If you would like to have us answer your questions. If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or a terrible throuffle. Guess what You've got Decisions? Hey, y'all, welcome back to another episode of You've Got Decisions. It's wheezy. I'm in Los Angeles at the moment at WTF Media Studios. Here I'm by myself, so sad you miss Mandy, I know me too. We are heading to Vegas for the
Avian Awards. Fingers crossed. You're probably hearing this after we've gone to Vegas, but hoping that we win Best Podcast. For those of you that don't know what the Avian Awards is, they are also known as Support Awards. I'm here at my girl Denisha, and she's one of our lead engineers here at WTF Media Studios, and she is going to read off some questions. So normally on You've Got Decisions, we find one issue that's fucking you up, and today we're doing an amak me anything. Hopefully these
aren't too bad. I actually only looked at like one because I just screen shot it like in the car Tiia.
So I just want to start by saying people say crazy shit to you when you're like some of these are crazy?
Oh, like can they?
Can you sit on my face? Is crazy?
Like I'm so used to this, I have to doing horrible decisions for you. Like I'm trying to think of the craziest request that I don't even fulfill. But I'm just saying, like I feel like that's like level two.
That's funny.
Uh.
Okay, do you think it's possible for a relationship to succeed with just one partner being open?
Okay, So I'll start because I'm definitely ethic. Hellll I have racist everybody ethically no a monogamous person. And then Denisha want your answers. So, for one, I hospital, Dick, if you've been a listener of decisions decisions for a minute.
With someone I dated that was totally monogamous, all I wanted to do was sleep with other women with him, and he was like no, Like, if you don't want only me, this doesn't make sense one person having such an open and like free brain, it really fucks up because what ends up happening is you make the other person feel so unwanted. Like, for example, if you were dating somebody and they had sex with another woman. You
may feel insecure, like they don't care about you. You might feel unloved, you might feel like you're not doing enough, you're not pleasing sexually. My brain doesn't go there, which is weird. I should, but I just be thinking, Oh, he's just super horny, or he wants to try something new, and I'm able to detach. So like, I have a lot of conversations with my homegirls where they judge me
on the other end. Sometimes even in a friendship is difficult and they be like, oh, he doesn't want to do this, it's hyper sexual, or this isn't good for a family dynamic. And it's like, I've been like this my whole fucking life. And I honestly I can remember even like the college age, not that I finish college, but the college age have a girlfriend and then having a
boyfriend and always being that kind of girl. And I feel like it really carried on to me being a middle aged woman thirty five middle aged No easy, it's okay, Well I feel close. Okay, so you meet somebody great, they're ethically no monogamoust but you're not. Do you think it could work?
I do not.
They're ethically no monogamous and I'm not. Yeah, and he wants to sleep with other women. That's not I don't think I could handle that.
Now. What if he told you, like, okay, well I could try being monogamoust would you even have faith in that?
Probably not, if I'm being honest.
It would just be in the back of my mind, like you really you just want to fuck other bitches for real?
Not even yeah.
I don't think that, Like I would feel secure knowing that that other person is used to a lifestyle. It's almost like I'm vegan, you eat meat, but you go vegan for me.
But I feel like if I was a man and I was monogamous and my girl wanted to be no and she wanted to be with other women, I would be like, cool, what's it?
See? This is the thing men say that, and I think after a while you're just like, okay, so you get to do all this and I can't. And I've actually read letters from women had I can't remember who it was, but someone close to me. Maybe we had them on horrible I don't know, But long story short, she was really getting annoyed with the fact that her boyfriend wanted to be involved with her other women. She's like, I'm not with any other man. I don't understand why
he needs to ruin this. This is my thing. This is my thing solo. I'm like, okay, but you don't let him have.
Him his thing.
So, but is it she's just not letting him do it or he has the option too, he just doesn't want to.
I don't think he has option either. That's the rule. That's what I mean. Just like you said, so, the open shit is just really fucking weird. The only time it does work. Unfortunately, this is very misogynistic to say, but I believe it could work if the man is not monogamous and you genuinely don't want to sleep with
anyone else, and they respect the boundaries. I only say that because we've been having this mindset of men cheat, men want other things, but they'll always come home in our brains for so long that I actually think some women can handle that. I don't know I could know, but I do think some women could. And let me just say for the record, me being open it open and closes all the time, Like we talk about when I want to have children then and at that point
it'll be closed. There's times where I get really depressed and stressy about my family stuff and our relationship is closed. Like I might to be crying about some shit, but my mama, you gets wis me right? But like everybody has different rules for me. Opening and closing is the best. If we're in an argument, we don't act on other things. If we're having a tough week, No, Like, what do I look like entertaining some bitch on my phone and we're not good?
I feel like that's how you can tell if a couple is actually ethically no monogamous because they like genuinely want to be you know what I mean, Like, you guys have boundaries and all that stuff, Like you're not just doing it just to do it.
Yeah, they're they're doing it just to do it though, that's the ego.
Yeah, all right, this next question, would you stay with a man you love through erectile dysfunction.
Back to the open? Yeah, because I feel like that could be fixed.
Yeah, they have pills for that.
I don't really, I say, And I will say this. I have like a lot of weird pussy stuff that happens not smell, but sometimes I have areas of vagin it's missed throughout my life. When I was nineteen years old, it happened with like clenching or super tightness needing to relax, like I've had it happen twice from nineteen to today at thirty three years old, and I can't imagine if somebody was like, oh, yeah, I'm not dealing with this, so yeah, am I.
A supposed to answer?
I know you staying with that limp D.
I've never experienced it.
But the guy that I'm kind of dating right now, he's older, and sometimes I feel like.
What's that mean?
Well, he's thirty six, girl, how do you thirty? But I feel like that's like the age where that starts to happen.
That is not older. I really thought when you heard that Clara, didn't you think she was about to be like, he's forty five fifty? She said, I'm dating someone older's.
She's like, first off, thirty six is older to you, not older, but he's older than me thirty.
And thirty six is not that much. When you said I'm dating someone older, I was ready for him to have an ARP card.
Okay, let's go to the next question.
Agreed, Yeah, you're tripping you right there.
Okay, this is not for them. I met him on hinge.
Okay, that's where a mama and he ain't got no ed, you'll be straight.
That's funny. Okay, let me find another one.
To answer the can I sit on your face question? What did you think I was gonna reply?
That's all imagine like, yeah, let me just I.
Just want to know when people are like, let me fuck you in the ass in a random comments if someone's like, yeah, okay.
Okay, how you tell him you don't want to have sex with him anymore? No hard feelings, just done with it.
How do you tell someone you don't want to have sex with him anymore? Okay? Number one the ghosting shit, We have to stop this. In twenty twenty five, ghosting someone is just so fucked up because even if you just lose interest, you literally make them feel like, holy shit, they're walking back the days they spent with you last, the last conversation. They're thinking they did something to piss
you off, hurt your feelings. And if it's literally just a disconnect and energy, ugh, simple text be like hey, this really sucks, but moving into a new phase, I'd like it if we could just continue our our relationship at a friendship level, like I don't even leave room for maybe open ended. No, just like this is what I need. We're friends now. I like a text message too, because I feel like once you get somebody on the phone, they'd be trying to talk you off the ledch and get back in a pussy.
Okay, this is a good one.
Let's talk about when men have a great masculinity energy. I'm assuming they mean masculine energy. But the dick size is three T. Do you leave three T isn't tomer?
Yes?
Okay, this is the difference between sexual arousal. I think in the actual sex, if he is a small dick and that can't get you off, but his masculine energy, his presence, and all of that seems to be satisfying you. I don't know. If you can't handle a small dick, you do gotta go. Nothing is worse than getting fucked and feeling like you can't feel it. Now. I've dated somebody with a small dick before, and the reason it
wasn't bad is because I was so into them. I didn't even I realized the sex was bad until I gave him some pussy. Once we broke up, and I was like, this was what I was having, this little shrimp beak. Yeah, I know. I would figure out if you enjoy the sex with him outside of penetration, whether it be oral, whether it just be I don't know, the making out, fucking riding him that can also make it feel another inch bigger, anal, whatever it is, like,
do you enjoy the things outside of him? Because I would keep a motherfucker on the roster if they were fun and fine, and I'd be like, Okay, I'm gonna suck that little dick later and put up with it. And then you have your BBD on a feed dial.
All right, it's six months too early to have a baby by someone you just met.
I don't want to say no because I don't want to have to get rid of it. So next question, I'm sorry, I'm trying to find this is crazy, Like are you pregnant now? In what state do you live in? Do I need to say I knew something?
Jeez?
Yeah, there's no way. I actually think you need to live with somebody before you coparent with them. No judgment. If this hasn't happened to anybody who's listening, I know things happened by surprise. I'm a cream pie girl too.
It's okay, tell us about a time sex made you cry. I've been having a lot of these moments, good cries.
Okay, ooh the last time I had a good cry during sex? Okay, it was last week. I was really stressed out about work. And the thing that sucks about crying during sex is it's not always about the person. So what happened was I was having a bad day. I was falling asleep on the couch. After hyping him up there he was gonna get some pussy, and once he carried me into the bed, I started to just be like, oh my god, I feel so bad. I'm always hired, I'm always this, I'm always busy. Now he
starts kissing me, massaging me. We start fucking, and I don't know if the dick just hit this little emotional button in my piss's pussy, but I just start full on having a fucking breakdown, crying, and I think that he thought I was having a crazy orgasm from it, but it was just a very intense moment of release.
It almost felt like the sex that I was having with him was for myself and not even him, and there's a lot of times where I get so overwhelmed with my own shit that I forget my own pleasure. I forget to masturbate, I forget to look pretty, I forget to just take care of my own sexual self. And so that was the last time I cried randomly, though I've definitely accidentally cried with like someone that I
don't give a fuck about. And the entire time I cry when I'm getting fucked is it's really I'm just releasing I've said that Towice Okay. Rules for fuck buddies, ooh, I think this is a really good one. So Mandy and I talked about this with I feel like Mike the Poet, and it was a conversation we had regarding romance for fuck buddies. I think it's all up to what you can handle. For example, if someone had to make a rule book for Wheezy, I'm not even gonna
say what rules you should make. I'm an overly emotional girl. I know what I can handle. I know what I can't handle. So I would say number one for me, no sleepovers, waking up next to someone, the cuddling, the getting to watch the movies. That's an intimacy that's so beyond sex that I'll start to get attached and you'll become the placeholder for that. Let's just say when I was single, I know me and a Keen Woods would
watch back to back reality shit fucking dumb TV. And if I was doing that with my fuck buddy, it would literally make him the placehold. I would stop thinking about doing things with friends because I want to share them with you. You just start going beyond. I think another rule for fuck buddy to me, no fluid bonding, which means using condoms only. I think even when it's your only partner at the time, something happens when the
condom come off where you're my nigga. Now rule number three for Wheezy again, I think no events that include friends front facing, like things where you're mixing and mingling with people that are in your inner circle. I think the fuck buddy should actually remain pretty anonymous to everybody you know, like of course your homegirls know who they
are in the group chat. But I think once you start taking it outside of the bedroom, you lose control and you start to get the wires crossed, and then you end up wanting more, and then boom, Now you got no date next.
With you?
Show your ever show your partner publicly and why don't you just do?
Okay, So this is an interesting one. What I would show my partner publicly? For me, it used to be a hard No. I've only done it with my ex girlfriend and that's because we dated before I had a podcast, so I say no. But me and this nigga are a dating app. So it's like, I don't know for right now. No, But I feel like if I was married, I wouldn't mind. But it's never gonna be like this in my head. I could be wrong. This still photoed
me with him out. I feel like I'm gonnaybe have a story and I'm gonna be like, oh my god, we're doing this ha haa like some in the moment shit. I just don't know if I want like it on the grid. And for me, it's mainly because you do invite a lot of energy in once you start sharing, and this is the first someone that's not a podcast
or a personality or what I genuinely feel like. Once you have a photo of someone on your page, you just invite a lot of energy and you invite someone to send it to them and say, oh, when did you start doing this? Or I don't know, fake pages, just weird shit. I just the private shit is really real. The more that you keep things private, the more peaceful
your relationship is. But I also know, on the contrary, a lot of people like to share their partner publicly because they feel like they're claimed, right, Like a lot of my homegirls have said they feel way better when their man posts them, and I'm just like, but he'll still fucking rely bisuck he wants to. I really believe that.
What about you?
Have you ever like posted someone.
You've dated or never?
I don't really post anyway like that, and I just don't. I would, but I just don't.
How many months or years would you have to date before you do it.
I feel like I would want to post like my wedding, That's what I would want.
I'll think about that too, Yeah, which I'm gonna try to sell my wedd into fuse. You know. Actually, there's one thing I almost posted recently. So my boyfriend and my mom have a really special relationship that they've been growing. In the day that they met, they were dancing together in the living room. She started playing music and I came out of the bath and they were dancing, and then I went to his parents' house. I made food for them. Yes, I made food for a Nigerian family.
I can't believe it either. I was scared and we started dancing with his mom and I was like, damn. You know when you go to someone's wedding and in the vows they talk about what the couple liked to do together. I was like, Oh, this is like a really special thing of us. So I thought about posting it, and I was like, you know what, this is only special to me, And if I posted, I'm just showing it off. Sure, I'm sharing my happiness, but like somebody
will ruin it. And no, the most they gonna get out of me right now, I'm about to be a asia for a few weeks. S'all might get a little bit of a beach, his nipper ring and one or two dreds.
That's what I think I got to get. Okay, I've been dealing with the same man for fifteen years. Do I keep fucking him?
What the fuck kind of context is that?
Bitch?
I know, I'm assuming it's like a situationship type of thing.
I think situationships are an interesting thing because, like, I've been stuck in so many of them just because I thought it would eventually happen. I actually think my relationship now could have almost been a situationship. Almost Once you're wit that six months mark, it's like, am I you a bit or now? Like what's going on? Fifteen years is a long fucking time. I'm gonna guess that your mid thirties, I must say, in fifteen years, someone isn't stepping up in the way that you want. You need
to look elsewhere. And in those fifteen years you've probably become so comfortable with this person that like, you don't even look anywhere else where else, You're satisfied. Your family and your friends probably know him like he's just there. But no, I think it also shows how much they're willing to take advantage of you if they haven't stepped up in fifteen years, either pitch fifteen months out of it, out of there, Sorry, no, shade, we have time for one more.
Yes, this is a little bit less on the sex side. How do you manifest?
Oh my god, this is a good one. Okay, let me pull up what Okay, people have been asking me for a long time how I manifested my partner. I'm going to give this advice. Okay, there was a high level frequency Ooh, I'm a hotap where I was trying to manifest love. I would listen to it tonight and I don't know if it said words during or whatever. It was some ten hour YouTube, right, But this is what I will say for manifestation. This is the best
tip I can give. I believe that everything I want hair, nails, money, friendship, love, everything I think comes to you from the way that you talk to yourself. So for the next three days, I want all of you listening to start talking to yourself differently. Every inner conversation that you're having in your head. The second it gets bad, you need to course correct. For example, Denisha, let's just say she walks outside and so she did the bitch field down yesterday. That's right,
knee to the ground. So this kind of knocks you off your game for a second, and it makes you like be like fuck, like I'm so or whatever, I'm not paying attention. Instead of shitting on yourself, the next thing you say is something like I have the ability to be more still, to be more calm, to be more patient things like that. Normally when we trip or falls because we're in a rush, it's things like that. It's course correcting that thought. And of course your mind
is going to be like, ugh, you're annoyed. But that's the next thing you say to yourself. And you also need to learn how to talk to yourself in your
own head. So, for example, if I was trying to get a bank loan, instead of having nervous energy while the decision is being made, I'm gonna sit there, I'm gonna be quiet, and I'm going to start feeling and seeing what it's like to have that I don't know, fifty thousand dollars extra that I need to be approved, And if it doesn't happen, I'm going to be like, maybe the APR was too high at this bank, because I'm gonna get it everything I want I get when it comes to like, I would say love, which is
what many people ask me for about manifesting. The reason I think it happened is because I already talked about what he would look like, what he would smell like, the things he would be into. I've played this video
so many times to myself and to him. I was in Brooklyn in Mandy's studio two years ago, maybe three years ago, and I literally said everything about what he would be like and the kind of conversations we would have, and what people would think of him, what I would think of him, and how he would make me feel. And I got it like eight months later. But it's because I knew it was coming. I felt very deeply that this is what was meant for my life. I also will say when it comes to manifesting, you have
to actually believe it. It has to be a natural thought that's coming to your head. Manifestation and affirmation are not the same thing. You cannot look in a mirror and say I am beautiful, I am worthy and think that's manifestation. It's not. That's words coming out of your mouth. Your
manifestation is your thoughts. If you are not actively and strongly thinking that you're a fucking winner, that you're fucking beautiful, that you are the most beautiful person walking down the street, external internal, that people could see it, you'll literally change your posture once you start talking to yourself like that, And if you can try to course correct bad conversations with yourself for three days, I think you will see a difference already. I really will attest to this. I
believe it all the time. With money, I've had so many little pitfalls that will happen, something that will cancel, and I'm just like, h it, really, I understand too. It It takes privilege to say that, but I want you to know confidence is everything when it comes to manifesting what you want. So I hope all of these tips help. If you want me to do another AMA, just write Decisions Pod at gmail dot com. I'm still getting used to not saying horrible decisions at gmail dot com.
And we won't answer all of your you got decisions questions also on Patreon if you're a Patreon member, we use those questions as priority lists, so we won't mainly get to those first before email. So see you next Wednesday.