Ep155: Non Monogamous Logic feat. Jet Setting Jasmine

So many of our listeners have been wanting you to come on, um and before I want to give you the right motherfucking insure, I do want to say, y'all know this your girl Mandy be a k A full cor pumps a k A debt bitch ak stallion, and you want to go ahead and tell the people who you are. Hi, I'm wheezy and I am sitting across from jet setting Jasmine. Put your mouth closer to it. Look we don't you know, I gotta say. When I we did our show in Chicago and um Glamazantaomi came

and she brought um Kingo's dick. So I was like, that's my pointing in my hand, you know, and I'm trying to talk, And at one point I started holding it like a microphone, and when I held it like a microphone, I realized one hand was not enough, and we just said it was the last lady that we were recording with, like, you can't wipe a big dick, right, But she said right, but you didn't, and like how

long have y' all been together? And at what point in time was your pussy Like, yeah, it fits now, well before before any of that, I saw a picture of it. Oh, and before I knew wherever the relationship was going to go, the friendship, the business ship, whatever it was, I said I could probably deal with that every other night, and he was like okay, and I

was like cool. So that we came to some terms of agreement early on that y'all weren't gonna funk every night, and you can't wipe a big dick, but you can a hole man, so that yeah, you have to the whole comprehensive man, so that way you don't have to focus on everyone loves when he comes on he is and just I think another thing that's so great too, is like when you think of I don't know if you guys call each other porn stars or what verbid you use, but like I consider Hingnore our porn star.

And I guess when I think of a male porn star, especially like a dom like that, you just don't expect him to be so sweet. I know that's a very simple word for him, but when he said like, oh, as long as it doesn't hurt kids or women or animals like and it was just so simple. And I've repeated that so many times because I was like, wow, I don't find a way to wrap it up like

sometimes when it comes to sexual kings and fetishes. And I'm just so grateful that he's been on our show and that our listeners like loved him so much, and especially male listeners because his energy, although dominant and mask was just like Hey, I want to help you too, you know, and that's so crucial for I think of business like you guys have. So I wanted to ask you, what how did how did you guys spend Valentine's Day? So we excuse me, I am working through a cold

right now. Um. We were on the West Coast. I just flew in yesterday. Actually we were out in San Francisco and we had the kids with us. We travel with them, so we took them out to eat what he took us out to eat. Um our always thought to pick the restaurant the most expensive, damn placed. It was called us Um San Francisco. Of course it is named after the damn city, and you know it was They had crabs and oysters and I was I was sick at the time, so I didn't even have much

of an appetite. But they that didn't stop them, so they had Valentine's Day. We you know, brought the baby out. We went to a museum like interact. We took pictures. So see that's really you. What about you? How is the Valentine's Day? He was great. So although I was in my period, it was a really loving day. And I must say like I felt really loved. Star flew in from l A the night before and we woke up together and I was like, so he's not gonna make me breakfast. I was like so mad about it.

I was like, you, I'm gonna let this shifts out. But um, you know, my man came with like a gift this stuff I wanted, like, you know, just like lounge clothes and like a Duffel bag I wanted and little ship and I had gotten him a Kobe Bryant momba mentality book that he's been asking for right now, I just want to say it sounds really simple of

a gift, but it was so hard to get. So actually I went on live and started pitching about how I couldn't find it and shout out to my friend Alex who has the book, and I was like, nick, because it takes like a month to get it in stock, and they stopped publishing it because people are selling it. It's like on Amazon for a hundred and eighty dollars. Even they stopped selling um the league or was a Nike one of them decides to put Kobe's like off the mark it for a while because they because so

many people would buy it. It's very sat yeah, and they didn't want that to happen to him. And then after that, so all I got him was the book. Because Mssius was coming into the house and he didn't know Um, so he just knew like I was like be home by eight, right, So he was like, is it a stripper a singing telegram? It's we're about to this like who coming into the house. And I was like, yo, God, damn, just let me surprise you. And the way that we'll be rolling. I know he thought we were having a

three sons. So there's this girl that we've been flirting with. She lives down south somewhere. I won't say where, but I swear I thought he clicked on her Instagram to see if the bitch was in New York. I figure out what's gonna happen. So when the masseuse came in, she was actually cute, had dreads, black, big old booty. She comes in. He was like, oh he saw the table. He was like, oh, thank you so much. This is

so sweet man. I mean when they got in the room, I'm sure he was like, she's gonna suck my dick. And it's crazy because it ain't come with a happy and no regular massous all right, bro, anyway, okay, so I would have appreciated it. I I was like, gonna stuck his dick. You know, I was gonna do a health thing. So anyway, my period was just at the end of the cusp, right, and I know that he really don't want to suck me in my period because just renovated his new place. So the couch lit, the

bed sheets is lit. So I was like, look, I brought my own towel and we can, you know, do our thing. He was looking at me like if I'm sucking it for you, bitch? So we end up watching TV falling asleep. I was so upset. I woke up like such a fucking girl, almost still pm messing. I was like, I'm ugly. He doesn't want to suck me. This is ridiculous. How can we have This is such not everybody sucks through blood whatever, So I don't understand that. But wait, I don't understand it either. Okay, well I

do so thanks. I woke up in the morning. I was in the clear, and then I put fingers up there and make sure nothing came out. I woke that ending up like hey, I wasn't even trying to be cute. Listen, it's off. We could funk. Now. You ain't see me in a minute because I was gone. It was Valentine's Then we ain't fuck. You're about to suck me, and I swear the pressure. I almost felt bad. This was

like not romantic at all. He was like, okay, I was about to get up and go to the gym, and that's fine, you can suck me right now, which sat on the motherfucking bed with my knee look back like hello. It was good though, um, but now we had a cool um date weekend and took some shrooms. That was fun, so we went to sleep no more. Um. If you guys never heard of that, it's this play of Macbeth and basically like instead of sitting in it,

you walk through it. You could follow like twelve different actors. It feels like a haunted house, but it's not scary. You just basically watched different scenes acting. So I was not really feeling the shrooms at first, So what are you doing? You're not feeling the drugs you're on? You take me and suddenly I get in this room. I cannot I've been sure described me exactly what I saw, and this was not the shrooms. It's like nine thirties.

You walk in there, they're smoking long cigarettes. They have on these beaded gowns like it's a whole thing. One room was playing techno music. This thing was tired and ship he was like, yo, I'm gonna outstope for a second because it was getting a lot, and I hear techno. I'm like, why would techno music be playing? I'll walk in and it's like they recreated this moment in time. Basically, this is what I saw. There was a man with like a lamb's head. But this is real. This isn't hallucinating.

Is this isn't hallucinating. This is real, Which is why the shroom's even got funnier. Because I had to confirm with the person next to me that I saw what I saw. I was gonna ask, did you sat check? The slow lights are going crazy and the lights are slowing down. So when the lights are slowing like this, you see things in segments right because they're flashing. There, the room's going completely black, then it's turning on. There's going completely blackness turning on. There is a baby of

toy baby with blood on it. A woman just pulled it out of herself. Um she was getting naked. There was another bald woman who had like a bottle of her her chees or some kind of chocolate, pouring it on the guy with the lamb's head, whose dick was out and he was covering his dick. And then they just started dancing and like smearing chocolate over each other,

and the baby was like bleeding and ship. So I was looking around and mind, You're wearing a mask and I'm trying to see other people seeing what I'm seeing. So finally I found one black person okay, and I didn't know if he was black or not, but the hair was protruding through the mask, and I was like, oh, that's it. I had to go around the room and fucking tap this nick and I said excuse me, and he came down. I said, do you see what I say?

If he starts laughing, he was like, yeah, they got a baby and ship I was like, oh my god. I said, maybe he's had too, because I'm my eyes out and my nick is gone, so I can't confirm with him. Bitch. I walk over to somebody else and that somebody has a black mask on, so you're wearing a white mask, the black mask of the people that work there. They can help you whatever. I said, excuse me, I don't know who you are. I know you don't know who I am, but I just means you didn't know.

I'm really high right now. And then the first thing he said, are you okay? I was like, I'm gonna push through. But in my seeing what I'm seeing, is there really a dick out with chocolate laugh the hardest thought me. He's like, yes, it's really out. I said, oh my god. So I'm trying to take off the mask. They're like, no, no no, because they're gonna kick you out if you take the mash. Bitch. I fucking walk out of there. Right, there's people that haven't seen it yet.

They're in line. I fucking pull off the mask. I'm slit, bitch. I was like, oh wait, till y'all get in that motherfucker look for the pregnant bits and follow the pregnant bit because it comes out. Oh my god. Frateful was looking at me like this what. It was the weirdest Valentine's Day. Then I come outside to my nigga, who's talking to security because he's just like, Yo, this is weird white people sitting for the only black people outside. Right,

He's just like he's like, oh, what's that baby? I'm like, y'all, they was playing a techno baby came out. They chocolate on dick. It was crazy, and he looked at me like, bitch and this was my gift? Like anyway, it was great. It was great, great, great. And then we went to the box, which is a you know where the box is. I feel like you and um, you're happy, would love it. But it's like a avant garde show. Um you can call it a sex show, but they don't have sex

where they just do this crazy stuff. Have you been yet? Uh no? Well the first thing I saw, also still on shrooms, was a woman who came out in late text and stuck her head inside of a balloon that just kept growing and growing and growing. And then I had to confirm again is that a balloon all on my trip? And They're like, no, what's on her head? And I'm like, wow, it's still fucking going. A rabbi

came out with mazza. He was sucking throwing the mazza at people and then like had a wine bottle, stuck it up his ass, turned upside down and let the wine go in his ass and squirted it out. That was my Valentine's Day. And then I can't really be doing with some white people ship bro bro was crazy. But Ryan met up with me from pose. Ryan came through. Um so anyway, we're in the car home and I was like, Yo, what a great Valentine's Day, What a great Vantine' Day? Like I'm so any I want to

find He's like, I don't know how I feel. He was just so crazy and like fun and like I fucking loved it. So ye go to the box and sleep no more. Yeah. Um, my Valentine's Day didn't involve really any partners. Um. I went to All Star weekend and for any of the followers who are new or

found me and learned about me through horrible decisions. Um. Prior to the podcast, I'd spent five years of the sports blogger and since I was eleven, I played basketball, So through middle school, I did AU, I did inner merals, JV varsity, like literally played through my my college years except for my senior year because I was working. But yeah, anyways, the fourteen year old self in me was probably the most excited um ever. It was just it was a great experience. Um. I want to shout out to my

friend Alexis and Marion. So everyone was like, oh, bit, you got fluid out. Who sponsored Joe trip? Nobody? Um, my friend works for the league and invited me out and wanted me to be her guests so to be able to go to the Skills Challenge and the All Star Game and then just to be able to party like the whole time with like all of these like legends.

I got the invite to the Legends brunch, which was like beyond amazing, Like I'm in a room with Bill Russell, I'm in the room with you know, Magic Johnson and all of these legends. Um, they awarded Scottie Pippen. Um and this means probably a lot or means nothing to the girls listening to the podcast, maybe girls like you. I don't know who Bill Wrestles is. Yeah, I mean they know he rich girl. He just turned eighty seven. Um, but like to be in these rooms and these spaces. UM,

I do also, UM want to give a shout out. No, no, it never does. Actually, UM, I want to give a shout out as well to Martin. Martin and used to um work with Wheezy and I. But he did an event for b Et Honey. Because show you Sharona's. They've been on these streets working. Look at me, put this camera in my face. This nigga was like, oh yeah. When he met Sharona's, I thought they were just doing something like niggas, Oh yeah, let's link, let's work together.

And I was like, you guys have to know each other. Whatever. Sharona did his little Danny's commercial. Yeah, okay, motherfucker hosted All Star Ship. What about games people play? What about the horrible decision? Nah? It was it was Um. He reached out to me to come because they did have like a podcast UM set up with Martell and b et Um and Kenyan Martin was in there. He has a new podcast coming out with Nick Storm. Nick Storm is a good friend of mine as well. It's called

Neat and Unfiltered. And I got to sit there and watch them interview Jadakiss and Jadakiss has been a long time friend. So literally just like to go to all of these events. Um it was amazing. Um, Dwyane Wade through a UM like a a spades event. So you literally walk around the goddamn room and fucking James Harding and Russell Westbrook are playing against Like it was insane. You just don't even know, Like Jason Tatum and his dad are right there playing against someone who else was

in there like fucking everybody. Oh my god. Um, Rudy Gobert like so many of the All Stars when they're Dwyane Wade was like literally just walking around tapping people up and then for the patrons, Kevin from Greenleaf was in there, and so I walked up. That's why I was excited to go and walk up. So I didn't know me how TV shows get you, bro, So mind You, like I like James Hard and Russell Westbrook, like I know the athletes like I used to be in that space.

I've been to the sp Awards, like, met a lot of these guys already. But me and my friend be She's like, that's Kevin, Like he keeps walking around, he got a little dimples. So I walked up to him, and I'm just like Kevin from green Leaf. I really enjoyed it on the show mind You. For whatever reason, he let me know that he's nothing like the Kevin that he portrays. Um because he is kind of like a nigga on the show who cheats on charity with a man and isn't comfortable with his sexuality. But um,

he was super dope to see him. I literally did a whole um green Leaf episode on Patreon, so it was dope to see him in there. That was amazing, and honestly, yeah, it was literally the most amazing All Star experience I could have ever asked for I've been to All Star. Um, maybe this is maybe my fourth All Star I've been to, and I feel like it should be my lessons. I'm turning thirty this year. I'm like, oh, this, can I really still say I'm going to All Star

and be excited about it? Set up this because I mean, even like the followers are just like, what's going on All Star? For I did? I think that All Star is definitely one of the weekends where you could go for a long time, only because people they go to Super Bowl weekend ship very rarely go to the game. But All Star has so many events, right, Yeah, but you can't get it to even me and Benson we're talking about it. These events, like if you not plugged up,

you're not getting into none of these events. You gotta go to the club and they're raping like regular people at the clubs, like the events I went to. If you were on any sort of publicist lists or knew these brands, you're not getting into the door to these open bar events. It's like it's hard as fun. Yeah, but I'm saying, like you could get into an event, so why not say I can't. Yeah, that's what But

like what people that do like fashion week. If you're fucking plugged in the fashion way, why aren't you like ship? I totally fucking get it, like going to shows that is such a staple thing in the world, much like All Star Like, why not fucking go to fashion me forever? I think we have a thing where All Star weekend is associated with whole ship with true but like you

can still fucking like other shit about it. Yeah, And I think for for me being someone who like grew up watching basketball, like literally I had Slam magazine covers like on my wall East Bay. I used to order all that ship and order my sneakers from East Bay back when that ship came out even Okay, so I don't know what that is, but I know what demo is. Look at remember, look at it and it just got down here bad. I mean, they had shoes, but baby fat.

You're not getting baby fat out of East By Easy may have had baby fat, but I don't know, I don't know. Maybe maybe Russell stons about some ads in that whole. I don't know. I don't know, bitch, because that was that magazine. Okay, but I was so happy, Like you don't understand like literally, like I was like looking at my friends, I'm like, I'm trying not to cry right now with you, but like it was like one of my best like like that I've had on

a long time, and it was like my wheelhouse. But being with horrible decisions, like I've been completely like taken out of the sports space. Like I don't really talk about sports as much anymore. A lot of the like events and things that we go to have nothing to do with sports. We're so busy now we're on tour. Every time we've been in a goddamn city, I don't looked up NBA games. We miss it all the fucking time, either the niggas got in town or the games of

the same night as our shows. So like I just haven't been able to be a part of it. So this weekend was just like and then to be able to see the Dunk Contest live, like I was just so happy it was it was, it was very exciting. Anyways, well I had to watch it, so I'm glad, but I'd be forgetting that like this nigga. I was like, Yo, you know we're going out to night he was like, So I was like, it's Valentine's Day and he's like, it's not a fucking national holiday, my nigga like, and

I was like, I don't care. I don't can't care, bitch. This is why I got to be gay again us because girls do girly stuff, but not like stud game. I mean, I ain't gonna hold you like bitch. Elizabeth Cambridge, that's who I was farting with all weekend. I don't know. She's six ft eight fucking gorgeous. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Look up Eat Cambridge on UM on Instagram and let me tell you how big

of a look. Oh my god. So listen, she comes into the room with me and my home girls because we have the same publis, and so she comes into the room and I just feel I need to tell her because if she goes in through her car, I said, listen, I just need to tell you. There's mad heart emojis under your pictures from me. I have set the jewel emoji and I am I'll be under your comments. Bitch. I just thought i'd let you know. She's very nice to meet you. She laughed, and then my friend was like, yeah,

she has a podcast. Called horrible decisions, and this bitch was like, oh my god, I've heard of it. That's all you all you need to say? Why you my friend? That is how she gotta. That's just you know, well look they're not together. No, mo, maybe that's her brother bit alex Lee. I don't know what you're gonna you know what I mean? She she just liked the fucking brain on my parade and I'm over here happy she knew about a podcast. She was smiling, what's the AFL

player American? No, that's NFL. I mean what I mean, he ain't got no more? She what is that? So? Is that a renable Australia? So she's from there? I think no, maybe not, I don't know, but she says adds and I'm like, oh that's cute, like write your little exit. Um. Anyways, we're gonna get into our vanillaship. I'm super excited to bring this up. Our listeners sent it in and everyone kept tagging like, oh my god, this made me think of Wheezy and added Wheezy literally

all of last week. So h G t V features its first ever throuble on House Hunters Representation matters. The episode followed Ryan's Jelly on a quest to find their dream home UM titled Three is Not a Crowd in Colorado Springs. The episode followed the three on the questifying their dream house in Colorado. The trio wanted to find a new home that will accommodate their unique dynamic as well as provides space for Brian and Lorie's two children.

So I wanted to ask you, Wheezy, and then I do want to ask you and um your relationship um with hubby, but Wheezy, when you were in your throuble, Um, I do want to ask, would you guys look for a three bedroom a one bedroom with a kid room, an office and on one bed do you' all sleep together? I believe this this, And we said a master bedroom like a guest room, like y'all could do a two bedroom with three people and together. I think we were

talking about, well, everybody make good money. You know what I'm saying. She has a great job, I make money. He makes great money. So like, no one was ever talking about goals that are unattainable. But we did say, like we definitely got had a guest room for like when someone getting on our nerves or and California. King was the thing we talked about. Oh for the bed, well, that would make so like the King bed. Luckily she had one. I have a queen. Um, and then like

if we were ever vacation and like hotels have a king. Yeah. But I realized, I was like, I even had a three stome in my bed recently and it's a queen. And I was like, well, she can't say her Yeah. No, sleeping three people in a queen is not so Um. If you guys have not you know, picked up on the hints yet. This is the other half of King Noir, who you guys love so very much on this show, and the first time I had him on, I know we talked a little bit about the dynamic of the relationship,

but it was before the baby. Um, I believe the baby was on the way though this was Oh my god, maybe the baby was on the way. UM. I want to talk now about how do you guys? What relationship title or group would you guys fall under? Um, have you guys ever been in a throuble? Do you consider yourself Polly open swingers? What? What is the title for y'all's relationship? It really is all of the above. Oh wow, um,

because sometimes we swing. We are definitely in an open relationship, and I do think that most of those relationships can fall under some form of open and um, he is polyamorous, so I consider myself to be a sexual opportunist. Okay, so it's you know, if it's a good time and it meets my needs, I'm with it. I find that interesting because people always say things like when they're Polly, it's together, and you don't identify that way. So how does it work being Polly on one end but not

the other? Because I assume Polly to be like having multiple relationships and kind of intertwining them. But I guess not it doesn't necessarily And I think sometimes that becomes problematic is that we have these very very tight ideas about what all of these things have to look like. So that way, when you get in them and you realize, you know, this aspect works for me, but this doesn't, then you feel like I'm not good at being polyamorous

or I'm not good at being a swinger. And really it's like you could just adjust it to what works for y'all. You know, for us, when when we were pregnant, um, we weren't really seeing other partners. We were very focused on our you know primary Yeah, like we're about to bring in a new member to this family, Like, let's make sure our ship is all together, let's make sure the older girls are straight, you know, just the household, the family. Um, he's here now we used to him,

so right now we opening things back up. Um. You know, we've we've thought about all kinds of different combinations that could possibly work. I have the two older older children from uh, you know, previous relationship, and King didn't have any biological children, and you know, I always knew like maybe he might want children down the line. Um, and

I already knew he was Polly. So we even thought about, like maybe there will be a woman that you'll meet and you have children with, and I'll get to be a part of that with you the way that you've been supporting me with my children. And you're already getting into like some of the questions that I wanted to to ask in the wh that is. But also, um, I've never looked at it in the way you're looking at it. Um. So for someone who I think swinging

would work for me? Again, I really I recently said My issue is I don't see many relationships that I've ever envied or that I want to emulate, or that I don't know what a relationship really ideally would look like for me. Um. But knowing that I do want that open space, but there's still are boundaries that I

would have. UM. I think it's interesting that you said that he's Polly, but I'm not because I did always think that if I were to get into a relationship, his views would have to align with mine and we have to be exactly on the same page. We just got to respect each other. And can I ask one question? I know, UM, some of you guys don't know, but we started late because of some audio issues. I do have to leave. But I have a main question for you.

I've been non monogamous for like the last two and two and a half years, probably actually maybe since we started, probably three years. But like managing jealousy, right, there's moments where like I feel no, and and then it will come and then I've heard had some criticism from friends like oh, it's not for you, right, because I've had those moments of jealousy. And I'm curious to know if you know someone who seems you have such a big

level of commitment with him and strong ties. How do you manage jealousy and has it stopped or when does it come up? Do you notice? So that's a great question and it will always be there. The same people who tell you that your relationships are not for you because you get jealous, tell them to apply that same thing to them in their monogamous relationship. We get jealous and monogamous relationships also, we get jealous in our friendships.

You're like, bait, you went to go see Make Death without me or Valentine's Day you went to All Star Weekend with you know what I mean. So, jealousy is a is an emotion. If we can actually accept that we get jealous all the time, then we're able to accept a little bit more in our relationships. We realize like, oh, it's not because we're polly or because we're opener, because

we're swinging. It's because I feel insecure in this moment, or I feel left out, you know, Or he didn't take out the trash before he went to go have dinner with so and so. Was he so excited that you know, he's not meeting the needs of the householders, you know, some things like that. So I don't try to get over jealousy. I tried to sit with it. Why what's making me jealous? I hate it. I want to be like, you know, go have fun. I'm gonna you know what, I'm gonna be here with the kids watching.

You know. I genuinely mean it when I say that, Like I don't want monogamy because I feel like it's stifling. Maybe not at this point in time because it's a new love, like right, we've been dating like almost a year, But I feel like I mean it when I say I want you to be happy. I mean it when I want you to go out and other girls because I do. But if we talk about it, I'm generally happy. I'm excited to hear about it because I know he's excited tell me. And there's this weird moment after I'm like,

why don't you just want to call me? Is it? Why don't you want to? It's weird? And sometimes I feel like that insecurity. Am I ever going to get over that hump? Or am I really being serious when I say it's a weird thing I'm going through? Yeah? I mean it is. I think about how long we've been we've been raised in program to be a particular way, So it's like we're challenging our own natural emotions on top of the messaging that we've been hearing for you

know whatever, twenty plus years. You're supposed to grow up, go to school, get a good job, marry one person, love them until you die, and then anything that's out of that sort. You start a question like like, Okay, maybe this isn't for me. Maybe you know, maybe I didn't make the right move. How do you make sure that your things? Does king have to do to make

you feel comfortable? Yes? So for us, jell And you ask, you know, when do I realize jealousy for me when we're not spending a lot of time with one another. If we're spending like if we've been seeing each other every single day and we've gonna get like like about three weeks, it is probably our max. And then with each other every day. Yeah, somebody needs to go out of town for work, you know, just because we just start like living on top of each other, then I'm

usually good. You know, he'd be like, you know, I'm going out to l A. I'm probably gonna link up with so and so. I'm going to New York. I'm probably gonna link up with so and so. That's cool. You got in your city. I mean, it would be nice if we could find someone a date in our city. But things are a little different because of the type of work that we do and because you know, we we have a family in our household, and you know, they go to school in our community. So it's a

little bit difficult to date in our community. But for the most part, I mean, he's gone on a couple of dates locally and it's it's fine, But it's when we've been away from each other for like two or three weeks and then and now you go, Okay, you you're about to come home in a week, but you mean you're going on a date, Like you can't just wait until you get home, you know. So it really has a lot to do with how much time we're spending with each other. Um other things is how I

feel about my self. I know, when my self esteem for you know, that week before your period rights stage. Yeah, I haven't there yet. I don't want nobody around me normally, Like I don't even want company. I get I get just really agitated. I literally just want to be by myself. Even with my friends, like they'll know during that time of week, but even if I'm dating, I'll be like not not today. Just see. I should be more like that. I should say I need space, but instead I'm like,

but where are you? You know? Um? So sometimes you know, it's just it's just that it's UM me being aware of where I'm at in my life, what's going on with me, and then articulating what I need from him. So my question to you, A lot of a lot of um our audience is also trying to find what works for them relationship wise. UM. We've had a ton of letters writing in saying that their partner doesn't please them,

but they don't want to cheat. UM, what y'all are doing and the way that your relationship is set up, you don't view any any of his other partners as him cheating because you guys are open with it. Correct, as long as we share with each other, UM, you know our intentions, right we have. We finally got to a point where it's like, if he's not gonna lead to anything, Seriously, I don't need to know about every

single person you're flirting with. Okay, that's agree. Um. We also have like a don't let me be the last person in the room to know. Don't have me walk up in a horrible decision. No, no, no, UM we know because I see, UM, I don't know how you handle that. Cisth um literally like everything. But I'm really big with I don't want anyone on the podcast that

I've had relationships with. Um Weeie and I have gone back and forth with that quite a few times because she wants to bring her ex's on and talk across with them, and and I'm just like, well, I won't be here, like I don't want to involve myself in whatever turmoil she's with. Our partners were at glad of issue with Love a Girl? Were you around here and love a Girl? She threatened to sue us child like

a whole lot of fucking bullshit. But I just know that once you take it, their emotions are just more and so anyone who has been on the podcast. I have a nigga right now that I'm talking to. He's like, when I'm gonna be on the podcast? I said, we don't already. Fun guess you're not coming on. I said, you can't come on now we didn't already have a sex. You can't on the show. You can't suck your way on the show, not with me, not gonna happen me. I'm here on my own marriage, Like, I ain't gonna

hold you. That's why I wanted to dinner on the show. And now no, let me let me keep him off of it. Actually I want because I'm still trying to shoot my shot over there. I goddamn. Now, I'm very big with not mixing business and pleasure. Um, it's why for like all of the things that I do behind the scenes with horrible decisions, like anyone that we've ever done work with, like, I want people to see me.

I'm very stern, very strong, very mean. I even have to tell the people like that I work with sometimes I'm sorry if I'm coming off a certain way, but I don't ever want to mix. So yeah, no, never did that. Don't worry. No, you're not walking into don't know. Um. But but like you know, that's that's something for us. It's huge, it's huge, and we've actually had the conversation.

UM as far as if you smashed a friend, um, letting your person you know, your partner know as much as it may be uncomfortable to let him know before the front lets him absolutely So at what I guess, did you grow up in the kink space to where this was comfortable for you? How did you know that this is how you wanted to have relationship? Again, some of our listeners are in their thirties and just now

realizing like, maybe monogamy isn't for me. Um, what conversations did you have to have with yourself and how did you open your mind into the kink space the way that you have? So? I was raised a good Catholic girl and all right in the first generation from the Philippines and Panama, grew up right in the forties projects of far rockaway queens, moved down to Miami with those same good values. Oh Miami turned you out? Okay, say less? Uh,

it was when I got when I got around years old. Um, it's I remember going to drop my my daughter off at school and somebody was like, hi, Mommy's mom and I was like, what, Like, that's my name? Now? He didn't like that I became somebody's mom as my first name. And I don't know why, but that kind of is set off something in me, like what do you like to do? Who are you? Um? I don't remember having

done anything. And like at that point ten years that was really based on something that I thought was like interesting, cool, or exciting for me. There was a lot of building of and raising children that was happening, but there was

no really like personal personal development. At that same time, I was doing a radio show, The Emotion Picture with my brother um who's still supporting me even here tonight, and UM we were asking we were asking each other really crazy questions based on the topics, and it was like like things about polyamory and threesomes and all these different sexual and relationship experiences and questions, and it was challenging me two really like you know, have you lived yet?

And why are you so conservative? Who? Who put this in you know, in your head? So the conversation that I that I really did have with myself is who

gave you these messages? And like when you start looking at the people as an adult, when you start looking at the people who put things that you live by in your head and you see how the motherfucker's are living today, it's like that's who I'm listening to and why Because either I'm gonna turn out like them, or I just can't like this is this is not a model This is not a model citizen even for me, right and I want to say not even that monogamy is a bad thing, UM, but I know that with

with you know, the conversations that I've had on this UM show the people that I'm meeting being more in this space. UM. A lot of the people that are in monogamous relationships I find to be not only not truthful to their partners, but not truthful to themselves because it's just the ideals around monogamy or that it's one person, one love, you have sex with one person. Even looking at someone else is considered you know what what is it? Um?

Not um? When you covet yeah, you know? And so everything about everyone that I know to be in monogamous relationships spend more time defending their relationship than actually having it, or they're constantly looking for something for the person to be doing something wrong, because as we know, nobody is perfect, and so it's like there's more time spent on seeing

what is that person doing when I'm not around. Let me go through his phone, let me go through the laptop, let me see this person and a lie because all people lie. He can't be this perfect and and so like in the conversations, everything you've said has been so beautiful. When King Noir came in here and spoke on your relationship and and how you guys grow in the communication and just the respect for each other. Um, I'm glad that we could have these conversations for our audience, specifically

for people of color who often grow up in the church. Um. And right now we're having, you know, just all the backlash even just with um, the Dwayne Wade situation with you know, um Zaiah, I think is what she wants to be called, like coming out and just saying I want to be identified as a girl daddy. That is how I live my life and just seeing how many people are uncomfortable with it. Um, so I wanted to get so. We have a segment on the show called

a Hord derv. The Horde derv is a sex tip And to me, I know that you probably have a ton because you guys do fetish training, and I wanted to talk to you. King Noir talked a little bit about what he does. I know he specializes in flogging.

I've seen you as well with the flogging. But could you give some sex tips that you give um during your fetish training and also explain to us what your role is in the fetish training because you guys do it together sometimes I see, well, yes, so can you get into that and your role as a woman and what tips you give to women entering entering into those training sessions. Um. So, one of my favorite things to

focus on is psychological domination. You know, there's a lot of um, there's a lot of focus on like what tools should I use? What you know, all of these that that can take you a while to learn, you know, and to We went to my sex sungine together. I don't know if he told you the last time he was here and this sextungine, I'm waiting to get um the master of the sex Engine on the show. Oh my god. I was good. I love her. I got her number and we went to this and it's so

and I'm gonna let you get back. But I never got to share the sex eungine experience. But the fact that he went in there because he's like, I'm not comfortable with using certain of these toys and I want to be sure I don't hurt anyone. I want to be sure that when I'm teaching people how to use them, because there's some heavy, high quality. They extended me on like this thing and they put like leather straps around

my thighs because you know, I'm a little thick. I was like, um, maybe not the rope, sweet get the love they get the hardest is that hold me up by Yeah? But it was just so incredible to see that even he takes the time to just learn, knowing that he's also a teacher. Um. So I appreciated that as well. But yeah, it was super fun. I was grateful that he allowed me like just I was like, it doesn't notice. Um but okay, so psychological domination talked

to me. So what could you do without using a rope? Harness, without using your hands? Okay, so I'll be I fucking But that's only like if we're at dinner or in a club, Like once you catch eyes with someone for a good amount of time, like it allows it lets them know that you're interested. Um, I would say when I dominate people, I'm I'm vocal, Okay, so I do use my voice. Um, that's good, that's excellent. Outside of that girl I ain't got no special powers. Okay, Okay,

let me. I'm gonna give you. I'm gonna give you an exercise please, Okay. So let's yeah, we'll use this one. So let's just imagine. I'm um, I'm on the West coast, You're on the East coast. Okay, and we're that's too far girl. Okay, we're having a pseudo you and I

right now, a pseudo dum sub relationship. Let's just okay whatever, And UM, I help my my partners, well my couples, learn how to connect when they're not even with each other because a lot of times, you know, people say, we don't have time for for play for you know, we worked so much, we worked these different shifts, or she lived here and I lived there, And that's real. I mean, that's that's that's the world that we live in.

You know. Um, women aren't staying at home waiting for their husbands to come in, you know, they're not they're working now, exacting. So how can you stay engaged? How can you add fetish play kink without even being able to see each other? So, UM, I do the little things like you know, go on FaceTime middle of the day or something like that. UM, ask them what how they're doing at work? You know, it's like I'm doing okay, cool?

Maybe have a task for them. So with something that you're working on right now, a project you've been prepared. Oh I have another podcast coming out, but it's far Yeah, just scheduling to get into the studio. UM, so yeah, that's the project all right. So you're gonna be a bad girl right now. Okay, okay, okay. So I'm gonna say, hey, many how are you? I'm good? Sup? Um, thanks for taking a couple of minutes away from work to talk with me. I wanted to check in with you for

a second. How is scheduling going? It's insane. I have the tour, I have all of these things going on. So are you telling me that you haven't done what you were supposed to do? Oh? See, this is already turning me out, y'all. Hear this, yeah, hear this. No, But I'm going to get to it, like I I. Okay, that's okay. UM. I kind of knew you would say that, and if I were there, I'd be able to punish you appropriately. But since I'm not, you're gonna have to

do it. Yourself, Mandy, So go ahead and walk out your office. Go to that bathroom that's right around the corner. Go ahead, I'll watch walk with me. Take the phone. Okay, she walking out. Okay, she in the bathroom right around the corner. For the thing going that stall. Put your hands out, Mandy. Okay, how many um, how many studios were you supposed to schedule this week to two episodes? To spank your hands twice? Now? You know how you

doing little harder than that? You know, I want to break I gotta show coming up or something like that, and probably not your hands, but you know, put your pants down. Go ahead and spank yourself twice. You know.

It's crazy though to think that I've done this. But so the guy that I pegged, we haven't paid, like, we haven't had that interaction in quite some time, and he misses like he wants to do that again, and most recently and I probably like he's so bad, but some most recently he'll call me when he goes to work, and because it's the West Coast, it's like ten am for me, seven am for him, and he's on his way to work, and we were talking about the things

that we wanted to do. And so when he got to his work parking lot, he played with he fingered his ass in his car for me and set me a video of it because I was like, well, you haven't set me that, so I and of course all of my friends are like, girl, how the hell you beginning, motherfucker to do this, but I didn't, Like, I'm like, I just talked to them. But it is a psychological domination or something like that. With him would be you know, um, this week, you're gonna wear that anal plug to work

for the rest of the week. Yeah, Like and and he'll do like when he's at a stoplight, Like he'll send me a video of him jacking his dick. And he really likes how his work pants feel on his on him, so like that becomes the whole conversation when he's at work and I've gotten him to do things in his office and things like that. So and I

actually used to do this with Lawyer Vey a lot. Um. He would go into the stalls at work and I'd be like, well, I want to see and this is all of me sending him old videos or if if I you know, I wasn't in class and I was at home waiting to go to school. I could sell himself while he was at work. So this is really interest thing. And I think a lot of like the women listening who want to maybe switch rolls. Maybe when they're more of a sub role in the bedroom, this

could be how they dom outside of the bedroom. I mean my sub she lives in in Philly. I think, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, I'm not gonna lie. I would love to bring her. I just maybe want. First off, she's beautiful, she's freaking beautiful. Um, but the submissive level that she's on I've never seen and I and the whole time, I guess and she was called a service sub. He referred to her as a service Yeah, and I was just like, she was everything.

Here's here's your water, are you thirsty? Like just being so very attentive. She's well trained and so you guys trained her as your sub. This is her first dominant dom sub relationship. Wow. So if a woman were to come to you and say, hey, I really want to sub because I feel like that's what would arouse me the most. What are some of the first questions you would ask her to make sure that that's something that would be for her sen your resume okay, professional resume,

not your you know, not your whole resume. Wait wait wait you asking what does that matter? What someone? I want to know what your time, talent, and finances are, Like, oh, I mean, anyone suck a dig for the most part, and I don't have a dick, so that doesn't help me at all. Everybody always comes like I can suck dick so good. I want to be yourself, Like, how

does that help me? That doesn't help you at all? No, not a mother for work, like right, and I don't know who's sucking it because so I got the dial do too, and my my, my mouth didn't even go past the head. I said, I would be incompetent as fuck putting this in my God, and I'd like to think I am a great aid dick sucker you but yeah, but not with that thing. I was just like, nig here you go, you get a hand jut. You know what that's that's one of the drawbacks of having a

big day. Does your jaw stretch from sucking? Like you know how yours? I mean, like your pussy gets used to big dicks, But does your mouth work the same to you? You know, and this is I'm sure it's science. I don't we just get really know what we ain't cool, don't do this. We're not gonna do this, and that's what we're not gonna do. I'm just like, I don't know if the mouth stretches the same as a vagina, it's not. We're getting cool positions. And you know, I

just learned other things that he likes. Okay, I can dig that. I can dig that. So I wanted to actually talk to you UM again. We mentioned the baby, we mentioned your relationship. UM. I did want to get into sorry, UM, non monogamous consequences UM, if that makes sense. And I wanted to talk to you about the boundaries that are set because especially which is now amazing. I didn't know you identified as almost all of the ethical nonmonogamy titles UM. But I wanted to talk about the

boundaries that you UM set. Also how it is dating while being in sex work UM. And then I just had a couple what if questions and how you would handle those being in the relationship that you're in now. UM. So I think you did mention some of the boundary What are the boundaries UM, or do you suck them. You guys seem really like respectable, Like are their boundaries that are set? And the main thing is letting each

other know. You know, there there are some people that UM that he's either dated or wanted to day and I've just been like like, nah, don't do that because like she's stepped to me sideways or you know what I mean, UM, or you know, like if you just didn't get a good vibe where I realized, like I

don't really think that he cares for this person. It's like why try to bring that person into not necessarily into our relationship, but still like bringing someone into my life is still bringing someone into our life, right, So UM, it is important that whoever we deal with not not only that we communicate with each other, but that we are communicating with that other person and they understand what our relationship is like, so there's no there's no confusion,

you know. So that's part of our responsibility. Well, it's funny. We we had this conversation UM as well, like and this is probably after the first UM episode that he did, and I was like just questioning as well as the dynamic and how it works. And maybe it's more so me being wanting to feel in control. But I told him, I was like, I know, Jasmine is you're primary. I don't know if I could ever go into something knowing that I'm under another woman. Um do the other women

that that deal with him? Do you know if that's a feeling, um, that that you come first? Really? Because I know a lot of women do want to feel like their first. Um. But in that dynamic and a lot a lot of these there is a primary, Yeah, there is. And I think the best setup is when when our secondary partner has their own primary partner, you know what I mean. I think that tends to work

the best. Or if they are uniquely submissive, you know, so being or feeling second or whatever anything, but being in the primary doesn't have that same kind of pressure or you know, um other than that, Like for us, our boundaries changed, like we continuously talk about them. With the baby, it was a little bit different when it came to work. It's like, it's work, so I don't get to go like, well, you know, um, I'm gonna

pick who you're gonna start with with that company. Like, but for our company, we we handle that like a business decision. It's not like I don't want you fucking that girl because I feel jealous. Is like, no, like is this gonna sell right when it comes to work? Is just like we make sure that person not racist to talk reckless then you know, and they got a

clean test or whatever, of course. Um. But other than that, we try really hard to keep it open and fluid, because when you have rules that are so rigid, you find yourself being like, oh, I should have created a rule for that rule I forgot, you know. And it

hasn't always been easy. They have been times where I was like, well, I need to know like a week before and you know, right, because yeah, we even talked about that, like the rules and boundaries that you would even set in a threesome, like you know you like, um And I can't remember the guest that we had

on but she remembered or no, actually should it was me? Um, I had a threesome with one of my friends and her partner and I completely didn't have the conversation as if if kissing was too much, and I didn't have the conversation with what really their boundaries were. Um. And so I know that that's something for me like that I would have but also I know, like right now, I don't know if I would want to know it

all UM. To me, it's more so about like, you know, don't have a baby, don't like you know, don't bring nothing back to me, don't have a woman, also questioning my position with you. So I wanted to ask. I asked, I have three questions you already kind of mentioned UM again, I wanted to bring up UM. This is something recent. So UM the rapper of the baby and his baby

mom are currently expecting a child. However, she just went on a complete um posting screenshots and everything else because she found out that he is expecting another baby with another woman. However, when their relationship with like when we all started finding out who she was, she did do an interview and was like, me and him are single, but that's still my boo. So I wanted to talk about even the I guess lack of communication or ideal that we are someone's primary but we expect from them,

but we know that titles suck. But so that made me come to this question, So, how would you handle UM being in the non monogamous relationship that you are, and how would you handle King coming to you and saying Hey, I got someone else pregnant, especially after you too just now started a new family together. What would that conversation be like? And is there a way to

prevent that from happening? Oh? Yeah, there's like well, you know, I think about that more often than than people probably think, because of the type of work that we do, more than his personal sex. Um. You know, I've I've dated him. I know what his personal sex is like. He is very good about using protection, you know. So that's that's one that's important. But the work that we do is not it's not protected most of the time. So I do think, like, and those girls aren't on birth control? Well,

that's not a question that we generally act. So porn porn performers usually do what they're supposed to do to protect their you know, protect themselves from becoming pregnant. Um. Most are very responsible because this is this is our work. You know, you can't most people are not going to

make money if they're constantly having babies, right. So um, but I do think, like, what if somebody forgot to take their pill right or um, what if she thought she was not able to have children and all of a sudden she can uh and you know, that would be a consequence of the work that we do. So that's not something that I could see myself being like,

how do you not know? So you don't feel like it's a consequence as far as in your personal arrangement with allowing him to others, I mean, as long as you're would condoms would So there's a two percent chance. You know, I trust him to use a condom, right, And I also know that I can trust the condom

to do his job up to a certain percentage. So I think, you know, I would probably be upset because this isn't something that we plan um when we were talking about expanding our family, and it may not be through my body and maybe through him in another relationship. You know, we had the conversation. So it's not a foreign thought for him to have a child with another woman, but an unexpected situation, it would feel like an unexpected situation.

Would it feel like cheating? No? Right, I know that that's also been um, not only with what happened with the baby, but um. Dwyane Wade just recently came out with a documentary where he and Gabrielle Union opened up about the break baby that happened. Um, they're both you know, UM aligned with that they weren't technically together at the time that it happened. But I know again in the space when you do allow your partner to go out and have other partners, that these are things that you

hope doesn't doesn't happen. But I don't think we've had the conversation. And of course I wish Weasy was here as well, because you know and I know that UM last episode or a few episodes ago, she was just like, well, I wasn't in town, so I told him go out and have fun and so but I I just don't know how those conversations would be if you're letting him have this fun and then he brings that back home.

Another question that I had is how would you handle or if it's a conversation about your partner telling you that he loves another woman. UM. And I know again you're super open and free with this, but to me, UM, my idea of open relationships is why I would see you're clear of this. I want to me, I know that you could have emotionless sex and if it's cheating, I want you to, you know, go out and have if you if you want to have sex, I don't want to feel like I'm tying you down. Of course,

do it responsibly. UM. But my fear is the idea of you sharing like strong feelings and an emotional connection to someone else. UM. What is the conversation that you have in regarding that and are you find do you feel like someone can fully you know, have all of those feelings for multiple women? I do, UM, I feel like and and knowing him by the time he got to a position of loving someone, then they're already like I've already accepted the idea of them being in our

life for a long long time. You know, they're the women that he has stated that. You know, he's really liked them and they really liked him. And by no means do I approve a relationship. I share my thoughts on it. I share how UM, I think this person will compliment him, will compliment us, I share what I don't like. I mean, I'd be putting it off, and you know that's a decision for him to make. So if I could see, like, this person seems like they're

a good fit. They've been around, they're doing things together. You know, we're talking about her, I talked to her. I could see that, you know, I know he's lovable, you know, and and he is starting to voice everyone fell in love with him on the show, So I would already I would expect that to happen. Now. Unfortunately, excuse me, Unfortunately a lot of these relationships haven't, you know, they haven't made their way to the point of love.

But once I thought that they were getting serious, I've definitely put in my mind, like, Okay, what would that be like if you know, she moved closer to Florida or you know, so I don't know, it doesn't surprise me. And as far as um a man or anybody being able to love multiple people, the way that we look at it is like we could think of hundreds of people that we love, what of all different types of relationships.

And I don't say like, nah, you can't love your your best friend like me, you know, or you got love for your cousin, Nah, love for me. So there's no way that I can limit his love or even look at it from that way. Um. I do understand where people want to have like a certain type and a certain intimacy, but the love that he and I have, he can't have that with you because you know me right right right, So it doesn't like I don't. I

just can't think about it that way. If he said I love her, I would like, Okay, you love her for her, like you don't love her because she's like me, or I have nothing to do with that really, right. So I So the home mail question that I have for this episode, it's coming from me, UM, and it's because I've been talking a lot about relationships on Instagram Live UM again meet with the idea of what I would want UM not being as controlling, you know, because

I would let the person do what they want. But a lot of times the men I've gotten kicked back from the men in my life as well as the women, saying, well, you shouldn't let a guy know upfront that he can go out and have sex with other people. You shouldn't let a guy know upfront, UM, that you're okay with this happening, or that you would allow this or you know. So my question to you is being in the space where I do want to date UM, and I am

looking for a partner that would accept you know. Again, I don't even know where what I would define it as UM. How do I open up and say like, yeah, I want to be with you, but you can also you know, do what you want. But I want something real with it not sounding like a situation ship, you know what I mean, because I think that that's um where I don't know, like I feel like I've been where I knew you was doing what she was doing. I personally don't want to know the girls. I don't

want them coming to me. I don't care about them. Like again, like I'm hoping you're responsible. I don't want to know anything about what you guys do, but I do want to build a relationship. And I just feel like a lot of men are saying that if I'm allowing them that freedom, that I won't hold that title.

So like, yeah, I don't. I don't agree with those men. Um, but again, you know, that might be their thing for their for them and their relations it for me, I think what I had to to make very clear is um at the time that we met, a lot of guys were saying to me because I was doing like these um sex toy parties and all that time, it's like, oh, soon you're gonna slowed it, like you'll you'll you'll want

to slow down soon enough. We get that about the podcast, Like even about us coming on here talking and sharing our stories, they say the same thing like even either, ay, we're not datable right now because of the podcast, um that we say wild stuff. Um of course even in dating, Like one of the first questions that I get is are you going to share this on your show? Like, so it's a it's a lot right now with dating because of the show and us being in the sex space. Um,

but also because we are fairly young. With these non monogamous ideals, I'm finding it hard now to say them without seeming like I just want a situation ship, but that I want more. Well, I think the more the more you define what it is that you want, or even what you're trying to figure out, which is going to explore and judging their reaction. If their reaction doesn't go I want to help you want to stand that, or that's interesting, or I want to stick around to

figure out what that might look like. Then they're not for you, you know what, Like let me be easy for you. So a king, I was like, listen, I don't want to settle down. I like what I do you know? I like that you got this kind of like crazy edgy thing going on. I wanted us to make money together, you know, but I want you to still do the freaky ship because I got the kids. That helps. I need to hear about some of your

freaky ship because I can't okay you. And then when we started to get a little bit more serious, I was like, these are the needs that I need met for me, Like this makes me feel like I'm in the kind of relationship I want to be in. And as long as those needs are met in your spare time, you can do those other things that meet your needs. And I don't want to be responsible for meeting all of your Oh I do not. I like that, And he was he's okay, he has been okay that that

has still maintained been a main thing for us. He said that on the very first episode that I had of him, and he's um and and we had the conversation. He's like, because I think I started the episode with a pretty Ricky song and he was like, what the funk are you playing? And so his example was like, if I'm with a partner or or like my partner wants to go and see pretty Ricky, that's not something that would make me happy. But I don't want to

keep her from happiness. So if she wants to go and enjoy Pretty Ricky with another guy, if I really love my partner, I want her to be happy, why would I not let her go see the Pretty Ricky concert. Look, I know why you and King are friends. Yeah, okay, I get it. You know, you know he would be like, oh, like, I'm texted with Mandy Dad And I was like, thank god, because I don't care about All Star Weekend in that.

Oh yeah, no, no, I know. Look, I know you were like, girl, why are you still talking about this? I know our listeners were like, so this is a basketball podcast. Now I'm happy about your level of excitement, you know what I mean? Yeah, but like y'all could talk about stats and basketball yeah and bullshit. Um he sends music, he um, he um asks me like my thoughts on his scenes, especially too, because he's had bigger women on this scenes. He's had just a lot of

different things. Um. Actually, ship I got He's supposed to be letting me direct one Um what next week or something like that. Yeah, And so I'm like, you know, I've never really held a camera, but I know the angles that I like enjoying. So he's like, yeah, we'll talk about like where we should you know, put the camera and stuff like that, but I just enjoyed too, Like there's a lot of things that, yeah, I don't

understand about what you guys relationship is. And that's why every time he's come on and I've asked questions of how it works. Um hearing also from the woman's side, which is why everyone was like, y'all need jazz on the show? Why isn't Jasmine been on the show? But I love that pretty much You're saying, which I think a lot of people listening have picked up on it too, is you know what your needs are and he meets

those and that's all you need for your relationship. And I think that that's what we I guess we seek people to normally be everything, and it's it's also like not realistic. Yeah, that's why you're always looking to see like you know, right, or wanting more because your your your goal is impossible, you know. So look, let me tell you what else I outsourced anal sex. I don't want to do that. I know you don't. I don't want to do I wouldn't want to do it with

that either. I don't think it's possible to say. He didn't say he's had anal sex before. And I said, how, oh plenty, How what assholes are those taking in? Bro? Like, So we're gonna end up gifting this um and I'm not sure what live show yet, only to somebody who can take in there like you. I'm not giving it to someone who cannot take this thing. So King noir

Um has a mold. And it's funny because I got this when I came into the studio like last week, and I was like, nigga nah, And he sent it with his next to it, and I'm not gonna lie. His looks bigger than this because he was hyped to send my pictures like but even down to the vein. So guys, if y'all were like, I'm like, how does

yours look bigger than this? I said, oh nah, bro, like good good root time we've tried, you know sex, we get like that much tion, right, And but in my mind I'm way back and I'd be like, so then I go, how did I do? He was like, yes, you know what, You're gonna somebody else? So the guy that I just had perpendicular sex with I kept telling him. I was like, oh, I wanted in my butt. I wanted in my butt, but y'all know. So I have a joke that I only do know once a quarter.

But I haven't done anal because I cut off. I cut him off in October, so it's been almost six months since I've had anal. So the last time I was with him, I was like, you can do it, and girl, it was not going in it. It ain't just half the size of this, but it's big and it wouldn't get there. And we started with the toy. I had my butt plug my toy, went through the whole emotions, and he was like, I knew you wasn't gonna be able to take it. He told me he wants to do it. He's only had anal sex one

time in high school and the girl blood. So he's like, I feel like I'm hurting, you know, I just haven't wanted to try it. So I'm gonna hopefully try it again. Maybe I don't know when I see him again, but yeah, no, not doing it. So you outsode, you say, listen, king, if you want to have anal sex, go So ladies for y'all answering the questions or or sending in the questions for homemail about your partners wanting to do threesomes, are wanting to do things that you know you're not

comfortable with. Um, would you call it a hall pass for maybe the people who are in these type of monogamous relationships, because I do like, again the idea of keeping your partner happy and not making them feel prisoner in their relationship right or within themselves. I mean, like, just let's think about it outside of sex, because when when we say sex, like all these extra things come about. But you know, if um, I don't like I don't like Chinese food, okay, and he does, imagine me being like,

but I don't like Chinese food. So that's it. You can't eat Chinese food. You are the rest of your as long as we're as long as we're together. That seems so unfair, but but because because it really is right, you know, it really is how much emphasis and value we've placed on things that at the end of the day really don't hold that much weight. You know what I'm saying. He we're neither of each other's first sexual

experience and we're not going to be each other's last. Okay, boom, Now that that's out of the way, let's like live this great life together. And that's that's so amazing. So there's a bunch of things like I have a male submissive that lets me put dicks in his ass, you know, because I don't like it to mind, but I think that's pretty cool to pay. King's not gonna let me

do that. He's very dominant, like to where even we've had conversations, I was like, oh, yeah, you're not like none of the things out and ever like you two down even watching the videos, like he's just he's so manly, like everything mainly possible. So if I if I want to be on a body that's a little bit, yeah, I'm not going to get that out of him. So what if he said like, no, you can never not even you can never dumb me, you can't dumb anyone else. I would be like, Okay, well that's a whole side

of myself. I'll just go ahead and shut off until forever. Right. That's that's that's it's not realistic. But also why so many people in these relationships are like I'm gonna go cheat or and you know, for all the fellows listening, y'all know we do it better. So just so you know, don't tell us no because uh, look your brothers, you know, you know we kind of cheat better, right, Like women are way better cheaters, were more detail oriented, and nine times out of ten it will be to find what

we are lacking in you. Especially. The problem is a lot of times women will communicate what they want and a man just doesn't fold. On the other end, when a man says this is what I want or else, we kind of feel the need like, oh my god, this is our only way to keep him. And so there's just a different level in exchange in relationships. And also I don't want to say respect, but just bending programming, make the bullshit that he will still leave you for us.

They'll have a baby on you with and you know, you know, and it's it's it's crazy, the idea of well, if I do this, he'll stay, If I do this, it'll keep him. Um. And I think it's also funny, like you know, we talked about Halle Berry getting cheated on. Beyonce probably be cheated on like I cheated on listen. I didn't want to be high to come and attack me. Yeah, you know, I don't want to just we're gonna say

there was some feelings there. Um, but like if those women who we put at this high you know esteem, can be cheated on and probably doing everything right, live up to things that maybe we don't even see, like you nothing to do with them. It has to do with that that other person being able to respect the commitment they made, you know what I'm saying, Like we always look at the person that got cheated on, like what did you do wrong? Like, no, you didn't do

anything wrong. The fucking cheater did something wrong, right, you know? So y'all what I tell you, don't come woman a woman to no woman. No, you better go to your man or you. But that's the thing too, if they're coming to another woman about their man, they're not gonna leave. They're just they're just notifying the other woman, which just

recently happened to me. And again y'all heard the snippet from the bonus episode on the last episode, Um, it was just like, girl, but you also know the man that you're with, and everything that you're telling me is pretty much what I said in that Like, you know, King you know who you're with, you know what he likes, you know, um, what you're capable of giving him as far as yourself, and you're not gonna try to be anyone different than that to fulfill anything else, and you're

allowing him to be the person who he is. I really like everything you said, and now I need to go find my lover, my partner, my man. And I know you guys are listening to this episode, probably questioning your relationship if it's not going well, questioning yourself as far as, um, what you truly want and what will truly make you happy? Um Again, I'm entering I'll be thirty this year, so it's also something to where I've been battling because of course we all still have this

pressure with getting into our thirties, and I have. I mean, I've been in situation ships, I've been with lovers that I would claim as my ex is. But as far as having a real true adult relationship, UM with a man where both of us communicated our titles with each other, that hasn't really been you know there. So with me looking to have that within the next year or so, this conversation was everything I needed. I'm gonna listen back

to this episode and listen back to everything you said. Um. But also if anyone's into fettish training seeing you live, um perform, watch your videos, um anything, can you please drop where everyone can find you? Um, and we'll also put it in the description of this episode. Okay, cool. You can find everything at jet setting Jasmine dot com. There you go and and boom right there, and then also jet Setting Jasmine on Instagram as well, like socials

will be there. Um, you guys can see her. I'm sure if any of you guys listened, y'all see why you two are together. Because the way you, you know, just literally just speak on on almost your existence is the same as him sitting across from us, just speaking into the love that you guys have for each other. Um. But I think you guys know yourselves more than a lot of people. And like I say, um too, and I say this all the time before we get out

of here. Um, you can't expect anyone to give you happiness. If you're not happy with yourself, you can't expect anyone to give you an orgasm. If you don't know how to give yourself an orgasm, you can't expect anyone else to please you in ways and know you if you don't know yourself. Um, and that's been a lot of what I've been dealing with myself, UM recently, just trying to figure out exactly what I want and how to

tell a person this is what makes me happy. Um, you're gonna take this, this podcast, and you're gonna send it to that person this episode listen from from beginning to end. And and if you if you can ride with what we talked about, or if you're even open to having a discussion about so, then let's meet for dinner. Yeah, I really like that. But also just and again, UM, I guess before we get out here, can I ask

you one more question? So a lot of the times, especially because I only do deal with black men, but even in this in the kink space, going to hedonism, going to the sex clubs, UM, I do find it still to be almost taboo for black men to allow their partners to be with other men. So how was that conversation with with King? And and what advice would you give? Is that just not the nigger for me? If he if he wouldn't allow me to also have another man or you know, how do you bring up

that conversation? Um, I mean, I definitely think that we have issues around ownership of our black bodies for sure.

I mean I think it's something that like, you know, other people, not white people in this country and across the world, have had ownership of our black bodies, and then that mentality has stuck, and then it transferred its way into the leaders of our household having ownership of and we see it of we see our black men owning their moms, owning their daughters, their baby moms, you know what I mean, and and so on and so forth.

So I do think that's a lot of work that we have to do to deconstruct, you know, that idea of ownership, especially of black women's bodies. And I think it's important for women to understand that mentality exists and it's not love. You know, that fritnership is not like oh he is not he don't play with me like that, Like no, you know, he's putting restrictions and limitations on you.

So really ask yourself if this is something that's important to you, and this is something that you really want to do, then have a serious conversation, um, and not just like you know, like you stop tripping, Like no, really, I would really like to have sex with another partner, And you know, it kind of bothers me that we

can't get past this. And if he's not willing to have that conversation, he is still operating from a colonized um mentality that needs to be broken down far before y'all go to he though you know she needs to go. You need a deeper level of work there. So you know, I haven't had that experience um with King, but I have dated someone that was like, yeah, we can have like all the threesomes only with women, and it's just like even it's as as someone who's bisexual. I'll have

threesomes from time to time, but that's not ideal. I would prefer a woman just with a woman, and a man just with a man, or a multiple man maybe, but like I like the anatomy of a woman just by itself and the intimacy that comes with being with a woman, and then it's completely different um sexually that I have my interaction with with men, and so I

actually like to keep those separate. But as soon as they find out I like women, it's like, oh, we're gonna have who we are have women all the time, and I'm like, no, no, I didn't really want you can have one like I. You know, I was dealing with seven for seven years. We had two two or threesomes in seven years. And I picked the girls. They were my friends. Um, they're still my friends. Uh, but you know because I picked them, you know, and they

enjoyed themselves and we had a great time and you know. Um, but no again, I want to thank you guys. Check out jet Setting Jasmine dot com. Um, you guys can check you guys are on tour. Goddamn more than us are on tour. All the informations that we're going to all the cities, all the countries. Okay, so if you guys want to learn more about you know, um jet Setting Jasmine performing live again. She does do things solo as well as with King Noir. UM check it out

the descriptions in the episode. Um. Also, if you haven't yet become a patrin bitch, um, go to Patreon dot com Backslash Horrible Decisions. Um it is eighteen and up, which is why you can't just go to the Patreon platform and find us. We post porn, not our own porn, but we do have porn sleepers on there. Um and then we give you guys three extra episodes per month. Also, it's the only place that has allowed you guys to get pre cell tickets for the show. Um. We still

have yet to announce New Orleans and Vegas. Listen, I ain't even gonna hold you. It ain't me. It's listen, it ain't me. Just know that y'all at my comments and ain't me bitch. Um. If anything, I am working my ass off to try to see if we can get something during essence UM in New Orleans. But we do in New Orleans this year. Just know it ain't me, God damn it. We're working on it. Um. Vegas as well.

It's just venues. It's timing. It's a lot coming up, especially with the holidays in the summer, but we're still working on it. If you're sick of waiting. Um again, we have Charlotte. Um. Oh wait, well this week coming up, we have Charlotte. Well now that's next week. I'm sorry. My calendar is a all fus up. So we have Charlotte on March fourth. We have Orlando on March seven. We have Atlanta on the March. By the way, if you guys are interested, thank you, Yes, Vincent, come through

with the come through. If you guys are looking to come to the UM Atlanta show, there are a few tickets left. That maybe our largest show. UM. There is less than a hundred tickets left for that show on March twenty. Then on March will be in Toronto. UM. April five, we will be in the Bay Area, and then we are wrapping it up right now in l A on April ninth. UM, So come out, check us out. That's that Horrible Decisions that com UM. And yeah, y'all know, funk with me. I got some new stuff coming out

with you have a lot of stuff coming out. I'm just excited that you guys have a lot of this space to bring on people like Jasmine to explain and look, I'm learning with you guys. So again, I hope you guys enjoyed this week's episode. UM. And again, this has been yet another episode of horrible Decisions by six. This is okay. Let me read the slow. If you were able to live to the age of ninety and retained either the mind of a third year old for the last sixty years of your life, the mind or body?

Which would you want? If you're ninety years old, you want the mind or the body of a third year old. The body. Can you imagine how you'll sound? She findest fun like I don't care. Like even when I was like in my in my early twenties, I always had an old soul. Niggas thought I was older all the time. I'mould pick the same. I'm my body, nig I'll be fucking seven. Do you have a secret hunch about how you'll die? I don't think about that. I think I'm gonna die on a I do not think about um.

It's so weird because honestly, I have a little flashes. But it's weird because when I'm in a car, when I'm with somebody like I won't to me honestly, it's why I don't I all hop out of my friend believe that your date death day is like already written. No, I don't. I don't think about that, and I honestly want to get off this conversation. Well, I don't think I'm gonna die doing something adventurous, like I think the scariest way for me to die, in my opinion, would

be like drowning. I'm terrified of that. It almost happened to me once. There was like someone I was playing that chicken game whatever, what's it called when you're on someone's shoulders. Oh, well, she didn't realize that I was so deep under and I couldn't get up, and then her legs were wrapping around my neck. And I remember that feeling of almost passing out and drowning, and I would never want that to happen. But I do think when I die, I don't think about it's gonna be

like bungee to the next question number eight. Three things you and your partner appear to have in common? So you can answer this me and you. This is I want to say thirty six questions to love each other? Um, what do we have in common? I ain't gonna lie. People listen to us, and I think now that we're three years in, they realized we don't have much in common outside of love to travel. We both love to suck dick, and we we both get our hair done with. We've we both love to travel, we both love we

both love our friends a lot. We love our friends. We both like ethnic foods. I was gonna say we both like bougie things, but I lowis bitten across and you see I got a very very jacket. But this is just now like things that I couldn't afford um and I also used to. So the niggas i've when I talk about sugar daddies and stuff like that, all of the men that I've dealt with are those that won't buy me. They would never they would never buy

me tangible things. They would buy me things for school, they would pay for my bills, they would do things for my livelihood, but they're they're not materialistic niggas. So now that you know, they know I really don't need that money that way, if I do ask for something, it's like, oh I want this, and they're okay, Like I'm waiting on these wire celshos right now. So it's yes,

the pump that's my Valentine's list. That's literally what I'm getting. Well, it's crazy because so they have a boot version and open til versions and pumpers. So the boots are seventred the and the other two are. So I was like, the boot is seasonal, open toe was also seasonal, because we live, I said, the pump I could wear a year round. I would get in shoes by the way.

Um yeah, but see even my even even on Louis, it's on like, um combat boots they said are uncomfortable for me for those and yeah, those just like listen, that's what I want. I know that you like ship like this, but that's kind of tacky. I was like, it's not tacky. He's like, listen, it's too over the top. He's like it's not. Then you can dress it down, but you can wear that with cargo pants. I was like, I don't know why you feel like it's too much.

He was like, I think it's too showy. He was like, I'll get you some while I sell ship, but it's not gonna be all over it. And I'm like they're just body standing that. I'm not gonna lie like I'm one of those that didn't grow up with money. I don't have family members that have money, and to me, I don't believe in spending so much money on something.

So I was talking to my homeboy about it, and I was like, you know, if I'm gonna buy something, the monogram is gonna be only because they're gonna know if it costs to a hundred and they're gonna because they gonna see it. I don't want just a leather for black leathers. Felt like the y s l like he'll was tasteful and not that much. And he's like no, he was like real, NS know when you have a certain kind of time. I'm like, well, I don't know.

I don't know a bitch with I walked down the street with Well, actually the way saw does have the very round front with a certain kind of thing. But anyway, Okay. Nine is for what in your life do you feel most grateful? Ten? If you could change anything about the your raised, what would be Eleven Tell take four minutes and tell your partner your life story and as much

detail as possible. I think that's a good one too. Um. If you could wake up tomorrow morning having gained one quality or ability, what would it be.