You've Got Decisions: Is Our RacePlay Going TOO Far?

Let's go ahead and play our first voicemail and see what they have to say.

Good morning, Mandy is the fifty a Free Jersey, big fan of you and Bazy from Horrible to Station. So I wanted to call because my question was, as someone who's fairly knew to dating in relationships, how should I start doing that in my daily life? Most of my school career was mostly being in education, so I've never really had a chune to see. I'm actually twenty seven, and I haven't had any type of special experience, so that's always something I'm stressing about when it comes to

Not the shade in the voicemail talk about since you, you know, didn't have your real relationship until thirty, how do I date this?

I actually really like this question because I think that there is.

A misconception but a lack of knowledge around how to properly quote unquote date. Right, So, just to recap, you are finally interested in dating at the age of twenty seven, you focus mostly on your school career in your early twenties, and you have not had any sex.

I would be curious if it's just not pressing.

If you are a sexual and that's not something that is important to you, I would be like, these are questions I would ask if this was live. But you having no dating experience and no sexual or intimate experience I think doesn't necessarily have a huge impact on how to step your pinky toe into quote unquote dating.

And here's why.

I feel like where we like oftentimes as women is being able to just enjoy the company of a man, and so I think labeling things as dating makes it a lot more than sometimes what it is.

So say you get yourself on dating apps.

I'm not sure where you currently work, but I would actually start practicing dating by literally just hanging.

Out with men.

I think that that is very important to know how to do without feeling the nerves of what the expectations normally come with in terms of dating. Right, So, find a friend that you either work with, go on the dating apps, and say that you're just looking for friends. I know that they have that feature on Riya. I think Hinge and a lot of the I would say all tender. Personally, from what I hear right now, tender

And I'm saying men because that's what I assume here. By the way, again, because you haven't.

Had sexual intimate experience, you may be attracted to women.

I'm not sure.

And so for me, dating looks like going out with strangers and knowing how to break the ice, knowing how to ask questions about them and share experiences about yourself that you want them to know, having a good time. I think that movies and dinner are fucking boring. It's probably why I don't like to date. I don't know if y'all remember twenty two year old. I met him first at a bar. That was just to make sure, you know, we both got to see each other in

The conversations that often become like.

A little awkward or lean into sex early on, weren't had because we were out having fun.

So that would be like my number one advice to you is just to find people to go out with.

Don't pressure yourself in calling it a date. Don't be pressured in only hanging out with men or women that you are physically attracted to, because I think you have to practice, and I think going out and seeing what you enjoy yourself is a way to weed out like people that'll come later down the line and waste your time. So think of the things that you enjoy doing, whether it be outdoor activities indoor activities like I said, and.

Practice, that's the.

Thing that I realize in terms of me not having a relationship later on, maybe I was like really figuring it out in real time because I hadn't had those early on relationships.

So for mind, you you're twenty seven, I.

Want you to know beat you not old, this is the time And twenty seven is such like a really good age because you should be I assume, out of school now in your career, and this is where you get to have the fun with dating because the men your age and even a little bit older, the niggas in a thirties ain't settled yet either. You're still navigating life, you're still kind of figuring it out. You don't have kids yet, so you have the freedom to kind of like do things on your time. And I think that's

Even when you lose that virginity, he still may not be worth it.

In like hindsight, right, you may think, ooh, I want to give it up to him, and it still may be not the person that you wanted to give it to.

Just going to it knowing that. I think we have to go into sex and dating with.

Realistic lenses, and sometimes we don't because we're fucking growing up with the Disney dreams of someone coming in and being our night in shining armor.

So that would be my advice.

I really hope that you do, and I would love for you d let me know how it goes, Let me know, would love to know when you go on your first.

Three hangouts, call them hangouts.

Go on your first three hangouts. Please please please send it back in and let me know how it went your thoughts. Maybe we could do that thing live and see if my advice ended up helping you. Just got a little taste of the horrible decisions Patreon, but why it's up there? Tap in for the full uncut and way Naster episodes over on Patreon. Go to patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions and unlock all the messyt wild stories and bonus content you won't hear any where else.

Give you the real Check it out. Check it out, Check it out.

We are gonna get now into a You've Got Decisions slash homemail.

Y'all.

If you want to send your questions in, please please please send your questions in to Decisions pod at g dot com.

We will read them aloud, give you our.

Unofficial experted goddamn advice, and hopefully.

You take it or you take it with a gran of salt. One or the other. I don't know.

Now this one is quite quite interesting. This letter reads different type of race play. Now, before we get into this, I do want to give you guys the actual and official definition of race play.

All right. Race play typically refers to sexual.

Roleplay involving themes of racial stereo types or power dynamics. It can involve scenarios where one person embodies a racial stereotype while the other takes on a dominant or submissive role. However, it's important to note that race play is a controversial topic due to its potential to perpetuate harm stereotypes and reinforce historical power and balances. Now we know about this with black and white, but this one was interesting because

That's crazy because bitch Biracials do not operate that way. It's not how it works.

So I guess you you probably look more white because the fact that you're referring to yourself as a white listener and just not really a knowledging that you're Mexican until you told.

Me in parentheses kind of crazy. However, I.

Am getting married to an Indian guy very soon. He is in his early thirties. He isn't super experienced actually, but it's eager to always learn or try, but can be shy, etc. Now I am by and I love this man, but I want to try a lot and experiment with him. The reason I mentioned race play was that there is a lot of cultural differences between us and familial expectations, etc. It feels like I want to introduce him to different things, but I'm not sure how.

Again, I'm super Mexican. Please help. Thanks.

By the way, she refers to herself at the end as the confused biracial bisexual girl, you sound real confused.

Okay, a few things here, girl.

If they talking about if they making fun of him marrying a white girl, you can't say you super Mexican at the end when in the very beginning you mentioned yourself as a white listener and then said you have Mexican, but it depends on the day.

Gir, are you white? Stap it, stab it.

I don't think you embrace or dive into your Mexican or Latino's side enough at this point, Gir, are you white? The fact that he's also attributing your sexual desires and fantasies to being white is very interesting.

I also I also am curious as if this is the person you should marry.

And here's why. I think that you both have lacked a lot of conversation that needs to be had before marriage. You're leaning into your cultural differences. But I think what you need to lean into is your sexual differences. And this isn't just culturally. Him thinking that you're just curious and wanting to be a free coat and nasty because you white, and him saying that traditional Indian girls don't talk this way, don't have these thoughts, don't have these desires.

I genuinely I don't know. I would say, before.

Y'all dive into the acts of sex, you need to give this man a questionnaire. I think you need to give him the BDSM questionnaire. I think you need to give him. There's quite a few questionnaires online and I'm going to probably see if I can add a few for this episode specifically. But I think that what you need to do is lean more into this person as a partner, not just in marriage and not just emotionally. But Baby, this might not be a sexual match.

For you.

I'm also curious if he's leaning into traditional Indian girls. Nothing in here expresses his thoughts on your sexuality. Is he okay with the fact that you're bisexual when you say that you're super experienced sexually and eager to add more things into the bedroom?

Bitch?

Did you bring up that you want him to eat two couchies? Did you bring up that you want to eat coochie in front of him or without him? Like, in what elements of your bisexuality have you had this conversation with him? If he's bringing up how traditional Indian girls are, because I don't know if traditional Indian girls are just out here.

Eating Indian cuchie. I just don't know.

And I think that that's what you need to goddamn ask. Outside of that, I would, I would, I would. I don't know when you're getting married, And again, this would be a question if I was able to ask you live. But there is a lot of things that seems to be missing in terms of what you truly expressed to him, what he's actually comfortable with. And I think that y'all need to have that conversation around your boundaries and what

And I'm gonna leave it there.

I ain't gonna hold you, I'm not gonna say your name, but I would love you to write in and let me know what the conversation looked like around your sexuality with him and what his boundaries are, what are his hard nos? Because I'm wondering if his hard nos and boundaries would actually make you not want to be married to him or in a long standing relationship, if in fact it's going to limit your sexual fantasies, desires, and what you essentially see your sex life as being. You're

All right, y'all, peace, I want to hear more.

Head on over to patreon dot com backslash w h O R e ibl E decisions, See you over there,