Ep57: Hands and Heaux Mail

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are our hoes. Okay, yes, so welcome to the show. Mandy and I almost didn't make this episode because we haven't. I'm just gonna throw it out there. Me and the special was fighting a lot about what is again again? Okay, we're not gonna bring up the top enjoyed. I feel like everybody be saying stuff like why you'd be letting Mandy cuts you out? This is my only way to silently like fucking you know, poke and poke and poke,

oh you shade because I don't. So one of our followers actually went back and started listening um from the very beginning, and she was like, Wheezy was meat as hell. I'm glad you started shading and now and now I feel like everyone thinks I'm the meat. One used to get really upset about me and making basketball players jokes, and I stopped because I didn't because you had a serious conversation with me, and she was like, fish, that

ship is rude, and so I stopped. And I feel like I've never had a conversation with you to say, bit your rude. But bits you're rude, that's fine. But I feel like my shade comes from you literally being you and you say shit where you want to bring up,

like like, no, you don't understand this one girl on SoundCloud. Bro, I'm just so over you shading Wheezy And it was me bringing up her gay voice and it's like, bitch, you did change your whole boy because you'll be doing anything to shade me, but just better fact, where's prayude to a kiss? Bitch? I funk with you and I don't know where you live. I think she said Jersey, but hit me up. I'm putting she on my list, bitch, and I wish you would so the issue, and I'm

still here say so. The issues that I had with um Wheezy making all of the basketball references was, as you guys know, me and Weezy had a five year gap in our friendship and so at the time she's making all these jokes, I felt like she was shading me on my twenty one year old. But I don't who un in a ball player, lawyer, bastball play just because he's six something me the basketball playing out, So

you don't basketball player. I have a basketball player in a very long athletes Who was you about to go eat with me? Eating with an athlete and a fu athlete are two different things. You can still make the joke, bro no doing the All Star game? Nobody? How are you fighting nobody game? When this year? Bitch I was talking about the finals a couple of years ago. Yeah, I probably about six of them, But that don't matter. God damn fuck you. That was the past, which is

what I was saying. All your shade was coming from a bitch that you knew. But bitch, I ain't that bitch. No mo a bitch done grow. I don't you know transformed? Hole have you? I'm just saying I got real niggas in my line got down. Fuck you anyways, guys, we are here and I don't even know how we're here. Why do you keep firing me your phone like I ain't gonna get away? Bitch, Calm down, We are still doing the introduction. Hi, guys, I don't can't can't you

being you? It's why I'm shady cause you you'll be and you a matter of fact, I want to say this, if you have never listened to a horrible decisions, I'm gonna be honest with you. We act like this every episode, so it doesn't get better. And if this isn't for you, then I'm sorry. This is very much of us hating each other. I think what keeps us together it's this show. We know we gotta get way to be friends without this show. I'm gonna tell you all now. It's it's

it's what keeps us going. It's hard. You're about to go to a concert and it's for fucking networking? Is it's to look at the venue to bring this measuring our showy? She was about to go you an athlete, but excuse me for bringing up ball players anyway. I'm just saying anyway, as you guys know, every week we have a kink of the week and um, so this week I wanted to bring this one in because I thought it was rather interesting. The kink of the week

for this week, guys is quer ophilia. UM. Quer Ophilia is actually um talking about hands. The specific fetish for hands is called this and it may manifest as an attraction to fingers, a great manicure, or simply some smoking hot hands. While query ophilia can absolutely use hand jobs, fisting, or fingering, some hand fetishes might get off on hands mundane tasks such as picking up groceries or doing chores. UM.

I thought that this was interesting. Massages too where at the top, which is kind of weird because you can't see the hands, so it's literally your hands doing literally I guess, feeling the hands. But technically if you're getting fisted or fingering, like I know, when a guy's hands is in me, I'm not really looking at his hand, so I guess it's even just the touch or feeling

of hands. I really like fingering, um, especially you what No, I'm just shout out to what was the lesbian's name, Oh love a girl VICKI Yeah, oh my god, she did talk about fingering, but she mentioned like the wave, the wave. You don't use that ship already, Alex, you know what, why don't we even? I feel like we need to get another discount because you was taking notes with Anthony, you took notes with vicor Tralia. I just felt like, you know, I know, that's right, that's how

we're doing this. The wave does work. Though the wave works, Yeah, that ship is different, I think. Um, I got to look up A spot again. When Tyomi came, she was talking about the A spot. But maybe that's what that ship has hitten for me. But like I had Jeeves do that ship to me other night, and I was like, nigga, I came so hard. I don't even want you to.

It's crazy because girl, why do you even come? And crazy because when I saw this, I actually thought so um as y'all know, I've only really had one dick, but um the guy who I had the Golden Shower with was in town, y'all. No. Oh, yeah, I've had a whole lot of dicks, but I'm saying for the last couple of months, it's been one dick since like November. One dick. Anyways, Buck y'all laughing because I said I only had one dick that you see the shade, but

you only had one dick. I'm a shading you because you know you being you. That's funny, But it's funny because it's shading you for being you. So um when I found this king, I thought it was interesting because, um so, as you guys know, the guy who I did the Golden Shower with, he's someone that I've been dealing with for the last eleven years and he's one of those guys that I just thought I couldn't like let go. So yeah, bitch, we met when I was

fifteen sixteen. What why do you always call the niger who took my virginy of pedophile? He wasn't a pedophile. I mean he was nine nineteen and twenty when I was fifteen a pedophile? Why is that a pedophile? He was in college the same thing I was in high school. It was what six nine, same thing he got in trouble for. I mean, I get well, he was I think eighteen and nineteen when he was like, I mean, the whole thing statutory. But my mama knew about him.

There was no talker knew about mine, but she was shaming me the whole time. No, you're you were fourteen, he was like twenty four. No he wasn't, bitch, I'm twenty seven. He's thirty three right now. No, that was twenty and fourteen. That's a problem. I wasn't my virginity. Did you not just do the math? Like I just did the math thirty three and twenty seven. That's six years sixteen? You right, do right, that's but no. Anyways, he came it's not so bad when though, yeah, it's not.

But anyway, well maybe I was a charity girl back there. He had car. So anyways, he came over and I just knew I didn't really want to have sex with him, and I told him I didn't want to have sex, and so he actually was like, well, it don't make sense for both of us not to get none. So he actually fingered me and ate my pussy for probably about thirty thirty five minutes, and everything he did dealt with his hands and his fingers, and he was shoted.

Apparently he got like knuckle deep with his fingers, but it was probably the most like it felt so good. I didn't squirt because I was on my couch. My couch is swade, And I was just like, nigga, don't make me come all over my couch. But roomate of you. I'm just saying, but no. So when I read this, I what color is what my couch is? Great? So yeah, it just would have not been good. Um. But it's funny because I had this conversation with him, um kind

of about where his hands were in me. He fit the three fingers like what Vicky Um said, And I just really think that it's something that a lot of men do not do or master, and he has mastered. And I feel like I have this thing for fingers, like I know when I have men giving me head, I asked them, can you put your fingers in me? Um? And so kind of just I don't know if I have a hand fetish. I do. I know I do like guys who get manicures. But it was just amazing,

like how I felt. It's weird because like I've never thought about the hands really like I'm like getting fingered, but I don't think about it as like the hands, because I mean, the King of the Weak is about the hands. But it's funny because I did have a guy once tell me that he really liked looking at my nails on his dick when I jerked him off, and I was like, okay, this is now weird. That's why we get our nails done so that it looks good while blow jobs. That's literally the only reason we

get our nails done. I swear the guy. Maybe maybe us, I don't know, I would be honest. I think other people maybe okay, maybe they just want to get it done. But I do like i'd be thinking about the color, like like I absolutely think I just don't care about that. They do. They don't. You're telling me when you get your dick stuff and you see red nails in your dick, you don't think it's hotter than no white nails. I

don't give a funk. Let's take a poll right now, as nails is like not fucked up like you straight, I don't give a color. You do care about what the nails like? No, no, no, as longly they're not like fucked up. If you have a manicure, you straight, that's good enough. You can have clear. You're telling me when you see no color or color, that makes no difference,

no difference. I don't. I mean like you still enjoy it, but like you're different the thing that women have just put into their hands, y'all do it for y'all know I have for each other. I mean no, I'm talking about women right now. Women do hair for other women? Yeah, do you make cake face makeup for other women? Do nails for other women? Like I really feel like about that. I don't know other people I do drink said Drake said the best hair tie, sweatpants, chilling with no makeup on,

Like that's what biggest, Like no makeup. I really just mean concealing. Yeah, because when you don't have makeup on, niggles would be like, oh you look different today, Like y'all be motherfucking making comments, got makeup on? We gotta a little bit full of shi But wait, wait, wait, back track back, Yes, you really left dude like with blue balls. I mean, I don't know where the sperm went out of his ball, you know what? So it's crazy because I feel like this is no but this

is kind of that area that I'm in. So what he does for me sexually is what I get from. And so unless he could have provided the intimacy or something different than what I'm getting from, seven, I felt no need to suck him, you know, but you don't have to fun him. But if he went down on you and fingers, do you know why you didn't want to? You don't know my life, you know why you want to. It's funny. I don't know your life, but you love to tell me about mine, but I don't tell you

about Oh. I didn't go down on him at all. Now, so you just gave well he fingered me. Um, he was just and gave me. She didn't. No, he didn't even pull his dick out. Didn't even pull his dick out. Yeah, no, I mean, but normally we kind of I mean, but he's also one who does like to be submissive. Um, and so he kind of well if he likes to get piste on, I K yeah, yeah. And he added the role the role play into it and was like make me, make me want to come back, like, keep

your pussy from me. Don't get like he even I don't know about the role play. You'll keep that pussy locked up. You keep that locked up. You've got the chain on that pussy. But don't do that. But no, but yeah, it was weird and it's crazy because his dick was so good clearly to keep him around for eleven years. And it's to the point now where I

think I've I got Dick. That's that I like more so I like the dick more I don't like the So let me tell you all real quick speaking of and this isn't gonna go into homemail or anything like no, no, no, no no no. It's funny because so I was within him two days ago. And so we're laying down and we talking about you know, because I am talking to a nigger that might be a boyfriend, but we're not gonna get into that. Y'all heard that in another episode.

But um, so I'm sitting there telling him like I'm really like I'm trying to get a boyfriend, Like I'm about to get a boyfriend, and like, so I'm talking to him, telling him like you know where I'm at and how I want a boyfriend. Of course I'm not telling him my stress and having to cut him off if I can. So this nigga with his narcissistic no, he got good Dick having asked sat here, was like, well, when you get that boyfriend, um, go ahead and let

me know which Dick is better. And it was like, let me know who who you like sucking you more? Me or him? And I'm just like to my boyfriend though, so I don't what honestly, I think you'd be doing that same ship and Nigga's that got girls I do. I ain't even gonna hold you. I know they want to come fut me when they when their wives at home, and that's fine. I'll be like, I know he wants this,

but that's what he did to me. Have you ever have you ever like said like it's like peared in a way, be like, does your wife's suck your dick like this? Oh? Have you think? Um, I've asked the things that were ship. Now I'm about to hate your ass. I would ship when it needs to be a team wheezy. Why why does that make me not? Clearly she's not doing something that I'm doing that. I have a huge ego.

And if you're sitting here risking your whole hollihood and paying my bills for this pussy, I want to know how good it is. Go ahead and tell me how good this pussy is. Going to tell me how good you really compare? I know, like obviously we want to know that we're good at sex, but do you really be like, is this better than your way? Oh? Even he does the same thing that I do. I told you he told me. He told me, I fuck you like this to remind you that whoever else you're fucking

ain't sucking you right. That's what the funk he said to me. And I was like, you're right, because he sucking the ship out of me. That's why. That's how I'm thinking about the dick. And it so motherfucking good puss Oh all the time. Oh, I tell him I love the dick while we're having sex. I tell him how much I love it. I used the L word a lot, Daddy, this is yours. Do whatever you want with this pussy. I use the L word about his dick when I say it when we're fucking, and like,

I love this dick. I love the dick. I don't ever say I love you. I love the dick. I love how you fuck me. I love how you make this pussy come. I love what you do inside of this pussy. That's it. So fuck you. We believe you yo hashtag yo please drop under manny ships hashtag We believe you. That's what we're doing. We believe you. That's both. Anyways, when we going athlete so much, we believe you. Oh, y'all, y'all getting a real kick out of this. Hush ya,

y'all get a real kid. It's okay because guess what. Guess what, No, what's gonna do? Damn Weasy was so mean to you this episode because you know what, y'all act like. I'm so asserted Weasy becaus it was so when I fell a little tidy jazz, I'll be like, oh my god, poor weezy. Fuck y'all. Hose anyway, we're gonna go ahead and get into that motherfucker homemail. This was a UM. So, if you guys don't know our voicemail number, I want to give it to you. UM. We have a line where you can hit us, leave

your voicemail, tell the whole fucking story. It is eight four five one nine three eight oh nine And this was left by who fucking else? Hail. So UM. I'm a virgin, but I consider myself a freaky version. The reason why I'm still a virgin is because I don't want to have bad sex, and the people that I'm trying with I'm not really attracted to. Um, and so I'm not gonna have sex just to have sex. I want to be pleased. I want to explore ship. I

want to get real freaky like. And I've been tracked my friends about this, and they think it's weird that I want to try anal or if I get into a relationship with people like I wanna like swap and be in three sims and just all different types of ship. They think it's weird. And it wasn't until I started listening to you guys podcasts that I realized that I'm not fucking weird. I'm you know, a normal person. And so I guess I just wanted to ask how did

you guys start howing? Because I want to reach this level? And um, I guess, just just how did you get it all started? Let me pause this for a second. Jesus fucking Christ. You know we do a lot of other stuff. Okay, well, we like reading stuff. We're smart girls. What did you What did you do? How did you learn there were there's no class of Oh I need to be our next live show how to Hoe? That's it? Let me continue this. Sorry, where did you go? How

did you meet people? Because I feel like it's weird? To just you know, go up to someone and be like, hey, can you be in our three sum or whatever? I don't know, just just how do you get started being the sexual sexual, the sexual liberated women that you are, Because I really wanna get on that level. Um, because I'm twenty two and I feel like I just want to start, you know, doing stuff before I'm too old

or yeah, I just want to get experienced. I'm tired of like and I'm not the version that just like doesn't do anything. I have sex toys. I just haven't felt like the guys i'm around have been good, especially guys my age I'm attracted to. I'm twenty two, I'm attracted to usually then over so and the guys they're and yeah, I just want to Yeah that's it, Okay, cool, thank By. I don't know that's not me. I think that's her phone. Okay, well I'll play it. Um, I'm

gonna put it over. But um, so, guys, I think this is so funny because I don't think that there's an actual class or way to start calling. You just kind of gotta suck dick and you actually you know what you should do? This is I think the best piece of advice I gave me. I'm sure we're gonna get into this, but we had that girl, um, the actual Black Mermaid, right, I would hit her up and have her teach you how to branch out into some hole ship. I don't know if you listened to that episode.

I can't remember which one. It was, maybe a few weeks back, but um, yeah, she was called the home Coach and she was teaching women how to like get money and stuff. But she also said that she helps single women get back out in the world, and I think it's a virgin. She'd be somebody great to talk to you about that. Um, I I'm gonna be honest. I don't think that there is a way to starting. I think that the way me and Mandy have some

and so to speak, becomes sexually liberated. Liberated as my mom said, you guys just always love to go out and have a good time, and you were always like this, like as someone that really enjoys life. I know how this sounds like just saying that you enjoy life, but I don't think about I think the biggest part to being a quote unquote hoe is not given a funck. I go and live my life I don't give a someone gonna talk about me. I don't give a funk

if someone can take a picture of it. If I'm shaking my ass somewhere, if I'm kissing a girl in a bar, if I'm doing whatever, I really enjoy what I do. And in that free spirit way, which is like the nice way of calling yourself a home, That's how I've had my experiences, whether it be meeting famous people or rich men or whatever. I'm someone I believe that other people want to be around the same like you.

People invite you to places, people want you to be around because you're fun, and most holes are I've never met a boy in home. I also um my, my hoesh friends, like the ones who are the holiest, if that's the word, are the most confident women I've met. Even just knowing that you could bag whatever you want, that you can just do whatever the funk you want, and that you do it well, even like just not giving a funk about what a man thinks allows you to just go out and if you want something, you

get it. Um And so I really feel like it's something that you need to find within yourself. I also feel like you need to figure out and and this is like hoeing on a good level, I would say, um, as far as finding your inner confidence to where when you go out and home you feel good about yourself. Good point. You do a lot of women feel terrible after they have sex like that. Yes, I used to feel that way. Actually at first I was having sex

to get over breakups or things like that. Keep a man like, you're having sex for you and not to to feel any type of void that you have going on. So I think that that's probably the best way to home. There one more thing you mentioned, Um, I think I had an episode. Mandy wasn't in on it, but Jesse Wo came and I read something about a virgin not wanting to have sex but doing freaky things. So this is the second time I've heard a virgin wanting to

do dirty things. When she was a virgin, I completely missed that. She said. She said, I'm a twenty two year old virgin who wants sex. I want to start my whole face. Yeah, so the wait, wait, wait, as a man, wait, what you look like you're kind of like she's already twenty two, Like she should just try to have find someone her age. It's always going to be bad because it's like she doesn't have to find someone. It's always gonna be bad. Don't not do that. Yeah,

she's not sick. Like her first couple experiences aren't going to go up. She's not going to be good. She's not going to be good. You don't know that I was great the very first time I did it. He literally was like, this is not your first time, and I said, yeah, that's bad. I never suck his dick or none of that, and got all him everything from your ex boyfriend that I never sucked him. I've never I've never sucked him or sexist dick. But the first guy who's dick I sucked, he was a senior and

I was a freshman, so exact way he was. He was on a baseball team. He definitely had a lot of teenagers. I'll see. Yes, when I first started sucking dick, I didn't do it at it. Okay, I'm just saying, don't say here and tell I don't know. I don't think I think all things take practice. But I will say, Alex, I don't think that she's gonna be bad at sex up front, and I'll tell you why I think it's very hard for women to be bad at sex, and I think that just makes a woman lazy. Agree, I

think women that are late. Don't you agree? Women are not lazy? Wait, girls can't be bad sex if yeah they no, No, he's right, they can't. You can't be attentive. You can just lay there. You cannot back. That's like even if you're on top and you do the whole back and forth and set it up and down. Like, there are things that women do that aren't good that the first couple of times you're saying she's just gonna be bad, she's gonna she should just learn, like and

then learn with somebody. But you could still be a good lover and a virgin though, I really do believe that. I mean, I'm sure it's possible. I'm gonna tell you why. I've had women that i've slept with that I've never slept with women, and they were very very good in bed with me. Maybe they didn't exactly know how to like, know what she grow with a pussier whole life. Yeah, I can't believe you're saying. I'm just saying she did so somebody else knows it a little bit better than

she would know a dick. Okay, so you're saying that she should experiment with girls first. No, I'm saying that she should keep saying that. It makes sense that a girl I don't know, I've still even while teaching someone what to do, I feel like they could still you could be an eager person when you're like trying to like do something good, like you know what I mean, and it's still be good. I don't think she's gonna be bad her first time, especially if she says she's

freaky like she is. So it's funny that this is our conversation because we have another woman asking us very something, very similarly, but she's on the opposite end of the spectrum. Um. And if you guys can't tell, this is an entire episode on homemail. Hello. So the next one says, this podcast is so awesome. You ladies are so free and owning your lives. Free spirit host um, the way that the way to be. I'm a thirty one year old divorce e was married in twenty three like a dummy

who lives with my ailing aunt. She raised me, and I am sexually frustrated. My ex husband is unfortunately the only man who I've ever been with sexually, but we broke up four years ago. Yes, I used to think that one day we would get back together, but those thoughts were banished once I found out he has a new girlfriend. He used to still hit me from time

to time, but after he got a girlfriend, I blocked him. Yet, how you need to I'm ready to move on, but I'm so out of touch with dating and I have no idea how to approach a guy. I've had chances to have sex, but I would like to actually like the guy that I screw online. Dating isn't working, and while I'm socially awkward when it comes to meeting guys in public, do you ladies have any tips for how

I can get laid this year? Sexually frustrated? First off, I want to say like I felt totally sad for her when I read that, because I've been there where I was like kind of holding out for a nigga that wasn't like I was broken up for me, you know what I mean, not even like situation ship type ship, but like someone that I was totally broken up with, and I still felt like in my mind I was. And then I felt like I wasted all this time.

I also want to say, thirty one is sucking young, so I don't think not there yet, but it's young. It is really young, like especially to be having to be getting into experiences. Um, I don't know, Bro, you did right, I don't know. I have no idea how to approach a guy. I want you to listen to the episode that we had with the pickup Artist. I think that would be a great one. I think you need to have a little one. I don't know for

her if that would be. He talked no, but he talked about how to talk to men and how to be confident and how to be friendly and outgoing. And there was a lot of women that wrote us that told us they liked it. I think that that was still a good episode to at least learn how to get out there and enjoy being single. I would say for her to listen also to the whole Coach episode Hole Coach, but still the pickup Artist made single sound

great and single is great. I think the only thing well she's she's dating isn't working and she wants to and she's also socially awkward. Don't why do y'all be shading the funk out of our listeners why she gotta be ugly because you said it, nigg First of all, online dating doesn't work for a lot of women, and I'm gonna tell you why you probably This is why online dating probably doesn't work for you. And I'm assuming that you're a tractive listener. I think that either your

pictures are wrong. Either you don't know how to have back and forth convo because you've been with a niggas so long you really don't know how to flirt. That could be it too, you know what I'm saying, Like it may not be going well because dude ain't writing you back and after you match them, and they probably ain't writing you back because you might be boring. Here's a really fund boring. Boring is not the same as ugly,

But here we go. We don't even know. Here's a really fun cut that we've been hype do the whole time, But here you are. I want to tell you one thing I liked. I used to write on bumble because on bumble you have to write first. So I used to write two truths and one lie question mark, and then the dudes will hit me back with three statements about them, and then it's like this game back and forth. Um, you can have three about yourself that you could put on your bio and like let them guess and let

it be a fun story. Like let's say the one of the truths is I punched someone in the face this year and that wasn't a line, and they will be like, damn when you got in the fight, you gotta get in told kinda like it could be totally fun. Um, I'm gonna give her advice outside of still the online dating, because she said it wasn't working for her. I would say, we all have friends. Well, she also said she's socially awkwards.

I really don't know what to do right, But I would say, as as someone who has friends, I mean all of us have friends or coworkers, I would say, start, they're like, have conversations with your homegirls and let let them know that you're single. They may have a man that they know, either a guy friend or a cousin or a brother, or somebody that they feel like would be good with you. I mean, fuck your friend's brother, Mandy,

What what's the problem. I got a better viuce of it is that I'm really feeling since we're pro sects work. I know you're not gonna like this, but if you ain't gotten late in four years, well your husband trying to tell these holds to go buy some dick. Listen. I know, I know it probably happens, but is it like a big thing. Listen. A lot of women esports for like, you know, particularly fine ones that you're into, and dude, you will have a man give you everything

you want, complete boyfriend experience. Go out to eat all of that ship. Girl. I think that's called something angels. Look up jigglos on showtime and like, see what that name is. But these dudes are like seven hundred for a day. Rape bitch. You all like him and he's probably gonna suck the sh out of you, and you can look, you can go through a bunch of dates with a dude, waste all this time on your hair and makeup and getting pretty and wasted, just getting good.

Fuck your co workers, brother or a cousin or a co worker, That's what I'm saying. That's iculous. Maybe they're cheaper. This was a New York. If you don't want to pay for dick, like I would not, I would definitely say to ask your friends I don't think there's a I don't think there's anything wrong with going on. Yeah, no, I'm cool, um too much free dick and good dick. Um. I just don't think that. How do we know? How

is it confirmed? You gotta sucking first? All I know is I have a lot of guy friends who have sucked porn stars and escorts and it hasn't been good. So just because you're paying for dick doesn't necessarily mean it's going to be great. Because I know a lot of niggas who have paid for sex and it was like, fuck, I just paid for this and it wasn't great. So I don't think that that's necessarily the route for her to go for and making it like a you know,

maybe they got reviews. I don't know, And if they don't, I'm gonna start. I'm gonna create a Yelp for dicks. I want to. Isn't that what? Um? That that website that you guys check that has all the gossip? Rather, No, that's not the same, but they do be like but if you go if you go on Arrows, if you go on a lot of like the sites where you have escorts, you have to be verified a lot of the times, and you're the clients that you do get

are able to leave reviews. There's actual websites for men and women who purchase escorts where each escort has reviews on them. Um, I'll get the information from my friend clearly, that's how I know about this. While you read the next question, I kind of want to look up escort review really quick. Yeah, they're on there, but you're not gonna be able to read them. You have to pay for a lot of the sites, like, they're not open

for you to read. I've tried. How do I know I want to join unless I know the pussy good you have to pay for the membership. UM. I'm gonna go ahead and read this next one, and I think this is some to find out you're a three point five. Um. I love your show. You guys make my day every time I listen to you. Thank you both founded a couple of weeks ago, so I'm barely on episode twenty four. Girl you got a long way Togo. Um, tips for the Perfect blow Job is the episode that she's on.

I love giving my man a blowjob. I feel like I sucked the all out of him. Yes, I need help with one thing though, and I hope you guys can help me. So English is my second language. I speak it pretty good, but I'm super self conscious about it. I would love to talk dirty to him, but I kind of don't know what to say. So if you can literally tell me what to say, so I can be the dirty little slip, I really want to be.

That's all you got, by the way. I wrote her back and asked her what language she spoke, and I believe she wrote us back and was like, I speak Spanish, but I feel like everybody's gonna tell me to speak Spanish. Also, I want to just add in for you to have English as your second language, you wrote us perfectly, and to grab a police, to grab a police, you wrote way better than somebody thinks. That was born in America speaking in glaze. So I want to say it to you.

I think that to start off literally, we need to get into role play right now, she said, literally, tell me what I should say. So jeevesus sucking you right now? Please talking to the mic and talk and say And I'll do the same too, thinking what are you talking? What do you say? And sex? Let's go get ready for dick, all right? Set the scene set, They ax me, all right, let me wait. Okay, we're gonna set the scene. Alright, So,

so his dick if you're a guy, I'm girl. No, I'm going to be a guy who with my dick. I'm gonna saying next, but we gotta go back and forth because okay, so my dick is in your mouth, to your mouth, Okay, that's my dick right there. Okay, here I go. First, I'm gonna like make a long piece or something like that, and then I'm gonna probably like I'm sorry, I'm so messy. Do you do you like? Why are you leaving? You know what? I kind of

want you to lead to? Ohad Okay, I think an easy way to do it, to start talking dirty is talking about what happening, agreed, sucking the dick? All right, you're the guy. A bunch of spit everywhere, I'm choking or some ship, right, And I'm like, I'm sorry, I got it so messy. But do you do you like it when I get it messy? Oh? Are you really talk? Okay? Go ahead, because are you well? No, no, no, no, But to me, I'm definitely in some you like that, like really short terms here you want me to stop.

I always ask them if they want me to stop, because they're like, no, don't stop, no, keep going. Damn that feel good? So I'm always like or when I really want to look they ask, I'd be like lower while I'm at the nuts. So these are these are words that you can say that even if you're English. Isn't that good saying stuff like lower? Do you like? Make it low? More? Low? More more low? Is that what they? Okay? Again? Better to you like more? Making

me go down? Go keeping, keep keep okay, okay, keep going, we keep going? Okay. I want to say one thing with the questions, hold on, don't ask questions too much. For example, here we go, do you like that? Oh? Yeah, don't ask Do you like that? Yes? What do you like about it? Oh? Yeah, that's too much, that's too much, Like I don't know you like. Your girl was choking me and asked me something like that. Then she's like do you like that? I was like yeah, she was

like tell me why you like? Yeah? No. I think you definitely have to keep it to where their responses are only one word responses. So lower you want me to stop? Keep going? Do you like that? Those are all one word responses, and it allows him to start talking to you, because then what you do when you start talking, he'll talk. He'll start talking back and giving you direction. And then but you ain't gotta worry about saying ship because he don't just start talking to you.

I also think so that's during head. I think if you're in the minute and where you're getting head. Sorry, Oh yes, so I've noticed um since I've been Jeeves. He likes me telling him what he's doing. So like I'll say things like just literally I described the scene, and it's hot when you put your fingers in my pussy while you're looking me. I love when you lick my clip like that. I like when you stuck on my clip like that. Oh my god, that feels so good.

Come and kiss me so I could taste it. Yes, well you got back up and go no and so and so that's receiving oral And I think when you're getting fucked, it could just be a whole bunch of luck. I was saying earlier in the show. Oh my god, I love this dick. Oh my god, it's good you want to boost their ego while they're sucking you, because it definitely makes the dinner. What I say a lot, I'd be like, oh my god, I love when you fill me up. I love when you stretch. Yeah, what's

do you know? What's my ship? Any nig I ever fun? I'm telling you I wish I did this before, but I just started this year. I've been asking for permission to come, like Daddy, can I please come? Can I come? Please? Please? Can it? Can I come? And he has to say yes, and like and you come. No. That's really good. And so I think that these are things that you could say. Um, something that I say with seven a lot is oh my god, do you feel this pussy gripp it? Because

it'd be griffin it and he'd be seen. So even just making it to where you're making it visual for him, like do you see a griffin? Oh my god, you're filling me out? Like when I'm on the bottom and like it's missionary position, like I like looking down and like tell him like I love watching you me yeah, blah blah blah. So it's really, honestly, just just say things that are happening. Um, you don't even have to say anything. I think you can comment, Like when I say,

oh my God, I love watching. Yeah, yeah, but something else and this, this takes away from having to say words. I know, I enjoy it from a man who even if he doesn't talk. I love the most boys. So if you even just moan and do a moan to where he can feel that you're enjoying what he's doing. I know. I love moans when I'm sucking his motherfucking dick, like it's so sexy. You know, you have the power to make a man moan, and a lot of the hunting and a lot of men won't moan. They see

it as kind of like a feminine thing. And I don't know why, but a lot of the i'm gonna be honest with you, a lot of men. I'm not saying that it's the majority, but I've definitely been with men that don't make a lot of noise and it's really uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable for me to I And honestly, it's always the niggas. That's like the joke dealers, the

scamper jamaking niggas. I'll hear like, yeah, it's like they're keeping themselves from moaning, but chanting but not moaning, you know, So I think that she could definitely moan sometimes too, like now that I'm getting into rougher sex, like when I'm getting grabbed or something like that, I don't growl, but it's a lot of like like that's not that's funny. I just make noises as like my form of given direction.

So it's like they're doing something good. I'll give a little noise out there like yeah, keep doing Also to like if you really, really really are still afraid on what to comment on, would start with your talking just being asking for like a different position. Can you can you suck me from behind? Can you but say it instead of can you fuck me from behind? Can you fuck my pussy from behind? Yeah? You gotta make keep

sucking my pussy? Can you spit on my pussy? By the way, A lot of women I've been hearing don't like that. Actually had loverboy telling me this. I've had jeeves tell me they don't like what spitting like. They have both told me that they've spit on a girl's pussy. Because when I've been like, I love when you do that, they've been like I had a girl tell me like, don't do that anymore. I mean, some girls don't I

wonder what it is, is like disrespectful? I mean, because then they may feel like you don't like how wet my pussy is, so you you gotta use spit. I think it's an ego thing. That's why a woman wouldn't want that. So I can't spit on your dick. We gotta wait for precun This is yeah, I know it's stupid. So this one actually our next one. I'm gonna need you on this because this is some mail ship that

she wants our advice on. But we ain't a male and this is some ship we all deal with, so it says, hi, ladies, this is for whole mail advice. I met this guy on seeking arrangements three years ago. We were just friends up until a year ago. We have sex, have gone on small vacations, and are planning more spend time together. I'm at his house multiple times a week and days at a time. This is why seeking arrangement ain't work, because y'all a here making the

niggas your boyfriend go on days. Basically, I mean, these niggas don't be wanting to pay no more. They we want real relationships. Anyway, my bad the day that I brought um. Okay, we go on dates. Basically we are boyfriend and girlfriend, but he won't give me the title. The day that I brought it up, he said he really needed to think about things I was asking. But then all sorts of things happened, several family members passing, etcetera. Look he like, I told him, once I graduate, I

want I don't why you don't last? I told him, once I graduate, I'm going to want more, and he said he understands that since that conversation we have grown closer and he hasn't backed off. I'm so confused. On top of this, he sends me flowers constantly and does whatever it takes to ensure my long term success. Why won't he commit? Is he waiting for me to finish school? Ps? When I asked if how we met bothered him, he said no, because it's been a long time now that

we've known each other. We are monogamous. We've had that conversation, but I just don't know what is going on. And he was on seeking arrangement instead of tinder bumble because he didn't want a girlfriend one and just like you're giving him the girlfriend experience and he probably not having to do much but send you flowers and let you

stay at his house a couple of times. The fact that you sat here and had the conversation with him about a relationship, and then shortly after people started dying in his family laughing, Well you started the laster, honestly, you last first, and then I had funny Okay, okay, Well I want to say this. I don't want to. I don't want to be too aggressive and mean because

you do pay us on Patreon. This was a Patreon question, and I'm assuming it's that nigga money, so you can't put them all as you But I'm gonna be so honest right now. And here it goes. You are looking at a nigga give you all this money, and you just want to keep them. This is all your fault. You met him on seeking arrangement girl. You know he

don't want a girlfriend. And I know you might feel more connected to him because you're spending so much time in his house, but he's just getting what you give. Why wouldn't he want you in his house with no connection or not excuse me, not no connection, but no commitment. I mean, of course he enjoys being there. I don't know if you cook for him, if he enjoys your company,

or if you guys spend time together. It sounds like you have a great time, you go on vacations, like you have a connection, but he doesn't want a girlfriend. And you're saying the day that you brought it up, he said he needed to think about things. If you were talking to a friend and they asked for your advice for a man who said that, you would tell

them that he doesn't don't want a relationship. Absolutely, but I think this is also um hurt even And then you're saying the fucking school girl, Well, well it's something that I see a lot of women do, and I

when I read this, slame themselves. No, But when I read this letter, she's he sends me flowers, I'm at his house multiple times a week, We've gone on vacation about you, Right, But I feel like those things people automatically just assume, oh my god, we have this, and there they turn a relationship into more than what it

really is. Not even that you have a man doing that, and you and your mind are like boyfriend, your boyfriend, right, and some men are just some men are just like that and make I don't want to say this harshly, but you may not be for him, because at the end of the day, what I've learned, even and just seeing UM so many people talk in relationships, I just feel like, if a man wants you, he'll make you,

he'll give you that type. I'm gonna I'm gonna say, I'm gonna take that real, that one back and say maybe not that you are not for him. But I don't think he wants a girlfriend. If he was on seeking arrangement, I don't think it's you. Yeah, that seeking arrangement. I don't think he wants a girlfriend. I really I agree, Like I really do believe in my heart, a lot of women will say, um, if a man wants you, he'll make you his I really believe niggas will let

you go before they'll be tied down. And I will say I would hope, like you might be amazing and he's like, you know what. I know I can't. I don't want a girlfriend, but I would also hope he's not judging and I know that this is potentially in the back of your mind. UM Seeking Arrangement is a website where women are engaging in relations with money like with men for money, and so it could be to where he's kind of feeling like that's where he met you, and so he doesn't want to take you past. Is

it because we met there. I want to tell you one thing, and I don't know if it's gonna make you feel better or worse. But I had a friend called me, um. He's not an athlete. He makes maybe i'm gonna say anywhere from one to three million dollars a year. He's mid thirties, and he called me frustrated because he said he had to break up with this girl. And I said why and he was like, dude, like I just literally got back from Italy with her. We had a fucking amazing time and then boom, the girlfriend

should happen. And I'm like, Nigga, but she's met your family, so why what is the problem? And he's like, I just realized, Like it ruined it for me. Now she's in this got this other thing in her mind. Every time I'm with her, I feel like we're just days away from her asking me again. And it literally fucking ruined it. And he called me to vent about it because he said he misses her. He liked her that much and still let her go just because in his

mind girlfriend would not work. Yeah, but I feel like this is awesome. We got to enjoy what we have and you don't. Don't check with loverboy too though, like wanting that title and was okay with not having that setup. I just I don't think if you're in a situation where you're enjoying this man, I don't understand what the title means. You're you're telling us y'all are monogamous, You go on vacations, you spend this much time with him.

I don't understand the importance of this tight hole. You know. It's funny. I talked to my therapist about how fucked up in the hand I was with lover boy because and I had nothing to do with him. It's just like, how come once I thought I'd got it, I didn't want it. And he said to me that um commitment is a thing. It's is a word that we've been having a societal norm around, and that we feel like when we don't have it, that's something's wrong with us. But then the second we know we will have it,

we are going to lose something. And he's like, you pushed him until he wouldn't give it to you, which pushed you away, which made you want him want to give it to you, and now you like and it's an awful feeling, and it's the clarification that Okay, he gave me this, but it's just like he gave you what essentially you're you have everything you want except this

type this idea in your mind. Friend of mine recently got engaged gorgeous ring and all she wanted was at and she literally told me yesterday, like, dude, nothing's different, nothing if you give it felt amazing. You Now you're in love and you're gonna get married, and you just still the same kind of luck, right, you know. I mean, I wish that I could tell you to chill and maybe it'll come, but I don't think it will. And I think you gotta like, Okay, we're gonna do one more.

Let's read number eight and maybe the voicemail. Okay, so do number eight. So this was a patreon Um listener um. Actually it's melon and milk, So shout out to Melon and milk. She said, who's having the most sex? Wheezy Mandy, Which one of y'all are having the most sex? Right, now, whether it's solo sex, partner sex, party sex, let me know. Um, and I think that this is kind of a good question for us. I personally would how many times we keep masturbating? Let's start with I mean, but I masturbate

every night. That's how I go to bed period period, every single night. And I'd be mad as fun when I'm on my three day period because I'd be like, funk, I can't and I'm masturbated on my first day of my period and maybe my last, but not the first, not the middle two days. But because I won't masturbate, Yeah, it's the heaviest, so I won't masturbate. But I literally, in order to get a good night's sleep, I masturbate every Satiday. Um, as far as sexy. So outside of

solo sex, you, me and you, we are avid masturbators. Um, who's having more sex? I mean you have at least two partners. You got a male and a woman, So I would say you're having more sex. I might be I'm having Um, I get sex a good amount of times per week, So to me, I'm happy. What just one It's one dick, but I'm fucking him multiple times? Isn't he not always here. Okay, now you're clocking the negest schedule. No, he just you know, is he not always?

Believe you? So when he was on tour, when you were like yeah, when he was on tour, it was it sucked. Um. But now we're doing Burrow shows. Fuck you be you know me. I'm just saying, what yo, everyone else he's a rapper, shut up, damn. Anyways, you out here because you're really trying to save yourself. He's trying to save himself. I had a girl come up to me in the street and asked me if it was Drake. I said, no, bitch, you know that bitch

would have been break I would have been in the sixth. Okay, but that would have been in the six The six would have been in me. Goddamn that. But but no, Um, he's not always here. But when he is here, like when he's here, especially days at a time, like I see him enough so I'm having is it's really weird. Um. When I'm with love or girl, we go on like a weekend binge, I don't have sex for a while after that. When I'm with Jeeves, it's multiple times per week.

We're seeing her and I spent like a lot of time together for like a certain amount of time, Like we'll hang out on Friday, we do the gym, we go to dinner, we fuck all morning, and we go to brunch and we fun all day. Like with him, it feels more of like this kind of relationship sex and I hear it's just fun sex, which is strange because we do have feelings for each other's very I mean,

I spent my whole birthday with her. Um, I think because she's seeing someone else, and I think I'm the only person Jeeves is seeing, and so she's she's seeing someone that's more serious in me, and I think we're not each other's primary partner opposed to with Jeeves. I think we are right. And I'm not trying to like put the claim on a nigga, but I did bring a bumble last night. I was like, you know, because I don't really be on it like that. He's like, yeah,

I don't really be on it like that. I'm like, but it selling a bone, but I don't know. It's it's getting to this weird point where right right, right right now, she moved you mad, he got bustle. Delete the whole app I'm the week. The reason I did bring it up I met him. I met him before Valentine's Day, so it's almost be two months. She loved a bitch is still March, but maybe it's coming out of your timelines. Be all of four weeks. Listen, mad he still got I'm seeing listening to two or three

times a week. She is to the seal dater for sure. With that energy, you can't talk all right, I'm working with y'all. I didn't. I did not talk to wait wait wait wait wait hashtag believe hashtag we believe you. The reason bumble came up all sincerity is because we started talking about love her girl, and I said, you know what, this might be my moment to like, I don't know how he never asked me about it, and so we were just kind of getting into that conversation.

Plus we fucking a lie and you know, maybe we gotta get tested. So no condem sation because bitch, I'd be getting sore with this correct dick um, but not even that. I'm gonna be gone for a few weeks training for work, and he might be flying there to be with me weekend, and so she would be moving fast with love a girl. Also will say love a boy for two weeks, so she's like, he's the only one I've been sucking for four months. You just met him,

said that, Bro. Listen. She loves talking about my pussy, bro, because she'll talk about it and then forget she talked about it. How would I say that it was only one? You just wanted to be like, now you met him this time and this time because you're everything, She'll be like, yeah, lover boy is the only dick I had since we started the podcast, she had different. No, I did not every guys threesome. And then, if you haven't listened yet to our why dude, every experience I had was not new.

I didn't be in the treehouse that week. I didn't have the missing condom in me that week. I didn't suck a bunch it. We believe, we believe you. Why why on my pussy out and it's out in the open, it's own record. I will go back and it is our record home. You know what's not on record, my fucking pussy. You love to act like that. Actually, both of our pussies are on right, it's not bro, Both of ours are on record with this man, last night, I can't just live my life. And do you think

my mom fuck the one leg? And last night? No, I can't live in my old hotels. Damn. All right, let's keep going. What's upon a time not long ago. I wasn't hug and I've admitted it on episodes one and two and three and four, Pussay, but then I met you. Okay, so we're gonna go having more sex. That's that was the wheezy she has. I don't have as much sex, though, but I think it wasn't getting sucked of. Well. I mean, if I'm not going to bed like with him, I'm going to masturbate, so but

I don't masturbate after we fucked. So when I go home like no, the more I'm having said like now that having sex more often, I masturbate less. I will agree. I'll attest to that. I don't want to masturbate as much because I'm getting fun a good amount. But let me say one thing that's crazy. So what I'm getting out of the three of us, I'm not having any sex um and in between not having in between not having sex, don't the podcast lying and we got that

live life. I don't masturbate. You don't masturbate at all. I try not to. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. I actually have a coworker that told me that he can't remember the last time he said it. I'm like, not in the last year. He's like no, But I mean I thought guys masturbated more than I mean not as we're I try not to because it makes to your testosterone levels go up and you want to more. Actually, probably been doing it at a gym,

like on some boxer ship. So if I'm not sucking, let me not masturbate so I have more testosterone so I can go harder in the gym. Really, Oh wait, so you don't masturbate to go harder in the gym. Yeah, okay, so y'all know. I don't sunk with athletes anymore. But I will say they will not work on game days, so that makes a lot of sense, like they need their legs and energy. I guess I didn't know the energy came from your balls, though, but they did. Well,

not suck you on a game. Boxes are training for a match. They don't. They go like months without. Let me say, what's funny. I feel like God gives me wings and the second I guess I feel like excited. Yeah, yeah, you feel good. But I'm talking about if you want to have aggression and be aggravated. And I feel like, if you go without sucking for a really long time, aren't you going to be angry aggravated? Ready? I mean, I guess I don't do any competiti stories, but I

do be have an attitude. Yeah, so that's I haven't actually when I don't have sex, That's what I'm saying. So you don't have sex, you have more aggression in Jim, like you don't even know. I'll be walking into work singing and ship it's a great day, bitch. We still in the thirty degree weather in almost April, and I still think it's a beautiful day. The day I was skipping to that L train in Brooklyn. I'm excited. Well,

unfortunately we have somewhere to be. Um. If you guys liked this episode of doing all of this motherfucking homemail, please continue to send it in. We'll do another one because we did not get through half of the homemaale that we wanted to get through this goddamn episode. Um, but yeah, you can go ahead and send that to horrible decisions at gmail dot com. Don't forget y'all. We is coming to motherfucking a t L And at the live show, we are going to allow you guys to

ask us wholemail live. So we have a segment where we put in the DP shout out we act. We had a all openly stories openly discussed about doing double penetration. We also had another couple that openly admitted the man let his woman. Other guys, if you guys are not open enough to do it in person, please leave us a voicemail of your hotel. I would really like that. I like eight four five nine, do that. Tell us all your nasty ship mowing on there. Give us your

best impression for the Spanish girl who have it? The question do it the best do jurabilities have it is six? What would that? I don't know, no, but like, honestly, do your best sex voice. We're not going to share your name or your number. Do your best sex voice. Tell us like what you do. That might be really fun. I would love to start the episode actually by you sounding like what you guys say during like literally, just if you guys can go ahead and call the number, well,

I'll put it in the description of this episode. If it's good enough, whoever wins this, we're gonna give you the promo code for the tickets, how about it. Yeah, I like that. So if you guys can go ahead and call the number and leave us your best impression of how you sound while you have sex. Just like that, sex sounds is trash. What we're trying to make them trash, okay, because I sound really good when we don't. Don't. So this is an episode of that's what. That's what score

know what people looking like the faces? Anyway, Thank you guys. Another episode of Horrible Decisions by I Hate You