You've Got Decisions: Can I Go From FWB to Relationship?

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You've got decisions?

Back at it again, You've got decisions on a Wednesday.

This girl, her letter wasn't really that much tea, but I felt like we could bring in a few topics of like what the fuck to do? Because we have so many letters like this of someone giving us a gist of like here's what's happening, here's a person I'm.

Dating, and what do I do? It's like bitch a lot that nigga. Goddamn, I don't know if you want to send in any of your qualms. Qualms right with Dayton with give us fresships with all your issues, all of that thing, and you need advice from two unofficial experts on all of the things. Whose podcast was that? Wasn't that? We're easy, as said, We're gonna have them on the pod. I'm setting that up, baby. They now

Look at us?

Are you reading the letter this week? Let's get to it okay, don't read really fast. Come on, I know you don't really be you know, it's a lot. I'm gonna just take it old school. You read and be kind of a little and the braces make it worse, I know. So we gonna see how this goes. Damn my prest see if you actually keep reading them or not. Hey Weezy, Hey Mandy, it's me Key from Clee. I'll be on the towel halls and I've Metro at the

I would stop.

At anything and come to him, or he'd come to me, and we would eat, smoke and fuck like clockwork. So back in August we had just got done fucking and he says, why you never thought to get a boyfriend? And I'm like, huh, because that I was so random to ask, and I'm like, well, I don't know, shit, just never felt like that since my ex and I have been so cool. I've been since my X and I I've been cool. So he's like, if I asked you on a date, would you go? So I say, yeah,

Okay. We've been moving and doing a little bit more than having sex and since then in more of a public eye. So my birthday's last month and he took me to a caves game damn near on the floor. We had an amazing time and even got caught kissing on the kissing camera. Oh that's cute. That is cute. So here's my dilemma.

Would I be overstepping if I asked him why the change of heart so suddenly and asked him to be my man chrissy? Or should I just go with the flow and let him continue to date me instead of fuck me? Or is he simply just trying to hang out and set a fuck I don't know.

Ooh ooh, okay, So I do like this one because a lot of times we get into casual fuck buddy relationships not expecting or wanting anything out of it, and it could be for you getting over a previous relationship.

It could just be your mental health.

It could be you're just not in a place where you want the responsibility of a relationship. For this though, and I think I want to say this to any woman listening to this in twenties twenty five, stop putting the ball in the man's court. So for this, she's like, should I just go with the flow? Should I ask him to be our man? Court?

Well, no, no, no.

The fact that she's saying no, no, going with the flow is absolutely putting in She said, should I ask him? Well, that's where I'm That's what I wanted to respond to. So the should I ask him to be my man? If you want him to be your man, those conversations need to be happening right now. You are going with the flow, You're going from the bedroom to now being out in public, and you seem to really be enjoying him.

I don't think it's a you ask a man to be your man.

I think it's having an adult fucking conversation and saying, Yo, how do you feel about me?

Where this is a new change of pace? What are we doing?

Would you like something? What does a relationship with you look like? I think it's so communicating. Can I ask if? Can I ask him like why the change of heart?

I don't like that question. I hate that question. You just said, though, No, no, no, no, what do you want?

I'm talking about relationship wise, like what do you want in a relationship? Because if she clearly thinking I'm going to ask him to be my man, she wants a relationship probably with this person, right, so that other question of why the change of pace? No, I think you need to immediately go into Hey, I like what this feels like. Are you open to a relationship right now? What does a relationship look like for you? Would you like me to be your girlfriend? That's asking it hard

I think I hate that question.

I think it is so direct in asking someone what about what you're looking for changed? Because I think that's a different question. No, like she said, can I ask him why a sudden change of heart. I've definitely asked that and it's worked in my favor.

Let me ask you a question. Do you think there is a change of heart? She said, they've been fucked buddies since June of twenty twenty. It is yes, yes, you be reading and don't know what you be reading. They've been fucking since June of twenty twenty. So, Bro, five years of fucking a guy, him wanting to just go out with you may not be anything for real, for real, Okay, so I'm gonna be real, Bro, you've been fucking for five years, not saying that he's not interested.

However, now that brings out at different point.

I felt like this the whole time, and now that I know June twenty twenty, it solidifies it. I think that our fuck buddies from a cash standpoint, become a place of trust after a while, and so when there's someone that you need a little bit more intimacy or fun times with, it could fluctuate based on my rosters

So he comes over and she tries to pitch the date.

She's like, oh, I mean dinner's at a suit you know, reservations at a sushi restaurant. He looks at her pussy he goes, oh yeah. She's like no, like it's real, And Samantha's like, why would you do that?

And like, don't date him, he's just for sex.

Oh, And it ended up going poorly, of course.

I really do think when you have a safe space for sex, don't ruin it.

I wait, really, I'm shocked you said.

So if you have a safe space for sex, which takes so many people so long to get to.

Whether they're together or not.

Bro, you're saying not to ruin that by potentially making this person a partner. What you're saying, how is it shocking? Bitch?

Are you serious?

Mandy? Whenever I stopped dating somebody, I got it there to hit up old hose.

Okay, but that's because you're horny.

Hold on, but what I started doing me Take it from me, sister. I lovey dovey bitch always end up wanting to kind of be boyfriend girl to these niggas, right, I start doing too much with the fuck buddies and then I lose them.

I love that you just admitted that.

Everybody knows that, and.

So the problem is I should have just left them niggas to be dick. Now that you're interested, all it means to me is you don't have enough hosey.

Y'all will say, though.

This does see mutual. He took her to a Calvs game. She took him out to celebrate for his new job promotion. This does see mutual. However, like you said, it could just be maybe the bitch he was dating, maybe they fell out and he just wants somebody to go out with. It doesn't necessarily mean he wants to be with you, just because y'all are now going.

Out someone to eat smoking fuck when you're single, Like seriously, like that is a gift, bitch.

Oh, I'm not gonna lie that was an issue like with my last relationship, because you want to keep breaking up with me, nigga. I got niggas that I actually enjoy being around that I would never be with that. I can call, and I think all women have that. All women have that person unless you're a me and you fucking start dating niggas or it's gonna be a you bitch. Oh yeah, no, Now if you really are interested in me, well, she said, and she looked at him as a twenty four cents it's too far, it's

I don't think, Amandy. I don't think it's a bad question to say, why the change of heart? They've been fucking for years and it's like, all right, well why are we going on dates?

Now? What do you look?

So then you know what.

My advice for you then will be to be ready to accept. He just wanted to go to a cash game. He just wanted to go out. And it means nothing if if one of your questions was should I just ask him doing my man? I do want you to prepare yourself for the possible rejection that he's actually not looking for anything with you, that he just has found someone that he enjoys being around, he enjoys fucking and

The reason I like that question is it because it doesn't expose her as I'm into him. It's just like, why are you changing this up?

My problem is though we know that she's clearly into him.

Now we know that. That's why, girl, you have to prepare yourself for his answer to be Oh, I ain't looking enough, boy said to me once, and I was like, oh, I wish women knew this. He had a fuck buddy.

And he's like, damn, I hate this shit is switching up with her. And I was like, well, how do you know what is going on? He's like, I could tell from the way that she texts me this shit is switching up.

Oh, because she's starting to like him.

He's like, she wants to include me in random irritations at work. She's fucking telling me about shit that don't matter that I don't like some boyfriend shit. He's like, it's changing, he said.

Every time a girl does this, I know they really fucking with a nigga. And I was like wow, because generally speaking, if we're fucking somebody, we just start doing that right right. But he's like, I know the second a girl's on me, he's like also coordinated too. He's like, when I call them, if they don't pick up, He's like, a girl, that's all my dick, it's gonna tell me why she can't answer, he said.

Any other girl is just gonna be like.

Oh yeah, I'm gonna look at the phone. Oh yeah.

He said that bit would call me back later, he said, or with no answer. He said, when a girl's really into me, she for some reason feels the need to tell me why she didn't answer.

But that's what I'm saying.

That's the responsibility of a relationship, yup, and it wants you to have and he may not want that.

Now.

Some other questions to pose from this that I wanted to talk about. So when I was.

Listening to this or reading, excuse me, I wanted to ask you, do you look at grand gestures as a sign of heavy interest, because to me, when she goes we were damn near on the floor, that is a grand gesture.

Not if he has money agree. Like, So if he spent a lot of money and doesn't be doesn't seem to be in that tax bracket, then yeah, that's a big gesture. If he has the money and that's how he enjoys the game, I don't view it as a big gesture.

M you know what I mean?

Or maybe his company gave him those tickets. I'll be like this when the last time you went to the game.

You know what I mean? I don't. I don't know if I view big gestures. That's the thing.

Big gestures are subjective again to tax brackets and what they do. On the norm. Thoughtful gestures will make me think and is interested. So to me, the gesture of buying tickets are coming to one of our live shows.

That support. Support means a lot.

If you're interested, you want to support what I'm doing in life. I do think birthdays and holidays those are thoughtful gestures because those are times where.

It means them.

Okay, so he was being but grand gestures.

That's subjective.

Okay, that's a really good answer.

Now, what are ways in the beginning of a fuck buddy that you can express express intentions?

Because I want to just tell you easy tell them to leave.

After no, no, no, I.

Was going to say, like dating intentions, right, oh so our wee buddy that would acquire just like hers, why you ain't got a boyfriend?

Da da.

He would just start wanting to know more about my life period and your life or who you think. So when he started to ask those questions, it really confused me. And this is where I would say, we got to go back to the beginning of the fuck buddy relationship. So this is for people that are just starting out a fuck buddy relationship.

Okay, to me, this is when fuck parties happen.

You go on the first date, there's a vibe, so you see each other again the second day.

Yeah, my fuck buddies kind of don't start with dates. They start with dick.

You meet someone, I'm saying, whatever, okay, the second date, it's kind of just like, all right, well, it's nothing really that deep, but you're good enough.

You're good looking enough for us to fuck. We have a sexual chemistry.

To me, the fuck buddy relationship starts when by the next time you have sex there was nothing pre planned.

It's just sex. I'm talking about you go over his career. The NIGG don't even cook like it is just just sex.

Y'all have both now confirmed this is going to be a sexual relationship.

I don't think you could pivot back.

I think when you are looking to date somebody, that shit has to be before the sex premeditated.

It can't just be a pull up. You're fucked after that, because now you set the tone, and I don't think you're fuck buddy. Asking you who else you're talking to or dating or why you're single even means they're interested either.

A lot of men are insecure.

A lot of men also want to keep in their mind, Oh, this is just a fuck buddy, I know she fucking other people. She oh like. Men also just want to make sure they keep you in that fuck buddy lane as well. They want to know that you're seeing other niggas so they know that, oh, I ain't got to do nothing because she got someone else's going to.

Niggas just want to be the only one period. That doesn't even mean they like you, No, it doesn't. They are so fit.

Bro.

My nigga says something that that bothered me so much one time, and I know he was laughing about it because he's.

Like, who cares and I'm like, no, nigga, because you like this a little bit. So, oh, I'm not gonna lie, I told I told Doc. If you guys are not on Patreon, there's some new introduction names. So me and

He just said. They just said. He just said, they made him tuck his chain in at the hospital.

So with blue eyes, he's black. Don't do that. I guess he's fucking black, you ass I know he does look kind of Dominican. No, he looks like that nigga that she was talking to him. Family. I hate man with better hair than me, such gorgeous hair, which happens every time.

Listen, I'm ball heads. So all the niggas got better head than I.

Do?

You have more?

You like a little Chico?

He not Chico. Don't do that.

He is not Chico. You love Chico? Ho exactly, don't do that? We black home.

No, So, no, he looks like I think I could see the doctor. But but you did just show me that PHOTOSO.

Yeah, showed you his goddamn graduation.

But so I was gonna say, uh, I'm actually gonna save my little tea for another time with me and my nigga. But as far as being the only one, it's very interesting how men like to put that, oh, let me know, let me know, because I'll take.

Not even a let me know if you fucked the first time, because of the interest and how we text after he actually said that, the way we've been texting lets me know that that wasn't gonna be a one nice Fand so he came to me, he was like, so, what are you looking.

For, because clearly let me know if you have sex with someone else.

Oh how I feel about that?

Okay, in the reverse world, I feel like if a woman said that to a man she just slept with a week ago, it's like, tell you when.

I'm hoving sex with someone else. What.

However, there's something about when men do it that feels like,

Someone, but yeah, let me know. Did you tell to let you know?

So that's something that I don't care about.

But I do even have like my other boom uh, and he like likes to know when I do anything with anybody. I don't know what I'm not gonna say, don't even birthday, yes, my birthday president or I think it is maybe a king for him.

And a lot of my guys are that way.

So to me. Even the fact that before we even fucked, I let him know I have condoms and test results for him, I think I just met someone who's open with talking about what our sex fives look like outside of each other. He doesn't want to know what you both. I don't mind that talking about it's because of my results. I don't know already told him I have feelings for two other men that I'm dating right now.

Well, you just met him and I did so, and I let him know. But I also really like you.

So he's got to put some work.

So we just got to see, it's hunger games for me right now. All of these niggas could.

Be my man, but none of them are are.

In a very like one of my home girls text us. She's like, I'm in my dark fan era. She's like, last week I was upset over a nigga, and she's like this week, one ex coming back talking about he loved me, another one saying what do you want for your birthday? Another one saying, oh it's cold, we should go take a trip. She's like, what the fuck just happened? I'm telling you what is it about? Someone tell me the science? Ask science, babe? Why is it when you

Why is there drought? Well? Now active bab being around for a while, we're just now getting a little bit more.

That kiss needs to happen immediately. Well he'll be in Vegas ves Oh my god, I don't know if I'm ready for that shot.

Why not? I don't know. Another couple.

My girl who's doing my makeup, Mia, so fuse put them up at the fountain Blue. I was like, bring your niggas, so might be saying no, that'll be cute. We'll all be in the same hotel. No, I'm not saying at the mountain, oh you're not okay, But I think it's great to like, uh, I like to do double dates, and I'll tell you why, not saying we have to do it. But this is really for anyone will do a double date episode. I love seeing how a man acts around the friends. And also something I've

I ain't been on a double day ger Okay.

A lot of double dates the couple start to get competitive and they be like, oh, he is this, or he does this, or it gets into this teasing thing where like oh, you know she'd be doing this ha, and it kind of like they put you down in front of other people.

I've seen so many different double date ways.

That doesn't sound like fun to me, but it's.

Very interesting and telling to see how your partner acts in front of another couple while in a couple, how.

They treat you.

It's just a very cool dynamic that a lot of people don't get to see firsthand. Also, you get to experience and sometimes if you've never been on a double date, when you're out at a bar, and you talk to another couple. Just being around other people, how does he treat you when you're like in that space. I love to see that, genuinely, Like, it's very interesting to me to see the dynamics of someone when we're around other people.

Okay, test it out.

I mean I did it with my ex, but more with like uh Luis and morgana like the sex club group, and we were all friends, so it didn't feel like a double day. It's like he was just hanging out. The advice is, don't start a fuck buddy relationship if you might want to be with him, because it's really hard to switch up.

That's just what it is, and that's it.

Decisions Pod at gmail dot com. Send us your questions in and we'll see you next week.

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