Ep29: Whorephobia and Contradictions

we're recording from today. It's going to be me, Mandy, some of your favorite guests that were on the show might be there, you know, not going to tell you it's gonna be super exciting. Guys. Um, you can check the details out in the description of this episode, and we will also be posting the link where you can purchase tickets on our personal instagrams as well as the

Horrible Decisions Instagram that's at Horrible Underscore Decisions for details. So, if you have somebody that you want to bring with you, whether it be your home, rule, because you'll need to learn how to suck dick together. I think we should do a banana like thing. Maybe maybe that just came to me that we should have a dick st No, no, no, my mom might come. Your mom is gonna be there and she knows you start dick, so I think that would be awesome and I'm excited to see I could

do a good handshop one. Everybody says I could do a really good hand work. I'm serious. We could, um, but we wanted to be really interactive. Maybe one of you guys we could do a dick sucking context. But we have a raffle. Mandy's not really for this, but um, it's a threesome raffle where you can win a date with us. We don't know what might end up happening, but we will buy you drinks. UM. Again. The details will be in the description of this episode as well

as our social media. So hope to see you guys there. So you might not know who this is, but we don't love us. Yeah. Yeah. You probably hear me play this all the time, UM on my Instagram and Snap, especially when I'm tired of a hope. Maybe sometimes you energy cast spells and my cousin that's Princess Nokia. I don't know if you'll know who that is, but she is amazing. You've probably seen her videos like reposted. She talks about like energies and like gentrification. She's just a ship.

So check out her album. It's on iTunes, it's I follow her on Instagram. She's super cute. I haven't gotten into her. She's not my type of fourteen bit why she's just not I have my type of music. She had a really cool like documentary things that was bombed where she's from, and she's like a don't shave your arm pits or like type of I think I saw that. I was like, I wasn't buying into it. Welcome guys

to horrible decisions. I'm wheezy, and this is your girl, Mandy B. And we have a great friend of mine in the house, James. He is he listened to everyone where episodes like, I mean, I think that makes me feel okay. I think I think I have everyone. Yeah, I'm probably your biggest fan. I guess James will text me in the middle of the day and be like, are you fucking serious? You guys think, but I'm like,

all right, UM. So we brought James on today because we wanted james perspective on a lot of different topics that we brought out brought up throughout the show, and because we're always discussing it. He wanted to put his input on there. Um, James is a divorced x Christian pan sexual mail And for our listeners who don't know what a pan sexual is, do you want to kind of touch him on that? Yeah, I mean pan sexuality is it's you know, some people say bisexual or pan

sexual or the same kind of thing. Pan Sexual is just a way of saying if you say bisexual, then you're like saying there are two genders. And that's what I'm dealing with. Pan Sexual is about saying, my attraction isn't based on gender, It's based on other things. So people that are you know, trans or gender nonconforming or

non binary. You know, that's I'm attracted to people not necessarily gender now, like practically obviously there's a scale, and I definitely fall more towards the straighter end of things, but also very attracted to like androgynous people and people that are kind of, you know, not fulfilling certain gender roles. And the most women that I've seen you attracted to. It's funny James was showing me the picture of this girl he was sucking that had like the snake bike

tongue and like very boy girl look. And I was like, well, okay, um, you know, I'm more of a like Beyonce Rihanna type of loving health. I have a question actually about that. So I have a He's oll referred him as an associate we speak, but he's pan sexual and he just got divorced from a transgender woman. Um, but he also dates women in his personal life, but does gay porn, so with that, so he is into kind of and he described it to me as he doesn't attach himself

to any specific gender. So if he likes a male, a female, a transgender, he just likes a person as a person. Is that kind of okay? That's that's a good way to describe it, because it's about, you know, interacting with a person, like I can recognize that my you know, my tendencies and my likes skew towards a certain thing, but like that doesn't when you're interacting with people and dealing with people in relationships, like there's always gonna be more things going on than that, and more

things you're attracted to than you know, somebody's gender. So is it more of an emotional connection and not a sexual connection? Because with sexuality, aren't you turned on by certain you know most of them? But if you're talking about a relationship that you're gonna have with someone, that's it's a combination of sexual and emotional and friendship things, okay, and like it's not necessarily going to be just about sex.

And I think I'm more bisexual because I I know, I like a girl for being a girl more than I like feel people out, Like when I see you women like I recognize them for being sexy women or sexy men. It's this very divided thing where I think the way I've heard pan sexual people describe it, it's like, oh wow, I really their energy or they had this that was sexy about them, Like, no talk about them like their gender. Okay, So when you date, I hate

that we're already hopping into the interview here. I didn't mean to. But when you date, how do you identify to someone? You said you lean towards more women. Now, some women would possibly have an issue with you saying, but I've also been attracted to men. How do you come forth in the dating serie? How what happens now? Because you're newly dating your recently yea, how do you explain that to someone. I kind of don't, first of all,

because like goes you know further. But I mean I wouldn't really be seriously interested in someone if they had an issue with dating a guy that has been with guys like that would be agree yes, like uh, you know, a deal breaker right there to begin with. I mean, I don't think I would really, honestly even probably want to be in a serious relationship with a straight woman, with a woman that wasn't like at least a little bit really why, Um, I don't know, first of all,

because I would feel weird like she would. And also I'm just you know, like, what do you think about when you know you watched Insecure? What do you think when you saw Molly trip over the diving by. I mean, I feel like that's that's just like homophobia, like your your prejudice against you think it's because you want to have masculinity conversation. Okay, Yeah, we're definitely gonna have a great conversation. Do you want to get into the Kick

of the Week. Yeah, so awesome. James is here, Um, because we went to meadows or whatever, so all I wanted to do with the future and I'm like, Damn, I don't know who's getting enough to go see I know you would, but I don't know if you want to go to like a whole day thing. Yeah. I don't like festivals or outfit and things like we went to UM. I went to Made in America last year with my friend and we had free tickets and everything. Of course I like Jake Cole, so we watched Big

Sean j Cole by the time Beyonce. I think we actually love to watch Beyonce on titled because we was just so tired. Was like, I don't know and listen. We were even like in the like duck all part of the statue area. If you've been to Made in America, you know there's a statue where they put like all the guests and stuff. And me, me and my friend looked at each other like are you ready to And we have done I don't know how many festivals we've

all done together, but who traveled for festivals together? All of us and took a lot. James is one on one next week in Atlanta. But I was gonna say one thing I know that you and I can both appreciate, which is the difference between friends that I would invite to festivals or concerts. I can listen to music that I don't know and I'll be all right. And I like hearing newer music like there was when there's some

weirder bands or ship like that. I like finding newer music at festivals, oppost even clicking on it on Apple I'm like, okay, this is live. I like the vibe um anyway. So while he's been here, we were sitting down trying to think of a kink of the week, and I came across this one while we were in Romen. It's called frauderism, and it is a paraphilic interest in rubbing, usually one's pelvic area or a wreck penis, against a non consenting person for sexual pleasure. It may involve touching

any part of the body, including genital area. Have you that you have rubbed yourself up against a guy that didn't want you to. I'm mean I dry hump like all of my friends, somewhat non consenting bro, that's like a non consenting stranger. It's a very specific. I've done

it well. I think you know what's crazy. This actually reminds me of If you live in New York, there is a message that goes off in the subway or actually there's a sign that says, well not only that, Like you know, just because it's tight in the train, it doesn't give a person that, you know, sexual whatever.

Think about that in the train, Like I felt a hard dick on my butt before, and it's like, I know it's packed, I know we're scrunched there, but this is making me feel uncomfortable to where I've had to put my purse behind me and I know that guy. Yeah, bro, Like there's definitely guys on the train, And now that I know it's a fetish, now I'm really gonna be

covering my ass on the train. When you remember when I was coming here to the studio with my mom and the train moved quick and I grabbed the guy's dick instead of said yeah, so like I was literally about a fault. I was leaning against the where they say don't lean against the sliding doors, don't lean against the door, but they reopened it before I felt I just wanted to grab anything, and I thought I was going to grab his bell or sure, but I grabbed his dick and I held on so terrible my mom

complain about it. He like looked really offered and laughed and then my mom goes, oh, I'm her mother. She's sorry. What. Um, so, James, have you done that? Is that something that? No? No, that's yeah, that's a kink. I don't think is I mean like, I've been at concerts where it's really packed and you know, girls have to walk by and rub the boobs against me. But that's not my I'm intentionally in a bar though, rubbed my chest against somebody, but

someone that you may have thought was hot. But it didn't arouse you to do that, right, You just did it just to do what I turn me on. Really yep, so let's get about me. So actually, um yeah, so James has a quick story about are we just you like skip the home mail and ship. I'm just like, okay, because kind of goes with the kinke of the week. Actually at least it doesn't. Yes, I'm not going to tell the story at all, dude, Okay, No, he really wanted to bring it up because it's consent. There was

clear consent in this story. Alright, fine, argumentative, but he knows in this story, James noticed that there's a trend in our shows where we talk about p a lot, and so you always ask we have mentioned, well, you know what, what's crazy? Sometimes we haven't brought it up. So even when we had Jada nexton, he's like he he pissed in someone's mouth, and I'm just like, okay, here we go and piss again. Like I mean, we've an episode and she's like I said something about that.

She's like, we have to stop talking about Like we have to stop bringing it up. It's not gonna happen. And then for a while, toes and feet were a thing. I'm just like, can we not bring this up every episode? Jesus Christ, everyone's gonna think we have feet fetish that we don't and piss fetishes. I just love hearing that nigg is be really doing patient Like it's just it's like, let's just open up the doors, okay. Like like, so my story this takes place around Halloween, I think a

couple of years ago. Um, but I was at a party and um, this girl that I had been seeing a little bit before texted me and said that she was downtown and she said, if you want to take me home, I'll willingly go home with you. And I was like, okay, that sounds good. So I go to pick her up, and I was already kind of a

little bit drunk from the party. And we get together and I'm with her friends and I can see she's like kind of drunk, and they're like, no, you should come home with us, and she's like, no, I'm going.

So we went and I took her home. We're like fooling around on the way back, and and then you know, we're kind of messing around in the room and she's like pretty much naked, and she runs out of my room and I live with other people, so she throws out into the thing, just naked into the bathroom and I'm like, this is fine, it's like two in the morning whatever. And then she comes back and then as we're having sex, I can see she's like a little

more drunk than maybe she should be. And then I realized, oh shit, she is not Now did you come? I mean, yeah, I was. It was close to that point already. She was not conscious, I guess at that point, but I mean she was conscious when we started, but once she did, I mean, what do you think do you think Manny that if you are are you agreed to it? But then fall asleep. Is that consent? I mean, I didn't like I think it was like you you already say it. Actually I think it is. I mean it's a gray area.

I didn't feel great about it. But she was enthusiastically consenting up until the point where she just went to sleep or was She said she was wasted. That's not consent. It's not consent. And I'll say it's because I've had a similar situation where I may be really flirty with somebody and say, oh my god, did it out of me being drunk? Of it? If I if I passed out, don't touch me, bro. But no, this is what I'm saying. They were awake when they were we had This was

not the first time we had sex either. This is we've had x before. She called me, told me she wanted to come. She was completely conscious, just drunk. We were making happy stuff, and then we're having sex. She was completely wake while we're in the middle of having sex, which isn't like a great thing. That's an ego, like Jesus Christ. No, because here's what I gotta tell. I gotta tell the rest of this story. So we fall

asleep whatever you know. The next morning, she wakes up, like, gets out of bed really quickly, like grabs her stuff and seems kind of like a little flustered. Then walk goes out to have a cigarette and I walked outside and she's like, dude, we have sex last night. Yep. And I take her home, go back to my place, and then I like sit on my bed and I'm like, wait a minute, what's why is this wet? And I'm like, wait, this is really wet. I'm like, that bitch pete in

my bed. Let me hasty. Because we had us story, you have to smell it to confirm. Well, that was part of the thing. I was like, what does that smell? And then I felt my bed and so did you tell her? Hey, you pissed in my bed? How did that conversation? That's what I said, question? Yeah, I think so, Yeah, No, I didn't tell her. You didn't tell her that she pet in your bed? No, Like, what is she going to? Oh the guy I never wrote her and she never

wrote him? Is that what you never called her back? Yeah? Kind of wow, missed three weeks ago, so this is not even the end of the story. So I get back. I had a date that night with another girl, and so I'm like trying to dry it out. I got like paper towels the target and buy a ship ton of a breeze and all this ship. That's when I've got a fan blowing on it. That's what you just tell her. You like couch sex, and I tried. I tried to her on the floor, and I mean, I

like sex on the floor. But anyway, so I'm trying to do it on the edge of the bed. She felt that the story and I said, oh, oh yeah, I spilled a glass of water. I thought it was daft another vision. Bed, Oh god, that's bad. Um, so, yeah, that wasn't the horrible decision. We are not trying to make it about pe every week, but that was my horrible decision. That was pretty good, Bed, that's a pretty horrible She didn't have consent there, she did so fucking

on someone else's miss. I agree. So the horrible decision this week is married marital dating. I was about to say, Mary a dating, I'm sorry we've went out last night. Uh yeah, So married dating came up because, um, James used to be married. I wanted to date within his marriage.

Mandy talks about dating married men and I just wanted to bring you two together and discuss it because you've got someone who's married, but more honest, the guys that you're dating that are married, are they honest with their Wife're not honest with their wives? Now, mother, Um, so let's talk about monogamy in your relationship. So your marriage didn't work out. What when did you realize you didn't

want to be monogamous? Um? Probably pretty early on. But I think the issue really was I was coming from this background of a very conservative religious, evangelical Christian home, So everything I was taught when I was younger was that, you know, um, women basically women don't really enjoy sex

so and men do. So that women only enjoy like their recreation part of it, you know, or they should if they do enjoy sex, and there's something wrong with them basically, or they can only enjoy it in marriage. And even then they kind of started believing that ship more recently because they're influenced by like the feminist and pro sex movement. That's the thing of a female enjoy sex and they look at her like you're a man eater,

You're you think like a nigger, you like. For that reason, it was I was always taught that for men to want sex with a woman outside of a of a married relationship is a really wrong thing, and you're doing a horrible thing to that woman, even if she seems like she's enjoys it, or she actually when you wanted to be non monogamous, is it because because I know you love your wife, I've heard you talk to talk about her in that way. What why did you want

to start sleeping with um? I don't know. To me, the thing, like how I would describe it is that to me, sex and relationships and friendships are not They're all kind of equal things. Like you could have I could have a sexual relationship with someone that I was friends with and not romantic with, or and I have had that, or I've had sexual relationships you know that I don't have a friendship with this person at all, like I only want to have sex with them and

absolutely see them otherwise. Or you know, you can have someone that you're really close and you have all those three things with, but that doesn't mean even if you have that someone that you're a really close friend with, it you really love, you really love having sex with them a lot. That doesn't mean you're never gonna want to have sex with someone else, or if you do, then that negates anything you have with when you had

those feelings being in that crazy religious Sorry it's sucking nuts. H. Did you think, Okay, I don't love do I want to leave my wife too? Was there ever that I never? I never felt like that. I always you know, loved her. I wanted to stay with her, I wanted to be with her. That was never what I was questioning. I just wanted to, um, you know, be with other people,

and I wanted her to be with other people. And really mostly what it was about I think was just she was so like jealous and possessive and insecure about me. Like if I ever like like I was never like flirtatious or anything. I didn't even really have like other like female friends or anything that was close with at all. But like if I would ever even like look at something or make any kind of comment about any woman looking attractive or whatever, like it would set her off.

Do you think that women can drive their men to other women by doing that? Um, I mean women can create a bad relationship and which will make more likely for men to go out. But I don't think that's what it is. I mean, she didn't drive me to do that and I was never close to doing that. So like, and see how he can dad relationships. That's a great and how he explained his relationship. And men will always blame women like, oh you did this, just just just that made me do it, Like you can

create maybe tension, but it's not your fault. Well even well, I mean I think also when you do have a monogaous relationship that both people agreed to be monogamous and then one person cheats, like that is a form of abuse, like within the relationship because you're expecting something from someone that you're not willing to give yourself, and you're not being honest with that person. And that's what's really the

problem with that, and that's why cheating is bad. But a lot of people, even you know, guys that say they want that or say they want to open relationship, most of the time they're still really insecure and they aren't comfortable with their you know, significant other stepping out on them with their women. Were you did mean that when you wanted her to sleep with other men? But did you want it because you wanted to other people? I mean, I both both, but I wanted her to.

I wanted her to see that she could fun someone else and it didn't negate everything in our relationship, and I wanted her to see that wanting to suck other people doesn't mean that I don't love you. Um, but it was kind of weird because she was mostly interested in sucking women, and I just thought that was hot. So I wasn't really I like that answer though, because no, when so the guys that you're dating that are married,

that's what what are you thinking right now? Because I was trying to say it as he was on that topic, because I know what I want you to cut them off and I didn't, and I didn't actually you cut me off. So I was trying to relate exactly since this was supposed to be. I hope you guys are fine, because this is going to be bouncing off of each other conversation, So please don't feel like we're all interrupting

to Jesus, I was trying to. I'm just saying I was trying to relate it right as that he was bringing it off up in each other like we were trying to. You were trying to tell a difference and what he was talking about in terms of him wanting to step out of his relationship but completely still be in his marriage because he had those um sexual connections, the emotional connection, the friendship with his wife. Those are

the type of men that I have dealt with. They're not they're not with me looking to leave their wives. They're they're completely happy in the relationship they have with their wives. But there may be something, whether it's sex, whether it's a conversation that they like having with me more than you know. It's literally like and I won't say his name, but there's one and we're able to bounce off ideas as far as businesses. He's very creative and what he wants to do, and he genuinely just

likes those conversations with me that he knows. He his wife maybe either doesn't care about doesn't know the business he just doesn't have he can't have those conversations. Where do you ever feel at that point? Because that would be my issue, and maybe that's because I am a more more emotional person than you do. You ever has there been a moment, honestly where you felt used? So I'm not gonna lie if and I've told this to many,

many women who choose to deal in this. If you choose to deal with a married man or a man who is taken, I don't feel like you should ever go into it thinking that you can take the number. And that's the thing. I don't think you have to necessarily think that for you to then feel to use. Well, I don't feel used because I make it benefit me. So I enjoy the relationship, but I make it a monetary game. I'm not gonna lie. I sit here and tell man like you married, she's kept, she ain't gotta

worry about bills, how she's living. If you want to build that relationship with me, I need you to do that for me. So I need to know if I need tuition paid, you got it. If I need my bills paid, you got it. I'm not getting into a relationship that I know essentially cannot go anywhere emotional without a benefit for me. So I'll sit here and say like, Okay, I don't mind having this arrangement that you want to bring about, but I'm also not gonna see here and

just be someone emotional like it's gonna cost you. And so that's kind of you know how I bring it's because then you're communicating honestly, you're telling them what you need out of the relationship, and you have that back and forth with them. And I've had like even with with Crystal, We've talked about it, and there's been guys that have approached her and when she brings up the money, they're like, no, I just I just need me girlfriend number two? What the hell is in it for the

other girl? Besides sex? I could go funk someone who's single, and it could potentially be something for me to start something with someone who doesn't make sense? Um, do you think that that's because you know it's a lie? What have you met a mary do that it was an open relationship? I don't believe in coming in as No, no, no, no, I'm not talking about with his wife. No, what do you mean an open relationship? Talking about a guyship. I'm

not even saying pop Polly. I'm saying like a guy who's like, hey, me and my wife are both open. It's okay, insecure. I can date you. My wife dates other people. You don't have to ever see my wife Like, I'm open. We can go out, we can hang out, we can do everything. I'm not lying with you still

you still feel like you need a gain. No, because essentially, if I get into a relationship with somebody and route I want to possibly have kids, I want to possibly get married if he's already married, right, I do hate kids. But no, I honestly, at this point in my life right now, I don't want it. But I'm not gonna open. I'm not gonna get I'm not going to get into a relationship where the door is closed on growth. And essentially, if I'm coming in in an open relationship, there's still

a door that's closed to me that we can't go past. Essentially, So no, I wouldn't get this has never happened to me. And during the show, but I have two peace so bad, that's fine. I want to bring up this next part that you and James could go in, um so, just to start it off before I go to the bathroom, James brings up that you don't like men on the d L a lot, and I think finds a contradictory because there is deceit in that, but there's also deceit

with the men. You're trying to start a fight with us right before you get you know, I I love this conversation to be here, how do you feel like it's Yeah? So okay, basically I'll say my thought on such um. I do talk to a lot of men who dip and dabble but are are open about it to me. And when I asked them, do all of the women in your life know that you're like this? They say no. I do have an issue with that, more so on the health to the and essentially them

lying to themselves married men. I don't believe in monogamy, so essentially, if he's not with me, he's gonna be with somebody else anyways. Okay, but if your issue is with honesty and being honest with yourself, a married man who's a straight married man who's cheating on his wife is being just as dishonest with the people and his wife that are like that are closest to him and himself as a guy that's doing the same thing but

with guys. Yeah, But like like I said, so when it comes to marriage, and I've said this actually a lot on the show, I don't believe one person is meant to be with another person. So in this sense, there's the commitment of marriage that you guys have this relationship, he's stepping out of the marriage and essentially being with other women as he chooses. I feel like this is gonna happen regardless. It's the same thing with you think it's happen, regardless that guys are going to be with

other guys they are. What are you talking about? Do you think it's inevitable that guys are gonna be with other guys so they can not share it with a woman if they want to. I think if they're being with other guys in that place, and they should share it with the woman. If they I don't think they're they have to share it, they should share it with the women. I think also like people who deal with homosexuality are dealing especially you know, in in poorer communities, especially,

you're dealing with a lot more discrimination. She's dealing with a lot of complicates. Taken honest, catch up, No, we're just talking. He was talking about coming out. I think that you know or being open about your sexuality or who have you fucked in the past, possibly whether you

know those men or women. I don't think that straight people should be telling gay people or queer people when they need to be coming out of the closet or when they need to be honest about stuff because they don't understand what people go through when they actually come out of the closet and that, you know, the consequences from everyone in their life, from their family to their friends, to people at their jobs and their schools shifting on

them for being who they are and being honest about that. Like you don't get the same thing for saying, you know, I had sex with someone. But if you say, oh, I had sex with another guy, then now all these women aren't gonna want to suck you. They're gonna think you're whatever. You know, if if people are like that in that community, right, I'm gonna be honest with you men on the d L. When I was younger, I

used to be like, no, that's terrible. But now that I'm more accepting of dating bisexual, I mean, I mean my mind is completely open, Like I have no pe just against it anymore, I can't say that there is anything that fucking different. I mean, I'm accepting of it too. But even even with talking to so many men that have this lifestyle, I asked them, I'm like, well, you're so open with me, I'm accepting of it. If you possibly say this to another woman, she may be accepting

of too. But that's up to them. That's for them to decide, that's their life. They know that you don't like you don't know those people and what they're dealing with, and maybe you're right, but that's like you're not in the position to say that if you're not having dealt with them. So I am not allowed to feel this way about download men because I mean, I'm okay with cheating married men. I just don't see the correlation, asking

you what's the difference. I don't really see the correlation of saying they're both deceitful lies a lie people, they're both cheating on other people, they're both bringing up I'm not even talking about someone being in a relationship. I'm saying the to me when I'm talking about men on the d L it's the casual dating or you're sleeping

with men and women at the same time. I'm not saying like I'm talking about that, like you're spreading with a ton of different people, and you're you're saying a bunch of different things, Like you're saying a married guy who's cheating on his wife, you don't assume that he's spreading it. She mentioned men on the d L, I didn't mention a married man sleeping with him macause people

we're saying, is it contradictory because you think married. You don't find a big problem with married dating, right, because I don't believe in monogamy, so I feel like a man is going to do that. So why is it so much worse if they're on the d L, Because

essentially you're dealing with men and women. We talked about this when it came to but I don't see anything wrong with it, But I feel like it needs to be mentioned because just like we mentioned the transgender conversation and the same thing with a little duval going on the breakfast club. Even there, you trans people do not have any kind of responsibility or obligation to tell anyone else what they're what they are like, or what they

you know, what their situation is. And I'm saying this coming from a community where I'm friends with a lot of people who feel such strong emotions about the homosexuals. Now, I don't like that they do. But because you date buy guys, but then you also are uncomfortable with the d L party, I have never dated a by guy you're comfortable with by, I'm comfortable with um curious, by curious, I would say, not one who has actually had male like a penis in his ass. But clearly I've pegged him.

He was gay for pay, so I mean, I guess, but in his dating life he sleeps with women and he literally said it took him like even during the shoot. But would you have a problem. I just told him I wouldn't. But that's me. But the d L thing, then, why do you think the d because because I like that if I'm dating someone who's by, he's comfortable in him being by. And I know that if you say I'm not comfortable dating someone that's on the d O,

I don't think that's uh. You know that that's a legitimate that that would be that would be more so, that would be more so what I'm saying, And that makes sense. And there's a lot of people that And I like people owning their truth. So if someone if a guy is bisexual, I would be more liking to

the fact that he's owning his sexuality. I don't mind dating he's bisexual, but dating someone who's on the download who has you know, I agree like being honest and open about who you are and what you want is an attractive thing. It's a good thing. But the reason that men on the d L are there is because they face a lot of conset. And I one thousand percent understand that for you and what you want, then

that's understandable. But to say that that's wrong or morally wrong, or that's you know, lying in a way, that cheating on a spouse in a straight way is not Oh no, no, no, no no no. I've never really correlated the two together or one being a lesser of evils. But for my preference, I dislike the d L thing. I would love for a guy to own up to his sexuality and he's bisexual and like sick, he likes sick, whatever. But that's

kind of my take on that. I guess, um, I don't want to see here and speak for everyone on being download is wrong and being married and cheating is not as wrong. I don't want to do that, but my personal feelings on it is that, and I'm glad we kind of got to an understanding where I am with that before we get into like the final topic, which I know we wanted to bring up with with masculinity.

I want to talk really quick about open relationships because, as you guys know, I'm in one, and so there's times where I'll talk about it, and you know, my group chat with my friends with James, one of my closest, it's all of us, and I will say things where I contradict myself. I like that you go on a date, but I don't like if you like her. Yeah. But like so, we we were having conversation, we were saying, our open relationships really that open because there's so many boundaries.

What do you think in open relationship and its most ideal perfect form is well, I mean, I don't know that there's an ideal perfect form for everyone. Everyone was greatly different. But I think ideally it should be based on communication and consent and being honest about you know, what both people want and what both people are willing to do to you know, make the other person happy.

But I think a lot of times it can be hard with open relationships because there's just there's still a lot of deception going on, and there's still just from what I've seen, deception like what what do you mean, well,

deception like and manipulation like they'll say that. Usually the way it works is they'll the guy will say, let's have an open relationship, and the girls like okay, because she wants to be with him, and then he is sucking a lot of other people because that's what he wants to do that he may or may not be telling her about. But and if she he's telling her that she's, you know, able to have an open relationship.

But if she ever does, then he'll be like weird, passive aggressive and make her understand that he doesn't like it without owning up to the fact that you can't handle it because you think that men bring it up because they want to. Absolutely, I think it's a lot

of times it is. But I'm saying that as a person that you know, believes in like polyamory and non monogous relationship, Like I don't believe in monogamy, but I think that a lot of times still, you know, people are assholes, and that's kind of how if you got married. I got to look out for that and make sure that it really is equal. And a lot of times it's not. A lot of times of the women do have an issue. And I even have noticed this in the swinging community. Um, going to the beach and just

talking to different couples. Um, the men have sex, they have three suns, they bring women in. He's able to fund other women. But there's you're not sucking another guy. I can't look at you the same if there's another dick going inside of you. And I think a lot of black men specifically have that issue where it would be kind of an ego trip for them to see them their wives or their girlfriends or someone being pleased. Not only that men are macho, men are mascu, men

are providers. Men don't want to think that a woman has to go elsewhere to get pleased. So I think an open relationship is very hard for a man to accept. They don't want their women stepping out getting pleased by other men or women. Yeah, in mine, I realized the only time lover boy got extremely not i'm not gonna say extremely jealous, but the one time where you fucking

admitted it. I slept with this girl and woke up in the morning, told him about it, and I mentioned how we were on the couch, we didn't even take off our clothes, and I fucking came and it was amazing, and I was like it was so fast, was so good, blah blah blah, and he didn't say anything for a few minutes. He's like, Okay, you know what, I'm sorry, but that was too much and that was with a female, and I realized, you know, he apologize, And I think it's because it was like you get into your own

ego of do I make her come that fast? How come in with so good? And I think what happens with women in in my open relationship. We both enjoy it because we like the open and honesty and we like having one person there for the emotions and then everybody else is just kind of fun. But with women, they're not they're a little bit inferior. And he's never said that a vocalized it, but I think that's how a lot of men feel when women other women. I mean,

she's not gonna replace me. There's there's a lot of women too that are you know, primarily straight, but they like to fool around with women or have sex with women sometimes, you know, or it's a thing, but they're not going to be in relationship relationship. So if you're in that kind of situation, then the guy, because when

the men conversation come into play. It's like we discussed it, but it is way harder, way more difficult, and it has to be those times where I'm like, Okay, so I want to talk to you about like I need to start this warning opposed to like, so let me tell you about this. So it's like, is it even necessarily open? If you feel like you have to tiptoe around being open? And he can send you pictures of the girls he's on dates with, he can because is

it really open? It's open because of the honesty. It's open. Fuck you, James got his motherfucking this, nigga. I'm gonna tell you why. It's still unclear. Oh wait, we're not in Florida. It's not set for hill Spring. It's open because I'm gonna tell him and he has to deal with it, but I'm not gonna front. I think the one thing that I do because of the security issue is I kind of sugarcoat and make it seem nicer and you still have the biggest stick. You're amazing, babe.

That kind of thing I need to do, whereas he doesn't really need to do that for me. Yeah, but on top of it, you're not fucking other guys. But you know I'm mind do I don't think you are. I really don't think you are saying you're running from You're only saying that because you think the guy. But if you're only the one at the gym, bro, there's a ton of them where you're like, oh my god, he's cute. I don't evenant to go on a date with him because I know I'm gonna him like you

don't want to know. I'm gonna be honest. Yeah, I am very like one man kind of woman. And even though the open relationship idea I'm enjoying because of the girls that I'm seeing and I love flirting with men and texting with them, going out and ship, I feel like if that sucked someone else, then I might just only suck them, And that ship scares me because I feel like then I'm ruining the rules of the open relationship.

That's why I don't feel like my need to come up with another word for this, because to me, open relationship is feeling okay to go out and suck other people. And just like he's not going to say that, I don't feel the okay on the other end. It's me. It's my own feelings and guilt or fear, but you were just saying you already have to sugarcoat it and do a lot of stuff. I do it, but I know that when you were girl at the girls, the girls,

I'm cool with the girls is cool. It was me coming too hard, crazy, But I mean the jealousy is okay. I can't not say dog his face. His face is a meme right now. Jesus Christ not Christopher is the shadiest friend. Um, you know what the women I don't. I was saying that one situation was the one time it sends to jealousy. But with women I don't as much because I said they feel and I think that they're more inferior in his head. But with men, I do.

And I don't know if it's because I'm worried about his feelings too much and I should just thank you I brought raised James, and I should just focus on myself. But even in my head, when it starts getting closer and closer and closer, it's harder for me. I think that with any open relationship, the communication and guidelines you to be set from the beginning, and I feel like

I'm not. Really I don't want to make any comments on you and your relationship, but I feel like it's something that needs to be kind of black and white, and I feel like there's a lot of gray area with a lot of open relationships, and I think that that's kind of what the communication is really hard on my point. You know, when I when I went to go visit him in Europe, we were in the car and I thought, Okay, I'm gonna say it right now.

This is the moment. We were in the car and I was like, hey, I just want to let you know that I'm back on bumble and I'm swiping guys and I just want to tell you. He couldn't even turn his face to look at me. He said okay, okay, was like enough, and I know he didn't like to hear it, but he had to because this is what we agreed to. So that part is harder because the communication, it's like we talked about everything. When I talk about dude is like I, okay, I give this this guy

from the gym I number. Okay, so he's wanting to have his cake and eat it too. Yeah, it's hard, and I mean I understand, like it's hard when you're in a relationship to be honest with yourself about what you want from the relationship, because it puts you in a very vulnerable position. And also, we're like raised, everything in society tells us that romance and love is the

one thing that can actually make you happy. Like, that's what is really going to solve all your problems, is when you find that one person that loves you unconditionally and you love them, and when you're together nothing else matters, and you have that kind of you know, that great romance that one of lifetime soulmate experience. And so everyone kind of low key wants that and but doesn't want

to admit it, you know what I mean. So because when you admit that yourself that you want that with this person, then if they don't share that back with you, then you're The Other funny part about that you're saying that is because now that my thought process has changed, why they're from being friends with dub who dates couples or whatever. I used to always joke about the main chick thing being stupid. Now that's kind of what I want. I'm fine with. I like, as long as we can

just more establish that and I would be okay. With dating other people. Sometimes I think it's because we don't know what we're doing with our open relationship. But I don't really care about the other data because I know that our emotions are there. I know that there's no one else that tops that, and that's fine. Honestly, monogamy at this point, A hundred percent would be worse than that than me. For me, than this, I don't know if I could deal with that, because to me, I'd

be more worried about deceit. I'd be more worried about having to say my every move, not being able to flirt and do what I want or feeling that freedom. That would really really scare me. I don't even know what I would do what I had with with back home, like, oh my god, bro, if I looked at other it was like it was too much of a lockdown. So a hundred percent monogamy versus what I have right now, this is what I can handle, even though there's gray areas and I'm still learning. I don't know if I

could ever do it again in my lifetime. A hundred percent all the way through, that's a hard thing to do, maneah, And to me, like even more, you know, like I wasn't like I was really tempted. When I was married to monogamous, I wasn't like tempted. I wasn't mad all the time that I wasn't, you know, going out sleeping

with other people. It was just the fact that I couldn't or if something happened then I would be doing, you know, the worst thing ever in the world, if someone wanted to suck me and I sucked him while I was drunk somewhere out of a party or something like that. You know what I mean is that having the freedom to know that that doesn't control everything in your relationship doesn't reflect you know, everything that your love together, because rules are what makes I feel like it's what

just totally sucks it up. So the last thing I want to get into, um is gender, masculine masculinity, toxic masculine, Like, right, are you okay? Masculinity? Damn was that said, masculine? Dude? We got funked up yesterday, bro at that festival. So I'm just I feel like I'm Mandy right now with Raspy Boys listen, and it's like I'm moderating today somewhat like I know this is all different this is all very good. I guess we're giving you guys you know

over and honestly, I'm not comfortable with that. Is it's like I'm so dominating in my in my work and like always taking control with other things. I kind of like you running the show. Well, not only that you we we have a time set here, and I don't think sometimes you lose the concept of time, so just to just to keep the conversation going, and I'm trying, and I want you all to know, we don't have a producer. So not only are we talent, we're looking

at time, we're saying ads. Were we we actually outline our show? And I don't think people understand, like it's a lot for both of us. Other podcasts, I would never do it again. The only thing I judge now with podcasts when I think it's shitty is content. That's it. Like I don't think listen to Brilliant Idiots, which is one of the biggest podcasts that Chris is awesome. I

love they were all over the place. Sometimes they read ads, Oh I gotta go up, I gotta do this, and they get off track, and it never makes me think that they deserve less than five. Not that they bring is the ship. To sit in a room and make something perfect is really really hard. So I appreciate you guys for recognizing that we are trying and and we're trying new things like this, we are what we're six months. Oh god, damn, y'all are harsh with these comments like

y'all ain't only y'all ain't even got hold jokes. At the same time, well, bit, I don't know what she's gonna say. And then people loved our run of me things. Then it's like, y'all to me, now, y'all't even friends. I'm just like listening. I was talking to sit here and Route for the big girls, and it's like, well, you big and you talk about her being skinny, and it's just like she calls me a vixen when we

go out, look at her vixen back. But if I ever do skinny shaming and if I if I thick girl shamed, then I would be It's just you can't win. I was talking to about that last review and she was like, well, you should talk to her and tell her not to say things like that. Was like, I'm gonna be honest with your dude. I don't want to ruin the friend of Me vibe because it's real and

the banter is real. So if I start James making a face because there's times where I'm mad, but because you but you're sensitive and we know this, but I'm not gonna friend to stop all of it with suck

it up. And I feel like, and I'm sorry that we're going off track of this mascot contact, but I want you guys to know, like, I think this is something that kind of needs to be kind of talked about, because I feel like we're getting so many so much feedback that we're trying to please everyone and unfortunately, really, like I said, we can't please you all. Yes, I've talked over people and if you've listened from episode twenty on,

I've kind of worked on that. If you guys sit, if you listen from episode when Mandy still cutting people off, this girl said, Mandy cut people off. I'm on episode eight, bitch, we ain't fixed until episode twenty so you gotta keep going. I don't know what to tell you, asks like it's got to go back and ed. You you know, we can't go ed. There's time to people be like you get on me too much. I I get more annoyed what you're getting on me in our personal lives than

do on the show. Bro this, which is a really funny thing about it, because I'll read those things. I'll laugh at me, like, yeah, I get her, but they don't hear the things that i'd be mad about, and the things that you do on the show I could. I don't think I get that irritated about the only thing I did because when you called me from mysterious that pissed me off was so fine. That was the That was the only thing to say that Everyone is like,

let me just got so mad about the word. We're just to make the next episode short because I have to get this out. Promiscuity, by definition, is just people sleeping with people just to sleep with him. I don't think it has to do with quantity. I find that I have sex based on quality and the connections that I make with people. So to disregard the sex that I have just because you could call it free sex. I don't suck people because they're hot. I sucked them

because they're hot, they're mentally stimulating. I like the vibe about going on. I sunk people for that reason. And that's miscuity, means that you do that's not I think she read really deep into the thing. And I said this because by episode five there were five different stories with five different people at that time. You haven't met lover boy at this point, and you two girls and three different Well, you're talking about promisecuity, like you, you're

saying it's a bad thing to you. Assume you're assuming promisecuity. Go ahead, and you're on the show saying that having sex with a lot of people is not a bad thing. That's really one of the points you're saying. If you're being honest and in your sexuality and doing what you want, have sex with as many people as you want, have a gang bang. First of all, we should have got on Mandy, not me. We're friends. You should be on team.

You can't do that. You can't. You know. It's it's funny that you bring it up, because you have brought that up the most to me. And that's when I realized, Like I think me and Mandy talked about it too. Someone called us hors and like, wait, hold up, but wait, the name of the show is and I think that's well, that's what I mean, and that's the thing that I'm learning through. I don't want women to feel like they

have to feel shitty about the decisions they make. But to be frank with myself, when hearing that someone thought I was that way or would just sleep with anyone that did hurt me. I don't know why. I don't know if it made me feel too slutty right exactly. And you guys say that kind of thing a lot of times, and I want to bring it's real feeling. You talked about how you want to be with like multiple guys, but you don't. You couldn't because because you and I want, can I bring up a topic? So

you're not on Twitter, I am. I'd like to interact with a lot of our listeners. So I got this um tweet yesterday and I meant to send it to you for a podcast called Horrible Decisions. There's a lot of hor phobia on here. Why so much emphasis between you and sex workers? And I wrote back to her, I said, people assume, well, and we've talked about thinks that if you're you're a normal, everyday person, that you can't have crazy sex. And this is what I wrote

back to her. I said, because we want to show how working class women can embrace their sexual freedom just as anyone else can. People assume that only women in the sex industry are frequently are freaky and sexually free. We embrace the all women even though in corporate America. And I don't want to see here and feel like we're slush shaming women in the jays. Please please please reread us, because I want our listeners to not feel this way. So what do we need to do different?

I mean, it's not like super blatant or super obvious, but it comes through in the kind of some of the assumptions of the questions you got um one of the things when one of your recent episodes where you talking about, oh, like what are the what are the horror jobs? What are the whole jobs that girls are saying that, and it just comes off as like, oh, you know, or a lot of times you're asking like would you have would you date a porn star? Would you date a sex worker? You know? Or what which

is worse? And that's really kind of almost what it is, like a would you rather thing two horrible things? You know? And that's kind of the framing that it comes up as and like and and it's part of a thing, you know, a part of hor phobia. That's and even really slut shaming too, which is women that have sex for money or even to just have a lot of sex or are promiscuous, they're not worthy of love and like men can't you know, can't actually love. And that's

really it is. It's really fucked up because it's like that's a horrible thing to be, you know, but that's what a lot of women in that position are, you know, faced with, and a lot of men treat them like. And I think the thing is when we did the hoh jobs, I know we were coming from a place of teasing. And I know you wrote me about that in our in our group, Chad and said that I know we were coming from this place of teasing, like

because we call girls out, they won't own it. Yes, And that's why we loved Deep Throat so much, because she had her lethal lips, was so confident, so sexy about it. Um. But when we mentioned ho jobs, it's these girls that want to portray that they're doing so

much better in every other aspect. But also the other thing I want to say, and and my issue is even with the way you brought up to then responded to that tweet, you said, oh, well, this show, we're trying to show that normal women, even read girls that have regular jobs or whatever it can be. It can be sexually sexually free and her own sexuality. But sex workers just have a regular job like everyone else. They're not. I mean, it's not like they're not different. It's it's

a job. It's sex work is work, right, And I don't think I mean normal as in like or I mean, because I agree with her tweet, I don't think that we're coming from a place of like this is a outlandish it's just not your common job. That's it. Yeah, but exactly. But it's like a weird thing. And when you mean you think it about it, when you ask

them about it, it's not that uncommon. I mean, and you guys are saying this, but you're saying you're you're not sex workers, But I mean you have sex for money sometimes in exchange literally just talk with married yeah yeah, so I mean it's not not that if it's with a married man. So I mean, like it's not like you're from that. But that's what I mean, and that's what a lot of people will do. Is say oh, well, there, if there's all this societal stigma attached to something to

sex workers, they really shouldn't be. But if you're kind of in that or close to that, it's easier to say, oh, well, I'm not really a part of that now. I want to say normal, right, or everyday girl. I have noticed that in my lifetime, whether it's colleagues or people I run into, they think I'm crazy. They think I'm this wild person, right, And I want to show that I could do the same things you do. I'm relatable, but I could still have this crazy sex in my everyday life.

But sex workers can do that. But the majority of our listeners that we want to attract are these, whether married couples, average teachers don't want to attract sex workers or I think that the people to the mass that sex workers to me won't think this is crazy. I want to show people that the things that we do aren't that outlandish or wild. I think that finding someone who's a sex worker is going to be immediately more liberal opposed to the everyday girl out there somewhere in

the world that might hear this. I want to show that it's not that nuts. I love when at a doctor write me and tell me that she used the we vibe in the emergency room with the patient. Things like that, I want to come out more. So that's why when we say normal women corporate corporated like that, it's because it's not. It doesn't have to be a prostitute to go out and do fucking book hockey or have a gang bang or have a threesome. There's people

out here doing this ship all the time. They could be working next to you, they could be serving you in a restaurant. It could be anybody. So when I know we make that analogy that we're just trying to say that we don't have to be this porn star chick to have porn star sex because I think people think that living these crazy lives, we can't be working in nine to five Mandy can't be in school, okay.

But also what I hear you're saying was that if you're cular chick who does all these normal things, works five, goes to school or whatever, then you can't be a sex work. You can't be a prostitute. You keep saying you don't have to be a prostitute. I'm not saying. You know what, I mean, but I think that people attached the stories like this, don't They wouldn't They wouldn't think that, what's the craziest thing you've told one of the craziest stories, or me fucking that guy on Snapchat

and then make any other ways to eat me out. Yeah, I would my fucking co workers think that I could do something like that. I mean, that's the thing though, can do well that you have a money, A lot of people who knows anything about sex and what people do, knows that people keep. Can you not say that's kinky? Is that kinky or is that some regular ship? No, it's kinky. Well, I've had a lot of friends come

to me and it's like, oh my god. Like the fact that you two can come out and say that you do these things and express like your sexual It's made us open up and I feel like our conversations are maybe expected from people in the section industry because they have embraced their sexual freedom. They've done that. Unfortunately regular women and I don't even want to call us regular but okay, I'm not going to call us regular women who are not the majority. No women who are

not in the sex industry. That often times are not as sexually free with their sexuality, with what they do behind closed doors as opposed to a woman who does it for a living. To people say I can't talk to anybody like this, I can't. I've never heard these things people. I don't have anyone that like, who's going to admit this? That does mean we're in a different box. Bro,

you have to remember, I think that's bullshit. And I think saying these that sex workers are over in this box and we're over in this box, when I mean we are a different box. You're we're in a different box as to being more open minded. Are you going to tell me that people haven't listened to me or you talk about something. Wait, wait, you're saying you're in a different box and people that are mindset. Yes, okay, okay,

that's fine. I thought you were saying you're And that's why not for you to not understand what I'm saying. I think sex workers are in that box of being sexually expressive and whatever. I mean, the majority of people I don't believe they are. I'm sorry they're not. There's so that's why I mean, you're you have a podcast called Horrible Decisions, You're not like necessarily attracting the most like conservative like you are, but you're people that are

interested in that. And to the first of all, first of all, I mean, I am. I'm criticizing you guys, and I think there's something to be said about that, especially because you literally have the word whore in your name, which is a slur, you know, like it's something that you shouldn't say, and we did this on purpose, Yeah, but like you can say it if you know you're

you're a subject to that. And the truth is that you know, women are subject to being called horse, whether they are really sex workers or just for being sexual. So it it is used on both people, but it's used a lot more and in worse ways on actual sex well even when we were coming up with the name. I don't know if you remember, but even so, and I G love that we're talking on this about the title of the Shell because we talked about not liking labels. So you did say that horror is a slur. It

can be seen as a label. Women are called horse, So even adding the decisions behind it, you don't necessarily have to be a whore to make these type of decisions to something that you did could be seen that. I really like that people say they've done horrible decisions and had horrible decisions with their husbands or things like that, because I wanted to be this thing as you can listen to this and it doesn't have to be and

that's why we've said we're not sex workers. It doesn't have to be strippers or prostitutes or escorts or porn stars to have done ship like this. You can do it too. You can go out and get on thrinder and meet what You can have these moments in your everyday lives, even if you're not open enough to say it, or you feel like you could have never done it, you could. That's why I think we try to say, hey, this is for you too, because I mean, yeah, and so, like I said, you guys do a lot of good stuff.

And there's a lot of sex positivity on this podcast, and I'm very four and definitely a lot of peop we're listening to it and opening up and it's mostly really good. But there's also sometimes where you talk about it even in the name horrible decisions you're saying, but also you're saying they're horrible decisions like they're bad decisions that you're making and you're like saying, we're less but we kind of feel bad about it. It's crazy because

I don't think we like and we've talked. We've talked about this even as our outline. She's like, when we try to think of horrible decisions. Well, I tell her all the time, not only that. I was like, Bro, they don't have to be looked down upon, like we're um embarrassed about it. I said, it could be a horrible decision that we enjoyed. Like I talked about the sex in the in the club where I ate two bitches out and it could have been seen by someone

else's a horse. I enjoyed it. I wasn't embarrassed. I do it the funk again. So we've had this conversation when making outlines that because they're horrible decisions, let's not attach each once of feeling embarrassed or damn, we did that and we'll never do it again. Because I think throughout the show it's funny because we knew immediately when

thinking we do this podcast, were the perfect people for it. Whatever, And throughout it there's been things like there was something um I brought up a porn star that many slept with that did gay porn, and the second porn star he's a model that did porn one time because he could looking and he made the money for And that's

even the thing you know you're saying, you don't like, no, no, no, no, all. Second, the show was over, right, I just wanted to bring up this point when the show was over, She's like, what the funk? We weren't going to bring that up. So just to say, like somebody as open as you, and I think you're more open on the show than I. We all realize we have these little like why like

why didn't you want to tell you? Because episode whatever that was fairly in the beginning, and but it's our own And that's just the point to say, we all have these little subconscious insecurities that we can't let everything that's weird. There's things I you and me both haven't said on the show yet. They were like, man, not yet? Why is it the fear of being judged? Is it

the fear of being looked up more as horrors? And that's the thing that we're learning as we grow this show, like there are parts of us and which is why you hear mistakes like that where we still and I think it comes from being to corporate women that want to still be respected in that way, concerned with how you know other people see you, and in some ways

you're not especially you. You know. It's one thing I could tell from you the very first time I met you, that you didn't give a funk about what other people thought about you. You're gonna be yourself, but under that there's still some You're still aware, You're very sensitive. This is what it is. And now I know it, now that you've said it, I absolutely and like that when people meet me. But now the other people could judge me and I have to see it. That is really hard.

It is hard because I really don't care and see, but now that I got to read it, I'm just like and see. For me, I've been people said behind my back ever, but now that it's in my face is hard. And see I've seen it all the time, like I've been dragged, oh my god, on Twitter, on Instagram, on I've been on the social platform since two thousand nine ten, from Twitter, from modeling, from being a blogger, from then writing a book to you know, now having a podcast. So I feel like I always been open

to criticism and seeing it. So I've kind of had to make a harder shell than most because you haven't had this platform where now it's it's strangers, that's not just Orlando anymore. Orlando people sitting here and talk to you about behind your back and you don't know. We're not on a global platform where you have people who've never met you and they only know what we've said in an hour show. And it's just like, now you have people that think they know you, and now they

think that they can pass. I'm gradually upset. We had a review that said Mandy mentioned the good hair thing, and I got upset Mandy because I'm reading it, like, no, bro, this is Mandy. If anything, I wanted to make this podcast more of like open to anybody. She's like, no, this is going to be a black podcast, period, And I was like, do you really think it is? I mean, it was crazy because when I read it, I was like, now it's making us sound like we think we're superior

because we're mixed. Like you just never know what someone will take from what you say, and so you're right where I don't give a fucking my everyday life. Now that it's become this like business almost, I'm like I can't handle it. And unfortunately, like yeah there is and a right like whatever. Someone called me a horror who cares? But now you're like putting it out there with your user name, like you suck at this. But even in in touch too well, And I told you so. I

got really upset, even about the good hair comment. He was like, I think we should talk about this, and I said, Butch, I'm not talking about it. I I don't give a funk. Nobody say da dada, like I'm black and white. I literally cried the second episode or so, I had a breakdown because I wanted to wear braids because I was going to Miami. But I work in a very conservative, corporate America job and I am the only black person on the floor. Regardless of me being

half black or not, I'm black to everyone else. And I literally had a breakdown about wearing braids to work. So to see that this comment was you made a comment of having good hair because your mama was white, I was just like, I wear a weave, I wear braids. I have the same issues as anyone who's full black because I have these stereotypes. You know, I'm black enough, and so I feel like I was very hurt that

someone would even feel like we think we're superior. And we talked about she just asked for edge control, why she work out, how does she keep her edges down? So for someone to think like that, we're thinking we're superior about them again in the comments, and I think to your point and start like, we just got a

little too deep. We did. We think I still want this like one little piece of respect and to me my own securities with some of the more horrible things I've done, it'll be like, nah, you took it over the edge. Yeah, like you know, and it's stupid, but I mean, and and when and when it's like not to invalidate our feelings, but stupid to think that we could be so open with this name, with this podcast of putting it out there, but not that one fucking thing.

And still yeah, well, I mean, you know, whatever, if if it's your personal life that you're not comfortable sharing on the show, that's totally up to you, and that's totally fine. You shouldn't feel like you have to be totally open about everything about yourself on the show. That you don't owe that to anyone, but I think you

still you're coming out in your own head. The reason you're not comfortable sharing it isn't just because of other what other people will think about you, but you kind of feel like maybe it's actually not good, you know, like this guy for doing that, he wrote, He wrote, Weezy was like, so, are you just gonna whore yourself out for this podcast? Like this whole podcast? Yeah, yeah, you know you saw the comment. Yeah, he was just trying to get in your pants. That's really all that

was about. Because he said, oh, I know you got He was like acting like you care give a funk about what he thinks about you. He was just like, oh, he's like a rich successful men like me, like women that are open like you guys. But I don't want you to be a horror because I still want you

to be good for me. It's like, it was like, but I just I just think that when you guys have this kind of show, you know, with horror in your name and everything you're talking about, um, you know, being pro sex and open about this, I think you should also be really clear that you support sex workers and sex worker rights and maybe have like some sex

workers on here, so we have to do that. I know you have had some, but even maybe some that are really involved with like sex worker Rice and dealing with issues and like police brutality and police harassment and all the you know stuff that goes on with that. There's really some really good I'm really glad we had this conversation. Although masculinity sounded, you know, interesting, this was a really kind of Yeah, we're gonna have to bring you back on because I love looking at hippie Jesus.

Across the table there was a guy addressed to Jesus as at the at the Meadows, and I was like, you were doing it wrong, right for sure? Yeah. I I always mentioned James on this show. I think you probably heard me se he your name a few times where um, there's a lot of times where like people will say like white devils and ship like that. I used to too, but now I can't because I know James and rides a little harder for black folks that

I have probably do you can. That's the thing. I gave you even more permission to say that, Like I'm white, and I'm like, yes, they are, Like white white people are the devil. Yeah the trash. Well, I hold you guys enjoyed UM episode. This was y'all wanted over an hour. Y'all got over an hour. Guy, Damn, UM, here you go, probably only eight minutes over an hour, but y'all, UM, we're working on it. UM. Well, I'm really glad that we had this conversation. I would love to hear you

guys thoughts and feedbacks UM on this specific episode. I think everything on this episode with everybody's gonna like he read yours. Um, you guys can always um hashtag Horrible Decisions on Twitter. Clearly I keep up with it and I'm responding back to you guys. UM. You can also reach us on our Horrible Decisions Instagram at Horrible Underscore Decisions, and email us your wholemail. We ain't get through one this episode, but you know we love reading your things

and giving you all advice. So email us at Horrible Decisions at gmail dot com and where can they reach you? Just on Instagram and y'all can find me on Twitter and Instagram at full core Pumps. Thank you guys so very much. This has been another episode of Horrible Decisions. By Bye