Ep88: Disabled Sex

grandma came. Um, don't ask, but anyway, I'm super excited to bring you guys this episode, so check it out and enjoy it. Hey everyone, So I'm here and I'm with two lovely ladies, one that I've never met before and one that I went down on. So I want both of you. Um, I'm gonna start from the right. Can you tell us your name, why you're horrible, and your sexual orientation. I'm trying some new ship. Okay, okay, okay, So my name is Aisha, Why I'm horrible? Why are

you here? A bitch? I love sex? I don't know. There's really no other way to put that. Don't you like all? I know, is you have a new business going surrounding sex? What is that? Uh? So I am opening a sex positive community hub that will house a porn cinema in Brooklyn. Basically I want people to get freaky in my porn cinema. Like is that legal? I

don't really know. I don't think there's like, you know, it's kind of like the same way as like, are you you're like really not supposed to have more than fifteen people dancing and drinking alcohol anywhere? So like our club's legal that kind of thing, and like but unless like anybody's at my door knocking it down. I mean you were very Brooklyn bitch. I'll say that I should.

I met on Tinder because we were supposed to have a threesome that never happened, but we had sex, and that was fucking Why do we only have sex one time? Is you busy? I know? Actually? You know what's crazy? I came to see you. You're dating someone? Are you still dating him? That guy when we went ice skating together? No? Not no, Well I was so fucking jealous and I was like, oh my god, like it's weird. Every time I see you, I get super like, oh wait, yes,

not ice skating. I am. I am still dating him him anyway, so we have another if you are I am. I had posted on Horrible Decisions and on my personal Instagram looking for new people that are horrible and just interesting, and Ashley reached out to me and, um, yeah, I'm super excited to have you on. Ashley wanted to come on to talk about having sex wild disabled, So yeah, tell us, like how old you are, where you live with your sexual orientation. So I am from Jacksonville, Florida.

I'm twenty nine. I'll be thirty in December. Uma ohay' so sash Well, well yeah, I um well, while I'm my horrible huh well okay. So I always got this like taboo conversation going on around um sex, particularly from men that will basically ask me if my vagina works.

So the fact that I kept getting that question, I'm like, obviously something's not connecting where they really don't think that I can have sex um and I definitely wanted to kind of speak to that and just like my personal experiences too, um of like dating and stuff like that. I consider myself from the queer spectrum, So I have always been attracted to women I have had experiences with women, but I haven't dated a women relationship wise, you identified

square by pan sexual. Okay, okay. By the way, I think my second time me and you were hanging out, you were like fleeing to leave because the Muslim ban happened. You're like, I'm about to go fucking protests and the guy you were dating was over the ship. I love you for that. So I'm really excited to have these two women here to get into this dialogue. So first kink of the week. Um, if you've never heard horrible decisions are kink of the week is always a word

of paraphilia and we teach you something new. Normally it's hard to say, but not this week. This week's kink is abrasions. And I picked this kink because on a Patreon episode, my friend James told a story where he met a trans guy that like lifted his shirt up at this club and had a bunch of like scratches all over his chest and body and like to get

cut up Like that was his kink. Have you guys ever seen someone that was into that or I'm aware of it, but no, I've never I've never been with anyone or talked to anyone who like, I feel like that's definitely white people. But you know king, you know Catholic, Like, what's the thing where they take flogging? Flogging that comes from what I feel like, it's like in the same vain of that. Why does religion revert to everything masculinity?

All of these things in from like the minute you are like conceived of, like what's in your household, And I feel like it creates all these like manifestations, like what you think of Jesus When you see like cuts all over the body, it gets you, turns you on. Well, I mean maybe for some people he was like the first naked man that they were seeing. It's very I could see that. So don't have anything else to masturbate

to Jesus up there. I don't know every guy that I want to funk that lives in Brooklyn looks like Jesus. I mean, you're staying in Brooklyn right now. And by the way, I'm so happy actually actually flew up here for this. I'm so grateful because I feel like, just to have this conversation with someone that's in a wheelchair and talking about sex, you want to know what they look like. So bad, and we're both sitting across from her. Actually whispered when you were walking. I was like, she's

pretty right, like I pretty? Oh my god. And I feel bad to say that, but like that's how it comes. I couldn't help it, you know what I mean, because I think we all in our minds feel so sorry when we hear about that. But it's just like you clearly could get fucked, like but it happens several times. So for Vanilla Ship, I feel like it was very

un brand. I started researching things with disabilities and sex and I found a Vice article that was titled I Give disabled People Orgasms for a living, and it was about sex surrogates. Have you heard of this? So I did a little recap. Okay, it's a company called Sensual Solutions and they're basically intimacy coaches that help people with disabilities, not like escorting or anything. It's more like kissing and touching.

And because people with disabilities get horny and thousands of people, you know, want to feel human and worthy, and just that intimacy of touching and connecting with someone, I think might be really hard because other people are scared. What do we what would you call someone that is not what do we say? I don't want to use the word normal, Yeah, I don't. I don't know the term to al would use either. Always say um able body,

able body, okay, perfect, I like that. UM. But yeah, basically, these people, UM go in so right there trying to figure out where the orogenous zones are on that disabled person, and if it just so happens that they're paralyzed from the waist down and they can't feel anything, they try to remap the brain with a new pleasure center. UM, and just kind of help that person access their body and what's going to feel good for them. Um. One of the men that was I think he had cerebral posy.

Is it cerebral or cerebral? Okay? You know one of the guys on there said that, you know, he feels like he has to be very vulnerable. I have to certain have a certain level of vulnerability to let someone have sex with you, opposed to able bodied people. UM. And then there was another company I've that basically volunteered to help people whose hands are nonfunctioning or too many spasms or something like that to help them masturbate. And we were having the conversation me and Aisha in the

lobby about whether or not we could do it. I feel like I couldn't because I'd be so nervous. I don't know if I I think it was the question about volunteering because I don't free. Yeah, yes, but like could you for the greater good? Like, there's so many things I would do to volunteer, but I don't know if I could do that. I think, above a lot of things, this is probably one I would do. Like I don't want I don't mean to sound like a ship head, and I'm not really interested in like feeding

the homeless. That's probably really shitty of me to say, but like I but like I could, I could. Sex is a big part. Last time, a girl that came on our show that I had sex with, she said this comment of like how she only likes fucking girls that are black and mixed with something. Now, the next girl that I find doesn't want to me homeless? What's not everybody's thing is everybody's thing. I respect that I get you, you the jerk off, someone who can't use

their hands or momotor skills basically, then feed the homeless. Then, yeah, everybody's serving the homeless food. We don't need more people serving the homeless food. We need more hand jobs, more hand I can give homeless people hand jobs. Maybe that's something Actually, what about you? Did you do it? Especially being that you can, Maybe it's something that I have thought about because I feel like for me growing up, let me just get like a little background of like

my my situations. Yeah, I guess we'll jump into the decisions just when you understand, like how I didn't have any education whatsoever as far as sex being disabled, so to kind of figure that shoot out on my own. Um, I had a surgery for scoliosis when I was eleven, and the thank you, Yeah, so you were not born no using a wheelchurch about anything? Okay, Yeah, So I had surgery when I was eleven. Um, and the surgeon is pinched nerve in my spinal cord and it caused

paralysis from my breastline down. So yeah, So from the time that I was eleven, i'll say three to four months, I was in the hospital rehab learning how to do everything all over again. And because I was eleven, I don't even know if they do this for adults, but they don't talk about sex with you or like you know, China, like, no, nothing. The only thing that I remember them actually doing for me was shaving my legs because that's something that I did before, Like I wanted to shave my legs on

very bitch, so I'd like to shave my legs. I like to shave. But as far as like anything else, like like your pubic area you're under arms, you pretty much try to do that on your own. It was pinched right, pinch nerve. So what do you feel now? Where do you start feeling sensation? It's weird. So I my breast line down, I'm split directly down the middle, so I have more filling on my left side than

I do my right side. Wow. Yeah, And I mean when I say directly down the middle, my clip everything like it's shut yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, literally one side of your clip. Yes, I don't mean a smile. No, No, I'm like no, it's kind of assumed. And I think we all kind of assume, like if you don't feel like you just don't you just don't feel like I guess that. I mean, it makes sense to me that's actually not how the brain works, like how everything's wired. Yeah,

you go, and that's literally what it is. It's like when you have a pinch nerve, your your brain is not able to kind of like function on which area needs to work more than other. So the way my body ended up reacting to the prosses is that I am stronger on my right side than I am my left side, but I feel more on my left side than I do my right stronger like as far as the things that you can do, like picking things up. So another thing too is that they never they told

me I would never be able to walk again. I would never have any feeling I was completely paralyzed. So about three months after I got out of the hospital, I was able to wiggle my big toe. So from there it went from me wiggle with my big toe to taking steps. And now I have limited mobility. As long as I'm holding onto something, I can walk, but I still need to, you know, use a chair to get around um comfortably. Um. But yeah, like they told

me and Dad would never happen. The doctor's still to this. They don't know how I'm able to do what I'm able to do, but it's happening. So it's crazy because like just walking into the studio, Never before have I ever looked for a ramp. Yeah, and I I looked at it and then I know there were stairs coming up to the studio like just you know as far like a few. And I was like, okay, so you know what, it made me nervous? So you were able to get up those stairs because yeah, well yeah, they

were able to help me. So that's another thing that a lot of people think, like if you don't have a ramp or adaptive you know, services for people with disabilities that you know, that's an in all be all, like there's no way that you're going to get help, but not just not attend. People are going to help you if they see that you need help or if you go and ask them, like if they turn you away,

they're just assholes. That happened. Um not particularly like they will play dumb like they don't know like that I need help, but I have to like go that extra mile to actually ask for help. I'm that I could not imagine having to be dependent on people I don't know. Yeah, scary, Yeah, that is really scary with ubers, like they always do to uber extra large, Like I don't like the Yeah, and I told them like as soon as they connect with me. I messaged him and say, hey, I'll be

out on this tidewalk. I'm using a chair. I will show you how to break everything down. It'll be easy peasy because nine times and I was in especially here they see that you use a wheelchair there, Yeah, they'll cancel it. That ship should be illegal. It should be. But they do have um a wheelchair accessible like like off service from Yeah, but that's gonna take about twenty minutes for that to get to you. So I'm gonna get this uber eggs. My chair breaks down? How does

it take literally two seconds? Like it doesn't take long at all, just like well mine mine is a little bit different because okay, so you have like I wanted to ask to do you have like a good chair, like this's a popping chair. This is I just got this. I just got this ship. So this is my my every day like you know, getting around chair or whatever. But I want a mod A five my little chair almost some rams like not no spinners, but I want I want something like you know, yeah, like I don't

want like these are stands exactly. It's like it's gonna get me companies that do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's definitely companies. So back to your tips. Yeah, I made a whole mental note of the lift. Remember it's the breast line down so I can feel up until this point, So nipples are half split this way. Yeah, I'm like now like trying to figure out in my head. Yeah yeah, I just really so, I'm like down here, so it starts from my prost it starts here. So did the

tattoo hurt up here? Yeah? Yeah, that ship hurt. I feel like my chest was being like cut open like that Rihanna styles chat. Yeah, like it goes down. Um, you mentioned your clip things like that. Do you communicate these things to your partner? Like, what do you do to make sure that someone's pleasing you? I'm sure they do.

They feel like they would ask, they don't. I mean, I think it's well, that's the thing is is that they look at me and they see that I don't fit the textbook, you know, version of what someone in the chair looks like. So I hate to say that you don't. I know, I know, I think you might be the best looking person my good I must say that now I'm the bag. But I think we can all agree like yeah, because for example, you know what

this is super offensive? I don't care. Okay. I feel like when you see people right or like people may comments like oh she's hot for this, you like right and thank you about to say it, but then I was like, I don't know if I'm being so I wasn't going to say it, but like there's no yeah, no to be like a safe space today. No, And that's okay, I said. I I want you to like like asked the questions because you're not asking anything that anyone else hasn't already asked. Are you insulted when dudes

be like you're hot for the wheel? There, it's not the that's the first thing you say to me, then yes, if you don't ask, like approach me in a way that's like, hey, how are you doing? You know, to introduce yourself first, and then let's delve into that. I go to bars a lot. Well, I'm gonna say a lot of mean I go to bars basically, oh it's been,

it's been. But I got to bars and their their approach is very different because they are probably drunk, so they see what they want, but they don't know how to kind of like gauge at So are you always in your chair at okay, because I don't know if I don't like the funk. No, when I go out, you you what you see is what you get. So I actually had an inexperience with this one guy where

I've gotten into spects with people over this. But they will come up to me and either touch my chair or um ask me about like how long have I had it? And I'm like, what do you mean question? That's a yeah, I think, yeah, I feel like that's a it's a real question because first of all, I'm at a bar. So if you're asking me, um, why I'm in a wheelchair, you're asking me to delve into something that what happened to my body? Yeah? What happened to my body? I only want to ask is that rude?

Because I feel like I was thinking that that gets deeper, like what happened to your body? But I feel like some people may not really like that. They yeah, they don't. And when you're drinking too, you really don't think of it. Basically, people are like dumb and they don't know to just to be like, oh you're an like you're just a human. Yeah, Like I mean, men are dumb always right, They wheelchair are not they're asking question. It is what it is.

But with did give back to your question? Um, I typically do not explain to them like in detail, like where I can feel versus where I can't feel? Um, why not? Well, because I know my body so for me, internally it's kind of similar to where I feel more on my love side and inside it's it's kind of similar. So if I can feel you, then I I feel like that's that's fine for me. But even with able probably like person is having sex, you're gonna have a hard time having an orgasm. Or I'm thinking, yeah, I

know for a fact, dude can't make me cups. Sometimes it's okay, it's like maybe it's hard whatever, but for you almost imagine like freaking. So I would, honestly you telling me this right, if I was just gonna sleep with you, I would feel a little nervous because I would want to make sure that you're pleased you're telling me. People are sincerely not asking Guys don't because they look at me as an able body person that just uses a chair. They're not thinking about the fact that I

have a paralysis. Now, see, we need to do we need to get into because my main goal show is to obviously de stigmatize stereotypes and make you calm. Can you make me a promise? Yes, I want you to text me after it happens. The next person you fuck, you tell them where what's going to turn you on and where they're going to get you off. You've got

to do that. Yeah, we all have to do that. Yeah, it's It's definitely something that I've been like really getting to the point where it's if it's just a hookup type thing, like you know, one nice thing or whatever, then it is what it is. But I don't feel like you're maybe not saying it because you're where you're you're where you're going to scare them or make them worry of us. N They just don't. They don't. They

don't think about my pleasure, so to speak. I think with the some of the men that I have been with, I do think that they are very much attracted to the idea of me and like my body, my like because you're curvous, thank you, but they're they're attracted to that um but they don't go that extra mount into trying to please someone. They are basically using my body to mascerbrate. What about women? So with the women, So I haven't actually been with a woman as an adult,

so this was like, yea, yeah, I was the youngest. Um, so I haven't actually experienced that either. I'm sure if I did, like that would be a no brainer. Like I think we're just more sensitive, yeah, like just a little bit more. But I mean, I don't know, I can't really communicate. We communicate better with each other versus men and women. Community. Have you ever felt like someone wanted to fund you because you use a chair? Oh? Yeah? Those are called devotees. What devotees? Yeah, so they are

people that are attracted to disabilities. Yes, yea, I think Okay, maybe we haven't, but I feel like maybe we probably. Okay, so devotees, they they they are very peculiar people. So I'm I'm one of like dating apps and stuff like that, which one Oh god, well okay, so I've been on Tender, I've been on okay, Cupid. Um, I'm currently on Hinge and Bumble. It's one better for you? Yeah, so yeah Bumble, I feel like you you kind of get your cake

and eat too a little bit. Because they're they're more attractive guys on there that you will match with and actually they will communicate with you, versus with Hinge. You kind of match with them. It'll be like one or two messages and they like, you don't hear anything. So I've heard that Hinge. By the way, for those of you that don't know what Hinge is, it's an app that like connects you to mutual friends of friends in

New York. It hasn't really done that for me because I guess I don't really have many friends in New York or on Facebook. But I mean, huh are we friends on Facebook? Yeah? Okay, but um yeah, it doesn't really say much. Actually, it's funny that you asked that. Whenever I'm with match with the guy on Tender or something, is that Brooklyn Boylo, it's always at the bottom one mutual friend is You're welcome? Um oh, so like Hinge

right matches friends of friends. But I feel like maybe it's like that because it's not an actively used app like ten. Yeah, you know it definitely is Are there any sites for people that are disabled? Not that I know of. Um, I personally don't think that I would be interested though, because then it's like you're like looking for me, well, yeah, and I feel like with different devotees, they are attracted to the disability. Um, some of them feel like they have to be attracted to the person

first and then the disability comes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, so they like ask you why, Like they get off on that. They like the fact that, um, okay, it's it's a whole range of different types of the time. It's a whole different range cars like damn, yeah, yeah, tell us it's it's a whole different range of people. So you have, um, devotees that are attracted to the devices. So it could be like your assistant devices. So it could be the wheelchair,

it could be the crutches, it could be prosthetic. I know, I know. So it does a human even need to be attached to those things? Are those people who are just good? Question? In order for them to actually have a sexual relationship, then yes, they need to be like a human needs to be a chat to the object. Like you're saying, yeah, they want to like I don't want to say it. I want to say it. Let's say it like they want to come on it and they probably do. Now. I I purposely when I I

when I first realized what was happening. So there is a couple of people that would hit me up and okay, Cupid. I don't know how they found me or whatever, but I'm in Florida. They're all the way in like California. There is nothing that you can search in reference to someone having a disability, So I don't know what they're really going through. They were going picture. Yeah, I don't know what they were doing, but they were they were finding me. So I would get messages like, um, your

your wheelchairs like really sexy? Or how are how is you? How is how are your legs? Like so full? Because some of them are attracted to extra free like the slimness. Yeah, so it's when your your muscles aren't um developed, so your legs tend to be thinner. I wanted to ask you after that is one of my questions, like your body, how are you saying shape? But I don't do anything I eat, Like you know what that that right titty might not feel my No, I am you know what

it's that you say that? Because when I was younger, I was really skinny. So if if a guy at that time, I would say around the ages of like sixteen to eighteen nineteen years old. I was very thin, Like I think I weighed the most was a hundred pounds. So at that yeah, at that time, if a devotee saw me, they would have loved that ship because I looked disabled. Oh I hear you. So did you have to learn about all of these things very early to

kind of protect yourself from these people? Or like is it something that you've been collecting whatever came along the way, like with the whole the boatie thing, like it was people like finding me. And then I think I saw a vice article like a vice or broadly um that actually went more into detail about devotees. There's wannabes and then there's pretenders. So yeah, so you got your wannabes. One of these are people that are psychologically want to be disabled. Get the fuck out of here for me,

they wanted me to say. So they attracted to the immobility of it. I think it's a little bit of it's something that has happened to them when they were younger. They were exposed to something that it just kind of like clicked in their mind, like, oh my gosh, I like the way this looks so like when you think about a kid and like you know, maybe they just want to be helpless. I feel like it's not wanted episode.

I don't know if you'll ever saw this, but it was this guy that he was kept feeding this woman he was with, short, black eyed, fat white girl, and he was like, I want her to be so big that she can't move. Remember that. He's like, I have to watch her. I want to be able to do everything for her. That's how like big I want her to get. And he got turned onto the fact that that ship that is that gives me that isn't a level of devoteism like when you people are when yeah,

when you are actually in um. Some of them liked the idea of someone being helpless and they want to help them. So when when men find out that you can like your body, yeah, that you can move around a little bit, are they like surprised? Like how does that happen? You go home with a guy one night stand? Bone Like let's walk through that, yeah, yeah, because do they not know what to do? Are they don't? They don't really they don't know in in the moment what

to do. But when they see like how I am able to move, then they kind of like go with my flow. Do you ask them if they've been with anyone? Nah, because they not. They haven't. They haven't, they haven't. You're not like Latina, No they haven't. You know three had attention, No they haven't, and they haven't. No, they have it, And I think that they assume that I'm like, okay.

So there's this idea too that when you are in a wheelchair that your vagina doesn't work, so in the sense of that that you can't get what that you um, you're there's no like muscle like you know, contractions at all. But I had to like kind of explore my own body to figure out like what actually works for me. So clatoral simulation is definitely like a huge thing for me, like it I feel like what most women it is

like you have to have like clatoral simulation. So then I I okay, So from eleven, I'm masturbated a lot before eleven. From eleven, so I'll say about sixteen, I didn't masturbate at all because I thought that my I wouldn't be able to fill it and I didn't want to try to do it and and then be disappointed. So I think, no, no, no, don't, don't. But like when I got to sixteen, Oh, look, you know what this ship like, it's my name and vagina like if if it if, it doesn't happen, and it doesn't happen.

So I started trying to like, you know, masturbate more and kind of like figure out what works to me. I was ordering toys, um, which is kind of embarrassing because I was hoping my parents didn't opened my package. But but like, I was ordering toys because I knew, like even before the surgery, that tooral stimulation was my thing. So I, um, I ordered toys and then I realized, Okay, I like the clip thing, but now let me try not let me try something with like insertion. So I

started getting vibrators for insertion. And once I did that, and then I made myself orgasm. There's no excuse as of why another person that I'm having sex with cannot make me. What about your ass? So because it looks because you know, when I got a big booty, you can tell even when they're sitting down, I can see it. You just I can see it. And so I'm interested in knowing because I'm sure somebody's wanted to suck you the ass. How do you feel like, how does it feel?

It is it still left and right side? How does that feel? Have you ever fingers? There's more nerve endings in in your asshole, in like your clear areas. So I definitely I've done an noble for so I have in like the same process, like you need to have lube, like you need to take it easy, like you don't want to go on full throttle. Um, I don't know. I can't really see that it's the same because I

feel like that area is more than I have more nerves. Yeah, so I don't know if it's the same as my vagina and like my my feeling being left and right, I'm not sure, but this is this is bullshit. Yeah telling me you're disabled. I'm able bodied and I'm not sucking in the ass on the regular, bro, why not? Like still okay? So like I sucked in the ass once, but I keep every time it happens, I don't try it because it's not a whole dick, it's like a tip.

So I feel like I'm not getting sucked me. I mean. The thing is you've never you have never been approached by someone or someone has never approached it in a way that you're comfortable, because once you do it, you're gonna want to say yeah, yeah, that might be it. Actually, had I thought you picked me, I'll do it right. Hey, I've never had a girl tell me she would pick me. I feel like you were just talking to this drama. We never talked about the traffic ones. No, actually they

weren't necessary. Also, we did have sex for three hours. I was exhausted. I thought my wrist was going to break out. Something that might help too, is a warming lube, something that's like stimulative, so you when you're like, first of all, I asked him, this is my show. I'm just saying. I just say I would to say because that's like for for me, like with simulation and a thing I realized like a warming loube definitely does help

me more. Um, is there any kind of products that you do use UM to help entice the feeling, Like do you use like theatoral Joel? I know, not not necessarily the gel, but I've gotten toys that I feel like definitely works best for me. So there's this one I got UM. I can't remember the name of it, but it's supposed to be a like flickering tongue, but it looks like a little tulip. So it's about the fun factory. That's um, I forget the name of it,

but it's about the fun factory. And it's split down the middle and the two flaps are like flickering back and forth with a vibration. So what I personally like to do is use it as um an insurgent because the way it curves, it can sit like on my clip and also be inserted as well too. It's kind of like my we've I feel yeah yeah, so it's I feel like that. That definitely was like I love that thing. Speaking of heightening things, what positions are best

for you and which are very difficult for you? Um, Missionary of Horse, Um, doggy, that's good that those are good. Um, doggy is good for you. Doggie is good. Um, and it's and it's doggy good because you can hold yourself with your arms and it feels more secure, Like why is doggie good? Kind of but I feel like my my pelvic floor drops more too, so I can feel more, but I can I can also take more to in doggy positions. Yeah yeah yeah, so yeah, now what what

is difficult? So on top I haven't really like figured that out as much yet as far as like me having control on top, because I feel like that's typically what that position is for, is you having that control. So usually if I am on top, the guy is doing the work. Yeah, he's doing Like now, do you use toys? Um, I've used toys, but for whatever reason, it's still doesn't work. They end up coming to you, guys because they get they they're feeling the vibration from

the toy too. I thought she was like using this time to have a humble flex like, I mean, I couldn't do this, so like one second, dick, right, Like, Okay, what's most comfortable for you? Because for me, I get on my knees when I'm giving a blowjob. Okay, but I'm very curious to know that when you give blow jobs, are you are they lying down? Are you? Like? How does that work out for you? Because you said that

you're able to move while you're holding onto things. Yes, so for me, I will either be on my side and basically kind of like over their waist. So wait wait, wait wait wait, So if they're laying this way, let's pretend Yeah, I'm gonna be the guy. So they're laying this way. Yes, you're laying on the side. Yes, but I put my arm over to the other side, and so put your arm. You're gonna rest your arm there. Yeah,

So that way I'm able to support myself. So if I get like, you know, tired or whatever, I'm resting my head and my my arm, like yeah, because I've been getting tired. And these bitches out here, yeah, their knees. You were doing it wrong. What I mean too much? That's a lot of words. So like I'll be wanting to like, you know, rest And have you ever gotten annoyed with how a guy was like trying to be too careful when they were sucking you and you're like,

god damn. Yeah. Yeah, it's annoying because they think they're gonna hurt me. That's that's another thing too, is like they don't want to hurt me, so they're like, is it am I doing? It's like is this okay? There has been and guys that don't think about that. And I have one guy that just like just yank my damn legs. I'm not Oh no, like like no, you

can't do that. My I have pins and rons in my spinal cords, so my back doesn't bend, so you try to bend my legs back like I'm literally about to be folded up like a lawn chair, like you can't, like you know, like so like when you're moving, you said your favorite position is from behind, So when you're turning around, right, you just said your back doesn't been too well, Like are you even communicating to let them

know how sensitive you are with certain things? Yeah, like I'll let them know like if that's not if it doesn't feel right or they're doing too much, Like yeah, I'm very very about that. But like the pre like talk, if they don't initiate it, I'm gonna see how well they listen to my body and what I say to them during sex um to that basically tells me whether

or not I'm gonna suck you again. Like if you if you're not that attentive enough to actually like make sure that you're you're not hurt, you're not hurting me, you're not um making me uncomfortable, then I'm kind of like, okay, I'll this is I want the sex, but also I'm probably not gonna suck you again now, So I think we went I don't know if we got sidetracked, but we talked about one night stand. So I'm curious to

know with Florida. By the way, there's some drinks over there and those cups if you want to be hospitable anybody, Um okay in Florida. I used to live in Florida and I lived there for eighteen years. We're like, oh, I'm sorry, twenty three years of my life, maybe more, I don't know. I can't add right now. So I've lived in a lot of exterior apartments. How many times have you wanted to go home with someone and they

had a second floor apartment and no elevator? And then when you gonna carry my own subd like if if you want this pussy, you're going to carry me up them downstairs, Like it's like like a dude like picking me up. Yeah, they do that, and then it'll be like that, and that that lets me know like how far man will go just to give fun low literally like they are literally physically exerting themselves to get pussy.

I mean, I haven't funked up people had to carry me up this Listen, that's a there's definitely a different level of fun up if you carry me up to flights the stairs. Now do you do you live with anyone? Do you do you live alone? Um? Is there certain things in your house that you need to be comfortable? Like what like what do you look for in front of frontment? Or like am I thinking too much? Are

we all thinking too much? For me, I don't need that much so but for other people, I can't say you know that My experience is you know the same as theirs. So for me, all I need is wide doorways, a light, low countertaps for me to reach stuff. Um. But then that as long as my bathroom is it sussed, my room is accessible, I'm good. It's literally just doorway

space and no steps at all. So in the dating profile, and I want you to be honest, I feel like a lot of women kind of bullshit with their bodies. For example, they use pictures of like their face and maybe not the rest of it to let you know

they look. Have you ever had a time because you seem very confident right now to me in this moment, but also almost thirty, have never been a time where you've only used your face and not told people you had a chair in fear that they I've done it all, so I had to It was to the point where I had to do my research if other people were experiencing the same thing that I was experiencing. So I went through the first stage of posting the wheelchair first like a photo of me and the wheelchair, um, and

then face pictures and then maybe another wheelchair pick. I won't say anything in the profile, but you can see the damn chair in the pictures, so they'll swipe right and then they'll message me or whatever, and I'm you get to the point where like, okay, do you want to hang out? Like what are you about to do? And I had to make a like I had to double check to make sure that they saw that I use a chair. Don't tell me somebody I can, yes, yes, yes, yes.

They will literally be like you can see when you got a cock sucking wheelchair. I'm literally sitting in ship. Let me show you just up and down that profile. How tall they am? Yeah, I'm like, are you serious? Like I'm literally sitting in my my wheelchair and this is like one of the pictures that I use on my profile in general, Like yeah, you see see the wheels, And I'm like, why would I be sitting in front

of the fucking mirror. So then they got to the point where I was like, okay, they're not paying attention. Let me yeah, y yeah, I'm looking at your ask so much. I don't know where. He says, Okay, you're out in the party, like we see the full visual, like we see the rim, but see there. I don't see no spit vinnors. I'm looking at it, and I'm just like okay. So then then I thought, okay, maybe maybe maybe the chair is not, you know, as prominent

in the pictures as they need to be. So then I started putting in my profile, um, if you have an issue with me using a chair, don't even bother swiping right. But yes I use a wheelchair, do not swipe right if that bothers you, exactly, So they don't read. So I'm like, I can't win for losing, like y'all,

it's just so I hear you in the profile. I used to something else trump, I took that off, and I then I put if you're on that all Lives Matter ship, And I was talking to a guy for weeks that later said, oh, I went to look on your Tinder profile to show my friends a picture you and why do you have this? And I'm like, you've been in my house with Malcolm X pinchers on the wall, and now you want to go, yeah, that was too niggerish for you today. Stop dating guys. I should. That's

how me and you matched on Tinder. And by the way, I haven't a white guy the last two dicks. Wait, the last dick, so it's like last half. No, I'm gonna tell you. I don't know what it is that's clicking to me that like I just can't do it anymore anywhere forever. But I'm not right now. My white friends are like that, you gotta stop now. I feel like it's just like I had to stop too. I'd like right there with you. I'm just really sensitive in this climate. Why don't you say that when like you

what we do. I'm curious because I know the last guy you dated you felt like he wasn't I hate the word woke out socially conscious enough for you. You said that that really bothers you when you guys watched your white people. Now, now, how do you feel about it now, about him specifically, or about like dating white guys? When do you find that just that there are way better ones out there than other ones. I don't know

how else to say that. Like right now, my partner is wonderful and he is extremely socially conscious and even if you know you grow up with certain things, and he still will say some ship and I'll just check him real hard and he's like, cool, got it? Have you had? I've always wanted to ask you. I remember telling someone about you and your party, right, and he's like, like Indian she is, and I'm like, well, half, but I mean I'm so confused. She looks, and I like, yeah,

I don't know about it. I feel like like it to me like you look in maybe I'm confused with in me in the East West, but like, yeah, what happens? Do you ever have like guys who are like, oh my god, my first need? Oh no? If that ever fucking happened to me, I don't know what I would do because I have found that a lot of times people will tell me I'm there first something not. But it's bothered me so much now. And I think men that typically like me typically have dated other women who

are like me. What's the good point? Like they like you look at their past history and they're all like some something of something. Yeah. So I'm trying to think of some final thoughts because I know, I feel like this is such an important episode and I don't want to let the hour go by and someone's like, how the fund? Could you have not asked her? That does anyone in the room. We have a few people in the room have a question that you think I missed

or that you're wondering right now. You guys are a little like you weren't here the whole time, but well, would yeah tell it sounds like the ground rate I walked in late. I'm sorry, it's okay here. Your episode isn't coming yet. Do they how do they eat your ass? No? No, we answered the basic question, what do you no? No, no, whole thing. That's a good question with me, like being able to do doggie, like I can get on all fours? Oh oh, so so Loki asked how do they eat

Ashley's ass? And it's funny because I wanted to talk about oral sex, but I was kind of thinking, like you on your back? Yeah, yeah, but like are you feeling so you get on all fours? That is that what you prefer when someone's going down to you not necessarily that, but if someone wanted to eat my ass, that that will be the position because when you were saying your legs, yeah, I have to put them to yeah,

exactly exactly by masks eaten all for too. So yeah, I just feel like you have like access to both easily so you can go back and for b. So, yeah, have you ever had sex with someone that was disabled?

To know, I wanted to ask that question. Yeah, I'm I think that that would not was harder, I want to say necessarily harder, but you that definitely will have more of a dialogue prior to having sex because we need to know what each person is able to do and what works for them versus what works for me. So I think with with having sex with another person that is they say disabled, definitely there would be more a dialogue before sex. Have you ever been attracted to

someone who's there for me? There? Because I was wondering that, like I feel like there might be a community or like some kind of Facebook or anything, right, And so that's what made me wonder if you've ever met someone that you've been into and it's never it's never been like on a community type thing. It'll just be like out in public because okay, being that I am from Jacksonville, like I'm usually like I still got like a sore thumb, so I'm usually the only person in that area that

had that uses a wheelchair. So when I when you say that area, but do you I do want to ask do you get to black club? Specifically? Do you get to a certain like are you in a certain group? I've been too, so I feel like people like see you when they know that you're Yeah, I don't want to say it the pretty girl in the chair? Yeah, yeah that I've gotten that since high school, Like I went,

I went to a predominantly black high school. It's a huge high school, but I was the only person in the wheelchair, so I was known as the pretty girl in the wheelchair. I hate that ship And the only reason why I hated at that time is because that the fact that um other girls shooting me like ship because of that. Yeah is yeah, because listen, not only did I have to deal with colorism, I had to

deal with able is m as well. So you're not only light skinned, you are what I guess traditionally pretty. Why you use a wheelchair like that, bitch ain't better than me, like she in a wheelchair like what like, Yeah, it was that that mentality that I kind of had to deal with throughout high school. Sitting here in my mouth because people blow my fond yea, even even as a kid, I feel like I had empathy. I don't feel like that took me time to learn at all.

So it just really fucking blows my mind. I'm sure someone told you, like fuck you, like, yeah, you think you're pretty like you because you're in this. I had a dude recently. He's a local repriangle say no names in Jacksonville. Do I know what it is? You might? I don't know. He's a Jacksonville rapper though. Anyways, he had been hitting me up for longest on Facebook like he but it'll be like that, it's not poking anymore. They wave at your ass. So he'd be waving one

of things yeah, just like yeah, yeah right. So I got to the point where I'm like, yo, like stop waving at me. If you want to speak speak, stop doing that ship. So it was like a little small talk of what I'm like, why you hit me up? You fine? I'm like, okay, what else? Like is that? It? Like is that all you gotta say. So we got to the point where he kept doing that, and then he actually asked me to come over, and I was like,

I know what you're trying to do. Like you're used to getting bitches, you know, dropping a dime on you. Whenever you say come through, they come through. I'm not that bitch. So, yes, you're attractive. All I know about you is that you do music. That's it. I need some type of like it, like dialogue, like stimulate my damn mind first song. I mean, has has anyone ever said to you that, like you're lucky because you're pretty, Like it would be a lot harder for you to date.

It's still been. I mean, I feel like it's I don't pretty. I feel like it's would be difficult. Yeah, it is because they are single right now? Are Yeah, I'm single. I'm I'm dating, but I'm definitely single. Um. I think a lot of what has happened is they, like I said before, they liked the idea of me, so they'll get into it and don't realize his word. Then now it ain't even work. They ain't gotta do ship. You don't gotta do ship for me. They don't have

to do a damn thing. It's all about image. It's literally all about image. I was dating a guy i'll say about three or four years ago, and I realized after the fact, like he posted his previous girlfriends on social media, he posted girls after me on social media and never posted me. Yeah, so it's like me kind of like taking into count Like, Okay, some guys are going to feel shame. Well what is What it is is that it's not necessarily them. They're they're probably okay

with you know, me being in a chair. It's what they think society would think about them by dating someone in the share Society will say like, oh, you're a pervert, like you're taking advantage um all these Yeah, you can't give un Yeah yeah, because people would think like the pretty men in this room, I'll tell you right now, they've all checked you. They how Um I guess my last question before we get into homemail. Um, how is it? I don't know right now, like currently dating, Like you've

learned that this has happened. Is there anything that you won't take? Are there things that you're willing to work through? Like what are the things that are like absolute knows for you? When it comes to like men, and I think at this point, um, I really don't. It's not even with the me in a chair. It's men that will say to me that they've never been with the black girl before. So as soon as I get that, I'm like, like, I don't want to hear that ship.

I don't want Yeah, it is gross, but what's crazy with black men they seem to enjoy that. I feel like there's a white woman who comes to them and says, I've never been Obviously, I'm not speaking for all, but I can only speak for my experiences with asking that question of fetishizing. I feel like black women constantly have that question to ask and they feel so disrespected by And I can completely understand why I've been offended by questions things like that. But with men, they're like conquer

the white girl type of thing. It's fucking porn. I'm telling you, it's like all the way that porn has rewired our brains because that's that is such a fucking storyline in porn and things that you see played out all the time, and it sucks, but that kind of porn is marketed towards young men, and then they're seeing it and then they're wanting to act that out. You can't come to something a bunch of times and then not like, you know, I have any kind of like

mental affiliation. I don't know if I but I think I hear you because it's you don't want anybody to come on your face. Yeah, but not like twenty people. It doesn't have to be twenty people. Oh I definitely want someone to come on my face. Yeah, So where you think you learned that from? You came out the wound being like, yeah, I want everybody come on my face. So you're saying blue Cockey made me want facials. The porn you watch has absolutely relatism too, the things that

you like. I don't need you to read me right now. I have my own therapist. It doesn't even have to be that that extreme though. I think a lot of men learn how to fun from porn. I don't know how from porn, but come on, but I feel like it's it's different when you are actually like having like

sex with someone. The mannerisms, the things that they say, like there's no telling if I'm actually gonna like you talking to me, calling me a bit or splut or whatever, like, but because they washed us have a porn they think that that that's what bites why like that. I'm going to say this actually in my next episode, I want to discuss a little bit like women feeling guilty for enjoying those things as well. So for whole mail, I have one that I did pick for you and one

for you. So the one I picked for you. Um, yes, So I've always known you to be Polly. You've always told me that, um, and I remember being very confused because when you and I first met and like so to speak, dating right and going out, you invited me out with your boyfriend at the time, and I remember being jealous. Remember we went on to them because in restaurant,

because I wanted to be with you alone. But I also had to understand, like if I want to date you, he's got to be okay with this, and I was very confused with how it would work. So I want you to kind of just maybe just run us through Polly. But this is a question about it. Um, Hey, ladies, how are you doing. I'm writing to say thank you and asked for more details. I've recently realized that I'm one maybe by I've only had one woman partner and I don't mind having a relationship with her. Two that

I can be happy only in a Polly relationship. The woman I'm with is still married and her husband doesn't know about us, and at least not yet according to her. I'm currently dating men, but if things don't work between the woman and I, I feel like I'd be open to having relationship with another woman. I know it's not

just sex, it's more of the connection with someone. When I came to the realization that I'm okay with being in the Polly lifestyle, I quickly went to the episode that I first heard with details about on episode thirty four with King Noir. I was my favorite when I first heard it last year, and now I have a clear vision. Well anymore? Will you have any more Polly Lifestyle couples or guests in the show? What are some advice to newbies in the Polly world I'm dating, I

would love some advice. When's a good time to bring up on Polly um and how do I deal with the girl and her husband? A lot of questions there, but first of all, what is probably and what are what's the advice you have for Nubi in the Polly World? So polly um. Polyamorous is kind of an all encompassing word, and then you bring into words like open relationships and non monogamy, and they all mean kind of the same thing because I can I tell you what I think

and I want you to correct me. I don't tell people I'm Polly because I don't really care to have a relationship between all of us. I say I'm more non monogamous because I'm okay with you having sex with someone else, but I don't necessarily want all of us to connect. Is that right? So there's aspects of that, and like the thing is, like none of them have

a very defined like terminology. Polly just means that you are open to being in love with more than one person or having love feelings for more than one person. Love is the main thing then, so amorous, right that that's like okay, yeah, but that's kind of like that has like the you know that word love in it, But that doesn't mean that everybody involved has to be in love with each other. Wan they call it polygamy, and it's not like, yeah, I got a sister, but

we don't love each other. I don't know. Let me pull out my Latin you right now and go through all of these terms. But it just means that like you are you yourself are open to having to being having love with more than one person. Doesn't mean that everybody involved has to be in love. It has like it doesn't matter like a triad, quadruple, you know, anything like that. It just means like you could potentially fall in love with more than one person. It doesn't even

mean that you are. You could be in love with one person and having sex with five other people and not be in love with them and still say, but I would be open to falling in love with another person. So it just means that, like the love is more apart open relationships. There's all kinds of different aragements in that. What about the her saying what is she saying there that I'm getting stuck? Oh? How do I tell people? So?

I mean, for me, honestly is the best policy? And you don't want to start going down a road with someone who doesn't want that whatsoever? Are you talking about it on the first date? Yeah? Are you putting it in the dating profile? I was, It was in my

dating profile. Um. I think that the more open you are with those things about yourself, the more, you're going to attract in people who are going to fulfill that part of you, and you shouldn't be trying to bring in people and then convince them of this other thing. Believe me, I've tried. It doesn't work. And like you may think that it's something that everybody is really interested in, but it's not, and it really can freak people out and it can do all types of things to relationships.

And so being forthright with that in the very beginning, I think it's very important because someone saying you're an attracting the energy that you're putting out, so you're Polly, how many people are you dating right now? One? Okay? Asking you never text me anymore? We are going out on Wednesday together? But are you going out on wedn to talk about porn? So? Yeah, we got invited to an event by Erica Lust. I don't know if you've heard of her. She's a porn director, but she only

does um covinist porn and like user submitted porn. So I'm really excited. I want you to come because obviously you're a sucking porn theater ou um okay, So I know we don't have too much time for the next question. But I want to thank you Ashley, And how would you would you be open to people sending in questions? Yeah, so, like I don't want to just put out her email or something like that. Are we cool with giving out your grahams because I know y'all want to know what

she looks like. And they're gonna take a picture together so you'll see it. But I know they're sucking. One question somebody asked you in his room was on the down, what's your graham? So my m is at SILSA so s I h L s A. So it's basically a s H O I S spelled backwards. What it is? That's Ashley with an elaspace? Yeah, got it? Yeah? So yeah, definitely go if you're in Jacksonville and maybe you know you want to take her on on a lovely day

or from somewhere else. And she says she travels a lot, so and I should, Like, I want you guys to keep posted with I mean, keep updated with her page. I know I'll definitely become into her grand opening of the Portant Cinema. Maybe we can make it a horrible night. Told them where to find you, even though you're very bad at Instagram. I am very bad at Instagram, and I keep getting shut down because I'm posting filthy as pictures on my ship and they don't want anyone who's

like talking about female sexuality posting their stuff. But if you all want to see some dirty pictures, you can find me at UM the Violet Underscore b K. Okay, I'm gonna post both of those. Two guys can check them out. UM, when do you think you're cinema be open? So that's definitely coming late, but I have all kinds of pop ups and coming going. Okay, I'm excited, so

we can definitely all go to one together. You guys, if you enjoyed this episode, UM, please leave some comments on iTunes that you're happy with it instead of how much we sucked it. Come check out me and Jesse Winds also talk eleven seventeen in Miami and twelve uh eight in Atlanta. And I'm hoping by the time this airs that Andrew Gillen is governor of Florida, because that's what I say, That's what I said needs to happen in order for us to come to Orlando. So crossing my fingers, UM, Yeah by Hi