Ep174: Growing Heauxs

a repeat Happy June team again. Well, I know everyone is like I guess, I'm not sure people are still celebrating the fourth. I know a lot of y'all are doing the fourth. I mean it's still like a holiday where I think people just want an excuse to get outside. I don't think they're really celebrating it. I just think people are gonna be outside. But we know motherfucking Florida ain't gonna be at the beaches though, y'all. Motherfuck girl, they closing the beach, they don't close the beaches and

order on that ass. So I won't be going to Florida probably for the rest of the way. The motherfucker's are cutting up out there. So I told my mom, enjoy life, see you next year. Everything is good. I mean, I'll be honest with y'all. I'm leaving Mexico this week, as you're listening to it. It will be my last fucking day. But the second we're back on lockdown, Joe Tambien, whatever that means, I'm back in this bitch telling you I already know we're going on lockdown again. Um, I

am actually like deep cleaning my apartment. I've been here for like four years now, but like I'm adding wallpaper, I threw everything out. I'm getting like some new furniture. I'm excited. I'm looking around right now like I'm redoing everything. So I spent too much money at home goods today. Um, I was talking to my boys science shout out of science. He got me getting the switch. So I'm about to get on some motherfucking video games and ship wants the motherfucker.

Can you know, um lockdown happens again. I mean video games are fun as fun, and I feel like I don't play them enough. But I've been playing more games on my phone since Quarantine, like a decorating game. Actually, which is kind of like info for my apartment because is lit. I laid that ship fuck out. I went on Pinterest and like picked one color scheme, chose the photos I wanted on the wall, and he even kept

the same photos but just put him in frames. It looks so much better without a fucking thumbtack in it. I don't know why I hadn't been adulting sucks. I like, what's crazy is like when your mom would be like, bitch, don't put don't put your feet on my couch. You don't really know what it means until you have to buy a couch in a bed and you see how fucking expensive furniture. The funck is. Um, I don't really,

I guess I don't. I'm not really doing anything for the holiday, but I am making plans with my little toy friend. I've been on my period bit and so I'm like, damn, I feel like I had jo dicking forever because I'm getting I'm getting absinent dick. Yeah, but I moved out of my house. I've been in Long Island like because like so a pipe busting. So they got a check for mold. They have to do all this,

which is why I got rid of everything. So I've literally been in Long Island while uh no, I didn't get no money, but they're making everything fine, which is why I'm just like, Okay, well maybe this is the push for the spring cleaning that I needed. Yeah. Sure. And so basically I'm in Long Island and bitch, it's like an over an hour away. So he's already come out there twice. But but she was coming over my crib every motherfucking day. He not coming along island every

fucking day. Yeah, that's that's pretty far. What did I buy? Oh my couch? When I was like looking for a new couch, the one thing I knew I wanted was a modular sectional where the legs are like tucked in you can't really see them. And then I wanted it minimalists, so I picked modular. What is that you mean? It ain't got no legs like my mom with that guy she fucked in the story. If you don't know what we're talking about, go check back and listen to the episode.

But anyway, let's get into some vanilla ship. And it's vanilla ship that's gonna remind you last week's episode, Like not the same thing. Because oh god, jamaicanishes No, that was not Jamaican at all. But I said that because the same thing. Doesn't like but you said the same because one is it corple is it coople and the author single and he's going to talk. Okay, we are not going to do this whole thing. And I try to get out, hold on, you're not because I hate it.

I hate this motherfucking accent. But I don't even like accent. I don't like accent. So he's been saying he talking to and he's saying no, no, no, no, no no no. We're not gonna do that, y'all if you don't know what she's saying because I don't. Basically the vanilla ship for this week. UM. I love that we're actually to being able to talk about something current. UM. But I'm also glad that her comments came out since we've done

this because I don't believe them. Well I do too, I guess before we get into this, I do want to play a clip, and so, bitch, I'm gonna get myt So we're going to play a clip from the interview UM that we're about to discuss. It is with august Alsina and Angela Yee shout out Angela Yee for such a dope interview. But we're gonna play the clip and we're gonna let y'all listen to it before we

do a deep dit. Here's what I'll say. Uh, people can have whatever ideas that they like, but what I'm not okay with is my character, you know, being in question when certain things are questionable that I know it's not me, or that I know that I I haven't done. You know, contrary to what some people may believe, I'm not a troublemaker. You know, I don't. I don't like drama.

Drama actually makes me nauseous, you know what I'm saying. Um, And I also don't think that it's ever important for people to know what I do, who I sleep with, who I date, Right, But in this instance, it's very different because, as I said, there's so many people that sideiring me looking at me questionable about it. I mean, I've lost money, friendships, relationships behind it, And um, I think it's it's because people don't necessarily know the truth.

But I've never done anything wrong. I love those people literally, like my family, I don't ever have I don't have a bad thing to say about think they are beautiful people. You know, when something starts affecting my life, um, and not only affecting my life, but affecting my wellness and my my well being and also starts to block my heart, my heart space is blocked, I don't really have a

choice but to express my truth. I actually sat down with Will and had a conversation due to the transformation from their marriage to life partnership that they've spoken only several times, and it you know, not involving romanticism. He gave me his blessing and I totally gave myself to that relationship for years of my life, you know. And I truly and really really deeply loved and have a ton of love for her. Um. I devoted myself to it.

I gained my full self to it, so much so to the point that I can die right now and be okay with knowing that I truly gave myself to somebody.

Right And now we're about to do a deep do what you heard, by the way, just to just sum it up, there's been rumored that he was dating Jada Pinkett Smith, and so if you look at some pictures that people have seen online, they've said they were together, and basically he addressed those rumors, saying that he was once romantically linked to her, and he claimed that Will approved it and it transformed into what he described as a non romantic life partnership. Now that is in regards

to their marriage. However, I do want to say this, which I kind of get annoyed that people are like acting like their marriage means nothing. They were just saying the marriage they felt like could be up and down, like people use that word and you see people get divorced whatever. So they're just saying, no matter what happens, we will always be together. They never have said that they weren't romantically involved anymore. And I'm talking about Will

and Jada specifically. So from what you heard in the clip, that was a whole runaround of basically stars and moon and love, and it sounds like they fucking no they So I don't even know if y'all remember we've had many episodes where we've talked about celebrity couples that we would want to fuck. I've oftentimes said Will and Jada, I want both of they finances. But also because I feel like Will either gets pegged or as a cook and they are super into the swinging, like you feel

like he does. Um, well, this is something that they've mentioned, Like even Jada was like, listen, even if we together and you gotta go be with somebody else at the other side of the house. And by the way, and I don't know if y'all know, but I know the teeth gonna come out soon because Titia Campbell ain't happy.

Word on the street is and y'all this ain't coming from me to coming from the screets, but that Will actually had a romantic relationship with Dwayne Martin and he's the reason, well one of the reasons that him and Titia Campbell got a divorce. So I feel like they have an open relationship sort of arrangement where both of them can have other partners. I think it's also funny.

There was a clip circulating about um where Will was getting a massage, and I don't know if it was even by August or not, but he was like, oh, a man, only a man knows how to please a man the right way. And I was like, I saw that clip and I was like, Okay, now I will say this much if that was true, because like that's been a little rumor for a long time. There Will was by I feel like it's so necessary because we really don't have any prominent bisexual male black figures at all.

I said, I I tweeted it, I said, I would love for him to come out and be there. If it's true, I don't want, I don't. I don't know if it's true, of course, we don't know. But moreover, let's talk about why it kind of relates to Last week. A lot of people were making jokes about how the Throutle episode came just in time, but I didn't take it as something that was happening between the three of them.

For me, what they've given off is that they're both very comfortable with the other person having other partners, which is not trouble. It's not, I mean, to me, that's ethical nonmonogamy. Um, I don't even I mean ship Will got with Jada while she was still super fucking in love with Tupac, so he's pretty much had to share Jada their whole relationship anyways, because that woman has not given up on her love for another man, being Tupac, even though he's dead. So I mean, I just think

that they haven't understanding going on. But aside from that, UM, I think it's interesting that Will and Jada have come out and denied that Will. Will came out and denied that, um, there was any situation at all, and then Jada was like, so I never had an fair and so I think that that says a lot. I can't here you. Maybe she thinks she didn't have an affair. You're not wait wait, wait, you're not gonna don't mute this mic because you're it's not going well, So it's fine, just don't mute the

mic anymore. Well, do you want to keep on doing the episode? Because I don't know if they're gonna stop hammering. I mean, I guess we'll keep doing it. But if you're like, I don't want to keep talking and I feel like you're not, I can't. All right, Well, if it goes on another ten minutes, then we can stop. So let me just mark the minute where we are hold on ten minutes exactly, Okay, UM, I don't know.

I think that maybe Will, I mean, Jada is saying that it's not an affair because it's not in her eyes, and I'm hoping that's what she discusses on the Red Table talk because to me, an affair is deceit and lying and cheating, And if you do have an understanding in your marriage where you can be with other people, then no, you're not having an affair. So I get why it would be bothersome to her because if she really believes that she's respecting the boundaries of her marriage,

and that's what she does. Also, people on Twitter are weird at fuck the way that like they're dissected and like, I'm kind of Twitter and try to dissect us and don't know us. Twitter is for the I mean, Twitter is a great laugh if you follow the right people. It's also a great secondary source for porn. But Twitter porn a whole bunch of not ship. I told you that's where I find all of like my good amateur

porn stars as Twitter. So I love it well, I really hope and I wish these these two piece because honestly and truly Will and Jada are a couple of goals for all of us. I think they're dope as ship, and it makes me sad to think that people may be thinking less of suck his dick and eat her pussy, like bring it in and if you want to add August in there too, all he needs to be fine. I don't know what he had going on with that hair. Okay, the hair was bad, but girl, everybody has a bad

she's going on with? What was he? Was that his project? Because it was on his YouTube? What did he have going on? I thought there was like teases of angel. He did just release. He just released a new album, which actually I enjoy it. Okay, so that was that was ut? Yeah, not that this is a music podcast, but it's called the Project three State of Emergency. I enjoy it. I love I don't know how August and Mandy know each other, but we don't. Calm down. Calm

down the Project three. If you're cast in the crapt twelve, calm damn bit. I love me some August Alsina, and I love that he has a new project out, like I'm here for what an album drop? Speaking of pussy eating, you said he would eat um Jada's pussy. This is a very basic horridor. I mean I was about to say, I feel like you've given this tip like thirty thousand times. No, but it's now it's got some stats to it. No, no no, no,

I haven't given this tip particularly. I talk a lot about like things to do with your mouth, but circles on the clip. A study there was a study done at the Indiana University of one thousand and fifty five women, and three out of four of them like tracing circles on their clip with fingers or tongue. Now, of course you can ask somebody what they want, but assuming that you're not asking questions or you're trying something new, this

circular motion is. Honestly, I think I do it when I masturbate, now that I'm thinking about it, like and I'm like rubbing this way, I probably am, I think, I see. And if I don't have UM, if I don't have my womanizer, I feel like I finger like this, like I don't feel like I do circles. I feel like I go like I see. The other day, I had to do it while this nile was asleep. He

wasn't feeling well, so I couldn't get it. So I was like, okay, I'm just masturbate, and I was trying not to like move my hand too much like this way. So I did some circular ship bitch that I killed it. I killed my own pussy. I fucking took my entire hand, not just two fingers, but like all the palm and everything, and like circular motion my clip. Oh my god, it was amazing. It was like I was so proud of myself that I felt guilty that he missed out. It

was really good. But I just want to say that the alphabet thing that you guys are learning about pussy eating isn't necessarily the right way. I think it's just trying to get your tongue in a less awkward motion, but trying not to just use your tongue, also use your mouth, like making your mouth a suction cup over the clip, and like going in a rotating motion that

helps actually moving your head. Don't be scared. It's so crazy because so I know we're doing like these sex tips, and I've been thinking of tips along the way of me getting absident dick because I have a nigga that I cannot keep up with now only fucking ship the absinent dick that I've been getting. Holy fuck, I did.

I've done new positions that I want to share with y'all what it is absent and shout out on the sex said Mandy and I were both featured on her season finale about and when I did it, I was absinent. You gotta stop bullshit and people take their absince that's cool. Did they take it seriously? Bitch? I did too for the two and a half months anymore. But now this is the dick that I was getting while I was

telling Hose I was absinent, when I really wasn't. So bitches my absentent dick Ho France said, I can be absinent. It's still good dick, and I just don't have to tell nobody. So now I'm openly telling y'all that for the month, one of the months that I said I was abstinent, I was getting motherfucking dick and it was the best dick that I got in line? Do you know? Real quick? Let me tell you how bad it is? Is it bad that I gave him sevens ring tone? Bitch?

I switched all seven tone and gave it to this nigga. Now I hear it's his ring because no, I'm because it vibrates and keeps going on and I'm able to hear it, and so this is this is his ring tone? Hello the playground, play five place. Well, do you know how I know the name of that ring tone? How do you know the ring? I'll tell you you guys are not gonna believe this, and I can't take the

same ring so far our lovers. Miss Wheezy, who does not believe in birth control, got so scared when I had to take four Mexican pregnancy tests that Joe now on birth control, okay, And I said, what alarm am I gonna use to remind me to not get pregnant and take this pill? And it is playtime because it's so fucking childish that it makes me. It is. So the reason why I like it is because it's the only ring tone that will wake me up in my sleep because it vibrates and rings and it goes on forever.

It's not just like ring no, but like when I get a ding, it's just a thing. I don't wake up on ding, But this one plays for like fucking four seconds, so bitch, I wake up for that whole And now that it's also triggered me to a booty call message because it was sevens, it's just like I know who's hitting me. So I'm magine that my nigga's ring tone is your birth control alarm. Well, it just feels like a fucking baby, like, well, he my baby, yo, know what I mean? I'm sick. I don't want to leave.

On the Patreon episode, them Hose was roasting us, like, damn, we're gonna have to call y'all responsible decisions for relationship decisions. It's the rugs that sounds like it sounds like you're about to hop on some dick. Okay, don't say rug Rats, well I talk about I have to know some dude is going to think of rug Rats. That's what they stole that fucking beat from. Do you think so? Yes? I do? Rug Rats was rug Rats? Was? I was just working watching this uh comedy show where who was it?

Was it? Andre Well? I watched Tiffany had his y'all that whole is not funny. It's leaf, but I did not really Tiffany had her stand up on Netflix. Was that's she and I love her kudos the Black Women, but she just wasn't funny. I wanted to like Amanda steels Um stand up. I didn't like that too much either. I like check Hers, yet I actually changed a lot of my feelings towards her. I really didn't like her first because I just felt like, oh, you didn't like her,

now you like her. She's growing on me. Yeah. I just felt like she was just too brash. And then people that I know personally have said things about their encounters with her which made me also not like her. That influenced my opinion. But not even that. It's just like her attitude about like, well you don't like me, fuck you. It's like do you want us to buy

books and watch your ship? Like? I mean, I feel like I have that attitude, but to me, to me, she just comes off kind of contradictory, like and I feel like she never really apologized to the black man that she accluded accused of sexual assault and that came out to be innocent, like and that it really didn't happen. And I just feel like it she just is constantly on the attack of black men that I don't like, but she has a lot of black men friends. Well. See,

here's the thing. Though I I appreciate it. I really didn't like her breakfast club interview, but she did say one thing. She was like, everybody feels like I attacked black men, but she's like, I would rather us check our own and somebody else do it, and she's right. Black men do need to be checked. I mean, they're killing trans women more than anybody else. Like it. Ain't like black men are now here fucking up and I would prefer one of our own to do it in

some random motherfucker, But I mean where where. What I like that what she said is for her people. She's like, I'm a writer for my people, and when you guys understand and see what I'm trying to do, then you'll appreciate me. And I'll wait to see what she's trying to do because I don't get it. Well, I'll wait, I'll wait. I think I think she educates people a lot more than we realize, even if it's not me or you. Like what Shaun King's page does and a

lot of people find him to be controversial. I'd rather follow a man to seals for that. And I don't really like her, but I'd rather have the message from a black girl than somebody else. But speaking of changed opinions, today's episode is gonna be because horrible Decisions has made some decisions, and over the last three and a half years, we have changed our minds on a lot of different things.

If you guys were listening to our Patreon episode. One of the things I said was Mandy saying lovers, and I remember fat, She's like, my lover is my lovers. I'm like, bitch, when you started saying this, She's like, I understaid that how I could call him my lovers? Never did you, bitch? Because you asked me why I called niggas my lovers, I said, why not? Probably, but

but I do love these niggas now as friends. And what's crazy is even like, and when we get into this conversation, fuck you oh, because I know that they're my lovers now, but it's crazy because we're now having the conversation like me and my my lovers, the ones who have been around for for quite some time, the ones who have wives and nonetheless, I have been in my life for a very um long minute. I've let them know because some of them want to see me.

And I said, well, I'm I'm dealing with somebody at the moment, so I'm having to let my hose. No kind of got some mad ay. Even one was in my life the other day and I started talking about him and he's gonna roll his eyes. I'm like, nigga, didnt get out my life. How do you know he rolled his eyes because he rolled his eyes in front of everybody in an emoji. No the emoji, that's what I'm talking about, a little emoji in more comments. So I had to check him, like, wouldn't say off my

life because it's super contradictory. Like niggas expect girls to always be like, okay whatever when they get women in their lives, but it's not the same for us, like the fun Oh I got a girl, but no nigger. Anyway, I'm gonna start with number one. I can't believe I'm about to say it, but here I felt like in the beginning of this show, and actually I'll say maybe it's recently. A six months ago, I did not appreciate casual sex for myself without him you show, did it?

It used to come for me like I'm my god. I could not because I felt like, if you don't have a connection with somebody, what's the point in like wasting your body, Like what the what's the point? And like when you have that experience, but it's just not I don't know, like without chemistry. But I will say this much, and maybe it's because I got a nigga, but I realized if I wanted to have a flame, I could mainly because my emotions are somewhere else. So

maybe I really do still need the emotions. But the more I think about it, you know, I have these moments where I'll think about sleeping when people it comes across my mind. I'm like why why now? But not usually have I felt that way, And I think it's because I have my emotional connection, I have my love, I have my safety. So now it's like, okay, I could fund wouldn't naked just cause I just want you all to know that. This is why we have this

show to say how dumb as women are. Do you know I'm in the complete opposite like scenario now, like where I finally have feelings for a nigga. So I'm like, nah, I don't even want no other dick. I'm good with this dick that I got because now I actually liked the nigga. What this is I just because I'm in love. I just know it's not going nowhere. You know what I'm saying. We're talking about babies buying property, second homes. He ain't going nowhere. Neither somebody wants some dick, bitch,

because I need Miami. I'm gonna get it now. It's crazy. And I literally was like, I'm gonna behave in Miami. I literally let him know before going to Miami that was gonna behave, Like, I don't want no casual dick, no extra dick, no other dick. However, and I'm gonna say it on the pod because y'all could come and

check me if y'all need to. But beat you see, the sex clubs open here in New York, and so I was thinking of taking them the one because they're going through COVID like they're gonna you know, they like Daniels be Well, No, I'm I'm down to have people watch us and for us to watch others. I don't think we'll partake in joining anybody, but I feel like in a sex club, bitch, there'll be less people in there than what wasn't home Goods. Home Goods have a

capacity of ninety four people, bitch. So I'm like, as long as we just watch and don't interact with another couple, I think we'll be fine. I don't think, well, yeah, voyeurism is a great and safe way to the only thing with sex clubs is, and here's where my bouges kicks in them beds. I don't care how nice the sex club is. I don't fuss in a stairwell. I don't give a full I'm not saying that I give

or don't give a funk. What stairwells are different because you're standing up so you can stand up on a bed, You're only on your head. Like even if you get so, just stand on your bitch, just just get from the bad because then y'all are on your knees. I need to be the first person on the bed, That's all

I'm saying. And if you guys have every just sex club, you don't know what I'm talking about, because in my drunkest and highest moment, it still kicks in where I'm like, oh my god, there's like someone came here and it's not time that I've had. And I don't know if you fucking hotels, what the fun you think they washed them? Mandy? And first of all, you know I'm a stand for a bougie hotel. They don't matter. Other people have fucked in that bed. I got mattress with clean sheets on

top of them. You want to tell me that there's a difference from a brand new fucking fourth Seasons Hotel band from the Sex Club bed that Nigga's just I think that they changed the same way they changed the I've never seen anyone in the sex club change sheets, have you bright? Have you saw your may change sheets? No, they change it when you leave, and maybe they don't even change it. Bit you don't even really know. You

don't know what Maria doing. Hope. Wow. But anyway, y'all, I'm gonna say something that has changed for me over the last three years and something that I've learned from this podcast, and it's actually um differentiating between female and woman. It's a conversation I actually just recently had with my mom. Um. We had the conversation regarding not only Dwyane Wade's son, but just like having the conversation, and I want to say it was Sam Sam. White people got on it.

We they got on us because we was like female woman women females blocked and we didn't really know the difference. And so I guess for those of you who are tuning in, there is actually a difference. Female is your

gender assigned at birth. Woman is how you identify and So it's crazy because I also just had this conversation with um my toy friend and we had the conversation between um feminine and masculine and sub and dom and we I was basically letting him know that even someone who is gay can still be masculine and just how um, just because you're gay doesn't mean that you're not masculine and presenting or that you don't have masculine traits and what you do in the bedroom doesn't make you feminine.

So we had those conversations, and I think honestly just with this, with this podcast, I mean, those are things that we've been checked on by guests and we've learned and we've adjusted our I guess vocabulary since then. So yeah, so the use of woman and female, that's something that I've definitely um changed in my day to day life since started this podcast. Um So, what's your number two? I'm actually gonna side track into this because I learned

some stuff yesterday and honest to God, really surprised me. Um. So, one of the things that I have changed my stance on well, not necessarily stands, but uh, just understanding of why people do it is the ill culture and it recently came up from some conversation on Twitter, but I want to particularly say something because you just said masculine presenting.

So when I think about download culture, I'm like, Okay, a dude who's straight or man, right, this is how I think from what I know, doue to straight or married to a woman, and he's downlow fucking niggas. However, I found out a lot about d L being a subculture within Grinder and ship like that. So let me read you guys what I found. It's obviously obvious to me an African Americans laying term black term for men

who usually identify as hetero but have sex with men. Now, there are many cases where it's referred to as a sexual identity because men are using it to wipe out perceived norms about masculine attributes. So if a man is actually gay and saying he's down low, in some cases, he is referring to his attitude, how he looks, and his behavior, much like saying mask. A lot of black men are saying d L as how they come off

to the world. And I wanted to just share just a few things about why black men have done this. At of it has to do with the church. UM. I did some research and found out that the Black Church has been the most unaccepting of Black ay Men, which to no surprise, I mean, the most disrespected person in the country and America's Malcolm X has said as the black woman. But I believe secondary to that is black ay men, if not the top of the totem pole.

It's been a lot, a lot more of a struggle for a black a men at work with their families, safety reasons, not being beat up where they're from, um or from whoever. And I actually just got a little bit of a quote from a friend of the show, UM,

Jerome Trammel, who brought up UM, Marcus Willoughby. If you guys remember it's someone who killed themselves over being d l and being caught on video and being found out in that way, um allegedly And he said, and I quote, the reason there has been download men and men who cannot disclose they sleep with is because heater black women. Men and especially black women do not allow black men

to express and explore their sexuality without scrutiny. Black men are only allowed to be straight or gay if there by they date trans women and etcetera are labeled gay, which is a trash way of thinking. The narrative of men should just be honest is bullshit because when they are, they faced backlash and been persecuted. Marcus will would be suffered depression, was bullied online a viral video for openly

dating a trans girl and later committed suicide. And I think that it's just good to acknowledge, you know, it's obviously. I think the thing that we all don't agree with is the lying, especially in a partnership where you are with a woman and you can't be honest about your other side. But we all just as a community have to make that open space. And I think that's truly what horrible decision is is making a space for people

to be comfortable about their sexuality. And I just want us to recognize that the next time we meet somebody closeted, especially black men who may not feel safe to come out. Um It, It's it's not easy. I mean, little nas X, totally young, fun black boy, people still shooting on him on fucking Twitter is insane to me for being gay and who's open and comfortable with being gay. But what I will say that I'm impressed by is him not

coming out until he had that hit single. It's like, let me make my way and then you niggas can know, because I need to know you already fun with me. Same with Frank Ocean, and I just appreciate those men out there who have been you know, able to come out and also shed my love to those who haven't found the way to do it yet. Yeah, I definitely think that it's a it's a loaded conversation and I don't think that, UM, we would do that conversation justice.

So if there are any maybe down low men, we can find a way to keep you anonymous, but maybe to get you on UM across with with a gay man, to have that conversation of what it's like and what you go through. I would definitely like to have that. UM. I have been in relations and and had friends who have lived that lifestyle, and I know that it it hurts them and hurts everyone involved UM more than anything. So that's definitely a conversation I think we should we

should bring to the podcast. But just also it has more so to do with the fact that society doesn't accept sexuality. It's the same way children are sexual sexualized at an early age. It's the same way. Why if a woman wears, you know, skin clad clothes, she asked to be raped, And for whatever reason, society just has this dumb ask almost entitlement to to everyone's sexuality and judges someone based on what they like to do behind

closed doors and who they love. And I think that, um, we won't see the you know, the dismantle of the del culture until society learns that your sexuality does not make you as a person and who you are and doesn't change who you are. So again, yeah, it does our community more than it is everyone else's. Like it's been so hard for black men to come out and

black women as well. And I feel like, you know, I said it to me yesterdays, like white people throw you see their coming out parties and black people it's not the same energy and um, and a lot of

cultures that minority written cultures. But mainly, you know, the thing that I read about the church that I found to be so interesting that I didn't even understand really was like the bullshit, I mean for real, Like it's that this idea of perpetuating that you know, homosexuality is gay, and for some reason, the fact that we grow up thinking that and being brainwashed to thinking that it's wrong

or that it's bad and you know. Um, but just just to quickly add the other thing that I did find on gay hook up apps that um, it's saying as far as Grinder. Also in Craigslist, when you select d L, it's a coded went way for men to say, I'm looking to have sex with men, but I don't talk or act like the stereotype, which to me is even more insulting. It's kind of weird. Just use the

word mask if you want to say that. Um, but yeah, I mean it says here from a few quotes Jeffrey McCune, who has done some like scholarly work on the download phenomenon, he says, churches technically in essence require black men to be on the d L and basically, I mean judges is bullshit. Um and and shot if you're a new listener to if you would go back and listen to UM sex in the church, it was featuring um Corey and Pastor Corey and it was just that he had

oh yeah, he discussed it as well. UM. I guess so something else that has changed for me from the beginning of this podcast. So now y'all all know my views on feet, and um, I'm gonna say something that is shocking to me as well. And I like licked a big toe of my boyfriend because he had his foot up by my face and it was just like my leg was on and his foot was just right

here and his big toe was just right there. And I was just like, Daniel, big toe look cute, and so like, I'm really fully into this foot fetish thing. I gave him a foot massage and I licked his big toe. Y'all. So Jesus fucking Christ, I don't know who the funk I am. Yeah, like it was just right there not I said, but you didn't know. We're at the pool. We were on vacation. It's so ironic that I'm saying on vacation in Mexico, but for real,

we've been living here so long. We went to another city to chill out and we're at the top of this pool and I'm in the pool. He's sitting at the top and his feet are up and I was like, you've had a bitches suck your feet, like suck on your toes and ship and he said with no hesitation. Yeah, I like that. I was like, so he telling you you need to suck his toes. You hear me something like so, why you won't tell me? And he's like, well,

we never get there. I'm like, you like sucking toes too, and he's like, I mean sometimes, but I like it on me. I'm like, sometimes you don't like my feet, niggas want to suck my feet. So then I'm thinking of actually putting putting a foot job on my only fans because I got the little red toes now and I ain't got the acrylic bitch, because we've been in quarantine a big tote and grew a little bit of I don't do that. My cylic toe is cute. I mean as long as it's like aligned with the other,

one's fine. I mean all my toe is the same. Lengthening no, no, no, the nail like, if it's not a long ass acrylics, I don't do the longer cres. So what would it be his dick? Yeah? What did he say? He the only did he cool with it? Heye? Cool with a little fright. Honestly, you're gonna get a surge ni because I might have to pay how much is your only fans? I gotta know it's only eleven ninety nine, but I didn't put it on discount for

the quarantine or whatever. So nice. And he ain't really got no tattoos for real, for real, so it's cool. It's just gonna look like a little and it's not a little, but it's gonna look like a little black dick right there looking at all sexiest though. Why no, I'm not gonna be able to like what you do. One foot job there. Niggas is gonna be like, give us more. That's fine. I'm about to be like, oh, now you gotta come on my feet, so I'm gonna make them come on. My people are fans right now.

I don't know. I think I only got like nineteen I don't really be posting, bitch. I had to go on there because I realized I ain't posting like three weeks. I was like, oh, let me stop collecting all coins and not posted. So I was like, okay, let me post. But it has been quarantine and I haven't been able to get my feet done. I don't want to put them. I can understand the sacrifice for like quarantine. You're like,

what do yall niggas really want me to do? Start with my hands like ship and look like I told you so, my little boo was old, so look at my nails. I don't know who I am. He wanted me to go playing because bitch, I've been getting all these diamonds and rhymes soon. So he was like, can you try plane? And here we are not like it?

I hate it. I feel like a toddlers back. Well, I'm picking off that gail nail polished right now because honestly, well you know, I don't wear a crylic, but my nail polish does not fucking last and quarantine niggad it does because it's nail polished. No no, no, no, like a jilt nails. I think it's the dishes. Well, I was gonna say that my Crilics wasn't lasting, and I was like, it gotta be the hand sanitizer and the dishes. It's the dishes. My gil had like four nails days, bitch,

I have four nails. Pop off. I've been carrying around my nail glue like hand sanitized and that's pop that ship. Pop that ship right back home. But but then I really can't even like you know, I'll be nervous with the with the with the jack off the plane with the balls and try to can't slip a finger in there or nothing like that with you. And then another thing that changed. I would like to quote Andy saying she never got shipping the nail and niggas don't mind her.

Recretly they don't. But it's me now because I've been getting Ryan stones. I told you, when I get Ryan Stones, I'm not putting my finger in a boot hole when ye yeah, but if the Rhyan stone gets stuck on the Buddha hole walls, I'll feel bad that he's shipping out Ryan Stone. That's just, that's just, that's really inconsider I got that self, dude. I have to sidetrack my A. D D is kicking in. But there's two things that

just reminded me of you. One. So I've been here in to Loom for like two months, right, and now a bunch of people are starting to come because Mexico is one of the only places you can really travel, right because you gots it's the European border just closed. Niggas is here in Mexico. So the other day I'm out, I'm at this party. It's like, oh no, it was Saturday.

I was at Rosa. I go to the bathroom. I hear some black girls come in Da da da da da, and one of them said, uh, should I can see your panties, and other girls like, what you want me to do? Put in my booty hole? And I was like, you're admitting shut anyway, second thing I wanted to tell you, bitch, people say Buddha hole. It's a normal, but it was with the same inflection. It was like boodle. I think, how could you spell the way you say boot hole? B o o t Y Benson is the clip and

w boodha hole booda hole. I like a little buoda hole. Okay, So anyway, oh, does this count as an accent because I wrote my tongue buda bitch? I'm I told you, look, I got access to y'all. Oh. So the second thing I wanted to tell you is, I know you're a fan of Charmed. You here, bitch, so let me tell you how. I'm trying to figure out who she is because I'm sucked up. But I'm like, I don't know this white bitch. So we out and now she's vault

and there's this cute little dog running around. So I'm looking and like everybody's chill, Like motherfucker's ain't got shoes on. They got on their hippie vibe or whatever. But a lot of wealthy people have been quarantining here because they own cribs here. So I'm like, I know, huh so old. But his sister was here and she was like she so I love jawbreaker. That's how I noticed, bitch. So I'm trying now, I'm trying to look people in the eyes, like to confirm, like is that what I think it is?

So I couldn't figure it out, I go and google or no, find her Instagram. There's no post tagging where she's at. But the dog was the dog I saw, and she talked about like you just but just also I wanted to like say something, but I feel like you can't say Like if I was in the street, maybe I'll just said something, but I feel like I know you out here hiding this ship, so I can't say nothing. It's fucking ships hell. They they they they postponed indoor dining in New York City, which I thought

it was like, no, girl, they postponed it. It was supposed to be open, and Cuomo said, we're gonna put that on pause. So thank god I'm in Long Island. Long Island is a little bit right now. No, I came back to my house because my friend house so big, her WiFi sucks. So I came back to my crib just to record house is so big. Her wife, Yeah what, but she don't gave me a card. No, because I'm not in his house. Mind you business asking a lot. Yes, he's talking about every day. I'm like he'd be over

here every day. So anyway, she married. Here you go with the bullshit. Actually I'm I'm I'm changing a little bit, just a little bit. You lave me leave, So here's my last one dinners and drinks for a side. Lovers. If you guys remember when I was seeing lover Boy, he was all the way in Europe, and I understood why he would want to have dinner and drinks with certain women because it's like, you know, you missed the

company whatever, blah blah blah. I don't feel that same way today, and I can't figure out if it's because I'm more invested two if we if it's because we live in the same place or three if it's just because I am not as free as I was with lover boy, it's it's a weird thing that I'm going through because the other day I really was sitting down and thinking about it, right, like we've been having discussions like listen, like really deep conversations about like we know

we're gonna be together, So what the fuck does this mean for other people? How because we'll say we're open, but are we really if we're not sucking other people? And if we start in it, what will it look like? What's allowed? What we're not allowed? I don't like to use that word, but more so like what are we comfortable with? And he was like, you're way too fucking emotional. You cannot handle a bad You cannot And I've been told you that bullshit. You thought you could, but you

was lying to the audience. He was lying to yourself. He was lying to me. I've had some little one off flames that I have not brought up a horrible decisions and nobody knows about I could do this, however, I just I will say I understand it from the point of view of like if I know him with a sensitive ass bitch and you think you're about to be out here cuddling keiki with niggas. But uh yeah, for me, dinners and drinks and like doing dates with

other people I cannot handle. However, sex doesn't bother me at all. Oh pu, that's how you sound like me. Now that's all you had to say, was Dan, Mandy, I agree with you say it? Did I? When you talked about your toy friend and lover and behaving on vacation. Bitcher me stop. No, you just said you change it a little bit when I brought up Mandy. Just because I was changing doesn't mean that I'm turning it into you, because bitch, you would go down to Orlando and fuck

I went to Miami and didn't fox. So there's the difference is you was fucking because you was free and open. Oh my god, that's time thanksgiving me that white boy. It don't matter, It don't matter. I was sucking because these niggas was my son's That's why ship. But now I got a little nigga kind of like Anyway, the last thing that I learned and I guess that has changed. Um from this podcast and by the way to um,

I'm gonna actually speed this up. It's really just the conversations that I'm having with friends more so than anything, I'm checking them on things that they're saying wrong. And I say that to say that clearly we've been dragged through the mud, mostly by people who don't know the growth that we've um I guess had publicly over the

last few years. UM. Of course, there was a clip that circulated on social media recently and things were said regarding the trans community where WEE THEE and I both instead of checking our guests, UM kind of laugh things off and ensued in the conversation in which, like I said, now we know to check the people if they're saying something wrong, and we've done so with that I think over the past few years. But also I want to let you guys know that we're not perfect, we're not experts, UM.

And although we are part of the community and and we do view ourselves as voices for all of these conversations, we're learning were vulnerable and we're open to be checked UM. And so again I do want to apologize for anyone that was offended by the clip that was circulating. It was in portaste, it was taken down. But also to let you guys know that there's been many of times on this podcast. I think Wheezy and I have checked

each other, We've been checked by guests. We've come on and apologized if we saw that something was taken out of context. I don't think we ever do anything maliciously or mean to offend anybody. Um, but also we've been vulnerable to learn along this way. So again I do just want to apologize to anyone who was offended. And I also, aside from that, fucking love the hor hide, y'all was rocking for us. In the comments, y'all were

sticking up for us. And I just appreciate the listeners who say that even the conversation with the throuble, They're like, had I not listen to horrible decisions, I wouldn't have viewed this Will and Jada thing, Um the way I do. I think the biggest thing, you know, the conversation with the T word. So if you have no idea what we're talking about, it was just a clip where we had a guest on and she used that word and then um, we didn't check her. We didn't check her

for it. And I also repeated and said, well if we hear that word, what does that mean? And then I googled the difference between trans sexual transgender things like that. This was three years ago, which, to a lot of your points said, three years ago, y'all should know that is a slur, which I agree, I'll be honest with you, though, I went back and listened just to the other episodes

that we had. In my episode with Jamie Harris and Dustin, we had that conversation because again I was taking a friend of mine to the trans club and on the flyer it used remembered with the Jamie episode that I remembered and thought about where she necessarily didn't mind the word, and then even my episode with she was like, oh, well, I know hood niggas say it and they don't understand

what they're saying behind it. But I think for us, if the word is that trivial, much like saying nigga, I don't want to have a well why can't I do it? To moment? And I feel like we are too much of a learning curve for a lot of people when it comes to the l g PTQ community. So it's just no reason to say, especially when some people do find it to be that much of a slur.

And another thing that I wanted to bring up to is um you know, as far as our growth, I think what was great to see in very humbling for myself is if three years ago I had to google what transgender and transsexual and what different things meant. And now I'm out here like really sitting having conversations with friends. Damn, you are getting mad trying to school everybody and Tahoe included, you know, just being like, no, we've got to do this,

We've got to do this. I really feel like, and I said recently, like I do feel like I am a warrior for the trans and LGBTQ community. It always will be. And even though I may have thought I was, I think it really took personal conversations and friendships for for it to hit me. And I'm hoping the same for other people as well. I mean, I had a

conversation watching HBO. I was watching Curb Your Enthusiasm. Laverne Cox came on with Larry David and Monnigu was in right next to me and he was like, is she a And he looked at me and was like, Okay, well, I know I can't say that word and it made me feel good because it's like, Okay, you're learning from me, you know those things, and and not that this is an ad. But there is a new show on Netflix

called Disclosure. I think for anyone interested in hearing straight from um trans men and women should definitely tune into it. Laverne Cox is also on it. But they go into how UM the system and and art and film has kind of directed how we view um transmitting women. UM. Laverne Cox even went on there and said UM because of because of how they portrayed transman and women on sitcoms. In the middle of her transition, she recalls getting on a New York City subway and people laughing and so

the idea that trans women were a joke UM. And I mean we see we see Jamie Fox and Martin Lawrence and all of them have these women characters, but we viewed them as jokes. And so if you guys have the time, I thought it was a very well put together kind of interview slash documentary into the history of trans lives. And it's called Disclosure on Netflix. It's really good. Also, I wasn't before we get into our

horrible decisions guys, UM um. Again, for those of you who have not been able to march, or for those of you who can't afford to donate to any causes going on. I wanted to UM drop this real quick, UM, and this is specifically because my sister has brought so much attention to this. My sister is a member of the army. She is a sergeant in the U. S. Army. However,

this is calling calling for justice for Vanessa Guillen. UM. For those who of you who don't know, UM, the U S. A Army in Fort Hood, Texas needs to be held accountable for murdered soldier soldier Vanessa Guillen. They did actually go ahead and have two suspects, one of which was a sergeant who committed suicide once they started looking into him, and they're now looking into a woman

who may have been an accomplice. Story to tell you what happened, she told her mom or I don't know if she texted or called her, that she had been sexually assaulted in the next day missing. So it is a crazy ass story. But also I mean not to not to really UM say too much topics regarding it, UM, but my sister is actually testifying against a sergeant now in the army who is being accused of sexual assault as well and sexual misconduct. And I just want to say, um,

to the women who go online and she's really in solidarity. Um, there's a woman that my sister brought to my attention who was on Facebook calling Vanessa Gill and her sister and seeking justice on Facebook. However, she's actually one of the She's on the defense list for this sergeant for

sexual assault on other people. So I just want to say, for those of you who are on so social media claiming to be allies for women and justices and wanting to seek justice for those women who have been sexually assaulted, you can't do so while also defending these sexual predators. I just want to say that. And I think you know, I can drop the mic on Nicki Minaj as well. She's out here fucking making music, making songs, fucking married to a sexual predator. Can't Like, I just don't understand

it either. So for the women that know what we go through as far as in the business, at the workplace, with our lovers, with our partners, sometimes family members taking advantage of us, it's just really sick that there's also still women who you know. I had a conversation about the Nicki Minaj thing, and it was with I. I wasn't a friend, it was like just somebody I was

out talking to. We were at a bar with a bunch of people, and I brought up her brother and her boyfriend or now husband, and the girl said to me, and I quote, well, you've got to feel bad for the girl. Imagine a year and a half dating someone and then finding out they were a sexual predator. And I genuinely thought in that moment, because my day it was next to me. If someone told me right now he had done something with a little girl, it might hurt to let him go. But do you think I

never planned to have family around you? Do you think I never planned to have children with you? To know that you could do that and trust me, I'm also the girl that's been fifteen sixteen hanging. You're out with twenty year old man and not understanding the complexity and how bad it was, and or even lying maybe about my age, but knowing they knew I was a liar. You know what I'm saying, Like, it's just gross, it's gross.

It's all just gross. But um, we are going to wrap up, though, guys, I want to thank you all for tuning in so much. Again, Shout out to all of our patrons who rock with us, who support us, who is members of the motherfucking Horrihive. If you guys are all caught up with horrible decisions, be sure to check us out on Horrible Decisions dot com, Oh bitch, Patreon, dot Flash, Horrible We have to fun content on there,

you guys. It's like seventy episodes worth a fun ship, a bunch of blogging, tears, crying, just fun ship that we don't necessarily share with you know, the main audience, because y'all get this ship for free anyway. But anyway, for Fact Stake Podcast, it comes out on Tuesday, so tomorrow if you want to listen to it. It's an episode on twins. Eddie and I had a we do really weird ship cheese, conspiracy theories, eggs, tiger Kings whatever.

We did our sex episode recently, and it's hilarious because to do horrible decisions and then do a sex episode with someone who is not that sexual. He was like, well, Stephen travels it this many miles per hour. I was like, oh, Eddie, I'm like, what's it tastes like? I'm well, y'all check that out. And again, thank you all for supporting us. We are going to leave you all with a five minute motherfucking bonus flit. And again this has been yet

another episode of hor Decisions. So it says, hey, ladies, I've been in a relationship for two years and I've never been happier. Plus the dick is bombed. Okay, she really spelled it like, ok I'm a masochist and have Did I say that right? Because you've become a oh yes bitch. I was gonna say ships, but I knew that wasn't wrong. I hope you'll stomach cur and have been to actual domains with my man, where they teach and train the true ins and outs of video them. I guess this is like what um N s f

W was talking about this week. I don't know if it's called domains. Maybe it's supposed to be dungeons. I don't know. And it's been so helpful in the bedroom. I've been sexually liberated a k A oh since I became sexually active and have explored my sexuality from top to bottom, including being with women. I'm also a certified sex educator and advocate of sexual liberation a k A. Freaky Hope. My boyfriend and I want to have a threesome,

but we have a big problem. We don't know how to how to find a willing partist a pen So, so we agreed that I would ask a girl that I used to fuck. She thought it would be a good idea to tell me in the moment that she had fallen in love with me and hadn't stopped thinking about me since we stopped talking over two years ago. We were having fun, casual sex with no strings attached, so I thought so that made it awkward. Would it be bad to still have a threesome with her? Sincerely,

A seasoned hope. Look, yes, if you say you're going to all these fucking like sex parties and ship like that, like and you're already out there, like you can find someone else. Don't go somewhere just because it's easy. But what's crazy is this kind of relates to the first question we got, because this is a girl who's obsessed with with her. It wants to be with her, but she has a nigga. She's in a relationship, So I don't think that she should complicate something because women, as

we see, can be possessive and it's drama. It's it's crazy think that we have all of these emails that people want to bring that could bring to your dude, you know what I'm saying, Like he could end up like being like, you know what, this was a little too much. Actually, when we ran into collect and I was telling you, I was thinking about it, like she's super chilling cool. But even then I was like, oh my god, Like what if that's the thing. There's a

secret and it's not a new experience. And part of the fun of a threesome is meeting someone and courting them together. And like, yeah, like I do that for my threesome. No, well, like that's a big that's a big deal. Right, you meet a girl, you'll get to

take her out. You having drainks, you don't know if you're gonna sunk her or not, like what's going on, and you you literally like take all of that out to me that when she brings somebody, So you think that for the threesome that they want to introduce into their relationship, they should go out and scout someone completely new. I just kind of think like relationships and threesomes are more sacred than threesomes just to get your rocks off.

And I'm not shading you, but like you wouldn't want to fuck bitches and you wouldn't want to suck them with the DUDEU is sucking. That's different. That's why you said seven you were more sent you're sucking him often. That's a different thing. When you have a relationship, whether it be serious or casual, it's a little different. I think when you're like bringing someone in that the other person knows. If you're a couple making a new experience together,

you shouldn't be bringing in experiences from the past. I'm just I'm not gonna lie because even when I look into have threesomes, Um, I don't know. I guess it's weird because I do kind of ask the guys to just bring someone in that they already know, But that kind of doesn't because then I don't know their dynamics about me after ship like that. Um. By the way, so I'm going to the sex party night with Jeeves,

and this nigga was like, what should I wear? Should wear like a button up, like a studio, wear a dress something, dude, like, just wear something chill, and he goes, I feel like I gotta dress and primp and like get my ship ready. Like it's a third date where you like you're pretty sure you're gonna get it, but

you're not exactly sure. And I was like, Yo, that's a great point because the first date you just be like whatever this nigga or he's really cute, right, he kind of goes either way, but a third date, you gotta get your ass wax. Like that's how I feel every time. I don't. I don't know. I look good the first day. I don't want to see a nigga. I don't want to look break On Thursday, you do it, bro, What is you talking about the third the third day? I think every third day, if there's a third I

do a three day rule, not a purpose. So the first day, how you So it says, hey, ladies, I've been in a relationship for