Ep62: Feminism And Kanye Feat Jamilah Lemieux

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And for the merchandise that you guys are seeing on our Instagram page, we will have T shirts available for sales, so they will be available in white or black. Um. It is only wall items last, so come early get your T shirts and we are super excited to see you guys in Atlanta. Um. And now welcome yet again to another episode Guys of Horrible decisions. This is a girl Mandy B and girl super hot girl. We are joined by such a beautiful woman. I've been talking her

on Instagram. I've been like, can you come this week? Can you come this week? Can you come to se And finally we got her in, so can you buy? Let's just started off with that. Do you like women? Look? Here we go? Can you stop throwing your pussy to everybody I'm throwing I'm trying to look out for you. I got this. You ain't gotta word about me, You ain't gotta word my emoji game strong under them pictures.

But do you want to go ahead and introduce yourself to our listeners and let them know who you are and what you do? Sure? Hillou know, my name is Jimmie little mu Um. I'm a writer and a cultural critic and VP of programming. What's a cultural touch critic? Cultural credit? So she canceled people, That's what Van later was like. So she basically canceled. Van always says, and I'm like, I actually don't. I'm always doing like that.

We don't canceled like, well, we canceled Kanye. But it's like you it has to be like it's just like, all right, So there's like she's like, Jamala, Okay, Jamila, what you're about to say about Kanye? You're telling me that everybody knows how much I love him? You about tell me were not canceled this because still listen. Okay, you know what. You don't like the word woke, But I was trying to tell you I do hate the word. I think it's embarrassing. He say, why she not canceling Kanye?

So think back to what years in school? Right? You like high school? You get like a detention, you get maybe get a warning, you get attention, you get into suspension, get out of school suspension. Then you get expelled, right So like she said, you skipp into the expulsion too quick. So no, no, no, no no, So I wouldn't say that he's expelled, but he got to be at a whole other school for a minute, and maybe he can

come back. Like he's not done forever. But like you got a lie, you gotta do summer school, you gotta do exact, taken to jail, You smoke weed outside, You go to jail for a few days, maybe get a ticket, you kill somebody. We ain't never gonna see you again. This motherfucker said slavery was a choice? Are we not done? Yeah? I'm done. I'm done with I guess with the asterisk by it that like if you came back and said everything I said was wrong, I was fucked up on

cocaine or I was I suspect. You know, I'm not making any allegations. I'm just saying that his speech patterns are like that. This episode is coming out on What Made fourteen? So who knows what else do right by now? But I don't know if you're a listener of the show, But I am obsessed with Kanye right me and Alex both we went to a fucking Kanye art show on Saturday right before he said that slavery was a choice. Thing thought. I thought you were getting ready to say,

you're not. You can't cancel him, you can't cancel I'm not even gonna lie. I thought she was going to be super like I know Kanye did this, but four Kanye, because she's upset so much easy Verge. I cut it up on live I said that was one of those who videotaped themselves crying on Instagram. I'm gonna tell you what I didn't because I'm not a hype beast, but I'm not about to sit here and wear that make America again. And everybody knows I have mad easy ship on my page and I don't ever want to be

associated with it again. So whether it's called a hype beast or not, I'll jump on the team of not working with Trump and fucking with black people and there I don't funk with him at all right now. Like I only like he can come back if he appolot. He has to say everything I said was wrong. Here's how you know whether it's just I was wrong or something was wrong with me. But you have to like disavove but the narcissist. So I don't think that narcissists

admit to be. He tried to red nig you know what I'm saying once Van called him out, which is why I kind of upset me when I just got it. Did you see the video after and it was like, it doesn't matter, you needed to say something to me. And you know who really pissed me off, the black dude with the dreads from jams TMZ Charles. His face should have been a fucking meme. Yeah it wasn't. You should have jumped and you sat here with y'all black ass and let him do the ship? Don't how many

white people watch TMZ? Do you know any white people can't wait to fucking say? I mean, dude, even Kanye said, you guys just I was sitting there like where's Van? Because I didn't know, like I have been offline for a while, so maybe it had been up for like an hour before I saw it, So like I'm just watching Harvey and you know, and and Charles and Kanye, and just like I said, wait, I'm looking at I was like, you're not going to react, like you're not, like,

why are you not? Like matter? He's black, right, he's blind. But it's an interview and you have to realize, although we like cutting motherfucker's off, you gotta let people talk. Otherwise they wouldn't have gotten what they got from Kanye had he interrupted him, Okay, had like Kanye shoot himself and the fan wasn't more um what passed around clip than the rest of the ship was Van going off, more people talking about that, I guess he would have got that go ahead. What did you guys see how

they cut it up? Though? Yeah, that's what it is yeah. But when he said the um slavery was a choice. In the longer version, he clarifies mental enslavement. Stop stops. You're telling me how do you get mentally enslaved? Do you think they did that by choice? By sitting there and watching people revolt and then then they caught slaves and raped and killed them and sucked their wives in front of people. Do you think we mentally were just We could have broke free from that, but that was

a choice. Did you see the Charlemagne Charlomagne? That's what I'm saying. He speaks about it. I read no, I read the clothes, and it's still the word choice. Why would you do it again? Why would he say it again? Slavery? You know, like we're not talking about like being captured, right, We're not talking about like what could you have done at the point where they showed up? You know what

I mean? You're saying like people that were here, we're supposed to in a foreign land where they don't know how many white people they're surrounded by, they don't know what they mean, They can't like religion is sitting there telling you don't understand anything. These are people that are uneducated.

Let's not talk about you know, we're not not educated, but they could not speak the language of this land, and they didn't know this, you know what I mean in terms of what they You weren't educated enough to know what to do. I mean, we can all agree with that, right, I mean, sure, it's not like they weren't capable of that. But when you're literally kept from learning how to read, how can you formulate any how can you formulate this plane to leave without being scared?

And many of them did, you know what I mean? Like there was they were and they were met with violence. Like for every Harriet Tubman, there scores other that tries, you know, like they're the idea that we were just happy on the plane. You know, I'm happy in the house, so I'm happy on the plantation, or like, well it's just sad, we're just gonna be. That's not who our

people were. And I just hate anytime somebody and you know, obviously Kanye does it on a way worse level, but just you know, even hearing kids talk sometimes like there's there's some shame around slavery and we should be embarrassed, but we think of them. It's just like victims. But it's like, no, you you didn't die, like enough of you survived that we're here, We're still here, like y'all were heroes. Like the numbers. You don't think about the numbers.

I swear to God, let me tell you how hard it was from I have sold to pay for a Kanye concert when I was in college. So you guys maybe can't understand. I mean, if you listen, you know how much I love Kanye. But I've used my money to fucking support this motherfucker's so giving up my things to support him. Do you know what I feel like right now? I'm so embarrassed. I had no choice but to be a fucking hype piast, so you say, and cut up ship and asked for a dick sucking squad

for for Van because he does. I almost thought when I saw that Kanye clip, I was like, I can't funk my boys. I was never like a huge fan of Kanye, so it didn't like resonate to me the same. I mean, of course what he said, definitely, I was just like this motherfucker, but I was never that much of a fan. Like to me, if Jake Cole would have came out and said some like this it hurts, so I can I guess I can see. But I think Jake Hoole is way more woke than that. But Jack,

you know, but I think you know. And I'm from Chicago, you know, I know like I am, and so I have like I have a certain The first time I saw big Men to perform, he was in high school, like it was a south By Southwest because he was in this band called Kids these Days, and so they're like, I'm in my mid twenties and he was like eighteen somewhere, an interesting kid I've never I don't know him, you know,

but we have people in common. But he just reminds me so much of the neighborhood where we grew up. I'm like, people think that there's something we're going on, Like, no, he is such a high park as artsy boy, Like he is exactly creative. I got a thing for creatives right now. Like I've just realized that every guy I deal with this like covered with tattoos and can't really speak very well. But um, anyways, we're gonna tattoos can't

talk shi. So what we like to do when we have guests, Um, and we haven't done this in a while because y'all have been having all these episodes with just me wheezy. But we do icebreakers. So with icebreakers, we kind of like to break the ice. Um and so fuck you, I didn't know do it we do because that was not implied. Fuck you? Um, we liked. What we're gonna do this episode is we're gonna have

two questions for would you rather? Um? So the first question being that we are all women, and this is a conversation we haven't yet really had on the show. I wanted to ask, would you rather get come in your hair after you just finished styling it? Or right in your eye? And I know this is the point for black girls. We don't like it not half sucked up? You would do hair over your eye? Well, I guess I makes it ever had to come in your eye?

I mean it makes it like a pink eye. But you could say pink eye, You got pink I if it's I want to look contagious, or just get you get flakes like white flakes? If that coan? You can that mean getting my hair? Weghing really the greatest tragedy so freshly, But I mean I have natural hair, so like even freshly style. It's like so, I mean, I guess okay, So if I got it pressed out, pressed out, I still don't want in my eye like you said, like if you got a pink guy, dude, have you salt?

I've never had it, and I mean, come that I'm just swallowing. Don't taste like nothing. So I don't think he come would taste like anything. But it's still is there a lot of salt in it? If it doesn't take my eyes, I don't want anything in my eye period. Okay, so we're taking the hair. I'd rather you come on my shirt and I'd have to wear a stain for the rest of the day that you come in my eye. People like, damn, you got pink. I no, it's just coming.

You know. You don't say it's gonna be like damn, man, but it's contagious, pink, contous. Okay, okay, nigg is come in our hair, don't come in our eye. You said, what's a great question, what's the problem. I was really thinking about my hair being done because I used to be one of those like my hair done, what you're doing, calm down, just put a hair bad on. You got sunglasses inside like it's a little fright. I gotta put a shower cap on that when I fun, bitch, you

asked him niggas to aim. Okay, okay, sometimes you're on. If you can't get it, you're only gonna get titties. If you want faith, you beat below the brow. I don't know. So this is my next question, Um, would you rather date someone who takes five seconds to come

or who takes at least five hours to come? And I asked because I just had this talk on my Instagram life and um, so for the people that don't know, I've been working with the same guy since November, just recently had new dick, um, and that new Dick took forty minutes in real life to come. And I was, this isn't sex minutes, this is real life minutes. So in six minutes it felt like five hours. Um, And I just was really just like, I think I would kind of rather nigga come fast than do like it.

It's a lot. So I wanted to know what you guys want, would y'all Rather than they can take a long time to come or come fast, I'm gonna go fast and just do something else. Well, yeah, so like fast if he can get it back up again, you know, because the thing is like, I'm thirty three, so like my sex drive is really high, you know, and like and there. I love how she threw that in there. So it's very you heard them. I'm beautiful. I'm a VP right right, Well, I'm most perfect, but I have

a kid. Sorry, I'm just kidding. That makes me more. Actually, I just sucked somebody baby mama, so I think I'm down for Why are you get that? I know I said on a recent episode. I didn't. I don't like sucking um girl women who have kids, she would mean, but but I didn't. Just suck someone with kids and it was fine, So I think I changed my mind. Girl might want to wait, fans made what are you single? Yes? I am. I thought she was working on fans. You

better because I'm on this already, So back up. I'm not not saying anyone, but I'm not in an exclusive relationship. That's right. The best way to say so, both of you, both of y'all say though you would rather a nigga come fast thing, Well, if he can't the thing, if he can, if he can get back up, if it's just like who I'm tired that a lot of them are like that. So like the long thing, it went like I like to have sex for a long time. It wouldn't bother me. That breaks, you know what I mean?

Playing between we can watch watching the Marrow and then fun. That's my routine right now. Well he came like so the guy that I was working like, he had me in every position, like to where he had me ride dick like for different ways. Was it the first time you have text? Um, don't bring this up. It wasn't. It wasn't ask you because maybe he was trying to press you know, we eight years ago, but you know

long ago. He don't. He didn't remember. We ain't remember. Well, I remember sucking, but I didn't bring it up because the first time it happened. Why was he trying to impress me? It's the first time? Well, I don't think so, because we know. You know why I want to say this? Can you know why I want to say this? No? Real quick, there is no impressing when we sucked three times, So I ended up saying at his house for like

damn near twenty four hours. We sucked three times. Each time we sucked those three times, he lasted the same amount of time. I then went over his house two days later and we sucked again, and then had a threesome. And when we had the threesome, he lasted the same amount of time. Then we sucked in the morning. He his baby mama. But we're not gonna talk. Why do we This is than a fucking religios dude, only the section? Sorry it just can you interview with me? Story? So

this is the nigga? Why up to the block that motherfucker out? Don't bring up all the details? Bro? Okay, So you feel does he now know that he sucked you eight years ago? Because I didn't bring up the last time because it wasn't a good run. We didn't have a podcast. M hm. No, I don't know. But she was their relationship. Um, he's she's his first baby mama. We're not going to talk about the amount that he has. Can y'all not judge me? But yeah, he's she's his

first baby mama. Um. And yeah they have a few kids together. But they're no longer together. Girl, Please, No, they're not any longer together together enough they're still they'll have sex. I mean, I don't know how often. I don't think it was. He sucked you two days before his eight MoMA and she was that down. They still don't ny I wouldn't care. I mean, she's not the plus one you are, Yeah, but actually I didn't feel

that way. So he didn't kiss her or eat her pussy the whole time, but he kissed me, and which made me kind of feel uncomfortable really because I thought I was the plus one, but I didn't feel like the plus one at all. And when he had talked about his relationship with her, I don't think like he would never be back with the intimacy. Wasn't there that I would have expected to be there if I was the plus one. So I mean it was fun well for y'all because y'all looking ready? What did you say?

Because I wanted a three cements so I've been wanting the three three to her too. She was very pretty. I mean I didn't know what she looked like until they came and picked me up in real life. I don't even ask for a picture because he, like you on Instagram? Was good? Shut the fuck up? No, it was fun. You know what this is? This is man

mad weight. She want to show that body. You know you do and this is very like I just got it, like whoever wants to see Well, I've been so so this is the thing that knew me for show, bitch, I'm trying to get some out. But um no, I've been wanting to have a threesome with seven but the last time I had I'm not emotional. Bit The problem

is he wants me to bring in a girl. The last time that I brought one of my friends into a threesome with this nigga who was dropping that fire as dick, she like went behind my back on the Instagram and they that matter. She no, because that's my dick, bitch. That's why I don't want my friends like at the time she was a close friend. So I don't want my friends sucking my consistent dick, especially when you're local. No,

it's not's not me being emotional at all. This is my dick, and you know that this is who I have consistently. Not only that, I don't want to bring in a local bitch because then she may be starting to take I don't need my days taken away from me like no, so that but it was a good point. Fuck you. I don't let's get back to the baby mama drama. It's no, I'm not gonna. Don't you want to hear them up because I don't only because I had I don't you know, I don't like those terms.

But I have a baby daddy, and I like, I adore him. We have a wonderful relationship. He's married. I love, you know, his wife. She and I have gay friends. I could not fathom, even if she were in the picture, wanting to like, we're just so not that that's that's why. Well she loved his dick. It was it was good. I can't even hold you like if me and say seven were to have kids and we're not together, that dick is so baby mama. Before he picked you up, Yeah,

he told me his baby mama. I trusted him. I said, well, she looked like she said, she's pretty well long hair. I said, okay, I didn't. And I don't know how it was fun. I just like it just happened out his sister wives. I wouldn't mind that situation. He got, he got money, we're rich. How many guest passes they got to the games. This is what I'll be talking about in season. We're not worried about guest passes. Um. Anyways, we're gonna go ahead and get into our finilship for

this episode. Y'all ship, y'all really are just not shipped like and you know it was. I had a great time. Um fuck y'all sit my god damn smoothie. Um. Anyways, guys, so we're gonna go onto our vanilla ship. As you guys know, we choose an article, um and which talks about some things that are going on and you know, god damn society. Sometimes it has to do with sex,

sometimes it doesn't. This specific one because we have another woman in the house and we haven't had a woman guest in a while, have we Not that I can email guests, we just literally had, did we Yeah, Jesse, oh okay, we were we were okay, but those were okay with both of us. So, UM, I wanted to bring this up. We haven't really had the discussion about it, and a lot of our listeners say that we dropped the ball in by not discussing it. So I kind of wanted to bring up this topic. Um. It is

about the me too movement. Um. We kind of talked about this a little bit before, so Russell Simmons. As you guys know, he recently UM was char with a sexual assault allegation. UM. And it's odd because he has come forth issuing statements that he's now supporting the me too movement? Can you turn this off? Oh, she has a vibrator going on, bro, It's a vibrator that she

hasn't used yet. UM. Anyway, So I wanted to kind of have the discussion with you guys if you feel that a guy who has sexually assaulted a female in any way possible, UM, if he can kind of support this type of movement or what what do you think of a guy who does no. I mean, this isn't like this is like George Zimmerman coming out for Black Lives Matter, you know what I'm saying. It's because he's like, we're in the middle of it. We're not talking about

years later. I've been in therapy because that was the story investigations. I think it's it's almost a UM. I don't know if like his PR team made him do something like this. Every big mockery out of these women, absolutely, and just the moment and just that you think you're so arrogant to think that you're a necessary voice right now.

I think the thing is he would have he played himself, because early on, when the allegations started, you know, the first two, he responds with like, you know, I'm sorry for anyone that I've heard, you know, basically kind of like I never thought i'd done something like this, but I was young, I drugs. I'm a very different person now, So anyone who I may have heard unintentionally blah blah blah,

I'm sorry. And so then as the allegations started piling up, that's when he's like he tried to do the hashtag not me remember, and he believe any social for a minute, like all his accounts were because it was really quick, because he had a whole like and as soon as he had accuses, he like stepped down from his position. That was also a pr was like, you're taking this break from your you know, you can't be a public

figure right now. You can't be leaving these companies. You're gonna go work on you and figure this stuff out. And then as they started to come on, I guess after a while he was like, no, not all of these people are telling the truth, and I want to, you know, tell hi outside of the story, not me, you know. And then he started to kind of imply that he hadn't really done anything too wrong to anyone.

It just it was a bad one. Like I feel like he might have been going without his PR team before and now there might be someone trying to help that out a bit. But I just it's you know, what he needs to do right now is sit down, be quiet, um, get some help for things. And I think it's crazy too because he is a man who has two daughters or maybe is it three. I mean, he has a lot of kids. I don't think well

for him to have daughters. And I say that because he actually brought up his daughters in a post in saying this, Um, he said, shout out to black women just because um. He paid tribute to black women who have bared the biggest burden and the unequal treatment of women of all races and religions, and suggested that without guidance from the family enforces, then men will destroy the planet. Right, it's just right wire you talking that a few weeks ago,

So shut up. It's just that's your take on this. Do you feel do you feel like maybe it's something that he just shouldn't even be talking about Yes, yes, agreed, right, you shouldn't be talking Can you just imagine It's like Snoop Dogg starts telling us, like from a from a lighter scale, starts telling us that weed is bad for you. I should not let's talk about snows for a minute because wait, the Snoop allegations against him. No, but but and I know I'm a little bit older, thank you all.

But like I remember Snoop at the MTV Awards with the two women on chains like dogs write like you know, was known as a pimp right like during his and has talked about it because I remember he did, like girls can a lot of stuff and I'm not saying that that, I'm not criticizing it might not have been girls going well, but he did some sort of porn kind of where he was hosting not you know, and

I'm not judging that stuff. But I remember him talking about pamping, you know, and so I'm like, if you were actually an active pamp to things that you did to women and girls, you don't have any row. And he and I know that he's been going in on Kanye. I know that he's had this kind of race consciousness things going for a while, and I appreciate that, but I'm like, where are you going to deal with your gender stuff? You know, like when are you like, like,

when are we going to talk about that? Make them? I'm not saying like Sloop you have to be canceled forever because at this point, look you're doing a cooking show with Martha Stewart, Like there's no there's also something about just like how you know, brilliantius they talked about rape culture, how they didn't know and how Russell said it was years ago. There was also something that I think was more so widespread and more mainstream dieties acceptable

as far as the treatment of women years ago. Absolutely, and I don't necessarily know if these men would do that today. But there's another thing to be said though about a persona right, So like the girls unchained at an awards show, it's this like I'm Snoop Dogg. It's like this lavish sub play. Whatever the pimp thing even I think, well no, but he was claimed to have actually had women in his stable, that he was a pimp. But it was a thing that was so fucking cat

williams um, what was it do? That was on next Friday that was next to him, Magic Mike or something, Magic mic something like that. All of these dudes were like it was like to boast and brag about it made it fucking cool. But I only wanted to be with pimps. Actually, we have an episode coming out with a girl named Ali x x X. I didn't know this, but I kind of assumed that there had to have been something good about being with a pimp, So I asked her. She was a former escort. I said, does

it give you safety? Like broken woman? You know what I'm saying, Like, does it give you safety? Does it like does he stand by you? Does he make sure that the men are like screen or something like that. She's like, no, they literally take your money. Women just

want to have someone. But I think also when you we're looking back into the hip hop culture and how they did women, um tip Drill was one of the most like iconic videos and if we progress and I don't think but even looking back at that video, Okay, Alex, don't be over there reminiscent now because stuff. But the thing is, so I don't think I like stripper culture. I don't think there's any I like strippers you know, I'm saying I've never thought anything was wrong with stripping.

The problem is not the dancer system men, right, So like people talk about like, oh, she's a dancer or

she does sex work. Clearly no dad, no self esteem, no goals, no educate, all these things that are oftentimes, you know, arguably more often than not wrong, right, Like many of them brilliant girls where they go to college or not right, many don't have great relationships with their families and they this is what they wanted to do, or and maybe they don't, maybe they don't love it, but they're like, it's a job in the same way do you love cooking fries? Do you love And it's

the closest thing to sales work, you know. But but what stripper that you really don't want to dance for you and you spend their money like you spend your money on them. They'd be like, come on, Like the problem is that there are so many men who don't know how to respect women period. Right. So it's like I don't think that if he says, well, you treat a housewife like a housewife and a hooker like a hooker, that that don't don't think he respects the housewife, right, like,

don't think that for a minute. Like if you don't see the ability of us to be full human beings who deserve you know, maybe you don't want to be married to somebody who's on a pole, that's your right, the same way the pole dancer could be like, I don't want to be married to a square who works office. Right, there's nothing wrong with them, But when you say that the quality of that person, you're right, it's different because this one does something related to sex and this one doesn't.

And so with so many men come into the clubs with the attitude that's someone just hey, we go have fun, we slap ass, we talk ship, you know, get a dance, maybe something extra bout They still respect these women as people, but it's a lot of them to think that with their little you know, and they come in that they've bought her, you know, like not nothing. That sex work is um something that women too to do. And like some women and were the ones we've at least interviewed,

including Allele here soon enjoyed what she did. She she's now she's a mom now and she said, shit, I miss having an adventure and any man and ship like that. All these women aren't fucking broken something else. It's something that I feel is strange and I don't know why men do it, And maybe you have an answer to this, but even a female who's open with her sexuality or one who chooses to get into stripping or porn um,

they blame it on daddy issues. Um. A lot of men feel like had had a man been involved, she wouldn't be doing Chris Rock joke. You know, my job is to keep him off the pole. You know, my number one job as a father is to keep my daughters off the pole. And I remember laughing at it at the time when it came out, and everybody laughed

at it. And you know my dad would you reference him from time to time, and he made a joke about the other day and I was like, well, actually, know, your job is to make sure that your daughter is happy, healthy, and well adjusted, whether she's on a pole or not. And Dan that would say an entertainment industry women that would say they still don't want their kids, do I think that? Yeah? But I think the something absolutely yeah.

I agree. Yeah. And the stigma and the lack of safety in a world where you know, women are already sigmatized and and already unsafe. That yes, in certain environments is it's exacerbated by doing sex work right. And some of them is super safe and some of them is not so. And your average person doesn't know the spectrum of all the different things you could be doing, you know what I mean, Like you couldn't be safe, you could be empowered, You could be surrounded by women and

people who care about you. But they can only see the ceedy motel from the amateur horn, you know, they can only see the stories in the newspaper about somebody getting murdered off of Craigslist and stuff. So it's not you know, I don't think we should be surprised. The families are like, this isn't what I want for my child.

But what we have to really, you know, as a feminist, Like for me, it's about encouraging people to like, don't talk about these women and girls, is that they're less than somebody who does something, you know, quote a respectable And I want to bring up that I thought was amazing. And I hate to bring up all these tidbits and pieces from an episode that people are gonna hear, but we I interviewed an escort that said, I'm so tired of the whole hierarchy, and Cardi B said something about,

don't get it twisted. I wasn't sucking for money. I was just a stripper, And she's like, okay, there's the one hose, you know, not greater than the other hole. She said that street walkers look at women that are escorts online like they're lazy, and the other ones look

at them like they're dirt. And it's like, but we've all fucking done it though, But unfortunately, that's what I'm saying, Like, as women, we already have men beating us down and saying certain things, um, because of the choices we make with our bodies. I feel like, as women and people, especially as us wanting to empower each other, shouldn't be sitting here making any type of hierarchy or thinking, um, I'm a better home because I charged a thousand dollars

and you only charge two hundred. Maybe people all right, well, part of that is like that is patriarchy, right, So the same way like the things that the men say to us, like oh, you know, I'm judging you based on how many people you've been with or how sun your skirt is or whatever, like when we're so often we're competing for men, either actually a real life man or just the idea of who's a more desirable woman, who has who occupies a better station in society, you know,

and so much of that is tied to our relationships to men. On the other side, it's just capitalism, right, So it's like the same way the person who waits tables at you know, Ruth Chris might look down at the person who waits table looks down at Danny's who looks down And McDonald the girl um a few years ago who was a waitress or maybe bartender at a high end restaurant, and she would always talk about girls that worked like an old garden. I'm like, man, but

it's probably busier. Like I mean, like just to just

to to judge based off that. I think that it's um counterproductive and what a lot of us women are trying to do when we're trying to build each other up and I and I think, without knowing it, a lot of us beat each other down and it's it's it's hecky, and I think it's something that should probably stop even when we do it subconsciously where we don't know we're doing it, and I look down on other women not based on like what I've achieved that they haven't,

or you know, something about me I think is better, you know, in terms of some kind of measure of what we call successful or important or significance. Like when I look down at somebody, it's because of their like their behavior and how they treat other people, you know what I'm saying. So if I'm like, oh, she's an asshole, you know, like she's not kind to people, she's selfish, she's rude, like, and that's what we should do this

sort of thing. That Something that I have been struggling with since starting the show is I get really exhausted with women that hide their whole ship. And I think that's been something that's been misconstrued with me on the show because I'll say all the time, like, put these girls do this and they hide it into blah blah.

Because I feel like, if I'm a girl that's sitting here putting myself on the line to make other women feel uncomfortable, like I feel comfortable about what they feel, feel more comfortable and feel more accepted, I want like women to do the same. I think this is still going back to judging. I don't think that. I don't. I don't feel like every woman has to be open with their sexuality or how they get money or what

they do behind. I think a lot of the people that we do UM get out of their shell are doing so with their partners, and they're glad to hear like minded people. But I don't think that just because we're openly talking about suck, you know, openly talking about sucking, did no I know what you're saying that I know

what you're referencing to. I just feel like even if x X girl, or if we have an escort on the show who's openly talking about her experience as an escort, as we did with a future guest, that you guys will hear. I don't think that she's any better than a woman who doesn't, who does escorting and doesn't share

this with the public or their friends. I think that you have the choice, UM, and it makes you no less whether you want to be open about your sexuality and how you make your money compared to another woman who wants may want to keep the sex. We're gonna get stuck on this it's fine. I just think it's the same thing. So we'll go ahead and get into our kick of the week. And um, actually I didn't want to address that though. Okay, okay, I'm not entirely clear.

Aren't either of your points, you know? But I think I was like I was with you us, like I know what you're saying, no chin, And then I was like, I know what she's saying. Now I'm confused with what you're saying. But um, in terms of like women being free, like I you know, from much of my life, like this is really wild to me to see that I've been a feminist since I was like twelve or thirteen, you know, like I remember, I haven't remember my parents

being like, well no, you know. Now they're all in and they call themselves that. But like, second, I just want to point out that they are both at the edge of their seat because there they are waiting to see who you agree with. I understand what Maddy's saying to I just think that Mandy isn't hearing me. I think they were. I think they were making two different points. We were. I think they were like I don't think that they were like That's why it sounds like we think.

I don't think they. I think they were just like this is an apple and this is and if we all just embraced our sexuality, we wouldn't have women feeling ashamed for it. So I have so I do have a response to that, and I think it touches on what you were talking about too on some levels. So

hopefully this is a good middle ground. So they're like, so because I had this feminist thing very early on, you know, I had I didn't have the best I didn't have a lot of relationships with boys and had crushes and stuff in terms of high school and even college, you know, just a little bit of sex and a lot of making now but not you know, I wasn't

really going there yet. But when I was, I was really comfortable just talking about it and talking about my interests in it, you know, um in ways that a lot of my friends weren't, like I remember being in high school, and at this point we must have been pretty early in high school. Nobody allegedly because I'm sure someone I wasn't, you know, but allegedly nobody had performed oral section, right, and so all the other girls are

talking out I'm never gonna do that. I'm never gonna do that, And somebody's kind of like, you know, only with my husband, blah blah blah. And I was the only one who was like, you know, guys, it's not

that bad. I hadn't done it yet, but I'm just in there, like I think that's just part of sex, you know, Like, and I'm sure that most of them kind of like, yeah, they might have been a little grossed out by it, but I'm sure somewhere deep down they either all knew that they would do it eventually, some of them were probably really curious about it, if not really ready and excited to do it, and at least one of them probably had already done it, you know what I mean. Um, but like we were at

that point, this is what we were judged doing. You know that you're the girl who doesn't do those things. We know this when she sleeps, you know, she stopped the basketball team, so and so they you know, they ran a train on her. She went home with this one.

Like at that point in our lives, the Slett shaming was like, you know, the virtue was being the hot girl who was sexy enough but who wasn't necessarily having sex with anyone or with many people, and so like there was when someone decides that's exactly and so that I don't use the word home or sledt, like I don't believe that homes exist, you know, Like I understand.

It's taken me a while to kind of make peace with like like when the first slow walk happened, like way before Amber got into it, I remember it was kind of like online it was like black girls versus white girls and white girls, you know, the black girls were like weird, like fighting to be treated as for us to not get caught, like y'all are trying to reclaim slut and we're trying to be called by our names and so okay, so I'll tell you. So I think it's super cute and I do like it. And

it took me. So this was years of me making because when people the whole pro ho and hope, you know, like whole ship, I'm like, but there's no such thing as a hole. We just do what we should be

able to do what we want. Like, yeah, I think that the rule should just be be respectful of yourself, of whomever you're dealing with, you know, whether it's casual or serious, you know, be honest, be truthful, be be responsible, you know, like you don't have to tell like if you if you're actually fun, if you're if we're fun? Buddy's like, are you really my buddy? Are we friends? You know? I mean are the homie lover friend thing? Like? Are we actually friends? Or do we just fun? And

those are two different relationships and they're both acceptable. But we're not gonna pretend like we're friends. Who you know what I mean, Like, don't let me if I if I'm having sex with you and my tire blows out, I should be able to call you, not because I think you're my man, but because I'm a human being with whom we share this experience. You know what I'm saying. If you value me enough to to allow to to

come inside of my body, you should care about my safety. Right, Maybe you're not the one to call and help, you know, come hang out with me just because I'm bored, because

maybe that's not our relationship, but you should not. I shouldn't feel that you would let me out somewhere without a ride, or that you wouldn't make sure I got home safe, or that you wouldn't care if something happened to one of my parents, like you know, like, and I say this all the time and time to the college shoes and I'm like, only have sex with people who respect you, period, and that's also respecting your pleasure.

So maybe our interactions are very limited to I'm not would never text him for a tire because that's not who he is. I'm only texting him. But even that, but even with that, does he care if you came that? You know what I'm saying, Like, when are you bringing this up? Because on an earlier episode, UM, I was uncomfortable with hearing the world word, and sometimes I still am. I have some insecurities with people thinking I'm a total

horror right or saying these words to me. Sometimes it can feel uncomfortable with being called promis is because the definition was having sex with no remorse or something like that. Anybody. I remember my main point in that conversation that Mandy and I had was but I definitely established connections, and I think that's the key to wanting to make a horrible decision and keeping that respect there even for yourself.

If I make that connection within two hours and we have sex, or if I make it in two months. I still want to make sure there is a ground level for respect. But that's what's kept me from feeling confident in the decisions I made, whether real, horrible and skanky or not. You know what I'm saying. I haven't had a like a train or because people love to use his word train or male male females. But I want to make sure that when I do, both of these men respect me enough. And I want to get

have two dicks slapping across my face. And I think that's why I think the name of the podcast is super cute. And I'm just like, you know what they speak about things, not just you out, but just like and there's plenty of women. It's not necessarily and aged thing, you know, Like there are plenty of women who are just like, yeah, I'm doing a whole show, you know, blah blah blah. And they've reclaimed it and so in the way that it ain't the first word we've reclaimed.

And I know that, like black people, reclaiming the N word did not change how white folks felt about saying it to us about us. You know, all it did was make them mad that you know, we try to tell them that he used it. And by the way, we can't tell them, you know, we tell them all we want, but they still use it um, including the ones that will sit there and argue with you about like it's not fair that I can't they say that ship's but but I think that because I mean, being

a nigger is not a real thing. It's a concept that they came out with. But being a hole, being a slut like those are not real things. And so I think the more that women just claim it, I do think that this these words have the path like that the power can be taken away. So you can't call me that. If somebody that was on a life show, I don't want to mention his name, but we don't know if he got into me and you or had this conversation with both of us. But he said, how

can I not call you a hole? We're not your show. Me and Mandy had a competition who was the bigger home and we talked about little skinky things we did and who people got to vote at the end of yellow names who did the more hole ship, most hoh ship. And he said that why can't I say it? And to me it reverts back to like you choose what I want you to say. Do white people are they allowed to call this nig because they listen to this in musical time? And what's your intention in calling me that?

Are you saying it like, yes, bitch, you better be on your hole ship? Are you calling me? Are you looking down it? It's like that video when the girl said bitch in different ways, by bitch exactly mean it's a different thing. And I had this actual this conversation UM, because we have this show UM and we call, you know, our listeners the whore hive, and we make fun of the word UM. I had this issue. And I hate to bring him up again, but Um Tahoe, who has

been on this show quite a couple of times. I went on his show and he kind of introduced me as oh and afterward I had a problem with it because it's just like for you to introduce me to an audience in that way when I'm someone that you know, that you call for advice, that you ask for business decisions, and so to kind of belittle me as a person to just this is a hole that's coming on the show. And that's my problem because I can do I can

suck dick. I can have sex. And that's kind of why we like to mention that we're two women in corporate America, because what you're not gonna do is demean me as a woman because of the choices that I make in the bedroom. When you know me as such

is so much more. And that was my issue with him and even this is fat and it's funny because like one, that's why, And that was my issue with using the word period because I'm like, if we allow it to fester, you know what I mean, because I don't even like I would only use it to for to mail, you know, people of any gender that did fucked up stuff. So like he's cheating on his wife or you know she lied, you know something about deceptions, just something that like that to me is where more

like deception, you know what I mean. Like I think it's okay, I like to sleep with three hundred people in three hundred days if you want to. But what my problem is with the one person cheese on their one partner one, you know what I mean, Like in an a in a long term affair and hides it to me, You're the bad guy, not the person who had a whole lot of sex. You know that the person who heard somebody um and willingly did and did

it over and over and over and over again. Right, So I didn't say one person one time when I was like, no, like these people still don't know the comfortability and for what happened to you though I don't think he knew. I really don't believe he knew what your reaction to be because men don't understand and they haven't been getting enough. It's like men don't get what they can. I really don't think they knew how to treat us yet, so they don't and we don't require

us to their fault, Alex. Alex is agreeing? Or are you disagreeing? Why do you disagree? Men were never sure all men? We never We don't. But when I heard it, right, when I heard it, I remember feeling like it wasn't that big of a deal. But I also couldn't say that because that's all how she takes it. Maybe I wouldn't have sat there and thought it was a big deal, but she took it that way, and that he was It sounds like he's implying something, you know, like he

makes it. This is what bothers me. The stand like, yes, you call yourself that you have the podcast you talk about it, but like those same behaviors in a man would just be a guy who has a lot of sex, right, you know, so if you were to eat I don't know. I just I think that they know even if you claim it, there's still a level to which there's a thing that people just decided about you. Whether they affirm

it or not, there's just the thing. And I for me, I just think that the stand like you, if you call yourself a home because you feel like your whole, you're a whole, then that's fine. But I would never call somebody that based on how much sex they have, because who am I to come? There's there's no like, where's the rule book? But it's what I mean, where's the standard? What's appropriate? What? We reviewed a girl jasel Marie, who is a leader of a stripper strike, and I

believe I are you. I think it might have been me said, oh, we've got to strip her on she was I have an adult entertainer. Even though she called it the stripper strike. Um remember that, and like she stopped me and I remember, like, and I didn't want to be disrespectful, but I also thinking like, will you call it that and it's the same ship. Yeah, but think about it and exactly so, like the branding, I have the stripper on and I have been doing all

this and leading the goddamn protests in March. Bitch, nah, that's how she Stripper Strike was a good like you know, adult like adults entertained or walk out. It's not going to have the same punches stripper strike, you know. Like, So I'm loving where all of this is going. And Alex looks like he wants to jump down. You really jump down. Let's take a quick I want to take a quick break and we'll be right back. Hey, guys.

Today's show is sponsored by talk Space, the only online therapy company that lets you message a license therapist from anywhere anytime. By the way, any time I used talk space in the past, and I remember being really high. It's at three am at some party, and I went right in my email and I was like, thank god, she on the West coast. Bitch, I got some ship to say, I they are there for you. That means you can improve your mental even if you've got trouble

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level with road And now back to the show. If you guys haven't noticed yet, UM, this episode the Horrible Decision is feminism. So we kind of like jumped right into the motherfucking topic with UM kind of how we feel about the word horror and UM one thing that I wanted to get into. And we'll just added into our horrible decision because normally what we do is we add we have kinks. UM every week we do a kink of the week, and this week with feminism, and

and I had to do a little what is feminism? First? Can you tell us what a feminist is? Yeah, a feminist is a person who believes that all genders are equal. A feminist, yes, you're a feminist? Are a lot of people We'll say things like oh feminists, so can we explain how this is not going to be a male bashing and why where where's that misconception coming from? Because it'll lead into where we're from, you know, I mean, feminism exist, and there's lots of different types of feminism, right.

Think of feminism as marijuana, you know, like there's a sativa and there's an end, because there's different feminism. There's white feminist, yes, so there's white feminism. There's you know, um, there's first wave feminism and second wave feminism, and there's you know, radical feminily, there's just lots of what kind

would you say that you align with? I mean I tend to just use the you know, the phrase black feminists, you know, black feminist thought, um, which does have a whole history and a trajectory and really, you know, I won't get to to too walky and all that stuff here, but you know, like people have done serious work fleshing out these ideas thinking about how we relate to men, to the world around us two people of other races, and have written brilliant things and explain things very plainly,

you know, but at the heart of it, you know, when you think about black feminism. It's advocating for the needs and concerns of black women and girls and black queer people with the same level of commitment and energy that we give to black men and boys, you know, and also recognize it the ways that you can be oppressed and you can be an oppressor, and that's not

limited to straight black men like you know. But but but when it comes to when you think about black feminism and something now that you're talking about that I want to dig into with you. Yeah. Actually, before we get into the notes, UM, I wanted to play a a video real quick. UM. And this is from Freedman.

What she does is, UM, she talks about how feminism actually um related to men and how it kind of yielded men into going into being more feminine with themselves and that if that makes sense, as well as the topic of hypermasculinity. So I'm gonna play the video. I'm gonna put the audio in. UM. So if you guys want to take listen, I'm gonna play that real quick

and check it out. In my opinion, the other half of the woman of the Revolution, the other half of women's liberation movement, is the boys in my country and in yours wearing their hair long, you know. And those boys who are wearing their hair long are saying no

to the mask and mystique. They are saying no to that brutal, sadistic, tight lip crew cut you know, Prussian big muscle you know, or just turn having away, uh kill bears when there are no bears to kill, and and and ny palm all the children in Vietnam, Cambodia, to prove that I'm a man, you know, and be dominant and superior to everyone concerned and never show any any softness. Well, these boys that are wearing their hair long are saying no, I don't have to be all

that crew cut and tight lipped. Um. I don't have to be dominant and superior to anyone. I don't have to have big muscles because there aren't any bears to kill. I don't have to you know, kill anybody to prove anything. I can be tender, and I can be sensitive, and I can be compassionate, and I can admit sometimes that I'm afraid, and I can even cry. And I am a man, and I am my own man. And that man who is strong enough to be general, that is a new man. And he is the other half of

this revolution, and he will live longer. I mean, really, what I had that I wanted to ask you? I wanted to talk about the biggest feminist contradictions that men think that we have. I went to Women's March and um, I can't remember what my sign said, but some guy was like, oh, what about the rest of us? So here's the things that I think are the top three that people talk to it about for men. We're talking still talking about men with feminism? Okay, um, paying for meals? Right,

I want to let's start with that one first. Why do men feel like because we're feminists? This is way off from what I thought it was going to be. Well, I mean, I didn't see the video, but here's we talked. I hear about it on a lot of podcasts that of us and two guys, Oh, if you're such a feminist, why do I have to do this for you? Blah blah blah? How does that? How does it affect our our daily lives? That? How do we how do we put feminism into dating and chivalry and things like that.

It's it's much easier than you know. I think a lot of people believe and I think that a lot of those misconceptions or you know, that's hypocritical, and that's yes, a lot of it is. There's contradictions, right, Like, I don't know if hypocritical is fair. But and sometimes you know, you can be a feminist and you can be a hypocrite. You know, you can talk one thing and walk another.

But like, feminism doesn't mean that a woman and a man in a relationship have to do the same things and carry the same burdens and and move the same way and have the same you know, patterns of behavior and responsibilities. It says that both sides aren't equal. Now, equal does not mean that we have the same skill set or the same interest, just that our value is

the same. Right. And so if I'm start a body, I'm terrible with math, budgeting, Like I'm very you know, I love to shop and stuff, you know, and I can be very frugal and I can be you know, uh, what's the way I can be you know, frugal, But I'm not somebody who should be balancing the family you know, checkbook, right if there's myself and another adult, like I'm just

that's not my strong suit. I like to cook. I'm not super great at clean Like cleaning is not my jam, So like I have somebody come clean my house, you know what I mean. So Like, if I'm in a relationship with a man and I cook every meal that we eat, it's not because I should not cook all of our meals because I'm a woman. If I cook all our meals, it should be because I'm the best cook and I enjoy doing it, or I'm the one who has the time to do it, you know what

I mean. If it's just and I'm the best cook, I still need to Okay, I'm the best cooking. Is that I mean that I like doing it? Does that mean that I have time? And the reason that because we were talking about man man thinking we're bashing them, but it's like, okay, well this thing ain't clean up

the house. If you're a feminist, won't like well, you know, I think that men and women who are who don't know a lot about feminism are very quick to kind of throw it back in your face because it makes them uncomfortable, you know, because it does say no, it's not about bashing man or hating man. It's not about not spending time with them or cutting them all off

or canceling them or calling them all problematic. But it is about confronting certain privileges that they have that are not deserved, and certain behaviors that they are apt to to, you know, perform certain things that they're likely you know, are allowed to do that are not good for us or for themselves. Right, And so to the to what she was talking about in the clip. You know, and Betty free Dan is one of the most well known

kind of feminist thinkers, uh in history. But I will say, and she certainly said some some things in her work that was very you know, that was powerful and correct. But I didn't get my game from my feminist game from white women like that, you know, like that, that's not where I look to to kind of like shape it for me. It was Bell Hooks, it was Unlesta Harris Perry, it was John Morgan. You know, these are black women. UM and on some level Alice Walker it Now.

Can I ask you real quick because UM, I feel like that's kind of similar to what we just talked about, even um talking about the whole hierarchy. UM. When you talk about women empowerment, UM, I like to think that we're talking about all women, And I don't want to all lives matter this thing at all, but um, why not uplift the Latino women and the white women? And why is it that we talk about white feminists and black feminists and we're all women and we all have

fought the same oppression. Um well, maybe not in all areas of course, black women having um to deal with the slavery aspect of oppression as well. And I'm just speaking it from an all women aspects. So why is feminism even divided when we all kind of want to do better as well as so, you know, when black what the work of black feminism does actually does advocate

for all women. However, what it does not advocate for us for white women to continue to have the unearned privilege that they have not just as white people, but as white women in particular, and so how they are able in the workplace, in social settings, you know, and beyond, to have undue influence over the lives of black women and girls right the way that you know, you could have a white female colleague just as light as you are, you know, and you could be talking to each other

and the same, you know, the same tone of voice, the same you know, volume, and she could very easily just start crying and say you've intimidated her, and it is going to be in good luck to you trying to prove otherwise. You know, there are more Latino women in this country than I mean Latino people that there are black pent of the population I think for multiracial blacks. So we're already tiny. Why can't we have a group

that shouts out and that leads with that? Right? Exactly, a lot of Latino women are black too, you know what I mean? So the one the ones who identify as black, I've been and there's so many of them.

There's always been so many of them. They've always been part of black feminist and you know, like that's that's not new, that that's you know, something we talk about more because we're better at talking about intersectionality, right, which is having realized black feminism though as women of color period.

In my mind, you know what, it's it's interesting, So, I um, there are ways so obviously white women have power and privilege over women of color that you know, we don't have over them, and in certain situations, other women of color can have anti blackness fuel so much, you know what I mean, that you can have somebody who's from you know, who does not have much, you know,

but has the and and they're not white. But what they do have is that they're not black, and that they can look at us like niggers too, you know. And so that does come into play when you're talking about women of color and feminism. I think, in general, have women of color been better with each other than white women have been to us? Absolutely? Is their coalition building, is their multicultural feminists, you know, work being done, Yes, and plenty of us black feminists I have relationships with

white women and white feminists organizations of publications. Not about saying all over here, me over here, but it's about we need to call a thing a thing. And so white women have been able to dominate the conversation of what it means to be a woman or what it means to be a feminist, even if you're not a feminist. What it means to be a woman in so many

ways has been defined by white womanhood. When you talk about blackness, so much that has been defined by black malehood, right, And so we exist at the intersection of both of these oppressions, and these people, like our closest allies you would think should be women, you know, white women and women of other races, and black men. But white women and black and black men in particular have this unique ability to be Black men are our brothers, but in

some ways they can also be our oppressors. White women, we don't have that feeling of sisterhood to them, which makes it even more complicated. Right, so it's easy to throw It's easier for many of us to throw white women away than it is to throw black men away. And I'm not saying that we should by far, you know what I mean. But it's like to be to feel betrayed, you know. But when you're feeling betrayal over you're talking about ways that you know they have power

over us. No, I haven't had a lot of white women, especially in the workplace, treat me good. I Actually, it's funny. A lot of people will sometimes make comments to me, not really if they're a listener of the show, because they get me. But some people say like, oh, you're only half white, why you be acting like them? Or you're only half flack while you act like that, and um, in the workplace, I've had instances where I'm ready to

go off. I call it my black out moments. And I've had black women at work tell me and in corporate America like, good, you're going to make us look crazy. Even when these white girls were sitting in my face like well you know, she was really like, you know, a cross stuff with my sale and like she did them and just just like what she was saying earlier when we were talking about man, I just wish people just like let your house ship out, like where are

you hiding? It's like those women, more often than not, they knew just as well that those other black women, the same way that you knew that what went down was wrong, they knew it too, but they put on that mask. They put it out like there's certain things I'd be like just looking at like look at your podcast, your tattoos, how your dressed, Like there are things that you're just like, yes, I'm in corporate America, but corporate

America does not define me. And I can find success and happiness in other parts of my life too, And there are people that are like, you know, the only thing I know is this is this, And if you hate this away from me, how do I land in another space? Like that? So you could lose your corporate job, God forbid, and maybe have two podcasts within the span of a week. They're like, Okay, well, if I'm not working here, I gotta work at another here. And if

I pop up on somebody, I'm done. But you're you're bringing up a lot of work. And I wanted to even tie Alex into this if I can, because reading a lot of feminist a lot of feminist tweets and what they stand for, a lot of it does geared toward the I don't need a man. I I work, I make money. I can do what you can do. What anything you can do, I can do better. There was a whole thing in the nineteen fifties about that

and having the women empowerment UM thing. And I want to know if you feel like that is hurting women UM right now? And I say that to say, like a lot of men now are expecting women to split the bills. We're now doing the splitting dates, conversation on who pays the date um, and now you have these overly independent women. Is it hurting the And I don't want to relate it back to patriarchy, but we did

have a comment um. We had a b K chat episode, Me and Weasy kind of went in on her because she pretty much said her pussy was all she needed to bring to the table, and Me and Weasy kind of brought in the whole well, you don't cook, you don't clean, and people were like, I can't believe Weasy and Mandy are sitting here bringing up you know, because she had a bigger point than that, and it it took me a few weeks to realize that her point was like, I got pussy, I don't have to do

all this ship to keep this nigga, And she was right, And what do what do I? And I take a lot of those things that I said to her back because I really didn't I should have listened to the

whole clip. What what do you think, um, Alex Like, as far as the feminist movement and women empowerment and what we're doing and standing, is it kind of hurting us in terms of dating and what men expect from us and maybe this equality that we're speaking of, if it's kind of hurting us in the long run or making y'all less of what y'all need to be a k amen, I wouldn't say it hurts you in any way. Actually, Um, every person is different, men or women, so their expectations

are different as well. Me. Um, I guess you would say a little bit more classic. I'm used to paying when I go out to dinner, but when I've been in long term relationships after a while, there may be sometimes where it's like, hey, she'll treat me for this time. But it's just not always, you know, and I like when it happens, but if it didn't happen, I wouldn't look down upon her or whatever. But I like a nice, strong,

independent woman. That's cool, like I just it isn't different, interesting, super attractive when we talk about, like, you know, an independent woman versus a woman who's not independent, Like the numbers show that most of us, at the at least intended period of time in our lives are independent, So you don't have to put a bow on in our I don't talk about like as an independent woman, like yeah,

I have a good job. I'm an adult, you know, I have responsibility to take care of like it's it's it's And I was not born into a community where I could take for granted that I could work around and figure things out that one day I'm going to marry somebody who makes over six figures and we'll have two kids, you know, a pick offense and a dog. But that's just not reality for you know, for for people in urban locations, let alone just black polter. I

wanted to for a long time. And the more and more money I make, yeah, I don't think I'm gonna with my new job, I'm not gonna. It's gonna be very difficult for me to meet someone that makes more money to me. And I realized how that sounds like I'm boasting, but it really is me having to knock myself down to pig to say, bitch, chill the funk out,

like but and that's fine. I just I don't know, like I don't think one when I think of feminism, I'm not thinking about like paying for days, you know what I'm saying, Like, I just think we have so much bigger friendly, like we gotta teach, Yeah, we gotta, we gotta teach, we gotta teach. I do the performative.

You know. It's funny. I when out with somebody who was a little bit older and not too long ago, and I didn't do I was like, you know what, since you over forty starry and I don't usually date older man and I'm like, I'm not even going to pretend to reach, you know, with a guy who's younger at my age, I'll do the kind of like I'm not pretending to reach because I don't need you thinking the next time you go out on page, appreciate it fake reach. The guys know it's fake, but it's still

a nice gesture, you know. I think it's a stilly gesture. I think that one when the bill come I'm looking at my phone. Hey, I'm not feeling too good. Can you want me to bring you something? You better not tell me to come up doing with some soup? But you know you need but you're not. But like I really do want, Like when we think about feminism, Look, me and you we hang out every week. And if I got sick and you were like, literally, I can I covering you some ship, I'd be like, no, why

am I going inconvenience you? And if you asked me to do it and come all the way to Queen's, I'm costing you out, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, but we're friends. I'm talking about it. I was dating somebody so real quick. I want to go ahead. Before we go, I want to get into a homemail real quick. While we're talking about women, women, women and women. I thought that this was quite a funny. Um. A lot of that we got in, and I think that we

could probably give her some good advice. It says, hey, girls, love your podcast. Listening to you guys keeps my ass saying. I'm a woman and I am in a committed relationship with another woman. I have had many men and have fucked many women. However, she was the first girl I have ever actually dated. I am the happiest I have ever been with her. It's been two years, and frankly, I missed the dick. The toys are just not doing it anymore. I am seriously at a loss because I

love her to death and I am really happy. But man, I miss being dicked down by a man. What do I do? Thank you? By the way, this was titled my heart wants the pussy, but my pussy wants the dick. So is a girlfriend lesbian? Yes? Okay, open relationship? You think you know my advice is gonna be open relationship ship all day every day? I think, um, yeah, so I think especially wanting to when you crave someone else. Right.

When I was with my ex, the one that I talked about like left me for Jesus, one of the things he said to me was like, I hate seeing you with other women. Like we had three somethings together, and he's like, I love you, I don't want to

share you. And that's when I knew that open relationships is gonna be my thing, because I am truly bisexual, and I really believe that if you keep holding out like you love, it's only gonna take you so far if your sexual desires are When I was in Miami, I dated a girl UM and she treated me so good. I say to this day, she probably treated me better than any guy did UM and we actually had the

agreement that I could keep sucking Jordan's. She knew that that was the guy that I enjoyed being with, and so she literally we set those guidelines like Okay, I'm the only girl that you can deal with, and he's the only guy that you can deal with outside of me. And I thought that as someone who wanted a relationship with me, that she allowed me to express that I still needed Dick in my life even though we did

the whole strop. I mean, trust me, it's an ego, Bruce for someone to tell you that you can't satisfy me in a certain way, And I can only imagine how inadequate that other person may feel. But if you're thinking about either stepping out and it's something you really needs, you're already. If you're thinking about it, you're already teen. It sounds it sounds like it's more to it than just the feeling of you know, it's the connection with him.

It's the connection with the man because she's getting she said, the toys just aren't doing it, And to me, that's the penetration. I think it's definitely a body, actually more than it's like the when I'm sleeping with a woman and a man, I don't necessarily miss the other. But I will say this much, when I'm with a woman, the next thing that I'm excited for with a man is his really random, but it's his sweat and his chest and his arms, or like his thighs, how big

they are. When I start craving a woman, it's like breast, it's hair, it's the smells, different thing, it's the different things. So it's not necessarily that he can't give me this smell of pussy that I missed. But there are certain things that you crave, and I really don't think it means that you don't love that person. No, it's interesting I've heard, you know, because so I've heard so many bisexual people, you know, talk about like, I hate that

people think we can't be monogamous, because we can. But I also think that like what I don't think. I don't think it's necessarily bi sexuality that makes it impossible for people to be I think it's just that who that that person is just not wired for that are interested in it because you could, like straight people are not that good in monogamy the way they you know what I'm saying, So that Tomson, Kevin Hard So I think, what what, what's the problem? We can't call our n

don't right? We takes getting away because because men cheat, they all cheat, Thank you black Mann. I don't like that that joke was funny for like two weeks. It was. It was funny for one minute, it was funny for one Anyways, I wanted to go ahead before we wrap up, where can our listeners find you? I feel like there was so much that we did not get to motherfucking get on. But we're gonna have to add that in

another time. I'm gonna give you the super brief just like if you if I'm the first feminist you guys that you ever heard not YouTube like listeners, hey listeners, if you never heard of a feminist who wasn't just like, because there's Twitter feminism and I'm just and then there's like the form, there's the feminism that lives offline and that's not like I know, and people comes right, and so the thing is, it's kind of like somebody getting

really excited about healthy eating, right, Like you know what if you know the differences? Someone said to me, and I really appreciated this woman said it to me. I was at a Christmas party. Sorry, I want to make the short, and I had half of the room divided. She said to me, That's how I know you're real about your ship because you knew Niggs was gonna get pissed and you knew conversations was gonna be uncomfortable, and

you still did it. That's fucking that's protesting, that's Black Lives Matter ship, that's everything you really talking that ship, And I think people people that don't like it, and yeah, you have some other people and not gonna like it, but you're also not saying it because you know people are gonna like it. You know, like there are a lot of folks to just say things for shock value,

you know, saying anim today. And I'm like, every time I know everybody's gonna be you know, then not everybody, but every time I know that a bunch of men are gonna be mad, you know, if it's our Kelly or Bill Cosby, it's like, be mad. This is not my problem, this is your problem. Purpose. What do you think your main purposes before we wrap up, Like, for feminism, what do you want the most? The most? I want us to be empowered. I want us to feel free. I want us to be happy. I want us to

have orgasms if we sell choose. I want us to be able to do the things that we like to do with the people we like to do them with. I want us to have healthy, loving relationships with whomever, you know, and I want us to be respected by our men, you know. And I'm like, I don't care if you're a black man who only dates white women who dates I mean, even though I do think we get that. If you only date people who are not like you, then yes, I do have to have some

serious questions for you. But if you're somebody who dates, you know, all types of women of all types of craze and colors, sometimes black, sometimes whatever, and you end up marrying or you know, having children with somebody else, I don't think that means that you don't love or you have to. Yeah, but like what I judge that on is like do you love and respect black women? You know? For if you're a black woman who's done that,

do you love and respect black men? Do you still have black male you're black female friends in your life, people who you can call in and who can call on you. Are you gonna show up for us? It's not about who you go home with, It's about like your relationships to us, you know? Do you you see us as less than these other women? Do you think of us as only what we can do for you, how we can help you, how we can support you

know and you women? And it's interesting because Abron said that and people were mad at him, but like, yeah, he said, he said, Keyene is a hug from a black you know, he needs a black woman hug or black on a hugging or something you out and so like in a lot of black women are like, no, we're done being your meals. We don't need to, you know, like or a man sucking up should not be a black woman's responsibility. And so I was torn because I was like I feel that too. You know, they were

saying like they were like na brothers. He didn't told us who what he thinks of us. I M like, the whole Beyonce holds jay Z down, blah blah blah. Let me tell you something. She got three goddamn kids. Please. Jay Z is a grown ass man, and so is Kanye. Yeah, like I wouldn't say that. I didn't like that. I don't blame him. I'm like trying her best and you were out here with with chicks on chains and pimpings, so like you can't And that's the point. I think

it's like we can't be responsible for the actions. However, I do wish that Kanye had black women surrounding him with love who he also can pour back into. So don't just call me when you need some help. This should be a black women who you know, like and I got and I've been producing records. But I remember him talking about Siana Taylor and how he sat on her record for too long. She's immensely talented. She should

be a recording star. She should be you know, for for for a lot of these topics, and I know you talk about them on your Twitter, your Instagram. You post up where can our listeners catch you? Where can they find you? Drop the at name? Do you have a website? Drop all that information? Yes, it's on Twitter and Instagram is at jamilamu. UM. We'll go ahead and add that if I sat here and try to spell it, we will definitely drop that UM in the description of

this bioble have it. We'll also have it when we post um the clip to Instagram, UM and everything. And I want to thank you so much for coming on. You were amazing. You had this show extra woke. I was just like, I know you don't like the work hell um, but yeah, I appreciate it. I hope that

you guys enjoyed this episode. And for our patrons, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna post um a couple of the feminists um sources that I found, including the video of the art of the audio that you guys heard on this episode, as well as some first sources um that are just really good to read up on the history of feminism. So I'll include that if you are a patron and the rest of y'all niggas um.

In a few days, we're gonna be in a t L. You know, my period gonna be right off right and she wants to so um we hope to see you guys in the live show. Probably gonna be done working on himself that weekend. Oh he ready, that did gonna be slain? Wow? He taking in. He's all I'm anyway, guys, thank you so much. This has been yet another episode of horrible decisions by Bye