Ep116: May I Rub It For You Ma'am? feat Passport Cutty

You may know her from hosting alongside UH fan favorite Tahoe. Um, she was on the So Shameless podcast. But now she is about to go back on tour for her reloaded book, The M and Man Is for Money. And that name may found sound familiar because she's been on our show before. So if you guys haven't, check out our episode with her, The M and Man Is for Money, where she talks about her book. We're gonna talk a little bit about your book, but we're gonna focus on the new ship

in your life because you are a new woman. You are, Um, what's this? What's your new name with this? Yeah, you gotta have a name with this war at least front. I didn't know it's a closure drag us. I don't know got the I mean, got the baby hairs. I don't like the little baby hills. I mean it looks at first I thought it was and then you got the closure on top. Okay, so down, but that's safety. When it's so down, that's safe. I have to explained

that about this twenty seven people. They're like, well, is it a wig? And I'm like, no, bitch, there was twenty seven pieces of the track and they're all glued onto the cab and then it's so down and I don't have to explain it to black Yes, man, I've never heard of anybody from up north. To them, it's a down south thing. We call it Jamaicans what they calls it's a quick oh yeah in the blood. Let me get back to my roots. So something. Um, of course we've in. I are now off tour, thank god,

but um, we have just a lot of travels coming up. Um, and I wanted you to talk about, of course, the country you were recently and so I guess coming up so that this the summertime. A lot of you guys hit us up saying y'all wanted to visit Thailand. So I wanted to ask both of you your travel plans coming up for the summer, and then we'll double back on where you just came from. Well, I'm going to Ruba tomorrow, damn the Wealth, and then Turks and goes

next week. Do you like people love it? I mean I've been before Turks and people like stand for it. I've never been. It was always it's funny, this is very ironic. But I always like that's alwayspensive that myself. But you haven't. No, no, no, I no, I have to because it's my friend's birthday. But I always disregarded it because I was like, oh, go, I gotta take me there, And now it's my friend's birthday, I'm like

a cutty. Well, actually it's actually cheaper than because no, no, no no, no, the we're renting a house, but her boyfriend's paying for the house for Yeah, technically it is. I was gonna say the funny thing about tricks and kikos. When I went, I was with some friends and like they were talking about how secluded the island is, so secluded and so expensive that they get their toilet paper from Miami. They get all of their goods from Miami and the hospital there only has fifteen BEZ and he

was like, oh, but we're upgrading to thirty five. Holy sh it. I did go five years ago. But um, super blue water. Any cruise boats that go you have to take like a boat from the cruise so that you don't funk up their ship, which I think is superb. Well, yeah, I like that. I like that somewhere to go for my birthday. At that I took the whole two weeks off for my birthday, Like I got like a two week block out where we going. I don't know, Listen, I like to go to Europe in a summer though, Okay,

see I haven't. I just did Europe, and so I'm actually planning a trip now with a friend, um the Bahamas, but just because I want to do Exuma. I haven't done Exuma Island and my homeboy shot love them pigs. But I'm also gonna do the Iguana Island and you could swim with the sharks. No, yeah, that's so I wanted to get bitch, I'm paying for that tour. So so girl found one for the low I'll let you know, um,

and it's an open bar. The whole time. So I'm gonna be ship faced with the pigs, like I'm bar like one thing, what is like one bottle the fucking run punch bitch, it's open bar day. White people was hired about them pigs getting drunk on fire faster, like this is so fucked up. Fuck the niggas on the island they sucked over, but those pigs in the I got it so crazy. Like my sister got on me too. When I was in Thailand and took a picture with the tigers like um on Instagram. They're like, oh, in

two thousand nineteen, we still write elephants. Yeah, it's funny you're bringing it up. So a friend of the show, Sharonas, is going to Thailand for work and I was like, make sure if you do the elephants, you just gotta make sure they're not in trapp They're like, you know, it's a sanctuary. Yeah, I just sanctuary. Yeah, you have to. I don't know what is this? What is the sake? She says, she don't care, So whatever I did. So a lot of people don't really know right in the

moment when they do them. But so the tigers I never did because I knew they were dropped up, but elephants sanctuary basically means they don't get beat to be written on, and there's their elephant. There's a breaking of the spirit with elephants, right, So they'll engage them for like weeks at a time and beat them and basically forced them to be submissive so that you can jump

on their backs and ride them. So I just pet well, And there is something recently that I actually want to know that elephant backs are actually not made to be written on, which is crazy for how big they are. But you know, you have horses, you have camels, those animals were made to support people. But even though elephants are so strong, they actually have week backs. That's something

I actually just read. So y'all don't go hopping under my pictures where I was on top of the elephant because I didn't have that elephant for like four seconds because it's so high it was. So I went to a sanctuary where basically, which what was cool about it. She's like, Okay, if the elephant doesn't funk with you, you just can't get on, like right, She's like, you have to kind of sense the energy, so we're feeding

in bananas. Well, I mean it bro it was. It was really far, but you felt better about it, like they were playing with us there in the water. You bathe with him. But yeah, she was like if they don't like you, then like did drive all this way? It is what it is. You don't get on top of them because we don't do that right where in some places they just turned them around every thirty minutes.

So it was really interesting minutes. And I did it for like four I was like I don't like this, take me back and they were like what because you know they take you to the middle of the um the forest and then trying to sell you something. Yeah, I'm like, here's the money. Turn around. We got like four minutes and I was like, oh, you want me to give you money, just turn this to the round way to like it was higher than that thought, like we were on top of we were on top of

the house. Yeah, almost like slipping off, like and they put us in a yeah, they put us on a bench um and then for my elephant was metatl because they was feeding him of course to keep them walking. And then Nigga like spit up goddamn food and then came back toide hand shut his back, that perfect kind of go get us off. It was green and ship like this is disgusting. So I don't know if I ever talked about on this show, but like I had this fucking wild spiritual moment with this elephant. This bit

everything is spiritual. Heart tell you what happened, dude. So first off, my waist slid off because the elephant was like throwing me up, So you basically slide on their trunks, right if you ever get debates with the elephants and they flip you and they have so much fun doing it. So anyway, I was getting out of breath and my hair came off, and I was like, I'm done, I'm done.

So I started swimming to the shore and the elephant then starts to go really fast, like almost running out of the water, and they were scared he was gonna stomp on me because I basically jumped off the elephant to go in the water. So he then comes right over me, on top of me, right, and I didn't even realize. So the elephant knew I was in distress and was like protecting me, like almost like how you connect with a dog and a dog knows that basically, eh one my nigga, and he was like, they handed

me my wig. He was checking the nigga like you he good, and I'm like, we're good boo and got back on. He took his trunk between my leg and lifted me up. It was crazy, dog. But it's just crazy how in tune with elephants like that we can be like, they're so smart, they're so majestic. Every black household got an elephant in it, like the trunk up and out of face to the north RP to my auntie. But when she died, my mom was like, you want the elephants. I'm like, she had fifteen. And that's actually

a thing um in the Jamaican culture. Like my grandma has so many glass elephants all over the house. I think they're actually supposed to be for good and good luck. Yeah, but they gotta be facing the north and yeah, that's that's my Can we just be making up this stuff? You know? I think so? I don't think we do all of it about that? Hold up? What mehing to explain that trends, that's what it's like economics, you know what.

Exactly as much as she doesn't believe in astrology. She could never cause which I do that don't believe that's what everybody say. I'm a motherfucking liber And just know if y'all say, I didn't need y'all to know, it's the best. Okay, that's what the fund that mean. So we're gonna go ahead and hop into real quick, y'all. Um. While we're talking about travels, this whole episode actually stemmed

from Cutty's recent journey to India. UM, So I can't wait to hear about India and some other things that happened while over there. Um. But we're gonna go ahead and hop into our vanilla ship for this episode. UM. And it actually has to do with Alabama, and no, it's not about the abortion law. It's about one of

their other trash ass law. So if you guys are in Alabama, get y'all shipped together, go and write to anyone in policy that you can, and also make sure you vote when it comes time to vote, because y'all need to make some change. So this is about Alabama's current sex ed law that actually harms l g B t Q youth. Um. Tony Kristen Walker UM has seen how Alabama's current sex ed law has harmed lgbt Q

as the prevention. As the prevention director for AIDS Alabama, Kristen Walker has been allowed by four Birmingham City schools to teach sex education courses. He's advised fourth graders to alert an adult when someone inappropriately touches their private areas,

and middle schoolers the different forms of HIV prevention. But when it comes to the lgbt Q community, the state's decades old sex ad law requires instructors to state that homosexuality is not a lifestyle acceptable to the general public and that homosexual conduct is a criminal offense under the state's UM laws. As a gay man himself, Christin Walker refuses to say those words. UM. If an lgbt Q student asks him a question about sexual health, he just

redirects the conversation because it is harmon harmful. I'm sorry, UM. To include lgbt Q youth and sex education conversations is not only necessary, Walker said, but it's suicide prevention. Lgbt Q youth are four times more likely to attempt suicide than their peers. Why I know ship And according to a two thousand seventeen climate survey conducted by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network. Six point seven percent of lgbt Q students in Alabama received a sex ad course

mentioning their sexuality or gender identity. I want to give a shout out to Randall wood Finn, who's the mayor of Birmingham, Alabama. He's one of the only black mayors they've ever had in the youngest mayor and like hundred years. I met him while we were doing the Do Say Friday podcast Me and then and had you know, I'm

talking about the Oh that's where you were there. I'm talking about Remember the dude though, remember so like this dude, Yeah, Like it's really trying to make change there and ship like that, but it's so hard. Like, you know, we talked about getting people of our own office and ship like that, but just one person ain't enough. Like you really need to make sure that we're doing all that we can in our own communities. Seriously, Like we can't

keep tweeting and being enraged. Like if you're there in a city close by, in a state close by, like do all that you can to alert your legislators and let them know, Like this is fucking wild. LGBTQ people that are having a higher suier side rate are generally because they're growing up in a super religious households, be being shunn from their homes and see unable to live

as they are because of ship like this. Yes, so I think it's also very important now and we've talked about it, um, from Our Lives show in d C to even talking on here about the importance of not only sex head as it pertains to sex with others, but also just masturbation. UM, the conversation of when you should have that conversation with your child, and also not shaming um what type of sexual orientation they decide to go, and really letting them find themselves. I think all of

us know that. UM. We can't help who we love. We can't help who we're attracted to. UM. I've tried to stop liking these light skinned funk nis for a

long time, Okay, I've tried. UM, So just when it comes like it does, start in the youth, and of course just with social media and everything now, UM, bullying and suicide rates are going up, and so UM again, if you guys have any say, or you guys live in the Alabama area and want to try to make some change, I think this is definitely, um, something that y'all should look into to you know, helping ship change, because that's what we gotta do outside of them abortion laws.

But you know we're gonna talk about that another goddamn tact um. So for this one, I'm really excited, guys. The kink of the week for this goddamn episode UM is stepped by a goddamn mother vegon cutty Um. Today's kink of the week is erotic massage. He so, erotic massage is the use of massage techniques by a person on another person's orogen rat ridiculous orogenis zones who achieve or enhance their sexual excitation or arousal to achieve orgasm.

Massages have been used for medical purposes for a very long time, and they're used for erotic purposes. Also has a long history. In the case of women, the two focal areas are the breasts and the vagina. Wall of course, in the male case is the dick. Um. So there's things called the pelvic massage, which we've talked about, um, And actually erotic massage has actually led to as well, UM,

the development of vibrators. Yeah, did you know that vibrators were used, like they were saying, I mean initially like for women, like the orgasm was relieving pains and different stuff like that, which is why they brought them right because they were doing like badginal massages anyway, And that's actually where the laby A massage came from, which I think I talked about Jeeves doing it on me and

I've done on scissors. But like it's so dope because it's all this blood flow that we've never felt before. If you've never heard of the laby A massage, it's one of the best erotic massages to give. So there's no I mean, you can put your fingers inside the pussy if you want to, but you basically use your hands and the woman's outer laby a too massage for clip. So when we're simulated by the clip, generally it's from the front and we don't really get to feel the sides.

So when you take the two sides of her outer lips and rub them up and down to where they're rubbing the clip on its own, it's like a whole another sensation and it's like fucking crazy. So look up laby A massage on and hub or online and figure out how you can give your partner one. I know we talked about it before and a lot of you guys wrote me and said it went well. But just in case there's new listeners, laby a massage is the jam. And and also what's crazy is that the genital massage

UM was actually introduced in Western medical tradition. So this was something UM in which at one point you had to go to a doctor um to achieve and this helped UM. Actually it was a technique of general massage that helped for the disease called womb disease UM to bring the woman into hysterical paroxysm. The linga massage for men. A lot of people, like modern society has seen it um on Sex in the City, the episode Miranda Gets

came on. They go to this woman's apartment. She teaches women how to give them her man a hand job by doing the linga massage. If you watch it, I've done it once. It kind of takes a long time, but it was like he could have probably filled up a cup. So I guess what linga linga l angie hand It's it's a hand shop, but you're using You're like you're using both hands, you can use them flat.

It's like different focuses on. It's crazy. But yeah, every single time I try to do anything except something that he'd be like, no, stop playing on my staying with me. So let me ask you has I mean and we'll talk about, of course getting into the happy ending type massages, but have you ever massaged a man that led to sex? Like? Are you into massaging in the bedroom or always get you let me exactly? They either say let me rub your back on? They tell you to rub day back

And that's the last person I had sex with. That's how we want them having sex. But I mean, this is how you got got well yeah, did you really get got? God? Though? No? Yeah, I just want to say, wait, weald about the guy that we're talking about your mother bitch. Oh wait, now we're gonna get there. We're gonna get there. No. But to me, it's crazy because I really enjoy getting massage and I like I hate giving them. I'll be telling them I'm work work all day, I'm tired, I'm

lazy too. I need to I don't ride. I don't like I know I do it, But I'll just be like I told you. I'm really into like, but I don't like a real one like I like to like I love some massage chest male and female, and like put my pussy right on them and like rub their chests while they're looking at me. And then like sometimes I'll flip over and like we rubbing their legs and

my pussy in their face. And if I'm showing out, I'll do like only if I really like the guy, like I have to really like you to give me give you a massage, but I get into the whole, like all rubbed the calves and stuff. But then I just like to get up because then I'm by the thighs and then I like spread their booty cheeks I do the girl. They'd be running, well you know, I just do it in the back for a little while and then I'd be like I'll be having that. Yeah, No, seriously,

that's literally what goes on. It's hard to give like a good moratic erotic miss. I think we can make them fun is like touching everything, but like I be gave right and increase, I can't. I don't funk with people who are like that. They'll be like come on now, Like I wanted to bring back though guys. UM. How the erotic massage led to the development of the vibrator. UM. A solution was the invention of massage devices, which shortened the needed treatment from hours to minutes, removing the need

for midwives and increasing a physicians treatment capacity. Already at the turn of the century, hydrotherapy devices were available at bath and by the mid nineteenth century they were popular at many high profile bathing resorts across Europe and America. By eighteen seventy a clockwork driven vibrator was available for physicians, and in eighteen seventy three the first electro mechanical vibrator was used at an asylum in France for the treatment

of hysteria. UM. But basically, by the turn of the twentieth century, the spread of home electricity is what brought vibrators into our home. UM. And I just go to say that UM, because I want to shout out. I want to shout out hold on. Let me get her name right. It starts with a v who gave us those toys in UM? Veronica. I want to give a I want to give a huge shout out to Veronica, UM because she came to our l A live show,

and she gifted us with mad sex toys. Now, if y'all I've said it before, i'd be like, bitch, I just like my fingers. I don't really use sex toys, but I'll allow. Okay, let me give it a try. Um. So I tried the woman isiser. This is not an ad I need you all to know that. Um. And literally, for a split second of using it, I thought I would never need dick again. Um. So I tried the woman either. Now here's my problem, right, So I tried

it with the use of CBD infused loop. Um. If you guys want to know what type, come to my Instagram. I'm not gonna say it on here, but it just made me fucking like feel some type of what I was making, like cat noises, like I remember mom like that while I was mastivating, I was like, it felt so good. Um. It's a pretty pricey toy. Um. So if you guys want to look I did look it up. Um. There's an option of a hundred dollar one and a two D one um and I believe you may be

able to find it on Adam and Eve. So you guys use our w D five zero. Maybe not for that because the woman is apparently is that ship. It is almost there is like a guarantee you to a year ago whenever I was well, I used it and I was kind of like this is a little too much. It's a I was like, like a clip over your clip, right, So it's so good. It's so good, ladies, if you if you're looking for a new toy, the woman I bitch, and it makes me not one dick like it needs

to be. The sucking I might never go downside that they're making on like Amazon that you can get. I think it's like forty five dollars you could type and clips sucking. Honestly, it'll come up. But the woman is the original quote unquote or most well known. I don't know if it's an original, but clip sucking toy. And so it basically takes the you know, the clip and the skin around it, and it's like right, also the more blood flow too. Not only that, got it got

a silence. That's how we'd be coming. Got a silencer, so it'd be vibrate like you don't even hear it. So I feel like I'm gonna try to like bring it on the plane with me because it doesn't vibrate like I was like, this ship really silently. We had a dope episode with them on Patreon. I really kind of want to post it on here where we had these flight attendants and they were telling us how sex is not you can and all they're gonna tell you. So here's okay, let me stop, let me revert what

I was to saying. So they basically were the girls tell the story about how she called a woman giving a blow job and she said I tapped her and let her know and go to the bathroom. And I was like, why would you do that? She's like, because two people are allowed in the bathroom. They just have to make sure there's two oxygen masks in the bathroom. And if they knocked on the door, as long as you weren't making too much noise, you can be like, oh I was sick, he was helping mer, he was

a at my dress or whatever. But you can't have assistance in the bathroom. So when we were done, this is only last night we did that was I looked it up last night. I'm like, no, my nigga, how come I couldn't find it? And apparently yeah, I mean, unless you're literally caught in the act, which some people have been on Twitter. There's been video. Can't be be like, there's no nothing at all about being in the bathroom

of the opposite set. I mean I could go in with my girl and gave a tip do it on the red eye flights because she'd be like, we'd be we'd be ready to land to it. Everyone's sleep like, you're not gonna be distracting as long as she said. The only way she even knew the girl was giving head is because you heard she was like, it's like really like you gotta give head quiet, no slap. It's happy on the plane, like you gotta give him some dryhead, soum the moment you have all been waiting for. Um

as you guys know that's some one. I'm probably gonna be like, what are they talking about? Can probably listen If y'all don't know, Ketty, just know this is the thing. And she said, I'm ready. Guys about you in India, Hutty and I we chat online. We chat very casually. This bitch texted me, I don't know what time of night it was or day. She was like wheezy and I was like, looked at the name. That's where cutty

I was she's talking about. I just got happy. I was like, I wanted Instagram and yeah, so I'm excited because I was like, who am I gonna tell? Well, now you're telling about a hunting paper. No, but I mean, like, where am I going to share my story yet? Because you're not be on Live Alive. But it's not. It's better. It's better it's juicy, are than just the regular live juicy when someone can go back and for it and be like it's juicie when it's But like, I just

I just needed the right platform to tell it. I was like, who better than? Wh else was better than? So we're gonna go. We're gonna do it. Set the scene and Okay, So I was in India and you know in Asia they have it's widely known that there's like eight dollar massages for like a whole hour everywhere. So I'm like, I've been to Thailand, got my little eight dollar massage over there, Bensibally, got my little hossage

over there. So I'm like, I just really wanted a little cheap massage that's old because at the hotel, you know, be like a hundred dollars. I'm like, no, that's fine in the little nail salon uncol. So we you know, me and my friend are all looking around for a cheap massage place, but they don't want to send us there. The hotel keep on trying to send us to somewhere, but we're like, no, dirty, dirty spot. You said dirty said? She says dirty spot. I said she was spy. But

so you're gonna blame your friend. No, no, no no, no no, but that's not what happened. So they sentence is somewhere that was basically like the dirty spot. But he tried to charge just like sixty dollars, I guess because he knew what hotel was coming from. So she was like, listen, it's not that oest um the Lodi and um New Delhi. But let's not talk about how she was also riding around and like a Rolls Royce the hole. No, yeah,

jaguar in right ball. Girl know some days we was in a cam okay, so you're you're now heading and they tried to charge you sixty dollars. Yeah, but so we're like, listen, this spot is bullshit, Like we don't mind being here, but we're not spending spending sixty dollars, like we're leaving. So we literally go into a random spot across the street. There were like four spots across the streets. So we're like, oh, how much is for um our massage? They said fift rupees that's like twenty dollars.

So I was like, yeah, yeh need to right, we're going. So they're like, okay, come pay whatever. We go to. We go in the room and there's a like full size bed, like low with two pillows. There's a jacuzy right, and then there's a shower. So we had just come from the taj Mahle, so we were it was a hundred and five degrees over there. So she was sweating. My friend was sweating and she was like, no, he not about to um, they're not about the massage. Me sweating.

So she hopped in a shower real quick, and the guy's knocking on. I'm like, hold on, yeah, it was in the room. It was a shower in the room, in a jacuzi in the room. So she was like just rinsing off real quick. So then she goes and she says, um, they're knocking on the door, and he's like oh. I'm like hold on, hold on, and he's like I need to talk to you and I'm like what, like what? So he says, we want to put you in another room and I'm like okay, yeah, you don't

like yeah, it was like a couple of room. But he was like, they're not gonna be comfortable. So when he said they're not gonna be comfortable, I assumed that he meant both of you are gonna be on the same bed. It's gonna be hard for them. Some maneuver around the bed and like yeah, and and massage right, So I definitely was like, oh, like I gave massages in my own room one of time. Whatever, don man, he's like a woman for you, man for you, and she was like, no, we're both for a women. I

was like, no, I'm tak a man. I like it hard, Like I don't I request men too, only because sometimes women are a lot more gentle. Yeah, I'm like, I have had real backgrounds. I really want you to dig I like deep massage, deep, we believe kind of what you got. It was so funny because when I was in like Thailand and um Bali, I kept on tweeting and I was like I can't find the happy endings fine, joking around like, oh they're not doing any happy endings?

Where is where is that? And I always didn't get them over always I was joking about it because you know, people always sing it. But they had you ever had like your breast massage by the dinner? No? Never, no, like in the massage sudden not me neither are they supposed to massage? No, they like they like under but they don't like that's what I've had. They've had. I've had them like no, no, no, I've had at least three times. No, maybe your breast looked just that. They

always something even like that, okay, nothing. So I go in my room, I have on the disposable underwear and I'm laying on the table and he starts massaging me for like the first three or four minutes and then he's like take these off, and I'm like okay, because I just always I always get naked massages and the only thing that saves me is the towel which they move around anyway. The disposable panties I ain't never had. Yeah they I mean a lot of places don't give

you them. So like the disposable panty is when they're using like a lot of oil. It's gonna say a lot of oil, scrubs and mud. That's when I've had disposable. But I've never had someone asked to remove my panties. I know me neither, and I don't know if I would have done it, but continue on. Let because I've had it to wear. I take everything, like I'll actually tell them, um, I don't wear panties, so that's probably

why I mostly do. But I do let them know before I get on dress, like, I'll tell them, listen, I don't have panties on. Is it okay? And they're like, yeah, but you're comfortable. In some small places would be like keep calm and keep your underwear on. It has signs

like I ain't got none to keep on. I gotta let them know, like and keep you know, how do people now we're underwear but whatever that's ain't got him on that I need And because I always I always need to get wet, right is my barrier right now today? But not it's and it's not even like a horny wet. It's like a freaking sweaty so soaky, drippy wetale. My office is Antarctica. I'm freezing all day. Okay, so so you now take off your panties. So you didn't know

what was happening. I swear to god, I wasn't thinking this has never happened. I thought it was a myth. Can you tell us really quick? Can you describe the man that told you to take your penis? It was bad? Oh? I want to know. What did he look like? Oh? I hate you? He was the same. He was this short, little short and I didn't hy end about like five four, skinny with a pot belly. I turned one eye twisted to the other. He was he was something i'd I

don't know. It wasn't a fake and if it was a good, happy ending, technically he had a gifted his eye his eye was twisted. Okay, so the twisted I laid his hands on. Now, I just got embarrassed because you know what, everybody who asked about this story ain't never asking. Why wouldn't we? This is like what don't need to know? Don't the guy who was getting my man and he looked like a chip and like my friends about you and twisty tree. So your panties are yeah.

So I swear to god, I didn't think anything. I was like, oh, like, I just thought it was what they do in India. So I'm like laying on my stomach and he's massaging up and down one leg. Right, So he goes up and down the leg three times. On the third swipe, he takes like his his hand and swipes like by the lip, like right right, like a little credit card, like a metro card situation. So like but quick, so you think it might be what you know what the first time he yeah, he just

touches it like now. At first, I was like, oh god, I'm not even I'm not even shaved, and I'm and then I'm like see because I hadn't already stopped before I went in there, so I was like, I know, you didn't think he was gonna find Yeah, so I was like I had a little, you know, a little stubble. So I'm like all right. So then he goes down, he goes back down the leg, he goes back up, and then he does like a false swipe, and I'm like I felt good, hold on, I said, he supposed

to be doing this. What the fuck? What is going on here? Like mad stuff? Is going through my head. But I'm like, not stop right. So now he sees that, I'm you know, like I guess that was his little wait. So he goes and he just goes and like spreads my leg a little bits. Yeah mind you, he said little leg legs. He spreads my legs a little bit because yeah, and then like starts touching my vagina and like yeah, like and I'm like all these things are going to bed. I'm like this is not right. I'm

like this feels really good. Oh this is real. Oh it's real. Oh wow, I have a story to tell. How it's gonna have a best story in this. This is like I have like all of these things. I feel so guilty whenever at like a good sex moment because I'm like, damn, wait till the he is right and I'm like okay. So he's and then he does that for a little while and then he says turn over, and I'm like okay, okay, So I turned over and I keep my eyes closed because I don't want to

see the eye to keep my eyes closed. And he's at the bottom of the table and he's like on straddle of the table and then he's like he was just staying up something. Yeah, I don't know. My eyes is closed, and he's like playing with the clip with my nipples and he's playing with it was a oh boy. He's like, try to make me come now, like you're really not even getting massages now, and he his his duty is to make me come now, and he's playing

with everything. And then he goes and he puts his fingers and that's a lot, you know, oh you need yeah, I got my eyes are closed. Man, I don't know, so he just two fingers, but he didn't do that a lot. But then he goes and he feel like you were you clinching? No? Wait, So I'm like, oh my god, this God, this good. But I don't want him. I'm trying not to give him a reaction because I don't see. You weren't making noise, so no, because I didn't know. I was sniful because I didn't want him

to get too excited and take any further. So right, so I'm up there and I'm just like eyes closed, eyes closed, but he's gonna go, go, go, and then finally I come and then but I kept it, so I was like, have you ever came off of s yeah. I And it's so funny because like when people talk about poring and stuff and they're like, oh, yeah, I need to from the minute they walk in the doors, I'm like, listen, I take the little four minute clips. By two and a half, I'm done. Like I'm one

of those. I literally Yet I like it to last longer. Yeah, but it just doesn't. But you know what, I don't masturbate a lot so that I can have that sensation and like make sure that I could come. Yet, what else helps too with that? Like if you're trying to like have better are stronger orgasms if you watch porn a lot, like if cutting it off a little bit and like learning how to relearn your body and like use your mind to work that way, that can help

you too. It's hard, though, I don't do it. I don't want it, So I got to sleep aout nine o'clock. I don't listen. Like so okay, so I got you said that you didn't make noise, So so I didn't make noise. I'm like, but no, no, no, I didn't make noise. I was like it was like did he know? Then? I guess because then afterwards I was like, okay, back and turned around and go back to my back, right, because yeah, this it's an hour missile. So I'm like, you came in, how long and how many minutes do

you know of your massage? How long you were being masturbated? Not long? Not long? And then he got into so he and then he went back to regular massage, ngs all of your juices from his fingers into your back. Oh my god, I mean that's I didn't even think about that bad. So I turned back around, go back to and he's massaging and he leans down. He says no extra, and I'm like, that wasn't extra. What is extra? Like? No?

And then he goes, okay, and then you had to ask for research purpose and extra, right, I did it. Some ten minutes later, I didn't want to talk to this man. Some five minutes later, he goes he says, no extra, No, no extra. I don't know what. I don't know what extra is all of my show extra? No. It was just so like, what the funds this extra? Yo? I was like, you might be like, yo, look at me. Oh god, I was like no. So I'm getting dizzy. Then finally I started like getting a little nervous. And

then like, I hear more people outside. So I'm like, I think my friend is done. He goes yeah, and he just and then he just how much? Um, that's two thousand rupees? So I think that's like twenty eight dollars in real life. I mean, I mean, sorry, in US life, you tipped two tho rupees? Yes, instead of in the home massage. Yeah, okay, yeah, so good for you. So so I go into the other room and my friend is like, oh my god, she has to touch because your girl, your friend, I had a girl. She

had a girl. And I was like, she was like, Alex, this is a special place. She's mortified, not even she is mortified. I'm like, let's get out of here. She's like, yes, let's get out of here. And then I go and I picked up my phone and she has been texting me up. A storm was coming, yo. She has been texted. I'm trying to find the legement. I wonder why I was on you. When I was on the phone, she had been texting me. Oh, she says, she says, you alive. Oh,

this is a special place. He just asked the rubbed my pussy. She just asked, the rubbed my man may I rub your pussy for you. Oh my god, she asked again. So while she's getting the side, she pulled the phone out, she said, because she she declined it. Well, first of all, she had a woman, so maybe she was like, hell no, I don't know, but she was like, she said, the lady said, ma'am, we have twenty eight minutes left. I can massage your pussy. And she was like,

excuse me. She was like, oh no, man, absolutely not. She was like, she was like, she's like, man, please please, she she she begged. She said, I need to make money to get passport. Because no. Wait, so did speaking of money to get pass for it? Did you know how much to give him? No, I just gave him anything. So you gave him thirty five No, two thousand rupees so like twenty eight dollars No, but you gave him that total paid. So you gave him rupie from I

don't know. They probably don't so you gave him total. No, he probably doesn't get any of the rupees that I paid. The I got you. I kind of thought they were like independent. No, So now I feel horrible because she's like she's like, oh we She's like, I don't hourly. Probably what's the name of the place, remember spaking, it's probably those I want to google something. And then she says so that she goes and she says, you know, um, you know, we we need money to to get married

and have kids. Here like you, the women have to have money. No, no, no, saying all of this. He was like, this, bitch, just so we really need she you know, over there you have to have money to you know, have kids and get married. Uh maybe, but they have more than on one location. I think this location was like being built up like they were. Yeah. Yeah, actually so, oh my god's so dark, so unsafe, Oh my god. Yeah, google that. So she goes and she says, um,

so she's selling her whole life story. She's like crying, She's like, you know, and then she's like, man, we have eleven minutes left. I can still mustache. But she was like no. After the first time that she asked that, that's what, she hopped up and grabbed her phone and started sex to me, like you you know, even knowing you was trying to My phone was in the room with her, because remember initially we were supposed tom So

when I came and I looked at the text. I was like, oh my gosh, she was freaking the funk out. What was your friend's reaction when she knew that you the guy? Damn. Actually we didn't really get all the way into it because she was so mortified. So you would like, let me keep muship, I said, well, I let him touch me, but I said, that's all I said. But so, if you're listening, sorry you were, you were really, really, really mortified. I was also see how maybe another woman

kind of feature out. I just read something says best body to body missige. What the fund is that? Now I had a body to body massage in Miami once I found it on Craigslist. I found my Miami. Oh wait, you deliberately went to go get happy and then I'll tell you. I'll tell you about my happy briefly. Oh so um, I wanted to get I can't even say his name, but one of my friends, very close to him, had not had had sex in years seven years at the time, and we at least have to get you

jerked off, right. There was a lot of friends jack off. So I look up this place. This is ould trip two thousand twelve or some ship. I'm like, I got it. It's got the stars, it's got the squiggly lines. Were good to go. We get there, it's in a strip mall really cute girls, me, him, my other friend one.

I want to say, who got so Anyway, this is when my breasts were rubbed for the first time and she got on top of me and it was body to body, which a lot of tie massages are body to body because they'll use their body to crack you. It's not necessarily always erotic. But the best part of the massage was the table shower still to this day,

best experience I've ever had. So basically, you get on this sponge bath, there's like probably six shower heads above you, and they fucking get all up in your crevices, pussy ass, armpits, bottom of your feet, scrub It's such a good feeling. You could do it before, after your massage, whatever you like. But in that massage, I never knew about body to body, so like she used her arm throughout my arms, she used her legs throughout my legs, everything like picking me

up and like cracking me out. Like it was good. So it wasn't necessarily a sex massage, but some people like that ship for erotic ship, you know, so like and it's not something that every place like they could really do, which is why we had to go on clas well. This one was very I was like, Mandy gonna be like, oh my god, he didn't ask for a consent. Came for him to just start, so I'll be what's crazy is my massus guy did not ask for consent either, but um, so I got it done.

In Miami, I shared it. I don't even remember what episode, but I was with my homegirl for her birthday. UM shout out to my friend Jazz and just graduated group on one. I thought we didn't, so we went. We were in Miami and she she came with me to Asia, so I was with her. Um my old roommate Crystal, and so we went to this massage place that we yeah, we found out group on. We had to leave the beach because like we couldn't find anything like, okay, bitch,

I found this place this over on Austin Road. We could just go over there real quick. So we left the beach, went to the massage place. Um before we called, they said they had two girls and a guy. I called it up from I said, well, I need a guy because I like man massages, like I don't like anything. So we get there, um and we get sent to

our different rooms. So the guy, when I walk in, he's like this tall Russian or German or he's somewhere in Europe, but like just looks like a goddamn action figure. A beautiful man though, So we started talking about where he's from. He just moved to Miami. I can go an accent, so I didn't want to talk too much because I really couldn't understand too much of him. But he was handsome. I was like, okay, So as he is massaging me, he like is going up my thigh

the same way. This is me being actually I was. I was laying now on my back. This is after I had rolled over. So he's massaging my thighs, massaging my thighs, and as he's doing it, I do kind of start feel him getting closer up my thighs and my whole ass. I opened up my legs so as he's up there, like I just started inching like up my pussy um. And then yeah, he literally went from massaging my thighs to rubbing his finger around my thing. And I had to like not moan, mind you bitch.

I came out fifteen minutes later than my friend. They was like, well, what your massage? We only paid an hour and it looked at me because I was just smiling, and I was smiling in a year when I left and I was like, thank you, like you did a really good you guys, mind you. Neither of my friends really care for them and something. They were like, this was actually I'm recommending U, and it was it was like,

so did you come? Oh? I was yeah, Like it started feeling too good, and I was like, man, I'm about to get him a number everywhere, Like had group and massage me and like did the thigh thing and I got tighter and tighter. It was fine. I knew I want honestly, Like I don't know. It scares me. I will say they should definitely there should be some and that says, well, well either way, whether it doesn't

matter what country, happy ending should be somewhere. But I know it's literally I know it's illegal, but maybe put somewhere. Maybe we all know secretly there's a happy and I don't know, or maybe pay in the beginning. I don't know, but you don't look like no, cos I would have told you, has there's something two Americans coming in a spot. I don't know, man, you think that looks kind of sketch. I don't know, well because I mean there's not a

lot of Americans around there. Yeah, but you had that nose around you was you was a whole Indian guard. You probably looked I just care for the had a freaking punch Jobby. Did anyone online be like, yo, that's appropriation as what? Oh? No, really, I got I think the difference to it Dubai is like the sand dunes, so you get to cover your face. So I was wondering too that I feel like somebody's gonna be fake. I mean, but if you want to the taj Mahal,

that's the thing too. When you're going to these bosques, you have to cover up like it's not I remember, well, what is this the massoleum? Okay? But I remember like even when I was, even when I thought it was because when I was it looks like when I was in Bangkok we went to the palace and I thought I had covered up enough, like I had just all black on. My my shirt was long um and I put a denim jacket over it, but I had legs on. I was a big girl, but nigga like it's hot,

I'm more leggings. And because my leggings were tight, even even though it covered my whole body, they were like it's too tight, like you need to you know. And I was like, I'm gonna get in this, y'all not stop it. Even Thailand skirts too, that they were selling

in Thailand. I noticed where because most women were wearing words, Oh no, like Thailand wasn't as um wasn't as strict to me that as like I did have to cover it, oh bitch, And I've been a cutter that I had a maxi dress and a denim but again my ass

was looking. A man literally changed almost like literally the guy that I was with at the time, we were scared, like he just started yelling, but in his in his language to where like it created a whole like the whole supermarket was staring at me and my dude at the time at six eleven fucking dreads from Atlanta. I'm over there seeing him because he was playing ball over there at the time, and I'm confused because I'm like, I have a long dress to my knees. I have

a denim jacket. It's sucking a hundred degrees. How is there are a problem? But I guess my dress was too tight for them, and so literally the wife came up to me and was like, honey, you're fine, Like I'm so sorry, but mind you, she's covered only a lot. It's very conservative and cutter in comparison to Dubai. So like it was the scary, like I had been scared.

The literally the security guard had to walk us to our car in the garage at the supermarket because it calls such like an uproar, and he was like, don't worry, man, you look fine, Like I don't know what was wrong with him, but like it made me feel uncomfortable. So I could see why even I get I get why people would think it would be cultural appropriation, but you

also want to respect the cultures when you go. No, I just thought that the Indian guards were so beautiful, like when you go to the here and like you, the fabric is amazing and you have to get the maide, Like I didn't buy that. I had to go get the fabric and then go to the tailor. He had

to tailor the whole thing, you know, measurement. But it was probably because I just bought Is it appropriation if tourists were I mean by American definition, yes, but everybody was like, my god, but you know where it comes from, Bollywood culture, because we're such fucking face ends of Bollywood all over the world. Bollywood is so amazing. So I feel like it's you know, you're just really feeling like, this is what I've been seeing, this is what I've

been looking at, opposed to like dashiki ship. I don't know why I should be bothering me, but it's not even like just wrong, yeah, you know what, It's just like I would here. Crystal wants an Indian wedding. We've talked about it, either an Indian or African wedding. She doesn't care if she marries the Indian. That's the type of wedding she wants, just because of the beauty of the dancing. So beautiful, beautiful, It's really the fabrics are beautiful. Wedding.

I don't know about but clothes, but I could fun with I mean, we showering. We have themes for baby. You can have a theme for a wedding. I guess a Bollywood theme as long as it's no, because I always want to make sure that you don't cross over to their religion, right, which is what's the thing that about Thailand I was just thinking about when she was talking about Cutter and Thailand. Thailand Taipee people really probably themselves on acceptance a lot. But that's just Buddhist way

right with um. You know their l g pt Q community. Have you on the t right, like oh my god, yeah, in those spaces, they're very proud that they are good to their transgender men, women whatever, mainly trans women, and even any tour I had or any like temple I went into, like they would talk about that, which I really appreciate it. Um. So yeah, I think that also maybe why we experience a leniency in Thailand opposed to these other countries because there's not really many gender um

oppressing laws. But we were in um India. The there's like literally people okay, you know how they sell fruits on the street, they sell water on the street. Now they're not on your window. They're selling a paperalel, they're selling a pen, they're selling the weirdest ship that you're like, is this the money sense? So that we not buy anything then, because and then every single light, which is not many lights, there's what we would consider a trans

person coming to the window, knocking on the window. Right, So I'm about to step so I'm I'm like, so what is this person selling? He's like nothing, and I'm like, okay, so why they're knocking on the window. He's like, don't look, no man, no woman. And I'm like, okay, what is that? What is that? I'm like, They're like, no, it's not a man, it's not a woman. I'm like, so, then what what? I don't want to say it, but I'm like, so what do you what it? What it? What? What

is that? Like? I'm like, so it's used to be a man, used to be a woman. No, no, man, no woman. Don't look And I'm like huh but I'm trying to understand. So but I'm like, so then what is it? If it's not a woman, then what is it? And then he just could not answer and they literally just it's like, you're nothing. What are they knocking on the windows for? Do you know? For money? Oh? Just begging for yeah, just begging for money. But they the

people don't look at them. Is consider them anything. They're like no woman, which is I don't know what that's different than Thailand because in Thailand they're actually um and a lot of Southeast Asia trans women are actually salt out after just because their body types are a lot more feminine over there. I know a lot of basketball players when they go and play in Southeast Asia. When you have money, that's what you do as a form

of I've made it. You actually sleep with a trans woman. Yeah, and so I really feminine bodies, but they're lean people. They've got less hair on their bodies, they grow longer hair of how they've got a softer um jaw like everything. So like the most elite looking or most cis looking is also a thing most possible if you want to use words like that. Trans women come from Southeast Asia. Like even the men right when you think of their body is very tall. A lot of comments about Ali Wong.

Did you ever see the Pregnant Netflix special and she talks about my man is like a dolphin no hair? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, I guess it's easy because you like I just couldn't, but I just I wanted and you know, because there was a language barrier that he couldn't really articulate what he how I wanted him to because I wanted him to explain what the fund did. He mean, that's crazy because that means like they're not even like we have a long way to go with being progressed. That's what

I'm saying. We will just say, Okay, that's a transfer. It's nothing to us. Okay, even if a woman looks like a woman like sex and was very similar to trance people, it's like a weird thing. And I'm reading right now, but can you can you hear him? So Benson was just saying, there's a third gender slash. You know, we got Indian camera guy, so he gonna give his knowledge. Oh, wasn't just something that I ran by when I was in India actually, and they discussed that their general a

documentary roundly when I was like tenth grade. It was a matter of trippy. But um, I don't have that much information on it. But all I know is there's a whole third gender and like they essentially like take away their manhood and their womanhood. Also they cut the clip and I believe so there's something to do with like h I j r. A name, So it's not trans is not a name. I mean from what I

just read, they're usually organized with the communities. But um, they like if they're in poverty and stuff like that, Like they kind of looked down where they go with sex workers. Yeah maybe yeah, but it was crazy one of the one of them were knocking on the window with with rupees in their hands, like we're like, why how are you asking for money? And you already got right. But it's like a cut with a little change. I guess that's what it's. Maybe they couldn't have a cut.

It's so true. Maybe this coun't let you know what I mean more it is, that's so true. I actually heard this term third sex. My first time hearing that was years ago. One of my favorite videos is Maria Rodriguez comedian called Janie Papas. He's been on Andrews Show. Um he goes on there and he goes, um, third sex from the Lower east Side and he's when he says, you know this ask pussy, don't think and this that's sick came from And he always talks about like yo,

I never knew this would catch on. Like I actually used to listen to their podcast. I don't think we have anymore called the Rigorous Podcast and he would always do that voice, but yeah, you would call himself third sex and I was like, huh, I never that's kind of answering it is, and I wonder if it's like an old kind of I don't know. I've never grown up in third sex. I never heard of third sex. Before we wrap this up, I want to ask you would you get an happy ending again? Oh? Yeah, regular,

they're all on Lexington Avenue. You could get him here. But okay, you know what, Okay, you're not Americans. I don't know if okay, let me think I would not solicited. Yeah, okay, I always wanted to be You want to be surprised? Yeah, that well we should be preaching. I surprised. No, it's so funny, that's all I'm saying. It was so funny because when I was I text Small and I said I want I want to be part of your boys club.

I was up there talking about happy ending, his hand jobs and all of that stuff on a couple of episodes when Kraft got uh yeah, oh please he damn a millionaire can't get a handy, and I was like, well, I want to be harder to the you know, and I'm still gonna get the obsession thing with masturbation during massages is crazy. One of my old colleagues told me about how he would argue with his girl because he's like, you know what, gee, she doesn't get it, Like I'm

making money. I'm happy with her, but I'm gonna get jerked off my fucking ritual. It was before huh after her, I like to get church off. What's the four don't know. I'm cool with that. And he said that if you're in a relationship, I mean, I don't I don't want to know. I don't want you to come home and be like and we're like where you was at if I went down took it happen. I don't want to. There's a novelty of it and I don't know what it is, but people fucking love it. And he told

me he's like, I feel spoiled. He's like, you don't want to get relux. You know. Sometimes I've been thinking about this. Sometimes um relationships really have this like create these boundaries that you just can't do your own thing that really doesn't mean anything against your relationship is just like yo thing, you know, so it's kind of like talked about toxic traits that people didn't realize we're toxic.

And that's one of those like you set these boundaries because you're in a relationship, and then things that probably wouldn't really upset you because you're in a relationship now they upset you but for no reason. Feel like fake boundaries are creative. But like even even the porn thing, like when people get mad at, first of all, watching porn, there's some people get mad that watching port and then then some people would get mad at the type of when you watch because they feel like, oh, I'm not

that personal. I'm not that's like what you're watching the opposite or oh that's what you're into whatever, Like what turns me on, you know, doesn't necessarily mean that's what I'm It's like that isolated fantasy moment, you know what I mean, But it's not really like what I'm trying to do. But even men who you know, get mad at their women for using sex toys now they don't feel adequate enough. And so there's just a lot of things.

But I think that that happens a lot. And yes, like we said, we are not um soliciting unsolicited UM, second hands dos and happy endings. Make sure that consent is me in somewhere. You know what's gonna happen. We are gonna hop into our homemail, UM, which you can help us out with. Again. If you guys want to send in your homemail, make sure you send that into Horrible Decisions at gmail dot com. UM, this one is

struggling to be sex positive. Hey ladies, First up, I love, love, love the podcast The Pair of You keep me so entertained. Please do a live show in London? All right, shout out to the UK UM to jump right into my problem. I'm not the most experienced girl. I waited for the one quote unquote and lost my V card in my twenties. While all my friends have been doing it from the age of fourteen. I haven't heard V card right is UK? It might be Oh yeah. When I finally got with

the man I was in love with. The sex was painful, disappointing, almost traumatic. It was unplanned. I was wasted and don't she look how to turn into Jamaican. I was wasted and didn't remember anything but waking up covered in blood and bruises. All right, everybody, tried out, Okay, let's pass it around. I cannot do it the game. I'm right here one sentence, I was hot looking. I went it so long for it's just to wait, I think unble

they started the second air goce. I was to wait too, so long, just for it to happen in such an unceremoniously brush and meaningless way. Because I was drunk, the lines of blurry about whether or not I consented. Also, there was a lot of guilt and shame attached to having grown up in a deeply religious household and always being taught sex outside of marriage was a sinful thing. I bled heavily the first few times I had sex penetration, hurt like hell, I can't do it anymore, and even

had a horrible pregnancy scare. Meanwhile, the one was cheating and only came clean when he contracted lamidia. I got tested, came back clean, but it all ended a breakup that tore my world to shreds. On top of that, I was hiding the relationship from my family. I've been going in between. Australia would just owned if they found out. Let me let me get my friends harry. From then on, I can't help but be incredibly cautious and closed off

when it comes to sex. It's sad because despite everything in my head, I'm super open to all forms of kink and freak ship. For example, I love your show and follow a lot of progressive women like yourselves, activists, educators, and sex workers. It's time, like I, it's time that I embrace sex positivity for everyone but myself. I'm such a prude after my experiences. How do I overcome my struggle to be sex positive and even get out there so I can have enjoyable, adventurous sex. Bitch, I can

barely read English, the King's English. That I was gonna say, guilt tripping yourself? So many fucking traumatic experiences. Pregnancy scares heavily. So how does she now she lost it at twenty one? How does she now that she doesn't say? She said she actually lost it in her twenties, and so I'm not sure all of her friends lost it earlier. Um, But basically, being that her first sexual partner was not

it was not only painful, disappointing and traumatic to her. Um. She bled a lot after she got bruises, and then of course he cheated on her and contracted STD. So I feel like there's just a lot of fear with even knowing if she's going to enjoy it again. UM. I think that this is something in which she may need to seek therapy for because this is a trauma that probably you won't just snap out of. UM. It's

definitely gonna take work. I think what's more important than that is for you to share this story with whoever you decide to be your partner. UM and So this may actually take more dating than casual sex. It sounds like you want to just get out there and have fun, but I think that in order for you to get over this, you are going to have to find a man that you trust. UM. Also, it doesn't necessarily have

to be a man. You may find comfort in women UM and So there are a lot of things that don't have to deal with penetration to where you won't you know, feel pain. UM. So you may also want to consider maybe being intimate with a woman. UM. That's something in which you may experience something different, and it's something that will allow you to be vulnerable and grow a friendship with someone UM on that level outside of just looking at you know, someone that wants to just

dick their dicking you. Um, So for me it would be that would be my advice, UM to seek therapy or maybe look for a female companion and see if maybe that's something you're interested in. But another thing is I think that, like you said, she she seems like she wants to go out and do all of this stuff with you know she. I think some people just want to do what everybody else is doing because they're

just like everybody else to have casual sex. You know, I can't do want to give her credit to for saying, like, you know, I can be open for everyone else and embrace their sexuality. That's a good start. Like you know, like sometimes we can be that way where we're like, yes, go be independent blah blah blah blah, but maybe we're not,

or we could be like yo, funk that nigga. But where's your text in the ex That happens all the time, you know, And it's not like you're doing it on purpose, like you know what's right, it's just how do I do it? But the thing is that everybody, I mean here, even in our own circle of friends, you have the friend that's not a hope you know she's not home, like you know that she's not about one in the circle. Is that what you're trying to know. I'm not I'm

not the not hole. Okay, I have friends who are not are not the home and I'm not. I'm not the highest hole. Like I'm not the like the highest I'm not gonna get into that. Like I'm not like you guys, I like them, not the most usual who came on the podcast. Oh, my friend came on Brandon and he said, we said you lost your Virginia and nineteen. He said, I'm not playing past like you know, like, I'm not that, but I'm not a prudy. And what

you're saying is probably where she's feeling. Because for her to even bring up my friends lost it at fourteen, I feel like she could be also feeling the precisus of her friends, UM, which isn't good. I don't I don't think that you should say here and UM be one to follow the crowd or even if you listen

to this podcast all the time. I want to tell all of you guys, UM communication again, it is big, but everyone has their different paths, their different desires, their different fetishes, UM and so even with listening to us, we don't want to feel like we're forcing y'all to go out and live this kinky, fetishy lifestyle of b D S M and all these things. Like again, everyone is on their own path sexually to find what, you know, what heals them, what brings them or meets them spiritually,

even if it's elephants and ship. Um. But to not use your friends or everyone around you, or society as a stepping stone to where you feel like you are matched against everyone. Even as even as vocal as I am in whatever the hell I want to do, if people still like will kind of judge you for having sex earlier, they'd be like, oh, zam, you were fat, you know, shut the funk up. I mean, I see that sometimes and don't even realize it. Like, um, one of my really close one of my best friends, I

came on here, I think this episode twenty nine. He talked about how me and Mandy had hor phobia, and he's like, you guys are doing the work. He was like, but you don't even realize you do it to each other, bitch, you're a whole are you a ho? Ho? And we still kind of do it because that's how we kind of almost have a that's how we tease each other. We've made that part of our culture to hit up our friends and be like, bitch your hoss right and

have fun that way. Right. But sometimes, like I guess, for a person like yourself, who's you know, wrote this letter and we don't even realize how that can fuck you up. When I talked to my friends like that, I don't expect that. I really don't care about the word home, but you get you get shamed for saying you don't suck dick, so you damn exactly grow up.

I think. I think another thing that will help is I hate to say it, but I mean, you know who it's coming from, and if you listen to the show you I guess you can guess I would give you this advice, But no, I was gonna say, get a little more emotionally invested. That way, you don't feel as judged because I feel like an actual person. Yeah, I feel like if there's a bit of a deeper connection there, you won't have that fear that like, oh my god, this dude's gonna think I'm a sucking this.

To get yourself an EmPATH like wheezy. I even said that someone that you're maybe not able to have casual sex with what it needs to have some deeper meaning because you're gonna have to open up about your traumatic she needs like a Capricorn guy or So here we go with the guys, did astrology are you will go ahead of let everyone know? Everyone knows what about So like we basically like trick on niggas, what is it? We had a whole whole episode about it. So everyone,

I'm just saying, like, tell us what it's about. So The M and Man Is for Money is a guide women's guide on how to handle men and money and dating in relationship. It's a really fun written book. I haven't read your reloaded one, so this is reloaded with a lot more information. Yet it's the same book from the first time, with fifty more information. I add a whole bunch more UM scenarios, UM like counsel offering, flying

out rules, long distance relationships, um business relationship. Well, I love this, font says, I love the coverage too, So it's it's really it's really good. And a lot of you guys always ask us, how do I get money out of man? How do I get a Sugar Daddy.

We've had a fake for Sugar Daddy episode. But if you guys go back into our archive and listen to the episode with Cutty Um, it's literally titled the M and Man is for Money feature and Passport Cutty Um, you guys can actually read more about what the book is about. And again it's reloaded, so you now have the opportunity. I just randomly came to a paid shout out to you, Maniga, I'm gonna read you what I

just saw Splitting Rent. Don't think for a second that it's the ultimate no no, which so many women like to chant. There are so many different types of factors and scenarios about Splitting Rent. Do not get caught up in the unrealistic ideologies of other women. Fucking shout out to you, because you know what, other people really influence the idea that the people that were with named shit. But are you what are you bringing to the table too? Maybe you guys both have to contribute to it this way.

And I don't want you guys to everything for a second. Just because we may talk about men that are fluent, we're not a gold digging. It's not a gold digging manual. It's definitely very realistic. It's more and this one actually talks more about um relationships later on, because a lot of people kept on saying, Oh, I'm single, I don't want that, I don't need that, you know, I don't I don't want to change my expectation. I mean, I don't want to ruin my relationship by reading it. And

I'm like, actually, it could probably help you help. But that's the number one actually, like demise of relationships and marriages now is finances. So what you do is you give a lot of like kind of encouragement to you don't have to live by societal norms. But this is maybe a path you could take to where finances aren't such a huge But it's also about yourself. There's yourself. It's it's like the best of all worlds. It's about

for single women, is for women in a relationship. Like even today somebody was like, oh, I want to come to your tour, but I don't want to come along. I'm like girl. Even in the book, I have bar solo bar etiquette one on one, you know, like, yeah, that's I'm gonna get fluid out. Lying out rules is a goddamn chapter. But so I'm going on tour for the book again. I went two years ago to only

six cities. That's something going to twenty three cities. Than girl it's a it's like a girl's night out you read because some people think that you have to like read the books that come to the store. But it's not about that. It's just girl talk, relationships guys. It's food, drinks, questionings, just that. And it's cute venues and sup and then we I definitely want to pull up to let me know because the ships selling out quick, so had to

see which one I could pull up to. We themed it so that every single city has a different um clothing theme, so like some are like metallic, some are sat and some are late someone like that. That's cute and work. Where can our listeners find you and your book? It is passport Cutty. Oh sorry, you can find me on Instagram and two their passport underscore Cutty see U T t Y. And the book is on Amazon. These no more signed copies because I already did that for

pre order, but on Amazon you can get it. If you come to the Sore, I'll sign it. My mom calls Cutty the author, She's like I was talking earlier, She's like, who are you guys gonna have on like some guy who does like d SEM and then passport cutty. I was like, I don't know if the author Yeah, and then the book is on UM, the book at Barnes and Noble, I Tunes, UM, Google Play, every audible is gonna drop next week. Girls dope. Now we'll have it out by the time show us out well Probable

code none supported black Woman. We're gonna have all of this information in the description of this episode. Thank you, kay, guys, and we're so happy what everybody's doing getting fingered in India. So I don't know, but every single time I get like into a little closer to something more sexually freeing or something, I'm like, you know, that would be so proud.

We'll start with you three strokes up. And then I'm always you know, like if I'm on Live and somebody saying something like that's not really in my name, I'm like, that's what my name is it you gotta go up there. Yeah, I'm like I don't like it. As earlier, I was like, this is I am not Mandy, leave your asshole to you you. You guys are on the wrong page. You know what's funny? This girl, Um, we're saying something to me like, oh my god, like I know you strap up,

blah blah blah blah. And I said to her, Yeah, many, Peggy in the ass, but I'll Peggy in the pussy pussy And with that, you guys, enjoy a clip from our Patreon if you want to hear more of that episode. In the description of this thing episode, it'll be an y'all, y'all know what to do at patreon dot com. Backslash, how I'm going in and out of my accent so on my drizzy taking them yet that is Canadian, bro, No, but that's what Drake does. Back and forth. What's Canadian?

That's what you just said, mondam mondam mounting. That's what they say in fucking Canada. I think it's not. I'm pretty sure that they're appropriated, right, So all of Canada appropriated. You know what? This does manage another episode which we go we we've got to Toronto. You can talk about him all by y'all. By conflicted. Me and my boyfriend have been on and off since two thousand and eleven. Since two thousand, seventeen. We've been committed, we've been moved

in together. I loved him even when he's broke, super jealous and sometimes selfish and verbally abusive. For the last few months, sex has been spares. We haven't had consistent sex for nine months. When we do, he doesn't even stay hard. I ask if it's me and he says no, But I feel unwanted. He's always accusing me of cheating, even though I've never cheated. He said that me being friends with this guy used to deal with after he broke up with me three years ago is just as

bad as cheating. Now the issue is I am now seriously considering cheating with a different guy, and it would require flying out. I don't want to break up, and I really think things will get better. But a bitch is horny and lonely. Should I stay loyal or get picked down? So I'll be honest with you. You know well that too, um, But you reading this just remind like puts me in that space of a her not

valuing herself and be her being a pick me. I feel like a lot of women will sit here and be able to name everything that's wrong with their man but they stay with their man because they genuinely feel like I'm better than the next girl because I have a man. So a lot of women will stay in their situations just to say I have a boyfriend, or just to feel claimed, or just to feel wanted. And the fact that you're with this man, you sit here and say, the sex isn't good, he's abusive, mentally, he

gets jealous. You have all of these things negative to say about him. What is your reason for saying with him? Other than I think I think the one thing I will say instead of blaming her, because to me, that's too much of a blame game for a woman. I think a lot of times women feel like they should stick with that person and they've already started something, so now I've got to finish it. I remember this good time with someone, so they hold on to that. Most

people do in relationships. This is men and women. They remember these good moments and they're like, it's gonna get better, and they get very, very hopeful, and they feel like there's so much time invested. Two thousand and eleven, So she's like, damn, how can I end it? Now? Y'all stopped and then picked back up. Here's my thing with exactly what you're saying. And that entire email, did y'all hear one thing as to why she loves him. She

didn't even go back. So any good thing that's keeping her with him, all she listed out was everything that was bad, everything that she doesn't like, and then said, so I want to cheat, But loyalty to her meant more than anything else, which is what I think she's staying with him. I don't know if it's not this idea of loyalty, which is a lot of people feel

like tenure. Even with bad friendships, people feel like, oh, we've known each other ten years, I gotta stick with you instead of because it doesn't necessarily mean like it's to say I have a way friend, but people feel like I've put this time in how can I let it go? Just like with businesses that don't work. I've been wrapping ten years. It ain't taken off, but I put ten years of work in there. It's like you feel like you've invested all of this fucking energy. How

do you let go? I think that's really what it is. But bitch, you got right over him. Period. Because one of the things with the podcast, we sit here and talk about non monogamy, open relationships, polyamory, polygamy, which y'all get into that because I might be getting into a polygamous relationship soon. Um. But um, one thing what don't do that? Wait seriously, but one thing that we do that we don't always condone or we never advise you is to cheat. So you writing into us saying should

I cheat on him? You already know what we're gonna advise you know. I would say, break up with him, communicate with him all of the things that you feel a wrong with him, and see his response to see if those are things that he's willing to change in order for you guys to stay together. But I don't think that you should. Just your only option is to cheat, I would ask, I guess with two men in the room, Um, have you guys ever felt the need to stay with a woman who you guys, had such a long list

of negative things about her? And if so, I like, okay, so you're shaking your head. Why. Um? I got caught up in a relationship where I was really close to getting out and then things started happening to her like in her family, and I just couldn't leave her. I couldn't. I couldn't leave her in a bad spot. But at the same time, it was hard because you know, you're trying not to you know, you're trying not to do anything wrong. You don't want to do the cheating thing,

you know. And I changed my a lot of my views on relationships after that into more of a like open and like a conversational about how monogamy works and whether or not we're going to do it at all. I always started entering into relationships like that afterwards. But I was basically like, you can't be that dude. You can't like just abandon someone when they really desperately needs you.

You know what I'm saying. In this person's case, I would say, the big thing that's missing is the communication side of it, Like if she can communicate what her needs are and get that information back or at least where he can meet her, and what's going on with him, why he's not responding to her sexually. Sounds like old boy. Probably, Yeah, that's from the beginning. If you at all that accusatory and they are you cheating on the space, it's probably

coming from a space that he's not secure about. On that same side, So he's already doing some ship that he probably shouldn't have been doing. Wait, so if a man is constantly accusing a woman of possibly stepping out or saying that, you know, I feel like you're doing X, Y and Z on the side, is it a kind of self inflicted like guilt that like everything that they know that they're doing something wrong, it reminds you. So, you know how like if you're thinking about buying a car,

you see that car all the time. Something's put in your mind, right, so you think about all those moments when you snuck off and got a little pussy, you know, all those times when you made in your day to go do something. So you're like, damn, how do I know she's really at the store Because I wasn't at the store, right, you know she's right now. I don't like even I'm telling myself of this on Patreon only a little bits of people like I made a whole I made a whole snapchat, like in my bed alone

going to bed. Oh nigga was on his way and so like no, it realized, so like I've been that person too, or like I've been right beside a nigga whose FaceTime is bitch like, yeah, man, I'm about to go to sleep and he's been in bed and I've been quiet laying right next to him. Okay, what you're doing? Just yeah, that sh it kills me. But you don't know, you don't know, like you don't know you but you don't know do that for you? Since we have this show? No,

not since we've had the show. But no, no, no, no, actually I'm not even know what no, what what the nigga that I'm thinking of being in a polygamous relationship with.

I had to work the next day, so I fell asleep and yeah, he was talking to So he has a wife and a girlfriend and I'm now they do yes and no no, no, no, no, no no. It was it was a situation where, um, so he's been married for quite some time, but he's had a girlfriend for a while and loves her, and he finally felt the need to come out to his wife and say, hey, I love this girl. She's not going anywhere. This is my girlfriend. And the wife didn't leave the house for

a couple of months. She just came back and she's now accepting of it, and so like she also knows about me and like he's like, I'm polygamous. This is my thing, Like this is me and she's give. So he's married. He's married, but he has he has wife, he has a girlfriend. Well, in the United States of America is just not possible. You can't marry multiple people. So he's an relationship with this wife that's who he's legally bonded to. The girlfriend is like the women that

he's with cannot be with anyone. But he also provides for all of them. So the girlfriend, he pays for the house, he pays for her business, he pays for her schooling, he has her a car, he takes care of her. And so even that's kind of the thing with me, Like so we're talking and he's like, just so you know, like you can't funk know other niggas. But he's like, just no, you also will go you won't go without like I take care of my women. So it's like one of those things where yeah, it's

a power struggle thing. I'm sure it is like for him, but I mean he also feels like if he's providing for everyone and he's dicking it down, which he does dick down, He's just like, I don't want you being around another man. I don't want you to have another man.