Vemir [00:00:00]:
On this week's episode, two people I look up to, Kanye West, Elon Musk. I don't want to vaccinate my kids or I don't want to like have them eat gluten. I don't want to live in Ohio.
Joe [00:00:10]:
I'm going to let go of the detachments and the control that I want to have over that. And I'm going to say, let's let love prevail.
Vemir [00:00:18]:
Most people don't even love themselves, don't even know themselves, and they're out there seeking love. It's like two beggars of love pretending that the other person's an emperor. You think the person's an emperor, emperor of love giving it to you. They think that you're an emperor of love giving it to them. Once you find out you're both beggars crumbles. Right. If you understand how powerful it is to increase others awareness, to awaken others, then you have a responsibility to awaken yourself. So like, what is love? Baby, don't hurt me.
Vemir [00:00:50]:
That song.
Eldar [00:01:04]:
What we're gonna do is we're gonna answer a question. We're gonna try to answer a question. Mm. That a person posed. Right. One of the Facebook groups that I'm in.
Mike [00:01:11]:
Yes.
Eldar [00:01:11]:
Okay. And let's see, because I think that's actually ties to what we're talking about just now about the whole politics thing and how, you know, two couples can be on, you know, in love and be living together or whatever. And the next thing you know, there's a topic that there maybe have different opinions on. Completely divide them. Right. I think there's a perfect segment to this question that hopefully you guys can help answer and participate in and this person get a little bit of clarity. This is the question. Okay.
Eldar [00:01:36]:
And I'll explain to you what, you know, each, each thing means because I read the same books. Any advice on bringing one's existing partner on the path of creating kin's domain or helping align visions of co creation? So kin's domain is the concept in Anastasia books where, let's say a small little community of people get together. They buy a plot of land and they, you know, build a home in certain type of way. They raise the kids in certain type of way. They have almost like a communal living situation where they live, you know, in accordance of how Anastasia described, you know, a particular living in the book.
Mike [00:02:10]:
It's like minded community of lifestyle choice.
Eldar [00:02:13]:
Okay. I guess. So she's asking any advice on bringing one's existing partner on the path of creating a kin's domain or helping align visions of co creation. Some context. I've been exploring creating a school and building a homestead for some time prior to discovering the Ringing Cedars. Those are the books which have only strengthened my desires and dreams. Admittedly, the last two years have been difficult for my husband and I to see eye to eye on many subjects. We have two young children, three year old and one year old.
Eldar [00:02:42]:
I love my husband dearly. I'm just having trouble getting our visions to align. I would like a kin's domain, a homesteading of sorts and to homeschool or build a school for our children and others children. I have all the resources to start the school. I'm in the Montreal area, Canada. But not my husband's. But not my husband's support which has put a pause on the project. His vision seems to be one of aligning to the government objectives like electric cars, modern schools and the general status quo.
Eldar [00:03:10]:
All advice and suggestions are welcome. So I asked her whether or not she would like for us to kind of, you know, get into this topic, you know, try to answer her question. And she said yeah, absolutely, that'd be nice, you know, because the dilemma I think, you know, you know, the political problem that some, some couples or many couples do face on other topics and stuff like that can divide. Right. Individuals. But I think this kind of probably relates to also some sort of division, right?
Mike [00:03:38]:
Yeah. Yeah.
Eldar [00:03:39]:
What do you guys think?
Joe [00:03:41]:
I think that like co parenting is tough in itself and then having two different people thinking about, you know, how they want to see things for their children if they don't, don't align, it's going to be like a hard battle for the two of them. But I think that if their morals align and their ethics align, it wouldn't be too hard to compromise on certain things like schooling, how they want, like whether it's public or private, homeschool. Those are all things you could, you could put on a table, discuss what the pros and cons are, weigh them out, even put them on a chart like, you know, aboard a board so you could see it. And sometimes just talking amongst yourself, it's very hard to be objective or have any nuance to it because you know, you're subject to things that might trigger you in an argument. You have a short fuse on certain things. If you have a mediator running it by someone who either a might be in the educational system that can give you some feedback, or someone who's done that before is homeschooled, who's tried all three options, some Type of mediator or someone coming from a place of experience. Also, therapy has helped my relationship. So having someone from outside of your relationship not having any type of influence on someone's thoughts or situation can give their input and the two people in their relationship can sit back and finally see outside of the box rather than them being inside on their own.
Eldar [00:05:15]:
Yeah, but how does that help with like, you know, like you say, hey, like there's a third. Maybe we can invite a third person into this whole thing and kind of mediate the whole thing. But like, she, for example, specifically has a vision.
Joe [00:05:26]:
Right.
Eldar [00:05:26]:
She talks about that. I have a vision. Right. So it's almost like maybe she's taking a stance of a more person who maybe has some kind of expertise in this area where like she wants to do it a particular way. So there's no third person that's going to be able to come in and say, hey, you know what, why don't you try the middle ground? Right. Because the vision is the vision.
Joe [00:05:45]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:05:45]:
Sometimes when you attach yourself to a vision. Right. Or desire or an outcome or goal. Right. It is hard to let go of certain attachments.
Joe [00:05:52]:
Yeah, but that sounds like it's her way or the highway, the way you're playing it out. Like that's her vision and she doesn't want to steer away from you. I think that, like, that's great. That's her vision. But if that's not his vision, there has to be some type of agreement, a compromise, something where they both can like accept or agree how they want the children to be educated.
Eldar [00:06:15]:
Yeah.
Joe [00:06:15]:
It can't. I mean, it can't just be her, her way.
Mike [00:06:19]:
I think, I think her vision is much bigger than just her and her family. You know, I think her, like, I think what she's trying to do is a huge thing, but you know, potentially she's trying to like spread, make a whole community. But I think the. I don't know.
Eldar [00:06:38]:
Well, remember, I think this way it's a big change. Remember that? It's a huge change. Right. Where the husband believes one way. Right. Regular society, the status quo that she mentioned. And she wants to do homesteading, you know, and have a different kind of schooling, different kind of raising of the kids, the, you know, growing food, you know, and living, you know, kind of off the grid. Let's just picture.
Eldar [00:06:58]:
I mean, maybe it's not off the grid, but let's just look at it. It's two different things.
Mike [00:07:01]:
Yeah, it's different. It's a fundamentally. It's fundamentally the board like, completely different.
Eldar [00:07:06]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:07:06]:
You know, so it's not like, oh, you like. Like, I guess you don't like politics, I guess. Is that. Can you say that's a fundamental part of a person thing, like who you are politically? Is that also a fundamental thing?
Eldar [00:07:19]:
It could be. It depends how much you're attached to it.
Mike [00:07:21]:
Right, right.
Eldar [00:07:22]:
How much you're attached to it. Yeah. Like, if that's. That's all she lives and breathes every single day. Right. That's almost who she is as a person.
Mike [00:07:29]:
Right.
Eldar [00:07:29]:
How much is it that of that is embodied in her as a person? Right. If it is that deep. Right. Maybe she can't let go of that attachment. Yeah.
Mike [00:07:40]:
My thing is, like, in her situation, I think it's. It's tricky one, because if you're really into it and like, she's bought into it and she's about that life, I don't think she. She can or she should drop it because I guess the beliefs that I have, that. That kind of life or, you know, that's what she's talking about sounds like to her that's rooted in truth, you know, how. So it was definitely rooted in her truth. But I also think that it's rooted in truth as far as, like, how.
Eldar [00:08:11]:
Do you know she'll do a good job raising kids at home?
Mike [00:08:13]:
I don't. I don't know.
Eldar [00:08:15]:
But, but, but then you saying it's truth, it's a. I think it's an assumption.
Mike [00:08:18]:
Yeah, right. It is an assumption.
Eldar [00:08:21]:
She might say, hey, like, this is my vision. This is what we should do. Because, you know, and I have these reasons as to why. Yeah, but how do we know the outcomes of those. Of those.
Mike [00:08:28]:
We don't go.
Joe [00:08:29]:
That's similar to, like, medicine. When people choose western medicine and then holistic, and they're like, there's two ways to tackle it. And people are, you know, very, very strict on certain things where they don't want. Like, let's say cancer, cancer patients, for example. They. Some people are totally against. What's the term when you chemo? And then they're like, no, I'll never do chemo. Chemo is the worst thing for you.
Joe [00:08:57]:
I'd rather try something holistic. But that's never promised the success. And people going the alternative route is that risk of it not working.
Eldar [00:09:06]:
Yeah.
Joe [00:09:07]:
So you always have to weigh, like, what will your decision be? You know, and then when it's. When it's on an individual basis, like if I had cancer and I wanted to make the decision for myself, you could do that. But if, like, if my parents had it and I want to make the decision for my parents and it goes on my belief or my mindset about it.
Eldar [00:09:27]:
Yeah.
Joe [00:09:27]:
You know, when you're involving other people's will, other people's future is other people's.
Eldar [00:09:34]:
Life because they have two kids together.
Joe [00:09:35]:
Yeah. And now. So prior to them having two kids together, was any of this discussed? Did they want to have two kids? Did that, was that discussed? Did they even want to have children? So you start like peeling back each layer, which can complicate things.
Eldar [00:09:49]:
Yeah.
Joe [00:09:49]:
So if off the gate, you know, out of the gates when they started the relationship, if those fundamentals were never laid out, you know, and planning with each other, then you piling on, you're piling on these, these complex layers that conflict with how you want to go about things because they were never predetermined beforehand. So now you're dealing with things after the fact.
Eldar [00:10:13]:
Yeah.
Joe [00:10:14]:
And things are coming fast, they're getting older. It's like things start moving.
Eldar [00:10:17]:
Yeah.
Joe [00:10:18]:
And before you know it, decisions have to be made, you know, and if you've never done something in the past, never homeschooled, you were never homeschooled, you have no experience, you know, then there's maybe like the husband's part is he's a little conservative in the fact that doesn't want it to fail. It doesn't want to have these children come up two, three, four years into it and realize that they're behind and you know, they're taking away from the.
Eldar [00:10:39]:
Children whatever fears he might have, whatever.
Joe [00:10:41]:
You know, so it's kind of hard to take matters into your own hands and say, this is how we're going to do it. And I feel like if you're going to co parent, you're going to be in a relationship, it has to be a compromise or a, a settlement, an agreement where, you know, both people could be happy with the decisions and you have to maybe somehow it, it's hard to do like a one way type option, like take it or leave it, you know. Well, what could happen is he might not want to be with her anymore because of it.
Eldar [00:11:15]:
Absolutely.
Joe [00:11:15]:
And then I think.
Eldar [00:11:16]:
And then what's going to happen then with the kids? Right.
Joe [00:11:18]:
Then it's a custody battle. And then it's like, you know what?
Eldar [00:11:21]:
Stress.
Joe [00:11:21]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:11:22]:
I mean it's a lot of stress. It's a lot of problems, you know, and all this other stuff.
Joe [00:11:25]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:11:25]:
That comes with it.
Joe [00:11:26]:
I mean, it's, it. They're not she's not asking him to live a completely different life, move to a farm and quit his job and.
Eldar [00:11:34]:
Well, I think that's. I think that's. But I think that's how radical this might. This type of choice is, though, Joe.
Joe [00:11:39]:
Yeah. I mean, if it is that radical, then big changes are to come. I feel it's almost like one day I just want to pick up religion when me and my wife are not religious.
Eldar [00:11:51]:
Mm.
Joe [00:11:51]:
And I want to start indoctrination.
Eldar [00:11:52]:
You became. Now you want to become celibate.
Joe [00:11:54]:
Yeah. Or anything.
Eldar [00:11:55]:
Yeah.
Joe [00:11:56]:
It's a. It's a huge life change.
Eldar [00:11:58]:
Mm.
Joe [00:11:58]:
And. And to.
Eldar [00:12:00]:
It would be unfair as.
Joe [00:12:01]:
I think so.
Eldar [00:12:02]:
Yeah. No, you're right. If there was no prior, like you said, before the kids, before the marriage, let's just say even. Right. The agreement of coming together if the two people didn't really share themselves, share these visions and these dreams. Right. Because if they sat down on the first day and said, okay, cool, look, I want to homeschool kids. I want to have a homestead, I want to do all this.
Eldar [00:12:17]:
And now the guy. The other side is like, nope, I want to do, you know, regular stuff, status quo stuff. Then you just go your separate ways. Right. But maybe she pick it up. Picked up these books, read them.
Mike [00:12:27]:
You know, I assume that she's been about this life, so it's definitely wrong. I was wrong. I don't know. She's been about this life. But yeah, if they met and this was talked about, then it's. I think it's, you know, different case versus now. All of a sudden, now she wants to put this in. Yeah.
Mike [00:12:47]:
Like, is it also tricky?
Eldar [00:12:48]:
Is a new installment right into the relationship like Joe said? Or is it something that has been talked about and now she's kind of like, hey, like, hey, remember, this is what I talked about. This is what I actually wanted to do. And this is part of my dream that I always wanted to do. And then I can see how we can. Then the hummingbird on the husband's side. We can ask for compromise.
Mike [00:13:04]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:13:04]:
We're like, hey, you know, kind of like, this is my dream is what I always wanted to do. And I told you about this. Right. But springing up a new religion, for example.
Mike [00:13:10]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:13:11]:
Can be a. Can be a deal.
Mike [00:13:14]:
Do you think that if she's been about it and if she's been about it, could she have never told them about it?
Eldar [00:13:22]:
Impossible. Because, I mean, I know how the books at least, you know, influenced me.
Mike [00:13:27]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:13:28]:
Right. And I still told as they Talk about them and some of the concepts that were talked about there and they're beautiful and they're great. Right. In my personal experience, I found that finding kind of the middle ground between that type of lifestyle and the status quo suits me the best. Right, right. Yeah. But obviously everyone, you know, gets motivated differently. Everybody wants to achieve something different.
Mike [00:13:52]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:13:52]:
So in her case, it's clearly. She's clearly on the side of. Let's, let's read this again real quick. Any advice on bringing one's existing partner on the path of creating kin's domain? Right. So she set out to say, hey, this is my, this is my goal. This is what I want to do. And I want to kind of convert him.
Mike [00:14:07]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:14:07]:
Right. Towards this, this type of lifestyle.
Mike [00:14:11]:
Yeah. Yeah. It's a tricky situation because we don't know the background of how soon this is for her. And has he known about this? You know, it's a. Very.
Eldar [00:14:19]:
Well, how would you tackle it if you did?
Mike [00:14:21]:
If I knew?
Eldar [00:14:21]:
Yeah, if you knew.
Mike [00:14:22]:
If they both knew, like, if.
Eldar [00:14:24]:
Yeah, let's say they. Let's say let's tackle it with, you know, she did tell them about this before they met. Yeah. How would you tackle it then? And how would you tackle it if she didn't, like we could talk about.
Mike [00:14:34]:
It if she did talk. If she didn't know about this. I think it's, you know, if she said, hey, this is my dream before we have kids, I want to have them like this. I think. And he agreed to it. He has to, you know, he has to go with it, I think because he said he knew what it was if he, if he agreed to it and he continued the relationship. Continue to, you know, creating a family.
Eldar [00:14:56]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:14:57]:
And I think he's should support it.
Eldar [00:14:59]:
You know, I would say he would all. He would almost owe her.
Mike [00:15:03]:
Oh, her this in a way. Yeah.
Eldar [00:15:05]:
Right.
Mike [00:15:05]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:15:05]:
Because like if she, you know, she told him about this and he agreed with it, he went along with it. Right. For the future, that our dream is going to be this way.
Mike [00:15:12]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:15:13]:
She can easily ask him for like.
Mike [00:15:14]:
Hey, you know, ask. Yeah.
Joe [00:15:17]:
That's simple. But.
Eldar [00:15:18]:
That's pretty simple.
Joe [00:15:19]:
But by the way this is sounding, how do.
Eldar [00:15:20]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:15:21]:
How does one come by the way it sounds? Yeah.
Joe [00:15:23]:
But how does one come to convincing then. Then it's.
Eldar [00:15:27]:
It sounds like.
Joe [00:15:28]:
No, it's.
Eldar [00:15:29]:
It sounds like they probably got into a relationship. Right. She might have had kids already even. Right. And then came across the books. Right. Read them and she's like, whoa, this is awesome.
Mike [00:15:36]:
It does sound like it. Because a person who does what I read them, I don't think you could get a situation and just all of a sudden, oh, hi, yes. Who I am five years later without.
Joe [00:15:47]:
A cedar ring necklace. Before she met him, he would have asked about it. She would have been wanting to talk about these books the way most people do in that are very.
Mike [00:15:57]:
But we also don't know the foundation of the relationship right now. You know, how. How. No, no, That's a big part of your life. No, I'm not saying about the foundation in that sense. Like, when they were meeting, what were they talking about? Were they talking about these kind of things about their dreams, about love? Or was she like, you know, hammocking him into her love? Or was he the one who's creating the love? And what was that based on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, was she the one that was like, yeah, making her fall in love with him or she was falling in love with his ideas? You know?
Eldar [00:16:33]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:16:33]:
If she was saying all this stuff about, yo, this is what I'm dreaming about, like, this kind of beautiful lifestyle. And he was like, okay. And he signed up then.
Eldar [00:16:41]:
Yeah, Admittedly. Right. The last two years have been difficult for my husband and I to see eye to eye on many subjects.
Joe [00:16:49]:
So these last two years have been very special for a lot of people, though. Very, you know, change. Change a lot of people.
Eldar [00:16:55]:
That is so. Yeah.
Joe [00:16:57]:
You know, these last two years, I mean, people looking at the way public school is, the way the world is with politics.
Eldar [00:17:02]:
Yeah. All the shit that they're pushing. Yeah.
Joe [00:17:04]:
All that stuff. So this sounds like she's maybe running for the, you know, running for the fence, running for the door. Because everything that she seen the last two years has. Has not, you know, positively motivated her.
Eldar [00:17:18]:
Yeah.
Joe [00:17:19]:
To think like, this is. This is the way to live. This is the future. And maybe doesn't want to get deeper into it. Thing is, she's entitled to living the way she wants to live, the way she wants to be happy. And even though you're in a relationship, even though you're married and prior. Prior to. If it wasn't agreed upon, then it's sort of a situation where everyone has the right and ability to leave a situation if it's not going to work out for them.
Eldar [00:17:45]:
Yeah.
Joe [00:17:45]:
You know, you got to think about these kids. They're young ages, you know, so you should. You should factor in the repercussions of wanting to step out if it doesn't align with the way you want to move forward with your Life, but for the children's sake, you know, it sounds like this is kind of coexisting, like the way she wants to live and also the way she wants to raise the children. So it's a big. It's a big hurdle or step, you know, I say find common ground. Try to figure something out before you walk away. Because then things get even more dicey.
Eldar [00:18:21]:
Oh, look into the whole walk away part because she does mention, you know, in this next line, I love my husband dearly. Right. So there's love there too.
Joe [00:18:29]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:18:29]:
Right. So this is not what. And by asking this question, I think she's doing a really good job. Maybe, hopefully she's not jumping into this type of a conclusion. Right. Which is like, all right, if he's not lining up with my stuff, I'm just gonna leave. Hopefully it's not that kind of rash decision. And then kids and everybody else's lives are affected.
Eldar [00:18:44]:
Right. So she does say, I love my husband dearly. I'm just having trouble getting out visions to align. So it's almost like she's on this mission to have those visions aligned. Right.
Mike [00:18:55]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:18:56]:
So would you guys also talk about the attachments that she has towards this particular vision? And is the attachment a healthy one where, you know, if her husband is stuck in his ways. Right. And he needs a little bit of time to come around for something like this? Especially radical ideas like Anastasia's. Right. Yes. Which are beautiful ideas, by the way. I believe in them. Right.
Mike [00:19:18]:
Of course.
Eldar [00:19:18]:
However, you know, just to switch over just like overnight, it's. I know it's. It's difficult, you know, when it comes to all different, you know, aspects of life, you know, but now this, especially when you're with a partner who you're sharing two kids with, if you didn't share those two kids. Right. Maybe it would have been a little bit more easier.
Mike [00:19:35]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:19:35]:
Especially going your separate ways, for example. But because she loves them, there's two kids. Right. And she's not jumping to those conclusions. I think she's trying to figure a way to align those visions, but because she's been struggling for the last two years, I would think that they've been butting heads for quite some time now. Yeah. Regarding this. Right.
Eldar [00:19:53]:
So maybe she's even. I'm not sure. I don't want to jump into conclusions, but maybe she's even put them off on it. Right. Where if you're constantly talking about, like, look, you know, especially the type of arguments that people make sometimes. Right. If they're not Seasoned on the way to express this and introduce this type of an idea, they'll start bashing. They'll say, look how bad the society is doing this.
Eldar [00:20:10]:
Look at this, look at this, look at this. Right. And then you obviously say, look, if we were in the nature and we were doing this, we were eating healthy or we would be, you know, sleeping under the stars, you know, kind of thing. Right. It's a, it's an easy argument, but it can offend somebody, I think, you know, and especially individual who didn't read the books, who doesn't understand the vision, who doesn't see that same truth.
Mike [00:20:31]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:20:32]:
Right.
Joe [00:20:33]:
Yeah. I mean, if you want someone on your team, it's, you know, maybe force feeding it or making it become a conflict or trying to convince someone is, Is probably going to be the harder route. But maybe by offering it to, to a partner, to a husband, to, to say like, all right, you know, why, like if you don't want to, if you, if you don't see this vision, would you at least read these books to better understand my vision? Just, just read them. Not, not anything more. I just want you to be able to conceptualize what I read, what I'm feeling, what I'm thinking, just so you at least know a little bit more about what's inside my head rather than me telling you this is how we're gonna do things or this is, we're pressuring these cheese changes. If he, if she loves him, she could give him like she would say, all right, I'm going to, I'm going to let go of attachments and the control I want to have over that. And I'm going to say, let's let love prevail.
Eldar [00:21:34]:
Well, there you go.
Joe [00:21:34]:
And maybe he'll come around to seeing something that he might have been blocking because of the way she's approaching it.
Eldar [00:21:40]:
Yeah. Okay, so see what Joe just said?
Mike [00:21:42]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:21:43]:
He put love first.
Mike [00:21:44]:
Yes.
Eldar [00:21:44]:
He said, look, if you claiming. Right.
Mike [00:21:46]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:21:46]:
Right. This lady claims that she actually loves him. Right. She says, I love him dearly. Right. And now you're talking about if she's been pressuring him, if she's been kind of maybe trying to sway him or shove it down his throat, whatever. Right. These types of ideas, that's not a display of love.
Mike [00:22:03]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:22:04]:
That is not.
Mike [00:22:05]:
Regardless, I guess. Regardless. Only, Only like way she, like I would say she has an argument. If she, if he knew about this since the jump and he agreed to it.
Eldar [00:22:16]:
Yeah. You know, now that he's not keeping up his side, if it was like he told.
Mike [00:22:20]:
She told him about it. He didn't commit to it. I think you have to give patience. Yeah. Because.
Eldar [00:22:25]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:22:25]:
You have to show the person that you love them, but also how much you love this. And I think if two people love each other, I think it'd be very hard for that person to deny it.
Eldar [00:22:34]:
I agree.
Mike [00:22:35]:
If you're given the compassion and patient approach.
Eldar [00:22:37]:
I agree with that. I agree that if the two individuals actually do love each other and they show each other love and support in that way. Right. I do not see. All right, we have a guest.
Mike [00:22:46]:
We have a guest. Guest. Come on in.
Vemir [00:22:49]:
Guest.
Eldar [00:22:49]:
Yo, yo. There was a question that was asked, right. I can run it through real quick for you. Okay. And we're just probably at the end of tackling it. But any. This one lady is asking a question. Any advice on bringing one's existing partner on the path of creating kin's domain and I'll explain what that is or helping align visions of co creation.
Eldar [00:23:12]:
A kin's domain. It's like a communal living. What did you say in a particular way that was described in these books that I read? Yeah, that kind of stuff. Yeah. Pretty much. OSHA's, you could say like that. Yeah.
Vemir [00:23:22]:
Is this like mainly predominantly a sexual thing or like what's the.
Eldar [00:23:26]:
Is there a reason why you're doing your neck like this when you. When you use homosexual.
Vemir [00:23:30]:
What is it? Psychosomatic reaction?
Mike [00:23:32]:
Yeah, yeah.
Vemir [00:23:33]:
No. What is the. What is the main reason why this would be a question.
Eldar [00:23:37]:
Okay, so let me finish some context. I've been exploring creating a school and building a homestead for some time. Right. So she was into the homestead thing.
Vemir [00:23:45]:
Right.
Eldar [00:23:45]:
Creating her own school, maybe homeschooling kids and all that stuff. Right. Prior to discovering the ringing cedars. That's the book that I'm talking about. Right. Which have only strengthened my desires and dreams for this. Admittedly, the last two years have been difficult for my husband and I to see eye to eye on many subjects. We have two young children, three and one.
Eldar [00:24:02]:
But I love my husband dearly. I'm just having trouble getting our visions to align. I would like a kin's domain or homesteading of some sorts and to homeschool or build a school for our children and others children. I have all resources to start the school. I'm in the Montreal, Canada area. But not my husband's support which has put a pause on the project. His vision seems to be aligning is to be one of aligning to the government objectives, which is electric cars the modern schools and the general status quo. And all advice and suggestions are welcome.
Eldar [00:24:31]:
So we're trying to help her solve this. This question.
Vemir [00:24:35]:
This a fan or guest or something?
Eldar [00:24:37]:
No, this is hopefully a future listener, but she's part of a group on Facebook, and I'm in that group, and she posed that question, and I asked whether or not it would be okay for her to try for us to tackle this question here on the podcast. She said, absolutely. I would love to hear it.
Vemir [00:24:49]:
She's got five guys, pro bono, working on it.
Eldar [00:24:52]:
Yeah, pro bono. Exactly. And you know, this is unpaid, Right.
Mike [00:24:56]:
For now, we're getting big checks off.
Vemir [00:24:58]:
The record chips and everything.
Eldar [00:25:02]:
Yeah. BYOB and then. Yeah.
Vemir [00:25:06]:
Okay. So where are you guys at? Or just still.
Eldar [00:25:08]:
Yeah, so we were at the fact that she did mention that she loves him. All right. She loves him dearly.
Mike [00:25:13]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:25:13]:
But we also came across that if she's pressuring him to align these visions that she has for this, that is not a display of love. Right. That is not an understanding that she's, you know, showing him and being patient. Oh. Because we weren't sure when she introduced this concept that she kind of met him and said, hey, this was my vision all along. I always wanted to do this. Right. Let's build this type of life together.
Eldar [00:25:39]:
And now they finally come around to be able to do that. But he's not aligning with the vision, even though maybe in the beginning he did agree to it. Let's just say, you know, when they first met.
Vemir [00:25:47]:
So what. But why is, like, she's not respecting his worldview or. And like, she thinks it's the best thing and she's trying to communicate. I would assume most people believe things that they think is the best.
Eldar [00:26:00]:
100%. Yeah. I think that's what that. Yeah. The second part, where she believes this to be the best. And she probably doesn't agree with his worldview. Right. And she's probably.
Eldar [00:26:09]:
Because she mentioned that she's been having difficulty with him for the last two years. She's probably butting heads on the worldviews there.
Vemir [00:26:15]:
It's tense, right? It's probably tense.
Eldar [00:26:17]:
I'm not sure.
Vemir [00:26:18]:
I'm imagining. It's like a fundamental dynamic.
Eldar [00:26:22]:
Yeah.
Vemir [00:26:22]:
And he's. He's kind of. I mean, as this normally goes, I'm not going to generalize too much, but, like, he's, like, cares about his wife's relationship and his kids. It's not like she doesn't. But I think she would prioritize the kids. Like, it seems like she's really focused on the kids. Or do you feel that undercurrent or do you think that she like.
Eldar [00:26:42]:
Well, it seems that I think she values raising the kids in a particular way. Right. So that could be a big fight there where he's like, hey, I just want to send them to a regular school. Right. And she's like, nope, we got to teach them this way because clearly the regular way doesn't work. But she has very strong attachments to her worldview.
Vemir [00:27:00]:
That's why this can cause like a rift.
Eldar [00:27:03]:
That's right, it could. We talked about that briefly. That if they don't find a compromise, some sort understanding as to, you know, what to do, but they might actually cause a rift.
Mike [00:27:11]:
But even. I was just thinking, even if she did tell him before and now he's having a hard time coming around.
Vemir [00:27:16]:
Which is okay, right?
Mike [00:27:17]:
Which is okay.
Eldar [00:27:17]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:27:18]:
If you love that person, you should still extend the compassion and understanding. Now you should not like it. You should try not to. You shouldn't be above in heads is what I'm trying to say.
Eldar [00:27:27]:
I agree.
Mike [00:27:28]:
And even holding that person account for their word, would you really want to do that to somebody you love and something like that?
Eldar [00:27:34]:
No, no.
Mike [00:27:35]:
Like that's the way you want to operate to like force somebody to stick to their word?
Eldar [00:27:39]:
Yeah, probably not. Not in the loving, loving relationship.
Mike [00:27:43]:
That's why I think it's you. She. I think what she, you know, my thing is I think she should pursue that, you know, building that community on her own. And maybe he will see not going to live there, but like she said she wants to do for other families. So maybe she start working on that project. Right. Maybe he will see how much love and inspiration she has and maybe he will come around by seeing it. Yeah, but I think it could be a multi year thing, you know, 100%.
Mike [00:28:09]:
I think she should take the long cut.
Vemir [00:28:10]:
You know, it's better to ask for, for forgiveness than permission.
Mike [00:28:15]:
You're trying to violate right now. I don't know. Not that she's not doing that kind of naughty thing, bro. No, I don't think she's, she doesn't need. I'm not sure she's saying that she's like I need asking for permission.
Eldar [00:28:27]:
No, it's all pause. Right. The whole situation is on pause.
Vemir [00:28:30]:
She's saying you should, she should go ahead without permission.
Mike [00:28:33]:
But what do you mean without permission? Like who is he to give her permission? Who she wants to support the side.
Eldar [00:28:39]:
Right.
Mike [00:28:40]:
I mean she said she has the resources for It, I'm assuming the financial resources have the resources. So she's not just gonna be like, all right, I'm taking the money from you. Sounds like maybe she has her own money and she's gonna invest it into this project.
Eldar [00:28:54]:
Yeah, but how do you go, like, don't you think that, like, I mean, based on what, you know, it, this type of action requires. Right. I don't see how, like, doing it on her own would be a good thing for the relationship in general. You know that I agree with what Vermeer is saying about, hey, like, it sounds like that's still gonna cause a rift because you can't just go on your own and kind of do your own thing. Right. Like, even though you're saying that.
Vemir [00:29:19]:
So he's emphasizing is that the guy might not see the vision.
Eldar [00:29:23]:
No, he said he has.
Vemir [00:29:26]:
Any novel ideas. It sounds like, it just sounds like.
Mike [00:29:29]:
He'S the guy doing doesn't have anything good to say.
Vemir [00:29:34]:
He has no opinion. Right. It's just like defers to authority. That's a weak argument. Right. But I don't think that she should.
Mike [00:29:40]:
Just like, No, I don't. I, I, I, I'm not like, what's option? Option is for her either go and do it on her own. Right. Or bury it. All right. Persuade him or persuade him, but like, or she should do nothing and just give it time. Right.
Vemir [00:29:59]:
Are kids in school, they don't have kids or what?
Eldar [00:30:01]:
They do have two kids.
Vemir [00:30:03]:
Three and three. No system now decision. Yeah.
Eldar [00:30:05]:
Three and one.
Joe [00:30:06]:
When they start school, like five, though.
Eldar [00:30:07]:
Five or six. Yeah.
Joe [00:30:08]:
So she has a couple years, I think, going and putting money into her and time into trying to build this environment. Just let him see it is like a, it's, it's gonna, it's gonna take a lot to do all that. I think giving him those books like we mentioned, with two years to read and sit on it. And then also rediscus like now her vision where her, where all her passions are coming from, from the stuff she read. Giving it to him, let him read it, let him digest it, then come back, talk again, what she has to.
Mike [00:30:39]:
Force him to read it.
Joe [00:30:40]:
You say no, not for some, but out of the love and the fact that she'll allow him the time because she loves him and he loves her, so he'll respect that.
Eldar [00:30:49]:
But if anybody putting somebody on the timeline, though, is that it doesn't have.
Mike [00:30:53]:
To be already sounds like he already has a Nick maybe, you know.
Eldar [00:30:57]:
Yeah. This potential after two years of bunny.
Mike [00:30:59]:
Heads, like he has Some kind of like, you know.
Vemir [00:31:02]:
Well, yeah, this is against the.
Joe [00:31:03]:
Maybe this, like this playbook is default unless you do something out of the ordinary, like taking your kids out of school, living, living in normal society and not living on. On one of these, like land. These lands and communities. So it's a pretty big life change to ask someone to do just because, you know, now, like we said.
Eldar [00:31:24]:
Yeah.
Joe [00:31:24]:
Is it a. Is it anathema or was it always, always supposed to be the plan?
Vemir [00:31:29]:
I don't know. Jordan Peterson makes this argument. He said you should do what everybody else does unless you have a really good reason not to. I think this is not a strong argument because the standard thing to do is not by definition the best. It's just what everybody does.
Joe [00:31:44]:
Yeah. I don't say that, you know, taking. Yeah, taking risk is not a bad thing. You know, trying new things or doing, going to go following through your passion, what you really believe in is not a bad thing. But, you know, the husband also has to say, it's his children, it's his life, and he's in a relationship with her. And I think the best thing to do is come together and be a team rather than be divisive and imposing one another because.
Eldar [00:32:11]:
Yeah, I'm not sure if. I'm not sure how she gets to be a team on this. You know what I mean? Like, I'm still not sure I can.
Vemir [00:32:16]:
Give you guys, like some examples of like what I've seen, like two people I look up to, whether you like it or not. Kanye West, Elon Musk.
Joe [00:32:25]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:32:25]:
Okay. Yeah.
Vemir [00:32:26]:
These guys both have schools and they're both friends. Yeah, and they're both friends. And hopefully, my friend soon.
Eldar [00:32:31]:
Yeah. Is that what you're looking for?
Vemir [00:32:34]:
Yeah, I am looking. It's not the dinner tonight yet.
Joe [00:32:36]:
Business.
Eldar [00:32:37]:
Okay, cool.
Joe [00:32:38]:
That's a pleasure.
Vemir [00:32:41]:
So why do I bring this up? Elon Musk has been putting his kids through a school of like 20 that they've created because he doesn't like the school system. That should be a huge red flag for the school system anyway. Kanye's creating Donda Academy. Yeah, it just started. And so why, what did he do with his co parenting is he proposed like three or two days, like whatever the number balances per week, alternating dates, regular school. And that's a little bit like, maybe stressful for the kids, maybe better for the kids, but it's an option that exists. So I mean, I'm not deferring to authority. I feel like these guys have real good reasons for why they do this stuff.
Vemir [00:33:25]:
So I think a wise mind would criticize the school system pretty heavily, so I'm inclined to agree with her. But she has to present it well enough because, like, people, you know, they just kind of go through life. All that stoner cringe stuff people say, right? Like, blind sheeple, whatever. You know, it's like Ben Franklin said, like, dead at 25, buried at 75 or something. It's like, you know, she is openly and creatively thinking. I think if she doesn't force it, like, with any spiritual thing or principle, you have to respect other people's free will, but you have to present it in a way that it's inconsequentially the right option. Like, you have to present it as a good thing.
Eldar [00:34:10]:
Yeah.
Vemir [00:34:11]:
Like the truth. My brother always says the truth navigates. Right. It's like, if you present it and it's the truth, it should win. Otherwise, it's like, prevail. It's like, otherwise, it's just.
Eldar [00:34:24]:
So then would you say that based on what? The little. The little excerpt that we did, and based on what she said, that the last two years they've been butting heads. Right. And it's been difficult. Would you say that she's failing at that?
Vemir [00:34:34]:
Failing at what?
Eldar [00:34:35]:
Presenting that truth.
Vemir [00:34:37]:
Well, he's not convinced. Right. That's, like, part of his thing, and it's part of her thing. So. Yes. I mean, if she's been struggling for two years on something that's true, that's her problem. She's struggling on two years on something that's maybe not so true, then it makes sense. But to me, I think she's along the right lines.
Vemir [00:34:54]:
I don't think she understands how hard it is to educate the youth. So maybe she just has the idea. Resources is nothing.
Eldar [00:35:02]:
Right.
Vemir [00:35:03]:
It's more about, like, the skill, timing, and understanding the psychology of developmental psychology.
Eldar [00:35:10]:
Yeah.
Vemir [00:35:11]:
Yeah. It's a. It's a tough one, and it's a bold move. It's like, I don't want to vaccinate my kids, or I don't want to, like, you know, have the meat gluten. I don't want to live in Ohio.
Eldar [00:35:23]:
Santa Claus don't exist.
Vemir [00:35:24]:
Yeah. Santa Claus who's listening to the podcast. You can't say that.
Eldar [00:35:28]:
Yeah. It just feels Santa. We all value Santa.
Vemir [00:35:39]:
I was thinking about Santa and Satan have the same five letters. Right. It's weird. I always rearrange. I never think about Satan. I just think about Santa. You know, there's no negative energy in here. You Know.
Eldar [00:35:49]:
Yeah. All hugs, no smiles.
Vemir [00:35:51]:
Yeah.
Joe [00:35:52]:
They both were red.
Vemir [00:35:53]:
So. Yeah. So, yeah, there's other connections, but I can't think of.
Eldar [00:36:01]:
Yeah, yeah. The ones that they. When the kids sit on the lab.
Vemir [00:36:03]:
Right. Not a fan of Jews. No. I'm just kidding. Yeah. Anyway, I feel like it's, like it's difficult. I think they both have good intentions, which is a good sign. It's just kind of as usual, the methodology.
Eldar [00:36:22]:
Yeah, I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. If she's. She's. She has the truth and she's on to it, but she doesn't have the proper ability to kind of live out that truth in such a way where she's not butting heads with him. Right.
Mike [00:36:34]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:36:35]:
That means that truth is now prevailing and she's not swaying him properly. Right.
Mike [00:36:39]:
Or she might not actually have the truth.
Eldar [00:36:42]:
Yeah, that's a different question, you know.
Mike [00:36:44]:
Because like, if you have the truth.
Eldar [00:36:45]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:36:46]:
How your body has for two years. Correct that, like, to me, yeah, it's a hard. It's hard to line up if you're doing right. How can you have such a wrong.
Eldar [00:36:56]:
Yeah, I don't. Because a lot of people don't have the ability to seclude themselves. Right.
Vemir [00:37:00]:
Jesus was killed, right?
Eldar [00:37:01]:
Well, yeah. He also went for seven years, right.
Vemir [00:37:03]:
He what?
Eldar [00:37:04]:
Went. He went out for seven years to the desert. So. Right. They don't have that ability to go to seven years in Tibet, Right.
Mike [00:37:11]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:37:12]:
If she did, right. She'll be quietly chiseling away slowly at this mountain. Slowly right up until one day people turn around like, oh, wow, you have a statue here. Wow, you have something really beautiful here. You know what I mean?
Vemir [00:37:24]:
Oh, like bringing it to reality.
Eldar [00:37:26]:
Yeah. Slowly chiseling away at it, right. By, you know, by example. Living it by example. Right. But an individual who's just throwing ideas around, Right. And combating the world views that a status quo by throwing your truth around back and forth, that's all you have. You don't really have anything that.
Eldar [00:37:42]:
That sticks because there's plenty of people on both sides have plenty of reasoning and arguments. Right. About vaccines being right, vaccines being wrong. You know what I mean? Like statistics. Both sides can bring those up.
Vemir [00:37:52]:
However, there's two points there.
Eldar [00:37:54]:
Yeah.
Vemir [00:37:54]:
One point is that, like, what was I gonna say? It's like she. This is both a timely decision and one that needs to be agreed on by both partners. So it's hard for her to act.
Eldar [00:38:09]:
Yeah. But this time is also was created by who Timing, decision. Like, you know, like, it's like getting.
Vemir [00:38:15]:
Older, but it's damaging for kids not to get educated. So that's the worst possible option, right?
Eldar [00:38:19]:
Yeah, but that's not going to be the option I did. Definitely gonna go somewhere.
Vemir [00:38:22]:
Oh, they're gonna go to regular school.
Eldar [00:38:24]:
Yeah. Yeah.
Vemir [00:38:24]:
Okay. You know, I mean, fair enough. So they defer, but they might get used to it and then she loses her chance, right?
Eldar [00:38:30]:
Yeah, she could.
Vemir [00:38:31]:
It's like the first impression of things is usually the strongest.
Eldar [00:38:33]:
Yeah.
Vemir [00:38:34]:
The kids might not want to go, and then she feels trapped.
Eldar [00:38:37]:
Yeah.
Vemir [00:38:39]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:38:39]:
But again, that's. You're. All you're saying is that, again, an individual is not empowered enough. And this is why.
Vemir [00:38:45]:
This is. The second point is like, this is why, like, traditional gender roles worked in these situations. Not worked, but, you know, were functionally correct.
Eldar [00:38:53]:
Yeah.
Vemir [00:38:54]:
Not that they were the right. It's like, guys, just like, we're doing this, and then she eventually comes around, you know, because she has no choice.
Eldar [00:39:00]:
Yeah.
Vemir [00:39:01]:
It's not fair. But that's, like, the way that things were done. Like, that's that how things were, like, solved in this way.
Eldar [00:39:09]:
The outcomes were.
Mike [00:39:11]:
Right.
Vemir [00:39:11]:
The outcome was maybe bad or just survivalistic. All I'm saying is, like, we made it. The tension now is that we have respect for each other, you know, like, that's why. That's, like, why.
Eldar [00:39:24]:
So we're progressing as a society, Right?
Vemir [00:39:26]:
No, of course. I hope there wasn't an underbelly that we should go back to tradition. I wasn't saying.
Eldar [00:39:30]:
No, we definitely heard you.
Vemir [00:39:32]:
I don't know. I feel like this is not really. This just needs, like, better communication and knowing the people themselves. But the concept itself, like, what if you really love a person who is diametrically opposite Christian?
Eldar [00:39:44]:
And I think there's nothing wrong with Republican, Democrat.
Vemir [00:39:47]:
No, it's not. That's why people defer to safety. Oh, I'm gonna marry my own kind. It's easier. Like, fuck you.
Eldar [00:39:52]:
And that is why I'm gonna hang on to what she says. She said, I love my husband dearly.
Mike [00:39:55]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:39:55]:
Right. And Joe mentioned that earlier, that at the end of the day, that because she. There is love. Right.
Vemir [00:40:02]:
There's no back door to leave, you know?
Eldar [00:40:04]:
Correct. I think that. I think that you sacrifice everything for love, even your attachments to particular ideas.
Mike [00:40:10]:
Oh, I think. I think she has a drop of. Because her attachment is too strong.
Vemir [00:40:14]:
What's that?
Mike [00:40:15]:
I think her attachment is too strong and unhealthy.
Eldar [00:40:18]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:40:18]:
To drop it.
Vemir [00:40:20]:
Drop what?
Mike [00:40:21]:
Her Idea of this thing that she wants to create for now, she should drop it because I think the way she went about it is wrong. From what I'm, you know.
Eldar [00:40:29]:
Damn, you're mean.
Vemir [00:40:30]:
Thinking about maybe she can hybridize it like you can homeschool kids at home. Correct?
Eldar [00:40:35]:
Yeah, no, there's. There's ways that you go around us.
Mike [00:40:38]:
But like a radical change.
Eldar [00:40:39]:
But I think.
Mike [00:40:40]:
But I think if there was going.
Eldar [00:40:41]:
To be the actual actionable step, I'd probably be. If I was on her side, right.
Vemir [00:40:45]:
On her.
Eldar [00:40:46]:
What's his name in her position, in her shoes.
Vemir [00:40:49]:
Right.
Eldar [00:40:49]:
And I had a guy or husband, right. Who's kind of the opposite polar views. I'd probably go with the approach of asking, being considerate. Right. Say, hey, hobby, whatever his name is, Is it okay if we try this out for our kids? Right. Is it okay kind of question. You know what I mean? If it's no, then it's. I mean, we clearly see that there's, you know, there's more pain and hurt there.
Vemir [00:41:14]:
One point here. Right. So can we identify without them being here? What is the, like, root objective here? Because it seems like it's not. The commune is the objective. It's not the school system and the government. Like, they're not on those sides. Right. What commonality are they trying to solve here? Is it quality of education for the kids? Because that can be solved on all the sides.
Vemir [00:41:42]:
I think they can find what they're.
Eldar [00:41:44]:
What. What they. I'm not sure if there is one.
Vemir [00:41:47]:
There has to be a common ground.
Eldar [00:41:48]:
No, I mean the common ground that we love each other and love the kids.
Vemir [00:41:51]:
No, no, no.
Mike [00:41:51]:
Yeah.
Vemir [00:41:52]:
What do they want for the kids with this school idea?
Eldar [00:41:55]:
Hmm.
Mike [00:41:57]:
Yeah, I think. Yeah, I think that. I think maybe I. Were you saying. I think I like what you're saying. I think. I don't think you have to go that way to give the kids what you think that you want to give them.
Vemir [00:42:10]:
You know, you don't have to go either way. I think. Yeah. They should communicate.
Mike [00:42:15]:
The kids. Correct. Because the attachment might be, you know, clotting. Clotting. Her thing.
Eldar [00:42:21]:
Correct.
Mike [00:42:21]:
Where she might be in love with this idea of.
Eldar [00:42:24]:
Correct. I think that if they actually communicated like he said.
Mike [00:42:26]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:42:27]:
Actually sat down and actually asked, what is it that exactly that we want for our kids and the way they want to be, you know, raised. I think that it won't matter. Yeah, it won't matter because they'll both come to the truths together.
Mike [00:42:38]:
Yes. And they'll be the same.
Eldar [00:42:40]:
Those Truths will be the hybrid.
Vemir [00:42:42]:
Yes.
Eldar [00:42:42]:
Hybrid model that they will come up to themselves as to how to raise them. Right. Be it, you know, three days, two days, you know, split between homeschooling and regular school, for example, or whatever it is. Whatever system that they come up with.
Vemir [00:42:53]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:42:54]:
However. But they do have to have that conversation as to, like, what is it actually, they try.
Vemir [00:42:57]:
Yeah, I think that's the.
Mike [00:42:58]:
They have to probably have a conversation outside of their attachments.
Eldar [00:43:03]:
I think that it sounds like she might. Might be suffering from that, holding that attachment. Yeah. Her.
Joe [00:43:09]:
Her questioning is not just education. She wants to live a completely different lifestyle. And she wants. She said her words. How do I convince him to.
Mike [00:43:19]:
How do I persuade him.
Joe [00:43:20]:
Yeah, persuade him to come onto the side of water would be so good. You know, she wants to persuade him to live a certain way. So a guy who's been living a certain way and had, you know, the projection of this is how life's going to be from here on out. And now she's trying to persuade him to live a completely different lifestyle.
Eldar [00:43:37]:
Why?
Joe [00:43:38]:
Because she read these books, you know, the. What is it called?
Vemir [00:43:44]:
I gotta write these down. But I get the concept.
Joe [00:43:46]:
Yeah. So it's. It's a whole nother. It's a whole nother lifestyle.
Vemir [00:43:50]:
Anastasia.
Eldar [00:43:51]:
Yeah.
Vemir [00:43:51]:
Didn't you say they're good books?
Eldar [00:43:52]:
I mean, they're all good books.
Joe [00:43:53]:
Yeah, well, it's his opinion, but this is also. This is, you know, it's more than just.
Eldar [00:44:00]:
No, it's just Anastasia.
Vemir [00:44:01]:
Thank you.
Eldar [00:44:02]:
By Vladimir.
Joe [00:44:03]:
There's like 10 books, right, or something.
Eldar [00:44:05]:
Yeah. Vladimir. M E G R E. And the first book is Anastasia. If you find that, you'll find all of them.
Joe [00:44:12]:
So we're like, you know, discussing, trying to figure out a common ground on. On how to educate the kids. It's bigger than that.
Eldar [00:44:20]:
It is bigger than that.
Joe [00:44:21]:
So it's not just education that's a problem. Like living off the. Living off the earth.
Eldar [00:44:26]:
You got to start somewhere getting out.
Joe [00:44:27]:
Of the system, you know, like, you know, she's. It seems like she's pushing an extreme life change on this guy.
Vemir [00:44:34]:
Yeah, well, she's not a guru. Right. She doesn't have the whole picture. She's not talking about how, like, you.
Eldar [00:44:39]:
Haven'T read these books, but you might feel otherwise when you do.
Vemir [00:44:43]:
No, I understand. Like, the whole concept is like, I saw this Jamaican guru. It's not Muji. Jamaican guru. He's talking about like, you know, you can't, like, escape into the woods. It's just not an option anymore. You gotta sleep in the dirt. I mean, it's just like.
Vemir [00:44:59]:
Makes sense. But you can't live in society the way other people do.
Eldar [00:45:04]:
I just want to visualize, you know.
Vemir [00:45:06]:
I can like, do his Jamaican positioning or something. Like, I don't know, but you channel that.
Eldar [00:45:11]:
You know what I mean? Like, I like. You saw him, like, in person or something?
Vemir [00:45:14]:
No, I saw a video.
Eldar [00:45:15]:
A video, but I. You channeled that shit. That was pretty good. It's like, now I actually want to see that video.
Vemir [00:45:21]:
Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that. What hand move should you. Namaste, Covid. Namaste. It's like, in that sense, it feels strongly like you have to integrate. You can't avoid life.
Vemir [00:45:35]:
Right. And the whole point of what I want to make here is, like, you have to eventually help others. Like, you can't just run away from everybody. It's not helping the world if you isolate your wisdom. Right. Someone. Someone made a criticism when I was like, 16 or something. Like, spiritual people are always up there, but there's like, shit down here we got to do, too.
Vemir [00:45:54]:
So it's like, I think she's actually still on the journey of figuring out what she wants. She's not ready to dominate his entire life, but planting the seeds is perfectly healthy thing. So I think it can start with education. And then, like, if he's accepting of that, it's not like a one, two punch. It's just like, do you like this? Do you like this?
Eldar [00:46:14]:
And she consider it.
Vemir [00:46:16]:
I don't think her pathway is especially. She doesn't appear to me to have the level to prepare for that internally or whatever.
Eldar [00:46:24]:
Yeah, yeah.
Vemir [00:46:25]:
If she was enlightened or whatever. Sorry, rough word, you know, but it's like, if she was, like, awakened enough.
Eldar [00:46:32]:
Yeah.
Vemir [00:46:32]:
She would renounce her family and go into the woods or something like that.
Eldar [00:46:35]:
Right? Yeah.
Vemir [00:46:36]:
I don't know what the action would be, but it seems clear to me, like, she. She wants these things because she read them, she hasn't internalized them, but she wants the best for her husband and kids, so she has to check herself and kind of awaken within the situation that she's in. Doesn't seem like, particularly toxic in her environment. Right. So it's doable. You know, I think that. I think that she should kind of go in and more solidify what she's doing before making such a big jump. That's my assumption that she doesn't know embody truly all of these things yet.
Eldar [00:47:13]:
All right.
Vemir [00:47:14]:
But that's.
Mike [00:47:14]:
That's Serious?
Eldar [00:47:15]:
Yeah, yeah, I'm leaning towards agreeing with him.
Joe [00:47:19]:
If some guy with a ponytail with the cedar ring shows up and persuades.
Eldar [00:47:25]:
Her, oh my God, come join the.
Joe [00:47:28]:
Commune, bring your kids.
Vemir [00:47:29]:
Yeah, she might be out.
Joe [00:47:30]:
She might be out and might be.
Vemir [00:47:31]:
Her destiny to do that, right?
Joe [00:47:33]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:47:33]:
Not if she dearly loves her husband.
Joe [00:47:34]:
But now she dealer loves.
Vemir [00:47:35]:
But maybe she loves the whole humanity more than just one person.
Joe [00:47:39]:
People use the L word pretty loosely nowadays.
Vemir [00:47:43]:
Osho again has a great thing. I don't know if you guys won't hear this shit. Yeah. Osho says everyone should get divorced without question, without exception. But his whole point is like, about love, right? He says that most people don't even love themselves, don't even know themselves, and they're out there seeking love. It's like two beggars of love pretending that the other person's an emperor.
Eldar [00:48:13]:
I'll cut you off right there. If you look, if you zoom in on that board right there, the next topic, I mean the topic of today is that today that's actually.
Vemir [00:48:20]:
Can we get to that asap?
Eldar [00:48:22]:
Yeah, let's do it. Yeah, you just, you just got into it. We transition into it. Into Mike.
Vemir [00:48:27]:
Natural transition.
Mike [00:48:28]:
What is it today is self love.
Eldar [00:48:31]:
That's right. He just said. Yeah, there's two beggars, right?
Vemir [00:48:34]:
Synchronicity, bro.
Eldar [00:48:36]:
You read online.
Vemir [00:48:37]:
I got you.
Eldar [00:48:37]:
So go ahead. So try to go into it. Yeah. So self love, there you go.
Vemir [00:48:40]:
But like the natural transition to sage is to finish Osho's thing, which I think is actually true. It's like you think the person's an emperor of love giving it to you. They think that you're an emperor, love giving it to them. Once you find out you're both beggars, crumbles, right? You're like, what is so my feeling of like, what I feel is the solution to this is to self inquire, is to awaken, is to look at yourself. Because why do people say you can't love other people till you love yourself? You hear that shit all the time, but it's actually true.
Eldar [00:49:19]:
Why?
Vemir [00:49:20]:
Because love from Dennis Rox is like farther away, right? It's like distantly farther away. And like you can't know as much about him as you could possibly know about you. And if you believe like these things, you are God. God is love. You are love, right? Your pure awareness and all those words, right? So you inquire within, you find that kind of nuclear reactor sun of love inside of you. You develop it. You accept that it's True. It's who you are.
Vemir [00:49:55]:
Then it blossoms and becomes like a beacon for you to give other people. And then you really, truly are sharing love because you found it. Unless you. Until you found it, you're seeking these, like, samples of love.
Eldar [00:50:08]:
Would you say you like a drug addict ravaging the community?
Vemir [00:50:11]:
What do you mean?
Eldar [00:50:12]:
Like, you are an addict. Right. You look like a zombie looking for crumbs.
Vemir [00:50:16]:
Yeah. You're like, you're seeking something outside. That's right. You're desperate for it. These people with trauma didn't get the love. They couldn't. They didn't get the. They didn't get the recognition from their parents of love.
Eldar [00:50:30]:
Yeah.
Vemir [00:50:30]:
So they're seeking it outside and they forgot to look in the right direction.
Eldar [00:50:34]:
Correct.
Vemir [00:50:35]:
And the center direction. So with this in place, it feels strongly to me that, like, if I am love, I. Connecting to my previous point, it's like I have to now reveal the light. Guru means remover of darkness. Right. Guru. It's like you have to almost like a natural obligation, a natural impetus to, like, come back to the cave, bring others to the light, you know, because what else can you do? You know, what else is valuable? I mean, you can have your steps be majestic and you can make art and you can be a really good, like. But it's about.
Vemir [00:51:14]:
You can be a good, like, craftsman or something.
Mike [00:51:17]:
Any.
Vemir [00:51:17]:
Anything in society. Right. You can do with this in more enlightened perspective. But it's like awakening others. You see the value of it, so you want to give it to others. So, like, if you love yourself, then you understand that others are yourself. It's part of the awakening process. And then you want others to realize who they are, which is.
Mike [00:51:36]:
Can you give us, you know, simple folk.
Vemir [00:51:40]:
Did that make sense?
Mike [00:51:42]:
Yeah, it did. Yeah. But can you give us this? Not all of the listeners and participants are in line like yourself. Can you give us the layman's version of what it is?
Vemir [00:51:51]:
Like myself.
Eldar [00:51:52]:
Yeah. Well, you just tapped into something, didn't you?
Vemir [00:51:54]:
Yeah, yeah. Yes, yes.
Eldar [00:51:57]:
Okay. Very good. You actually felt it. But. Yeah, but the problem is, right. With that, what you just talked about. Right. And it sounded very good.
Eldar [00:52:03]:
And I agree with that. However. Right. A lot of times self love is used, just like love is used. Right. Using the views in such ways that.
Vemir [00:52:11]:
So that's why not saying the no true Scotsman argument. But I'm saying, like, if someone misuses or abuses love.
Eldar [00:52:19]:
Yeah.
Vemir [00:52:19]:
Then they don't understand it fully. And it's part of the process.
Eldar [00:52:22]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:52:23]:
So that's why I'm asking for him to, you know, obviously that what you said sounds great and I'm. And stand what you're saying. Yeah, but you want me to explain? I want, I would like you to give people, you know, at least your opinion or your understanding rather. What is love? You know, because obviously saying, oh, it's awareness or it's self love. Right. Like what are those things? In a.
Joe [00:52:49]:
Simpler way, speak to the caveman out there.
Mike [00:52:52]:
Yes. Most. Most of. Most of us are in the cave.
Vemir [00:52:56]:
It's like I take a deep breath now and it flashes to me with like an Osho crowd. You are aware.
Mike [00:53:04]:
If people don't understand what self love is, they're gonna misuse it the word because they have a wrong understanding of what it actually means.
Vemir [00:53:11]:
So like, what is love? Baby, don't hurt me. That's so. Yeah, it's like everybody think. But like I was just thinking about that. Like, what is the thing that they say in the song right after what is love? They just talked about fear, baby, don't hurt me. You know, like they're so afraid.
Eldar [00:53:27]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:53:27]:
Love is the opposite of fear, you would say?
Vemir [00:53:29]:
Yes. Like eliminate the fear for the illusion that it is. And how do you do that? It's like pay attention. You just start paying attention.
Mike [00:53:37]:
Okay, what are you paying attention?
Vemir [00:53:38]:
This affected me negatively. This affected me negatively. Then it went away. This affected me positively. It improved me. Just start paying attention to the. Like everybody asks me, like, how do I start my spiritual journey, bro? And like that. It's always they say, bro, you know what?
Mike [00:53:56]:
You've been, you've been trying to fish clients at Rutgers University.
Vemir [00:54:00]:
Like finance bros, you know?
Eldar [00:54:02]:
Yeah.
Vemir [00:54:02]:
I'm up in Upper west side like.
Eldar [00:54:04]:
Convincing people you out there corrupting the youth and union. Tell us.
Vemir [00:54:06]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:54:07]:
What's wrong with you, man?
Vemir [00:54:07]:
Are you proud of me?
Eldar [00:54:08]:
Of course.
Vemir [00:54:09]:
It's great, the whole thing. I think. I think to answer your question by the wait, the things that I'm describing are first hand experience, like that process of development and healing and stuff. It's like to me, why do I always tell people the first two words of the first step are pay attention is because you're going to become like more conscious.
Mike [00:54:32]:
Right.
Vemir [00:54:33]:
You're going to become like most of your life is automatically programmed for you. And this is not like a matrix kind of bullshit. Right. Analogy. It's like you are automatically doing things all the time.
Mike [00:54:46]:
Yeah.
Vemir [00:54:46]:
So what I. Why I say to become more conscious is you start to sit in that center of consciousness you start to feel, oh, I'm a little more separate than my thoughts. I can control my feelings. Right. And you start to get a taste of what's possible. So for the layman, I always say, just pay attention.
Eldar [00:55:04]:
You're fucked. No, I'm just. Yeah, sorry.
Vemir [00:55:11]:
Like what I. What I would think I was getting as, like, what does pay attention mean? It just. What is that thing they said about attention and tension?
Mike [00:55:24]:
It's like if you feel attention, you should start to pay attention.
Vemir [00:55:29]:
Yes, Beautiful.
Mike [00:55:30]:
See, I didn't even know what that. I just made it up.
Eldar [00:55:32]:
Yeah, but it's like you deduced it.
Vemir [00:55:34]:
Do you think it's true? Like, I think it is true. Right? I. Yeah, it's like if something rises up into you, pay attention to, like, what that is. Like, don't avoid it. Like, face it directly. Like, face your fears, that stupid adonym or whatever.
Eldar [00:55:48]:
See, everything goes back to those things that like. So cliche, right?
Vemir [00:55:51]:
Cliche is because people have been saying it over and over and over. Try to get to. Yes, they're like little hints from the angels are like outside the matrix. But if you, like, people just say that shit and then they move on. Yeah, it's all like. Yeah, why does all those fucking motivational Toby Robbins mother actors, they're all saying, like, work hard, believe in yourself because you're tapping into the source of positive energy. It's like, it's all there, you know, like, you're just thinking that you can't, so you're now moving in a way that you can't. Whereas if you slowly over time, heal, unfold, blossom.
Vemir [00:56:27]:
It's like that's what heaven on earth is. I'm kind of presenting the mountaintop because it's attractive.
Eldar [00:56:34]:
Yeah, well, you. That's the selling point.
Vemir [00:56:36]:
Yeah, but the whole point is. Yeah. My philosophy professor Dalugos, you know. Yeah, you remember. I know. He said this to me privately. He said he was reading a book about meditation. And the guy said, meditation in the bliss feels better than sex.
Vemir [00:56:53]:
And he said. And it's true, actually, but it's like he said that he didn't like this author saying that because it's like a cheapening of the selling point or something. Yeah, and I understand that, but like, sometimes you need to like. Like, I can talk. You can talk hood to the hood kind of mentality guy and still get to the truth. Right. Like, Nipsey Hussle was very influential in his community.
Eldar [00:57:16]:
Yeah.
Vemir [00:57:17]:
Saying similar shit to like, you know, wise father or something. Yeah, it's Just the language I was. I listen to dance hall a little bit now and like he's saying spiritual truths in his music, but it's with that Jamaican accent which you might have a filter, like, this is dumb. Or they just talk about stuff. It's like deep truths. It's just a new, you know, flavor. The whole point anyway, going back to it is like, what can you do? It's like if something speaks to you as I'm speaking or as you hear this stuff, like start to just inquire, do a little research and pay attention to why you're, what you're looking for. When you walk into a room, are you seeking approval? Are you looking at people's fashion? Because you're into fashion.
Vemir [00:57:59]:
Like I've clothing. Because you're into fashion. It's like, what about, what about you is interacting with the environment the most? Like, are you walking in with fear? Are you walking in. You know, I love when I walk in here because you guys are like high energy. Feels good, you know, I feel loved in a way. But it's like I feel like whatever your capacity is to grow, you must grow because it'll only help you. I mean, the reason why you're unhappy is your fault always. Which is not easy to say, but it's true.
Eldar [00:58:38]:
Why not? Why not easy to say?
Vemir [00:58:40]:
Because like Sadhguru is saying this, like, well, I think. Oh, why is it not easy to say? Because it's hurtful.
Mike [00:58:47]:
No, you think, you think or it's. We can't logically understand it. Maybe not.
Vemir [00:58:52]:
Like if for the moment we have.
Mike [00:58:53]:
To in our like the, I think a big part of things, we can't say it because we can't understand it. What is actually what we're actually doing. Like if you, if you tell me, yo, you're actually hurting yourself.
Eldar [00:59:07]:
Well, because every time, every time you say a logical structures truth within yourself, you partly kill yourself.
Vemir [00:59:13]:
Well, I have the answer to this question. I think a visionary thinker, right, will have a lot of jump steps ahead that you might not see. That thing over there that they can see. So walking it back is extremely difficult in the other person's mind to do. So you leap ahead to the truth. But they didn't get there themselves and they can't see that thing. It's like, you ever seen that interview with Muhammad Ali? Muhammad Ali is like, he says, I can see so high, you know? And he's like, I can see up so high and I can see everything. And everybody's like, don't do it.
Vemir [00:59:51]:
You know, like, they think he's gonna jump, but he's, like, flying, right?
Eldar [00:59:55]:
Yeah.
Vemir [00:59:55]:
And it's like he's seeing from here. And people down there in mentality or perspective are, like, thinking something's wrong and doubting him and criticizing, like, come down. Come to the safe place. But there is no safety in life. You can only just get stronger, you know? So I feel.
Mike [01:00:12]:
Interesting analogy.
Vemir [01:00:13]:
Yeah. So I feel like Muhammad Ali again. Another flavor of truth. It's like you. And it wasn't about his boxing.
Eldar [01:00:22]:
Right.
Vemir [01:00:22]:
It's about his, like, ascension of being. Like, he's a great character of person. Could say there's like, you know, it's just in different directions that we do that. So particularly to me, it feels like my life is better because of these truths I've accepted, because I've rejected them before. Doubt it. I was in the mind space. I was not in the heart space. I was whatever.
Vemir [01:00:47]:
And you can integrate everything. The one thing people, they kind of have, like, Stockholm syndrome. They're kind of, like attached to suffering and attached to their mind. So they just feel like, oh, shit. Like, no, it's never. It can't be. It's too good to be true. The whole.
Vemir [01:01:03]:
Too good, too much. Whatever that shit is, makes me nervous. I hate that shit. There can never be too much abundance. Always just enough abundance. Right. Like, you can always have more abundance of beautiful things. Don't ever shy away.
Mike [01:01:17]:
Yeah, but, you know, that's what you're saying. It makes sense. There's a lot of. There's a.
Vemir [01:01:22]:
There's a lot of walk.
Mike [01:01:23]:
There's a lot of stuff behind it that what you're saying, it could be us and. But there's a reason those people feel that way.
Vemir [01:01:28]:
There's a reason. But it's like they. People have.
Mike [01:01:32]:
Because there's such a huge thing, I think a huge gap between subconsciousness and consciousness. And I think what you're talking about is that gap is that a lot of people.
Vemir [01:01:42]:
The unconscious.
Mike [01:01:44]:
Yeah. Like, I'm no Avala right now, but. But the point. The thing I'm trying to say is that a lot of people don't understand actually what's happening to them, why things happen to them, because they don't have the ability to reflect or to look back and to say, oh, Too much of 2 of this is bad. Right. I don't think it's a Stockholm syndrome because maybe on a subconscious level, they actually believe it because they actually haven't deserved, like, in a way, to live.
Vemir [01:02:12]:
They're just Used to this automatic programming. Right. They're just.
Mike [01:02:15]:
Yeah, but in a way which provides.
Eldar [01:02:17]:
A certain level of comfort. Right?
Mike [01:02:18]:
It does.
Vemir [01:02:19]:
But it's like. It's like a porn or something. Like it's going to be over long term. Like a wise man is always thinking about the long term. Right. When he makes his decisions. The big picture. Long term, there's no comfort you can have.
Vemir [01:02:34]:
You can't avoid it. It's going to pop up like a pimple. And maybe you'll feel relief after that initial pain of the pimple popping. It's like you have to.
Mike [01:02:44]:
Unless you make it a friend.
Vemir [01:02:46]:
I don't know. Can you make like self coping mechanisms of friends?
Mike [01:02:51]:
Yeah, it's like self inspection.
Vemir [01:02:53]:
No, I'm saying that like. Oh, until you make the problems your friend and view them without judgment. Yes. That's a beautiful thing. Like when you start observing without judgment. That's.
Mike [01:03:06]:
That's the advanced algebra. Right now we're talking.
Vemir [01:03:09]:
Yeah, yeah.
Mike [01:03:09]:
Give me like one plus one type shit.
Vemir [01:03:12]:
You know, this is actually, you could say a weakness or criticism of me. It's hard for me to go back to like level one and stuff. I'm always going to level seven. Whether that's why I'm is being misunderstood.
Mike [01:03:28]:
But that's why we want to break it down on a very simple level.
Eldar [01:03:33]:
Yeah.
Mike [01:03:33]:
So people really understand what is self love.
Vemir [01:03:36]:
To love is to know.
Mike [01:03:38]:
Know what?
Vemir [01:03:39]:
The truth.
Mike [01:03:40]:
What's the truth?
Vemir [01:03:42]:
You are love. Right.
Mike [01:03:44]:
And what is that? And what does that mean?
Vemir [01:03:46]:
Like you're not your body. Nobody identifies with their legs or their teeth. Like you can lose a leg or teeth.
Eldar [01:03:51]:
Even though if you got like these guns right here.
Vemir [01:03:53]:
Oh, I wish this was a video. I wish you had a video. It's like getting started, bro.
Eldar [01:04:01]:
Don't forget it's long term.
Joe [01:04:02]:
What do you mean 4k coming in?
Eldar [01:04:04]:
Yeah, yeah.
Mike [01:04:06]:
We have a serious production.
Vemir [01:04:08]:
I hope you guys watch my podcast when you get around to it.
Eldar [01:04:11]:
Yeah, 100 I saw. Yeah.
Vemir [01:04:14]:
It's like.
Mike [01:04:14]:
Yeah, but you never sent us a link.
Vemir [01:04:16]:
So I sent him.
Eldar [01:04:16]:
He sent me the link. But at first I got a vet the shit.
Mike [01:04:18]:
You gotta make sure.
Eldar [01:04:19]:
Yeah. I can't be.
Joe [01:04:20]:
He's trying to brainwash.
Eldar [01:04:21]:
He's corrupting the user out there.
Vemir [01:04:23]:
Totally. I'm trying to confuse everybody, you know.
Eldar [01:04:26]:
I gotta see if it's, you know, cohesive, you know, I want to puzzle you guys. You know what I mean?
Mike [01:04:30]:
Thank you.
Eldar [01:04:31]:
You don't want.
Vemir [01:04:31]:
Yeah. When you bring me in person though. That's good.
Eldar [01:04:33]:
No I'm giving them a small dose of you. That's why you only come once a month. Otherwise you're going to be explosion over.
Mike [01:04:38]:
Here, you know what I mean?
Eldar [01:04:40]:
Everything that I've been working for, I.
Vemir [01:04:41]:
Say to you guys that I like come when it's my schedule, but he says don't come for another month.
Eldar [01:04:48]:
I invite you every week.
Vemir [01:04:50]:
I know it's all love, baby. So like the whole.
Mike [01:04:54]:
Okay, so back to you are love. Love is you. Okay, what does that mean? Yeah, what does that mean?
Eldar [01:05:01]:
Can you tap into that thing right now?
Vemir [01:05:03]:
It's remarkable and it's scary because it's like you've been burned so many times you can't actually believe that it's actually love.
Joe [01:05:11]:
But it is.
Mike [01:05:12]:
But you've been burned. Why?
Eldar [01:05:15]:
Because it didn't work.
Vemir [01:05:16]:
Being bored, you can.
Mike [01:05:18]:
Oh, damn. You trying to throw us back to the stone age like that.
Vemir [01:05:22]:
Like you're trying to have me walk it back to one plus one.
Eldar [01:05:25]:
I'm trying to walk it back to.
Mike [01:05:26]:
One plus one because I'm trying to. I'm trying to you to give me like a Webster's dictionary version of what?
Vemir [01:05:32]:
Because his love.
Mike [01:05:33]:
Give me the word. The love. What's next to it.
Vemir [01:05:36]:
Why do people criticize society? First of all is because you bring a baby into society, it has no choice but to be raised because it's unconscious until it's 20 and so it's loaded up early. Also we think, okay, maybe it's actually kids have deep spiritual wisdom which then filters from society and parents put on top of that. We can we get fucked by everybody who's unconscious. Okay, so which is the majority of people? Okay, so then society gets criticized for burning you. Your parents get criticized for not teaching you your put your people around you, bullied you because you was that.
Mike [01:06:17]:
And then it's just repetitive cycle.
Vemir [01:06:19]:
Yeah. Either you learn or you become bitter and you hurt the people and the cycle continues. Or you actually wake the fuck up, you know, and like, become who you're supposed to be and then you enlighten people and someone assassinates you or whatever.
Mike [01:06:32]:
Yeah.
Vemir [01:06:33]:
You look forward to. I mean, if I, if I become a billionaire, I'm not surprised. If I become assassinated, I'm not surprised. Like, but at least it's not boring, you know?
Eldar [01:06:43]:
Like, yeah, yeah, for sure.
Vemir [01:06:44]:
I think in that essence it's like, okay, who the fuck are you to say, like, what is love? What are you. Whatever else. It's like whenever I feel that heart center open, I feel like I'm at home. Right. Okay, first of all, I don't know if you can justify based on feeling, but maybe you can, right? It's like if love is a feeling, it appears to my consciousness more than just like my nerve system going off. I receive truths from being in love. My mind becomes calmer. I can be more inspired.
Vemir [01:07:18]:
It's like you're coming towards your highest self or your highest vibration. But again, would you say that love.
Mike [01:07:23]:
Is alike to enlightenment? What would you say that love is like. Is similar to alignment.
Vemir [01:07:33]:
Like pure love. Yes, because awareness is like deeply embedded in. In love. This is again, I'm kind of reaching above my pay grade. Yeah, I didn't want to say that.
Mike [01:07:46]:
I got you. We gotta humble you a little bit too. Don't worry.
Vemir [01:07:48]:
Yeah, it's like, I mean, a freight train.
Eldar [01:07:54]:
Guys, I got just a little bit of time here. It is.
Vemir [01:07:57]:
Yeah. I mean, I don't mean to impose. I gotta, you know, I gotta pack it.
Eldar [01:08:02]:
We've been running amok lately anyway, so you need to.
Vemir [01:08:04]:
I'm here, baby.
Eldar [01:08:05]:
Keep us down a little bit.
Vemir [01:08:06]:
It's like, I mean, to me it seems clear. Like, what was I saying? Like, is love enlightenment? Now I'm reaching, right? I'm not going to talk about quantum entanglement, which I was just reading about is really interesting. The Nobel Peace Prize winners and Anton.
Joe [01:08:22]:
What is that about?
Vemir [01:08:24]:
Okay, so like, quantum entanglement is like they. These guys won the Nobel Peace Prize and they kind of discovered through these things called Bell experiments, which were checking loopholes in a theory that they established during Einstein's time. So this is like during the theory of relativity, basically. Einstein's relativity is now dead. Right. But it's just.
Eldar [01:08:53]:
Yeah, we haven't gotten to understand it yet. So we've not.
Mike [01:08:56]:
So it's fine.
Eldar [01:08:59]:
Einstein moving on.
Vemir [01:09:01]:
Einstein is famous for like looking at the moon and kind of bemoaning like, you really think it's not there unless you look at it, bro. So like. And then it's his colleague and so he doubted this. Like, discoveries in like quantum physics that they were originally doing. Basically, as I understand it, you have two particles that come from a singular source and they go outwards. Let's say they're going like 200 million or 200 light years away from each other. And these particles have a spin up or down. Jerry gets the first one and the other one comes, right.
Vemir [01:09:38]:
So when Jerry gets it, he observes it. It has a spin of up. At that moment, somehow the other particle is so far away, which means that it couldn't transfer the. That would be faster than the speed of light if it was instantaneous.
Mike [01:09:54]:
Yeah.
Vemir [01:09:55]:
So, like, it has a thumbs up sign on one side instantaneously. The other particle has a down sign instantaneously in the universe.
Joe [01:10:03]:
Right.
Vemir [01:10:04]:
This is like, confounding. Like, how is this possible? Is it transferring information faster than light? How is this even doable? So they said, okay, maybe there's a hidden variable. And oh, my God, if someone props me for explaining this well, I'm gonna be so happy because I just read this article like, once or twice, and I was like, really trying to understand it. So the hidden variable, essentially, which is more complicated, is that there's another way that they're communicating that it automatically does that.
Joe [01:10:32]:
Right.
Vemir [01:10:33]:
But it's like, if it's only upon observation, these particles actually don't have a spin set until they're observed. That's the crazy part. Do you understand who's observing it? Whoever is observing it until it's measured.
Eldar [01:10:49]:
Mm.
Vemir [01:10:50]:
Like, it's like you measure this as one inch, and it's like saying that.
Eldar [01:10:54]:
It'S only one inch, that it's only.
Vemir [01:10:55]:
One inch because you observe it in that moment. Do you understand how crazy that is?
Eldar [01:10:58]:
Yeah.
Vemir [01:10:59]:
So these Bell experts and that. And then this means that the mic in Morocco is 2 inches because of you measuring this. That's crazy. Right. So they had this, like, hidden variable thing that they might communicate, which would be loopholes in this original shocking theory. And they just disproved all of the loopholes through Bell experiments, which are more accurate. Proving that our universe is not actually real in the sense of the term, which is that it would exist outside of our observation. Something like that.
Vemir [01:11:31]:
And then this is what deep rock tries to. This is why all the spiritual people are so interested in this quantum physics, because it's like proving. And in line with spiritual text already, you know, like, that the universe is like, you had to have nothing, and then God, the creator, the source, the universe created itself so that you could forget who you are and then re. Realize who you are, and then everybody will be dancing and happy and stuff. That's like the. So, like, a lot of people who are not scientific look at things like the edge of science, like quantum physics and AI as I'm doing. You know, you could say I fall into that problem of extrapolating things to AI of like, oh, it's going to be this and this and this. But it still has that capability, in my opinion.
Vemir [01:12:19]:
I'm kind of making that intellectual leap that Others might not be. So in that essence, it's like, this becomes interesting because we might be discovering secrets of the universe that shake our intuitions. I was just watching another podcast with Sam Harris's wife, Ananka Harris. She writes books on consciousness. Have you guys heard of her? She's like a pan. Pan psychist. She believes that everything has some level of consciousness, like a rock or like a plant, and, like, talked about the tendrils of a plant. I can go on and on and on, but the whole point is, like, she's saying that, you know, shaking up your intuitions is great because she had a striking experience where she thought there was water in a marble, and it turned out that his.
Vemir [01:13:00]:
Her dad broke it. No water in the marble. She was like, oh, my God, I thought something was true and it wasn't.
Eldar [01:13:06]:
Yeah, yeah.
Vemir [01:13:07]:
And I think, no, yeah. It might have false memory or whatever. But, you know, basically the whole point is, like, she. She realized that she could really. And I emphasize this all the time, you can really feel something is true and still be wrong, you know, up until it's not. But people really feel away and they think it's right, you know, and it's.
Eldar [01:13:30]:
I mean, that's. That we are magicians.
Vemir [01:13:32]:
Yeah, you can be wrong, you know.
Eldar [01:13:33]:
Well, that's. That's a. That's an example of us creating something from nothing, which is a feeling, right? Which. There's no truth behind what it is that we're doing. However, we are feeling a certain type of way, so we have that ability. However, it's very subconscious we're seeking.
Vemir [01:13:47]:
Right.
Eldar [01:13:47]:
It's not a. It's not a conscious effort.
Joe [01:13:50]:
Yeah, well, I mean, I never heard of. I mean, I know what quantum physics is, but I obviously haven't deep dives as much as you have, and hearing you explain these theories and finding these loopholes and then, you know, kind of challenging the conscious and stuff like that. But then I listened to a podcast, like Joe Rogan, right? He's talking to his buddy who he does jiu jitsu with. I forget his name.
Eldar [01:14:13]:
Eddie.
Joe [01:14:13]:
Bravo, Bravo. He's a big conspiracy theorist, and he's like a flat Earther and all this stuff. And I just find it so interesting just to listen to this guy because I watch him, and I'm just. He's just constantly challenged by not believing anything. He's so interesting. It's just so interesting to, like, watch this individual and listen to him and then him go off and butt heads with Joe Rogan, because Joe's his Good friend for a lot of years. And it kind of seems like this guy fell off the deep end. But, like.
Joe [01:14:45]:
But still has, like, pretty significant, I guess, like, challenging theories or thoughts. You know, it's like, he's not a complete lunatic because he crossed Vermeeria. Yeah. But like, but then I will awaken. But then I'm listening to Vermeer, Listen to Vermeer talk about this stuff that kind of just like, makes my head spin. And he's an intellectual speaker. Like, sort of like how Jordan Peterson is missed, you know, misjudged. And he's just so intellectual and has lots of great thoughts.
Joe [01:15:14]:
But people just like, you're using that to your advantage, but you're really not. Like, yeah, right. You're really crazy. So, you know, sorry again. What? I met him, by the way.
Vemir [01:15:25]:
Jordan Peterson. Nice guy.
Joe [01:15:26]:
What's this guy's name? The Joe Rogan's friend. I'm sorry.
Vemir [01:15:29]:
Eddie.
Joe [01:15:29]:
Bravo. Bravo. Just seems like, just like this meathead type of jujitsu guy that, like, happened to go on page 10 of Google versus someone, you know, that has a. More of an intellectual background and it's harder to challenge. But, like, so you look at Bravo almost, it's like this guy is uneducated.
Vemir [01:15:48]:
Seems scary.
Joe [01:15:49]:
It's. Yeah.
Vemir [01:15:51]:
Like, I know real life people like that.
Joe [01:15:53]:
Yeah.
Vemir [01:15:53]:
And we do, too. My critic. Are they in this room? Passive Frieza. Safe place, safe space. It's like, in my opinion, with this specific thing, I think conspiracy theorists are doing intellectual, like, safety for themselves. They're scared of the world.
Eldar [01:16:16]:
Yeah.
Vemir [01:16:16]:
And they have to think, oh, I know everything that's going on.
Eldar [01:16:19]:
Yeah.
Vemir [01:16:19]:
I know what's it all really about. Because then it makes them feel comfortable about their position again. It's a. It's a. It's a closing into safety. I am trying to be, like, as raw with life as possible. I'm not asking for, like, problems. I'm asking for the truth.
Vemir [01:16:36]:
And so that's challenging me all the time. And I'm like, thinking like, I will get stronger. I will take the truth. I will learn. Right. And so I consider all possibilities. And then I try to just, like, my friends call me a brutal optimist. Like, I still have faith.
Vemir [01:16:53]:
I still continue. Because there's, like, no other way. Like, this is also victimhood mentality. It's like if you're. I had this, like, three hour discussion and I don't want to act like I'm from, like, the projects or something.
Eldar [01:17:07]:
You can get into it, though.
Vemir [01:17:08]:
But an Individual, like. Yeah. A man or woman. Like a person, a human. If you're in a situation, in any situation, is it better to view yourself as a victim or as someone capable of changing yourself and the world around you? What will cause the better outcome? That's clear to me. That's inarguable. Right?
Mike [01:17:27]:
What. But the variable is time, though.
Vemir [01:17:29]:
The variable is time, patience, strength. Right. And it's like there's so many things that make me feel like. And I get challenged, usually emotionally, for that because I'm not being sympathetic enough. And it's like, they have no idea what my story is. And the shit that I have, I don't release that to the hounds because it doesn't feel like, well, you're over there.
Joe [01:17:49]:
You passed that.
Vemir [01:17:50]:
I feel like I've healed well.
Joe [01:17:51]:
I mean, and you.
Eldar [01:17:52]:
You're.
Joe [01:17:53]:
You're a product of that strength that you're. You're embracing.
Vemir [01:17:56]:
I try to.
Joe [01:17:57]:
And you're trying to share that because you're a success.
Eldar [01:18:00]:
But it's also. The set is rolling right now. When we turn off the mic, then you get to see the real.
Mike [01:18:04]:
Yeah, you get to really see. Bro, come on.
Vemir [01:18:08]:
I actually have a Russian accent. I just throw you an actor, bro.
Joe [01:18:13]:
I think that's. That's very valid. I share a lot of. A lot of similar views with that, you know, but it's. It's got.
Vemir [01:18:20]:
Text my brother.
Joe [01:18:21]:
Yeah, yeah. It's just a very controversial thing because people that don't have that ability to achieve that to. To gain that type of incitement and knowledge and move. Move past that, move on, and they are stuck. I feel like they're stuck.
Eldar [01:18:37]:
Yeah, but for a good reason. No.
Vemir [01:18:38]:
What's a situational thing which is justified because it exists, but, like, it feels strongly to me that you can't let you have to be the change you wish to see. Thank you. Nelson Mandela. It's like.
Eldar [01:18:52]:
Who said that?
Vemir [01:18:53]:
Mandela.
Eldar [01:18:54]:
No, I know, but there's a spin. The yoga teacher says it daily. And yoga, you are what you leave behind.
Vemir [01:19:01]:
Oh, interesting.
Joe [01:19:03]:
But what's easier? Yeah, what's easier?
Eldar [01:19:08]:
Ignorance is bliss.
Joe [01:19:09]:
Yeah. Over time, ignorance is bliss.
Eldar [01:19:12]:
Who has the ability to see the future?
Joe [01:19:14]:
I mean, look, seeing the big. Yeah, but seeing the big picture.
Eldar [01:19:19]:
Yeah.
Joe [01:19:19]:
And putting in the work is a lot harder to do. And like you said, ignorance is bliss. And even when you aren't ignorant and you see the two options, you know, it's very much easier to be.
Eldar [01:19:32]:
To read emotion as it comes in.
Vemir [01:19:34]:
Yeah. But it hurts you long term.
Eldar [01:19:37]:
100%. 100%.
Joe [01:19:38]:
Yeah, you're.
Eldar [01:19:40]:
But to you, from where you're sitting, it might be like, oh, this is a no brainer. Come on, choose the right path. Can't you see this? You know?
Joe [01:19:46]:
Yeah.
Vemir [01:19:46]:
But if you're truly wise, you won't say that because you understand the struggle you had to go through.
Eldar [01:19:51]:
Yeah. You would not be you not be judged. Patient.
Joe [01:19:56]:
Yeah.
Eldar [01:19:56]:
That's what goes back to the situation, the time.
Joe [01:19:58]:
Yeah, I agree. It's. And everyone's on a different. A different track.
Eldar [01:20:02]:
Development.
Joe [01:20:03]:
Be different.
Vemir [01:20:03]:
Development based on their own path. My mom says.
Eldar [01:20:06]:
Which is which we, you know, I think that individuals that do have some, somewhere, some level of awareness should respect. You know what I mean? But I can't even subject them to that.
Vemir [01:20:17]:
Yeah. It's nice to shake it up sometimes. Well, 100 like you challenge them and they're like, they have this visceral reaction.
Eldar [01:20:23]:
Yeah, I think. No, I mean, definitely. Especially if you're having fun with it. If you try.
Vemir [01:20:27]:
And then they inquire.
Eldar [01:20:28]:
Yeah.
Vemir [01:20:28]:
Later they think like, what the fuck was that bother? Like when people say things that used to insult me.
Eldar [01:20:34]:
Yeah.
Vemir [01:20:34]:
That I now know, it's just not true.
Eldar [01:20:36]:
Yeah.
Vemir [01:20:36]:
It passes. Right. I don't know. It's like, yo, man, you're wearing a white shirt. Fuck you. It's like, doesn't apply. Like, it's just, it's nonsensical.
Joe [01:20:45]:
Yeah.
Vemir [01:20:45]:
But it's like, even things that used to be personal to me, I don't feel it. You know, that's like visceral reaction of like healing.
Eldar [01:20:53]:
You reconditioned it.
Vemir [01:20:54]:
I just cleared it away. Yeah. All right. Try to.
Joe [01:20:58]:
That's you. That's you trying to help the people. You know, because when it goes through you and bounces off of you, they're like, wait. And either frustrate them or they'll learn from you.
Eldar [01:21:09]:
Yeah.
Joe [01:21:10]:
You know, and that's you also giving. Or they kill you because they can't understand, like why you're so chill about it. Especially if you, if you then throw. Throw some muscle back at them and it will. What's the word? You make things worse. Escalate.
Vemir [01:21:30]:
Escalate.
Joe [01:21:30]:
You know, if you have the ability to de. Escalate, especially those dangerous situations. That's a gift. I mean, escalation is a gift.
Vemir [01:21:40]:
I was raised as like the wolf, the diplomat. Like in my family I was always the young, funny, like, let's get together. And there were all these adult problems happening. So I learned how to neutralize or diffuse like I have gotten in so many situations when traveling where if I was the wrong person, I would be dead. But I was the right person. Like something was guiding me to. Like I often de escalate so that I can just survive. It's like when it's something serious, I actually get too calm.
Vemir [01:22:09]:
It's like a scary calm.
Joe [01:22:10]:
You know, maybe you're the chosen one. Like you're a reincarnation of the guy we should be following here. Should we further investigate this? It seems like you're either guided, something is. Could you hold that lamp? See if. Shut the.
Vemir [01:22:27]:
Shut the house. What if I did it brought. That was.
Mike [01:22:34]:
Don't.
Vemir [01:22:35]:
Don't.
Eldar [01:22:35]:
Yeah, we're not ready for that. No.
Vemir [01:22:36]:
Yeah, Ouija board is. One day.
Joe [01:22:40]:
It's with. It's with the other. You know, the average folk that are listening understand when you say, no, I don't want.
Eldar [01:22:45]:
Yeah, I don't want people to be under the wrong oppression.
Joe [01:22:47]:
Sure.
Eldar [01:22:47]:
You know what I'm saying? You have to be careful. That kind of power.
Joe [01:22:50]:
We don't want to get started.
Eldar [01:22:51]:
No, we don't want coal foul.
Vemir [01:22:53]:
Because that's what like trust is about.
Eldar [01:22:55]:
Unless you're after that.
Vemir [01:22:56]:
No, the mind is looking for any excuse to jump out of the truth. Like it's trying to just. It's like. It's like looking at the sun or.
Mike [01:23:05]:
It'S like, why, why, why is that?
Vemir [01:23:07]:
Why are people so vulnerable to be like in love.
Mike [01:23:11]:
And you think that's pre programmed?
Vemir [01:23:13]:
Yeah, it's like we've put up what. All these are protective mechanisms, right? Anger, all this shit. I only have like five more minutes, but I'm sorry.
Eldar [01:23:23]:
Make it count.
Joe [01:23:23]:
We got five minutes of juice. We want to squeeze.
Vemir [01:23:26]:
Yeah, whatever you want.
Eldar [01:23:28]:
Guys, line up over here. Take out your hair real quick. We're gonna do a Santa right now. Taking a picture on the Santa's lap. Joe, you can go first.
Vemir [01:23:39]:
Someone call me Walmart. Jesus Christ.
Joe [01:23:43]:
I understand where they're coming from.
Eldar [01:23:46]:
All right, Mike's. Did he answer your question? Are you a little bit more clear now?
Mike [01:23:50]:
Absolutely not.
Eldar [01:23:50]:
Absolutely not.
Mike [01:23:51]:
Really Said a whole bunch of nothing, bro. Yeah, I understand.
Vemir [01:23:54]:
No, you're. You're talking.
Eldar [01:23:56]:
She's a little bit rushed today. That's why I think he had more time.
Mike [01:23:59]:
No, I understand what he said. I understand exactly what you're saying. But I want.
Eldar [01:24:04]:
I want the truth.
Vemir [01:24:05]:
It's like reading about sex. I cannot tell you what it's like. You have to just do like. You will know what love is, then.
Mike [01:24:14]:
You'Re Saying that it's a magical thing that a person cannot.
Vemir [01:24:17]:
No, it's not magical. It's experiential. Right.
Eldar [01:24:19]:
Like, when you touch on that last time when Totally was here, he's like, hey, Mike, you feel like this 10% that you're missing or whatever? It's that thing that I was trying to describe. I'm like, yo, this is what I'm trying to.
Joe [01:24:28]:
Can I bring up a question before you go then?
Vemir [01:24:30]:
Yeah.
Joe [01:24:31]:
So with self love, would you also relate people's inability or hard. Hard fact that they. Accountability is a problem for some people. You know, like the term accountability.
Vemir [01:24:45]:
This is a great topic. Maybe next week we can do like a full thing about what responsibility is.
Joe [01:24:50]:
Responsibility, accountability.
Vemir [01:24:51]:
Immediately. What hit me about this subject when I was looking at it was like, I thought I kind of hyper went into Osho, right? But he talked about responsibility, about being responsible for yourself. But a lot of gurus talk about this. So it's like, what is responsibility? I think it's tied in with free will. Like, okay, if free will is an illusion, okay. But like, to our, like, conscious awareness, it seems clear that we can make choices and become more aware. It's almost like you have to die, but you can make your body, like, more healthy so that you can stave it off. Like, you don't have complete freedom.
Vemir [01:25:32]:
Like, right now, unless you're a guru. You can't fly, you know, in the air or something.
Eldar [01:25:38]:
Yeah. Which one?
Mike [01:25:39]:
Which one?
Vemir [01:25:40]:
I can't tell. They told me not to tell you.
Eldar [01:25:41]:
Okay, okay, fair enough.
Vemir [01:25:42]:
It's not Santa.
Eldar [01:25:43]:
Not ready.
Vemir [01:25:44]:
It's not Santa. Maybe Santa is not. Yeah. Oh, Santa is like an analogy of a guru, right? He shares gifts and he's like, conscious and, like, he makes everybody happy. Takes your fucking cookie, flies and he flies. Anyway, the whole. The whole thing is like, I think, to answer your question, it's like, why do spiritual people get frustrated when people don't change? Because they have free will. Because like you said, they're on their own journey.
Eldar [01:26:09]:
Do.
Vemir [01:26:10]:
Yes. Like, you have. Well, everybody, a lot of spiritual people are upset at the way the world it is. Why their partner doesn't understand them. They're telling them the truth. I learned this thing about. I learned this thing about love. Why don't they get it? You know, it's like, because it was so fucking hard for you to get.
Vemir [01:26:26]:
You can't just explain it in one sentence. Like, you know, like, I mean, but.
Eldar [01:26:29]:
Then they should know that.
Vemir [01:26:31]:
But they're. Yeah, I'm saying it's part of the spiritual journey. That's.
Eldar [01:26:34]:
To carry that. No, but to carry that expectation upon, especially regular people, for them to get it within.
Vemir [01:26:39]:
You know, it's ridiculous, but it's almost like you have all that. My brother always says you have this, like, peach you love and you want to share it with other people you love. You're eager to share it. But again, my mom always tells me, like, kind of keep it.
Mike [01:26:50]:
Well, yeah, I think your mom is.
Eldar [01:26:52]:
Very wise when it comes to. Because, like, if you're eager at beaver, you actually have an expectation there.
Mike [01:26:56]:
If you're eager to. If you're eager to share it, it's your responsibility to share it to people on the one plus one basis.
Vemir [01:27:02]:
That's more. It's more awareness.
Mike [01:27:04]:
I'm waiting for the one plus one.
Eldar [01:27:05]:
Yo. Right?
Mike [01:27:06]:
Yo, Time is ticking, bro.
Eldar [01:27:07]:
He gave you, like, philosophy porn that you're not gonna be able to do anything with.
Mike [01:27:10]:
No, I can understand.
Eldar [01:27:13]:
You're gonna be walking around confused next.
Mike [01:27:15]:
Week after you bother you for two weeks straight, like.
Eldar [01:27:19]:
Yeah.
Vemir [01:27:20]:
So wait, I want to directly answer what you were saying. You were asking about self. Love is like, it's on them. Is that what you're asking? Of course it is.
Joe [01:27:28]:
Yeah.
Vemir [01:27:29]:
It's like you are only. You are responsible for unfolding what's truly inside of you. Nobody can do it. We can make it easier. Right. They say, like, enlightenment is. You don't try to do it on purpose, but you can make yourself, like, more accident prone. Right.
Vemir [01:27:45]:
It's like, to me, it seems clear that since it's. Everybody has this center in them. If you believe that, which I know it's true, it's like the truth. It's like this center can only be discovered by you. Just like how I can't discover it for you. So you have to inquire. Sorry about that. So you have to inquire within in order to find it for yourself, in order to truly understand it and embody it, in order to share others.
Vemir [01:28:14]:
And you saw how that's the last step, right?
Joe [01:28:16]:
Yeah. And so everyone needs to be responsible for their own self love.
Vemir [01:28:20]:
But you can help other people.
Joe [01:28:21]:
Yeah, you can help other people. But I think that's what a guru is. And I just think accountability, it starts with just being accountable for things that you have the ability to make change on, or you have the ability to acknowledge, accept, and just be. Be honest with the fact that sometimes you need to, you know, it's not good. Things aren't going to be done for you. You're not going to be enlightened because you want to be or because you're asking for it. Like, it's not, it's not going to be on someone else's objective. But you, they can help.
Joe [01:28:57]:
You know, people in this room, everyone basically agree to that. We're all looking to help each other or other people that are deficient in that, but we just can't, we can't flip the switch for everyone. So everyone has a responsibility.
Vemir [01:29:11]:
And the last point is that in terms of responsibility, it's like if you understand how powerful it is to increase others awareness, to awaken others, then you have a responsibility to awaken yourself. You know what I'm saying?
Joe [01:29:29]:
Mm.
Vemir [01:29:29]:
It's like if you truly understand that dynamic, then there's no other way.
Eldar [01:29:34]:
Yeah.
Joe [01:29:35]:
Why?
Eldar [01:29:35]:
What's up with this accountability thing, Joe?
Joe [01:29:37]:
What's up with it?
Eldar [01:29:38]:
Yeah. Like tell you, like, what are you thinking?
Joe [01:29:40]:
Well, okay, so going back to the beginning of this, right. This girl in the sky.
Vemir [01:29:45]:
Yeah, right, this girl.
Joe [01:29:50]:
Right. Yeah. Going back to it now. Does. Does she have self love right now, you ask? She might have theories on like, read these books, everything looks great. She's trying to put up the pieces together, you know, she's going along with life, trying to navigate.
Eldar [01:30:08]:
Yeah.
Joe [01:30:08]:
Does she have self love for herself yet? Has she gotten there? You know, is she doing the work internally where she also could. She's loving herself. She could also share that love that she says she has for her husband, you know, and if that's not strong and that's not clear, you know, then she's really kind of just missing the mark here. And this problem that is over her head isn't really the real problem. You know what I mean? And when I come to accountability and responsible. You're responsible for yourself. Everyone's responsible for the. Everyone goes home, goes to sleep, puts their head on their pillow and they deal with their shit.
Joe [01:30:49]:
We all try to help each other, but at the end of the day, everyone's in their own bubble. At the end of the day.
Eldar [01:30:55]:
Yeah.
Joe [01:30:55]:
You know, when you close your eyes, you're in your own times.
Vemir [01:30:58]:
We have visitors.
Joe [01:30:59]:
Sometimes we have visitors. Which is a good thing.
Eldar [01:31:01]:
Good. Yeah.
Joe [01:31:01]:
You know, or it could be a bad thing.
Eldar [01:31:04]:
Depends who the visitor.
Vemir [01:31:04]:
Yeah.
Joe [01:31:05]:
But you know, there's influence.
Eldar [01:31:06]:
What the visitation hours are.
Joe [01:31:08]:
Sure. And there's influences, there's positive, negative influences around, you know, in your life and world. But at the very end of the day, accountability is you being accountable for the things that you face.
Eldar [01:31:20]:
Yeah.
Joe [01:31:21]:
And you can get help from. You can get help or do it yourself. But like, acknowledging and being responsible for your own accountability is, I think sometimes is where people fall short and they accept you. It doesn't upset me. But when people lean on others thinking that it has nothing to do with them. Like when you're in a situation where, all right, I'm in the wrong. I know I'm in the wrong, but I'm not manning up to being accountable for this wrong. And I'm not gonna.
Joe [01:31:57]:
I'm not gonna go and apologize or voice myself or move on, move forward. You know, like, I'm gonna stay back and I'm gonna just acknowledge like it didn't happen and. And not progress. Right. Or the opposite, you know, become friends with an enemy, whatever may have you. And that's what I'm saying. Sometimes people already know deep down inside, they know what the solution is, but they choose not to do it. And that's being responsible and being accountable for the things that you could improve in your life.
Joe [01:32:34]:
Like that, you know, you. You don't have to struggle. You don't have to dwell. You don't have to, like.
Mike [01:32:41]:
Well, a very. Like a sophisticated person who knows themselves very well. You're describing.
Eldar [01:32:46]:
Yeah.
Joe [01:32:46]:
You may not know yourself very well. You may not have this ability to do that. I understand that. But at the end of the. You know, at the end of the day, it's when I. We're not asking for a lot when we're in a world full of millions and of people, that it's. It's not a responsibility of a higher person that controls or overpowers everyone and gives everyone the things to do. This is how you got to do it.
Joe [01:33:13]:
This is how, you know, you got it. You got to navigate the people you're around. The friends, the family, the relationships you have also contribute to that. But this lady is in this predicament, which she sounds like she's conscious of life. She. She. She's married, right? To this guy? Yeah, married, had two children. So, like, you know, that's not easy to do.
Joe [01:33:39]:
She. She's. She's broken down certain barriers.
Vemir [01:33:42]:
She's.
Joe [01:33:42]:
I would consider a mature adult. She knows the basics. Right, let's assume. Yeah, she knows the basics. So there's a certain level or expectation I have for people in this situation to see it and understand what we're dissecting here.
Mike [01:34:00]:
Yeah.
Joe [01:34:00]:
You know what I mean? Like, we're not talking about, like, random people that never.
Mike [01:34:05]:
Funny thing.
Joe [01:34:06]:
Don't have any education.
Mike [01:34:07]:
Yesterday, walking with other Anatolian I said, the simplest things are actually the hardest things.
Eldar [01:34:11]:
We're done here. Thank you, Dennis. Thank you.
Joe [01:34:14]:
Thank you, guys.
Eldar [01:34:14]:
Yep.
39. Building a Kin's Domain: Finding Common Ground in Relationships with Different Goals
Oct 14, 2022•2 hr 34 min•Ep. 39
Episode description
How can couples navigate and reconcile differing visions for their family's lifestyle and future, particularly when one partner desires a more unconventional, community-oriented lifestyle?
In Episode 39 of "Dennis Rox," hosts Mike and Eldar, alongside contributors Joe and guest Vemir, dive deep into the challenging intersection of love, awareness, and visionary living. They explore the tumultuous journey of a couple grappling with differing dreams—one partner yearning for a self-sustained, holistic "kin's domain" lifestyle inspired by the Anastasia book series, while the other clings to conventional societal values like modern schooling and electric cars. The discussion is not only about finding balance and compromise in a relationship but also about the broader implications of unconventional life choices.
The episode delves into the necessity of self-love and personal growth as fundamental to any transformative vision. Vemir draws intriguing parallels between quantum physics and spirituality, emphasizing that reality and consciousness are deeply interlinked. The team also touches on handling disagreements within a relationship pragmatically, referencing various examples from alternative education to radical lifestyle changes. The persistent question remains: How can partners with fundamentally different visions find a harmonious way forward without compromising their core beliefs?
Transcript
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