Ep124: These Feminists Is For Everybody feat. Marzy

that you could have. Take your favorite songs and podcasts offline to save your data and listen wherever you are, the train, the plane. It's all there for you. Here to move music Forward. Available now on the App Store and Google Play. Enjoy the show. Hey everybody, this is Wheezy and today's episode is super fucking important for a

few reasons. So I feel like every time I'm out and about, someone will tell me they know me and congratulate me, and they'll tell me they don't listen, especially like men, because they don't agree with what we talk about. And you know, you've actually had a guy like last night say to me at Max Fish, y'all be on that like feminist ship. I don't even you know, I don't be on that ship like that. So if you've maybe felt that way or you're confused about feminism, today's

for you. Today's for breaking down whatever bullshit you thought feminism was. Feminism is the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of, you know, equality of the sexes. And it's not the idea that like TV and society has made where like bitches are hella butch or hating men or lifting up their skirts to show a bush like the White girls was doing on TV. I don't know if y'all saw that ship, but they were wilding. I don't have one of those. I don't actually have hair

on my pussy as an act of feminism. But I am a feminist and all of those things don't define me. So I don't want you guys to think that that bullshit standard that you know has like propaganda has made around feminism is what we are, you know. So during this hour, we're gonna break some of those myths down and basically teach you how to make this world a better place. If you have a pussy, if you're friends with someone with a pussy, if you fuck pussy, and

if you came out of one. So everybody, everybody, everybody everybody came out of pussy. Um, well that was a really nice prelude to the show. Wait, everyone didn't come out of pussy. I came out of stomach. Now that I thought about it, you're so annoying. Why do you fucking got it well out of well, if you wasn't a womb bitch, if you wasn't a womb listen that pussy got sucked and that's where I'm here. UM. So yeah, I'm excited about this week's episode. Guys. UM, once again,

this is horrible decisions. I'm your girl, Mandy B. I'm wheezy, and we do UM have a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful guest today. UM. Before we get started, though, UM, I did want to just open up really, uh, just just shortly about what's been going on with me. Um, this is gonna be we I know we got a lot to go through. UM, but Um, as you guys saw on Instagram and it meant a lot to me. UM, I have been going

through anxiety more than I have ever been. As you guys know, I'm quitting my job soon, and so I think like the closer that I get to leaving my job. Look, see I can't even talk about this, bro, It's so bad, It's really bad. Um but I didn't want to bring this on air because it meant a lot to me. Um. I made a post about my anxiety and what's been going on, and it's it's not only with my job, but even with my weight. I'm having your thing now. Um but I but I asked you guys to send

me some books on how to deal with this. I've never had anxiety in my whole life. I've quit jobs like nothing. I always felt like I can get like somebody. I just always felt things would fall into place. And I don't know why now, at a space where I am in the best place of my life, why I have this much anxiety. People are scared to fail when they do, I'm so scared but of that, and I like, like I said, my way, I'm now wanting to lose more. Like I'm just having a lot of anxiety everything in

my life. Um but I wrote a lot of books. I wrote, I wrote, I wrote to ask about books. Look, this is how like I'm so flustered, like I'm getting hot talking about this something kind trying not to cry. But wheezy, Um, I guess saw that I was requesting these, saw my post about my anxiety, and I got home yesterday to a book in my mailbox UM and it was The Four Agreements, which is a book that a lot of people said that I should read, UM and

it was one that I was going to purchase. UM. And literally I went on Live and was like, which one of my friends did this? So I hit my homegirl, Jazz, I hit my mama, I hit everybody. I didn't think it was because we haven't been in a good space, but I called her yesterday after receiving it, UM, and it just really meant a lot, Like to receive that for any of you guys going through anxiety. If you guys have any UM advice or suggestions, they're gonna say,

therapy be great. I think Mandy wants to anything else everything. UM. So I'm reading books. I'm doing that. And so the reason I got that book and like, right, so Mandy and I we were arguing this week. We're like just three weeks. Well we're trying to like figure out you know, we're both out to quit, so like delegating how this will work is and we're both really perfectionist, you know. I didn't even realize until my therapist said it to me. He's like, both of you have curated a tour alone.

Like you're literally telling me your friends are checking people in, but you've sold out in all these cities twelve shows like and thirtainment bit. He's like, how can you not expect to feel so much ownership when it comes to now having a team. You let power go and you guys have held all your power and so now you're gonna bud heads because you both care about this brand

so much. So like, you know, I really wanted to send the book because I feel like when I'm angry with my friends, I mean like like, if you call me, I'm here right and me and Manny may not be besties, but we still have this business and I don't want your head space to be fucked up or you'd be anxious about Like literally I call her crying and she was idea. Now I'm like, just I've been crying every

day and I don't know why. Like I was literally fucking watching TV, which I was watching Real Housewives of All make and it's the first five minutes I'm just watching in my eyes are just getting are you pregnant. First off, a bitch can't even get dick right now, okay, because I keep missing my dick appointment. Look at I'm am I pregnant, don't you Darren? If I was on a watch voice that ship is coming out episode? Yeah, no,

we got an episode coming up. But the thing is like, yeah, like, even when fighting, I think that you and I haven't done this because like we're so this is so much about our personalities and our chemistry, so it is hard to fight into an episode and to come out good. I'm like, Okay, well, what's a gesture to social body? Like I know that we're not agreeing on one thing right now, like professional ship, but like this relationship should

still be okay. And that's what I'm like basically trying to do with the future of us when we argue, really make it just that workship, but not get angry with Mandy. You know what I'm saying. I'm mad about how Mandy wants something done, but I can't be mad at you. Like it's just we're disagreeing on the work project. I've done it my whole life with working right, So it's like, why do we get so personal? And I'm like really trying my best to like separate. I love

that you're trying to separate that bitch. My therapist also so good because i'd be trying to be all business. I just wrote her an email on strictly business. She wrote me back forty paragraphs and everything started with I feel like I feel like and I'm like, man, but we're just trying to talk about business and you're bringing in our relationship. I just want to talk about business right now. But there is I feel like trying to find that lot. I like it. I'm taking it all out.

Here's the thing, Like, I'm super emotional and I feel like Mandy. Okay, I had to be that person, But what are your signs? Girl? We didn't. We did a whole guy day, but the pisces I'm a libra. Okay, okay, why were you thinking in your head? No, No, I just wanted I just wanted to see because that that helped me a little bit. For me. I want her to understand because like, yeah, I want her business to work.

But you have to remember, like, my feelings are super invested in a lot of this ship, right so to me, I'll be like give them ships out. But if my feelings aren't good with her, I can't do business. Like if I walk into the office and someone comes an attitude of me fucking done, it ruins everything. And see, to me, I've learned like we if we have a

common goal at work. And I've played sports my whole life as well, so there's been people that I hate playing basketball with or I did the relay on track, and so there's all these relationships that I've had where my nigga once we have something to come to like, let's just talk about that, take your personal ship out of it. And I've always taken personal ship out of it. I just got a job and didn't have to interact. That's different. That's why I could have sex and still

not become I've never had a job like this. Me and you, if we don't click, our ship doesn't work period. Like you because you being your feelings, I know you're coming to a bitch. Okay, let's talk about feminism. Are you Are you straight? Because I don't want to hit on you and make you feel uncomfortable, but you're beautiful Yea. Our guests, if you listen, I know you'll be listening to us. Y'all gotta watch this whole No, you're not a story. Okay, y'all, I'm not gonna restrain me like

bell hooks right now. Okay. Like, so, we have a guest in the studio. Guys, her name is Mars. Can you go ahead and introduce yourself to our audience? Hi, Mars love Joy. Um, yeah, I think I'm I was thinking about this in the shower. I was like, they're gonna have me try to introduce myself about He asked me, like, who is she? And I'm like, yo, I don't know. I just know she's feminists flying, this is us feeding. Rihanna follows her, she said, we are. That's only what

she said. I said, who is she? She's like, well, Rihanna follows her. So she's like what it is like, it's funny when you find someone who's like it ain't like you have millions of followers anything, right, but that like all these industry people follow and you're super chill and there's not like you're You're not a singer, you're not an actor. So you're right, Look, she does everything we don't know, So tell us what what do you do or why are you known? Because you do have

a blue check? Right, no, chick, Okay, so what is it that you do? Um, I don't think they want me to have a blue check? Say that ship, but what are you gonna have one for a bit? That's the thing. Well I do. So I started when I graduated high school. I started doing music and I was like full for is doing like rapping singing. Yeah, so I had a little music like moment like open for Erica. That's not a little music, Okay, it was popping. But then I quickly realized, like I had to really now

I was young. I was like eighteen nineteen, and like being that young around a whole bunch of men, grown men moving in this music industry for a long time, like trying to make me like a sex and bowl and I wasn't there at that, Like I was like super humble or like I wasn't gonna like left Eye Missy Elliott, you know, like I was on that so um so it just had to learn a lot through that.

And but in that like I like all of my friends were making music, and I knew that eventually my friends were going to blow up and like be superstars like not not re read but Nicknaked, Um but so so that's how I started and I was acting and so a lot of people know me from that and then um, just like being in every fashion week. No, no, are you working for a magazine? Right? So my husband

has Office magazine and like I help with that. But um, but yeah, so I've been and I grew up my the link like being like a child model and stuff like that. So I've been in this kind of industry and I think you know that's why, and that's I'm

sorry the creative industry that you keepep going. But I'm also just really glad that you've kind of had that in in the industry because we're talking about feminism and being in the space where we're at now with the Me Too movement, Time's Up and all of that thing, um and all of the people in the industry coming out and saying how women are treated and what is expected of women um at these young ages from girl groups and all of that. So you kind of have an in in that. So I'm excited to kind of

even touch on that. Um, do you want Yeah, I only have a few more questions. I want to know. I honestly would stand you and your man like for at least fucking when did you get married a year ago? We got married October teventeen. Damn, I've been fucking following you that long. Yo, y'all. Win was crazy. You had a cage on your face, and Ship, I was like, in, you know, he got the little year old look. You know,

I stand for a little's way. So I wanted to discuss, like, so you met your husband, you seem very pro black. I am very pro black, Yeah, but I don't. I don't. I don't know you, right, So you seemed very pro black from your Instagram I'm watching and then I was like, oh, Ship, but your man's find the book. They get married, it's do pass wedding. Like, how has it been for you with interracial relationship? Like have you had one before? Not really?

Like I like funked around with some white boys in the past before, but like not really um like Filipino Latino black like that. I never like had a real white man. So I kind of want to dig into not not dig into it too much. But so I had this um. I was a part of this conversation on the grapevine UM, and it was about kind of people who are pro black, like the Childish Gambino and all these people, and then you are all the time you are with someone who's white. Does like, how do

how does that work? Like I can't imagine myself as being someone who's pro black and I'm all here from my kings, and then I marry a white man, um, And I think the same with Childish Game, you know, you do everything for the black community, the same with um who's Jordan Peel. All of these people are so pro black, and then you're with a white woman and in your case, like, how does that work? And why? I think? I think, first of all, like it's transparency.

I think, you know, like for me, like I'm not trying to hide anything, you know, and I didn't like even Virgil, you know, like there's these men who like these black men who like it kind of seems like they're like hiding their partners in a sense, their white partners.

And so that's one thing. But also like as a black woman, just my history and like an our history of like being like you know, even going back from ancestry and like you know, being brought here to this country and like being told what we can can't do and how we can use our bodies and when we can use our bodies and all of and just like being in that space like for a black woman, like I feel like I can do whatever the funk I want to do and like and whoever I love and

whoever I choose to love and whoever I'm with like that, Like now y'all are giving my husband power like, oh, she can't be pro black because of this person, and like and so like, and I feel like damn, like I here, I am doing work in my community. Here, I am being transparent. Here, I am speaking about all of these things. Yet y'all are based in me off of who I'm with, that to me is not pro black. So so I've had a lot of time to think

about those things. But also like I never thought I was gonna like be with a white man like I always I always and I always like the way I envisioned my children, like my mom and dad are black, like like the way I envisioned my children are. You know, I was gonna have a little brown baby like so

like that, you know. But also I'm I was in the space like and it's so crazy to be in the engine engine room because like before I met my husband, I was dating Prodigy and like this was his main this is where he works out of was Um and so like I was, I just I was in the space where like you know, I've I've tried, like I've had these like dated women, dated men, like different races, Like I've never even been that type of person to like really trip on like on what like you could

line all my people up like their sex, like their gender is different, they look different, Like it's all like that, do you guys dentify his buying Caeer my home girl just says, all my niggas like they put two point oh, three point oh, they're like all these niggas are brothers. Like all the guys I did would look alike, Like I have a type so here that you're able to like say like listening to type, though I don't think

I don't think so either. I mean I think when it's a fetish, like you know, that's the bad thing. But I mean that I don't have a type of well my type really color, but they kind of are the same. Like creative dudes. I like tall dudes. I like tattoos. I like folk niggas. I love when they're like yo, my feministion to ah, that's always been like white or black, they're always kind of the same. You know,

my name is different. I feel like, but I feel like when it becomes toxic to you and you're just like you're just resisting against it, kind of like that quote that you brought up, you know, like pretending to be happy in these spaces, like I think I was at a time I had my best one of my best closest friends have passed away, and then like I was dating Simon and I was like, nah, I'm not doing anything, like my whole life just changed. But he

was like, no, I'm gonna stick around. And I think like being able to receive love like whenever it comes, however it comes, I think that is really important. And I think you know a lot of people kind of like you said, like you have this idea of what what love looks like and in your mind, and if it doesn't pan out like that, if you keep on trying to force it to be like that, then you're

not going to be happy. I really like that what you just said, because someone said to me once like recently with dating two people, right, troublesque kind of relationship going on and she was like, well, if it doesn't work out, like then maybe a proof that troubles aren't successful. And I was like, what, Like, I've had love, I've had broken up with people, and I considered them successful relationships.

Not every ending. I've had successful jobs that I've ended, you know, like not every ending is means that it failed, you know, Like I am happy with the love I'm receiving right now if it ends up growing into something cool. If it doesn't cool, like I'm really a fan of leaving, Like things just happen where they those too, And what you were saying about people have an idea of marriage. I'm curious to know because you were like I told him, Nah was it casual? Like how did it start? How

did I was dating start? Yeah? Like do you feel like you knew when you knew? I was like this will be a little summer fling or something like I was not. I wasn't looking for and we are we are believe it's real. So but you know I had like I was like I was dating Prodigy and like we had a great like we were friends before and we had a great like it was it was one of those like really fiery passionate, this is amazing. But then we crashed and burn type relationship, you know, And

so I was coming off of that um. Two thousand sixteen like was a horrible year for me personally, Like I lost a lot of people, and my grandfather died, one of my best friends died. Like, so I was in this space where I was like, funk everybody every same. A year later, we'd so we start like we pretty much like we're like, okay, we're boyfriend and girlfriend now. October two thousand and sixteen, he proposed. April two thousand seven, I got pregnant. I got I got pregnant like into August,

and then that October we got married. And then that next April we had the baby. Wow, happens that fast? Where my niggat I falling? You've been you've been telling Bobby No, oh no that's gonna stay. I'm sorry. I don't actually have a Bobby at all, Like I don't have none of what I'm saying. By no, that's what I'm saying. I have no white men even I mean not even mixed with white. Like weally met at a party,

Like we met at one of his party. Is that my like my black homeboy invited, like you know, so it was I'm going that you got a very good like if no one's ever been a white guy, like he's like the perfect looking one like Taddy. You know, he got the short haircuse, so he's like for nothing. He's Danish and I was gonna says he's very euro and like, I'm not like I know my history and

I'm not like excusing anything. But like white Americans, it's different, like the way he say this is it's totally different. I don't know. I'm out of this slope white American news. And this is the funny thing when people come for me, right and they'd be like, I can't believe you being these white boys. I'm like, I'm not sucking these white boys. I'm really not. I'm just not. I can't do it.

So we're actually gonna go a little bit like let's do the Vanilaia after because the kink of the week that we actually found has to do with this type of ship, this inter racial ship. Um we found. It's called Queen of Spades. So for all you white women listening, listen, twenty seven of you, um technically, um, Queen of Spades is a married white woman that enjoys sex with multiple, two or more well hung black males at a time

on a frequent basis. The woman is typically a swinger and engages in sex with the permission of her husband. The wife may maintain one or more steady lovers and referred to them as her boyfriend, her bull, or that she is black owned. Frequently, the husband and wife will film the wife's escapades for future enjoyment. So we watched like it will be like BBC cup holding. I don't mean we watched. I'm just saying, like, you know when we know about it like that, right, we know about

cup holding. But I have never heard of this queen and people tattooed on the brow like they have if you the space tattoo type in Queen of Spades, there's a spacece tattoo on this heard that. I've never heard this ship. It's on their leg, it's on their pussy, like it's somewhere. So I was reading this hilarious thread on Reddit about the funniest porn comments, and one of them had to do with the Queen of Space hat

and I'm like, oh, what is that? And so then I googled it, and that's when I felt this ship that is crazy. I'm just gonna saute. That made a lot of calm when I first started the show, and then like, you guys are gonna run out of talk about there's no way. Literally half way through the hundreds right now, and we're still like, I sent her video, We're gonna do it on another episode, but I'm not

gonna lie. That's why I went to try to find another king, because I was like, this is too soft for us to do the kink that I sent you today. I was like, we're not gonna bring this up in the middle, but it's a I'll send you the video. I'll send you the video. It's a little while, um, but no. So when she sent me the Queen of Space thing, I was like, here's my question to you, though, because we've talked about this often, do you feel like it's a fetishism of the lost on the by the

husband or the wife or both both. Bro, that's disgusting. Don't clean spain not here. Niggas know that you're like, you're I mean, you're king shaming. I'm king shaming. When it comes into race play, I think that sho is discussed, So what's crazy is when so I went two years ago to hedonism. It's a it's a resort in Jamaica,

and I talked about I've mentioned this before. There was a piano night, so on the piano, everyone like sits around the piano and the guy on the piano just starts freestyling these songs about the people who are in the audience and it's really fun. It's sucking funny a ship. And so he asked questions to the different couples sitting around, and there was this older couple. It was a white man and a white woman, and so she he asks for the purse to go and see what's in her

little clutch. In her clutch, there's condoms. So they weren't magnums, they were just like regular condoms. And so the piano guy was like, oh, she must not like goes to talk about the size of him, and the husband immediately said, oh, those condoms aren't for me, there for her. And they literally go into a conversation saying, we're in Jamaica, we

know what we're looking for. They wanted a black guy like to join the room with them, and me and my friends looked at each other like and he said it so confidently in front of all these other couples, but was like, oh, no, these condoms are for her, and it's because we're in Jamaica. What do you think we're looking for? And they literally came to Jamaica for

black men to fuck his his wife. And it was just like like she said, and they said all open, and she was like, yeah, so if anyone and we all just looked at them, like me and my friends looked at each other like this is kind of weird. Like they're literally saying they're here to search for a black man dingo. And I was just like and they said it just so confident. Really piss me off. That's

pretty crazy. That's why I'm more than you know. You hate when I say BBC, but it's not like I know you like niggas, but like the BBC ship I've never seen really it was like black people to get like, I don't know, I do like big black cocks, so like I don't like little black cocks. I like the big ones. I'm just saying, not all black cocks are. You don't even say I don't. That's why you just bring it up, Okay, so that DoD I do want to do you know that dicks are big? Say it

like that? Just do we know dicks are big when we say it like that? Because like we say it in our friends are what I mean, like, did you last night? But she had dude? Like That's when you know it was like good? So if you do, it's not preferred to it better than the best. If there is not, if there's a scene, k at it at the end and they can't say that, they can't say due holy fuck. See look you already know what they call it. They got a cock cock. It doesn't once

O vanilla ship this week? So are vanilla ship For those of you who don't know, Um is our sex in the news conversation? Just so y'all know we'd be doing research or whatever, but want you all to know that sex is everywhere around us, um, whether it's someone you know we got locked up, or even if we dig into the politics of it. I'm so sorry I said this isn't attachedment so you can't click on the link. That's why I said bitch was the goddamn take it a week. Look, see this is what happens when she

produces nothing Oh my god, stop, don't want the press. Okay. So I've been like writing a lot, which is why I'm using my computer, and I just didn't realize that, like I couldn't click on it from here. Yeah. Do you see why our outlines are like so long? Now you know I'll be paying spy. This is great. Okay. So I found this article mainly because I heard this rumor that this dude sued this chick to get his money back from like not splitting a date, and it

was real. Wait wait, wait wait, he's a Texas man's Texas sue's a woman for texting during the first date and explains his lawsuit. Tuesday afternoon, there is big news about a small lawsuit. Brandon Vezmar filed a suit against a woman who he met on Bumble, alleging she had text during the date and she owed him the ticket price of seventeen thirty one Guardians of the Galaxy. No, he's psycho. Um. Yeah. The story has largely been treated as a quirky case of a person attempting to correct

bad behavior through unusual means. He said. The woman said at a very brief day with Brandon that I chose to end prematurely. His behavior made me extremely uncomfortable, and I felt I needed to remove myself from the situation, from my own safety. He had escalated the situation and far past what any mentally healthy person would. I feel sorry. I hurt his feelings bad enough that he needed to commit so much time and effort into seeking revenge. He

can move past this. But small seventeen dollars right? But no, what was? But that's no for sure? But not only that, Like what was? How much does cork fees? Calls for that? Like you're going above the seventeen dollars for corfees. I don't know do taxes and we'd be having a call for notice. Isn't ship girl do taxes? Girl? I do tex I do taxes for hedge funds, And so we

get like notices from different states. I'm on the state and local side, and so we'll get a notice for likes and seventeen cents and the client will have us call for it, and I'm like, our chargeable hours are like two hundred an hour just for an account. So it's just like you're spending two hundred an hour for me to call a state about notice. Bitch? If you don't just pay that ship. So for him to just

not take a god damn seventeen dollar loss. First of all, didn't die, he said, honestly, he describes it as a date from hell. He said that he didn't think his companion had a it could be bad time. I don't know. I didn't know that this is a bad date for her. I think that this is probably a really great date for her. I was really nice. She seemed to be having a great time until the point where I asked her stopped texting, I bought her pizza, drove her car.

I thought this was fun and nice day. He drove. I don't know if that's what it says, drove her car. I don't know why. Maybe it's mistyped. Um, this was a nice, fun date. I wasn't actually interested in seeing her again very early on, but she was nice and the conversation was like, I feel comfortable. Can you can to continue the date. I don't think this was a bad experience for her. I think this was a bad experience for me. I think what's a bad experience for

her at this point is her being responsible for her behavior. Um, she's saying that basically it was yeah, inappropriate for her to text during the movie. So I'm not gonna lie during a movie during a movie. But so here's the thing with this that some money he want to be he said, He said that, I mean it is it is like, you don't text during a movie, which I have a business. I will on a date on the day, I will. No, I don't give a funk. I don't

agree with him. But like, if you want a movie, like what if the movie was bad, you saw Guards of the Galaxy, I probably would text during that too. I don't know what the funk that is, but it sounds like I'm gonna text daring. Then let's go to a movie that we both like that we're not gonna be texting that Honestly, I am just like really surprised that you can't understand why texting would be bad during

a date. But that's so during a date. That's like if we're having a conversation, if we're having a conversation over dinner and we're talking and then I look on my that is rude. But if we're in a movie, we're watching the screen, we're not talking. I'm going to Mitch, I'm gonna let me check my email because the bitch is busy there though. Yeah, but what's going on, I'm

gonna take a little break. I'm good interrupting you with an important message from our sponsor today, True and Company, the amazing fucking braun Mandy and I have been telling you about. Actually I'm wearing it in one of my new pictures on Instagram with like a little black bra, so I'll be roll with you. I'm not a BRA fan, but this ship is so light I just can't really

tell I have it on. I people thought it was like a sports bra almost because of the way it fit me, the material and tit's liking juicy, you know what I'm saying. You won't believe how good it looks. Seriously, it's like buttery soft fabric. It smooths you out in all the right places. And what's game changing is that it comes in seventy wire free options. I was wearing um a v neck one in black, but honestly, you'll want them all. They come in scoop neck, convertible straps,

all that ship. Um. They've sold over half a million of the original True Brady bras. I would love for you guys to try it and tell me what you think. You can use our code horrible say go online true end code dot com slash horrible. Enter our code for off free and easy returns. You're gonna love it. Send us a picture of your TITTI is it so? As we've said UM a lot in the beginning, we are going to get into kind of feminism and what it means, um,

if you guys have not checked it out. I was recently on the red Pill podcast with Van Leathan and he got into kind of a conversation about patriarchy, feminism, UM, and being courted, and I like did a deep dive into why I feel like I can still be feminists um and expect a guy to pay for things. UM. I had one thing that I think you didn't say what you said. I still believe in the patriarchy a little bit, and I think the confusion with that is

being courted is not a patriarchal thing. I've been with women and they've courted me, and I've courted women like right and like taking charge of being assertive, we gotta break like that's not patriarchal thing thing, right, Like you just enjoy someone doing those things for you, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you believe in the patriarchy. So

I think that's a very big confusion with that. So but it's not because I still do because I still believe, which is odd and I know it can go both ways.

But if I expect certain roles from a man, such as paying the bills, such as being the providers, such as all of the things that I talked about, I still also believe that as a woman, I want to I still want to do the woman roles, I guess, the female gender roles of cleaning of um, doing the dishes, and and being kind of submissive to my man in those aspects of the house because I expect for him

to be the man of the house. So I still kind of do feel like as a woman, even though I'm feminist, even though I'm independent, even though I have all my own money and blah blah blah blah, I still believe there are certain roles that as a woman I want to do. And that's why we kind of got into the argument. We also like your choice, But yeah, I do think Um, for me, I don't believe in

that the patriarchy should stay. I think that it's really sucked us over with work, Like I mean, how many times are we walk in aucking office building and you count the women in the room, or even when I get hired and I'm like, oh, it's a girl here. Like the patriarch has really fucked us up, not only like for our personal money, but like just a livelihood and sanctity of our bodies with you know, them making

decisions over us. So that's why I feel like I can't say I really believe in it anymore, but I know that I do appreciate a masculine energy, right, So whether that means being assertive and them doing certain things for me, possibly, but I don't want to use those words because I feel like it means they have a greater meaning. I don't know what are you thinking when you're listening to this, um, I think I think you're like that's your valid and wanting feeling like wanting to

have a man do certain things. I think, like you said, have feminism, like you choose your own way. Yeah, that's really like I personally, like I don't say I wouldn't say I'm a feminist. I like the like the term woman is just because like feminism has like especially like because it's like really started with white women, like the whole, and like it's excluded a lot of black women, a

lot of trans women. So like when I think of feminism, I know what's changing and is becoming a lot more inclusive, and there's so many different sectors of feminism, but like, I don't know. We talked about that with Jamila Lemieux. She's really big on feminism, and that was actually one of the conversations we had, like how can you view feminism? Um? And both of them, Um, we see and Jimmy Love

both differentiated between white feminism and black feminism. But to me, the whole idea of feminism is we're all women still, So I guess womanism is more so inclusive of you feel like everyone. I like that work. I think there's like a main point that I would like to just make a kind of ended. There's no men here to like sit and bitch about it, but there I feel like men always want to throw down our throats that we don't want to split bills. Oh you feminine that

I wanted, and so here's my issue with that. We already are making seventy eight cents to the dollar, And that was my argument. I want to say this one thing to just kind of piece it in and maybe take men and women out of it. If I go out with one of my friends that I make more money, then now I'm generally paying for more of our drinks. I have always across the board expected someone that's making

more to spend more. And I'll tell you where. We also see it when I was taking people on lunches and then I would go to lunches with um, let's say, a boss or something like that. Literally, in the guidelines for UM putting in my UM, what am I saying? The word when you pay? What's it called? When you put in your expenses my expenseer for it, it would say the senior person must pay, right. So I've always just noticed I felt like if a man is making more,

it does kind of make sense for them to pay. Why, I mean, why have me shell out when I'm still growing? And then actually like, and that was probably the only part of the conversation, Fan was like, I've never heard it set like that, but that's what I said. I said, as as women, even though we do have the right to work now and the right to vote, and you know, we're now our rights of our bodies are being taken away, but we there has been a lot of rights given

to women at the same breath. In the same breath, we're not given the same exact opportunities because we are paid less, specifically as black women. So as black women, we are like damn near at the bottom girl with the with the at the bottom of the totem pole as far as the gender pay gap, and then of course when you add the race of us being black women were paid even less. So it's just like to me,

we're sitting here at the very bottom. And so if I'm given the opportunity to make less than you, I'm you know, I'm already put at the bottom, Like how can you sit here and expect me? And that's the thing,

it's just like recognizing that. And I'll be honest. I am the last person I dated seriously as Jeeves, and he didn't make as much money as I made, And I did find myself wanting to pay for things so that I could do him like frankly, like I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable if it wasn't in his that's cute, that's broke. Next, I mean it happened to me. I don't I don't want to date. The negative makes less to me. But I didn't even hold you.

I went on, I went to the movies. We got Damn fell Embay and I just texting the hoel no no, no, no I wanted. But we got an uber coming back to my house and it was only seven dollar uber and I was like, you lucky because I would never pay the scot Damn with anybody else, but it's seven dollars. And I literally and I even told him, like, we're going to the movies, You're paying for my candy. I don't care if it's if it's a twenty dollar box, like we're on a date like and he makes a

lot less to me. He caught me a millionaire the whole time. And I was like, so, I mean I dated this dude like I would say pretty. We hung out like four times a week, We went on vacation together, like I was dating him for about six months, like quite a bit of time. And there were things that I wanted to do and include him in. And I knew he liked to take me on dates, like he totally understod of that about me. So if I knew he couldn't afford them, and I wanted him to come

with me fucking not paid for it. Now, like was it ideal? And I way more happy now than I'm with someone that can do all of that. Yeah, but still,

what are what are your thoughts? What are your thoughts on kind of the splitting bill conversation, the courting conversation but yet still wanting to be a womanist and own own your independence and those things like is there is it kind of a hypocritical line of it, because I know that's that's what I've read in a lot of the comments that I was being a hypocrite to saying I was feminist but yet still expected the patriarchy and

gender roles, Like what are your thoughts on that? As someone who is for women and you know, moving forward in that, I think, I mean, I'm always the person who's like it's probably a problem, but I'm the one who always wants to pay, like I'm always gonna like no, I got it, just like I feel like that's who I am again, and I do and I don't pride thing and might it might be a pride thing, I don't know, but it's that's not to say, like you know, like you can't get a trick, like you can't get

somebody to trick on you or to like, you know,

spend money on you or something like that. But like for me, like if we're going out to eat, like I'm I don't know, I guess I don't want some not maybe less than a date situation, but like friends or whatever, Like I don't want somebody trying to like having to hang something over my head like oh I paid for you, or like you know how petty people are, Like so, I mean it's dates, I don't feel that way, but with friendships sometimes I do, like and it's not

that I've ever felt like a friend would do that to me, but I want to make sure that like I pull my weight and then even to sit with friends that I may be doing financially better than now got to. I don't conversation. To bring it to friends is completely like friends. Okay, all right, so dates and saying it's dates and if you're being with someone like yeah, has friends. But here's the thing we relate relating it

to dates, I mean to friendships. I think is the point there because we see what happens in the dynamic when someone is making more or who's treating who. For example, why am I splitting a bill with you when you invited me out on a date? Yeah, that doesn't make sense. No period, if you wanted to take me. When I tell my homegirls, bitch come out with me tonight, blah blah blah blah blah, and they come out the house to get ready with me, I'm not gonna front. I

get their drink. Like I invited you. Now, I we make this decision together. Like, but when I decision to invite someone anywhere, I do that. Period. If I invite you to my home and we're gonna eat, I think it only makes sense that I paid for the food because I invited you here, I'm hosting you, Well that makes sense. But if I invite anybody to do anything like,

I think it's I don't know. For me, I guess I really haven't been on that updated and like been on a lot of days, but like for the most part, it's kind of like it's by actually, like the first day is kind of like, yeah, you're gonna pay. I think that's a little insinuating, And if it becomes an issue, like I might just pay it and whatever. But then I'm like, I know how that. I don't know how

that relationship you what. Like I'm saying like if if I was put in a situation or his date and there was a date and he was like, whoa do you want to split it? Or like the exactly if it's like that, then I put my card down less like that's it, and now when I'll never see them again exactly, and now I know where that's not exactly I think. And I want to explain this one thing because when it happened to me, I was confused member with the Asian dude I went and I was like,

what the fund is this? And it was really that I just didn't find him to be generous or giving enough, and I didn't like it exactly cause I knew he had money exactly. That's the thing that's a big But there's a difference between paying for a date because you're genuinely not interested. Because I've always said, if I'm on a date and I'm just having a good time and I don't like the nigga, a free meal isn't worth it.

So I'll pay my mill and be like nice to meet you, thanks, and then that's where we did that. But to see but to just pay it just because you're not into I don't understand, Like, did he ask you to split the bill? What? I don't understand your story that you just said with the Asian I thought I thought I had talked talked about on the podcast. Maybe it was only on my Instagram. So I went

out with this Asian dud. Remember I was into him, Like, we went on a few dates, and when the bill came, he would ask for two see no, no, because and we could both be like, even if you have five dollars in your pocket, I have five dollars in my pocket, Like, let's figure it out. Actually, the first day we went on bad but I'm talking about being generated. It was up here for like ten minutes, and then I realized he wanted to split the bill. So then what the

check was? Just you went on a second date, even though that happened on the Honestly, I was really the date was that good? Bro? No? I was like, that would negate the entire days? What happened this second date? I brought it up right now, bro. He invited me out and bring it up as soon as y'all left. I didn't know what to do, but I knew I really wanted, like I was really into it, Like I literally was in the bathroom, touched my homegrow about how great it was going. So here's what happens. I go

to work the next day. I'm talking to everybody about it and they're like, Yo, this is crazy. Now he, for one, I could bet my life on it. I know he has money. His work is I don't want to say it because anyway, he's a creative. There's evidence that he's got money. So this was very strange because I knew it was I'm like, is he not that into me? Maybe this was friendly? So when we went on the second day, he invited me off for drinks

he paid. I said, oh, I'll be honest with you, like I just thought it was weird, like the whole spinning wild thing. And he was like, you know, I'm I'm really sorry if that was offensive to you. He was like, but this is just like how I've kind of been. I don't want you to think that I didn't, you know, I'm not interested. And he was like, I paid for the drinks because you know, I just didn't think about it. But normally when I have a meal with someone, I do split it and he was like,

I just that's how I've been. He was like, I'm disgusted bringing up my face is probably showing on YouTube. This this just honestly, I mean he could be discussing what it is. I wanted to see him again and I wanted to figure out what it was. Obviously I couldn't keep going to me, it's less about you having

money and more about you being generous. Yes, you know, because you like if you don't have like you could have ten dollars in your pocket and like we're going on a date, but if you spent eight of those dollars and just like me knowing that you spent that those eight dollars, like that shows. That's why when I was dating Jeeves, the ship that we would do together and the dates he would take me on, Like I was so impressed, like everything that I would want to do.

Maybe I wasn't eating scrgo would I love? But I mean he was actually cheap in Paris. I mean yeah, but that's because maybe Hamburgers a chieve here but expensive somewhere else. That makes sense. But I mean no, I was like really impressed with the thought he would put into things and he knew what to do with prisman. So I'm like, fuck it. If I want to do some five our missions ship, I'll pay for you because it's a ship. I like, You've made it work enough.

But I couldn't keep it going with this dude because I was like, I see how it works. Like when I want my bitches, we do. I'll get the drinks for one bar, you get it for the second bar. If he can't even think like that, it's just tacky to me. UM. So I want to dive into myths of feminism. Um, I'm glad we have that conversation. I want you guys to like join in the comba with us, share how you feel about it. Um. Yeah to myth number one feminist hate men and are anti men. Uh. So,

like I've got the bell hooks here. UM. Shout out to my homegirl Gila. She sent this book in the mail to me and I fucking love it. I want to read this excerpt that I really like. UM. Without men as allies in uh, in the struggle of feminist movement, we will not progress. Uh. As it is, we have to do so much work to correct the assumption deeply embedded in the cultural psyche that feminism is anti mail,

feminism is anti sexism. A male who is divested of male privilege who has embraced feminist politics is a worthy comrade in the struggle in no way a threat to feminism, whereas a female who remains embedded to the idea of sexist thinking that men are bullshit. She didn't write that. Um, but you know what I'm saying and basically thinking and infiltrating that the feminist movement shouldn't include men is a

dangerous threat women that act like that. And I really like that because it kind of makes me think too about like when people talk about not liking white allies that are popular and out there, you know, like I really do believe we need white people to sit at the tables and I won't have to see that. And

so how did Obama get an office? Not all not did by black people, right, I mean, if you want to take it there, no, I mean it's just percent of us, right, maybe fifteen now, I don't know, like as far as in the country, but for women, I really like that, Like I'm not anti men at all, which, so what you're saying is it's because because I see it on the timeline a lot on her that a lot of people assume that women who are feminists or

all for female power automatically are a niggazine ship. It's not the same like wanting women to have rights, wanting women to be empowered, wanting the sexual liberation of women

to just own themselves doesn't automatically mean niggasine ship. And I don't know why men, I guess can't see that we can uplift ourselves and still want them because like, yeah, I mean, y'all be ain't ship because you're like, that's the ship i'd be kind of like talking about, but like not for a second when I talk or joke about that in my ever against men. I love men, I love my male friends, I love male energy. I'm

getting ready for right now. But when you see feminist on someone's ship, don't just you know, think you better run? And sorry, girl, my nail glue spill all of my purse, so I gotta receipt for eight dollars such to my goddamn um thing. But my bad No. So it's funny because the feminism movement right now niggas hate and I don't know why. Like I think I see a lot of men who hate like I think it's because of

propaganda on TV. Like listen, a good friend of mine, I funk with him hard, and a lot of people don't is Andrew Schultz. He totally I mean, I don't know who that is? Hell yeah what? A lot of people will literally question why we keep bringing him on the show. It ain't that much more people like his episode is great. I'm saying people will question, but he doesn't.

He'll make jokes about feminism, right, and so that idea of it, though, is that you know women are he's like, he'll say, like it's always an ugly woman, I ain't always look this way and blah blah blah blah blah. But that is really what people believe because that's what we see. It's only funny because we know we really see that ship. We see the idea of feminism looking that way. So I want you guys to all understand I'm a feminist. I bought some titties. I didn't I

like it. I shave I wax like, I like wearing lipstick. I don't feel like feminism has a look. And I think that thinking that it's just one way is really the problem myths. I think another myth with feminism is that, um, we don't need it anymore. Um that I would love to talk about a lot of people feel like, oh, like, how the fuck can you, you know, really be a feminist when you're getting paid. Well, oh, you're out here, you're an entrepreneur, you're doing your thing. Like, but you're

a feminist, Like what's really wrong? And so what a lot of people don't understand is that take a side wage. You have to take aside housewives, all of that ship. I live in New York City. I literally have been outside for maybe a total of ten minutes today, go and train to train, and four niggas have cat called me. How do you think that fucking makes me feel? Do? Does everyone just assume I like it? That is some fucking bullshit. That to me is anti feminism thinking just

because it nigga compliments me. I like it. The fucking war again, sex workers right now, that's where we need feminism. Look at Alabama abortions, that's where we need feminism. Like it's all over the world especially, I mean, yeah, and this is where we live the world. I want to talk to you about that too, because I feel like that is a huge fucking myth that we don't need it, you know, stop thinking so fucking small, and even women too that kind of feel like it's bullshit when women

march in the streets. Everyone has, in my opinion, when they speak on feminism, a different idea of what it means to them, or a situation. You just talked about one with music, right like when you were growing up. I don't know what Mandy does. I know when I think of mine, it's definitely being over sexualized and hyper sexualized. Like sometimes I hate that ship. I hate when people tell us we're doing well because we're cute. No, nigga,

people can't see us right now. I mean, sure there's YouTube, but like our podcast is because our content is good. It's not because we're cute. You know what put it in the hours? Yeah, you know it's weird because I guess, yeah, like this, every time we talk about feminism, I get kind of quiet because I just I still don't really understand it. I'm here for women's rights, I'm here for sexual liberation and the women empowerment, but to me, it's

completely different, Like I don't think about niggas at all. Like, to me, women empowerment is and it's why I say I have the best friends ever. Like women empowerment to me is me and my friends being on the phone for hours about how we're gonna grow our businesses or just uplifting each other, constantly being around other women like so to me, like me having so many female friends right now, like and I have so many, that to

me as feminism. That to me is me being able to be what a bitch who may look badder than me and just be like do that ship and just constantly uplifting every woman that I'm around. Um, that to me as feminism, like just me being it's totally always around women. And that's like it's it's weird because I was even just telling my friends, I don't know if I want a boyfriend right now because I just am not really around a lot of tosastone like outside of the nig I fuck, like, I don't even have as

many male friends as I had at one time. It's literally nothing but itches not be like bitch, I'm sick of y'all like not, but I'm just constantly around women. I want to see the women around me grow and anytime I meet a woman who's in this space, I'm like, how can we work together? And I've just built so

many friendships because it's literally just that's feminism. I think it's great that you mentioned that phone call because a lot of men assume that female bonding has to do over the distaste for men and not even close like when I get on from like God gonna send me this book, you know what I mean, Like when I think it's important to like kind of what you just said, Like you don't you don't have like your idea of feminism or maybe you don't even have a like an

umbrella term for you know, like you're living, you're walking, you're breathing it. And I think that's really important to know, like you these small gestures like it doesn't have to be you don't have to march in the street, you know, like you don't right get locked up, marg right, I protests and I aint getting locked up. I'll want to be whole in the time, arms don't hurt, I'll work out like that. But like supporting women and why feminism, Yes,

that's but like to be confused about it. I think it's also just because you're not sure because we look at everyone's different idea and we're like, oh am I being a feminist, Like what am I doing actively? And

blah blah blah. I could be personal, but I think it's just making the conscious um decision to see women right like and and and and and acknowledge that there are struggles that they have to i e. The cat calling thing, you know, sticking up for women when you see them out, taking care of the women in your life. And as far as taking care of I mean emotionally, you know, making sure that you're checking in. And I'm speaking to men right now because I think girls kind

of just innately do it with each other. But like, yes, call your sisters, call your whole girls, see if they're good. You know, I mean, stop pushing to the side feminism because you think it's one way, just like you might have been mentioned walking in the street. Just because you won't do that doesn't mean that you're not a feminist. It doesn't mean that you can't sit here and ride for women too, like we all have to find I think our way of feminism, and I mean ship most

of the feminism I do. I believe it's on the show sticking up for women, right, and it's like, Okay, how else can I do it? Like expressing yourself being able to talk about sex freely and in a fun way, Like I mean, it's the the episode with the two guys are here with thee looking. That would be fun and and it should be like that, right, And I really appreciate those guys who being super open and ship like that. But um, I also want to talk like

briefly just about intersectional feminism. Um to the white listeners. We have all twenty six of you, I don't know, um, but I do appreciate white people listening to this show. I feel like you're already on the white path, on the white path, right, the white listens already on the

white path, the right, not the wit is right. I feel like you're on the right path to like trying and like moving forward with it, but just remembers to include other women, women, women's women, black women, Latino women, all of us, not just yourselves. Um. I'm always super impressed when I go to a protest and I'll see like a white girl that like has a sign about black women or something else, and it's just like she just wants to get rid like a lot of white

people feel that guilt. And listen, if you do feel that guilt, right just like I'm talking about right now, find a way to help another kind of woman other than yourself in any way that you can, and take yourself out of it. Yes, don't make it, just help. Just don't don't talk about it. Don't you know, I

don't make it about you, Just to do it. I actually stopped Instagram, taking Instagram stories and posting protests because I felt that it looked to try hard and not genuine, because that's the vibe sometimes I get from going to protest when I see white girls out there. I'm sorry to say it, but I have felt that way, like it just kind of feels like it's like a picturesque

thing and there's no real meaning behind it. I think maybe in this era of social media, I think that's even why I, um, aside from not wanting to get locked up and just be in the mix, but to me, the protest now has has become very um click like not click baby, but like um cloud chasing, almost like where, oh my god, this is the thing and I'm fighting for it, calls let me go walk and honestly, they're

out there just taking pictures with their signs. It's all becoming like things just to go viral or to be

posted on when you're walking sometimes. I don't know if like any of your us see this over walks whatever, but like I'll be walking talking to someone will just be like collecting our thoughts and like literally you have to take a step because someone's posting, are taking a picture on their phone, and it's like engage in this ship, bro, like understand what we're doing, Understand why we're out here, Like this is my purpose, Like I'm I'm doing this

for you and other people, but like you do. And that's the weird thing because if we do post it, other people do want to become a part of something. But for me right now, it's just been a weird place to like post that ship. I don't know, you know, it's hard. It feels like you need fucking accolades just to fucking say, hey, I'm out here for the girls.

You spent more time making that sign that you really than you really have, like being out here for bitches am I being And I say bitches with all respects, um But anyway, I also thought it would be good to like kind of end this before we get into our home mail by talking about a guy in our life that we are a man, maybe anyone we know personally each that has UM we feel as feminist or

been in support of us daddies best feminist thing. Well, like even with a show like UM and I dam, I don't want call him because they listen to the show. So my friends, UM, like even they like. There's one who came to a few of the shows. He came to two of the shows during this leg, but he also was like, listen, I just want to support you.

So he paid for my hotel rooms in Houston. UM. And then the other one that I mentioned when I started this show, he was super into UM, just supporting and I said, I wanted to get into the editing. He bought my MacBook Pro just because I was like, and Chris came over and I was like, I don't know how to do this, can you help teach me?

But he's just been supportive all the way. He sent me this other thing, like anytime he finds anything about podcasting and stuff like that, UM, he sends it and literally it's so odd because they've all seen me grow from like literally needing them to now just them wanting to just show support. They're like, I know you don't need anything anymore. So them investing themselves into me and being here for what we do, like them even being

okay with sharing our sexual escapades. And they'll literally send me snaps and stuff like them of them listening to my show in the car and I'm like, oh my god, you're listening up. You had like a romantic relationship and your business, but but supporting it in this way where we're being completely open about suddend Dick and it ain't there because they know when it's when I'm talking about them and when I'm not. So just having like people

who support what we do. We feel that we are um a podcast where we empower other women, we talk about sexual liberation, and we're doing it in kind of a taboo fashion. And so to have men who I have been intimate with not shamey and not look down on me, but literally be like you're a superstar, Like what you're doing is making a difference and I'm so proud of you. That to me is means more than

anything for men to support what we're doing. What what are you, I think, right, Um, I mean my husband Simon is just like I been a huge supporter of what I do and taught me a lot of about you know. Now, for those of you who haven't looked up yet, Mars has a bunch of pictures with her gorgeous kid hanging from her titty all over the world.

You've taken these pictures, and I just, yeah, I want you to talk about that a little bit, like being and just your body and yeah, and just like kind of like very similar to what you're saying, Like like being with somebody where I could just be myself. That's so important. I could. I could be naked, I could wear what I want without feeling shamed, I could whatever, you know, I could be myself and I and I never thought I would get married. I never thought that

this is how my like my trajectory would be. And and it could only have worked with somebody who allowed me to like move the way I move, be free. And it takes a very secure man be with a woman who is so um invested in her sexuality and like open about it, like just men don't know what to do with that because we always attached that people don't know what to do with that, you're a whole,

you're slut like people. You're right, I'm sorry, but um, and I think maybe the pressure from men and specifically though, has hindered women from doing that. UM. So I'm gonna try to say maybe a friend and a lover. So two friends come to mind. A dude name one I know from Orlando and I know I don't text you back all the time, and I'm really sorry, but I'm really grateful for the text messages that you sent me

about how proud you army um. And another friend a j um he was saying to me once a friend of mine when we were in l A and we were eating, he was like, Yo, everybody used to like talk to me, like when I was hanging out with you, they'd be like, yo, that girl is crazy, she's a whole, she's this and that. And he was like, now nigga's write me when I'm with you and they're like, how

do you know? Easy? And it was like crazy to hear that, Like no, when someone over taging years and they say that ship and he's never told me that people said that to him when he was my friend. But it's just funny how the tables turned, so to know that there's a man in my life that like brushed that ship by platonic friendship and like still, I was like, no, that's my bit, you know um. And then I'll give a shout outs to someone I'm fucking I guess Beard bab it's a guy I've been dating

for a few months, and like, so fucking dope. This nigga is like such a he made a joke once said he was like a fan, and like I really feel that, like knowing that he would listen to our show or like yeah, I just got done and coming to one of my shows, and like anytime we meet someone just piping me up, it's so fucking dope, like almost more than I'm doing it, you know what I mean, Like I love that just being excited about me and Mandy just like calling me to tell me how great

things are, how he loves these clips, Like even when I'm talking about other niggas. You gotta be a really secure motherfucker to do that and then tell a friend in their face like yo, she'd be telling this story about this nigga. But I'm with him and it's all refreshing. Oh my god, like being able to be open with somebody, honest with somebody like what you're self. It's so refreshing.

And women have always associated to like possessiveness with men caring about you, men acting a little crazy with them caring about you, and men wanting you to themselves are not showing anybody anything as like them caring. Because that had someone tell me like he'd let you do that he only fun and it's like, yeah, you know, stop thinking that. Men let the women that you're with open themselves up a little more and be comfortable enough around you so love you more. I really think that it

is important. So before we get out of here, I think there is a good question I kind of want for you, because you know, you just told us you had a next and got married. I just got dumped. I'm ready to move on quick. However, even when lots of guys willing to hook up, I'm terrified and I always back out. Should I wait until the breakup is less fresh? Or should I just push myself out there? Thanks for being my best friends through this hard time?

How do you guys? A very simple question, but I like that do you hear of for in the breakup? Do you start going out, What do you guys think about that? What is the usual? What makes you feel good? But not I want to like makes you feel good, but hopefully like in the healthiest way that you can because breakups can be hard. Um but look, I was in a not a good place when I broke up with with my eggs and that sh it just can't like. It was just like came blind, blind sided, spotted whatever.

So I'm big with with energy, and so I feel like one of the worst things you can do when you have all of these emotions and you're sad and you're upset that it didn't work out, and you're doing all this, one of the worst things you can do is try to hide those emotions by being around other people, because what you actually do is you exert that that energy to the other person. You're masking your all of but just being around other people. And so I don't

like that. I have also been around people who either had just gotten out of a breakup things like that, and little do you know, even though you're in the company of someone else, you bring up a lot of the things that happened because you feel like you want to vent, you want to get over and you project a lot, and like I said, with just the energy

of being around somebody. I think, and it's what I've said in a past episode, in order to find happiness in other people, you first have to find happiness within yourself. So if you can't genuinely be happy in your own space or in your own home or in the room by yourself or at work, if you're genuinely not happy with where you are, you can't at all expect to

find happiness from someone else. I think. So it's just gonna say, sit with your pain times, like you need that pain to like an order to heal its fear to someone else, have you. I mean, I'm sure we've all like dated someone that like was kind of situation

ships in real life. But I mean I've been with someone that like had some past, Like I broke up and they were like all the way broken up, and I felt like it was baggage into what I had with them that do be having, like, but they're not like the breaks like fucking let go of that ship, bro, Like, don't bring that to me, Like, give me the honor

of being with someone that's ready for this ship. That's fine, find other things that make you have happy like you could you could find like you could like really turn your pain into like what motivates you to like be the next big things. Right, that's the best thing to say about that find other things to make you happy because you don't have to find happiness in other people other relationships, like find it in And that's why I

haven't been dating. I feel like, um for a little bit. Well, not only have I been really really busy, but like for such alongside, especially with the online dating, just a lot of dates that I went on was just bad. And I was like, not only am I wasting time? I just want to spend time around people that make me happy. Um, and I know I'm happy, So why am I wasting time with niggas that is just wet? So I actually I've been cussing out all my friends.

I'm like, I blame them from what I'm single right now. I like, bitch, we just went on tour. I was around friends the entire tour. I'm playing trips. I went to the fucking dream of like every weekend I've I've done. I'm making plans with my friends and I'm like, y'all the reasons I'm single because I'm so happy, but I'm even happier around y'all. Then now I have no time to date. I don't want to be around niggas unless

I'm getting foss. Honestly, when you end up finding someone like I'm waiting, all my friends still like trying to have me connect. When you when you grow your circle and you're like your your life around different ship and you schedule that ship and you're like growing your own happiness from within that ship works. Bro. I always say, like a great just one thing. I was just thinking about the best bodies come from breakups. Like whenever I

get broken up with it's like immediate thing. I'm like hair, something changes or something, and then I'm in the gym like crazy, you did get real skinny have to love a boy, but she was sad. That's when you went. Was really in the gym like all the time. Yeah, because he was going through a break up and I was like, yo, break up at the same time. That's right,

and like you know, it's just it just happened. But the art look at everything that comes out of pain, like all the beauty that comes gave us ship No. The Confessions album Lemonade Hello, Bellhooks talks about Lemonade. You might want to look that up after this, I will. She goes in on Beyonce. Does she crazy? What kind of crazy? Don't come? So, I mean Lemonade I fucking loved because I was just saying to my mom in the car we were talking about I played Old Town

Road from my mom and she loved it. She's like, damn react to that song. It was like I was telling her she was. My mom was like, doesn't Beyonce have a country song? And I was like, yo, daddy, lessons in Lemonade. I'm like, this bitch came out with an album, a visual album, a country song, all because I don't know, tell you heartbreak really fucking bring some ship, bro. Even Beyonce can get cheated on. So well, I have

no faith in anybody like calibery. This is why I make the chan ever would be ethnically nominogamous and the like, just enjoy other people because I cannot be Beyonce. Well, you said it in one of the last episodes, like Lauren London said one of the best things like, you don't possess people, you experience them, And so I think that that's like one of the best things that I'd be experienced in. Yeah, we we have to start to putting so much ownership people like is in including men

with women. So again, even with what you said, just allowing women to be women. And if you want to get a clear idea of feminism, it's literally not feeling like we shouldn't do anything. It's allowing us to be who we are, to experience ourselves, to learn the same the aim, you know, privilege that men have. That's what feminism is. It's literally you're not saying a woman shouldn't, couldn't, you know, do anything, but just allowing us to kind of just be our own human being. And that's actually

a really good thing what she said. So when you were saying gender roles right, you're saying you agree with them. You agree with I want to do that? Right, you do. And you made that choice, not because the dude is saying you should. So like, that is also a choice to to be in that role. But if a woman doesn't want it, don't sit here and tell me I'm less of a woman because I don't do laundry and

I don't cook for niggas. I'm saying that's me but there are a lot of women like that and if if that's her choice, and there's a man for her too, because not every nigga need that. Well, we didn't have the whole episode, y'all came for us um b K chat when she was like, I got my pussy, that's all he needs. And we at that point in the show, we couldn't understand, like, bitch, all you're offering to nigga is your pussy. Well here's the thing though, what yeah

a statement that she made. I don't even think we have to put cooking, cleaning, ship house shit out of it. Like if you're saying a dude should be just happy with your pussy, I think it dismissive to a person because first off, like I'm gonna be real with you people, since I've had scissors, who is my shorty? Like on my Graham, Like more frequent women are throwing way more

pussy at me. And it even give me think like they'd be like yo, I bet you want to say it and they'll send me pictures on like bitch, you think, oh they don't want to suck me? Like what the fund is wrong with you? Girl? Try to kiss me in our live show in l A, like on the fucking mouth, like and to me, I really hate when people put so much fucking like don't get me wrong, like value your body and know you're the ship, but like don't really sit here and think you're pussy? Is

that gold? And like that's all? But not only that they that's what I got from that. I but even the feminism like ways like we gotta make the stallion shout out to me yea. But there's been a video going around where she was like just performing and a girl slapped her ass and Megan turned around like but even as women of you know, sexual liberation and women empowerment,

you need to allow just because you're wish. I'm so glad we're talking about this, Yes, because I didn't think that women have violated as they've been violating us all tour. I will say there's been quite quite a few women have asked, I love that, Can I grab your ass? Can I touch your tips? They've been wanting to touch me and wheezy and a lot of them do ask, but there have been times where and we get to

choose that they can or not, and it defends their mood. Um, but a lot of women still have otherwise just grabbed us without asking. It's just like a little weird. You know. The men that have came, I like, I have to be like, I can't believe I'm even saying this. Any man that has come to the show has been so kind during me and greet like yo, many like can I can I take a cool and like totally like accepting if she says no? But like the girls been ready. Look,

if you ever get pregnant, it's crazy. That's a whole another converse, like the touching, like oh you're sushing your stomach and ship like just walk like just walking up no, like people you don't know excuge. So I had to like build this armor around me when I was pregnant with my daughter because like people think that you don't want that energy touching your goddamn child. Yeah, that's crazy. That's crazy. It's so crazy. I want to bring up

one thing that I actually hadn't here in it. Youveen saying that all I want to bring up one more thing to act more one man constantly like in my mind that I feel like this is true. But one of the myths that I had in there, I skipped over because the time was feminist. Can't listen to Wrap. I want to just say, you damn we can nothing. You know, Wrap is so fucking important, and this is why we all have to make sure women too, that we're not pitting rappers at each other, right, Like it's

so important to have Chase the nigga. I don't even Chase Liqa, Like sorry, it's so fu dope to talk about that ship so long, Like let's talking talk about our own bodies with women. I love that ship and like worshiping our bodies and ourselves band doing it either it's women doing it too. Women are pinning each other against other women women. Imagine how dope a Cardi and Nikki like its other. I mean, but Nikki is mad and secure so she won't do it. But like you

become a fit them together. But they did show us a little bit of Nikki this basic. But I do kind of feel bad when they compare looks and ship like that with these women because I've never seen them do that with niggas. And it's over over sexualizing women just like they wanted to do with you, and it sucks. It's like, God, damn, let the girl wrap. Like talking about make the stallion's body like, which is our body is?

I mean, all right, we didn't talk about how big Yo Gotti forehead is, and then we might be ugly wrap and they'd be like, he's not even cute. Go way back here, like we gotta start calling them niggas out. Let's put them against let's do it out. Hey tweeted this ship with She said, to be a woman who loves hip hop at times is to be in love with your abuser. Ever doing so, then to the to love a rapper is to be a love to be in love with hip hop, and they love your abusers sometimes,

That's what she wrote. To be a woman that loves hip hop and I don't. There's a really good hip hop feminist book that you might like. It's called um When the Hens Come Home to Roost or something, When the Hens come home through something like that. I'll check

it out. Yeah, but yeah, I mean that's why I put problematic feminists because I've had so many people in my messages when I like post nasty as songs like wow, but like it's talking about bitches at home, that's fine choice to pop my pussy say that, ma'am so fucking I'm problematic is fun because y'all like to be called a slat when I'm getting fucked. That that's the one word I can't do. Bitch, but I don't want to. But didn't she But didn't she dit like jay Z

and Beyonce's music video. Yeah, but I'm assuming, like she said, she said, sometimes like po women in hip hop, sometimes I'm assuming, like the hip hop that's like against women. Well, I love it, no, especially city girls. Chicken heads come home, chicken heads come home to us. You know what's crazy? I ain't know. Oh no, I was thinking so back in the day, like we used to do, like um, we had basketball teams. This was like elementary school, and we could come up with our own names, and we

named ourselves the Project Chicks. But I didn't know what that meant back then. But that's when the song about getting me a project ship, and I was like, I didn't know it's a bad thing until people like you want to be called what give me a raight? No? Okay, well that's what I wanted to be called with Project Chicks back in the day. But I also wanted my dream car with and then Paula with chameleon paint job in rams. So don't judge me. Okay, Florida ship. Sorry

are you from Florida? Yeah, so I know what a project. Well that's up here basically as we call it, the hood. Yeah, there were no jack, There was no jecks like that, Like he got building saw. Like they can still live in houses in the hood, like nice house that have them hood house house in Pine Hills. Boy, imagine in Brooklyn. Yeah no, like so you know you still have a yard in the hood. So it's just like you know Sam in California. Yeah, residential suburbs, baby boy, then they

got a backyard. She was she had our garden. So working on listeners find you if they're interested in following you in your your photos and everything you do Instagram Marzi Jane m a r z y Jane Marzi Jane dot com. Projects like yeah, I wrote a baby book. Oh, um what else? Yeah, I'm doing a lot of stuff with the magazine. Um. The last issue we did I interviewed Salon was cute. Um. Yeah, I'm working on a documentary. Um. Well,

we'll keep you guys updated. Um. The magazine also the books in which we referenced staring this episode, we'll go ahead and put in the description, UM, but we want to thank you for coming in and as you guys know, we want to give a huge shout out to all of our patrons. Because of you, we were able to

do the tour um. And so if you guys are not yet or if you guys are already caught up on all of our episodes and you can't get enough of Wheezy and I and all of our great guests that we have on the show, please become a patron at patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions. That's how you're gonna find it, because we do have an eighteen plus setting, so we don't pop up in the search um. But for just five dollars a month, you guys get three bonus episodes at the top tier fifteen dollars. We give

you guys an opportunity to have merch. We are looking to possibly start store as well, being the look for that to come, but you still will only be able to get T shirts for now. If you are a patron, so gonna patron shirts the ones that you've seen. We will not be selling those shirts. There's are never gonna be those are only going to be for people that

are patrons of the show, so see him, you know. Yeah, we want to thank you all so much, and as always, we're gonna leave you guys with a clip from one of our bonus episodes. Um, but we want to thank Mars for coming into and this has been yet another episode of horrible Decisions. By that's it for today's show. You're about to enjoy one of our Patreon clips. But we did want to once again give a big thanks to our sponsors True and Company, that best selling True

Body collection and over seventy wire free options. You'll want them all. It's an amazing bra six years of collecting data from seven million women to make a gain changer True and code dot Com slash horrible off on your first bra with them. You can lounge in it, work out in it where it is a fucking top like I did this weekend. Whatever, Just send me the dm me the picture of your tippies in it. I would appreciate that. Use the code horrible off, but I do

want the tip picks and return. Thanks. It's bonus beach. Yeah, it's on. We are starting hiding. We just did an episode with some girls that have a podcast about tripping on ship and I'm highs but you know me. Um, well, hey guys, it's another bonus episode. Before we start, I want to shout out to all of you who have supported our brand. Um, y'all, y'all are real ones. Y'all really are. Um. Oh. Also, UM, shout out to Dread. I have the picture we're gonna sign Dread. Yes, um,

thank you for getting us somehow. We finally got our mail, which we have a very hard time get and we can start getting ships and because it was almost impossible, but Dread, shout out to you. Um, we're gonna be sending your signed photo back. Thank you for being a long time supporter of us. UM. As always, So before we start, everybody else like what about me? I know yeah, But before we start, I guess we're gonna start up with a quick catch up because the last few um,

we did have a couple of solo bonus episodes. So now Weezie and I are back in the motherfucker's studio and I guess you have what you want to catch up real quick with them all. I went to Miami with Beard day God. We had a long as vacation we got along great. Um, I feel like I should tell all this On the regular episode saw Jesus and Marrio, that was lit, got some new dick, been on some dates. I'm going on a roll, dog, You've got a lot

going on. I've just been like really trying to um take in the open relationship energy, because when I'm falling for someone, it's very hard for me to stay or or stay on that path of like, oh, let let's explore because I'm so in love in that moment. Right. But now that the dust is settled and i just know like we're there, like I'm in a really comfortable lot. It'll be like almost knowing him a year coming up

soon and dating her for a while. Like now I just know where we are, and now I'm like, Okay, now i can open myself up to new experiences because I'm now not weird about saying them. Bringing another negative hedonism was where I really thought there'd be an issue, and we all had such a great talk about it, Like both of them were just super chill and they're like, why would you be nervous about good? Because you were freaking out like a motherfucker. Mainly because once he couldn't go.

I felt like it was really fucked up for a trip we've all been planning for six months to bring another niggad but like they made a little funny comment about it, and then it was like, look like, we get how you feel about us. How how can you, I don't know, how can we sit here and preach other We're gonna be open and care about each other and love each other and fun other people, and then shoot on you for bringing someone else. You might be able to get a little mild jealousy, but it's sucked

up to do it that way. So that makes sense. I'm glad we got there. Um, I mean that makes I guess that's a lot. So y'all hear. I guess more about Miami all of that. Yeah, y'all go here. I guess on a regular episode. I wanted to bring up, um two things. UM, I guess. The first one is how I feel cursed right now. UM. I have not had New Dick all year, but I I've had Dick other than seven that I've but like Dick from the past,

I haven't had New Dick since New Year's Eve. Um. Other than that, I have just really been fun for the last four months. He's the only dick I've taken into my vagina and my mouth and actually no, not my mouth. I did give head in l A, but that was it. We didn't suck, uh yeah, because that's long one of my little Mary booze and he didn't

really He's the condom just was affecting his performance. So you would have fucked, yeah, but it just he just didn't really want to wear economy, wasn't in the mood and just wouldn't stay hard and was he asking you not to? Um? We just didn't even have that conversation. He was just like, it's the condom and that's and I was, It's okay, it's fine. Um. But so outside of that, I've literally only been able to fuck. Why have you? Have you only been able to you know?

I feel like my mind is rejecting other people. I think I'm maybe over vetting um as far as I want to be sure that we would be compatible if I have sex with someone else, because I'm having such amazing sex with him, and also I know that I don't want a whole bunch of casual sex partners. I am looking for maybe a partner, So it's like, if you're not looking to be my boyfriend or you're not kinky as I want you to be, I genuinely don't

see the purpose and fucking you. But do you think that like you could be blocking your best things by not letting it get there first, Like I don't, I know, Like I don't. To me, I genuinely am like I either want to be super kinky and nasty with you and have that vice explored with you because I don't

get I don't get to peg or finger. No, but you said you're going to be my boyfriend, right, so like, But to me, our conversation doesn't need to be all about sex if you really want a relationship with me. So to me, I meeting anyone that I'm not meeting anyone that I even really want to fuck in real life. So speaking of