Ep21: Dating Don'ts Feat Sam Whiteout

And that's about that's act. She walked away from me. I have no clue. Wait wait, oh my god, how old do you think I am? Wait? Where? Like I thought you were like maybe our Okay, you don't know this song? I've heard of it. Are you about to take away my white car? That's gonna be a new one? White card was gone. She literally was like, I have new cards. I don't feel like your name introduced yourself a sample out because you don't know I do. Oh yeah, Like,

oh my god, well I guess you've already introduced. I guess I almost like that was a genuine I don't understand. I don't know what I mean. We made it. We made it to the chorus and I eventually got it. Okay, um, guys, welcome to yet another episode. We're here again. I know you guys, like, well, they're not getting sick of us, just yeah, apparently all getting sick of me just a

little bit. So I'm gonna be working with you. Like, Mandy, shut the many, shut the up, Mandy, you're kind of bitchy is now they're literally because I have a lot of followers on Instagram. She really doesn't that a humble flex right there saying maybe, like I don't think so maybe. So they're leaving comments like we know who wee he is now, like I don't know why Mandy has to keep throwing shade and I'm just like this. I was a one time listener, now first time guests, and I

never got tired of you. I think it's a nice little balance, thank you, because they really don't like each other. So um yeah, So I'm really excited to have Sam because I like, a month or a month and a half ago, I'm on Instagram and somebody with a quarter million followers, I'm like exactly, but it was a screenshot, like these girls are hilarious. I'm dying, I'm crying on the sidewalk. He posted it like two times, and I'm like, who is this guy? And then yeah, I remember your

videos and we all love you for it. I'm Sam white Out, or at least I go by Sam white Out. My last name is actually white. You'd be surprised how many people don't know that. No, I wouldn't have guessed. But yeah, So I was walking to the movie Theater of all places, and horrible decisions got like thrown in my group chat. I'm like, let me give it a chance. I wonder what they said when they sent it in a group chat A guy, so it's all guys in

this group chat. Yeah. So I started listening to it and I was like, I'm legitimately walking down a d set in horror Lem and I'm like crying that I'm laughing so hard. So wait, quick, wait, well the first one, the first episode, it real quick. So a lot of our followers come from all walks of life, all all over the world. That makes so explain what looks like while you're walking down I live in Harlem, which used

to be used to be a black neighborhood. Gentrification. Sam's there, now, Okay, whoa whoall technically you don't count because you didn't even like the main sort of like center thoroughfare of Harlem. It's where the Apollo Theater is. Fat, It's just it's just where everybody is. Where there's mad like street vendors with incense and T shirts and all kinds of stuff. And I here I am walking down the street normal, yes, mad African oils. I always smell great when by every

time like is this we or we set? You know what? It's probably probably So here's this white guy walking down the street in the Harlem like a prominent black neighborhood, and he's in tears laughing at our show. I love it. I'm I was super excited, super excited. So what we like to do since you are behind on listening to someone, Well, now let's hear about your first Oh okay, yeah, we're gonna give you. What do you want to know? We just we wanted to know about your dick, That's what

she meant at first. But no, no, no no, actually around how would you enture yourself like for those who don't know you? Even though so for those who don't know me, my name is Sam white Out. I'm from New Jersey. I went to school in Philly and I'm a brother of Cap alphasde Fraternity Incorporated, which is a historically black fraternity. So how did you get in? As I mean, I guess they can let anyone in at the Divine Nine,

which are the Nine. Uh. Historically, black fraternities and sororities are some of the most diverse organizations on their campuses a lot of times. And part of that because you have not only folks from all over the black diaspora, right, You've got African folks, You've got Caribbean folks, You've got um, you know, Black American folks. You've got all kinds of people. But also these are exactly the organizations that were founded on the idea of not discriminating against other people. Right.

So if you are about that life and you do your work, and you do good work for the community, and you've got the grades and all that stuff, and

you know, and it's a good mesh. Like I've never heard of a divine out organization, you know, turning someone away because they're white or they're actually wanting to I was going to ask you what made you choose Kappa and I right, you only gonna get you the Simmy, But what what what made you choose to be a Kappa over any other organization that may have been prominently white? I mean, how so I went to Villanova, which is

a profoundly racists. I mean, like basically Villanova is like, uh players, Villanova has every problem that you can imagine that that the States has, like as as a country Villanova has on campus. Right, So how did you get turned out? You black girl? Like? What happened to make you join? Okay? So the best think he's been down for a while, But I think I think it's much

less about being down, first of all, its second of all. Um. So, I mean the best way I can describe is that all the conversations that most not all, but most white families don't have, we're normal in my in my family, at my dinner table. Right. So, like I grew up watching Sydney Partier just as much as I grew up

watching like even Stevens, right, um. And so I think that put me in a position where I was reading things and sort of like the idea of talking about things and experiencing things that were different from me wasn't weird until I get to college and I get to Villanova, and I'm like, holy shit, like, what do you mean? Of course this is my friend, I've known him forever. What do you mean I'm not? And you know what, it's not even like that, because, like I I grew

up in an overwhelmingly white town. It was just the idea that people could be so deeply profound racist and sexist and all this combination of ship Ulva near Elizabeth, but but is in Pennsylvania just ouside And like I mean it started where I mean, I had a particularly unpleasant first year. And the way I said is that, like I wasn't a fan of Villanova, and Villanova wasn't

much of a fan of me. Right, So what ended up happening was after a first year of all kinds of bullshit with with some stuff that was both affecting me personally as well as stuff that didn't necessarily directly impact me. Um, you know, I got a new room. There was this whole thing. President calls my dad to apologize.

All this ship goes down, right, the president of the school, and then uh, sophomore year, Villanova uninvited a speaker from campus because he was gay, right, and there was this whole uproar and there was this panel, there was this whole big thing. I ended up finally finding all the other bowl on campus who actually gave a ship, right, And that's really when I started getting involved. And at the same time, right at the end of my freshman year,

I met my best friend Josh. And then Josh disappears. Josh is black. It couldn't want to be the right he could have been Jewish, so I mean Josh and then Josh up and disappears, and I'm like, you know what, this sucks, But I'm not all that surprised because you know, I didn't because of my first year. I did not get necessarily as much time to go out and like make friends with other people did because the problems with my roommate and his you know, Nazi friends and all

that ship. So the thing is Josh disappears. I just want to say that again. So this is like recent, this recent young people are oh absolutely, And so then Josh reappears in like October. He's like, yo, Sam, oh my god, I got so much to tell you, Like I really funk with you, but like and I'm like I'm like, bro, like where did what? Like are we friends again? Like what's going on? He's like, yes, so I was becoming a CUE and you're cool. But like we didn't know each other like that, so I couldn't

really tell you. But like now I'm the bras, it's lit like, let's have a good time. And that was how I became best friends with all the cues, uh and really kind of my circle at Zonova and these are the dogs, right and then okay, and then I met the nups through that, and it was just it was one of those things like when I met the nupes, like by the end of the night, we kind of look at each other like, m are you are you

thinking when I'm totally a few NUPS cues. Yeah, knows my name, No, my my my ex was a Kappa. So that's how I was like, well, yeah, I guess he is. He's not no longer in college. I want to get too. How everyone knows you? How are you so popular? Sure? So basically I'm white and I can

find the beat and basically that's right. We we we would make stroll Deo was me and my line brothers, and mostly we made them because we were making so many strolls up after school and stuff that were like, we couldn't remember them, so we would have to make the videos to remember them. And then we realized the videos were kind of fly, so like oh, ship, like, let's put this on Instagram and then it blows up.

And then a couple of months later, I was in Boston hosting an event with the Noops up there, with whom I was really close, and someone takes a video, which at that point was kind of normal when we're strolling an intermission. The video when she posted to Instagram automatically posted to tumbler. It was linked back to my account. It goes viral, boot makes sense, and then like Nicole Bitchy posted media take out. That's how old it was.

I felt like, so just to tell you, like today, I looked you up a little bit just so we can ask you questions. And once I googled you and then saw TMZ and they're like calling you the coolest wike I ever and then I'm like going, I'm like shot shout out to my homie Van Lathan. I didn't it didn't click to me that that was you until I saw that video like in auditorium. That was the person I ever saw, and I was like wait what, Like it just didn't hit me, and so I was like, wow,

it's just crazy how I remember? I mean, who didn't love you? Like? And it's funny because we talked about cultural appropriate appropriation so much and watching that video it felt nothing like it, because like you're in the mix and it's like you were just well, I think more importantly than that, it's that when you know, I didn't join Kappa to shimmy. I didn't join Capita to get girls.

I joined Kappa because it made perfect sense with the work that I was doing on campus, and these guys were, you know, the kind of people you want to be surrounded by. And then when I was gifted this platform strength strictly off the fact that I was white, I said, okay, well let me use this as an opportunity to talk about this ship that matters. Right. That's when Bossip started

talking about it. And I think that's when people kind of said, like, oh, ship like because honestly, like the videos of like white people doing dance as well as a diamond does and you'll see it on World Star like once. Right, Yeah, And so I think that what I've tried to do and what I keep trying to do is like use that platform for something actually matters, particularly because this is the stuff that I've given a ship about long before anybody cared what my Instagram was.

Oh yeah, because bro, we have so many social justice warriors and I'm like that you were a whole last week, so now you could be a whole and be a social justice person. No, no, no no, no no. What I'm saying is I feel like I'm a hoe in a social justice person. But what I'm saying I feel like some people try to take on this new personality of protesting and the result being woke is cool. Now, it's

definitely people like hotep best. It scares me. But see but see that's not even Look the word the word woke is is getting all kinds of funked up because people hate it out. Yeah, but like Hotep isn't woke hoping. Hotep is just sexist and misogynist and like it's so scary you don't know what it is? What is hotel? It's like, wow, I should not be the one paraphrases what hope that? Sam White? Backup? Okay, Hotep is like

it's like a it's like a faue pan Africanism. Okay, you know how they were like the Egyptian earrings and ship and they're like, so like we're talking about coconut oil, Twitter, We're talking We're talking about We're talking about the parts of Twitter that's say like white people aren't real, like not even that, like oh, our beautiful black queens need to stay stay subservient, that type of But I've seen them.

They're like white people aren't real. They're genetically modified like ship like that, bro, Like it's scary as like we have to procreate with each other because white people are taking us down. And don't get me wrong, I also believe that, but but I have too many walk white friends. Bro. The ride for black people harder than me. So yeah, like I'll say some things about Nigga sometimes and James will have to come to me and be like, bitch, are you nuts? And I'm like, oh, let me show

my black as. Oh no, it doesn't. You meet white people that are like that. So I can't tell you that. I really believe all white people are the devil and like Hotep ship is like ono, bch hell no, they're the devil. Yeah, but they be on the train. See what let's just start talking about sex. Well, I wanted to go well, and that's what we were gonna say. I don't know if you've listened to a lot of when we've had guests, but what we like to do

is a have you ever? And um, So normally this you know, gets done taking shots and all that cool ship. But UM, gonna read off some questions and I tried to make them very basic. Okay, so this so hard for us to be basic when talking about we have to think on the fly and makes something a little bit. We're gonna make it spicy. Okay, have you ever had your tail sucked? I'm trying to remember. I think that's something you would remember. No, no, no, have you ever

sucked toes? Actually yes to both? Once. I don't like it? Which one? Both? No one can say that they're getting your toe sucked is not like an enjoyable experience, because we just said last week I almost kicked someone in their mouth. Hate it? Okay. I was kind of like wondering, like, Okay, what you're gonna do next? And I even said I'd rather look at ask than look at toe, Like you would rather like to go on record right now and say that that is not a leap. I'm willing to wait. Wait,

you're rather like one toe rather woman. And it was for like and a seconds, And you know what's crazy everything you just did. It doesn't matter if if someone said, listen, if I sit here and give my if I sit here and give somebody my pussy for six seconds, I can't take it back and be like, well, he only fun for six seconds. At the end of the day, you suck the toe, you looked to toe, That's what it is. Whether you look at asked for six seconds, whether you put a toe in your mouth for six seconds.

You can't sit here and justify it by the length of time and the fact that you were drunking it. Really, that's my mom, that's what she Well, just the tip. No, bro, you had anal sex. If you're traded. I feel like it says something though that I haven't done it again because I didn't find it to be an experience. But you would get your toes sucked again. I wouldn't ask for it. If she did it, I'm not gonna stop. That's not the same thing. Okay, have you ever had

a threesome? Absolutely both like um male male female and female. I've had one devil's threesome, as they call it, the one girl is that. I love that term because apparently, according to everyone else, that's a train. So no, no, no, no no, I heard that episode. A train is one person at a time, and then you said what I said, But no, a lot of people, especially well and I always hate community, like I hate that I say that, but with black guys, it's very kind of like if

you two guys at one time, that's a train. This devil's threesome, the fact that we both I think it's because the train makes a girl looks slutty, and people think when there's a male male female that's threesome that slutty. But you can enjoy the same thing too, So I don't really know why they do that. Okay, So I have a question in terms, I've had a quote unquote regular threesome too. You've had a regular three, which did

you enjoy more? Mm hmmm. I mean that one, the regular threesome, because I was the center of attention on that one. But see the thing that I'm really curious about, a lot of men try to act like they're not so into the quote unquote devil's threesome because they're so worried about being called gay whatever. But wasn't have the people think I am gay? So what does it matter? Do you like that? Did you let was she submissive to it? Or were you both all over her? Um?

I mean it was it was a six seconds no touche. No, it was more like, I mean, none of let's you know what I'm saying. It's like all of a sudden, she's like, oh ship, we are here, all right, let's were you guys cool for her? When she somebody's girlfriend? Whoa oh no, no, no, no, no no I met her that day. Oh okay. So speaking of this, we're going to go back to this college. It was my homie

and a girl we just met. Okay, okay, So being back to it was for the record, it was like very like healthy and normal and cool and like everything. It was nstoms are don't you think? No? No, no, no no, I'm not justifying it for y'all listeners. No, you know, condoms were used. Guys, like what do you did? You? Guys? Do dp? Okay? I feel like that's advanced. And so speaking of threesoms in college, a lot of things happened.

Have you been a part of a train. No, not really, Okay, I thought all you guys did that in college A lot of your friend is that not a college thing to do? Like run drain? It's definitely a college I mean, that's the thing just people do, I think when it doesn't happen as much, I mean, I think obviously college is one of those places where like winning doubt, you're like, fucking see, I'm gonna be honest, I don't think it's a train could happen to me now. It's too too

much in my head about it. I can't see. I can't even I can't even be I think it would be difficult, not even people knowing, but just the safety of letting like four or five men get me in a room. I'm too in my head about that. But in college I could see me being like, okay, fine, only Jeremy, Okay, fine, he can only bring Sam and the next thing, you know, Jamal that's it because and

then yeah, I think it. I think the problem is that there are so many ways in which a train can be like can turn into like a like a misogynistic environment. Like I think that that, more than any other type of group sex is absolutely like prone to like misogyny and kind of just like treating the girl like a whore, which is absolutely not the way that I was about to say, he's right, unless you're asking for it to be like that way. He's right because I think a lot of men are demeaning to women

that don't want to be that way. Yeah, I think, yeah, I think I think you would say three limit, like the training has to stop at three cabooses. First of all, I don't know what train only got three train cars, but I think so what we got his name? So these three guys and a girl. How does a foursome three guys actually? To be fair, I have heard that. I heard it's threesome, foursome orgy. Oh okay, now what have you? Then? I feel like the terminology is much

comment you had. The terminology is much less relevant than the fun you end up having. I was about to say, because that should sound fun to me, say like the other threesomes better. Okay, I get it, because you're interested more in the women. And okay, so my last question, I'm really interested. Now I'm not even gonna ask girl. It's only two questions? Was it? No? Because we got the dudes, indults. Man, they're gonna but I'm just making sure.

I'm just making sure. So I want to know. I'm assuming you've been with a black girl, but I want to know how many have you had? More than often not been the first white guy. I don't know. And

do you hate when they say it? Um? Because the only thing I hate actually is when people say, well, I love white boys, and I'm just like, wait a minute, like that just makes me feel I know, it just feels creepy, and it also feels weird because I think part of the problem is that so many white men are deeply problematic and and and particularly problematic with the way that they fetish saws uh you know white next

me uh, black and brown women. So it's like it's like to me, Um, it's not that it's as repulsive, but it definitely reminds me of how repulsive it is when I hear white guys say well I only fun with black girls or I really want to get a black girl or something like that, and it just it just makes me feel weird. Um. But I don't don't know if I've been the first white guy, mostly because we don't necessarily go through our sexual histories like I gonna lie. I definitely told the first of my guy

like you are his name. It couldn't get more white. It has happened, like I mean, it has happened where like we're in bed after sex and she's just like, I can't fucking believe I just had sex with the white man. I'm just like, well, we're here, no, right, So let me ask you this question because this is

how I get approached. Is it awkward for you or do you feel like you say awkward things in approaching a black woman, because so as as you know that I'm awkward around, but now I'm asking you what is the because when white guys approached me, I feel like probably questions this is a question for the wrong person. Well, I want to ask him because this is what else are we going to get a straight white You're in here, bro a question thinking because you clearly can't feel awkward,

like you're immersed, I know. And he's like, what do you feel like when you go to a white girls are weird? I mean, but so every white guy who's approached me, one of their first questions is you only date black guys? Huh? And I feel like it's maybe because I don't to me white guys like small, skinny, slim black girls, because that's what what white culture has

perpetuated for four d years. Right, So when a white guy does approach me, why, like the first thing that is said, like, you don't funk with white guys, do you? And I would work with white And I feel like I wasn't and I feel like I'm fetishized. I think I think that it comes from a place of deep um self consciousness and and and uncomfortableity with talking about race.

And I think it also speaks to the fact that like white people and white culture at large has this incredible difficulty like simultaneously saying that people are different from me, like saying you, like recognizing and appreciating that you are black and that comes with a whole list of things that are awesome and great and cool and culture and

all that stuff, and not fetishizing. It's like it's impossible for the white community to recognize that someone is different without making it weird or or not just weird, but you know, problematic and sort of weird. It's fun, Like it makes me not even be interested in talking to a white guy because in which I'd never have been with a white guy because of that reason. It's so generally are pretty shitty at flirting. Yeah, I'm not gonna

stay here and just give that. No, no, no, no. I just think it's I think it's wildly exacerbated when you add into the fact that so many white men uh aren't around black people, let alone black women, all too much. And then you put them in an environment where you're at a bar or something and there's alcohol, and then they feel like they need to say something like slick to get your attention or something, and they think they're probably being funny and cube and it's so

fucking awful. I had a guy tell me one time, like, um, what are you drinking? Can I buy you a drink? And I was like yeah, and he was like that's race. That is what happened to a friend of mine in a work environment where he was at he was our work happy hour, and somebody says his white colleague says to him, you know, can I get you a drink?

And uh and and my friend says yeah, sure, and he goes, oh, hennessy, and like, can you imagine being a working So wait, speaking of this, what do you like to do play basketball like this is so good out Wait no, but bro, so I just want to say I took work. I took my white co worker out with me last night. I went to the little movie party um and Hennessey sponsored after him. Do you know she asked me what Hennessey was? What? Well, we can't say no, but she had right she asked me.

She was like, I don't mean to ask. She was like, what kind of liquor is this? Hennessey to Seriously, every white people get nervous about something they whisper. Well, somehow that takes away from the this was this was an urban crowd. Well, this was an urban crowd, black crowd. It was a black I used urban a lot. It was. It was an urban crowd. And so listen, I'm not even a lot of you. They gave me my brisk

band and they had to get more risk bands. I felt like I had to stand there and protect her and make sure she got her guy there wriskband because the black girls was just gonna walk all over her. I knew her. They weren't like, you know, but do you know how bad it is? Okay, So, how you guys just said the thing about Hennessy. So it's we weren't slate and so they have all these games and all this stuff. Yeah, so we don't have a lot

of New Yorkers. So we're playing it's in Chelsea. Ye, it's in Manhattan, just like it's like white Girl Heaven. Well this was by the end of the night. Do you know what all of our urban friends were calling her? I felt to Panga, I feel like white white girls from boy this world. Well, yeah, we were sitting she didn't even know what was what was it her? What was the payas boyfriend's name? What was the main character's name. I'm about to man it was Ben Savage played by Bench.

But she was to whip all the boys into shape and there and all those different and it was my first love. I love. So like what you mean was assuming that you I haven't seen the picture every recently. I don't know. You know, all these child the stars are going wild. She's still bad. It's okay, Well, so we know you date black girls and whatever do you date white girls? I date beautiful women. That's right. Okay, when the last time you did a white girl, I've

never did a white woman. You've never diated a white girl. You've never did a white white girl? Yeah? Okay, what no, Okay, let's back up for a second. Um, I think good food. So I think part of it is if you think about the social circle in which I live, right, I'm not around white people all that. Yeah. For in my personal life, well what am I gonna bring this bit around? No more? More like and like people will ask like, well, you know, if you saw a bad white girl, like,

would you talk to her? Sure? Absolutely. I think that people hide behind this preference stuff a lot, right when they say, well, I don't like not like so and so, I just prefer this or that. I don't think the preference like, I don't think I have a preference. I just think I have a trend celebrity crush. Who would it be? Go, I'm like, shit, always, well no, it's

just the first one that comes to mind. And it's the first one that comes to mind where I know for damn sure that I like if seconds I pray for six fun that Oh my god, I felt like if Rihanna tried to talk to me, I feel like that's one of those moments where actually what would end up happening is like you just you just get endowed with like superhuman strength and like your best self comes and then you start shimming. I don't know I would want to tell you I love a shimmier. I don't

even know if i'd be able to. Well, what we like to do is then after this part, now we're going to get into our horrible decision section where we're doing today. Guys, we're talking about the dudes and don't of dating, And I think it was only right always staying here with a beautiful man to talk about baby.

You can't see, but I'm white, so I'm blushing, But to talk about the notes of dating, um, and we're gonna read off quite a few things, and we would just like your input on it, um and especially coming from you, what maybe females shouldn't do or that turns you off in the process of dating. Well, first don't of dating is don't as a man. I don't call women females because that just never goes anywhere. You know, positive you don't call them female women. Really, I don't.

I've never heard of a difference. I mean, I think that there's this trend uh which I think has a lot of merit where they by referring to women strictly by their sex. It's it's kind of it's I think you think it's too deep in and I don't know, like motherfuck you imagine a white hotep Oh my god, I mean I think a white hotel would have to commit suicide. Type is one of those like um, those like RASA hippies that are like, I really hope our listeners are as lost with this hotep words the funk

I am because literally google it. It's like ho hl e t e B my first one. I'm gonna start off with a band. Because when I sent Mandy this list, she didn't agree with me. The first one she sent me. I was like, bitch, what, okay, go ahead. I'm like a strong believer in men and women like, uh, like, you know you pay. I could pay, but I think men should never split the check. I think it is at tackiest fucking thing in the world. And then underneath

this I put women should always at least offer. Mandy was like, oh, don't if it's a trap, That's what I said. Don't don't pull out to Debby if you know you ain't gold white the Dead. No. No. My favorite though, was when they when they when they act like they're going no, when they like take it forever and they're like they're like whip out the water and then they're like slowly that's the way all day. I

just put it down. What happened working fuck is yours? Yeah, this is what she does, and I'm just I'm just pinning. Thing depends entirely on how long y'all have been talking. Letting your straight friend zoned and you're never getting the pussy no, no no, no. I'm with and we were together almost two years. There were times where like if we

got an expensive meal, I put a hundred in. Also, I've been in relationships with people who are significantly more financially well positioned than I am, and so all my nigas are. So I'm not bringing up my car. I don't give a fuck. Do you know what You're chat like a bear to mine? I wish you would think I was, but I'm saying it's been I've been in a situation where it's been the reverse where she makes a hell of a lot more money than me, and

then what happened to that? So we talked about it, like we you know, I would get like the first round to drinks. No, we the same age. Uh, I would get the first round of drinks and she would like cover dinner and then I'd cover an uber or something like we it made sense together. But that was also like even you know, Mr fucking progressive Sam, I absolutely covered the first couple of dinners just because I just I didn't know if she was going to feel

some type of way about this or that. So more often than not, I think in the beginning, the guy's either going to buy pressure or because he wants to or whatever, is going to cover everything. But at some point you got to have a conversation because I mean, like, for example, like I was living in like I just wasn't making enough to be going out to dinner in New York City or York. Of course you know six figures, I'm poor, so yeah, and I was like, Uber, there

in is about a hundred dollars. I don't care if you're paying for the food, Like I think it depends on how long you've been talking, and also about like communication and all that ship from from a guy perspective, real quick, I want to make sure we sum up at everything at the end. So summing up, you don't like the ladies to fake pull out the debit cards. So ladies, would that be a don't on a date? But do you really not thinking? No? No, So I should clarify. I don't like it when it's clear that

you're taking forever because you don't actually want to. I think I have no if someone wants to be generous and like, there are times where like if it's um, I don't like. I have split the check before. More often than not, I never put myself in a position where I wouldn't be able to cover it. Do you the check when you're genuinely interested on somebody in somebody on the first date, on a first date, you split

the check that I'm not gonna find. That's kind of but you also run the risk of getting played sometimes because that's where like the whole like more often than not, I think the nice guys people just have to pay the risks. What are you gonna have a refund? Like I asked me for one? Oh yeah, we talked. We talked about on the show that guy asked her can you just square cash be the dinner? Last night? I said,

go fund yourself, buddy. I I got played once in New York city when it came to like I realized after the fact, I was like, oh, ship, she was just using you for me, and like no, no, no no, it doesn't even matter about the sex. It was just like, oh damn, Like she just wasn't she hungry? Probably not buying groceries. And I was like, I was like, okay, did you want to eat? She will wherever we going.

I'll tell my home girls to do that. Though sometimes I'm like, if if they get hit on by some guy, they don't feel like they're comfortable saying no, I'm like, right, because especially if like if like you know, when girls are obviously you know, we're like, you know, so often girls are putt in a position where they feel like they can't say no or can't like not give the number, and especially with how crazy guys can be like that, right, and so at that point, I'm like, all right, cool,

like sort of charge that parts of the game, then get your dinner, then bounce, you know, and that way, like I've had girls tell me like it kind of makes up for the fact that it was like, well, I didn't really want to give you my number in the first place, so I'm gonna eat this at what's one of yours? Okay, ship, okay, Um, you need a minute, I can get one. Mine are like corny, it's okay. So I think that it's people a lot of times.

I think you should don't confuse honesty with cruelty, right, So, Like, I think people too often think that, well, I'm just being honest is an excuse in like a romantic relationship to be an asshole, right, Like, there are ways to successfully and clearly communicate things without being a dick. You know, that doesn't mean that I told that guy I'm genuinely not interested. I'm sorry, yeah, and he was like, you're

a horse. Yeah. I feel like a little bit of upset is normal, like if anybody's gonna be hurt when they get you know, curved. But I think that there's a difference between Like, in that case, right, he is completely in the wrong. He's being an asshole because you were cool about it, So I could understand him being pissed, but not obviously there's no cause to go that far. But I also think sometimes people will hide behind honesty to be petty and obnoxious, and being petty in relationships

never fucking works. Actually, one of my rules I had on here was when it's over, don't start with the bashing, Like, look, if you fucked with me two weeks ago and now we're over, now suddenly you think I'm this terrible person, Like, what does that say about my if that was on you, what does that say about my judge judgment of character? Like I didn't know a week ago. I like that. I just think, don't be petty and you actually you had an honestly one on here. I'm reading your list now, Yeah, said,

honestly is key? Like they save the petty when you're venting to that one or two best friends when you're still mad and they get over it talking about you everyone I know except you. Okay, Well this is actually honestly why More like, um so I put an example under each rule that had in mind was key, and I put if you run into someone you fucked just yo, that'ship.

Is blowing my mind that people are weird about that, Like if if I've seen you naked and been inside you, we need to be normal in public anything, If anything, there should be more of a reason why we should be cool because we literally know each other better than strangers. Well, no, I mean the honesty part is like, if you're with some else and you see run into someone you thought,

people get super weird, don't get weird. I was going to bring this up into if you're dating someone and you find out that they're friends with someone you fucked in the past, do you tell the person you're right? So what do you do in that case? And do you feel Because I've had that happen where I'm dealing with a guy and I sucked his friend before I even knew who he was. Me and his friend had sucked and he literally held it over my head, And

see if that's so fucked up? You know, I think, like relationships are not about leverage, right, And I think that like, in the situation that I could call I was in, I was the friend, right, I was the friend who had who had had sex with shorty before starting, and he and I talked about it, so it was cool. I have no idea if they talked about it. I think that they probably should have if they didn't or whatever.

But like, I think that it's so weird to me if you are comfortable enough to have had sex with someone and then you make ship weird. It's just wildly unnecessary. Now, are there situations in which it kind of can be a little weird, Like if it's like you say that, I'm just gonna interject because what happened to me? So the girl that I was dating, oh, you have listened to this. So the guy from the missing Condom episode dated him for a few months. One of the first

people I started. No, my ex girlfriend and him matched on bumble And now that they're talking is she feels the need to ask her about him. So on the plane from Europe, right this is a few days ago, and she sends me this text to me. I feel like this wasn't a question, not that she needed to ask me, because I don't believe in anybody stopping your love or what you should have going on, you know what I mean. But this is what she says. Hey

matched with your handsome friend. Ha ha, so funny. He invited me for dinner, but I have school, so we're going on Friday. I really liked him when I saw him and you introduced us. Wait, that's your ex. Your girlfriend texted you that about a guy used to like, right now, I am dating someone else. Flying You're up every fucking month to see him, Like until he comes back to New York. So I'm into other people and

I'm not there anymore. But I still felt like, did you do you know how she just casually dropped that she's just like flying you know? No, no, no, no, okay, no no. I think I just flex like Mandy does it he followers. She could have right, But the thing is, though I will be honest with you. I think for me to have told her no, there should be no weirdness. It didn't work out with him and I. She's more of an introvert. So is he think I get along better than her? And I didn't. I think being honest

with me like she did was good. I would have wanted a little more, you know, like, hey, are you cool with this? Instead of oh, we're going out Friday catch eight pm. But I definitely wouldn't ask if you're cool with it because I don't care. But I think that it's one of those things like, hey, hey, just want to let you know I want to put on your radar. Actually, I take that back. You're right. I

don't think she should have asked me for a permission anyway. Um, oh all right, let me go for the number three. I really like I don't even know if this is three, might be six seven eight. Leaving toothbresh or items and getting too cleaning. I'm so tired of men telling me about women that do this, that just push it on them. Leave little things in their car, take these side pictures so you know it's their apartment, or like their wrist

or like their shoe. I think it depends. I think it's I think it depends how long they've been dating. But I mean, I don't leave stuff. I'm like more of a thief. Like so I'm gonna take your basketball shorts. Oh like the hat this guy loved, Like this guy this guy recorded the last time we recorded, the maroon had I had with the face on it. No, ya loved it over and I loved it, And now it's my favorite hat and he's not getting it back. You know,

it's weird. I haven't had that happening. Oh no, no, no, I haven't had cleaning is come in the form of leaving ship behind or taking side pictures or whatever like that that has happened to me in the past. But like I just I think part of it is, you know people, you've got to be able to figure out our people talking to you because they want the status and won't be able to tell their friends that this is someone I'm talking definitely happens with like popping people. Bro,

That's what I'm saying. I'm talking to people don't care about regular people. You tell me chicks. I've never like they had to have done it with you. I know I've had shorties twice take a picture of me while I was asleep. Who did they post it? No, we definitely didn't get that far because I had a little like spice Sins go off like wait the funk up? You know, and I was just like I was just like like why you can get overly cleaning or start assuming that things are going faster than they are, Like

I feel I feel like I hear about it. Way to communications just so much so important. I also think, I mean, we should absolutely have this under the umbrella of like a lot of men are trash and like really take advantage. And I think that that like, what are you saying You're supposed to be sticking up for

the bros. No, No, I'm saying that, Like, um, I think what sucks is that so often, uh you know, you have like a breakdown of communication and there are ways in which, like gender norms can come into play in a way that's really fucked up and that you men don't like to explain what I interject for a second communication? You mentioned, Um, it's crucial. What do you think about the question what are we? Women? Asking that? Oh? Good question, because I'd be asking what are we? What

are we doing? What are you doing with me? What is this? Okay? You just keep coming over and sucking me, And now we're going from dinners to take out what are we? But then people are and women are scared to ask men what they're do. You know what answer I get? Chilling? That is a great deflection. Does that mean we're just having a good time? And I am so over that answer? Men need to we we There needs to be a new title, I guess in the genre of boyfriend buddy friend, like how I got to

me flying my ass out number two? I was like, well, you know what I'm telling you talk about let's talk about let's talk about it. Oh really, we can talk about it when you get back. Maybe we should talk about it what you're here? But then what don't we doing when I'm neck and what happens when I leave like men love to keep a female in limbo, and I want to ask you because you seem like you

probably have a women. I have no idea what you're talking so for for a man, what makes you go from taking it to we're talking, we're dating, we're together, And what is that in between bullshit where you're treating me just like your girlfriend but I'm not. Okay, A couple of things. One, I am absolutely like a hopeless romantic. So I this is you know what this is the white party, Sam. No. I just think I don't know.

Like part of it I think is that, uh, you know, being nice to someone and like not being an asshole can easily be misconstrued as like doing the most. So for example, like you know, if I excuse me, like if we're fucking, why would I not like include you in what I was doing that night? For example? So like let's say, oh, I have some of those when I getting like, You're like, well he's taking me out? No no, no. I meant more in the context of like if I'm going to okay, I love the bake cookies.

If I'm a bake cookies, who are you right now? Your black girl friends? And now I'm just trying to give my white card back after Okay, but that can then be misconstrued as like, oh, we're baking cookies. I honestly thought you were, Like, I didn't understand why else people eat bake goods unless there's weeding them. Edibles fucked me up. Oh me too, bid, But that's the only

time I'd rather have a nice little communal blunt. Oh well, if you like that idea, we should listen to episode four where she pissed in a treehouse next to a guy. It wasn't a treehouse. He just had four roommates and he had a ladder. It's where it was in Brooklyn anyway. It was in that explains to bake cookie So you're inviting girls to bake cookies. I'm gonna tell you right now, a dudevice, what I do think the prose and ship

like difference. This is exactly why I stopped picturing here with like a Vanessa Carlton song in the background soundtrack, like you're playing twenty one in the back, I might be like, I'm picturing I have a little apron on your shirt. Listen, you know it's a day alright, I have to skip to the next one. Oh no, you skipped grow Oh okay, okay, we we're kind of already

touched this, but don't being petty. Um. And then I think that there's a balance between don't think that you are not replaceable and know you're worth right, So, so depending on what the other person is looking for, I have something fall into this. Depending on what the other person is looking for, you might be replaceable, easily replaceable,

potentially right. So by by saying that, I want to ask you because one of mine was like, don't let yourself go once you're attached, Like, don't stop going to the gym, don't stop dating each other. Is that why you said you're replaceable? Because you could be you could stop courting the other person. I think that or is this in the dating phase? I could think this is not.

I think if you're dating with somebody, like the whole point is it now you do up something that's like unique in a in a way that like it's it's more on the no your worth side and make sure

that you're being fulfilled and all that good ship. But I think, like especially in early stages of like talking to somebody and all that stuff, like It's interesting to me when people think that they they act as if they have leverage, which you shouldn't be doing in a in a relationship at all, and they don't have any leverage, right explain, like like making kind of like demands, you know, like oh like don't do this or you should do this, and it's like what why did you call me back?

And so no, I get I get that, And I guess I can throw in maybe the last doing dope, which I feel like is important. And I think this leads to a lot of the I guess we're gonna call it homemale. I've been saying listener letters, but I

think homemale fits the show homemale UM. So a lot of them come, and I think I'm going to say this is the biggest doing dope um to find someone compatible in the bedroom, if that makes sense, because it seems like so many of our letters, people want to explore things and do other things, but yet their partner isn't into it. So this leads to the cheating. This leads to well why are we together? And I feel like people don't understand the think people asks, oh I

do need? But I think that people should. I think people should that that communication at least lead into it, like maybe with a porn or say something and just say went into right, But I think that's a girl. By the way, what well they I tell my guys when they want to, I'll be like, you don't want to watch the porn I watched. I watched two dudes. Yeah, I watched gate porn. So I'll be telling them I don't want to watch that boring street You've never even

watching porn with a girl. Just I guess I'm gross. We're both filthy and this weekend so he has a projector rather just fun, you better be doing some four play and ship. That's is phenomenal. Anybody watching porn before is technically you can watch yourself. And I'm going to teach you guys how the next episode because I just like we could just use this hm, I will prop your and watching those And she said, that's watching in the gym. So I'm trying to make a video. I

never made a video. Oh my god, let me show you one of mine. Oh my god, oh god. If anyone ever got this phone, jesus, Oh dude, that's why I keep a past code. I feel like I'll have a man one day was like, why you always keep your phone like I mean because of my a Jina? No, seriously, and I don't know, but you're popping. Okay, okay, okay, yeah, I am relatively boring until we get into the bedroom and then it's all better. Fucking off. You gotta put

a camera, bro, it makes so much fun. I'm telling not even if you're like sharing the videos like you don't have to no, no, no no, I know, no, I'm trying to make a video. But I'm saying like he seems like the one that would delete it before I could even watch it, like upset. I am not a freaking quitter, right. If we're gonna do something, we're gonna do it all the way. We're gonna this is gonna be a cobla. Are you kidding? Don't pull out, don't be honest with you. Though I've had some great text

with people that are like not all out there. I mean, I'm just generally an extra Kickiness is relative, which is why I said it's important to communicate because people niggas be like I'm nasty. I'd be like, how I'm nasty? Are you? Because I don't think you know he's got into like I feel like, yeah, you got to clarify this is for you. Well, no, this is the clarification

that I hope that way too kinky for you. Bro, you've listened to real quick and I'm gonna we can't get this when you hear about it, like, is that like it sounds crazy to you? I'm just curious when you hear about a girl and pegging, is that just like, oh my god, this mind girl and pegging? Pitt your ass out of here. First of all, Sam, you're a first white guy, and I feel like, hello, what is pegging? We had to teach something? Girl? A girl with a

strap arm sucking a guy? Yeah, not my thing, but I mean, go nuts if that's what some what somebody wants to do. When you here, is that like too kinky? When you hear you're like, okay, this is too advanced, I'd rather not get. But see this is why this is what I tell guys when they be like, shout it, I'm a freak. I'd be like, wait, wait, real quick, clarify, are you a nympho or a freak, because there's two

different things. You just liking a lot of sex is way different from you being a freak, and so when they'd be like, well there's they'd be like, well, name is the freaky ship, And then I started naming the ship. I like, but I think I just like I don't want to shot. No. I think you're right, girl. I think I'm I think I'm having like a withdrawal because I just saw like even a flyer from Atlanta and my pussy guy wet. I feel like I can't do these New York things right now, like I need to

go back to the South, Henny. But I think I think you're between. Hello, this is a smooth transition for you. Okay. When I went from black to white guys, it was like all the way Brett was a surfer bro Okay. It wasn't even like I went white guy basketball good friends like no, it was just a straight and now I love it. You know, you know I have gotten before. I have gotten like, damn, I wasn't expecting you to be this freaky. I've gotten that. That's actually a compliment.

I think it is a compliment. I think people also have like I look like I'm sucking sixteen, especially without when I shave. I'm not. You look very young. Actually, you look younger in person than you do on your pictures and your pictures, like I said, you look like very manly, super dressed, super cool. Not that you don't look manly now, no, but you just have a baby. I definitely have. People are like, you have your model face. Yeah, yeah, you have your little g Q swag on the grant.

I just have a really good photographer. Friends, go ahead and tell our listeners again where they can find you, where they can stalk you or they can arrass you, and where they can slide in your d M s. He's flushing again, guys, we get to see the red cheeks. But this is just so fun to like poke it because you just let it happen. We're not, oh not at all. But anyways, you can find me on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, SoundCloud at sam white Out. You can text me Nina

what is it not? One seven three eight? Um? Wait is this a real? Like? Is this like? No? No? No, no no? What do people text you? I mean people text me all kinds and stuff. People ask me for advice. People will text me about, you know, maybe about the way that something I did or said, and she for the scorespace. Guys, go ahead, so they ain't giving us no plug. I got my white card taken away at

the beginning, and I got it back by the end. Okay, like just I'm just saying I knew like we were bring a cap on and just I was super excited about it. But I did the blank on two songs for you. It was for you and you. I feel like some didn't go for it. I mean, I listened to plenty of white. I listened to Dave Matthews. That's

pretty white, that is it? Yeah? Yeah, okay, Well, and guys, you know you, guys can always catch us on Instagram at Horrible Underscore Decisions, send us homemail at Horrible Decisions at gmail dot com, and you can catch me how to send it? You can. You can be someone. We we got a virgin who sent us something so um and yeah, go ahead and you can catch me. I ain't gonna boast because apparently suck it. Don't follow me, don't even come for me, really coming from me, because okay,

so fuck it. Don't follow me, y'all. No, No, I ain't gonna say my name. Go ahead, what's your name? Shared with them? We see WTF? Now I'm at six When we started okay, guys, well, this has been another episode of horrible decisions.