Sexuality and the exploration of sexuality is at the CORE of queer culture and our individual/collective experiences within that culture. As a love and self-esteem coach, I am a HUGE proponent of exploring your sexuality and becoming comfortable in your own skin, but we also can't deny that sex can have its issues as well. I have worked with many men who struggled to see the differences between sex positivity and sex enabling. Although they may not seem all that different, they are. It's importa...
Dec 29, 2023•22 min•Season 1Ep. 47
In today's society, the influence of drinking culture on relationships is undeniable. While alcohol can enhance social experiences, it can also have detrimental effects on romantic partnerships. So let's talk about the impact of drinking culture on relationships. I think it's important that we look at the role that alcohol has played on queer culture. a. Celebration and Community: Alcohol has acted as a tool for celebration and fostering a sense of community. Bars and clubs have historically bee...
Dec 25, 2023•14 min•Season 1Ep. 46
Vulnerability is the willingness to be emotionally open, honest, and transparent. It is the act of sharing your thoughts, feelings, and fears with another person without fearing judgment or rejection. Vulnerability is often associated with weakness, but in reality, it is a sign of strength. It takes courage to expose your innermost self to others, especially when you have been hurt in the past. Let's talk about the benefits: 1. Improved Relationships When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you...
Dec 18, 2023•18 min•Season 1Ep. 44
What is Detachment? Detachment is the ability to distance yourself emotionally from a situation or person in order to gain perspective, maintain boundaries, and protect yourself. This can be especially important in relationships where boundaries have been crossed, emotional wounds have been inflicted, or the relationship has become toxic. Detachment is not the same as disconnection, it is simply a way of creating emotional space to reassess the situation. Healthy detachment means recognizing the...
Dec 15, 2023•23 min•Season 1Ep. 43
People who are TRULY narcissists are focuses on maintaining control at whatever cost. They will break you down emotionally and mentally over time and will manipulate every situation so that you come to believe YOU are at fault and they are the victims. So, how to you identify a narcissist? It can be very hard in the beginning because their controlling behavior might appear as self-confidence or genuine concern for your wellbeing, but her are 5 common traits and behaviors that you should be on th...
Dec 11, 2023•14 min•Season 1Ep. 42
Infatuation is characterized by an intense attraction to another person, often based on physical appearance or other superficial qualities. Infatuation can be intoxicating, exhilarating, and it feels like you're getting hit by a million different emotions all at once. It's the 0-100 approach of dating and is usually pretty short lived. Most relationships that are infatuation last anywhere between a few weeks to four months. Love, on the other hand, is a deep and lasting emotional connection betw...
Dec 08, 2023•21 min•Season 1Ep. 41
While hookup culture may be enticing or exciting to some of you, it can negatively impact your ability to find a long-term, fulfilling relationship. We've all been there, at least I have and I believe I speak for a majority of men that identify as queer: hookup culture is almost a right of passage. Even if you are someone who initially is not into hookup culture, a lot of people approach dating very casually due to " lack of commitment oriented men. " So, even if you find someone you feel connec...
Dec 04, 2023•17 min•Season 1Ep. 40
As a love and self-esteem coach, I have seen many men fall for the "bad boy" stereotype in relationships. The allure of the bad boy can be strong, but it often leads to heartbreak and disappointment. I work with clients who REALLY struggle with picking the "healthy" guy because they are "boring or too predictable." I understand this in the sense of wanting excitement and adventure in your relationship but it usually raises a red flag for me. The question I ask my clients and I'll ask you now is ...
Nov 24, 2023•21 min•Season 1Ep. 37
Often, because many of us have been ousted by family we create a family of our own… a chosen family. What does that mean? We are more protective of the family we have chosen because of our negative experiences coming out… we become more "defensive" or "protective" of that chosen family. We also cant deny that as queer men, we're a little more sassy and sarcastic. That’s not the case for everyone, but a majority of us have developed a sense of humor to protect against criticism or judgement. Ther...
Nov 20, 2023•20 min•Season 1Ep. 36
Unfortunately, fake profiles comes with the territory of online dating… it's unavoidable. The important thing to keep in mind is personal safety. If at any point you do not feel comfortable or safe, do what you need to do to prioritize your mental, emotional, and physical health. So, what do you do if your date doesn’t look like his profile photo? Here are 3 things to keep in mind: 1. Don't React Negatively It's natural to feel disappointed if someone looks nothing like their dating profile pict...
Nov 17, 2023•17 min•Season 1Ep. 35
Often, there is a fear when meeting your partners parents due to the desire to be accepted. As someone who identifies as queer, you are probably all too familiar with rejection, invalidation, discrimination, stereotyping, and overall judgment. I have found that a lot of that comes from "authority figures" or "peers" which contributes to negative self-image and the desire to win the respect and admiration of people we don’t even know! If you had a negative experience coming out to your parents, f...
Nov 13, 2023•20 min•Season 1Ep. 34
If you've found yourself on the merry-go-round of dating and just want to get the FUCK off of it, its important that you ask yourself 3 VERY important questions: Who am I? So often, I found that when things aren't working out for people in their dating life, they look outward. What do I mean? Here are some examples of what I hear: Everyone is just looking for a hookup. The men out there are all shit. All these boys are immature. It's not me! It's them. How is your potential partner going to know...
Nov 06, 2023•17 min•Season 1Ep. 32
Boundaries are incredibly important in any healthy relationship! If you struggle to set boundaries or to understand what they are, here are 3 that should be implemented in yours! 1. Physical Boundaries Physical boundaries are essential in any relationship, whether it is a romantic or platonic one. In the queer community, particularly amongst gay and bisexual men, the sexual boundaries are constantly being pushed. It is important that you are aware of what your limitations are and communicate tho...
Nov 03, 2023•20 min•Season 1Ep. 31
So what are the 3 perfect date ideas? Lust: This date should be one where you attempt to trigger the lust hormones. Lust is an incredibly powerful feeling that is driven by the desire for sexual gratification. From an evolutionary standpoint, it is rooted in our need to procreate. Now, get two men who have that primal urge and are attracted to one another and what to you get? Hookup culture. I want to be clear because I have mentioned this many times before, I HIGHLY recommend not sleeping toget...
Oct 30, 2023•20 min•Season 1Ep. 30
Differentiating between red flags and pet peeves is VERY important. For me, a red flag is a behavior, character trait, or belief that does not align with your core values or realistic expectations and therefore, would result in a toxic dynamic. Here are the TOP 4 Red Flags that I look out for in a relationship: 1. Lack of Communication Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and you to be able to talk openly and honestly with your partner. However, when one partner consisten...
Oct 27, 2023•24 min•Season 1Ep. 29
Here are the top 5 ways to become more secure with yourself, intern, becoming more secure in your relationship! 1. Practice Vulnerability Here is a good exercise to start practicing vulnerability: share your thoughts and feelings with your partner in small ways. For example, you might express your gratitude for something they did or share a personal story from your childhood. As you become more comfortable with it, you can slowly increase the depth and intensity of the information you are sharin...
Oct 20, 2023•18 min•Season 1Ep. 27
The "perfect person," does not exist. I know this sounds harsh, but it is the reality. So often, I hear this, "the perfect person is out there somewhere!" or "you haven't allowed your perfect match to find you because your wasting your time with these losers." Again, this is a false narrative that you have allowed yourself to believe. Granted, there are a lot of people out there who will waste your time, so setting personal boundaries is going to be very important and knowing when to walk away. ...
Sep 15, 2023•21 min•Season 1Ep. 17
Are you sick and tired of feeling like you aren't matching with anyone who has the same visions of a relationship as you do? Dating in the modern world can be VERY disappointing if you are not utilizing the proper channels, resources, or techniques. In this episode, I will go over dating apps, dating culture, and offer some tips and tricks to help you on your dating journey! Let's have a chat!
Aug 31, 2023•17 min•Season 1Ep. 16
As a love and self-esteem coach, I have worked with many people who have experienced infidelity. In my experience, the focus and emphasis is on the person you was cheated on, however, cheating is a symptom of the disease... not the disease itself. Therefore, it is likely there were issues within the relationship that lead to the infidelity and it is important to unpack it from BOTH sides. The episode is for anyone who has cheated and is wanting tools/resources to repair, reconcile, ensure it nev...
Aug 18, 2023•13 min•Season 1Ep. 15
Getting to the root of infidelity requires very open, honest, and candid conversation with your partner and yourself. Whether you are trying to heal and move on or reconcile the relationship, understand that it will be hard. There will be days that are harder than others but over time, the tough days will become less & less. I wanted to provide you with some resources and tools to help you on this journey. Let's have chat. If you need 1:1 coaching or support, feel free to visit my website at...
Aug 11, 2023•17 min•Season 1Ep. 14
Navigating infidelity in your relationship is incredibly difficult. As a love & self-esteem coach that works with the LGBTQ+ community, I have seen infidelity plague countless relationships. It is your decision whether you want to walk away from the relationship and allow yourself to heal or if you want to stay and fight. Either way, the decision is yours and it will require some guidance and support to ensure you are doing it in a healthy way. If this is you, let's have a chat! If you need ...
Aug 05, 2023•16 min•Season 1Ep. 13
As a self-esteem and love coach, I have come across many couples that have STRUGGLED to communicate in their relationship. The problem is, communication isn't the sexiest topic, therefore, most people don't prioritize learning how to do it the RIGHT way. The reality is, most relationships fail because of communication issues. If you are currently experiencing communication issues or have experienced them in the past and want to learn how to become an expert, stay tuned! Let's have a chat. If you...
Jul 26, 2023•14 min•Season 1Ep. 12
Fetishes can be taboo sometimes, but it's important to embrace your sexuality and not be judged for expressing yourself! As a self-esteem & love coach, I have worked with many individuals and couples who were scared to share their kinks or fetishes with their partner for the fear of judgment, criticism, or even worse yet... disgust. The key to any healthy relationship is the ability to be authentically you, share mutual respect, and have open communication about vulnerable topics. If you are...
Jul 19, 2023•14 min•Season 1Ep. 11
Being Bisexual can be a challenge within the queer community. Unfortunately, a lot of us that identify as bisexual have experienced identity invalidation, discrimination, criticism, etc. The most common remarks I hear and my clients have heard are: 1. You're gay, you just aren't comfortable fully coming out yet. 2. You're just seeking attention. 3. You're selfish. You can't have both. 4. You're not a real man if you sleep with other men. How would a woman ever accept that? As a self-esteem and l...
Jul 12, 2023•21 min•Season 1Ep. 10
It can be incredibly difficult to be in a relationship with someone who is not "out of the closet" yet. Often, you feel like their dirty little secret which can lead to a lot of issues within the relationship and internal conflict within yourself. As a self-esteem and relationship coach, I often find that this results in heightened insecurities, self-doubt, and a breakdown of self-confidence. There is nothing wrong with being in a relationship with someone who isn't out of the closet yet, howeve...
Jul 05, 2023•16 min•Season 1Ep. 9
We hear the words needy & clingy being thrown around all the time, but have you ever stopped to really understand what that means? Have you ever wondered if you display any of those behaviors and if it has resulted in failed dates or relationships? As a love & self-esteem coach, I have worked with many clients that were unaware of their behaviors that contributed to the breakdown of their relationship or contributed to multiple failed dates. This episode is ALL ABOUT neediness & clin...
Jun 28, 2023•14 min
Unfortunately, I work with a lot of people that have experienced ghosting. I myself have experienced ghosting when I was dating. For me, ghosting is indicative of someone who is insecure, lacks self-esteem, or has confidence issues. Often, you try to understand what happened and you can get into the pattern of blaming yourself. It's not you! Even if they weren't attracted to you or didn't feel a connection, that doesn't mean they can't communicate their desire to move on or see other people. Eve...
Jun 21, 2023•17 min
Dating in the queer community can be really tough, especially if you are new to the scene. As a love & self-esteem coach, I work with people everyday you are TIRED of trying to lock down a long-term, healthy, sustainable relationship. The first thing I look at is their dating profile to ensure they are creating the RIGHT profile for the person they are trying to attract. Throughout my years of coaching, I have come across MANY questionable dating profiles, which is why I created this episode...
Jun 14, 2023•13 min
Locking down a second date can be VERY difficult, especially if you are looking for a long-term relationship in a sea of casual daters. As queer men, we often lead with sex, which makes it that much more difficult to be taken seriously when we are looking for a long-term relationship. It leads to consistent disappointment, ghosting, and string of one-night stands. Over time, we get frustrated and annoyed and just give in to the CASUAL dating culture, which further perpetuates the inability to fi...
Jun 07, 2023•13 min•Season 1Ep. 5
I'm sure you have experienced this before if you are a gay or bisexual man. You know exactly what I'm talking about! The guys who say they are looking for something serious but end up ONLY wanting something casual. They guys who wine and dine you, say all the right things, make you feel comfortable, and then all of sudden... they ghost you. Unfortunately, so many people in the queer community experience this which results in you feeling disappointed, frustrated, and let down by MEN. I hear you, ...
May 31, 2023•15 min•Season 1Ep. 4
