All right, let's get into our kick of the week, y'all. We are going to do the A, B C's of Mother Earth. I looked up these kink slash fetishes that I'm like, Damn, I don't know if we've ever talked about it, because what the fuck? So the first one, and I want you all to guess what y'all think, It is based on Latin roots and shit. So actorasty fetish. What do you think that means? Actorasty? And I don't know if I'm saying it right, that's how it spelled.
Act I are a s t y actorasty fetish? All right, y'all, host don't know, yea. So it is the sexual fetish known when someone is aroused by the rays of the sun. Therefore, someone with this fetish would love being intimate outdoors or under a large window on a sunny afternoon.
What is the sun connected to acting? I don't know.
I just thought y'all might know lat and roots. I don't know this next one though, mind you, the other egg the other a one was way too easy.
Y'all would have got it. Aquaphilia, okay, fucking in the water awa, you know? All right?
So this next one bronzophilia. And this has nothing to do with lebron jay damn.
Tough bronzophilia.
This actually I think I'm a bronxophiliac. I don't know if that's the word, but this is me. So Bronsophilia is the fetish when someone gets extremely aroused by thunderstorms.
What the fun?
Yes, Oh, I ain't gonna hold you, okay, but the way I'm the way I rub my plussy when it's raining, I'd be like, oh my god, time to like go play with myself.
When I hear that goddamn rain and thunder, my whole body shuts down and I just get horny. Why because your body knows there's nothing else you can do right now?
Do you know what I just said? So I went to Mexico to get this gentle shit done. Long story short, one of the days it was crazy thunder. So my nigga wakes up and he's like, damn that sucks. And I was like, bro, we're on vacation to do nothing and now actually in the best place. So we come outside and it's all inclusive award and you could tell they stress and they'll know what activities to do for people. They were like, Saunty, you know you guys haveing a
good day. I'm like, you're having a nigga. I had that sex blaze on my face, you know when the little dried up coming looked a little white. It looked like I had some eggs of a flakes, just seemen. I love when it rings.
Give it to me, all right, and now first seek, Let's see if y'all can get this.
This one was strange.
Chasmophilia by the way, something too. It's all about mother Earth. Chasmophilia by the way. I love that there's kinks that we still don't know that I saw and I was like, what the fuck? I don't think we ever talked about it.
Close? What did you say? No, wey was closer.
I'm thinking of something like feeling the ground, like grounding close.
Childphilia is an unusual and interesting fetish. What it means is that one is aroused by crevices, caverns, and valleys. Oh wow, okay, literally maybe a bitch one, which, to be fair, I did fucking a cave in in in Jamaica. Now I don't I haven't been to Green Canyon yet, so I don't know if my mind would be turned on by wanting to fuck in the can were other people in the like how big is the cave like the cake's The cave is like the sides of this room that we're in, and there was a waterfall like
blocking it. So it's a really dark cave, the waterfalls coming down and we have we no, no bad. We were the only ones in it. It's like a man made one. It was at the Nude Pole.
Oh, it was like a fake cave, clean cave.
But it was given cave no because like you know what, you go on vacation, you start walking with the bull shoes.
Yeah, no, no, no, no, I'm giving that care.
It was given a cave in a pool, a belt cave, all right. So for the Hoda, this is one I found online and I was like, never thought of it this way. This is called tactile exploration. So this is when and this is a real vanilla tip by the way, for y'all. So when I read it, I was like, oh, I never thought about that, but yes, this is great because I feel it when I'm in other people's bed. So tactile exploration is the introduction of very textures in
the bedroom where you would have sex. So you could either do this through bedding, you could do it through clothing or even accessories.
So for example, silk sheets.
I ain't gonna hold you gives a way different thing, a way different feeling when you're having sex on your body, like silk sheets. I had a nigga with silk sheets, and I was like, this nigga is a whore because it felt like I just knew. I said, oh, you have to be a slut. First off, what nigga has silk sheets? But also it made me feel like, why the fuck don't I have.
Silk sheet because silk sheets ate.
On your body like you slide a little bit more and you don't feel like mind you, it just doesn't feel as rough.
But also it's cold.
I'm like wondering right now if those silk shit sheet things was recent, right, somebody listening.
To this like hold on.
Bruh silk sheets. I was like, oh, I.
I've actually thought men were horries for having silk pillercases, because that's no.
Do you well unless he got dreads or hair, than it is for him if he got braids or dreads. I'm not even thinking it's for a bitch, I'm thinking this nigga cares about his locks?
Say they do?
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Okay, that wasn't bad?
People low, I know, and y'all like when I say puts the house, so I know, let's just combine the tool post season the holes, we're going to combine the two.
Do you know?
Ask me if you were saying recently pussy hole, they must be for Middle America. She's definitely a wife, yeah, And she was like, it's so crazy because I've never heard pussy hole. And I'm like, why would I call someone up now? Maybe because there is a there is an asshole. No, and I think they do say that now that you said it. They definitely said that in Jamaica. Mm hmm. Now she was sucking a Jamaican nigga because where she got at.
But no, it's puss pussy asshole.
Oh but maybe do that too because I say pussy asshole, So maybe it was a pussy asshole.
Well okay, maybe not weeped out too.
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You know, I just wondered looking at you, how could whenever did your eyebrows platinum on?
I have I've done it with makeup, but I haven't done it like permanently. I definitely want to, But girl, I just be like, do I really want to go.
That route right now? Why not? You already was a skunk?
I did it, I did it with first off, don't do it like you was already gone. That's crazy, You're like, mom, I want to go that radical?
Yeah? Do I want to be that edgy?
Like I already stand out when I'm out, Like, I think that would like just bring too much attention to me. And I'm already pines bit, bitch, I'm already fun as fucks, so you know I'd be like, let me not give it all to them, And then I'm not into.
Like radical artsy niggas. Y'all know. I like niggas with like.
PhDs and like nerds and lames, and I'm already a lot for them, So like, bitch, I gotta I don't want an artsy nigga.
I want my little spartan. Yes, okay, yes, uh.
Anyways, let's get into this one. Did cheating in high school ruin my relationship? Let's get into it. Hey, y'all, I'm a twenty six year old woman in an on and off again relationship with my high school sweetheart.
In high school, I cheated.
It deeply hurt him, and I fully owned that I was immature and selfish. Not long after reconnecting, I got pregnant the initial He didn't want me to keep the baby, but said he'd support me if I did. Oh, and he's been an amazing active dad ever since. Okay, we've broken up and gotten back together several times over the years. About three years ago, he brought up entering the lifestyle. He gets turned on by cheating scenarios and asks me to sleep with his friend or talk about being with
other men while we're together. M I agreed because I thought it would strengthen us.
Here's where I'm confused.
That was not wrotten my last He rarely makes romantic effort, no flowers, no real intentional work in our relationship. When I bring up feeling unloved, he says he tried for years and I still cheated in high school, so why should he now. Sometimes I feel like he resents me. Sometimes I even wonder if he resents women in general. But then he's sex is the very thing that broke us up my cheating and uses.
The swinger dynamic against me.
Later, what starts is consensual ends up feeling humiliating. I can't tell if this is unresolved pain showing up sexually, or if he's punishing me while keeping me around so he doesn't have to be the one who leaves. Am I trying to fix something that's already dead? Or is there a healthy way to rebuild trust after this long? Thanks for any advice.
I love y'all. This is a this is a second one.
I okay, okay, right, I'm not gonna hold you.
For the cheating. They're twenty six.
Oh, okay, twenty six, that's right, So I mean it's you better than not bring up nothing I did in high school.
You better not bring up Shitugh.
Tricky because not only do they share kids together their high school sweethearts, they've been together for however long, and now at twenty six, the fact that they're also now introducing lifestyle before there's been a level of forgiveness with the cheating. The cheating, right, I don't think anybody should enter lifestyle with a hangup of betrayal or dishonesty or lack of trust.
Even when y'all were in a monogamous.
Sense, because the fact that he keeps throwing it in your face, he's not over it, and it's crazy that you brought up that you feel humiliated. I wonder if he's not into lifestyle at all, but he's into humiliating you and making you feel like shit the way that you did to him years ago, like the kink here may not be the swinging it mad like the payback.
It might just in his mind, humiliating you.
After you show up to be who you were when y'all were in high school may be what's getting him off because he's not over it. So maybe he's trying to find a way to get over it and it's not working for him him.
I don't think that he's trying to find a way to get over it. I mean, maybe he is enjoying it during the sex talk. But as far as you may not think you're diving into non monogamy territory, but I just want to say you absolutely are. And what Mandy's saying about like there has to be a place of forgiveness. Just for context, in my open relationship, nigga, if one of us is having a bad day, the relationship is close. If this niggas having a bad day.
I'm not just gonna say, well, hey, I'm gonna go out tonight and meet yeah.
Won. So that's not how it works.
We literally shut it down at any inkling of not feeling one hundred percent. So knowing there's previous and passion, but y'all somehow sexualize it. I think, like, maybe you're just enjoying pleasing and being kinky and it can be fun, but oof, you've.
Got to resolve that.
Yeah, the question she asks to is there a healthy way to resolve this or is the relationship dead already? I think for me, that's not an actual answer that you can answer. If he's still, you know, bringing up what you did years ago and using it against you.
You can't control how he feels. You can't control when he forgives you. You can't control his healing journey.
So it has to be is he willing to let it go to form a more healthier bond with you?
And if he's not, there's literally nothing you can do. Bro.
Like, that's the thing that's interesting, Like, yes, it takes to to tango, but when it comes to someone genuinely feeling betrayed or like they can't trust you. It has to be their journey and their desire to overcome that. In order to make the relationship healthy, you could do everything right. You could never cheat on that man again. You could give him every fantasy he wants. You could cook him dinner every night. You could rub his feet
when he get off work. If he's not doing the work to forgive you, the relationship is dead.
And also, here's the other thing too. I'm saying like, oh my god, this is fucking high school. Get over it.
But at the same time, I know that we can't rush to anybody's process on how things make them feel. Like I have a friend of mine that's been married for I think they just hit their fifteen year anniversary whatever they're a black couple, and whatever he did, he cheated years ago. I had no idea this Spanish literally, the language is their trigger. Here's why, bitch not. They can't ever go to the bronx together. Oh bitch, we
were all talking about the bad Bunny thing. I facetimed her after the bad Bunny joined and we laughed about it, and I was like, bitch, da da da, So she was like, I'll call you later. So I was like, Okay, whych she acting funny? It's me later and she's like, girl, I.
Almost say his name.
So and so cheated on me for like a year because he spoke Spanish to this bitch and I thought he was gonna work calls and I had no idea what they were.
Saying the whole time.
So anything that's about Spanish or translated or whatever, like I'll be getting in my feelings.
Bitch.
She was like, so you was making a joke like we needed said titles. And she was like, bitch, that was the fucking joke of my damn marriage.
Oh I ain't gonna hold you. Can you imagine?
No Fir's You know, I don't really date niggas with accents. But now, in the most ignorant, probably right leaning, fucking opinion, I can ever say, bitch, if we go together and you speak another language, not at my house, none under my roof, bitch, you better speak in glate.
Bitch.
I was fucking would a lot be a nigga? And every time he got on the phone and it felt a little too tricky.
I'd be like this will google.
Yeah, I hold to know that this man was having phone calls in another language with another bitch around you is oh my god, no bitch that.
She didn't know it was another bitch, And so she's like, yo.
No, But that's what I'm saying to know where hindsight, everybody has their little fucking tick.
I actually I don't have a tick in my relationship.
And we recently had this conversation because I cussed out a guy like a business dealing, right, Okay, I cursed this dude out and he was like, Yo, you ain't never talk to me like that.
And I was like, I know.
We never got a crazy blow up fight, and he was like, I pray to god we never do.
He's like, but.
If we did, it would be something that would probably last forever, Like we would probably always talk about that one incident. And we don't have at the moment in our relationship the rock of that thing from the past that we always bring up. And he's like, I hope it doesn't happens, but a lot of people do have that. And I say all that to say, in your particular case, I think it's this thing from.
High school, and you know it's gotta go.
And not only does it have to go, I just I just had another another thought with this right super interesting and I know you're probably enjoying yourself with the lifestyle aspect of this relationship because it's fun. But I also wonder if him seeing you be able to fuck these other men, whether it be a friend or whoever owns, I wonder if that's also making him more hesitant to believe that you would.
Ever be just his.
You know what I mean, Like he may also like you to an extent or love you to an extent to where maybe he's even opening or bringing up this lifestyle element in these fantasies because he feels like that's what you need, because he's genuinely maybe also not secure enough and feeling like he is enough for you because chet On, which is even a deeper laird that I was like, damn, maybe this is for you, and he humiliates you after because there's the insecurity in himself that
doesn't feel like enough.
Like that's why I make me feel so sad.
Like but I'm I mean, and I brought that up because a lot of times, right people assume that women have the threesomes with other women because they figure their man is gonna cheat anyway.
Let me just do this I might not be what he wants.
Let me just and so what if it's in reverse the other way and he's not over not being enough for you. The fact that you said he removes the romanticism from the relationship, and he brings up that he gave you all the romance and you cheated on him. That's why he don't do it no more.
You know what I mean?
I probably really nigga who fuck you cheated with? Because now I don't want to see the nigga.
You always want to see what somebody looked like. That don't ever even matter.
Okay, wait, hold on, you do because when you're high school, what the what the motherfucker looked like at high school don't matter.
Then he might have been a young job and you know what, that nigga might have been fine shit if you were cheating with a captain and the team. Like my homegirl recently said, she found out and let it go.
By the way, this is a mini listening to me, judge.
So she found out her nigga was fucking somebody else and saw what the girl looked like and decided not to bring it up because she went through his phone and she was like, I gotta save like this, like the going through the phone for like a bigger thing. She was like, but I saw what the girl looked like, and she was so whacked that I know he was just horny that night.
And I was like, damn, okay.
But she's like, I'm like, so, what would you have done in the bitch look better than you? Like she I would have lost it. She was like, but I was just less jealous because I really.
Know, I said, with the fact that I felt the way that my ex cheated on with some bum bitches.
No, I okay, I think there's two factors here being cheated on. If you cheat on me with a bitch that looks like Beyonce, it's gonna bruise my ego obviously, right, like it's going to hurt a little bit.
But also like, I get why you had to fuck the bitch.
If you cheat on me, what a bitch that looks like Rachel Dole is all I'm gonna be like, So that bitch thinks she's down here fucking easy his nigga, Oh absolutely not.
I mean I mean cheating sex both ways. I did want to give a bit of advice for you, which is worse.
Cheating is bad all around. I don't care.
Hold on, beach, hold on, I'm not gonna hold you if. If he's so bad, I wouldn't.
I'm the opposite.
I would feel a way that you cheated down like you cheated on me with that bitch, with this couch surfing as homeless as bum ass.
Like I would, right, I don't care.
I would rather cheat it on with a Beyonce or Rihanna or Samahayak than a motherfucking bum ass couch surfing ass, bum ass bitch.
Y'all.
I just want to tell you this homeless woman and Mandy talks about her ex cheating on her for years.
She was like, yeah, and you followed the bitch, And I was like, yeah, hol on, let me tell y'all how that. Let me tell y'all how this podcast actually be ruining lives and how.
Some of you bitches are super weird.
So not only did this bitch fucked my ex knowing ni he was my ex, because she the one that let me know that nigga was in there when I went to Jamaica. I found out later because Weezy didn't know who the bitch was, that she was kind of trying to fucking fuck Weezy and her nigga.
You said she was im I did it was I did? I meant nobody. She knew, she knew that you were my colles, she knew that she fucked on my ex. And now she was trying to fuck on y'all because you are when I tell you it was not d oh no, No, you're talking about somebody else, don't we not? The Vision wanted you to come to her little dancing class. Oh my god, Mandy, I don't give a fault. I'm gonna tell you the other girl.
Oh well yeah, any who I care that you cheat down.
I'd rather my nigga cheat up. Fuck out of you.
Now. The last thing I want to say is the last the last thing, Well, this is the advice for the.
Listener, bitch. We'd be giving up. We've been giving away all.
Of our business, but I want to give advice to to the to the listener person. So you said that you ventured this lifestyle with this man, but you no longer feel romanticized.
He doesn't do anything nice to you for you. He doesn't court you.
There's no flowers, there's no and he almost is punishing you because of what you did in high school.
I would say this, whether the sex is.
Good or not, if you guys are in a relationship or in some level of co parenting or a situationship, whatever it is, there's absolutely no way that you should keep bringing other people into the relationship without you getting that bare minimum of feeling validated or loved by him.
And if he's not going to do.
The small things like make you feel loved even if you don't love your ass, you shouldn't be out here giving him all of these fantasies and doing all of those things. They're not already having a baby shit and did so honestly. Then if he's not getting over it and he's not doing the work too, the relationship is dead, sis and you should move on and stop sucking your baby daddy.
Wow, that's what we're gonna go with every time. Stop sucking your bay daddy. Stop sucking your baby dady. But it sounds like it's not and down bitch. And thank you so much everyone for listening to another episode of this podcast. Whether you're on a couch, have a home, or don't, We're so grateful you listen. Thank you so much, and again, make sure you send your letters to decisions pod at gmail dot com, and to see the full video, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon dot com.
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