You've Got Decisions: Is He A Certified Freak Or Is He Being "Careful"? (Ft. Eddin) - podcast episode cover

You've Got Decisions: Is He A Certified Freak Or Is He Being "Careful"? (Ft. Eddin)

Jun 04, 202520 min
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Episode description

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Transcript

Speaker 1

If you would like to have us answer your questions.

Speaker 2

If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or a terrible threatful guess what You've got Decisions? Welcome to another episode of You've Got Decisions.

Speaker 1

It's Girl Man DV and I'm joined this week with Eden.

Speaker 3

Hello.

Speaker 4

Yes, we are taping.

Speaker 2

This in the A so Weezy is not here today, but it's okay. It's okay because I'm actually going to lean into a very special piece that I have over

on Patreon called Mandy on the Hotline. So this week for You Got Decisions, you're actually gonna hear a voicemail, and I'd love to receive more voicemails from you guys, So if you like to call in and leave a voicemail, you can go ahead and call nine seven three nine three to two zero two to seven, and you may hear your voicemail here, but for sure over on Patreon on our very special bonus content Mandy on the Hotline. If however, you want to send in Aletta, you could

always email Decisions Pod at gmail dot com. We will answer your questions here and hopefully help you.

Speaker 1

Out with your life.

Speaker 4

Do you you have a book.

Speaker 1

You know I do. If you haven't yet, make sure you also purchase.

Speaker 2

Our book, No Holds Barred, a dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power.

Speaker 1

It's the drink. It's the drink.

Speaker 2

Baby, listen, it's it's been a long day. It's been a long day. Also, we're going on tours starting in July, and we want to see each and every one of you there, So please please please head on over to NHB tour dot com and get your tickets for the tour, and of course purchased No holsbard wherever you get.

Speaker 4

Make them New York Times bestsellers.

Speaker 2

Please hear, and then you're gonna help me with this question we got. What's crazy? Is this one just came in fresh? This is a fresh one.

Speaker 3

So.

Speaker 1

Let's see what she's talking about. It looked like a lot.

Speaker 4

This bear with me.

Speaker 1

This one's too minutes. It's okay because she got a lot. She gave us details and I appreciate that. You feel me. All right, So here we go.

Speaker 3

Hey, many minute was free. I'm from Kelly, but I'm gonna keep it short. So I've been sucking with this guy for like six months. Sometimes he's like he's just hot and cold with me some day sometimes. But one day he showed me his medicine captain. I was like, oh, okay, interesting. And then like a few weeks later, I was cooking at his house and he had left a minute, but the medicine cabinet was open, so let me see if he's by if he's taken by polar medication because he

needs so weird. Anyway, I look in the cabinet and I see doctors feeling in prep and my heart like literally stank to my stomach. But I had to get myself together and I was like, maybe he's just like extra careful whatever, because you know, we just like we just like it. But anyway, he had five like side bottles of each of them. But anyway, the next day I asked him about it, and he was like, oh, I don't take prep. I've just been I just got it. So I was able to so I could get the

doctor's filings. I was like, so you acted gay so you can get doctor's feeling. He was like, it's just you take it like I think he's at thirty six hours after after you have sex and you think you've been exposed to somebody solf. He was like, I don't take prep. I just I just give it to my friends when they need it. And I'm just like, I don't know, I don't know what to think about it. I tried, I'm believing him at the moment, but it's still liked damn, like you're really a freakyus maybe in

prep and this amount. But I also was like, maybe he's stelling it. I don't know. He lives in LA and I just want to know what you would think if you saw that, And yeah, thank you.

Speaker 2

Okay, first of all, not you thinking this nigga might be bipolar because he hot and cold with your ass girl. Maybe it's just not that into you first off, and clearly the that already because now you think he gay, but you think the bipolar off off him being up and down.

Speaker 1

With his moods with you or hot and cold. Is coursy.

Speaker 2

I love too that we just love were in the space of mental health where we just are diagnosing, because let's be very clear, my friends, no.

Speaker 4

I'm not.

Speaker 1

Na well for the audience.

Speaker 2

Doxy cyclin I don't even know if that's not saying is it even doctor? Doxy silent cyclin cycling circline doxy broad spectrum tetral. Another guy there work symbiotic commonly prescribed to treat various bacterial infections and certain parasitic infections. So bacteria infections include anything from and here this is what's important.

Anything that causes respiratory infections, so like pneumonia and bronchitis, skin infections like acne or cellulitis UTIs, and then sexually transmitted diseases like chlamydia and syphilis, also tick born illnesses like lime disease. But it's also a common treatment for acnea roisation.

Speaker 1

I say all of that to say.

Speaker 2

None of those things are probably it because prep was right next to it, but that particular one could be used for anything else. Now, the fact that he said he has it and had to get the prep in order to be diagnosed with this one, my concerns are hold on. My concerns are if he knew or claims that this antipibiotic.

Speaker 1

Clears up or saves him from getting.

Speaker 2

Something like a chlemittee or a syphilis within thirty six hours, I would be absolutely concerned for my health because that means.

Speaker 4

He's more probably.

Speaker 1

Out here not using protection. I do like the.

Speaker 2

Kind of preventive measure of getting this antibiotic. However, I would be concerned with how he is having sex with other people. Now, you didn't say that this was your partner. You said that this is a guy that you've been fucking with for six months. To me, and the fact that you're also saying that he's hot and cold, he probably hot and cold dealing with other people.

Speaker 4

Oh, not that what you was saying.

Speaker 1

He could be more hot with others, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2

The only way I think you should consider maintaining this situationship if you like him, would be to.

Speaker 1

Ask for test results, because I.

Speaker 2

Would say, you're clearly in a position where you're fucking him, but you're not together. You're not in a relationship with him, so it's not exclusive. And if you see that this is the medication in his cabinet, I don't think there's any reason to shame him or call him a hoe or but he could be engaging in more risky sex,

which makes me believe it should be easy. If it was this easy for him to talk about why this medication is in his medicine cabinet, this would actually be probably a really good candidate for someone to be like, Hey, that's dope.

Speaker 1

I see like you got.

Speaker 2

Preventive measures in your medicine cabinet. Do you mind if we share results? And because he has the medication, I would say on a monthly.

Speaker 5

Basis, if you think after six I mean, I'm not saying that he can't nor should she ask, right, I mean his initial reaction from after six months to be asked results it's to be I.

Speaker 2

Mean, I'm not gonna lie the way he whether he was lying or not, his reaction was, hey, I only have the PREP, which PREP is still associated to gay men, a gay man drug to keep them from getting HIV.

Speaker 1

We've talked about PREP.

Speaker 2

If you haven't yet, we have a whole episode two speaking about it with Sex with Athlete over on Patreon. But PREP by a man, I would automatically assume you're also dealing with men, let's be very clear. And then the other one for him to so nonchalantly say it's something I could take if in case I'm exposed.

Speaker 5

To maybe he's not comfortable enough. Sure, David, I'm gonna say this real quick. It doesn't matter that they've been fucking for six months. He still might not be comfortable. She'll let her know that he is intimate and it is what it is. We as men could be very insecure by our own sexuality.

Speaker 4

Absolutely right. That's why I don't care about what the fuck I say. Sometimes I'm like, dude, I know who I am.

Speaker 5

The truth, or at least safety comes with a heart troop something it does, because that the reality is that if you want to know it, and I think you're being frank in one of the best way possibles, which is ask for those results, because the reality is is that you're saving yourself and even him, because it could really be either way at one point, right, someone could

be doing something wrong. But here it's there's a misunderstanding and there's something that seems a little off to you, and you shouldn't take a risk with your body if you're feeling it's not worth it.

Speaker 4

Mad other dick right, mad mad other dick mad mad bad? But clearly you like this one.

Speaker 2

I mean yes and no, I mean the hot and cold him being that way. Here's the thing too, ask yourself, would you not want to deal with him at all? If he admits to dealing with men.

Speaker 4

He also might not be bob polar, He might be no, no, no, I just yeah, he does.

Speaker 2

Mean, yeah, he just may not know how to juggle multiple people, so his communication and moods, would you just.

Speaker 1

Multiple people?

Speaker 2

He may just not know how to navigate being on all the time, juggling to so many different people. So yeah, I think you have to ask yourself first off. Okay, he's expressed to me already that he has this antibiotic in case of exposure, which means clearly you're not exclusive with each other, which means you both are dealing with people just possibly unprotected. That's just the truth, the fact of the matter. You have to deal with yourself or look in the mirror and ask yourself.

Speaker 1

Would it bother me.

Speaker 2

Truly psychologically to know that this guy that I've been dealing with for the last six months also engages in.

Speaker 4

Acts with men or acts in general? Do you think both? I mean, do you think she knows that if he's fucking other women?

Speaker 2

Maybe the only reason why the fact that she said she was cooking at his house makes me think, I mean that it might be a little bit more than casual, okay, because you cooking a meal for someone. Okay, And this could just be me projected, y'all know, me for someone is very intimate. You're also cooking it at his house. So I do think that there's a comfortability factor there where she may be progressing to really like this man.

And I think that if that's the case, you have to look at what the hell is that potential looks like?

Speaker 4

You know what I mean?

Speaker 1

Like is this something that you would be okay with?

Speaker 2

Like, he ain't got bipolar medicine, but she got prepped and then now you're thinking she no, Let's be very clear. Can we talk about the delusion she went down the rabbit hole of believing that, well, maybe he's just selling it. Maybe he's slanging that prep in these streets. Girl, you gotta take prep every day.

Speaker 1

Girl, you just ain't.

Speaker 2

Selling appeal to these motherfuckers. They're not get high off prep. So I need you to not think that he out here slanging prep pills.

Speaker 1

Okay?

Speaker 2

Like, so I think you have to be real with does this really bother you because you believe he may be dealing with other men? Have you created a safe space for him to be honest with you? Like, did you immediately did you immediately see.

Speaker 1

That prep and be like, oh, nigga, Like on some bulldog's voice type ship or are you someone that could just be like, hey, we can dig together.

Speaker 4

Just because he's doesn't mean doesn't.

Speaker 1

But I'm just saying, what level of comfortability have you created?

Speaker 3

To me?

Speaker 1

There's a level that he's showing you his medicine cabinet.

Speaker 4

But did he you know what? I think she's maybe she.

Speaker 2

All looked well, no, no, she said she snooped while he was gone. But he's one day he showed me his medicine cabinet, and I was like, okay.

Speaker 1

Interesting.

Speaker 4

First of all, it was probably like OpEd he opened this ship. And then she's like, oh the cabinet.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I didn't know this, mirac I got this.

Speaker 4

And then like then it was fine, okay, balance, you might be onto something.

Speaker 1

He just went in there to grant, he went the medicine bottles.

Speaker 4

He got away like she ain't. But I respect it, you know.

Speaker 1

I think.

Speaker 4

It's tough.

Speaker 5

I think regardless, And I was just having this conversation with front of mine and just in general, yes, be selfish, take care of yourself. Notice, at the end of the day, no matter what he's taking, even if brace it could be a preventative measure. As for the results and protect yourself because really, at the end of the day, you don't want to get called out in any sense at all, and any sense and it's not Maybe it's not out of malice. Maybe he's doing his best to try to

protect them, regardless if he's with men or not. Even though, like you said, right, the reality is that something happens to you, you're going to have to deal with it. It don't matter what's in his medicine cabinet, is about what's going to be in your medicine cabinet. If you don't deal with that, you don't handlate very responsibly. It's not about you being in the upper hand. It's not

about him doing some wax shit. It's about you figuring out and making sure that you're okay at the end of the day.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I agree, I agree. I also think it's just like I love what you just said about being selfish. I think as women, we often bite.

Speaker 4

Our ya y'all take care of us so much, but also or not.

Speaker 2

The and the risk of ourselves being in danger sometimes. I mean, oh, women are very delusional. But I think when it comes to sex and talking about our health that becomes difficult because we weren't taught how to do that, our dumb asses millennials, and I don't know what gen Z sex education looks like now, but we literally were just taught abstinate or else you're gonna get pregnant and die.

So I think that there wasn't enough conversation about how to realistically, without shame and without judgment, have a very real conversation about health. Like, yes, if you are going down on a man and you see something that don't look right, bring your head back up.

Speaker 1

And be like, hey, what is this? I mean, maybe not like that, but okay, but just maybe hey, you don't want anything, so maybe just be like.

Speaker 2

This isn't the right time, this isn't the right moment, and have the conversation later, ask for results, ask for test results, to feel comfortable with these people.

Speaker 1

And again, medication.

Speaker 4

Is there to help, But do you want to have to be Do you want to have to.

Speaker 1

Take medication for the rest of your life? With something else?

Speaker 5

Stop thinking about his, thinking about what might have to be in yours if you don't take the right procedure, because as a day, even though he might still be safe, it could be a premitive measure. You can find yourself in a really tough spot, unfortunately, unfortunately, and you don't want to do that.

Speaker 1

You do not want to do that, I'm telling you now.

Speaker 2

Yeah, So look out of his situation and really be selfish, like Eddin said, and only.

Speaker 1

Care about you, whether you like him or not. Gerder's mode dicks in the sea, there's mouchies in the seed. There's more.

Speaker 2

There are more options for you out here than to be with someone who a may not be forthright about his health or whatever else he's doing.

Speaker 4

When you're not around that hot and cold shit is definitely a big red flag. No, I agree, a big red flag. The biggest red flag.

Speaker 1

Yes to no, you don't date man niggas is hot and cold.

Speaker 2

No, Like that's a normal when you're just dating someone, or you're or you have a situationship, or you're just having sex. Mind you, a lot of women often find it difficult to communicate what type of relationship they want from a man, so they're willing to just take whatever communicating and they want more.

Speaker 5

No I'm talking about them, but I'm talking about that he might be just putting his attentions oide of the woman.

Speaker 2

Or I mean, you know what, I mean, it's not happening, but that's what I'm saying. It's hot and cold. Could literally be also her realizing that she's not getting what she wants out of this relationship.

Speaker 1

I said that from the top.

Speaker 6

I said that from the top, it might not be interested in you, and it might not be that sucks for you. But Andrew, just take the safe route. Accept the heart truth with your safety.

Speaker 1

Accept the heart truth with your safety. That's our advice to you.

Speaker 6

Hunt.

Speaker 2

Now, make sure if you like to send in a letter to you've got decisions, email us y'all. We need to help y'all. Email us Decisions pod at gmail dot com. Or if you'd like to submit a voicemail, send it over to ninety seven three nine three two zero two to seven.

Speaker 1

And we will help you out with your life. Baby, We gonna help you out with your life. Anyways, Thank y'all. If you are new here, I'm Mandy B.

Speaker 2

You can follow me everywhere at Full Court Pumps and also check me every Tuesday on my other podcast, Selective Ignorance.

Speaker 1

But if you want to see my words onto paper and not really sounding like this, it sounds way more eloquent.

Speaker 3

Make sure you.

Speaker 2

Purchase No Holds Barred, a dual manifesto, Sexual Exploration and Power, available now for pre order wherever you purchase your books.

Speaker 1

And get your tickets to come see us on tour NHB tour dot com. Cannot wait to meet you all, cannot wait to hug you all, cannot wait to feel you all.

Speaker 4

Pause, No, I didn't mean them, alright, alright.

Speaker 1

Anyways, Thank you guys for another episode of You Got Decisions.

Speaker 4

See you guys next week

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