You've Got Decisions: Am I Moving on Too Fast?

I want to know when you want to introduce a sexual experience to your partner, how do you do it? Mandy and I are always saying through porn, set the scene. Let's just say tonight, you really want to chew on your niggas balls, you want to take your teeth and chew on them?

How are you introducing new sexual shit?

Something that I've been doing lately is using clips from my podcast. I'm like, oh, I had six dollars just on and they told me about this, Or I will use a clip from Horrible and I'm like, oh, I saw this on this podcast.

Not porn, but you're just showing sterry conversation.

Just as like, because there's a new relationship. I'm just you know, testing the waters. So I was like, do you know what compersion is? He was like, no, I saw hesw this clip. I saw it and then it was Louise explained what compression was, or if it was like, oh, what do you think about?

What's another clip?

Oh?

I saw them golden showers, so when you think about golden showers? And he was like, yeah, nin into that. He was like, you ever did it before?

Hey, here we are, y'all, Billy not saying he was never gonna come again. But it really amped it up when that nigga said, this is how I found out about King Noir. I went on, need to be studied, but we were trying to schedule. He's like, oh, well, I have a session with King Noir. But it's okay. I said, oh no, nigga, we could push our thing. You go get that and they come on home. Now, normally I thought King Noir was a female client, but he said that he was open for you to talk

All right, So this is where I had to do this.

So I was in a toxic relationship and I developed sexual performance anxiety. So I wasn't confident about my body. He wasn't that like, it wasn't pouring into me. So I'm like, am I.

Even good getting hard? Or just getting anxious?

Just getting anxious, like thinking like am I taking dick the right way?

Or am I stucking his dick property? Because he would just be like.

It was I like, look at I And it made me call other niggas like, yo, this isn't my dick game? Like can I talk like, yeah, I'm like, so.

This nigga's bugging. But he was just a toxic motherfucker.

So I was like, you know what, before I go into this, and that's the point in my podcast, like I use it to make sure, like I'm learning stuff needs to be studied, so I'm learning about my sexual needs and how to communicate better relationships.

So I was like, you know what, I have to do it. I have a segment called try It for the podcast.

So I was like, such a good segment name.

Yes, I mean we say we don't stuck for research with research, We're doing it for research over here.

So I'm like, so I hit him up and I was like, do you work with male clients? Because I always was trying to figure out who works with male clients. I know Ken, No, I know some marvels. But I'm like, so, I'm like, well, Ken, I got to do it if I seen him suck a couple of dicks.

So, but he sucked.

Let's be very clear to separate only because I'm very adamant in drawing the line between I've only seen King no Art actively publicly suck trans women dicks. That's different than medics. Yes, So when you hit him up, and I don't know, like I'll say, you stuck a dick. Those were attached to women. So what was your question to him about dealing with male clients? Because I'm outside of like three stooms, I've never seen him deal with male clients.

So I basically was like, oh, I'm interested in learning my kings and fetishes, but I don't know anybody that will male clients.

Can you point me to a direction? Who would you know?

Okay, I'll take your money, Oh not?

Can you guide me?

Give meidan where to go? And he said, I, you know male conent. I was like, oh, let's talk about this. So he told me he was like Donald Telegram, I telegram. So he gave me his number and then we started speaking about it.

So did he send you his broundies boundaries too on what he does with Yeah, So at first we did a consultation. He's asking me well like and I'm like, yeah, what were you hiring him for? I just want to know, Like I want to do stuff that I never explored. So I was like, let's do this session based off a century play, like I want to I want to see what flogging fils like.

I want to feel. I want to feel different things I want to do. I want to do a professional Okay, it's like okay. So then he gave me a list of stuff to fill out and my arm to see what I'm into? Am I into change? Am I into which? So I'm like, all right, I'm into this, I'm into that. And then he was like, all right, I'll be back in New York at this time. Let's follow up.

But then he followed up.

And then that's when like we start speaking the money. I think it's pricey, but it.

Was expensive, was it under? It was five hundred to one thousand, or thousand to fifteen hundred or what.

I would say it was from twenty five hundred to three thousand.

I was gonna say, So Marvelous is like fifteen hundred for two hours.

Like I have friends that book smarts these mother.

I can't tell you what he said.

I saved it. He can't tell it on camera.

I have friends that have booked So Marvelous for over two grand plus flights for like two to three hours. Like I will say for anywhere, solo sessions, solo sessions, I will say for.

Anyone listening, anyone that we've come.

On this podcast and kind of talk to they not cheat, No, no, no, she to that girl. Listen, she said six sixty six, she said, she said, may you all listen to the Dominatrix Jacks. She's the episode that you heard last week. She shared her rate.

She did, these niggas is expensive.

Yeah, they are. They are. So it was we get it. Yeah, it was.

It was put.

Him race for two hours or whatever. So I'm like, okay, so you know you send a deposit and then.

Fifty percent deposit?

Why I say for an hour? When not you have two?

Now?

What did you go in paying.

For an experience?

So I just I just want to try something like I watching you guys show you learned with flog in Nobody has a flog in it black.

I say that all the time. I'll be like, where the fuck these niggas?

Right?

So you wanted to experience flogging it?

Right?

Ye?

Flogging? Send three play? What other elements of sensory play?

There was no exact reason. I just wanted to experience and say, okay, I did the first round.

Now for the next round.

I know I wanted to up thinking that like okay, he's guy said my yes, and nose.

You're gonna get me whatever you got.

I'm thinking, like, we're gonna do whatever you got.

But he's like, Okay, when we get there, I'll show you what type of tools and the equipments that I have and we'll go through it.

And his voice crazy that ship, that's it indeed.

So now we get there, so you have to book the hotel yourself and then you tell him where to go.

Wait, you got to pay him and pay for the room.

So I booked the hotel on Time Square, okay, and he came over and then he just came in. He was like, you know, his voice is so deep there and find it's so sexy. I'm thriking about him too. So he was like, did he put the I don't know what radio station. I think it's a snow All radio station.

Not you know about sex playlist, Nigga pointed me. When you say I didn't watch my ship, then playlist is it?

Okay?

Then he started taking the stuff out and then he was like, all right, this room was a little small, you know, it's New York City, Tom Square. He was like, all right, we're gonna make this work though, So then he started saying you want to be butt.

Naked, and I'm like, I'll keep my clothing for right now, you know, like I just.

Want to I've been nervous to get naggd too.

Yeah.

So then he's like telling me like layout and then like so I started explaining to him why I want to do it. I was having second so, like I was insecure about my body and I just want to build that confidence back. Yeah, he's already were gonna get you there right, So and I told him I want to be dominated, like I love a good dominant person like and I love being a little bitch ass. So so he told me spread out archie back.

He said that you weren't naked.

That wasn't that yet. He said, I have a great arch and I think every person that needs to know that I have a great arch.

A great art.

She said, my name Ke had a great art. Okay, all right, So he had me like right out and then he started flogging me.

Then he so he started using ice down my back, and then he told me he was like, from now here on out, every time you talk to me, you have to say yes, king sir.

So I'm just like, so he smacking my ass yes, king sir, you like this. Yes. At one point I was my mind. I said, yes, king daddy.

Yes, he said, she'd be saying, my dick.

Literally, I get to the ship instead of what was easy to come dick, okay, keep going, keep going.

Now he's doing that. I'm just like, all right, this feels good. So now he tried to use another thing, but it was like a what I think it's called like a dragontail.

That ship hurt.

It felt like I was on roots, like, oh, so, thank you for mentioning that. So it was red, green or yellow. So it was at one point when he was using the whips, I said red that Nigga stought the music so fast.

I like, he said, you stuck everything. I was like, yoo, don't kick.

Yellow to me.

I love something because he's got to check in that music.

I said, right that Nigga jumped over so fast something yellow.

Really happy to hear that.

I like that.

I like to click this because now we know what it was safe for. It really should be looking like everything, including back on you when you're out of sea.

I looking at the nigga like everything he said.

You said, right, nigga, you said your head let me gorsh.

So then you know he's a speeding me affirmation.

He was like, yo, you did that. He was like, you took three strong wits. I'm like you, nigga, that shit hurt. So he then from there he's back to the ice play. Then he's telling me like, your body is beautiful. Whatever your ex putting to you is poison. And he's like, I was just like, so now I've been over. He's standing on me right this not here a zip word.

You just got a little taste of the Horrible Decisions Patreon, But why it's up there. Tap in for the full, uncut and way naster episodes over on Patreon. Go to patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions and unlock all the messy, t wild stories and bonus content you won't hear anywhere else. And now here's You've Got Decisions if you would like to.

Have us answer your questions. If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or a terrible throatfle guess what You've got decisions?

Hey, guys, we'll welcome to another you Got Decisions Because if it's one thing we know is we all have the right to make a toy as. Now, I don't know why it started this week off that way, but I'm in a little then, Dude, I am here to give my solicitor advice because you asked for a bitch.

You motherfucking asked for it.

Okay, But before we get into the you Guy Decision listeners submitted question of the week, I'm gonna read yet another review from Amazon. But also we have an update from a previous You Got Decisions listener about not being able to nut. Now, if y'all just saw one of our most recent episodes, soo, we was talking about our favorite nuts, So y'all might want to go and check that out and see if you like the nut like me or if you like the nut like Wheezy. And

Okay.

Anyways, y'all know we have our book out No Holds Bard, a dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power. And this book review comes from Amazon read us sixty two. So proud of Mandy and Whezy. This book is a must read bestseller. It's titillating, informative, humorous, vulnerable, and soul stiring. I identify so much with many of their experiences captured in this book in terms of exploring sexuality, affirming my

I know that's right.

We want the world baby to get with it or get lost. No, really excited about just the journey that we're on with this book. A lot of things have just been so unexpected, and I'm just really, really really grateful for the horre Hive and everything. Also, keep track of our Instagram page and Patreonon Patreon, we kind of let you know everything that we got going on, So join us on Patreon to be up to date where we may be coming to a.

City near you.

We are looking to do more intimate spaces within the bookstore routing and not doing the theaters. But we are looking to bring the podcast back on tour, possibly at the top of next year. We're looking to recreate it, but for everything this year, we are focused only on no holds barred. If you haven't got it yet, please go out and get that hunt. Now, I'm going to read an update from a previous letter before we get to this week's question.

Now, this one is a follow up from I Can't Get My Nut.

If you want to see where that is, you can go to our Instagram feed and literally it'll most likely be titled I Can't get my nut on the YGD portion. So hey, just wanted to say thank you both for the advice. It really came through. After watching, I went to the sex door, grabbed a new toy, some lube and lingerie, set the mood with music and body oil per Wheezy suggestion, and ended up squirting four times back to back.

Now, to go from not.

Getting a nut to squirting back to back four times, let's you know, we kind of know what we'd be talking about up here. Now we are unofficial experts on all things, but baby, I think we kind of know what we're talking when it comes to kind of the bitch right. Ever since, it's been easier and way more consistent, like something finally clicked. I've even caught myself trying to run from it. I know that's right, what I've picked up. Stop overthinking. Suction toys work well for me. Moaning makes

Let me hear you.

Signify that what I'm doing is good. And then for me moaning just oh it just made me feel good or whatever. All right, let's get into this week's You Got Decisions. If you have a question that you want us to read here on You Got Decisions, please please please email us now at.

Decisions pod at gmail dot com and just.

See you know.

If you'd like to see the full video of the You Got Decisions for.

The week, head on over a Baby to Patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions. All right, let's see disciple sasshold. I need some help, she said, needs your advice. Hey, girls, I'm a new fan who loves listening to your podcast and will love to get your advice on my current situation, so I just had to email. I am recently out of an eleven year relationship and we have two young children. We are for sure over and I am ready to

PS.

I love what you guys are doing and pray you continue to thrive love death. Now, I guess let's start with friends and their opinions on what the fuck you do with yo kuchi yo dick and your heart? Okay, for me and how I operate, Let me share how I operate, just so that you know where this advice.

Is coming from. I am someone that and y'all have heard me say this time and time again.

I don't think I have one friend who's relationship I envy, or that I can look up to, or that I'm like, ooh, they got it right, not one.

I think everyone has their ups and downs. I think we all have.

Different ways that we view relationship dynamics, the way that we view looks.

Because bitch, that's another thing. My friends like media ugly niggas, so we never agree on who to talk to who not to.

I just say, if you like it, I love it, sis, And so for me, I normally come to my friends and share the dirt after I already did it. You know why, because bitch, I wasn't gonna care what you said anyways. So let me go through the.

Dirt, the mud, the blood, get.

My heart broke, feel stupid, feel dumb, and then I'm gonna come to you and be like, bitch'all was a dumb ass, bitch, let me tell you what I did, Like, I literally just did that where I brought somebody back from the past for like the fucking fifty eleventh time that didn't deserve to be in my present, and he

But let me tell y'all why I don't talk to him no more.

And it was because he showed his ass, so to me, I'd rather just get through the shit in silence and then share with my friends the blow up. Right.

And so when you're talking to your friends constantly about your relationship.

By the way, it's August, which means you broke up with your baby daddy and your long standing relationship with this man that didn't want to make you his wife almost a year ago.

You are like eleven months ten eleven months to the year.

I personally think you are currently at a place where it is fine that you have moved on and am having sex and are having sex with someone else. Now when it comes to your friend, I think what we as women need to do is learn to create our create boundaries, tell our friends to shut the fuck up, and still let them feel like they can share their opinions at the same time.

So let me tell you what I mean in terms of creating boundaries.

I think that you, if you feel like she's now having you second guest someone, you should create your boundary by saying, hey, I really love sharing you know what's happening in my life with you. However, if you're going to keep being negative about something that is currently bringing me joy, I'm not going to feel comfortable sharing these things with you. So I would love for you to either respond to or if you ain't got nothing nice

I'm happy and you writing all my motherfucking prey. Here's the here's the toxic way.

Here's the toxic way to check a friend who's giving you the unsolicited device on what you're doing, especially when they shit not together. Now, girl, you telling me all these things, but when you left Craig, your baby daddy, and when it started fucking Darius and you went.

Through all that shit, I supported your decisions to make that right. What you do in.

The toxic way to get a bitch to shut up is to call out where they fucked up, call out where they did some shit that you didn't agree with, but you let them continue to find their way.

That's the toxic way. And you shaking your hand, y'all. I'm in the studio.

I need to know studios right now, and the engineer court is like shaking his hand, that would be the toxic way. Like, bitch, hold up the mirror to your friend and tell her how she did some fuckery and you allowed her to just live in her fuckery.

For as long as she lived in it. Ain't that the right way to do a court.

To be honest, I wouldn't even call that a toxic my book. That's just that's just how I That's just how I keep.

It real with.

Let's be very clear. This is why my friends know.

There are certain stories and inklings where once they start giving me the advice on what I'm doing, Oh bitch, at this point, girl, you're not serious because the way your baby daddy is set up, the way you not get it, the way a nigga ain't never.

Gave you that. I'm not the fact you feel.

Me like it's so weird because we do normally have all of this like rah, you know what I mean for someone doing some shit that we think is some some doodo, but then we expect them to kind of be supportive when we're doing that same shit. And I think it's it's the hypocritic nature of that, you know what I mean, Like there's a lot of people who could give advice that can't take their advice.

So also too is like, don't lecture me on accountability when you can't take it, like audacity is a thing.

But also it's interesting to me, and I want to go back to the letter. This is the father of two children. They were together for eleven years. She mentions like he stops showing up for her. She fell out of love for him. And let's be very clear when a woman's better, y'all know. I love referencing that. I know even yeah, I don't care. One of the best

You know what I mean?

Yeah, she knew what it was in her mind.

Type you feel me and so to me.

I genuinely feel like a you need to tell your friend you either show up for me and support or you don't. Secondly, since you called an asked, I do not believe at all.

That you are quote unquote moving too fast.

I also don't think at this point personally, you should be considering the feelings of your baby daddy. If you have not been with him for ten or eleven months, you quote unquote making him mad, which is what you reference in this letter.

I'll tell you it's a little toxic. It's a little toxic. Do you want to be with this man or do you not? I think you should not be.

Considering your ex partner's feelings if the only relationship currently is going to be co parenting. Now, if you genuinely feel guilty that you're sleeping with someone else, if you genuinely feel like you are doing something wrong, if you're not feeling like you can express any sort of love intimacy with another man, because your baby daddy, in this lie in your relationship is still in the back of

Girl, you're a good person.

But he ain't worried about that.

Obviously he's not, I mean, but you know what, and if he is, if he's making you guilty for moving on, baby, it's called manipulation. Uh, Because if he wanted to, he would right. So, if he wanted to within those eleven years, put a ring on your finger, make you his wife, show up for you in a way that didn't make you want to step out or leave or break up

He is the father of your child and an ex two different things.

The father of your children can't make you feel guilty for moving on in a relationship when y'all are no longer in a relationship now an ex who might still just be trying to keep in and has the emotional lingering ties to you as a lover and a partner, those are the strings that you need to break free of. If you're saying he didn't show up for you, y'all

You either move the bug on, or you don't you say or you don't like.

You can't be on both sides of the coin, and so stand firm on business.

If you one hundred percent over, talk to your friend.

In either the nice way or to realize bitchway and figure out how how much you want or need your friend's input on how you handle your love life. That would be my advice to you. Let me see who wait this way, good on this way, good on this y'all. This one was a quick one this week, but make sure you hit us up send us an email. That's