? Yeah, but I actually think that it's good that it happened because of the.
Mike [00:48:02]:
Fact that we can. We have an accom.
Eldar [00:48:03]:
We have a conversation about it.
Mike [00:48:05]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:48:05]:
It's a very good example, again, to uncover something that's like y'all, like.
Mike [00:48:09]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:48:09]:
You know what I mean? To examine something that. I mean, I'm not. I'm not happy about it.
Toliy [00:48:13]:
I mean, if that guy wants to, like, I mean, like, obviously after the fact, if that guy wants to, like, flop like a fish and act in that kind of way and he's okay with, like.
Eldar [00:48:21]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:48:22]:
Like, if that brings in the fulfillment he's looking for, if he's even thinking about it in that way.
Eldar [00:48:26]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:48:27]:
Then God blessed I.
Mike [00:48:28]:
But you also probably, like, in that guy's way, he probably has a dad who's even more competitive, is in that league. He, we might what kind of like Sonny he's doing to him percent, bro. That guy outside of that league, he's a nice guy.
Eldar [00:48:41]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:48:41]:
I'm not sure if he does that kind of behavior.
Eldar [00:48:43]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:48:43]:
So. Yeah, but it's very shocking to see that behavior.
Eldar [00:48:46]:
That's right.
Mike [00:48:46]:
And I think, well, I know the way his father is that over there.
Eldar [00:48:50]:
Like, you know, he tuned him in.
Mike [00:48:52]:
You know, like, he tuned him in and he's probably pushing him to be. Do these thing on things, you know, like, I mean, maybe that's what I'm saying.
Toliy [00:48:58]:
If, like, I, like, if the. If he's even thinking about it and that makes him happy. Like, you know.
Tommy [00:49:04]:
So do you think, like, into that kind of shit can really make, like, mess with your head if you tag?
Eldar [00:49:10]:
I think so. I think. No, I think if basketball especially. Okay, fine. Basketball for us, it's kind of a big thing, but we're not like athletes. We all, you know, it's not college bowlers. You know, like, some people live this. Right.
Eldar [00:49:21]:
And some people, I think, inflicted with this pain for, for long periods of.
Tommy [00:49:26]:
Time where I think you and we would take a walk or something like that and.
Eldar [00:49:30]:
Yeah, we have long lives. We have lives outside of basketball, I think. Right. So it doesn't affect.
Tommy [00:49:35]:
But do you think that people can, like, sort of concentrate all their energy on that one?
Eldar [00:49:39]:
One, yeah.
Mike [00:49:43]:
The result, their favorite teams and call things like that.
Eldar [00:49:46]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:49:47]:
When they watch sports.
Eldar [00:49:53]:
Out of this, this conversation about our basketball experience and this example that Mike brought up into the world that actually are where a lot of times we're putting our bets, our happiness bet on external factors.
Mike [00:50:05]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:50:05]:
My dad might not even want to speak to me that day if, like, if yankees lost.
Eldar [00:50:09]:
Right. Yeah.
Toliy [00:50:10]:
He's gonna, I'll call him and he'll just be like, like, you know, I'm not in the mood to talk.
Eldar [00:50:13]:
There you go.
Tommy [00:50:14]:
So how do you, like, how do you.
Eldar [00:50:17]:
Our friendships, we. Are we talking about friendship, right? Yeah, a lot of times let's talk about relationships and friendships as external factors that a lot of times we expect from people, especially friend if you put somebody in a friend zone. Right. I mean, if they're a friend.
Mike [00:50:30]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:50:30]:
Area. Right.
Mike [00:50:31]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:50:31]:
Now you have certain expectations. Yeah. Just like you uphold that same ref.
Mike [00:50:35]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:50:35]:
You know, your refeed, this. You know what I mean? Friend as well.
Mike [00:50:38]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:50:40]:
And all of a sudden, you, you don't consider the factors that this person might be going through something. Whatever, whatever, whatever. But you still want to uphold them to a particular reality because you think like, yo, this is clearly understanding how friends should behave. And the next thing you know, your friend is not your friend anymore.
Mike [00:50:56]:
Yeah. He's not being, he's not being friendly. Not being friendly.
Eldar [00:51:00]:
And it's, it's, uh, it's affecting your happiness 100%. Yeah.
Tommy [00:51:05]:
Which is so counterintuitive. Like, when you say friend, it's almost like defined, like you're around.
Eldar [00:51:09]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:51:10]:
Well, I think that was the question. Like, how do you define a good friendship?
Eldar [00:51:13]:
Like, think about today. Friendship is Tom, the expectation on you was very clear. If Tom's coming, it's a coffee for dad.
Mike [00:51:19]:
Yeah, exactly.
Eldar [00:51:21]:
You understand?
Tommy [00:51:21]:
Yeah. Cuz I play the role of like, friend, servant. That's how it works.
Eldar [00:51:25]:
Well, yeah, you are, you know, I mean, today you played it really bad.
Mike [00:51:28]:
Yeah. You know, you bring the coffee, we bring the nibbles. Yeah, you nibble the cupcake. I didn't believe.
Tommy [00:51:34]:
You're right, you're right. And that was in my mind, I gotta say.
Eldar [00:51:37]:
Coffee.
Tommy [00:51:37]:
I knew that I was coming here empty handed.
Toliy [00:51:40]:
Where's the cupcake?
Mike [00:51:42]:
15.
Toliy [00:51:44]:
Wow.
Tommy [00:51:45]:
Wait, uh, did you check?
Eldar [00:51:47]:
You got his, right? He got his.
Toliy [00:51:49]:
Yeah. Wow. Yeah.
Eldar [00:51:50]:
Good friend or not.
Toliy [00:51:51]:
I didn't consider that.
Tommy [00:51:53]:
What's that?
Eldar [00:51:53]:
You ate his cupcake, you got your. But you didn't get him the coffee.
Tommy [00:51:57]:
Yeah, I know. No, no, I gotta say. I just said that like, today, you.
Eldar [00:52:01]:
Are in more of a need on. Yeah, on my way here, you need to be nurtured.
Mike [00:52:04]:
And that's part of my friendship too. Understanding. Understand that your friend's not able to give.
Eldar [00:52:08]:
Also here, Mike is thirsty, wants a coffee because he's falling asleep and he actually peanut allergies.
Tommy [00:52:13]:
Like, I gotta.
Eldar [00:52:14]:
You go in and you, and you, you put your nose inside his box in the fridge and you eat his cupcake.
Tommy [00:52:19]:
Oh, yeah, yeah, that's how it works. I drink your slushy from all the way over here. Guys seen that movie?
Mike [00:52:28]:
No.
Tommy [00:52:28]:
So, yeah, there will be blood. Good. Yeah.
Mike [00:52:33]:
Yeah. So how do we transition it outside to the now?
Eldar [00:52:36]:
But we are. Yeah. Let's talk about relationships. Let's talk about life. And the fact that. And now we can tie that to our belief systems. Right.
Mike [00:52:43]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:52:43]:
Certain things that we're valuing believing and understanding that might. Or we under the impression that's gonna bring us happiness. We live out that thing.
Mike [00:52:53]:
Mm hmm.
Eldar [00:52:54]:
Just to find out that it never will.
Mike [00:52:56]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:52:57]:
And again, we're stripped of power, our own power. We have to point fingers and point the blame. Everybody. Everybody's to blame here. But these are not happy in the press right now.
Toliy [00:53:07]:
Do you find out? You think most people find out?
Eldar [00:53:09]:
Well, no, that. Yeah, no, they do pain and.
Toliy [00:53:13]:
But they, but they. Like how many people? Like, not like, I think an extremely, extremely small people.
Eldar [00:53:18]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:53:19]:
Like, amount of people acknowledge that. Like, this is what happened. Like, okay, for example, like, I was chasing this, I don't know, money and fame. And then you get it and then you actually see, like, okay, like, am I like.
Eldar [00:53:31]:
And that's why you go to number one. Yeah. You went for the money and fame because that was your belief system.
Toliy [00:53:35]:
Yes.
Eldar [00:53:36]:
Right. You chased it for 20 years.
Toliy [00:53:38]:
Yes.
Eldar [00:53:38]:
You became rich. You were under a spell, a very specific spell. It's a belief system for money and fame. You finally got it, and then your life is ruined. Actually, when you got it, you realize that this is not gonna make you happy. And then you're depressed.
Mike [00:53:55]:
Then you gotta continue buying it.
Toliy [00:53:56]:
No, but do you think they're like.
Eldar [00:53:58]:
Like some people do? I mean, Jim Carrey.
Toliy [00:54:00]:
No, no, no, I know. Yeah.
Eldar [00:54:01]:
But very small.
Toliy [00:54:02]:
But I'm saying that majority of the people, I think when that happens and that happiness is not reached, there's either like another thing that's desired that is automatically moved on to, or there's an external blame as to why they're like, oh, yeah.
Eldar [00:54:17]:
And then you believe system.
Toliy [00:54:18]:
When I say rich, I meant like Bugatti's and like.
Eldar [00:54:21]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:54:22]:
Like ten mansions, not just one. That's what I was talking about. So now you keep riding towards that.
Eldar [00:54:27]:
Correct.
Toliy [00:54:27]:
Then you get that and you already onto something else. So. So I think probably most people die with like, they never get that, like confronting that.
Eldar [00:54:38]:
Most don't. Don't live and examine life. Right. Well, most happening, a lot of the time they're under an illusion or very specific things that they set themselves up with. Right. And they actually. Those things actually determine their destiny.
Toliy [00:54:53]:
Well, yeah. And I think that most people don't get faced with that responsibility moment of like, hey, you told, like, if you're talking to yourself, like, you told us that we're going to be happy.
Eldar [00:55:04]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:55:04]:
Of 20 years. 30 years of grind this out. We're not. And, like, yeah, most people don't get faced with having that conversation with themselves and then admitting being wrong about it.
Eldar [00:55:15]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:55:15]:
And then surrendering to, like, okay, damn, these last 30 years, like, I was completely wrong about this. Like, I'm going to seek help to figure out, like, where did I go wrong and what do I need to do? Because, like, the, like, the reality to me of that if there's someone that was like 20 years or 30 years or something significant of their life chasing something and they were wrong about it. Right. If they were actually able to confront themselves and realize that they were wrong about this whole thing, they should not make a decision within the, like, they should not touch decision making with a ten foot pole and actually, like, advice already now.
Eldar [00:55:54]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:55:55]:
You know?
Eldar [00:55:55]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:55:55]:
You give them advice, but, like, that's not what happened. Someone's like, okay, I was wrong for the last 30 years. Let me make another decision. And, like, now, like, yeah. Like, they don't take the responsibility of being wrong.
Eldar [00:56:07]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:56:07]:
About their decision. And, like, it could be all right. Like, you don't have to, like, completely beat yourself up and be like, like, oh, my God, like, you know, like, I ruined my life and stuff like that. Like, the reality is that, like, you went on that because, like, this is what you thought and you not intentionally want to not be happy. Right. Like, you wanted to be happy.
Eldar [00:56:26]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:56:26]:
But you could also come to terms that, like, hey, clearly my ability to make decisions is not great. Let me kind of surrender to make. To doing that and see if someone else can help me make these for a potential, like, different outcome because I'm highly susceptible. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Compromise to wrong outcomes.
Eldar [00:56:46]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:56:47]:
You don't hear that. You just go to the next decision.
Eldar [00:56:50]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:56:50]:
On the next thing that you convince is gonna make you happy.
Eldar [00:56:54]:
I agree. I agree with you.
Toliy [00:56:55]:
You know, which way, which, again, if just examined from the outside, is like a funny phenomenal. Like, you were wrong for 30 years. You bought to make another choice.
Eldar [00:57:04]:
Yeah.
Toliy [00:57:04]:
Like, are you crazy?
Eldar [00:57:06]:
Yeah.
Tommy [00:57:08]:
I mean, you're.
Eldar [00:57:08]:
Why are you under the impression that you can appoint yourself. To guide yourself. Yeah, Tom.
Tommy [00:57:14]:
To appoint yourself. To guide yourself.
Toliy [00:57:16]:
Holy fuck.
Tommy [00:57:17]:
Like, you. Can you.
Eldar [00:57:18]:
Why are you under. Why are you under impression, Tom, that you can appoint yourself.
Toliy [00:57:22]:
Holy fuck.
Eldar [00:57:23]:
To guide yourself?
Tommy [00:57:24]:
Hmm. I think. I think I actually. I can tie this into the number three, directing it through number one. So, like, I think that when you. When you really have your head in something, you know, for instance, for me, right, now it's just literature. And the way it works is I'm invested in whatever it is that I'm doing at that very moment. But I also know that when I move on and I focus in, like, another area, I'm still focused, general, like, in the big picture, on that general pursuit in literature.
Tommy [00:58:09]:
So I know that I can tie in some new things and I may or may not like them. You know what I mean?
Eldar [00:58:17]:
Yeah.
Tommy [00:58:20]:
So, like, I may or may not like what I'm doing now. It may be difficult, or in the moment, I may have a like to consider whether or not, like, external factors are relevant to my happiness. But overall, I think that the happiness still comes from the big picture.
Toliy [00:58:38]:
No, but I'll ask you a very specific question.
Tommy [00:58:41]:
The answer to the question. The answer to the question comes through those moments of being invested in something.
Eldar [00:58:50]:
I don't think he wants to toy tea.
Tommy [00:58:52]:
I mean, this is your language, right?
Toliy [00:58:55]:
Question was, yes.
Tommy [00:58:56]:
He said, why do you think that you can guide yourself in a way? And I'm saying I can guide myself because I actually believe in the skills that I'm building, whether it means that I'm learning how to do, like, this specific aspect of something or that specific aspect of something, and they're completely.
Toliy [00:59:13]:
No, no, but he's asking, like, why do you believe that you are conversant enough to make a decision on what will make you happy? Right. Because, like, what makes you believe that you are a competent individual to accomplish this?
Tommy [00:59:23]:
Because there's. There's literally energy, and there's sort of.
Eldar [00:59:27]:
Like, you're gonna get to the unexplainable part, which you don't understand.
Tommy [00:59:31]:
There's literally energy, and explain, oh, God. I always registered. You took what I was gonna say after you say it, and then I turn to this idiot who I have to explain. Yeah, I was just kidding. Yeah. T the idea is, okay, so can I put in basketball terms.
Eldar [00:59:53]:
Only understands basketball.
Tommy [00:59:58]:
Let's say you're a good player, but you have very difficult. But you're missing out on 30% of your opportunities by not being able to dribble with your left. Okay. And you don't. The thing is, if you don't know how to. You don't know how to lay up, you don't know how to lay up with your left hand, let's say. Right? So you can't. You can't drive in through the left.
Tommy [01:00:22]:
So you're missing out on these opportunities. And the reason is. Is like, maybe. Let's say. Let's call it whatever it is, you just don't have the skill. And you, and to build that skill, you don't understand that it takes time. And if you understood, then you would take the time, you would build up that skill with the left hand. Hand, and you'd be more confident in being able to, like, drive the ball through the left side of the hoop.
Tommy [01:00:47]:
Right. That's kind of like, what I'm saying is you have sort of new knowledge that guides you through the left, right, or like, or with whatever skill. And the more broadly, you have skills in whatever it is that you're focused on. So it, like, it might be that you spend, like, ten to 20 hours just leaping from, like, the other foot or, see, that's stuff that, like, really starts to drive your nature on the court. That's how you start to play the game. You play the game through new structures, like ways of thinking that are just unavailable to people who don't know how. That's what I'm saying. So for me, it fills the overall goal, but, you know, it might only provide, like, a small amount.
Toliy [01:01:32]:
Okay. In a yes or no question form, do you feel that you have been successful in maintaining consistent happiness for yourself throughout your life?
Tommy [01:01:46]:
Throughout my life. Like, the big picture of my life, that's. Bro, that's like, I can't, I can't.
Eldar [01:01:53]:
Like you said.
Toliy [01:01:54]:
Yeah, Tom, pull that apart.
Tommy [01:01:55]:
Yes. I mean, the answer is generally yes. I feel like I've been overall happy. Yeah. And that's, that's key. You know what I mean? I think the key is to get out of that rut of relying on external factors. You have to realize things for what they are.
Eldar [01:02:10]:
Yeah.
Tommy [01:02:11]:
The big picture is always somewhat hidden behind what the fuck is happening right now.
Toliy [01:02:17]:
If you were wrong about things.
Eldar [01:02:23]:
Holy.
Toliy [01:02:24]:
Fuck, that's the hard part.
Tommy [01:02:26]:
Wait, but, but if you justify tomorrow that you're, you are a competitive person and you play it around, the idea that you know what your expectations are as a competitive person.
Eldar [01:02:39]:
Mm hmm.
Tommy [01:02:41]:
I don't know if it'll be that easy to be disappointed, you know, I mean, like, cuz like you said, I know tomorrow, like, you know, I mean, if I find. I actually, I might know tomorrow if I'm ready to be, like, if I'm gonna, I can make the choice tomorrow and not behave like a caveman, like a, like a primitive human being.
Eldar [01:03:02]:
Yeah, right. Yeah.
Tommy [01:03:03]:
And I don't know, I don't, I think there's no way for me to lose if I, you know, if I play that game, if I play like, tomorrow, I'm not playing as, like, a primitive human being, if that means, like, I'm not cutting. I'm not. I'm nothing cutting myself short of, like, 30 minutes of sleep. You know what I mean? I'm gonna take that extra 30 minutes because I know that I'll be that primitive human being. You start to, like, plan ahead. Is it possible to, like, get the ref out of your mind? You know? That's kind of like what I'm saying. Like, who's the ref? Maybe the ref is your own internal negative voice.
Mike [01:03:35]:
It is possible, right?
Tommy [01:03:38]:
Because, like, if you think next time the ref makes a poor call, I'm gonna think of porcupines, that's much funnier than I'm gonna think of that rad bastard who's taking out his, like. You know what I mean? Taking out his frustrations on me by making these shit calls.
Eldar [01:03:56]:
Yep. Right, exactly.
Tommy [01:03:58]:
Cause that person might as well just be a rat bastard. You never know.
Eldar [01:04:02]:
Lots of things.
Tommy [01:04:06]:
I actually have been doing this a little bit today. I feel like I was out studying a little while today. And, you know, at Starbucks, like, they make a lot of noise sometimes. Like, you know, all the pots and stuff that they're doing. And it's sort of inconsiderate to the point where it might be assumed as rude, but sometimes it's only, like, try to, like, just tap into your frustrations, your irritation. And yesterday, I was at the library. These two came and sat next to me, just chatted it up, and I realized I was sitting there frustrated, unable to, like, keep my focus, right. And I just kept letting it happen.
Tommy [01:04:41]:
And it continued and continued. I said, oh, I'm gonna be the bigger one. I'm gonna be the bigger one. I'm gonna be the bigger one. And, like. And so on, thinking that, like, my tolerance is gonna have some effect on the way of the nature of the world, right. Until I finally got up, you know, like, calmly took my shit and went. But, you know, I realized, like, what was that for? Like, I asked myself, what is that for? And then I started thinking, like, how did that throw me off? And how much did I lose as a result of that? And that's no good.
Tommy [01:05:25]:
Did I get to the bottom of it?
Eldar [01:05:26]:
Yeah.
Tommy [01:05:27]:
Yeah, I did. I did. But not until today. Not until the tragedy already struck, you know? Yeah. Because today what I realized was I still have this shit on my mind. I'm emotionally affected because of these, like, attachments to unfair, unjust people.
Eldar [01:05:47]:
Yeah. It's attachment onto the outcome you came to be in a quiet place, who's. Without questioning.
Tommy [01:05:53]:
I was questioning.
Eldar [01:05:54]:
In this quiet place, supposed to be quiet place. So anybody interrupts that, it's gonna be thing. So your attachment to the quiet place is. That is a problem.
Tommy [01:06:02]:
Hmm. Or, or people's principles, right. Attach them into like what kind of game rules.
Eldar [01:06:07]:
Yeah. You're like. Yeah, basic courtesy. Right? Basic courtesy. Like, you know.
Tommy [01:06:11]:
That's right.
Eldar [01:06:12]:
Was it different?
Tommy [01:06:14]:
Another thing is like, you know, you can go on and kind of like disagree and disagree, so. But it's like politics, you know what I mean?
Eldar [01:06:21]:
It's a.
Tommy [01:06:22]:
You're always coming to this point where you just want peace and quiet. There's a big difference with games. In real life. In that, in real life there may be no winner or loser. You know what I mean?
Eldar [01:06:33]:
Thank you.
Tommy [01:06:34]:
See what I mean? Like you, I know you may say different, but.
Eldar [01:06:38]:
No, Tom, I actually agree what you just said. Expand on that.
Tommy [01:06:42]:
See, like the basis of a game is that there's like risk and reward.
Eldar [01:06:47]:
Mm hmm.
Tommy [01:06:47]:
You're gonna win or you're gonna lose. And that's the way games are built. They are determined in a sense, because there's causation all the way up until one person wins. Yeah, something like that. Or many people win. Or whatever it is, you know, I mean, cuz there's 1st, 2nd, 3rd place, let's say, for example. Let's just say, um. Yeah, but yeah, it all gets funneled up or whatever.
Tommy [01:07:11]:
Um. But in life you could be, in a way, stepping back when your intuition is telling you I'm gonna ride this shit out until I win. You know what I mean?
Eldar [01:07:29]:
That's a sickness.
Tommy [01:07:30]:
Instead of just being gentle with your thinking, you start moving towards that sort of balance that we all hang in. You know what I mean? Like where someone's gonna lose and someone's gonna win. That kind of thing. Yeah, or maybe, maybe, yeah, you make it through your beliefs. Like I think about like, you know. Yeah, whose will supersedes, you know. I mean.
Eldar [01:07:53]:
Yeah, and that's.
Tommy [01:07:57]:
For someone seeking peace and quiet, that's. That's no good. You see what I'm saying? So, like, if you want peace and quiet and you know, Starbucks is a loud place to be, this, this place where they bang their pots and stuff, then you're doing yourself an injustice going to that environment.
Eldar [01:08:16]:
Why is it so easy, Mike?
Mike [01:08:18]:
Why so easy?
Eldar [01:08:19]:
What? Buying an external as being the thing that's gonna bring us to the promised land. Why is it so fucking easy to buy into that?
Mike [01:08:28]:
Yeah. Because it's been a pro program. No, but it's no, no, I don't I'm not sure if that's true. I'm not sure if the easiest is the thing that we've learned, therefore it's easiest, or it actually is the easiest.
Toliy [01:08:41]:
We think that it's the easiest thing.
Mike [01:08:44]:
Well, yeah, because that's what we're taught.
Eldar [01:08:46]:
Why?
Mike [01:08:46]:
Because this is what we're taught. It's easy to do things. You've been taught to do repetitive shit. No. Now, slow down. Think and understand.
Toliy [01:08:55]:
No external factors force you to never have to take responsibility or look with it. Yeah. That's just the reality.
Eldar [01:09:01]:
Yeah.
Toliy [01:09:02]:
Yeah. Always have a built in excuse for everything, you know?
Eldar [01:09:06]:
Are we are we this much of a piece of shit in general, that, um, we need external things in order to kind of keep going, keep pointing the finger externally?
Mike [01:09:19]:
Yeah. I don't want to, like, blank everybody, but we don't we just don't know any better. We're not taught any better would be.
Eldar [01:09:24]:
Nice, you being nice.
Mike [01:09:28]:
Our parents or people who taught us, they're trying to be nice to us.
Tommy [01:09:32]:
That is a problem that frustrates me a lot.
Mike [01:09:34]:
They try to let us off the hook easy.
Tommy [01:09:37]:
Like, how can I know that I am better today when I wasn't taught name better before? I mean, yeah. Like, how can I know that? Uh, the things that I know are, like, for sure. You know, for instance, like, I know I won't behave the way that I used to behave. How do I know that there's not some kind of, like, part of me that still does behave that way? Like, Mike asked this question.
Eldar [01:10:00]:
See? No, no. That's the key here. That's the whole thing. Like, the first question is, I was trying to get at that. The fact that you actually, right now, living certain things out automatically on automatic pilot. And you don't even know whether or not that is the truth of the matter that you're living out?
Toliy [01:10:17]:
Yeah. I mean, what what's happening is that if we want to, like like, if we want to translate into an example. Is that I would say that us and our actions are like a map, right? And it goes according to a key. The map key.
Eldar [01:10:33]:
Okay.
Toliy [01:10:34]:
Right. And whatever the map key says is what? Means what? Like, everything is derived from that. That key. Right.
Eldar [01:10:43]:
Okay.
Toliy [01:10:44]:
So, like, the belief is the key and everything. Yeah. Everything is derived from it.
Eldar [01:10:52]:
Yes.
Toliy [01:10:52]:
Right.
Eldar [01:10:53]:
Oh, yeah.
Toliy [01:10:53]:
And if you were, if you could, on the key. If it says that one inch on this map means 200 miles.
Eldar [01:11:00]:
Yeah.
Toliy [01:11:00]:
Right. In actuality.
Eldar [01:11:01]:
Yeah.
Toliy [01:11:02]:
This is what you're reading off it. Like, so if someone's asking you how far to go from here to here.
Eldar [01:11:06]:
Yeah.
Toliy [01:11:07]:
They're read. Like, if they're looking at your map, it's gonna say, this is how far it is. Like, it's, you know, if 200 is, you know. Right. So the only way to change how, like, you read the map is to change the key. But it's difficult to change the key. Like, the. The only way to change the keys to be aware that they're, like.
Toliy [01:11:27]:
Could be something wrong with your key.
Eldar [01:11:28]:
A good analogy. It's a little hard to follow. Good. It's a very good. And I agree, because that map will.
Toliy [01:11:34]:
Exist no matter what. Like, yeah. As you're. I mean, as long as you're alive.
Mike [01:11:37]:
I heard a yde. I heard a similar one. Mm hmm. I was listening to a podcast. It's very, I haven't finished it, but it's interesting. The guy goes, yo, where's like. And you guys know about me. I never read instructions.
Mike [01:11:48]:
Yeah, but, like, we're given this body, we're given this mind.
Eldar [01:11:50]:
Yeah.
Mike [01:11:50]:
Where the fuck is instruction manual?
Eldar [01:11:52]:
Yeah.
Mike [01:11:53]:
And that's kind of like what it is. Like, you know, there's no instructions. We're trying to figure this shit out. Yeah, but there's no place to reference. Everything in life is instruction manual, right?
Eldar [01:12:01]:
That's right.
Mike [01:12:02]:
There's a lot of things that, like, yo.
Toliy [01:12:03]:
No, but the thing, I feel like the way that certain systems and processes are in life, it is meant to have the experiencer assume that these are the instructions.
Mike [01:12:17]:
If you have kids, would you not try to give them the instruction manual of how to live a private life? Or would you prefer to get one that your parents.
Toliy [01:12:27]:
What's happening is that when you look at individual that's being born, is assumed that until five years old, for example, you're under the care of, like your parents, and you stay home. You sometimes go to some kind of childcare thing or like, whatever, right?
Eldar [01:12:40]:
Yeah.
Toliy [01:12:41]:
Once you have five, this is where you're supposed to go to. The instructions say kindergarten. This is what they say.
Eldar [01:12:47]:
Yeah.
Toliy [01:12:47]:
And then it says first grade and second grade. Right. And so on from, like, these are what the instructions are. And then throughout.
Mike [01:12:53]:
Yeah, but where are these instructions written there? These instructions been. It's like, you know the game.
Eldar [01:12:59]:
Yeah.
Mike [01:12:59]:
Where you whisper in somebody's ear and pass around a circle.
Eldar [01:13:01]:
Yeah.
Mike [01:13:02]:
What happened is this is what's happening in society is that somebody said a million years ago, like, hey, do this.
Eldar [01:13:07]:
Yeah.
Mike [01:13:07]:
And now, this shit has no correlation to what actually was said a million years ago. And I think there's, like, a thing, like a saying about it, like a philosophical kind of like, I don't know, about that actual thing where it gets lost in translation.
Eldar [01:13:20]:
Yeah.
Mike [01:13:20]:
The thing you said that five years old, whatever. He's supposed to go to childcare.
Eldar [01:13:23]:
Yeah.
Mike [01:13:24]:
Made that up.
Eldar [01:13:26]:
He's living out certain. He just mentioned certain things yesterday to us that he's still living out certain. Certain things that, you know, his ancestors believed it.
Mike [01:13:35]:
Yeah. Yeah.
Eldar [01:13:37]:
You know what I'm saying?
Mike [01:13:38]:
Mm hmm.
Tommy [01:13:43]:
Right.
Eldar [01:13:43]:
Why? Because right now he's trying to rewrite. Rewrite a different story for his children potentially. Right. Yeah. Say, yeah. Without doing this nonsense. Fuck. You know what I mean? Like, you know, okay, this is a perfect example of how that was passed down.
Mike [01:14:00]:
Yes.
Eldar [01:14:00]:
That has. That had some kind of weight maybe back then, right. That explain the world.
Mike [01:14:06]:
But the thing is, parents tell you things. Do you question those things a lot of the time?
Eldar [01:14:11]:
Well, no, we don't. That's the thing. And when we start growing up and finding out that actually, yeah. We do have a model that actually works, it has the potential to actually fucking guide us somewhere. We quickly find out that, like, your parents, fuck off. That's like. I think that's a general bro thing. Probably for most individual.
Mike [01:14:26]:
It is.
Eldar [01:14:27]:
But again, it's a very rare thing for the. For the parents and kids, I think, to have really good, you know, Bond. So they'll really vibe and stuff like that, being on the same page.
Mike [01:14:38]:
Yeah. See, I agree. I agree. But something that has never changed, probably in thousands of years, versus what the relationships are built on now and why the parents and the kids don't get along. Right. Morals, values, ethics, they haven't changed.
Eldar [01:14:56]:
Right.
Mike [01:14:56]:
They always been the same.
Eldar [01:14:57]:
Right. Correct.
Mike [01:14:58]:
Those things are forever.
Eldar [01:14:59]:
Yeah, but.
Mike [01:15:01]:
Because that's not the foundation.
Eldar [01:15:03]:
Mm hmm.
Mike [01:15:04]:
All the other stuff, like, all. You wear these kind of clothes, you can't wear this. You can't smoke. I don't know, whatever. Parents idol societal things, structures which are not necessarily rooted, truth. You can break those things down. Like, who told you got to go to kindergarten? Five.
Eldar [01:15:20]:
Yeah.
Mike [01:15:20]:
I'm gonna homeschool my kid.
Tommy [01:15:21]:
Right.
Mike [01:15:21]:
Whatever.
Eldar [01:15:22]:
Right. That's. Right.
Mike [01:15:23]:
That's the problem. That a lot of these things, they're not actually rooted in truth. And that's why there's, like, a disconnect. Like, yo, your parents say he can't do this.
Eldar [01:15:32]:
Yeah.
Mike [01:15:32]:
But Billy's mom lets him do this. I'm gonna do this too, now. That's right. Because it's like, who cares?
Toliy [01:15:38]:
That's also why I think that, like, like, I'm not sure if, like, the best thing you could do for your kids, for example, is just, like, teach them the right, like, the right, like, you know, way or, like, a form of life. Because, like, there's gonna be a lot of external factors that you're not gonna be. Be able to be present for that are not gonna help, like, influence in a bad way or good way. Those are fun things. I think that, like, the best thing that you can do is teach the ability to, like, analyze and to think and to, like, review and to let them kind of in almost in a way, make their own decisions. Because, like, if you tell them, they're like, hey, a good thing to do is this, right? And you really keep reading that, reiterating that, right. If you just tell them that with enough marketing from the outside world and enough different things, like, there's a very high chance that they could get ahead of because you actually never told them to think. You just told them what the right thing to do was.
Mike [01:16:33]:
That's right. Yeah.
Toliy [01:16:33]:
You know, and I agree. I think that, like, what one of the one, one of the bigger issues I see in this whole, like, process or, like, scenario of this is a communication and, like, physical words. Like, I guess, like, I feel like when you were saying, like, when someone said something and then it just kept going and it got, like, lost.
Eldar [01:16:55]:
Yeah.
Toliy [01:16:56]:
There was some point where there was a misinterpretation of particular words. Like, I mean, we were talking about this weeks ago. Like, what is a good friend? You know, some people. A good friend is good music together. Right. Like, this is a good friend. Like, listen to the same music together. Somehow, in some people's minds, that could be their definition of it.
Eldar [01:17:14]:
That's right.
Toliy [01:17:14]:
And I feel like. But it's one word being used, and the same guy who's using that word is also, there's a different guy. Right. Who's using it in a very extensive, for example, format with extensive circumstances and things and on virtues and stuff like that. But the same word is being used.
Eldar [01:17:31]:
Yeah.
Toliy [01:17:31]:
So it is extremely confusing to the learning mind as to, like, yeah, everybody's.
Eldar [01:17:36]:
On the same map but have different keys.
Toliy [01:17:38]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you know, one person could be being taught that, like, worrying or concern is love. Right. And the other person could be showing actual real love loving actions.
Eldar [01:17:49]:
Yeah.
Toliy [01:17:50]:
But the same word is being used. And when those two people are me. Right. They then use the same word together, not knowing that, hey, that guy's definition of that same word is different from mine. And, like. Right. And, like, going about it that way.
Eldar [01:18:06]:
Yeah.
Toliy [01:18:07]:
But, like, to me, like, that's the. An extremely, extremely confusing thing because it's also, like, when we, for example, go to play basketball, we may have, like, I don't know, either a naiveness or a belief that, for example, like, there's not gonna be people there that are gonna injure you, like, intentionally. Right? Like. Like, come on, like, that's too far. Right? Like, you kind of have that almost, like, thing of, like, that's not going to happen.
Eldar [01:18:31]:
Yeah.
Toliy [01:18:31]:
Right. But it's also like, that's kind of like your belief or your. Or like, what. What you think of, like, the scenario.
Eldar [01:18:40]:
Mm hmm.
Toliy [01:18:40]:
Right. And then, like, you get proven wrong on all these different kinds of things, and you're like, what the hell? Like, here I am assuming that this is what's gonna happen, that someone's not gonna, like, shove me with two hands intentionally from behind.
Eldar [01:18:50]:
Yeah.
Toliy [01:18:51]:
Right. And then my whole spine's gonna misalign. Right. Like, because you assume that you guys are going off the same page, that you guys are on the same.
Mike [01:19:01]:
Like, how would. How do you solve then that question of getting on the same page saying the same.
Eldar [01:19:06]:
I don't think you're supposed to get on the same page. I think you're supposed to get on the same page. Number one is with yourself. I don't suppose to get on the same page. I think it's extremely difficult to get on the same page with a lot of individuals. A lot of different.
Mike [01:19:18]:
Not a lot individuals, but in a friendship, how do you get on the same page so that when you say what you mean, like, it's understood?
Eldar [01:19:24]:
Well, I think that. I think that in friendship, at least I said to you before, concepts needs to be talked about, you know? And if you get to the same truth, the same. Same ending, and you agree upon that and you line yourself up with that, then there's no surprises. Can't have a surprise.
Toliy [01:19:40]:
Yeah. It comes down, I think, to pro. Proper communication on.
Eldar [01:19:43]:
Yeah.
Toliy [01:19:45]:
On both sides.
Eldar [01:19:45]:
Yeah. You know, if you know what I mean. Like, hey, example. A very easy example. If you value same things that I value, you should not be stealing my credit card and buying yourself a Gucci belt. If me, you. Right. If we value the same stuff, it is impossible for you to probably do that.
Eldar [01:20:05]:
Impossible because we value in the same stuff. Right. Integrity, for example. Right. I can almost.
Mike [01:20:14]:
How does my thing was my thing was, how does critical thinking play a role in all of this?
Eldar [01:20:18]:
Well, critical thinking gets you there. Critical thinking. You use critical thinking as a method to get to the bottom of the true things, which you then adapt for yourself as a belief system, install it into yourself, and then out of that belief system, you act. What she's saying now, in the map, you act. You have the actions now. And those individuals who line up with those actions, I think they're friends.
Mike [01:20:41]:
Yeah.
Eldar [01:20:42]:
You know what I'm saying? That's an actual thing, to have something similar with one another. We know that, you know, we can be there for one another because we value the same stuff. And it's not because you like the same music I do. You know, I like ignorant shit.
Tommy [01:21:00]:
Me too.
Eldar [01:21:01]:
You might like classical. You know what I'm saying? That two things have nothing to do with one another, Hans. You know what I mean?
Tommy [01:21:08]:
Yeah.
Eldar [01:21:09]:
So, Tom, you were gonna, like, have an outburst, but then you control yourself, and that's so.
Tommy [01:21:16]:
So this is gonna be like a mic move here.
Mike [01:21:18]:
Oh.
Tommy [01:21:18]:
It's like I had this thought where it was like. Like how, like, I'll try to, like, just sum it up, like, in the face of the external factor. Right. Um, what's my question is this. No, just, like, just. Yeah, just any external factor.
Eldar [01:21:39]:
He has one specific in mind, but he's not going to share because he doesn't feel very comfortable.
Tommy [01:21:43]:
So here, you guys might. You guys might like to hear the. The sort of narrative. So the idea is this, like, you're writing a book.
Eldar [01:21:53]:
Oh, my God.
Tommy [01:21:55]:
Like, being prepared, going into, like, a class, right? Like, this thing that I maybe used to do was, like, I would, like, read about, like. Like, try to get the syllabus. Like, figure out what's being taught. Get the book early, read the introduction. Like, be familiar with that, and then. And sort of maybe, like, damn.
Eldar [01:22:14]:
You did all that to. Just to show off in class, do.
Tommy [01:22:16]:
That stuff, like, till I get to get prepared, right?
Eldar [01:22:19]:
Holy shit.
Tommy [01:22:20]:
Now, here's the thing. So, like, what a poser. So my idea. My idea was this.
Eldar [01:22:26]:
He's already a teacher's pet. You should be a human pet.
Tommy [01:22:29]:
Like, what if, like, how does your. Your thinking sort of limit? Okay, so here's the thing. Okay? So I'm gonna just, like, say it. Oh, all right. So I had this idea, which I haven't fully formed, but it's sort of like this. So, like, say they're teaching a plant. They're teaching a class on something, right? On whatever it is. And, like, I go into it prepared, right? Like, doing some things.
Tommy [01:23:00]:
And then I have in mind, like, what? Like, the most, like, unique thing could be about this class, right?
Eldar [01:23:11]:
Okay.
Tommy [01:23:12]:
Like, I have, like, a sort of.
Eldar [01:23:14]:
You self graduate. Huh? Don't you self graduate, you sick bastard?
Toliy [01:23:18]:
Oh, my God. No, you're not saying that right.
Eldar [01:23:20]:
That's exactly what I'm saying.
Tommy [01:23:22]:
Is that it?
Eldar [01:23:22]:
That's why he quits.
Tommy [01:23:24]:
Okay, so, so, so he comes up with, what's the.
Toliy [01:23:27]:
What's the great. Like. Like, how to get an a in this class, basically.
Mike [01:23:31]:
Okay.
Eldar [01:23:32]:
Yeah. Like, what's, like, the ending. Like, the end result of what you're.
Tommy [01:23:35]:
Trying to learn now here, tip. To be used for this.
Eldar [01:23:38]:
And then he gets bored, let me tell you.
Tommy [01:23:39]:
I have to be used for this specific purpose to just, like, channel energy, right? To just, like, be in. Sort of be guided through this without any, like, distractions, like, around me, right? Because, like, me in my scenario, it's like I'm going in to school as an adult, but I'm also sort of frustrated by people who are younger than me, who's. Our belief systems, we do not align.
Eldar [01:24:07]:
Yeah.
Toliy [01:24:08]:
And then you get. You tap into this thing where it's like you're surrounded by people who are just plain dumb or just, like, not caring at all or being, like, careless and being inconsiderate or not showing enough respect or something like that. And then you struggle in this system where there's an even older person than you in the classroom who is the professor, who's, like, in front, right? And so, like, my thought was this. It was like, well, what if I just sort of, like, get the most essential thing and sort of flip it into, like, a sort of negative statement, right? Like, the negative statement is like. Like, what is, like, the sort of, like, limit of this. Of this topic, and then sort of, like, having that idea in mind. Like, I'm always, like, mentally oriented with, like, where this class cannot go. You see what I'm saying? And then.
Tommy [01:25:01]:
And then tossing that out.
Toliy [01:25:03]:
I'm lost.
Tommy [01:25:04]:
And then tossing that out and sort of, like, getting rid of it, because I tell myself that this, that that thought isn't necessary. So, like, the question is, like, what is the value of keeping that thought of, like, maybe like, an intellectual? I don't know. I guess, like, reasoning. A basis of reasoning. What's the benefit of it if it's only leading me to become, like, the teacher's pet or to become, um, to become somebody who's, like, invested? So it's like, say you're watching a movie. And at the beginning of the movie, you decide to guess what happens. Right?
Eldar [01:25:49]:
Say it again. Say it again, Tom.
Tommy [01:25:50]:
Say you're watching a movie, and at the beginning of the movie, like, you meet the main character and you decide what happens.
Eldar [01:25:57]:
Yes.
Tommy [01:25:58]:
You already think about what happens.
Eldar [01:26:02]:
Yeah, I agree with Tom completely. Tom, I think I understand where you're going with this. I think you're a genius, Tom. I think you're a genius internally, actually. I actually believe this. And all that nonsense that you're going through is torture to you.
Tommy [01:26:14]:
Yeah, that makes kind of makes sense, I guess. It makes sense.
Eldar [01:26:18]:
That's why you quit, bro.
Tommy [01:26:22]:
Fighting this quit.
Eldar [01:26:23]:
And I'm fighting because he's a genius.
Toliy [01:26:25]:
Why?
Eldar [01:26:26]:
He fucking. He solves the whole riddle before anything happens, bro.
Toliy [01:26:29]:
But is he right about it?
Eldar [01:26:31]:
He is right about it.
Toliy [01:26:32]:
How?
Eldar [01:26:33]:
Because there's no way to be wrong. That's being said in class, bro.
Toliy [01:26:36]:
So why is he pursuing it?
Eldar [01:26:38]:
Because of the other external fact that he wants to be esteemed as a fucking.
Toliy [01:26:41]:
So then how is he a genius?
Eldar [01:26:42]:
Well, that's the problem. He can't jump over that. Every time he starts the class, he finishes it right away. You understand? He has a battle with it. It's internal battle.
Toliy [01:26:51]:
Then how is he a genius when.
Eldar [01:26:53]:
He gets in there and sits down and pays attention? He's a genius. You understand?
Toliy [01:26:57]:
I mean, like. I mean, come on.
Eldar [01:27:00]:
Yeah.
Tommy [01:27:00]:
He just still doesn't realize what's going on.
Toliy [01:27:02]:
I mean, like, that's the clash.
Eldar [01:27:06]:
You're also a genius in certain things, so, everyone. There we go. Well, that's the fucking point. You just can't. You. You can't take it into the world. You understand? He can't take it into the world.
Toliy [01:27:17]:
Okay.
Eldar [01:27:18]:
You can't come out.
Toliy [01:27:19]:
Yeah, but you're saying everybody, is this right?
Eldar [01:27:21]:
100%. See, he let us in. Into this fucking thing, bro. He can't jump over that barrier. He will never finish school, bro. Never, bro. He cannot conform, bro. There's something that he doesn't believe in.
Eldar [01:27:36]:
You understand? He can.
Toliy [01:27:37]:
What does he believe in? What does he believe in?
Tommy [01:27:40]:
See, the thing is, what does he.
Toliy [01:27:42]:
Believe in out there?
Tommy [01:27:43]:
He believes that the thing is, I am seeking happiness.
Eldar [01:27:46]:
He believes that. He believes that he's supposed to be in a much higher place than he is.
Toliy [01:27:52]:
Sounds like he's an idiot.
Eldar [01:27:55]:
No, I mean, he. He knows what he wants, bro. That's fucking get it. He. He's shooting in the right direction. He quits every time. I agree with him, bro.
Tommy [01:28:05]:
Wow.
Toliy [01:28:09]:
After how many times you do the same thing, though, to be. Then transition to an idiot.
Eldar [01:28:14]:
He's not. He's. He's not gonna transition to any. He's just actually. He's gonna give the world the middle finger and he's gonna do his own shit. And what it does.
Toliy [01:28:24]:
Gonna do.
Tommy [01:28:24]:
Right. Michael Jordan claim based shit.
Eldar [01:28:27]:
Michael Jordan beat. He's gonna be Kanye West 100%. If he doesn't. If he does it.
Tommy [01:28:31]:
Michael Jordan.
Toliy [01:28:32]:
But will he do it?
Eldar [01:28:33]:
I don't know that.
Toliy [01:28:33]:
If he never does it, then what?
Eldar [01:28:35]:
He's just another waste of talent.
Toliy [01:28:38]:
Okay, so then at what point can you deem that they're like, okay, that's it.
Tommy [01:28:41]:
Like, wait.
Eldar [01:28:42]:
Oh, no, until he's kicking, bro. It could be on his last breath, bro. Aging Tom. Yeah, no, yeah, no, this is like a. We just fast forward it.
Toliy [01:28:55]:
Don't you use the c word. Don't they.
Eldar [01:28:57]:
A creator, a creative. Yeah, no, it's a. It's a form. It's a. It's a teaser. What's his name? A work in progress, bro.
Toliy [01:29:04]:
Yeah, but who is it?
Eldar [01:29:05]:
He's a diamond in the rough. Like, rough, bro.
Toliy [01:29:10]:
Like how rough?
Eldar [01:29:11]:
Like, rough, bro.
Toliy [01:29:12]:
Like what?
Tommy [01:29:13]:
Like, yeah, but a fucking big tangerine size.
Eldar [01:29:16]:
Like it's a dirty rock. Dirty rough. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's in there, bro. We just identified it.
Toliy [01:29:23]:
But everybody. Is that. That you're saying.
Eldar [01:29:25]:
Don't you agree with that?
Toliy [01:29:26]:
Yeah, but then you're like. You're making. It seems like it's something special.
Eldar [01:29:30]:
What?
Tommy [01:29:30]:
It is, really.
Eldar [01:29:31]:
It is special, bro. Yeah. This. No, the special is in you. You just need to realize it and take it. You know I'm saying?
Toliy [01:29:39]:
Yeah, but.
Eldar [01:29:40]:
Nope, nope. Rarely people do, you know what I'm saying? Because of the external fucking factors, the fears that he has to get up in front of the fucking YouTube in the world and say, go fuck yourself. I'm the fucking Mandev. Why? Because somebody's gonna come and knock on his door and do some shit. You know what I'm saying? The fears. External fears.
Tommy [01:29:59]:
I will say that the world has.
Eldar [01:30:00]:
To be a better place to deserve him. Those are the types of things he's. He's doing the world injustice, that's for sure. Thank you. You see? You're a sick bastard, Tom.
Tommy [01:30:18]:
No, it's true. It's true. It's true. It's true.
Eldar [01:30:24]:
Yeah.
Toliy [01:30:24]:
I'm gonna finish this, t. But I'm gonna eat this cup.
Tommy [01:30:28]:
This kind of works into, like, number three because. Which is why. Why would. Why would someone rely on an external factor, which would. I said, he said he watches a movie.
Toliy [01:30:40]:
Isn't this the main character?
Eldar [01:30:44]:
What? He said potentially, he could potentially take a subject, extract the most, biggest meaning out of it, understand it, and quit.
Toliy [01:30:55]:
Yeah, but how do you know that that's what's happening?
Tommy [01:30:57]:
That is what's happening.
Eldar [01:30:58]:
That's what you just explained.
Toliy [01:30:59]:
Yeah, but how, how do you prove that? How can you be under the wrong.
Tommy [01:31:04]:
I'll tell you, I'll prove it because I. I don't like the changes that I have in my self esteem when I'm in class. And the only way to.
Toliy [01:31:10]:
How's that proof, though?
Tommy [01:31:11]:
To win. Listen, the only way to win over, bro, the only way to win over that is to just, like, work your ass off. I guess, like, the only way to win, win. Oh, no, it's not.
Toliy [01:31:22]:
You have to help me here. All there.
Tommy [01:31:23]:
The only way to win over that is to give something that's a greater value than what's being given in the classroom.
Eldar [01:31:30]:
That means torture. He just mentioned torture.
Toliy [01:31:33]:
Yeah, but like, you, you're telling me that he goes to a class, right?
Eldar [01:31:37]:
Yeah.
Toliy [01:31:37]:
And he tracks everything?
Eldar [01:31:39]:
Bullshit. No, he senses bullshit. He's very sensitive to bullshit. That's his gift.
Mike [01:31:44]:
Yeah, I agree, but how do you.
Eldar [01:31:45]:
Know, you understand what I'm saying?
Mike [01:31:46]:
Yeah, he knows bullshit.
Toliy [01:31:48]:
Yeah, but how do you, how do you know that he's not shitter?
Eldar [01:31:51]:
Correct. Huh?
Toliy [01:31:53]:
How do you know that he's not the bullshitter?
Tommy [01:31:56]:
Well, we'd have to go really far back, but there's a chain.
Toliy [01:32:00]:
No, no, no. I'm asking you that. How do you know that he's the one who's sniffing the correct things?
Tommy [01:32:05]:
This is where my question began. My question was, like, what if I actually toss out an idea that might actually bring better value into the classroom?
Eldar [01:32:14]:
Listen, I am giving him the benefit.
Toliy [01:32:15]:
Of doubt here by, like, a large.
Eldar [01:32:17]:
Amount, but I'm taking his word for it, bro. Here, he's giving me his word for this. He's giving me. You don't want to take his word. He doesn't want to take your word for it, Tom. That's fucked up.
Toliy [01:32:25]:
Why?
Tommy [01:32:25]:
The thing is, I guess what I'm.
Eldar [01:32:27]:
Asking is giving you an experience.
Tommy [01:32:29]:
My question is, should I be?
Eldar [01:32:30]:
I'm going off of his experience.
Tommy [01:32:31]:
My question.
Eldar [01:32:32]:
I'm not. I don't know whether or not he's right, bro.
Toliy [01:32:34]:
Yeah, like, give me one subject where.
Tommy [01:32:36]:
You could, like, my question bears on altruism, basically.
Eldar [01:32:39]:
See, that's deep, bro. Yeah, that's the high words that's high.
Tommy [01:32:44]:
Shit, which I don't fully fucking understand, but I think it has something to do with understand.
Eldar [01:32:49]:
He has not. For others, he would know when he meets a guy, like, he wants to follow yes or no?
Tommy [01:32:54]:
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Eldar [01:32:55]:
When you meet the right teacher, that was gonna give you the right acting courses or whatever it is, you'll know, like, yo, I want to. I want to go after that person. Everybody else has been bullshitting you, correct? You've been banning everybody, correct?
Toliy [01:33:05]:
No, I think you'll just know.
Eldar [01:33:09]:
I mean, no, I mean, yeah.
Tommy [01:33:11]:
That's the idea that I'm hoarding. That's the idea that I'm hoarding.
Eldar [01:33:13]:
Yeah.
Tommy [01:33:13]:
Yeah.
Eldar [01:33:14]:
He's. He will have to be undeniable. It has to be undeniable for him.
Toliy [01:33:18]:
Yeah, but I think. With what? The way he does things. I think that he creates the scenario for him to. To create these reasons.
Eldar [01:33:26]:
Oh, wow. Then you say he's sick.
Toliy [01:33:28]:
Like, you're telling me, like, he starts a class or, like, a course, right?
Eldar [01:33:32]:
Yeah.
Toliy [01:33:32]:
And he gets to a point where he can extract everything that he needs. That, like, not. He needs. That is needed.
Eldar [01:33:38]:
Yeah.
Toliy [01:33:38]:
To display competency in that course. Right?
Eldar [01:33:44]:
In. I'm not sure the course. I'm not sure the course. And I'm not saying he's gonna be able to pass the test on dates here.
Toliy [01:33:49]:
Okay.
Eldar [01:33:49]:
Okay. Not thinking that the idea of what the course is trying to teach them. Right.
Toliy [01:33:55]:
Okay.
Eldar [01:33:55]:
If it's like. Okay, you know what I mean? The concept. Okay. I think he can reach within the.
Toliy [01:34:00]:
Concept thing and just get, like, a general picture of it.
Eldar [01:34:04]:
Yes. That's what.
Toliy [01:34:05]:
Not a detailed picture?
Eldar [01:34:06]:
No, no, not detailed. General picture. He gets it and he's like, ah.
Toliy [01:34:10]:
But that's not how. Like. But. But, like, knowing that, like, they actually teach, bro.
Tommy [01:34:16]:
Yeah. Who cares?
Eldar [01:34:17]:
Right?
Toliy [01:34:18]:
Well, he cares, cuz he wants the procedure, those things.
Eldar [01:34:21]:
Huh?
Toliy [01:34:21]:
He's the one who values the prestige and the scholarship.
Eldar [01:34:24]:
Oh, no, that's the other side of him.
Toliy [01:34:26]:
No, but that's part of it.
Eldar [01:34:27]:
That's the other side of him.
Toliy [01:34:28]:
That's part of it.
Eldar [01:34:28]:
No, he just wants it just for the paper so he can show off.
Toliy [01:34:31]:
I mean, that's, like, extremely bad. You're basically saying that, like, look, he's just a killer.
Eldar [01:34:36]:
That's. That's his Achilles heel. He wants the paper, but he sits down and starts paying attention, and his true self does not allow him to go with the process.
Tommy [01:34:46]:
Right.
Eldar [01:34:47]:
Which is a good gatekeeper, bro. He's good at this. Bro.
Tommy [01:34:51]:
Yeah. Shadow. Shadow guy.
Mike [01:34:54]:
That's why he's floating around, bro.
Eldar [01:34:55]:
Huh?
Mike [01:34:56]:
That's why he's always.
Eldar [01:34:57]:
That's why he's always floating around. That's why you can't sit still. He's trying to find it.
Toliy [01:35:01]:
Find what?
Mike [01:35:03]:
A way to unlock his thing.
Eldar [01:35:05]:
Yeah.
Tommy [01:35:05]:
Yeah, exactly. And that's. That's why I feel more comfortable now to actualize.
Toliy [01:35:10]:
Does this exactly what he's looking for.
Eldar [01:35:12]:
Huh?
Toliy [01:35:13]:
Does this. Will he find this?
Tommy [01:35:14]:
I mean, I think I have hope so.
Eldar [01:35:16]:
I hope he finds it.
Tommy [01:35:18]:
Like, I do have some minor her finding part.
Eldar [01:35:20]:
Totally, I think is the focus on creating, because that's what he's been saying. Unless he comes one day and says, I don't want to be a creator anymore. I don't want to be an artist one day when he. When he loses his shit and just starts either painting or creating movies, and he's really into it and he's glowing with that energy, and we see it, and the shit that he's coming out with is so ridiculous. He found it.
Toliy [01:35:39]:
Yeah, that's like anybody. That's just like.
Eldar [01:35:41]:
Well, I mean.
Toliy [01:35:42]:
Well, that's what I'm saying, but, like.
Eldar [01:35:44]:
What problems you have in our argument here. Yeah, but you don't want him to succeed or something.
Toliy [01:35:50]:
That wouldn't.
Eldar [01:35:52]:
But what is the problem?
Toliy [01:35:53]:
No, I just don't understand that. Like what? Cuz. Cuz it's like, the way that you're talking about it leads me to believe that, like. Like, that, like, this is what's happening, and he's on the clear trajectory. Like, he's right there. Of getting this.
Eldar [01:36:05]:
No, he's confusing himself by going to school. He should stop going to school is what I'm saying.
Tommy [01:36:10]:
Andre said the same.
Toliy [01:36:10]:
Yeah, but if he has these, like.
Tommy [01:36:12]:
But you understand this is also a simple scenario that eldars come up with. Elder could.
Toliy [01:36:18]:
No, I know.
Tommy [01:36:19]:
You could say, well, you got to keep going, because if that's your thing, if you believe.
Toliy [01:36:26]:
No, but I'm saying is that, like. Like, we're basically saying a scenario where, like, look, if this person puts his mind to something and he does this, it's gonna be so sick. Yeah, but that's, like, the case for any individual. Right, but the.
Eldar [01:36:38]:
But, like, what the juices in the butt clicks. What's the thing that clicks? That's the thing. You have to ask. What the thing that clicks.
Toliy [01:36:45]:
Yeah, but.
Eldar [01:36:45]:
But.
Toliy [01:36:48]:
The problem is in the. But more of these, like. But things you have the lesser. No, you are to do external.
Eldar [01:36:55]:
They're all external. That switch is internal, though. That's the west we're trying to argue here.
Toliy [01:37:00]:
Yeah, but you have to.
Eldar [01:37:03]:
You have to.
Toliy [01:37:04]:
Yet you have to buy.
Eldar [01:37:05]:
You have to buy in.
Toliy [01:37:06]:
Yeah.
Tommy [01:37:06]:
Right.
Toliy [01:37:06]:
And if you have such an esteem, for prestige and for that.
Eldar [01:37:11]:
Yeah. I think that you are the furthest away from you in those moments.
Toliy [01:37:14]:
You are fine.
Eldar [01:37:15]:
That's why that. That stuff is. That's the thing. He's. He trapped himself, bro. He's the jail holder, bro, and he threw away the key, and he's the guard. He did this to himself. On one hand, he esteems the fucking schooling and all this other bullshit, right? On the other hand, he's too smart for the shit, so he sits down, he's like, okay, cool.
Eldar [01:37:32]:
Let me try to listen. He can't. He can't sit still, bro. The shit is owning him. And then he's like, I gotta get out of here. I gotta go create. He buys a fucking camera, starts taking pictures, and then what happens is, right, the world tells them, like, yo, motherfucker, you don't know how to take pictures because you didn't take the courses. Go back to school.
Eldar [01:37:49]:
He's like, ah, fuck it. You know, sell the camera, go back to school for the courses. He's in constant limbo back and forth, bro. He's forever trapped.
Toliy [01:37:57]:
Okay, right.
Eldar [01:37:58]:
No, but the phenomenon, when he said, is a crazy phenomena. Paduma, he actually finally told us why the fuck he quits. He's been doing this for years. Mm hmm. Now, he actually said, why I quit, which is crazy. It scares him. He sits down and scares him the whole fucking scenario. He's like, yo, what the fuck? It's actually killing his artist, his creativity.
Eldar [01:38:19]:
Right?
Tommy [01:38:20]:
Yeah. You guys know why it happened too? Because that whole getting kicked out of.
Eldar [01:38:22]:
School back then at Berkeley, he fears it, too.
Tommy [01:38:25]:
Yeah. Because back then, I was, like, ready to go, you know? I mean, like, I was excited about that. I was happening, and then I experienced, like, a two year setback because. Because I was neurotic and paranoid.
Eldar [01:38:37]:
Yeah.
Tommy [01:38:38]:
You know, I worry too much. I worry too much, and I still worry, which is why I'm not actually out there doing thing and showing that I figured it out like I've done it. Right? Is that what you said?
Toliy [01:38:50]:
Like, yeah.
Tommy [01:38:51]:
When you. When you. When you actually get it or when you find it?
Eldar [01:38:53]:
Yeah, I have.
Tommy [01:38:54]:
Yeah. Because I kind of. I don't like the idea of, like, doing things just because I don't find value, but I'm finding value in it. I just. I just.
Eldar [01:39:04]:
What I think is buy his own shit. You see that?
Tommy [01:39:06]:
The hard fucking thing is to actually do the thing. But once you start doing the thing, sure. I just have to kind of, like, buy into it.
Eldar [01:39:14]:
Maybe you don't buy into it.
Tommy [01:39:15]:
Maybe buying into it might, like most money don't buy.
Toliy [01:39:19]:
I just felt that, like, the way that you were talking about it will lead me to believe that, like. Like, it's right there it is.
Eldar [01:39:25]:
Right there it is right there. It. He's a thought away, an action away from today to start. You can start tomorrow morning. You can start tonight. It is right there it is. It's a click.
Toliy [01:39:35]:
Mm hmm.
Eldar [01:39:36]:
You know what I'm saying? Now, do you feel like you deserve enough that click, Tom?
Tommy [01:39:43]:
No, it's suffering.
Eldar [01:39:45]:
Why not? Why don't you deserve that? Get that click. Finally get the light bulb open and start performing.
Tommy [01:39:49]:
Oh, well, I mean, it's, it's certainly there. I'm certainly just not doing the thing like I am. If, if I've said, like, oh, I'll photograph, or if I. If I've said that, like, I'll. I'll film something I haven't yet. Like, so why not? Just hasn't happened.
Eldar [01:40:06]:
But why not?
Tommy [01:40:09]:
It's got to be like, doubt. You know what I mean? Or, you know, more recently, which is doubt of what? A narrative that I like. It's not a narrative, but I believe that finishing school will strengthen me, and it will, like, provide me with intellect, make me. That will make.
Eldar [01:40:27]:
Right.
Tommy [01:40:27]:
That will make me a better.
Toliy [01:40:28]:
But then how does he say this with these words?
Tommy [01:40:31]:
Okay.
Eldar [01:40:32]:
I mean, I'll tell you why. You could sit here and reason and be very, very, very smart and attractive. Tomorrow morning, we're gonna see the monster and better I.
Tommy [01:40:44]:
Here's. Here's my better.
Eldar [01:40:45]:
I give you credit. I give you credit. But you know what I'm talking about. The disparity of the click of the switch. Yeah. Happens. It's like this. We leave this door right now.
Toliy [01:40:53]:
No, I know, but one phone call. What I'm saying is that, like, we're talking about this now. So he's in that slow down mode, right?
Eldar [01:40:59]:
Yeah.
Toliy [01:40:59]:
So why isn't he saying, like, why is he. Why is he not disagreeing?
Eldar [01:41:05]:
He's telling you about the fears that he has.
Toliy [01:41:07]:
No, but he's saying that he really believes that school is this thing, that it is important. While being slowed down, he's saying this.
Eldar [01:41:15]:
You sure he saw down? I'm not sure he's following, bro. I think he's confused.
Mike [01:41:19]:
Yeah.
Tommy [01:41:19]:
I mean, it's true. I actually see. I see more. I feel more self worth today because.
Toliy [01:41:24]:
Like, I wouldn't be saying right now, it would be like me saying right now is like yelled or actually, no.
Eldar [01:41:32]:
No. Every time we fight you, totally. Every time we fight you, you give the same reasons and examples the reverse way where you like giving yourself the past to do certain things that you do. It's the same shit here. He's not gonna face what I'm telling him to do right now. Why? Because it's an excuse. This is his excuse. He's not gonna do it.
Tommy [01:41:52]:
It's not understand.
Eldar [01:41:53]:
It's not necessarily gonna justify it till the end.
Tommy [01:41:56]:
It's not necessarily prestige. It's that I, like, I wanna be a symbol for good and I want to be able to, like, he's a.
Eldar [01:42:05]:
Piece of shit and he knows it.
Tommy [01:42:06]:
Just why, why do I have to be a.
Eldar [01:42:09]:
He's not good enough. Look, I finish it. You're not good enough right now, Tom. Yes or no? In this form right now, you're not good enough for the humanity to see your art.
Tommy [01:42:19]:
Can I get back to you when I create something?
Eldar [01:42:21]:
You want to go to school, Tom?
Tommy [01:42:23]:
Well, here's the thing. There's no.
Toliy [01:42:26]:
He views himself as a piece.
Tommy [01:42:27]:
Film school is out of the not good enough.
Eldar [01:42:30]:
He just said it.
Tommy [01:42:31]:
Film school is not happening for me. There's like, there's no way that I'm going to study this craft. And I might not even find value in studying the craft. That's one thing. That's just one thing right there.
Toliy [01:42:42]:
So how do you want to make movies now? They want to make.
Tommy [01:42:44]:
The other thing is. The other thing is, is that I wonder. I wonder. Here's where I wonder if I can improve, and that's with my, like, my sense of like, literature and storytelling. And I wonder if I can provide myself the same value. I mean, in a way, I could go to school pretty much for free. So, you know, given like, the hurdle of like, getting there, getting to school and everything, is it worth it? Is that valuable enough for me to. And I kind of justify, yes, but I don't know how I'm going to work out the thing of going, going there.
Tommy [01:43:18]:
And I wonder. I wonder. It's no, like, nowhere, like in my right mind. It probably not. It's not. It's not smart to commute 1 hour to school.
Toliy [01:43:29]:
So what?
Tommy [01:43:29]:
Full time?
Toliy [01:43:30]:
You think that he'll forever not feel that he's good enough, therefore he will never not do anything?
Eldar [01:43:34]:
Yeah, I mean, a lot of people fall into that, into that category and.
Tommy [01:43:38]:
I have to question my energy.
Eldar [01:43:39]:
I mean, you too, right? Hey, I'm not. I feel like I don't deserve this stuff because I have to lose weight. I gotta lose weight first. Remember that whole scenario, you say, no, I have to be a total package. I can't be this without this. Yeah, same shit, it's the same excuse. You're not good enough right now to deserve some kind of better things for yourself to actually start moving. Start moving things, actual things.
Eldar [01:44:01]:
Take steps and actions towards your, your own self.
Tommy [01:44:04]:
Yeah, I'm trying to do that every day without school right now. I am trying to do that every time.
Eldar [01:44:09]:
School is his barrier.
Toliy [01:44:10]:
Even though he quits every time. Because you're saying that he does.
Eldar [01:44:15]:
I mean, he's, in that, in that sense, he's fortunate. You know what I mean? One day it'll click to him. That shit is. That shit is done. He's done with it. When he bans it for forever, I think he releases himself from the chains of the external and starts creating.
Tommy [01:44:31]:
Like I said, andre told me this. He's like, you're pigeonholing yourself. I think, like, if you're this smart, your friend Andre, not, not the nurse, the doctor.
Eldar [01:44:40]:
Oh, he said this to you?
Tommy [01:44:41]:
Yeah. He was like, you're pigeonholing yourself if you, if you can self study.
Eldar [01:44:45]:
Yeah.
Tommy [01:44:45]:
And why go to school?
Eldar [01:44:46]:
The hundred percent, right.
Tommy [01:44:47]:
You see, I mean, I think it even makes sense cuz it would free me a little bit more. Um, but also at the same time, like, you know, I. Yeah, I don't know, but think it through.
Toliy [01:45:01]:
Yeah. Like he's pitching, holing himself to do this, right? Reason he doesn't believe in the self study.
Eldar [01:45:07]:
You correct. He's exteeming again, external.
Toliy [01:45:10]:
Yes. Yeah. The self study doesn't give you the prestigious.
Eldar [01:45:15]:
This is correct.
Mike [01:45:16]:
If it gets.
Eldar [01:45:16]:
This is correct. And that's why he's fucked.
Toliy [01:45:20]:
So he's like in a permanent loop.
Tommy [01:45:22]:
No, no, it's not, it's not. Well, it could, it could be maybe a come on.
Eldar [01:45:26]:
So he's been doing this over and over and over and over. Keeps coming back with the same ideas. I quit school. I'm gonna do an art. I quit art. I'm going back to school. Yeah, or travel. Let's see the travel school.
Eldar [01:45:39]:
Art. Travel school or travel school.
Toliy [01:45:41]:
Arthem. Yeah. Over and over again.
Eldar [01:45:43]:
Over and over again. He's going back to school.
Tommy [01:45:44]:
Yeah, yeah, I guess I want to just ask like. No, I'm not asking you guys. I want to ask myself a small loan to go to school, if someone can send me a donation. Yeah. No, no, there's no, like, there's no real question. But I guess you just said if I could ask didn't cross my mind today. Like, my mind, like, in my mind was like, um. Do.
Tommy [01:46:10]:
Do I want to know, like, the answer to, like, a question about the value of. Of getting an education? You know? I mean, like, I. Okay, so I got.
Eldar [01:46:20]:
You're saying.
Tommy [01:46:20]:
What?
Toliy [01:46:20]:
Do you want to know the answer to that? I hope so.
Eldar [01:46:23]:
No. Well, he's trying to reevaluate his stance.
Tommy [01:46:27]:
Well, like, stacking up specifically what I'm gonna get out of it. And I guess, like, whether I can find a better or cheaper or closer way of doing it. You know what I mean?
Eldar [01:46:37]:
Yeah.
Tommy [01:46:39]:
I mean, it's. It's. What can I say? Like, I see, I I think I come across things all the time where I'm like, okay, I'll do that myself. Yeah, see, I'm saying. Yeah, but there's a difference with, like, you know, what would he somewhere.
Toliy [01:46:55]:
Money.
Tommy [01:46:56]:
I'm being lectured to forever.
Toliy [01:46:57]:
Not do, like, prestigious things.
Eldar [01:46:59]:
A large sum of money.
Toliy [01:47:01]:
Yeah.
Eldar [01:47:01]:
What does that mean? Like, what is gonna do with the money?
Toliy [01:47:04]:
Like, like, he cannot do this art thing, like, and do anything.
Eldar [01:47:09]:
Okay.
Toliy [01:47:09]:
He cannot do anything that.
Tommy [01:47:11]:
Payoffs for people all the time. People take all kinds of payoffs, you know? Like, what's your payoff for? You know?
Eldar [01:47:18]:
I mean, Tom, if I was rich enough, I'll pay you for every painting you don't pay. Yeah.
Tommy [01:47:30]:
Wait, wait, hold on. Yo, this is gonna blow your mind.
Eldar [01:47:34]:
Listen, I want you to buy the canvas. I want you to buy the paints.
Toliy [01:47:38]:
Yeah.
Eldar [01:47:38]:
As soon as you start, it's like, I'll eat.
Tommy [01:47:47]:
Yo, you remember last week when Mike said that he was talking, when Mike was talking about buying things last week. And I was like, he's. He's buying that energy back. That's kind of the same. The same, the same deal with, like, maybe you buy something that gives you temporary pleasure is also the payoff of not doing the actual thing that you want.
Eldar [01:48:11]:
By the way, if anybody wants to actually see Tom's paintings, whoever's listening and shit like that, that shit is actually amazing. And if you do see it, if you are interested, especially if you have some money, you know, this is not. We're not talking about nfts here, guys. This is real stuff. He's dope, but it's gonna cost you a pretty penny. So shout out for him to not paint.
Toliy [01:48:36]:
The bid. Go start the starting bid for me not to paint this starting at $2 million.
Mike [01:48:42]:
Wait.
Tommy [01:48:43]:
I mean, you could open up to sit here in a chair thing to bid.
Eldar [01:48:46]:
Yeah, for sure. You can definitely do it.
Toliy [01:48:49]:
Like, what would he sell out? Is what I'm asking you.
Tommy [01:48:52]:
Sell out. What do you mean, sell out?
Eldar [01:48:54]:
Yeah, yeah. He will sell out in the moment, and then it'll get to him. He'll return it.
Mike [01:49:00]:
Yeah.
Eldar [01:49:02]:
Look, you understand what happened?
Toliy [01:49:03]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tommy [01:49:04]:
I will say he's, like, delayed in terms of. In terms of. Of, like, telling I have all the supplies.
Toliy [01:49:11]:
Should I throw it up? That would be a crazy thing. Tom, I got two grand.
Eldar [01:49:19]:
That's a skit for the best. Artist or no. Yeah, the artist I never painted. What?
Tommy [01:49:29]:
Right.
Eldar [01:49:30]:
I can just have a number, like.
Tommy [01:49:31]:
You know, remember that guy who paints and he would say a number on.
Eldar [01:49:36]:
His shirt, you know, I was gonna say four. Number of paintings I didn't paint. Number five.
Tommy [01:49:42]:
Number six, dude. Yeah.
Toliy [01:49:44]:
And all he does is post pictures of him setting up for shit.
Eldar [01:49:46]:
Yeah.
Toliy [01:49:46]:
Not doing it.
Eldar [01:49:47]:
Not doing it. Yeah. And, like, describing people will pay for it 100%.
Mike [01:49:55]:
You find sick ass places.
Eldar [01:49:57]:
Yeah.
Mike [01:49:58]:
You set up everything.
Toliy [01:49:58]:
Like.
Tommy [01:49:59]:
Yeah.
Mike [01:49:59]:
And you take a picture with your.
Toliy [01:50:01]:
Phone, and there's a 30 minutes timer on it. Like, who wants to bid for me? Not. Not to do this.
Eldar [01:50:08]:
Not to get this done.
Tommy [01:50:10]:
That's terrible.
Toliy [01:50:13]:
And you have a picture for you of what you're planning to goddamn shame.
Eldar [01:50:18]:
Yeah. This is a concept. I won't do it.
Toliy [01:50:21]:
This gets over a. Won't do it today, the next day, you have a different.
Eldar [01:50:32]:
I'm telling you, bro, the artists that never did art, bro. Tom, you already it, bro. You already it. Might as well monetize this shit.
Mike [01:50:41]:
Yeah.
Eldar [01:50:41]:
Huh?
Tommy [01:50:43]:
Yeah, that's true. I think.
Toliy [01:50:50]:
Yeah.
Eldar [01:50:57]:
Exactly.
Mike [01:50:59]:
What's it called? Buy back his own clean conscious and then he'll succeed.
Eldar [01:51:03]:
Yeah. Yeah.
Mike [01:51:04]:
That's what's stopping him. He doesn't think he's a good enough.
Tommy [01:51:08]:
That's part that's kind of like that. Yeah, it is kind of like.
Eldar [01:51:10]:
I know, I know, I know. Most people are. Most people are held back by the shit, the negative self fucking talk.
Tommy [01:51:17]:
Yeah.
Eldar [01:51:17]:
Be it him. He doesn't feel like, you know, he's good enough because he has education. Or be it that his whole family believes that the fucking. They're not supposed to succeed. Like, it's supposed to be like, just a little bit, but then, like, we supposed to sabotage ourselves. You know what I mean? Like. Yeah, because something bad's gonna happen.
Tommy [01:51:31]:
The thing is, whatever the fuck, though, they're here. I mean, we are in the, like, the 21st century where you can get an education on the Internet, like on the cheap, or books are more accessible than ever or something like that. You know what I mean? So there's like a question about, like, what's the right thing to do? You go to school and get smarter, which is kind of why I want to do it. I want to go to school to get smarter, you see?
Toliy [01:51:52]:
Does he feel like he's getting smarter?
Eldar [01:51:54]:
You see? Again, on the Internet, somebody told him to go to school to get smarter.
Tommy [01:51:57]:
The answer to that question is why?
Mike [01:51:59]:
I.
Eldar [01:51:59]:
Because I'm all, fucker. Was a student, got lots of money.
Toliy [01:52:01]:
What if he quits this classes? How is he getting smarter?
Tommy [01:52:03]:
So the question. The question is, he also got cursed.
Eldar [01:52:06]:
Totally. He got cursed. It's called. He became very sensitive. Whatever condition he's experiencing, he's extremely sensitive. You understand? So his mind will only allow certain things to go through it. So as soon as he sits down and he starts feeling. He starts feeling oppression, the class, the students, and the teacher are oppressing him.
Eldar [01:52:26]:
And as soon as he. He starts feeling that, he freaks out internally. And he's like, this is not for me.
Tommy [01:52:31]:
But I've learned that this happens because.
Eldar [01:52:33]:
I've never been there. That's what he, what he described this.
Tommy [01:52:36]:
This happens because I don't have a direction, basically. Let me see. I'll just put it in plain.
Toliy [01:52:41]:
But you just said that you. You're competent enough to make decisions on your happiness.
Eldar [01:52:45]:
Yeah.
Tommy [01:52:46]:
Um.
Eldar [01:52:46]:
You have no idea what the fuck you're doing.
Tommy [01:52:49]:
Wait, what? I'm competent enough to make decisions about my.
Eldar [01:52:52]:
Yeah. Earlier you said this, that this whole. This whole horseshit that you've created, this thing that you're living. I am is actually not true. Is what you just know.
Tommy [01:53:02]:
I'm pretty much happy every day. Sometimes it's a little bit more difficult than I like it to be, but. But I'm happy because how you can.
Toliy [01:53:09]:
Tie in happiness with no direction.
Tommy [01:53:11]:
I'm happy because I'm laying bricks in a way, you know? I mean, and I feel like maybe going to school is the right way to, like, continue building the building. The thing, you know, that's fine.
Toliy [01:53:21]:
You could be potentially wrong about going to school.
Tommy [01:53:25]:
Well, no, because the thing. The reason why.
Eldar [01:53:28]:
The belief.
Toliy [01:53:29]:
That's it.
Eldar [01:53:30]:
Belief. He's gonna go back.
Toliy [01:53:31]:
That's it.
Eldar [01:53:32]:
Yeah. And then he doesn't understand his own mind, the way his mind reacts to it. He won't remember it because he's bound by this. You understand? So he'll go, sit down. You'll do the fuck. Yeah, but like, you are, like he's about to do the art and then he quits and he has enough.
Tommy [01:53:47]:
See, for you use the fucking artists.
Eldar [01:53:48]:
I never painted.
Tommy [01:53:49]:
But listen, you guys covered him. You guys justified it by saying you were competitive. I'm justifying, this is what I'm interested in. See, like, you guys say I'm competitive in that. That way you don't, like, build up to too high expectations on the external factors.
Eldar [01:54:03]:
No, we actually say that we do build up because we're competitive. The competitiveness is. Makes us stupid. Yes. So, okay, on external factors sometimes.
Tommy [01:54:11]:
Correct. So. So for me, mine has to do with, like, dig digging into subjects that are interesting. And I kind of realized that there are probably going to be a whole ton of things that I'm going to want to do, and I'm not going to be able to do all those things. Maybe if I, like, choose fewer things, I'll be able to eventually gather that knowledge on things that I'm interested in. I have to be content with the fact that today, tomorrow, I have a limited amount of time. I won't get to pretty much everything that I think about. But, you know, at least the things that I think about I can study.
Tommy [01:54:54]:
If I continue school and finish. Cool. I could do that. You know what I mean? And I feel like that's smart. Why? It's smart because I'm doing something that I enjoy. I can deal with it. You know what I mean? I can learn more. I can be smarter and like, I don't know, it's.
Tommy [01:55:17]:
It's weird. It's, you know, keep wrestling with it. It's what comes next. There's just anything. Mice the next thing to do, you know?
Mike [01:55:24]:
Yeah, it's definitely interesting.
Eldar [01:55:27]:
It's interesting, huh?
Mike [01:55:28]:
It is.
Eldar [01:55:29]:
Yeah.
Mike [01:55:31]:
Tom has a guilty conscience.
Eldar [01:55:33]:
Wow.
Tommy [01:55:37]:
No, not really.
Eldar [01:55:38]:
Why? Why is he shooting from?
Mike [01:55:40]:
That's why a lot of people have what they feel to succeed is because they have a guilty conscience.
Tommy [01:55:45]:
Well, put up a really good argument.
Mike [01:55:49]:
Wrong towards themselves and others.
Eldar [01:55:51]:
Always themselves. Yeah.
Mike [01:55:52]:
A lot of it towards themselves. And they cannot be successful, happy people.
Tommy [01:55:55]:
Yeah, right.
Mike [01:55:56]:
Sorry. Not successful, but happy people.
Eldar [01:55:58]:
Yeah, yeah.
Tommy [01:55:59]:
But I agree with you on what you said is like, I'll have found it. I will have found it once I'm, like, doing it and show that I'm actually, like, in my element when I'm doing it, you know?
Mike [01:56:11]:
I mean, you won't be able to do it. You have to first unlock it.
Eldar [01:56:14]:
Yeah, no, I have.
Tommy [01:56:16]:
I have unlocked it. I have unlocked it.
Mike [01:56:19]:
If you unlock.
Eldar [01:56:19]:
But it's just, like, why are you here?
Mike [01:56:22]:
You know?
Tommy [01:56:22]:
It's just too, like. I don't know. It's. It's.
Mike [01:56:26]:
Then you have too far, and it's impossible.
Tommy [01:56:28]:
Yeah.
Mike [01:56:29]:
Uncover the truth and not act on it.
Tommy [01:56:30]:
Yeah. It's too hard for me, I guess.
Mike [01:56:32]:
Fuck. That noise you heard.
Eldar [01:56:35]:
It's impossible to uncover truth and not act on it. If you don't act on it, you actually. That's not actually your truth. You actually believe something else.
Tommy [01:56:43]:
Yeah, I do.
Eldar [01:56:44]:
Just signed up for something you don't actually agree with. That's what you can't keep up.
Tommy [01:56:48]:
Okay, so here's the thing. So, like, say, your. Your dream or whatever is to, like, reach a certain point, right? Where, like, you create something. Okay? That's. There's the word. There's the c word. The create. Okay?
Eldar [01:57:04]:
Mm hmm.
Tommy [01:57:06]:
Your dream is to create something, right. It's. It's like, beyond, like, your average object. It's gonna require work just moving towards that. Like, you may or may not know how long it'll take. Or maybe, like, it'll take more time than expected. Right.
Toliy [01:57:21]:
Like.
Tommy [01:57:22]:
Or something. I don't know. It'll take certain amount of length of time that doesn't happen overnight. Like, a book might take years to write that. You create something. You created a book. That's just how it works. No, I mean, so, like, there's a difference, I guess, with saying, like, you are working on something, and.
Tommy [01:57:42]:
And there's. And the other. The alternative being, like, um. Yeah.
Mike [01:57:50]:
You don't have direction.
Tommy [01:57:54]:
No, I've been saying I have direction.
Mike [01:57:57]:
So then you are not working on anything.
Tommy [01:58:00]:
No, I am.
Eldar [01:58:00]:
He's hopping from one to another. He says he doesn't. He doesn't.
Tommy [01:58:03]:
I am working on. I am working on my, like, on. On nurturing my artist. That's what I mean. And I think. I think that going to school nurtures.
Mike [01:58:13]:
Oh, yeah.
Tommy [01:58:14]:
I think nurturing.
Eldar [01:58:15]:
I think it does.
Tommy [01:58:16]:
I think nurtures my artist.
Mike [01:58:18]:
Yeah, definitely it does. The more he does it, the more, like, insane is all will be.
Eldar [01:58:24]:
A.
Mike [01:58:25]:
Hundred percent go away insane. Like, it'll be so out of this world if you go.
Eldar [01:58:28]:
Yeah for it. You're more. More going to abstract, right? Like, any more attractive towards that kind of shit?
Tommy [01:58:32]:
I'm not sure. See, I'm discovering.
Eldar [01:58:34]:
Come on.
Tommy [01:58:34]:
That there's, like, part of. Part of it is. There's an element to, like, to art. You know, they haven't explored you.
Eldar [01:58:40]:
One day look at the canvas, and it's blanken.
Tommy [01:58:43]:
Yeah.
Eldar [01:58:43]:
And you do have a desire to keep it blank. Let me know. I'll buy that one.
Toliy [01:58:49]:
He went back to it. And you have a desire to keep it blank.
Eldar [01:58:55]:
Yeah.
Toliy [01:58:56]:
He just wanted to go through the process of buying everything.
Eldar [01:58:58]:
Yeah.
Toliy [01:58:58]:
Setting it up and then just taking it off his hands.
Eldar [01:59:00]:
Yeah, I'll buy that one.
Toliy [01:59:02]:
Would you feel comfortable selling that?
Eldar [01:59:06]:
Holy.
Tommy [01:59:07]:
He lost me. Oh, my God.
Eldar [01:59:11]:
In order to feel comfortable with that, Tolly, that's a very good question. In order to be comfortable, you have to fucking buy your shit. You know what I'm saying? You can't. You cannot. If you don't buy your shit, it'll come out. You're like, wait a second. You're gonna give me $200 for this blank thing that I just, like, didn't do nothing? You know what I'm saying? But if you actually bought in. Into the internal artist that you are.
Toliy [01:59:35]:
Yeah.
Eldar [01:59:36]:
You should feel like you're giving this away for free. Like, it's almost like, holy shit. Like, this is worth a thousand. You're like. You know what I mean?
Tommy [01:59:42]:
Yeah, I agree. Yeah. I don't know if I can sell you the pen. I can't sell you the pen, but, I mean, like, I don't know. It's. It's interesting. It's interesting.
Eldar [01:59:55]:
I'll probably value you as an artist if you never did anything, bro. More. More than anything.
Tommy [02:00:04]:
I don't know, Mandy. I'll say. I'll say this, that it used to be more about, like, me, like, the way I function, and now it's more like. I guess it was, like, more about my personality before, and now it's more about, like, more about, like. Like, honing the craft. And. And for me, like, my personality is no longer the craft. You know what I mean? So that's kind of what's interesting.
Tommy [02:00:29]:
But, like, there is something in, like, sometimes you feel like. Like. Like you're trying to recover that thing. And most artists stay in. Stay stuck in that loop. Like, there are artists who are blocked, who stay stuck in the loop, because, you know, there are a whole bunch of reasons that they have, like, for giving up, which is why I really. I didn't find myself as, like, giving anything to my environment, which is, I think, why school. I kept giving up.
Eldar [02:00:59]:
Quick question. Quick question. Everything that we just said. Okay. I just realized something. Okay. This particular blog that we talked about. Blog.
Eldar [02:01:09]:
I mean, vlog. What is this called vlog block? This is a vlog.
Tommy [02:01:13]:
Blog. Blog.
Toliy [02:01:14]:
Vlog.
Eldar [02:01:14]:
Vlog. Right. Voice. Vlog. Right. No, this is a podcast.
Tommy [02:01:18]:
Podcast.
Toliy [02:01:19]:
MP3.
Eldar [02:01:20]:
Yeah. Vlog. Okay. Podcast. This podcast that we talked about. Yeah, we talked about art a lot. Talking about artists and stuff. Would this not be interesting for actual artists that are in this writer's block face to listen to this nonsense and get expired? Yo, you heard right.
Eldar [02:01:39]:
Yo, D, write that down somewhere on your piece of paper. Will we need to, like, target audience for this?
Toliy [02:01:44]:
Yes or no with this crew?
Tommy [02:01:47]:
Can't go wrong. What the hell did he just say?
Eldar [02:01:50]:
This fucked up. Tom, give us the pass, bro. Yo, you think they're gonna cancel? The artists are gonna cancel us? Because it's extremely offensive. Tom, we said creative shit just now.
Tommy [02:01:59]:
I'm co signing it right now.
Eldar [02:02:00]:
Thank you, Tom. See, but. But the only artist that I actually see him is Tommy. He's co signing the show you esteem.
Toliy [02:02:07]:
Time as an artist.
Eldar [02:02:07]:
100%. 100%. He sold sea.
Tommy [02:02:10]:
Sold.
Eldar [02:02:11]:
He sold me on it.
Toliy [02:02:12]:
Yeah.
Eldar [02:02:12]:
Yeah.
Toliy [02:02:13]:
What art is he, like, what. What does he sold you on?
Eldar [02:02:15]:
What do you mean? His. Himself. Like, he, like, did. He made a case. Yeah. He's an artist. In my mind, he's an artist. That's how I identify as a non creating one.
Eldar [02:02:28]:
Watch out. Which I fuck with a lot, actually. You know what I'm saying? I like that. I actually like that. I probably appreciate more having less art in the world, but having more individuals that are non artists. You know what I'm saying? What.
Toliy [02:02:52]:
What you're saying is, like, yo, you're. You're. You're really good at this. Really good at, like, doing nothing.
Eldar [02:02:59]:
Yeah. Which is fucking dope.
Toliy [02:03:02]:
No, what is dope?
Eldar [02:03:04]:
That.
Toliy [02:03:05]:
What?
Eldar [02:03:06]:
Being able to appreciate an individual. You know? You know what I'm saying?
Tommy [02:03:17]:
Yo, you got him jumping out of his seat.
Eldar [02:03:21]:
I think Tom is a perfect definition of, like, if you were to define what's a writer's block. Right. Or where they get stomped and they can't create.
Mike [02:03:27]:
Yeah.
Eldar [02:03:28]:
Like, Tom is a walking embodiment of that thing.
Mike [02:03:31]:
Yeah, Tom, I'll take it.
Tommy [02:03:33]:
You know.
Eldar [02:03:36]:
See, Tony takes it, said you're the.
Toliy [02:03:38]:
Living creation of writer's block.
Tommy [02:03:41]:
Yeah, but the thing is, like, I'm not allowing anyone keeping me from doing the thing. See, the big difference that I'm not allowing anyone keeping you from writing.
Mike [02:03:49]:
You're not allowing yourself.
Eldar [02:03:50]:
Yeah.
Mike [02:03:50]:
You're the one who's. You're the block. You're the blocking. You're the guard at the prison.
Eldar [02:03:54]:
Yeah.
Mike [02:03:55]:
And the prisoner.
Eldar [02:03:56]:
And you're cool with it?
Tommy [02:03:57]:
Yeah, 100%.
Eldar [02:03:59]:
You know, you come through it every time like, yo, you're gonna let me out. You're gonna let me out. And he's like, no, I'm not a ui. Like, I cool, man. I'll come back.
Toliy [02:04:08]:
Your best piece of work is one that you haven't done.
Tommy [02:04:10]:
Yeah.
Eldar [02:04:12]:
That is the sickest thing.
Mike [02:04:13]:
Yeah, you gotta package it in the sick way. It'll be a gold.
Eldar [02:04:16]:
Gold, my man. It is gold, bro. I'm telling you, because this motherfucker has studied art for as long as I fucking know it. Now, he's preached the shit to us. I bought in that he's an artist. You guys, like, you guys don't identify him as, like, this person who's, like, has long hair and artists and thinks, you know, like, a little bit weird.
Tommy [02:04:32]:
Well, the thing is, yeah. I channel what I've learned over the years.
Eldar [02:04:36]:
Yeah. Work something 100%, bro. No, fuck that, bro. No way.
Mike [02:04:42]:
Exactly.
Eldar [02:04:42]:
Yeah. He's gonna love that guy by a hundred x. A thousand x, bro. I'm telling you, you're that guy. You that guy. When you pass away, Tom, they can like, yo, I want to hear everything he said. I'm telling you. Mandy.
Toliy [02:04:58]:
Mm hmm.
Eldar [02:04:59]:
You know, they're gonna be paying crazy money for, like, audio, a little clips of you anywhere. Like, they're gonna fucking look for security cameras where he drove by and shit. Like, yo.
Toliy [02:05:14]:
The most expensive art.
Eldar [02:05:17]:
That's what I'm saying. Yes. But this motherfucker lived, breathed arthem all the time. He created art by just fucking existing. Oh, you understand?
Toliy [02:05:29]:
Okay. Okay.
Eldar [02:05:29]:
So they're gonna be like, holy shit. I wanna be inspired by that shit. They're gonna want glimpses of it.
Toliy [02:05:33]:
Wow. You're saying that Tom is just living, breathing arthem.
Tommy [02:05:49]:
Look at security cameras. Let's see where he's at.
Toliy [02:06:00]:
Yeah, I think you said the sickest shit ever. So they're gonna look at security cameras where you're standing outside.
Eldar [02:06:05]:
Yeah.
Tommy [02:06:06]:
Century mode.
Eldar [02:06:07]:
Just to feel the vibe, bro. You understand?
Mike [02:06:13]:
Yeah.
Eldar [02:06:13]:
That's sick.
Toliy [02:06:14]:
Tom, do you agree?
Eldar [02:06:17]:
You try to set him off. Here's.
Tommy [02:06:20]:
Here's what I. Here's what I wonder. I wonder if it, like, see. Okay, let me. Let me ask you this, t. T. Do you think that players, right, like, basketball players or, like, or, like, determined, like, fighters? Let's say the people who say, like, I want to be, like, the very best, something like that. I want to be like, like, the top fighter.
Tommy [02:06:44]:
I want that spot. Do they fall into the category of getting to that place, hating it, like, having no free will, or are they making, like, the right choice? So, like, saying, like, I want to be the best basketball player in the world. I want to be the best fighter in the world in this. In this rank or whatever. Like, are they doing the right thing? Are they actually going to become the best fighters in the world? Or they somewhere in the, like, thinking about, like, believing that they're gonna be?
Toliy [02:07:16]:
Well, if that's their belief and they actually do it, then I would say yes.
Tommy [02:07:21]:
So is that the right way of going about becoming the best fighter in the world? By saying it?
Toliy [02:07:26]:
I mean, wow.
Mike [02:07:27]:
You say. You say he just wants to be it without saying he just wants to be it.
Tommy [02:07:32]:
Is that right? Like, is it right to state, like, to affirm? Like, here's my affirmation. Like, I want to be the best films.
Mike [02:07:40]:
He wants to be.
Toliy [02:07:40]:
You have to have a desire, right?
Mike [02:07:42]:
He wants to be the embodiment of an artist. So one of the great artists in the dictionary is gonna be his picture in there.
Tommy [02:07:49]:
The question is, it's like, oh, he.
Mike [02:07:51]:
Won'T be like, living art, bro. He is a work 24/7 living art.
Eldar [02:07:55]:
Tom is a work of art.
Mike [02:07:57]:
I agree.
Eldar [02:07:59]:
Yeah. Tom is art.
Mike [02:08:00]:
He is art, and art is Tom.
Tommy [02:08:03]:
It's complicated.
Eldar [02:08:04]:
Yes, yes.
Tommy [02:08:06]:
That's complicated. Yeah.
Eldar [02:08:11]:
Tony's getting it, but he's getting it.
Mike [02:08:13]:
I'm getting slow to catch on. Yeah.
Eldar [02:08:16]:
Are we selling it?
Mike [02:08:17]:
No.
Toliy [02:08:17]:
Yeah, 100%.
Eldar [02:08:18]:
That's it, Tom. Dope Tom.
Tommy [02:08:23]:
Yeah.
Eldar [02:08:25]:
I can't believe it, man. You must have did something right.
Tommy [02:08:28]:
I think so. Oh, shit. Yo, why? He played a fool. This is, like, fucking 2012.
Mike [02:08:40]:
No, you're not.
Tommy [02:08:44]:
When do I get paid.
Eldar [02:08:48]:
Tom? When we get paid. Trust me, bro. My association. You don't understand. You did something right, Tom. You did something right. Yeah. Because we will get paid.
Tommy [02:08:58]:
You know who we gotta convert, right? The creator of this podcast, Dennis himself.
Eldar [02:09:04]:
He didn't create it, unfortunately.
Mike [02:09:06]:
He just named it. We named it.
Eldar [02:09:09]:
He helped. He helped name it, you know, by being himself. Okay, again, by being himself. Yeah. The greatest name came from that. By being himself. Yeah.
Tommy [02:09:18]:
Right, right. So, I mean, I don't know if these.
Eldar [02:09:20]:
I know exactly what happened, which, which. What he was going through and stuff like that. Everything, the whole emotion shit and how that got extracted, that Dennis Ross.
Mike [02:09:28]:
Yeah, I remember. Yeah.
Eldar [02:09:30]:
I can always talk about it. Yeah.
Tommy [02:09:32]:
But still, I think maybe. Is there a possibility that d is, like, a blocked artist? Possibility. Small possibility.
Eldar [02:09:38]:
Blocked artist.
Tommy [02:09:39]:
Yeah.
Toliy [02:09:40]:
Everybody is.
Eldar [02:09:41]:
Well, yeah, if you if you talk about. If you don't define the artist, like, is a, you know, self actualization. Self actualized individual who's doing what they actually should be doing, their purpose, and. And being happy and stuff like that. Yeah, I 100% agree with. With that, too. Yeah. That Dennis, is that blocked artists? For sure.
Eldar [02:09:58]:
We are all blocked artists. Yeah.
Tommy [02:10:00]:
Um, I mean, Dennis had, like, some interest in art at some point. I don't know if you guys remember that. Taking some art class back in the day.
Eldar [02:10:10]:
Yeah, yeah.
Toliy [02:10:14]:
We're just talking about, like, a life art.
Mike [02:10:16]:
Actual art. Yeah, like, you know, creator art.
Eldar [02:10:19]:
Yeah, no, that's what I'm talking.
Tommy [02:10:20]:
I'm talking about people, like, willing to create. I don't know.
Eldar [02:10:24]:
Yeah, but you're actually. Yeah. You want to just are. You are, and you want to create like you are. You have the total power.
Tommy [02:10:30]:
So an actor could be an artist. Like, an actor is an artist. Right.
Toliy [02:10:33]:
Or your art is just desiring.
Tommy [02:10:35]:
Painter, a writer, sculptor.
Eldar [02:10:37]:
Yeah, come on.
Tommy [02:10:38]:
Like, name some artists here. Like, you have writers, poets. You have.
Eldar [02:10:42]:
Nobody has the total package that you have, Tom. Nobody.
Toliy [02:10:46]:
Nobody could just wake up and be art.
Eldar [02:10:47]:
Yeah. Yes.
Mike [02:10:50]:
An artist is defined when it goes into the studio and creates art. You're defined. You just wake up and.
Eldar [02:10:55]:
Yes, art.
Tommy [02:11:00]:
Not really.
Mike [02:11:03]:
Can you call an artist when he's in the music video?
Eldar [02:11:06]:
Tom, Tom, argue this point to me. Right. There's a camera lens on you right now, Tom. It's our eyes. Mm hmm. We're witnessing an actor, an individual by the name Tom, going about his life, doing what he's doing. And to us, this shit is art broof us wrong.
Tommy [02:11:31]:
So rewind. You said what? Cameras are on you.
Eldar [02:11:34]:
The cameras on right now. They're not. Not the iPhone camera.
Tommy [02:11:38]:
You're watching. You're watching what?
Eldar [02:11:39]:
We're the camera. You're the viewers. Really? Yeah. Explaining and that which we're experiencing and viewing in you, we deem to be art. And I think that the world is missing out. Prove us wrong. Like, totally said, how are you not art to me? Like, that's my subjective opinion.
Tommy [02:11:59]:
There's, like, see this?
Eldar [02:12:00]:
I just. I'm just gonna convince the world that it's objectively true.
Tommy [02:12:03]:
I think this is kind of, like, the ideal scenario. You know what I mean? Because I do. I accept, I admit that I have been in a blocked artist, and I want that, and I'm actively working for it to change.
Eldar [02:12:16]:
Yeah.
Tommy [02:12:17]:
Yeah. I want it to change, and I'm actively working for it to change, whether I become a writer or filmmaker.
Eldar [02:12:22]:
The change is gonna come from one place, Tom.
Tommy [02:12:25]:
It's wild to me to be able to say that. Yeah, it's wild. But, I mean, I've written lately that.
Eldar [02:12:32]:
They'Re gonna hit us up, bro. They're gonna hit us up. You let me know how you want me to handle those calls. What?
Tommy [02:12:39]:
People looking for the security tapes?
Eldar [02:12:45]:
Yes, they will.
Tommy [02:12:46]:
I'm all in on it. I mean, I'm glad that you guys, you know, like. Like, take time to acknowledge it and.
Eldar [02:12:53]:
No, I open to discussing it. No, I think we're gonna start acknowledging it more and more going forward. Right now, I think today was a realization session. Yeah, I just realized that.
Tommy [02:13:03]:
That's good.
Eldar [02:13:04]:
You know what I'm saying? I think you having a little hard time, like, kind of, like, tapping into it, but you always believe the two, Tom.
Tommy [02:13:10]:
Well, look, dude, when we talked about school, I'm not like, yeah, I won't say that. I'm exactly like. Like, when you say you, like, lost the game, but you, would you guys.
Eldar [02:13:19]:
Say that we discovered him or. No, we discovered talent. Is this how the talent gets discovered?
Mike [02:13:24]:
I think so. I think that's what they mean.
Eldar [02:13:27]:
Wow.
Mike [02:13:27]:
When they say that.
Tommy [02:13:28]:
Yeah. We don't want, like, jump too far ahead on that.
Eldar [02:13:33]:
Why you say that? We're gonna let you finish school.
Toliy [02:13:36]:
Don't worry about that.
Tommy [02:13:37]:
Hear me out. Hear me out.
Eldar [02:13:37]:
Yeah. Okay.
Tommy [02:13:38]:
What you said, what you said about.
Toliy [02:13:42]:
Like, what you would.
Eldar [02:13:43]:
You think he was going through his head? Tell me when he's made that comment. That's not jump too far.
Tommy [02:13:50]:
Well, you know what you said before about, like, how you lost the game the other day, but you weren't happy about it.
Eldar [02:13:55]:
Yeah.
Tommy [02:13:55]:
Like, for me, it. It doesn't necessarily make me happy to think it's gonna take a couple of years, like, finish school. That's kind of. Even though it works towards the thing, it doesn't necessarily make me happy.
Eldar [02:14:06]:
Yeah.
Tommy [02:14:06]:
I mean, but, yeah, I think there's a point in doing something sooner.
Mike [02:14:11]:
The way he finished school. Tom, it's not the way you wit. It's not the way you play. You win the game.
Tommy [02:14:18]:
Exactly. But here's the thing. That's now, the hardest part, that. The most disappointing part about school is that you are actually using up all, almost all the time that you have to do this thing, and you have close to no other time to do, like, something serious.
Mike [02:14:35]:
Tom has to come in to these classes and set a tone that he's actually the professor.
Eldar [02:14:41]:
I agree with you 100%, Mike.
Mike [02:14:43]:
And then the people will discover him more and more.
Eldar [02:14:45]:
Correct. I agree with you 100%.
Toliy [02:14:48]:
What about a class? Determine which the students is the teacher, which is.
Eldar [02:14:53]:
Yeah, yeah. I would want him to stand up. I said, guys, even though the professor just introduced the class and everything, he just said, seriously. But to be honest with you, I have a lot more to say than him, you know, as respect. I got a got $100 on this, too.
Mike [02:15:16]:
I got 100.
Eldar [02:15:17]:
There you go. Boom. $300, right? I want him to say it out loud, say, hey, guys, I'm gonna introduce myself. My name is Tom, and even though I look like a student, and I'm here on the student side of the room, I'm actually the professor. I'm gonna follow the instructions of whatever this individual in front of us is gonna say, and that's perfectly fine. You know, I'm gonna act as a student, but I have a lot more. Just know. That's it.
Eldar [02:15:42]:
You make the speech. How about this?
Toliy [02:15:46]:
We pay for the class just for him to go on the first day to say this, and we come in also just to record it.
Eldar [02:15:51]:
Yes. Yo, yo.
Toliy [02:15:53]:
Make millions of that one clip.
Eldar [02:15:55]:
That's right. Off that one clip. 100%.
Toliy [02:15:57]:
Yeah.
Eldar [02:16:00]:
There you go. Yes or no would be art.
Toliy [02:16:03]:
Yeah.
Eldar [02:16:03]:
And now all he has to do, he has to say it in a very professional, proper way.
Mike [02:16:08]:
Yeah.
Eldar [02:16:09]:
And he. And they need to believe him. The students will believe him.
Mike [02:16:13]:
He has to. Yes. He just gotta come in and overthrow the concept.
Eldar [02:16:16]:
Correct.
Mike [02:16:17]:
And if he starts.
Eldar [02:16:20]:
And that's the whole skill gig is off, I'll be.
Toliy [02:16:24]:
Like, an SNL skit.
Mike [02:16:25]:
That would be a reckless move. Just means everything on.
Toliy [02:16:30]:
Yes. That would be a skit.
Eldar [02:16:31]:
Yeah, yeah.
Tommy [02:16:32]:
D, you might want to cut this part out. Don't be selling trade secrets.
Eldar [02:16:40]:
Understand that?
Mike [02:16:40]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%.
Eldar [02:16:43]:
He will kill it, bro. He will.
Mike [02:16:46]:
Of course.
Eldar [02:16:47]:
Because why are they gonna say, how so? And he's gonna say that line that he just said earlier that you didn't understand. He's like, I got to the bottom of it already.
Mike [02:16:56]:
Whatever this guy is gonna tell you, I already know it.
Eldar [02:16:58]:
Already know it. I got to the bottom of it.
Mike [02:17:00]:
There's nothing here.
Toliy [02:17:02]:
The whole channel. Just Tom going class by class by school.
Eldar [02:17:05]:
Yes.
Toliy [02:17:06]:
Saying this everywhere.
Eldar [02:17:07]:
Everywhere.
Mike [02:17:07]:
Yeah, yeah. Turning around, leaving.
Eldar [02:17:10]:
Yeah. No, he has to stay. He has to rescue this kid. The students, bro. He's gonna get a crazy following, bro.
Mike [02:17:17]:
They're gonna follow my Gandhi.
Toliy [02:17:18]:
There's gonna be a point where he walks in the class and are gonna know what's about to happen.
Eldar [02:17:23]:
Yes.
Toliy [02:17:23]:
Because he'll be a celebrity.
Mike [02:17:24]:
Yes.
Eldar [02:17:25]:
One. One.
Toliy [02:17:26]:
And everyone's just gonna follow him automatically.
Eldar [02:17:28]:
And the people, what the fuck is happening here?
Mike [02:17:30]:
Yeah.
Eldar [02:17:30]:
You understand? Yeah.
Toliy [02:17:32]:
They're gonna feel blessed that time walks classroom to help them.
Eldar [02:17:37]:
To help them and, like, make reassure everybody that everything is okay and it'll change the whole.
Mike [02:17:41]:
And that's the way he buys back his good.
Eldar [02:17:43]:
That's right.
Mike [02:17:44]:
His goodness.
Toliy [02:17:45]:
And it changed the whole.
Eldar [02:17:48]:
I agree with you. Yeah. It'll overturn everything. Yeah.
Tommy [02:17:52]:
When I create.
Eldar [02:17:53]:
This is you be.
Mike [02:17:57]:
This is now you being yourself and showing the world and getting the confidence correct. To be yourself.
Eldar [02:18:02]:
Correct.
Mike [02:18:02]:
This will help. It was the stepping stones of you buying the first time, Tom.
Eldar [02:18:06]:
I'm gonna tell you right now, the first time this happens, Tom, you're gonna get a heart on, bro. Your dick's gonna stand, so make sure you sit down right away. You know what I'm saying?
Tommy [02:18:15]:
Please cut this out, D. I'll give you $20.
Eldar [02:18:23]:
And then you can say at the end, but your. Guys, my dick is about to go up, so I gotta sit down. That's gonna be crazy.
Mike [02:18:32]:
Now. That's sick. Yeah. That kind of idea is crazy. It's guaranteed. Guaranteed.
Toliy [02:18:37]:
Guaranteed viral.
Mike [02:18:38]:
Viral fucking moneymaker.
Eldar [02:18:40]:
Yeah. Instantly. Instantly, yeah.
Tommy [02:18:43]:
I think the most important thing is happiness.
Eldar [02:18:46]:
Yeah.
Mike [02:18:47]:
And this is why the.
Eldar [02:18:48]:
When the professor gives everybody the class to introduce themselves. Hi, my name is Johnny. I'm from Ridgewood, you know, and I'm studying associates in trigonometry. Trigonometry. You know what I mean? That's what Tom gets up and says his piece.
Mike [02:19:03]:
Yeah.
Toliy [02:19:03]:
Yeah.
Tommy [02:19:05]:
Moving forward, I just want you to know this person dressed as the professor. I'm on the student side, but the.
Eldar [02:19:19]:
Respectful. I'm gonna sit on this side. And that's okay. We can play this only by choice. I'm gonna sit. That's right. And I'll go through it, but just to let you know. And this is what's actually going on.
Eldar [02:19:30]:
Yo, I can't wait to see how the teacher teaches.
Mike [02:19:33]:
Yeah.
Eldar [02:19:33]:
After this kind of speech.
Toliy [02:19:34]:
Yeah. Like, oh, man.
Mike [02:19:38]:
Yeah. Tom.
Eldar [02:19:38]:
He's gonna be intrigued. He's gonna read Tom's papers, and he's gonna learn from Tom.
Mike [02:19:43]:
Yeah.
Toliy [02:19:47]:
Consider that part.
Eldar [02:19:48]:
You understand?
Mike [02:19:49]:
That's huge.
Eldar [02:19:49]:
Wow. He's gonna lap him, bro. Lap him. The professor's gonna find himself, bro, through Tom.
Toliy [02:19:57]:
Tom, would you be willing to do.
Eldar [02:19:57]:
This if we pay for the class.
Mike [02:19:59]:
And give you the money and share profits?
Tommy [02:20:04]:
Guys, I got a lot of shit to work out in my head. That's it. I'm burning.
Toliy [02:20:08]:
We'll start thinking about it.
Eldar [02:20:09]:
Yeah. This kind of stuff is not born overnight, huh?
Toliy [02:20:12]:
No.
Mike [02:20:13]:
A little seed is planted from a great drying tree.
Eldar [02:20:16]:
Yes.
Tommy [02:20:20]:
Fucking fantastic. That shit is gold right there.
Toliy [02:20:27]:
That tiny seat is born from a huge fact.
Eldar [02:20:32]:
Yeah, man. You see? Sounds nice, right, Tom? See, we went into the depth. Just find out who you really are, who you actually want to be.
Tommy [02:20:41]:
Thank you.
Eldar [02:20:42]:
Yes. You ain't about this life.
Tommy [02:20:45]:
Yeah.
Eldar [02:20:45]:
You're just a loser, Tom, who's gonna keep getting impressed by life.
Tommy [02:20:50]:
Whoa.
Eldar [02:20:51]:
What? I wasn't expecting that.
Tommy [02:20:53]:
That the plot twist was crazy.
Eldar [02:20:55]:
You know what I'm saying?
Tommy [02:20:56]:
Yeah.
Eldar [02:20:57]:
No, I do this nonsense, Tom. You're gonna tiptoeing a little bit. Little bit. Little bit. Little bit. Little bit. Eating shit. You know what I'm saying? And one day, maybe you'll paint something really weak, you know, like a tree or something.
Eldar [02:21:07]:
You know what I mean? With no significance.
Tommy [02:21:11]:
Yeah. You're confusing Mike, bro. Yeah.
Mike [02:21:15]:
You hold it on the idea.
Eldar [02:21:17]:
Yeah, it's dead.
Mike [02:21:21]:
You don't yourself. For now.
Eldar [02:21:22]:
Yeah.
Mike [02:21:23]:
No, I didn't say that you're dead. No, you got too much on your plate.
Eldar [02:21:26]:
Yeah.
Tommy [02:21:27]:
Oh, no. I mean, I've got too much of my plate, considering the school thing, you know?
Mike [02:21:30]:
Yeah. This is the only thing.
Eldar [02:21:34]:
Excited, bro?
Tommy [02:21:35]:
Here's the thing. I'll say again that I think Eldar made a really good point about just giving, like, giving it a little bit, you know, and trying to do. Accomplish something small so that.
Eldar [02:21:45]:
Like the suit? Yeah.
Tommy [02:21:46]:
I mean, basically, I said you were to create.
Eldar [02:21:50]:
You'd be.
Tommy [02:21:50]:
You'd find it, you know, once. Once you actually make something and you. You are enjoying it, and you're glowing with the thing and you're with it, then you found it, you know? I mean, but until then, you haven't. Which is a point, you know, I could continue to delay and delay and delay before I, like, you know, film. Film something small. Or I could just try to make it sooner, you know? And that's just the challenge. So, wait, it's a big.
Eldar [02:22:14]:
I do carry, too, bro. You know what I'm saying? It's a big load to carry. It's a big responsibility for him. It's very scary.
Tommy [02:22:24]:
It's true. But, you know, it's also on one wrong.
Eldar [02:22:27]:
I think when he's sitting at home in this closet when the lights are out, he's, like, famous, you know, this artist or whatever. Not so scary, you know, that's not a very control thing. And then he comes into the world, and I.
Tommy [02:22:39]:
It could definitely be about recognition and, like, being part of, like, something and being right for that society. You know what I mean? Like, being, like, the person that's chosen for that. But that's not really about it for me. I want to be good at it. Like, so I just. I study what's important, you know, to me. It's the literature, it's the storytelling. That's what fascinates me, and that's, like, what I'm curious about.
Tommy [02:23:03]:
And, you know, like, yeah, it goes on endlessly. Sure.
Eldar [02:23:06]:
Sure.
Tommy [02:23:07]:
It goes on endlessly. But also, I've never really been that guy to read stories. That's my problem. Yeah, I'm an artist. I'll answer your question.
Toliy [02:23:23]:
Well, dog shit art.
Tommy [02:23:26]:
The thing is, I gave up on art a long time ago for many reasons. And I was young, and, you know, considering, like, how to rebuild a sort of creative mindset has been difficult for me because of school. I've gone generally in the way of, like, of being, like, following the structure, you know, following the norms, and just basically being, like, more of, like, a performance kind of mindset person trying to blend that idea of growth with school, which kind of, like, works you into, like, you know what I mean? Like, sort of limited. Limited thing. Like. Like I said, I'm not going to film school. I have no art to present to an art school. So that's, like, out for me.
Tommy [02:24:20]:
So I never really thought about that. Because of that structure. It keeps you from doing it. You know what I mean? Like, that's the way it's built.
Eldar [02:24:26]:
And you never thought about submitting an empty portfolio?
Tommy [02:24:30]:
No.
Eldar [02:24:31]:
Okay.
Tommy [02:24:31]:
Yeah. Clearly. Or pleading my pathetic case.
Eldar [02:24:37]:
You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?
Toliy [02:24:40]:
I mean, can you guys telling an artist, like, you ever considered submitting an empty portfolio.
Eldar [02:24:46]:
To art school? You know what I'm saying?
Toliy [02:24:49]:
That would be bold.
Eldar [02:24:50]:
You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
Toliy [02:24:53]:
If you want to see, select me.
Eldar [02:24:56]:
Yeah. You're missing out. Fomo, question mark.
Tommy [02:25:03]:
So my giant dick is a tree in the background? Definitely. My problem has been, like, self doubt and self sabotage, but here we go. The thing is where this mediocre. Mediocre thing, the mediocre artist thing, it's really come just, like, as a result of, like, I guess, feeling the power in thinking in a new way and just basically kind of, like, reinforcing the idea that, you know, like, I. Guys, I can't tell you how much stuff I've done in the last, just, like, weeks. I really don't even count. And that might, I have a serious fucking problem of how to keep track of what I've accomplished. Like, because there's just shit ton of things that I've done.
Tommy [02:25:52]:
And it's crazy to me because I feel like I need to list this stuff so that I can, like, feel like I've actually, like, accomplished something. You know what I mean? Like, I I have to, like, be able to see it or something that tells me, okay, you've done it.
Eldar [02:26:07]:
Oh, wow.
Tommy [02:26:08]:
That feels great. It's weird, Tom.
Eldar [02:26:10]:
Say it. What'd you do?
Tommy [02:26:12]:
I mean, it's not even, you know, I mean, the thing is, okay, no, I can say one word. I could just say I studied. You know what I mean?
Eldar [02:26:22]:
Yeah. All right.
Tommy [02:26:23]:
I read.
Eldar [02:26:23]:
See, I read books.
Tommy [02:26:25]:
Okay? I I wrote. I read. Um, I've been studying online courses. You know what I mean? And, and in this has come out something good. Something is good from it has come out, and that's that I'm actually, I believe that I'm challenging myself to write, actually, and write creatively and go through the revision process. And, and it's, this is one of my biggest, biggest pain points in the last, like, whatever, x a number of years. It's that I can't. You remember this, right? You remember that one day we're a.
Tommy [02:27:03]:
Duncan, I had to write something for school, and you were like, you're explaining me how to write it. But I was struggling with it because I want to get the words right and everything. Like, that's the insane problem that I've, I've dealt with. And it's not, there's no clear way of becoming a great writer. There's a way, like, you should try to show me a. Being a good one, right? Say no.
Eldar [02:27:27]:
Good.
Tommy [02:27:27]:
Good.
Eldar [02:27:28]:
Yeah.
Tommy [02:27:28]:
Passing grade. Exactly. I mean, yeah, exactly. So we know kind of, we have an understanding of that. But I don't want to be just a good writer. I want to be a great writer.
Eldar [02:27:39]:
And, you know, that's why being a great writer, you actually have to write absolutely nothing.
Mike [02:27:45]:
Oh.
Tommy [02:27:47]:
I mean, I'm not gonna, like, try to, like, figure out what you said because it doesn't seem, it doesn't seem right.
Eldar [02:27:53]:
All right? But to be, I think to be.
Tommy [02:27:56]:
A, I think to be a great writer, I don't know. It's questionable, but to be a great writer, you need to be able to, like, make the person feel like you're not necessarily writing. Like, you're, like, you don't know.
Eldar [02:28:07]:
Socrates was the great, the most read philosopher in the world that he never wrote anything down.
Tommy [02:28:13]:
Yes.
Eldar [02:28:14]:
All right, cool.
Tommy [02:28:15]:
Yeah. All right, cool. Yeah. I mean, like, word of mouth, sure. I am being ambitious here by saying, like, achieve that, but I also know that, like, like, winning games, you know what I mean? Um, that expectation or whatever, relying on. I mean, like, like, winning games, I guess maybe the competitiveness about being a good writer, great writer, or whatever might. Might, uh, you know, whatever. Like, it might not.
Tommy [02:28:43]:
It might not tip in your favor, let's say. But I'm determined to, like, strengthen myself, you know, or. Yeah. Sharpen my skills.
Eldar [02:28:52]:
All right, we'll see you in.
Tommy [02:28:55]:
And that's kind of what I've been doing. Yeah, that's kind of what I've been doing, guys. And I'm proud of myself for, like, pursuing that path without having, you know what I mean? I'm not just sitting around wishing that I was doing these things. I just got to do them. So, yes, that's what it is. And I think I'm doing the work. I mean, you know, I'm doing justice to that belief that if I keep going in this direction, it'll be great.
Eldar [02:29:18]:
All right, good. Thank you for sharing, Tom.
Tommy [02:29:22]:
You're welcome.
Toliy [02:29:23]:
But you feel that there's the most amount of untapped potential and not doing. And not creating anything.
Eldar [02:29:28]:
Correct. Correct. Actually, for him, yeah, in this case, yeah, absolutely. He is the art.
Tommy [02:29:36]:
Are you gonna follow that up with questions or you.
Toliy [02:29:38]:
No, I'm processing.
Eldar [02:29:39]:
Yeah, I actually think that processing, like, he's doing himself injustice, actually, by doing.
Toliy [02:29:46]:
Really?
Eldar [02:29:47]:
Yeah. Like he's already a polished diamond.
Tommy [02:29:51]:
Well, I have to ask myself, see the role tomorrow. E. If I wake up tomorrow and I think to myself, okay, now it's time to read a book. But my intuition says no. Now it's time, like, for. For you to actually make something. But the doubt in me says, nah, that's just not going to happen, or it's such a waste of time, then I'm doing myself an injustice. Big time.
Tommy [02:30:13]:
Big time.
Mike [02:30:14]:
Do you have a fear of succeeding or.
Tommy [02:30:15]:
No, I have a fear of not being true to myself.
Mike [02:30:20]:
But you're actually living that.
Tommy [02:30:22]:
Yeah, I am being true to myself.
Mike [02:30:24]:
You're not.
Eldar [02:30:24]:
That's the thing. That's why you chose.
Tommy [02:30:25]:
To a great extent. I think to a great extent, I.
Mike [02:30:27]:
Am being true at all. You have a desire to be an artist, but you mucking around with some.
Tommy [02:30:32]:
Well, look, I'm gonna say, like, some.
Eldar [02:30:34]:
Things, an artist that he is actually, he is already being that. See, the thing is, sometimes create anything.
Tommy [02:30:41]:
Sometimes Mike, the lesson, lesson, the lesson sometimes comes to me as, as very basic. Sometimes the lesson comes to me as if I'm still like, totally, you know, as if I'm a kid. It's not fascinating, bro.
Eldar [02:30:55]:
He doesn't even have to try. That's the whole point. That's, that's it. If that shit comes to you naturally.
Toliy [02:31:03]:
But does anybody who is that way believe that? Like, like Mike's guy, by asking?
Mike [02:31:12]:
Yeah.
Eldar [02:31:12]:
Hmm. Oh, I think he knows.
Mike [02:31:16]:
He knows what? The fame.
Tommy [02:31:18]:
Let me ask you guys, right? Oh, remember this? What?
Eldar [02:31:21]:
I took time somebody discovered how somebody got it.
Tommy [02:31:25]:
You remember what I asked the server yesterday? Mike, you remember what I asked the.
Eldar [02:31:30]:
Server yesterday and the fee to be his agent right now is good. So he really gets known. It's time to sign now, would you allow us to be your agent?
Tommy [02:31:40]:
In what sense?
Mike [02:31:41]:
Like represent you? We're gonna get you projects.
Tommy [02:31:46]:
You guys are gonna sell me on this thing and then sell me to human pets, maybe a little weirdo in.
Eldar [02:31:50]:
His apartment, but, you know, this camera.
Tommy [02:31:51]:
Isn'T, my name is Giovanni, but my friends called me George. Giovanni. George Giovanni.
Eldar [02:31:57]:
Would you not pay nothing for someone?
Tommy [02:32:00]:
Wait, question. Yesterday, remember to ask the server.
Eldar [02:32:05]:
Yeah, like, imagine he comes in, brings his stuff to somebody's apartment. Somebody's watching him do all this.
Tommy [02:32:11]:
You know, is it possible, is it possible to be unhappy doing what you love? Is it possible to be unhappy doing what you love? I think you proved it.
Eldar [02:32:24]:
It's impossible, Tom.
Tommy [02:32:25]:
I mean, you play basketball, you love basketball.
Eldar [02:32:28]:
That's bullshit. I've come to find out that I have a very unhealthy relationship with basketball, actually.
Mike [02:32:32]:
A very unhealthy, yes, Keon likes basketball when everything lines up perfectly.
Toliy [02:32:36]:
Yeah.
Eldar [02:32:37]:
You know what I'm saying?
Mike [02:32:38]:
But now when it's just basketball, I.
Eldar [02:32:40]:
Get hurt all the time. I get overwhelmed. I get all this other shit, like my body's all, you know?
Tommy [02:32:45]:
So there's a huge difference with having a stating and unhealthy relationship.
Eldar [02:32:50]:
I've been and then telling myself snake oil this whole time about my relationship with basketball is what I'm telling you. Yes, I love playing basketball, but the way I perform in it now is actually not love at all. And I'm working on that now. I'm trying to do better for myself in it. And this thing, that's basketball, that's supposed to be my love, my best, favorite sport.
Tommy [02:33:11]:
Okay? So, all right, so now, like, in a way, I was wrong. I do, I do think about my relationship with art. So let me just put it that way. I think about my relationship.
Eldar [02:33:20]:
That's the thing. You like. Wait, you put an art on top of art. Like that's. That negates itself. You know what I'm saying? You can't take the paint, can't draw the canvas. And that is what you're trying to do. Do.
Eldar [02:33:34]:
I'm writing that down. I'm writing that down. Tom, I'm gonna buy you the shirt. The paint cannot. Cannot create or draw.
Toliy [02:33:46]:
Draw the canvas.
Eldar [02:33:47]:
Draw the canvas.
Tommy [02:33:49]:
Does that really make sense?
Eldar [02:33:51]:
Exactly. That's what you. That's what.
Toliy [02:33:53]:
Exactly.
Eldar [02:33:54]:
That's what makes sense.
Toliy [02:33:56]:
What you're doing doesn't make sense.
Eldar [02:33:57]:
You are art already.
Toliy [02:33:58]:
You are the art. Trying to create art. Yes.
Eldar [02:34:01]:
Doesn't make any sense.
Toliy [02:34:03]:
It's like Kanye song trying to.
Tommy [02:34:04]:
Guys, you're gonna have to explain it to me. I have no idea what the fuck you talking.
Eldar [02:34:08]:
Your cognitive dissonance, your contradiction. You're walking contradiction when you say that you want to create art, you are art.
Tommy [02:34:16]:
And I agreed, so why would I.
Eldar [02:34:19]:
Why would I. So why would you. Critical.
Tommy [02:34:22]:
It's not hypocritical, is it?
Eldar [02:34:24]:
Trying to pursue creating art when you're already art.
Tommy [02:34:29]:
So, I mean, the thing is. Yes, I am a creation. Right?
Toliy [02:34:33]:
You're like girling mistake and then trying to figure out how to microwave.
Eldar [02:34:37]:
Yeah. Yeah. You're fascinating.
Tommy [02:34:42]:
I mean, I think I should create that. This is why I studied.
Eldar [02:34:46]:
That is your downswing.
Toliy [02:34:47]:
That's your downfall.
Eldar [02:34:48]:
Yeah.
Toliy [02:34:48]:
He's saying that you already are created. You are created.
Tommy [02:34:51]:
Agreed. Settled. Let's say skin. Skin in the game. That's it. Yeah. I mean, look, guys, it is kind of new for me. No? Isn't this the first time I'm saying, guys, you know, I'm kind of on the edge here without sounding like a fucking complete nut.
Eldar [02:35:08]:
No, you're fine, actually. I think you do better than ever in that sense. There's a lot of clarity here, and it's clear in us ct.
Tommy [02:35:17]:
So what this is. Is like this, like, you know, like the rocket booster has, like. It has many components. Right? Now, maybe it's just the tip. Yeah, but you still got to build a huge fucking rocket booster.
Eldar [02:35:29]:
Okay.
Tommy [02:35:30]:
I mean, it's difficult. What can I say?
Eldar [02:35:33]:
It doesn't have to be.
Tommy [02:35:34]:
Sometimes I wake up and I'm like, it. Does this go towards where I want to go?
Mike [02:35:38]:
Yeah.
Tommy [02:35:39]:
And that. That's easy. And that's a shit feeling. Yeah. Shit feeling. Not know.
Eldar [02:35:43]:
Just have to let them in, Tom. Let the world in.
Tommy [02:35:47]:
Well, yes. And no, see? No, yeah.
Eldar [02:35:49]:
Like, why. Why are you holding yourself away from the world? Can you explain that to me?
Toliy [02:35:53]:
That's a question.
Tommy [02:35:55]:
Um. Okay, so I can think of, like, a number of reasons.
Eldar [02:35:59]:
I think one.
Tommy [02:36:02]:
One kind of has to do with. I don't know how to accomplish what I want to accomplish. I'm sure you've heard that one before.
Eldar [02:36:08]:
I've said, yeah, you started with the ones that make a least sense. Go ahead.
Tommy [02:36:12]:
Um. Uh. I fear I may not have the funds to do what I want to do. That kind of should make sense. You should be able to read that already because they're like stuff. I'm always looking for things that I don't need. That's another. That's another.
Tommy [02:36:28]:
Which could be a payoff.
Eldar [02:36:30]:
It doesn't answer the question.
Tommy [02:36:31]:
Um, one for two. What else? What else? Um. He's hiding because I'm blocked. You know, I guess that one of the reasons why I haven't made a film is because I'm blocked. But that's not to say that I. I don't have one. I could potentially work on. Like, I've written a script.
Tommy [02:36:47]:
I worked on it a bit. I wouldn't say I worked on it much, which I could probably do. I think I could. I could probably either toss that shit out or make a new one or work on it in a way.
Toliy [02:37:00]:
But others say that you are the film, Tom.
Eldar [02:37:03]:
Why are you holding yourself away from the world? Why are you. Why are you depriving the people from you, from yourself?
Tommy [02:37:11]:
Like I said, I don't necessarily care about really myself. Like, in terms of. I'm more modest today than I was before. I think. I think that's a lesson I've had to learn. Yes. It feels good to know yourself, right? To be self aware and to, like, have more precision in, like, your decision making. But it's also.
Tommy [02:37:27]:
It also sucks to be alone. Like, sucks to be sad, which is what I've learned. I've learned. I don't know, maybe I. Maybe I'm compartmentalizing it a little bit because I'm thinking about things in terms of, like, past, present and whatever. Past and present. Like, dividing that time. Yes.
Tommy [02:37:46]:
Like, earlier, I was more concerned about myself because in my, like, recovery from drugs, I wanted to think that I was different than the person I was before. I wanted to, like, bury the old, the past, shitty decision making. Like, that's why I felt alone, because I could connect with nobody who would not want some sense of the truth of the person that I am.
Eldar [02:38:12]:
And you discriminated against them.
Tommy [02:38:16]:
Look, they're there. What's that movie where, like, those kids, like, you know, Power Rangers. No, they can. It's a wild movie, but those kids, they kick a cart down a subway thing, and they kill a guy, and they end up in a. They end up in, like, a juvenile detention center where I think it's a true story, where one of them was abused. And I think later, I can't remember what happened with the person, but maybe something. Something happened after that. I mean, that's a great start to story.
Tommy [02:38:51]:
And because it, you know, it has some, um. Had some escalation, but, like. Yeah, I'm getting a little lost here.
Eldar [02:39:02]:
That's all right. You were gonna answer the question, but you didn't.
Tommy [02:39:05]:
What was the question?
Eldar [02:39:06]:
Why are you holding yourself away from the world? Why are you depriving the people of that which you are?
Tommy [02:39:14]:
I mean, those are the only reasons that I had. Okay. The only reason I had was, like, finance smarts and blocks being blocked, basically.
Eldar [02:39:24]:
Um, sorry, world back into the jar to marinate longer.
Toliy [02:39:32]:
Yep.
Eldar [02:39:34]:
This sauerkraut is not ready yet. We got. We're gonna continue pickling. We'll try our best to speed up the process. If you want to speed up the process, it might cost you. Right. Yeah. You know, name your price.
Eldar [02:39:50]:
Let me know. So maybe there'll be a kick. Kickback.
Toliy [02:39:55]:
Put his PTC address in the description.
Eldar [02:39:59]:
Yes.
Tommy [02:40:04]:
Yeah. I mean, yo, I think I'm just tired.
Toliy [02:40:06]:
Like.
Tommy [02:40:06]:
Yeah, I don't know. I just forgot what I was saying. It's so wild.
Eldar [02:40:10]:
It's all right, man.
Tommy [02:40:11]:
But, you know, um, any final thoughts?
Eldar [02:40:15]:
Anybody or any tom you want to. Let's just wait on Mike. Any final thoughts, maybe on this? What do you guys. How do you guys feel about that? Well, did we do a good job? Why would somebody rely on external factors to achieve happiness? Huh? Crazy.
Mike [02:40:29]:
Because they're not empowered, right?
Eldar [02:40:31]:
You don't believe in yourself. Yeah.
Mike [02:40:32]:
Same with what was happening right now with Tommy.
Eldar [02:40:34]:
So then. So then. Yeah. It's like. It's fear, right?
Tommy [02:40:39]:
No, I wouldn't say it's true. I wouldn't say it's true. I know that, like, some things I do is. Are difficult, you know?
Mike [02:40:46]:
So I don't know why. Like, not buying itself is fear based.
Eldar [02:40:50]:
Yeah. Has to be.
Mike [02:40:52]:
Or is it.
Eldar [02:40:54]:
It is.
Mike [02:40:56]:
Is it appropriate, though? Maybe.
Eldar [02:40:58]:
Not sure if it's appropriate now, but.
Toliy [02:41:00]:
I mean, it can just be a lack of understanding of how, like, things work. No.
Mike [02:41:04]:
Maybe because you don't know how you're buying yourself.
Eldar [02:41:06]:
Yeah.
Toliy [02:41:06]:
The only reason that, that someone would. Yeah. The only reason that someone would rely on external factors for happiness is if they know no other way.
Eldar [02:41:16]:
If they know no other way. Sure, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Toliy [02:41:23]:
I think that, like, the, the curse of never, of not examining is to never get what you want.
Eldar [02:41:31]:
Curses on examination, never get what you want.
Toliy [02:41:34]:
Yeah, yeah, because also examining is like the, the process is not easy and.
Eldar [02:41:42]:
Yeah, well, yeah, because examining calls for a change of behavior.
Toliy [02:41:45]:
Yeah.
Eldar [02:41:46]:
So, and unfortunately, the behavior is rooted a lot of times, you know, we could sit here and believe in something all we want. Yeah, but if the behavior doesn't change to. We're still being driven. Yeah.
Toliy [02:41:58]:
We're supposed to believe on external factors and we're supposed to be let down by those external factors.
Eldar [02:42:04]:
Yeah.
Toliy [02:42:05]:
We're supposed to put our eggs into the refs baskets until we believe that, empower ourselves.
Eldar [02:42:13]:
Yeah.
Toliy [02:42:13]:
Yeah.
Eldar [02:42:14]:
So I shouldn't believe that. Yeah.
Toliy [02:42:15]:
Until we pick up the refs and put them into our basket.
Eldar [02:42:17]:
That's right.
Tommy [02:42:18]:
That's wild. Yeah. That's some serious wisdom right there.
Eldar [02:42:22]:
Yep. I agree with that.
Toliy [02:42:25]:
Like that would be the only reason. Right? Like which, which one to. Why would you rely on your, like. Yeah, because you have no. Their options. Like, you understand.
Eldar [02:42:36]:
Definitely. But again, you know, but then you go down the rabbit hole, like, why do you have enough options? Right.
Toliy [02:42:41]:
Well, yeah, but that's what I'm saying is that, like, that self inquiry that you're talking about is not like sold out of, is not made, not readily available. Yeah. So it's like, yeah, you're supposed to get angry with the roughs if you don't know any other way to be happy.
Eldar [02:42:56]:
Yeah. So it's why. Because then you go blanket and say you are ignorant. You said you're ignorant of anything else or any other choices that you might, that might exist.
Toliy [02:43:07]:
Well, because if there was, even, you.
Eldar [02:43:09]:
Started this conversation, said, I know that the refs don't call for us. We can upset. You knew.
Toliy [02:43:17]:
No, yeah, but not in the moment.
Eldar [02:43:19]:
But you see. Yeah, no, no, there's a switch. There's a choice still being made somewhere in there. Makes a choice. The value proposition, what he values, you know, his friends winning, him winning, whoever winning needs to be as to why he then chooses to close his mind on external factors. And I think ultimately it's a, it's a good cop out, bro.
Tommy [02:43:42]:
Yeah.
Toliy [02:43:42]:
I mean, we all feel good cop out better when we are able to take, like, when we get to that point where we can control like. Yeah, there is a sick feeling that you get that you. Like when you realize that you can control of what you thought was one. Like, at one point, not controllable.
Eldar [02:44:01]:
Yeah.
Toliy [02:44:03]:
It's like a liberating feeling.
Eldar [02:44:06]:
Yeah.
Toliy [02:44:06]:
And then when that happens, you. You can't go back to the other way.
Eldar [02:44:10]:
Like, it's like, you can't. Yeah.
Toliy [02:44:11]:
You can't. Yeah. You should continue pursuing. Thinking. Yeah. You should continue, like, continue thinking. Pursuing that you have a choice in the matter. Only up until you know.
Eldar [02:44:25]:
Well, Tom, this shit was insightful, wasn't it?
Tommy [02:44:27]:
Hell, yeah. I liked my final word on this is I felt that, Tom, like, they didn't have to be distinct, you know? Didn't be discreet.
Toliy [02:44:36]:
Yeah.
Tommy [02:44:36]:
They started work together again. Question. That's pretty cool.
Mike [02:44:40]:
Yeah.
Eldar [02:44:44]:
Within one podcast, Tom, want to remind you, you took us on a movie. We just saw a movie.
Mike [02:44:49]:
Yeah.
Tommy [02:44:50]:
Cool.
Eldar [02:44:50]:
It's because of you, Tom.
Toliy [02:44:52]:
You set up art in a bunch of sick national parks.
Eldar [02:44:55]:
You understand?
Toliy [02:44:56]:
Waterfall droplets.
Eldar [02:44:58]:
It was amazing, Tom. We want to thank you for that.
Tommy [02:45:02]:
Thank you, guys.
Eldar [02:45:03]:
Yeah.
Tommy [02:45:04]:
Awesome.
Eldar [02:45:04]:
And we're only able to do that is because you were being honest with us.
Tommy [02:45:07]:
I thought it was fucking Wednesday. Can you believe that?
Eldar [02:45:09]:
You see that?
Toliy [02:45:11]:
You took us on a two day adventure.
Tommy [02:45:13]:
Yeah, I really thought it was Wednesday today.
Eldar [02:45:16]:
Yeah. That's fascinating. See, like, people would want to know that. Like, here we are.
Toliy [02:45:20]:
I was in two days.
Eldar [02:45:22]:
Yeah. You, like, two days behind. They would want to know how you came up with that. Like, the workings of your mind. Like, it's. It's incredible.
Tommy [02:45:29]:
Right. But, you know, without you telling me that.
Eldar [02:45:32]:
Can you reflect on that? Without know.
Tommy [02:45:33]:
Without you telling me that, people would want to know that. Yeah, I wouldn't. I wouldn't have known. But I think. But I did say it. I did say.
Eldar [02:45:43]:
Yeah, that's what I said. The only way I can see the movie, the way the movie is, is because you giving me honest feedback and honest information.
Toliy [02:45:50]:
Yeah. It's like me saying, damn, I thought it was.
Tommy [02:45:51]:
So you're saying, like, the next one, the next Friday after next is gonna be what is gonna be Friday, not Wednesday.
Eldar [02:46:03]:
Think about. Yeah.
Tommy [02:46:04]:
Come on.
Eldar [02:46:05]:
It's the same glitch that you had when we were eating, right? You were telling a story.
Toliy [02:46:08]:
Yeah.
Eldar [02:46:09]:
You forgot what you were telling me. You forgot the salad that we ordered. Yeah. Then you couldn't back. Go back to the story. Something was going on, and you let me in on that. I'm gonna have an amazing time.
Toliy [02:46:18]:
Yeah.
Eldar [02:46:19]:
You know what I'm saying?
Toliy [02:46:20]:
Yeah. There. Yeah, there was definitely a place that I was going.
Eldar [02:46:23]:
Yeah. So, you know, and I think that's the fascinating part of us being us and when we are ourselves being true with ourselves, that's who we are. I think that's fucking art, bro. That's better than any fucking painting or any other bullshit, bro. You're living art. Like. Like, you know what I'm saying? Moving, living are like. Yeah, what the fuck? That's priceless, bro.
Eldar [02:46:43]:
Your existence alone is. This is a phenomenon. That's why, like, this, everywhere you've been, I'm telling you, it's gonna be like a, like digging for dinosaurs, Tom. They're gonna be digging for you, man. That's crazy.
Toliy [02:46:58]:
Tom stepped here, essentially.
Mike [02:46:59]:
What?
Eldar [02:46:59]:
Yeah.
Tommy [02:47:00]:
We're all doing.
Eldar [02:47:01]:
Right? Yeah. Everything that you wearing.
Tommy [02:47:12]:
Yeah. I mean, if you.
Eldar [02:47:13]:
But the only way this works, obviously, guys. Only where it works. Tom, there's only one kicker.
Tommy [02:47:17]:
What is it?
Eldar [02:47:19]:
You have to be honest with yourself. Otherwise there's no movie.
Tommy [02:47:24]:
I am quite honest with myself. You know, it's not. It hasn't been easy at all, but it's not.
Eldar [02:47:29]:
Bring it to the world. Be honest with the world.
Tommy [02:47:30]:
Fucking rewarding. Like, you know, I mean, in a way.
Eldar [02:47:34]:
No other way, Tom.
Tommy [02:47:36]:
Yeah, yeah, I.
Eldar [02:47:38]:
There's any final thoughts?
Toliy [02:47:41]:
No. I mean, I think that's like a huge. A huge thing to focus on is to, like, the. The process of not. Of removing external factors from your happiness. You know? I think that that will, like, big undertaking. Well, I think that that will lead you to raising a lot of questions. Yeah, that's all that you need in life.
Eldar [02:48:06]:
Mmm. That's interesting. Wow.
Tommy [02:48:08]:
Wait, could you say. What did he say?
Eldar [02:48:10]:
He said all you need in life is to start raising a lot of questions. That's crazy. Well, all you need is life is to start raising a lot of questions. Because through raising questions, you. You have a natural curiosity. Right. If you're raising questions, like, you're not asking a question like, okay, so what's two plus two? Like. No.
Eldar [02:48:28]:
Like, no, what's two plus two? I really don't know. Right.
Toliy [02:48:31]:
Yeah.
Eldar [02:48:32]:
If you get into that whole mode. Yeah, that's. You will find.
Toliy [02:48:35]:
Yeah.
Eldar [02:48:36]:
Yeah.
Tommy [02:48:37]:
Right, right.
Eldar [02:48:38]:
That suck right there, bro.
Tommy [02:48:40]:
Well, there's. See, there are other ways. See, I mean, like, if you ask questions, being that one person who is gonna go nuts after the first refs call, there may be. Your line of questioning is, like, faulty. Maybe your logic is a little bit, you know, off.
Eldar [02:48:56]:
You might be off completely.
Tommy [02:48:58]:
Right.
Eldar [02:48:58]:
Yeah.
Tommy [02:48:59]:
But if you have that more mindful way of finding, like, what's the question I want to ask? And I like and then believe that you can move in that direction, not having that expectation of those external factors in any way. Like then. Yeah. Then you start to move in one step in the right direction.
Eldar [02:49:19]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Toliy [02:49:22]:
That's why I said this like, like a while ago. Like like, I think the goal is just to, like, overall, like, because I don't think you can ever be sure exactly what. But the go. I think the goal is just to find out, you know? But I think what that what you're finding out, I think that that's, like, the fluid part that, like, changes as you find out.
Eldar [02:49:43]:
Yeah. You know? All right, cool.
Tommy [02:49:47]:
Booyaka shah.
Eldar [02:49:48]:
I said everybody's good. I think this was great. Tom.
48. Navigating External Influences and Achieving True Happiness
Dec 16, 2022•3 hr 50 min•Ep. 48
Episode description
How do external factors and internal conflicts impact the realization of one's potential and the pursuit of artistic and personal goals?
In Episode 48 of Dennis Rox, Eldar, Toliy, and Mike, and their guest Tommy dive deep into the intricate balance between untapped potential and perceived wasted talent. They grapple with the notion that the world might not be deserving of a unique individual who could rival the impact of icons like Michael Jordan or Kanye West if only their full potential was realized. Eldar paints a vivid picture of this individual as a "diamond in the rough," emphasizing the latent talent being stifled by external pressures and fears, as well as the individual's internal conflict between creative passions and conventional paths like academia.
Furthermore, the conversation traverses broader themes of personal growth, emphasizing the necessity of "the click," or breakthrough moments that inspire action. Denis and Eldar grapple with the importance of internal motivation versus external validation, with the guest highlighting a recurring struggle with self-doubt and societal expectations. The dialogues also delve into complex reflections on friendship, integrity, and the role of critical thinking in life decisions, all while humorously contemplating the unique essence of their companion Tom, who embodies art simply through his existence. The episode provocatively challenges listeners to reflect on their own lives, asking the pivotal question: How can one overcome doubt and leverage internal potential to pursue their true path unapologetically?
Transcript
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