You've Got Decisions: Envious & Inspired but SINGLE AF (Ft. Jasmine) - podcast episode cover

You've Got Decisions: Envious & Inspired but SINGLE AF (Ft. Jasmine)

Oct 08, 202540 min
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Send us your questions Decisionspod@gmail.com 

Follow the hosts on social media Weezy @Weezywtf & Mandii B @Fullcourtpumps and follow the Decisions Decisions pages
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“No Holes Barred: A Dual Manifesto Of Sexual Exploration And Power” w/ Tempest X!
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Transcript

Speaker 1

So we go back to the room and I'm excited because I'm going to meet them.

Speaker 2

They got the VIP section ready over at the pool, y'all.

Speaker 1

I get completely naked in front of this man that I just met, okay thirty minutes ago, and I say, I'm gonna be adventurous.

Speaker 2

I'm gonna put my butt plug in. Yeah. So this of the room. Well, now we're all getting naked.

Speaker 1

We just went and I'm like, I literally go on the bed and I told my thing and I'm like, okay, let me put the cover work is Chris was like, you're gonna put this buck plug in front of this guy?

Speaker 2

I say, well, you're gonna turn.

Speaker 1

Around, but I got a focused guys, and it's like a it's a regular sign.

Speaker 2

It's not small this day. This is Thursday. Okay, this is day one. No, this is Thursday night. So this is he just landed my friends landing. Yeah.

Speaker 1

So I'm literally as naked in the room and I decided to put a book plug in my ass in front of this man. So we go to the pool. Immediately pull up to the pool, shake my home show.

Speaker 2

Everybody in my book plugs. It's cute. Inspired me to wear mine to the newde Pool for that day. Yeah. I was inspired people.

Speaker 1

So anyways, we go, we sit and literally it's casual. It's casual. We're sitting there taking drinks, We're talking. Yeah, I've learned about this, but I just have I just suck cop upside down in the water that night.

Speaker 2

That's O d I did. I'm just did you have breathed?

Speaker 1

I had a sewing. Oh, same difference. That the same difference. Yeah, and I even had a hair tied. That was like like I could go in the water to keep the roots down, you know, because I wanted to look ready ready your from sucking and dick, it looked.

Speaker 2

I'm such a dolphin. I literally was floating on the top of the water.

Speaker 1

And He'll find you might be one of the aliens because it's the way your work.

Speaker 2

I don't have the same human bodies, Like how are you not falling?

Speaker 1

And I literally was just laying on the floor on air and you're not how they were sitting out the fucking pool. He was sitting outside of it, so like it's just balls hanging, dick hanging, and I'm laying upside down in the water and I'm like literally swimming and looking.

Speaker 2

At his ball you got the stars, and I'm like, this is sound great.

Speaker 3

Girl.

Speaker 2

This Jamaica mushs different. No, don Jamaica mushals it was different. And he was taking only double dose that night. I don't know what dosage we did.

Speaker 1

All I know is he said he never done a bit fining the dose and he's say I was like, well, you're with me, you're saying you're safe strangers. So he takes truth for the first time.

Speaker 2

And at this point, the other guy that I thought killed my.

Speaker 1

Friend was my fault serial killer all week because at this point, nigga, you killed my friend.

Speaker 2

Even though she's a lot.

Speaker 1

So anyways, he pulled up. We actually start flirting first because I'm done in the trans and me and this guy. Even though he's with me and he's attractive, you know, I wasn't getting no play bitch. Apparently as soon as he saw me parting with this nigga, he just the whole I think I saw when he came up the hat becaus.

Speaker 2

I was like, oh, we get a little territorial. You know what's crazy. My best friend peeped it too.

Speaker 1

He didn't know, so immediately I started playing with this nigga about him ordering Coke zero.

Speaker 2

And ship, and I said, hey, hey, hey, don't judge us. Coke zero judges you're gonna do it. Well, I see, is that how I flirt right diabetic?

Speaker 1

Look, that's great? Okay, okay, I mean that mad Sagar all right, that's not the flirt I talked ship.

Speaker 2

So clearly I'm flired with this guy. Because he walked up, he looked like my ex. I was like, oh, yeah, hey, this nigga. Immediately like hand around my.

Speaker 1

Wrist and then Dick just gets hard and start poking me. And I'm like, he's still ordering shots and now you are again. But now I'm like feeling his energy. Damn, I'm feeling his energy.

Speaker 2

And then I reached down. Literally I just started dad sounded like people, good time. Literally, where are you from?

Speaker 1

No?

Speaker 2

No, we're having a.

Speaker 1

Full conversation about like where we're from, coke zero things, stroking his dick under the wall.

Speaker 4

If I would have had my waterproof cards out, we would have been playing speeds.

Speaker 1

That is so where at this time station. I'm choking his big Then he starts kissing my ear and then I'm.

Speaker 2

Just like fuck it. We're gonna go fuck. So I take him over to the cave. There's a cave.

Speaker 1

There's no no, no, we're not there yet, the cave with waterfall, because we both like, I didn't know till later that he has like he can't.

Speaker 2

Perform in front of bad people. Oh you performance anxiety. He guess that sometimes he lost it my day too, because I don't know I was yet. He's been to parties, he's been to these things. He can't. So go to the cave where the waterfall is covering us.

Speaker 1

My fucking Condon bag is floating in the water, and now he's fucking the ship out of me. Then we take it out the cave. He lays me on the side of the pool in front of the cave. It starts smoking to me, but the.

Speaker 2

Mat is like it's uncomfortable's uncomfortable. It all last very long there, and I said, let's go to the beach. I want to fuck on the beach.

Speaker 1

At this point, mind you lick, he don't fuck the ship out of me. I'm like, oh, this feels great. So we go to the beach and it's fairly empty because at this point it's probably two o'clock three o'clock and everybody's at the pool. Everyone's at the pool, so the beach is empty except for a couple. One couple is on the beach and they're fucking. So we end up getting like two rolls on the benches away from them and start fucking.

Speaker 2

Look at mind. Look there is no warm water. You can't see it now. This one is gone. But I still my elbows were were were not only wrong.

Speaker 1

So I'm sitting on lists are battery each chair, no, the beach chairs the day shattered scars because you you don't realize you didn't.

Speaker 2

Great is the chair the chair and.

Speaker 1

He's spoking me and he's like, I'm gonna make that pussy square And you know I talked ship, you ain't gonna make my pussy square. Baby on the goddamn chair, back to back. He just has me squirting on the beach and I was something, fucking yeah, that beautiful. He's just looking out the fucking like the where the shrooms hitting him. He stops, He's like, we should go fucking that tree.

Speaker 2

There's a tree on the beach, bitch. And he said when I said tree, I thought his name was bitch. We fucked in a trick. That's why she calls him tree. So he just because baby sitting.

Speaker 3

I'm like, what was the tree? She we didn't get there, and I'm like, yeah, we're here now. Ironically, the other is tall exactly were those he he's a tree mighty.

Speaker 2

This is the funny part.

Speaker 1

He the next day told my best friends, Yeah, I don't think those shrimps hit me. I said, I'm pretty sure that's why we ended up.

Speaker 2

In a tree. This happens so literally, He's like, let's sucking a tree.

Speaker 1

Like I've never fucked in a tree, And I said, you know what, me neither, and I don't like we should like try to fucking this tree. So literally, the tree is like a tree that's kind of big down like you know, the branch curved. So at first he wants both of us to climb the tree. Climb bitch this nigga end of the like Tarzan, no lie, he said,

I got this, and he starts climbing the tree. He gets on the tree branch and sits on it, and I'm like, well, I don't think I'm gonna be able to go there, so let's just like this.

Speaker 2

Yeah, a little baked up because.

Speaker 1

I just want you to understand that everybody who saw y'all probably thought y'all were losing.

Speaker 2

Y'all know, Yeah, this is huge.

Speaker 1

Yeah, so he climbs the tree. He sits down on the tree, and I'm like, okay, here we go. So I grabs Ad to make sure he doesn't like, he doesn't fall, and I immediately just go to go to work and start sucking his dick while he's in this tree. I've never said dick and smelled the tree before, mind you, It's gotta be my experience of this. Of this is

literally smelling the tree. Because I'm going like this, I never smelled moss and leaves and bark while I'm sucking a dick, and so maybe the shrooms had my sexes up.

Speaker 2

I'm like, I will do that. I'm like, I'm literally fucking this, nigga. Day one. This is day one. This is there was day two for Mandy, for everybody, for everyone. Yeah, so him, my best friend, everyone just got there. So we leave the tree and we go back to the pool. And now I'm talking about this tree, nigga.

Speaker 1

But here I go, Hey, I don't want anyone to know that we just fucked, So come come, like if for me, you can't that.

Speaker 2

I don't know. I don't know, because I was like, I think I wanted to like not be linked to a nigga that quickly. I want people think that. Yeah, but you're talking a tree. And also there were still people coming the next day, so no, no, no, no, no no no.

Speaker 1

The first day there was seventy people. But I feel like I didn't meet everybody that first night.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I didn't just want him to.

Speaker 4

Be She's like, I want to I want to see all your friends. I want to see I want to see the variety. I want to see the best. I want to see what you want.

Speaker 2

They a bunch of you ready. So the jungle area so you could technically the jungle air was so nice. The playrooms.

Speaker 1

Yes. So then we come back into the pool separately, and I'm excited I come and you were there, Okay. I talked to a group of girls that I had been seeing throughout the day and I was like, y'all, I just fuck this nigga in the tree. His name Tree if he ain't e sqirt like five to and I'm bragging about this nigga.

Speaker 2

No. Finally he get in the pool and I'm like, oh that's tree bitch. Everybody there's host this nigga. You just got a little taste of the Horrible Decisions Patreon. But what it's up there?

Speaker 1

Tap in for the full, uncut and way naster episodes over on Patreon. Go to patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions and unlike all the messy, t wild stories and bonus content you won't hear anywhere else, and now here's You've got decision.

Speaker 2

If you would like to have us answer your questions.

Speaker 3

If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or a terrible throatful guess what.

Speaker 2

You've got decisions, You've got decision. Welcome back, y'all. Ride up day.

Speaker 1

Honestly, every day is hump Day, but everybody else three day day.

Speaker 2

There's about twenty eight days out of the month that it's hump day.

Speaker 1

I am God's favorite, so three days out of the month I'm not humping and someone else.

Speaker 2

Is his real favorite because they don't get a period at all. They just ad oh, ballad ballot.

Speaker 1

I do wonder if each nigga got a menopause, hope, like one who just don't get periods anymore? I mean in control, you don't get a period, or you might just spot randomly. And I think niggas will pass the spot.

Speaker 2

They will, it will. I feel like I don't care. I'm a vampire. My nigga like get more than normal. That's disgusting, all right, I'm the horniest during that time, Oh my god. And it'd be like I preak even watch a romantic movie. No need ice cream. You know what happened Kevi on stage.

Speaker 1

Anyways, guys, welcome to another You got decisions. We have a letter this week that says, wait, we got a guest. I know NBS and inspired single af. We have a guest helping us break down this email. We have Jazz, the founder, the creator, the fucking pioneer herself of Jacko Bliss.

Speaker 2

Baby, and if you haven't yet, make sure you join.

Speaker 1

Patreon, because baby, we talk about the time that was had chuckle Bliss travel group.

Speaker 2

Y'all.

Speaker 1

I'm doing it again next year, running it back again. If you want to hear all of the nasty, filthy things that took place. I'm not even gonna lie Wesi.

Speaker 2

I had to think about what I was going to share it. That's how bad it was.

Speaker 1

Like I'm not like, I'm not sharing everything I did because I'm embarrassed to even share on our goddamn platform. Did you get did you get fucked by Ser Marvelous like you said you we'll talk about it, We'll talk about it round back away And.

Speaker 2

I said, fuck that. I used my hand motion. If you go over to Patreon, she discussed being a not an amuse amused for Marlous.

Speaker 1

I wasn't fucked by Sir Marvelous, but I was finger popped graciously, So go on over to Patreon. This patreon dot com backslash horrible decisions. There is so much over there shared. I will tell you now, ladies, have a pennyliner in your panties before you listen to it. And Fellas put a goddamn now, oh it's it's it's it's wild like it doesn't like it wasn't real life.

Speaker 2

Anyways, Let's get into.

Speaker 1

Ours wearing the fish neck literally war it just for the episode over the Patreon and watch the video on this because this fitch is still wearing her dufty wine clothes.

Speaker 2

Let me live Jamaica tea. I literally brought this. I said, we've been to be talking about Jamaica. Did you wear it there? Yes, yes, Jamaica. She has I want Jamaica. You don't do this. Don't do this, you know how much.

Speaker 1

My best friend was like, Bitch, everyone knows you're in Jamaica. You don't have to have the flag or all these Jamaica clothes off, So mind you. I'll set her my little fashion oble. She said, bruh, can you not go to the island that you're from looking like a white tourist.

Speaker 2

That's not to get braids and beans and everything was Jamaican.

Speaker 1

But because here's the thing, right, everything was themed out but for dinners and stuff you had to have clothes on.

Speaker 2

So bitch ill bought all the little Jamaican dresses. I'm not gonna lie the way you be thinking it's cute. So I put on one of these outfits recently to go to a pool. My homegirl. She goes, where are you going to grill?

Speaker 3

And I was like, I'm often to go back up, Like, isn't funny where it is Jamaica.

Speaker 1

It's funny because whenever you see the girls on the little rafts, they all had Jamaican outfits on.

Speaker 4

Bitch, who was going to the Bamboo Rafts stated we did the excursions because every.

Speaker 2

Had a T shirt ahead Jamaica. Everybody says, oh, everybody goes to the rest.

Speaker 1

You know.

Speaker 3

One of the craziest videos I've ever seen on the internet was a girl on the raft.

Speaker 2

I don't know if I'll remember this video, but it was on Twitter. She was getting fucked with no no, no oh. She was getting sucked by.

Speaker 3

The so she was getting fingered at first, and then the dude was about to fuck her and she goes, no, get a condom and he got a plantastic bag.

Speaker 2

Oh yeah, And that is the level of horny. I never want to be Whoa again. On Patreon apparently I went to Jamaica horny.

Speaker 1

Anyways, listen into Invious and Inspired single af Hey, Mandy and Wheezy, Ope you're both doing well. First, I just want to give you all your flowers congratulations on being New York Times bestsellers. Discovering you both many years ago was truly a gift. Finding you has meant so much to me, especially seeing two corporate women transition into such a dope space.

Speaker 2

I'm loving Noah's bard. It's beautiful, sexy and honest.

Speaker 1

I'm reading it in small breaks because it's making me reflect on my own love life and relationship life. Thirty three year old British born black woman, and I've always struggled to see myself as sexual.

Speaker 2

I lost my virginity later than some wasn't.

Speaker 1

Really bothered at the time, and post university I mostly had hookups rather than real dating experiences. I've had one brief relationship in twenty nineteen and otherwise been very casual. Mandy that Mexico threesome story and Wheezy your freedom and softness with your current partner.

Speaker 4

Wow.

Speaker 1

I've listened to y'all and the guests and tried, but I still don't feel seen at all. I've tried approaching people on dating apps and even paid on apps, but it hasn't really worked. Are men afraid of approaching women these days? Dating in the States seems so much fun. Also, one thing I've been curious about during a threesome or being intimate with other people in the room, how do you feel okay with your bodies, especially around other women.

Speaker 2

My belly would be on my mind constantly.

Speaker 1

I fear reading your book and hearing about the fullness of your experiences makes me both envious and inspired. I guess my question is how can I feel seen, desirable and whole while dating is a thirty something with limited experience?

Speaker 2

I've I'm scared I've missed my chance for fun sexual experiences.

Speaker 1

Sorry for the long message, I just wanted to share how much your work inspires me. I'm only halfway through your book and I'm already so expired inspired by y'all and who you are. I've attached my photo. Feel free to judge. Not gonna judge you because girl, you're beautiful and I don't see a belly? But that's right, where's the belly?

Speaker 2

I don't see? I I gotta zoom in this girl was ki on the camera? I didn't. Oh she is okay, so let me judge the altfhit. I'm just playing. So the you're traveling, you out, you look like you and Europe stopping in that picture? Maybe is little She's British, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, but she's still traveling. So the question is Europe is cold, but she's a crop tops not belly.

Speaker 1

How how can you feel seen, desirable and whole while dating as a thirty something with limited experience? That don't think any of us have limited experience but for those first three things, but we.

Speaker 3

All probably have a friend or family member that does. I'll be honest. The more of been watching different shows and talking to different people, I've learned a few things.

Speaker 2

So we all know. I'm a TLC girl. Mandy's the Bravo girl.

Speaker 1

There's a new show on TLC called Match Me Abroad, and there's a girl on there who claims she's been on seventy five first dates.

Speaker 2

Now it's a lot. That to me is a lot.

Speaker 3

Then we're having a conversation. I'm watching what my mammy's like, not really like, how many you think you've been on? I'm like, I don't know, maybe, but eventually it gets to another one. It seems like what she's saying is the seventy five leader nowhere. Oh okay, so you know what I'm saying, my first dates and they don't go nowhere.

Speaker 2

Okay, So you're hotter than her. You are a really cute girl. This girl was not.

Speaker 1

However, I would even say to me when I heard this letter, I'm like, what she looked like? Because you assume if someone's not getting nowhere, they're unattractive, which isn't the case, right, that's just what society.

Speaker 3

Wants to think if men aren't locking it down, et cetera. Guess what we walk around us, the ugly people with babies and happy families all the time. You know why they are dating better than us. And what I learned from watching this girl is that a lot of the way she dates is a problem, whether it's her attachment theory, he attachment style, maybe how hard she goes, how people.

Speaker 2

Pleasing she is.

Speaker 3

So she goes on a date and they're filming it and the dude is like just a erratic and he is like fucking around about hot sauce puts in his eye, just being wild, and she doesn't say that she's uncomfortable. She was like uncomfortable, but saying it to the side of the camera, like just not expressing herself at all. So what I'm learning through this experience, through this experience watching her and other friends, is they aren't.

Speaker 1

Vocal in dating experiences. They're letting men lead because they don't know how to say.

Speaker 2

What they want.

Speaker 3

And there's this weird juxtaposition of how do we let a man be a man if you're dating men but also feel like we're being desired without being too forthcoming, and for that, I think it varies for each person. And this is why I think dating coaches actually matter, because the person is watching the footage of her and they're commenting back.

Speaker 2

And so we've had a few dating coaches on that get to talk about that. But in reality, all the.

Speaker 3

Advice you're watching on horrible Decisions is per different women, per different men they're dating. And who knows what conversations I'm having with men versus Mandy, you know what I'm saying, Like, it's all different, right, So I really think that dating coaches get to hear your real story. This is beyond therapy. Therapy is the deep shit that we're all insecure about. But if dating coach actually figures out what the fuck.

Speaker 1

You're saying on a first date, I'll string out your excess. Are you bringing up that nothing ever works out? That's a big fucking downer too, Like don't tell me how it never works out and you're tired of going on day and you're blah blah blah blah blah.

Speaker 2

Like no, it's a new person, have a new attitude with it.

Speaker 3

But a dating coach does uncover all these things, and I know it's pricey, but I've just heard.

Speaker 1

So many good reviews from people to get dating coaches. Even if they don't get to.

Speaker 3

The finish line of like marriage, if that's what they want, they still seem to like learn something about dating that's helpful.

Speaker 2

So that would be my advice a dating coach. Yeah, okay, my advice. Actually, I might be a little lengthy too, Jason.

Speaker 1

What would your advice be for someone, because I wonder if it'll be similar, What would your advice be for someone who's battling with their desirability and you know, sexual prowess in their thirties.

Speaker 2

So I'm out in these dating streets heavy and hard. I'm on hinge.

Speaker 4

I'm on Tender. And one of the things that I do is I look at how I curate my profile. What kind of pictures am I putting out there? What am I saying? So tender and each one is kind of set up differently. Oh, so tender, I put in I don't suck dick. If you want me to suck dick, there is a hookup. Tender is more hookup. I don't put that in there, But on Hinge I put I'm ethically non monogamous. So now they have like this new feature where it's like it's a match note, so people

get a second chance. It's like read this and if you still want to pursue this, wowhead, then then click it. So I put in there I'm ethically non monogamous and if this is not for you, cool, don't don't hit

me up. But I think one of the biggest things for me evolving was figuring out what I wanted because I used to dim myself, dim my sexuality, dim how much I love sex to fit into what I thought was what I wanted, which a traditional relationship, And once I became more comfortable with I don't traditional, it's not for me, then I was able to date better and meet more quality people and meet more people closely align with what I want in a future partner.

Speaker 3

Do we think it's safe to say, though, I would argue the ninety percent of women maybe even ninety five want a boyfriend when they go on to app Do y'all think that's true?

Speaker 2

Not today?

Speaker 4

I don't think so today. Do you think the percentage of women is that are looking for a relationship. I think there's still maybe like fifty percent fifty. You think it's fifty now, I mean, and that's what the sidle. The studies keep showing how much, especially in your thirties and forties, how many women are choosing themselves and to be single because they're happy or like they feel more in charge of their autonomy in this lane because they're

making money, They're focused on their health more. They realized if they have kids or they don't, they either don't want anymore or they're just happy where they're at. I don't want to know them make them less happy, So but I don't know.

Speaker 3

If they're not looking when they're on that dating app for relationships, I think that's.

Speaker 2

Actually that would be my advice.

Speaker 1

I mean, I think, you know, focusing on kind of what JAS said, focusing on what you want and also figuring out how to be confident enough to say it to a man. So what's the hardest part? So you said, how like a lot of women will dim themselves. I'm not going to hold you like. I was just with

one of my boyfriends. He came to Atlanta, and it was so funny because we're just openly talking about how we interact with the other people in our lives and we out and bitches is asking him for money for like food and gas and shit.

Speaker 2

Like that, and I was like, it was like, yeah, it's not bad.

Speaker 1

Like one girl asked me for her nails, so I immediately said, listen, I'm going to get my nails on Friday, and I need you to pay for them. Like, even, I think opening your ears to how you see someone else treat someone. If you're talking to someone you're dating, and this man says he really likes steakhouses but invites you to Dave and Busters.

Speaker 2

That's alarming.

Speaker 1

Like, I think you have to really see and hear how a man dates and how he's showing up to treating you. And then if you hear he's treating all these other women a certain way, don't feel like you can't get that same treatment exact, but demand that same treatment.

Speaker 2

I gotta be honest. I don't leave room for men to really tell me about other women that much. Well, but like.

Speaker 1

He's boyfriend, he was like, and my boyfriend number two, Like how we met was how we met, but he knows there's four guys right now. So for us, even it was so crazy because we just had a conversation and he was like, yeah, like I was jealous when you were getting up.

Speaker 2

We went to it.

Speaker 1

Anyways, well we went out and he was like, I was jealous when this happened, and I was like, okay, I said, that's a normal human feeling. You're going to feel jealousy and let me know if I violate you or across the boundary. But like, so we're open right now about who our other partners are. So that's why I said that. But for the for the person who wrote in who's curious about feeling more desirable, I want to lead.

Speaker 2

Into that unseen. That's a big one. Feeling seen.

Speaker 1

Well, and this is gonna sound a little crazy, but if you in Europe, bitch, they have them. One of the places that has made me and my friends feel so confident about about ourselves. And even I heard it happened at Jamaica. Baby go to a new beach. Yes, in the UK they have the times.

Speaker 2

Mad beaches' sexualized. I'm not talking. I don't count K's Europe.

Speaker 1

Sorry, but even if you said she travels in Spain, there's mad there's mad coaches in Europe, like majority of Europe.

Speaker 2

If there's a beach, there's a beach.

Speaker 1

Also some anyways, like to finish because I wanted to land this plane real quick. Because the conversation around desirability and feeling comfortable even in sex was a conversation I had a lot with with women in Jamaica. And it's a conversation I had when I went to Gunnison, and

it's a conversation that I often have. We're so consumed and you talked You've talked about this sweezy too, about aesthetics online wherever is photoshopped and finished and perfect and cinched, and we have this unrealistic view about what.

Speaker 2

Bodies look like.

Speaker 1

And so when you go to like a nude beach and a lot of them people are regular, some of them even have their kids. You get to see real body, yes, and boy is it just kind of like it's reassuring to how you exist in your own body to just see real bodies. And again it's not sexualized, but you're walking around and seeing, oh, this is what's under everyone's clothes, and there's stretch marks, there's saggy city, there's a football, there's cell You're.

Speaker 2

Like, like, real bodies look like your body, and girl, you gotta do a body. I'm looking at it here.

Speaker 1

So I would say to feel more desirable or confident in your body, to find a way to get around actually seeing real people, seeing real people, But it's also looking.

Speaker 4

My grandmother used to tell me. I'd be like, Grandma, I'm fat, I'm ugly. She's like looking in the mirror. And then I'll be like, well, if I look in the mirror and I see that I'm or ugly or I'm not attractive. But it took me a while and took me older. It took me actually going someplace like Hito to understand when she said, look in the mirror, and it's not so much visually what you see, but

it's like that's your truest form. And if you can't look in the mirror and learn to love you at your most vulnerable, you're not going to be able to

love yourself. And when you go to Hito or any kind of nude space in a non sexualized way, I couldn't tell you what half the people look like naked on that trip, but I can tell you about the conversations that I had with people and the connections that I made with people, and it's kind of like you're there, You're nude and you're bearing it all, so I have

nothing to hide. If a person is attracted to me, they're genuinely attracted to me, because you're going to see the cellular You go and see these stretch march, you go and see the belly.

Speaker 2

You're going to see everything. And then when I put the clothes on, it's just like.

Speaker 4

Now I'm flexing because I already know what's under here. But when I put my clothes on, I feel stronger and I feel empowered because if I can sit and have a conversation with somebody but ass naked and it just be a really good, deep conversation of just connecting with people, it's like you've already seen the worst.

Speaker 2

I liked that.

Speaker 1

You can say that, you do. You know that there was a dating show. It was called Dating Naked. Yes, it's they literally had people because Dating.

Speaker 4

Naked, I promise you there's people on the trip who have these beautiful bodies stacked like the and there's guys who were ripped. And at one point I used to be intimidated by guys who were super you know, athletic, because I've always been a big girl. I've always been a big girl I've never been skinny a day in my life, and one day I was like, I can get him.

Speaker 2

I'm worthy of him.

Speaker 4

Just because I'm chubby or I'm plump doesn't mean that I can't back someone who's got an eight pack and who's an athlete.

Speaker 2

I believe that's the skinny girl rhetoric.

Speaker 1

Actually, Like one of my bigger homegirls were saying to me, like this, just always be wondering how I get niggas.

Speaker 2

Yeah, is like and it's always a certain type of bitch, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3

I don't know if I'm from the South, so no one ever was really like really like I'm not even trying to like I know that may sound ridiculous to some, but no one really around me growing up.

Speaker 2

Everybody was kind of that.

Speaker 1

I was always the one that was kind of like made fun of because I ain't had no ass when you from down South. I've been seeing girls that would stick my whole life with whether it be quote unquote fit niggas whatever, Like I've seen that in New York. I know the body type is different, but like you mentioned too, going back down to Georgia, like seeing ass, seeing real bodies like that shit is a real thing.

Speaker 3

Now, what I will say is outside of the sex club, I think the euro nude beaches is great if it's not sexually related. And the nude beaches are for families and shit in Europe. But go to a women's only spot it's nude, that ship.

Speaker 1

Will like even like the bath the bath house bath houses. Yeah, so you could get new that's a good You're right, look at me.

Speaker 3

Making accessibility in the UK less than you think, Like it's super cold, there's not going to be a beach can go to that's requiring a lot of travel, super basic. I just went to one in La called Wi Spa Wi, and I been hearing about it because it's twenty four hours, so I'm thinking it's gonna be this couple's night. Yeah, not at all, completely separate.

Speaker 2

At one point it was so nude, you were like, they gotta be fucking here. No, I it was just all ages nude.

Speaker 3

So I was seeing really old grannies surely young, not really young, but like really old. And it just made me think to myself because you know, at first, when you go anywhere nude, we can all attest to this, even hedonism. The first segment is you look in a lot and then it becomes normal mm hm. In this spot, I was just like, oh shit, oh my god, am my tit's gonna fall down like that. And then after an hour, I'm just like, why am I even doing this?

Like I'm thirty four years old? Now I'm young, and I well like who knows and the comfortability and the way that like you just start to become one. And also you will realize how much more beautiful your body is being amongst other people because there isn't, like you said,

this perfection. But I think the women's spas are a little bit better because if you're attracted to men, a sex club or a nude beach may put you in an alarming situation because now men can look at you, women definitely make you feel safer.

Speaker 2

I think just we all know that how that feels.

Speaker 3

But number one, your confidence has got to go up, because that's why you're feeling like this on dates or maybe not. That could attribute to why not having luck because men love having confidence, right and like confident women. Now I would say the first thing to just jump starting that it's like my breakup call of action for any bitch.

Speaker 2

I know, okay, bit, we need the new fits. Bitch.

Speaker 3

If I got a new gym fit, I'm gonna get up and through the gym. We need to do hair and a new fits. Now you live in You got grades in this and I live in them. I'm telling you the new fits. Dressing for your body type. For example, if you don't like your belly, but we don't see your belly, fine, whatever, you have a crop tap on this picture if you're mentioning a belly while you putting that all, so something's off here?

Speaker 1

Right?

Speaker 2

The pants were hot? No?

Speaker 1

No, no, I'm saying leg well yeah, start if you see I don't think her outfit didn't fit her body. But because the pants were hot, but point one period, that doesn't matter because we could still see it if it's pants, right, Start dressing for whatever you think your body is missing, and then you'll feel more confident.

Speaker 3

For example, sometimes I don't love my legs. If I wear mini things like to my knee, I feel like I look shorter. So now I actually got to wear a little bit shorter skirts. I like seeing my shoulders. I think they're the best attribute. You need to figure out what your favorite things about your body are and start act senting them. I was having dinner this week, we're filming this during your New York Fashion.

Speaker 2

Week with a homegirl mind who's a stylist, and she was like.

Speaker 3

Bitch, here's what I get paid for pulls number one from designers. Two because people know I'm lit and they like my clothes, and three because I actually know how to dress someone's body period. He's like, I dressed women that are six feet and above and like they've hated their bodies their whole life. They're famous, they're doing XYZ, they might be playing a sport, but they hate their bodies.

Speaker 2

Right, I know how to dress them and make them feel comfortable. And the more I'm hearing.

Speaker 3

About how we all kind of don't know because I really don't know the perfect fit for me.

Speaker 1

That is the goal we all need in our thirties. What the fuck is the best outfit on me? And you know why we all need that. Let's just say you have a random date or something to go to. Are we going to keep picking the same shit that.

Speaker 3

We always wear that makes us feel comfortable, or actually start buying things that are the right fit, like real shit. That's got to be number one on the list, go in the closet, pick the top three, and then recreate.

Speaker 2

Those men skirt hate to see me coming. I was gonna say, it's yours. The skirt and skirt, a.

Speaker 4

Skirt, a tennis skirt, address cleavage. My problem area for me is the belly area. So guess what I'm gonna do everything to bring your eyes up or bring your eyes below it. So I'm in the short skirts or my cleavage is gonna be out. And I have I don't have the biggest chest, but guess what Victoria's Secrets has those bras.

Speaker 2

Do the two sizes up. I call it my marketing.

Speaker 4

I'm like, this is just marketing and packaging, which you see here is all marketing and packaging. But I accentuate the things that I like, love about myself, and those are the things that give me confidence. So when I go out, hey, you know, yes, you're gonna.

Speaker 2

Get legs, you you're gonna get get cleavage, and buy it twice. Every color, Hello, every color, it's yours.

Speaker 1

Leather, anything anything leather. I know. I stay away from like blazers and things that make me look bulky because I feel like my breasts are big and not that I have big shoulders, but anything that's gonna make me look wider, I don't, especially after losing weight. And I like I like a loose bottom and a tight top. I'm big on I'm big on the bottom, but I'm small up tops, so I like. I like that.

Speaker 2

And then long dresses. My legs are short, so me and a mini dress or mini skirt. I don't really do that too often.

Speaker 1

Like I like, you know, long things because I'm sure so I'm not a fan of my legs, so I like you now.

Speaker 2

Kill you will slay those bikini pictures though, that's actually my best out. I will do with Batman bikini.

Speaker 3

But see air because some things can make your legs look shorter. But can't you actually get to see can't you get to see the hips?

Speaker 2

The hers? I like the little girl, like the little thunk that.

Speaker 1

Sunset photoshop, And I could wear a bikini every day and it not be a problem. That is exactly what the fuck I would wear every single day. Like, I love bikinis. If you follow me on Instagram, you're gonna see me. Then I'm looking the thing now with Actually, okay, this one is interesting.

Speaker 2

My thing.

Speaker 1

I feel sexiest in is oversized clothes, and recently I started wearing tighter shit, and my nigga's like, you look great in this. I don't know why you don't wear tighter clothes more often. He's like, but when you have on your overside clothes, you walk different, you talk different.

Speaker 2

Like that's just something you must feel in your head. It makes you sexier.

Speaker 1

He's like, so it actually does come across sexier. I think my favorite things to wear are.

Speaker 3

Definitely baggy pants because I don't feel like if I wear tight pants, they'd be like, damn, her booty kind of small.

Speaker 2

So I like baggy because I think that my hips are nice.

Speaker 1

Like it's weird the things that we're uncomfortable with, and I believe I have a nice body naked.

Speaker 4

Sometimes in clothes, I feel like it doesn't translate yes, so I don't have an ass. And I think that's why I love skirts, because I get to my big booty friends can't wear the skirt the same way that I do. It's exactly so I feel like when I wear oversized clothes, I feel like I look dumpy. I'm just starting to like, yes, yeah, I'm just starting to

like kind of get back into oversized. So, like, my career is in fashion, so I'm around clothes and style all day long, and so it having an eye and seeing what you see things, I'm like, oh, that looks so dope. I want to try that, but it's not for my body. So now how do I recreate this look for my body? And it could just be maybe I don't do bottom and top oversize. Maybe I just do an oversized top, which you yeah, if you hide up pregnant, Carti says she wasn't hiding.

Speaker 2

Anyways.

Speaker 1

Basically, overall advice is maybe lean into a dating coach, lean into finding confidence in your body by going somewhere to see other bodies and just get the confidence as well to be able to communicate your once needs and desires from the men that you're dating, and don't allow them to leave.

Speaker 2

That's our advice to you. We hope you help. We hope we helped you.

Speaker 1

If you need any other advice for the people listening, please please please email us Decisions Pod at gmail dot com. We will read your letter here. Also, if you are a patron, you guys get first DIBs, so make sure you go ahead and send us a private message over on Patreon with your letters so we can read it here on You Got Decisions And if you want to watch the full video, join us on Patreon as Patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions.

Speaker 2

See you guys next week. Bye,

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