Ep106: When Negative is a Good Thing Feat Janelle & Omo

shipping on your entire order. So go to Adam and Eve dot com and use code w D five zero at checkout. That is w D five zero. That is w D the number five and the number zero at Adam and Eve dot com. Don't forget to use our code and let's get on with the show. Hi, Hi, I can do it sometimes, Horrible Decisions. My name is Wheezy and it's your girl Mandy. A K A bit. That's all I'm gonna for now, because y'all, motherfucker's we're actually gonna talk about it for the kick of the week.

I'm so sick of Like even when I posted the guy that everyone apparently just keeps bringing up, everyone is assuming that now every guy I deal with I PEG and I'm like, what, but that's not the case. I mean, it's on your own fault. But I mean I like to do it. I'm into it. So for the kick of the week is going to be very interesting how we're gonna talk about that. I want to see a little preface. Um, I'm sure you know from the title what we're gonna talk about in this episode. And I

want to apologize for the previous episode we had. We brought someone on that had HIV, and honestly, I think that, Um, I can only speak for myself. Sometimes I don't really consider the reach of our podcast and like how wrong

Google can be and I know how dumb that is. Now, So the two ladies that are sitting in front of us, um are you know, came with a bunch of papers, and it makes me feel like I think we expected him to have a lot of answers, which and that was the thing too, so for him, he was born with i V. So I feel like that it also delved into kind of a different experience from someone who may have lived I don't want to say a normal life,

but maybe a life without the disease. And then and then became infected infective, so like he just knew how to I guess take care of it. Right He's like okay, and he's like my mama had Like you know, it was it was definitely that it's normalized because you know, it is something that is normal. You know, like you if you are infective with HIV, you can live a

normal life. Um. But like you know, him not knowing the more clinical sides of things right well, And I think that was even my interest in interviewing him because I didn't with a sex positive podcast, Like I didn't want to, you know, maybe have so much of an episode where it's like, yeah, if you have sex, you're gonna catch HIV and die and then AIDS and whatever like so I didn't even want to have that kind of relationship. So anyways, we're sitting here talking guys. We

are joined today with two special guests. Um, we have Janelle and Olmo tail boom almost Tyle. We have almost like bitch, I got this. Um we're gonna call her omo, but we got Amo Janelle Ohm are you Homo? Yeah? I mean Omo, are you Homo? Because she was talking about a girl was queer that would be Twitter name that you can find me on Twitter. Pres momobile. Yeah gotta we gotta your name girl, um and so, I

guess go ahead and introduce yourselves to our audience. I'm Janelle A k A. I'm going half of the Nigeria Nightmares. We call each other. That's what everyone That's what everyone knows each other as well. That's what everyone knows us at um as at work. Okay, where you got? Were you born in Nigeria? No, I'm an half again, she's she's full of mettri you Africa. Yeah, I love that now that I spent in that too. But I everywhere Now, I'm like just said, you know, I've never been there,

but I am okay, you're I've been there. It was interesting I heard that, yes, um so I say, um like parting on Victoria Island the Lucky Chevy um and Yeah, it was an interesting experience. None, I'll say the least. I mean, I'm hoping that maybe over the years they do maybe allow more people to experience it. Basically, it's one of those countries where you do have to be invited. So because I traveled so much, I wanted some sort of tourist fill or maybe to see if we can go, like,

let's do a tour, bitch. No they like everyone says go to Ghana first, to go to South Africa. Then yeah, so I did. I did. So you have to go if you like, know someone that has family, Like I really want to go with my friends and have like a crazy legas like turn up experience. Um, but I'm only gonna be able to do that because you know, I have a family, because you have a family that lived there. So yeah, so I'm excited. Um, what do

you guys do? I guess go ahead and let our let our audience know what you guys doing while y'all are you okay? So, um, we're both we both work for the Ryan Health Network. UM. I work at the Lower east Side location and yeah, yes we're on UM it's an alphabet city. Were on East Third in between Avenue C and D and UM. Our titles like we're sexual health educators. So we do HIV testing in like

at the center and also in the community. Like there's a huge mobile van that I have to drive in the summer, like we can test all ye and the so the ones that are just like parked on the streets and you walk in and get sold. Yeah, we'll go to west Forth or Um. We're eld s Tompkins Square Park. Have you ever been tested in the I have. They used to also bring them to our school. But I'm from Florida, but not testing really No, they've done well. I mean I say band goes to like Queen's College.

Yeah they yeah, I know the yeah so also as well. Yeah, I did it at a music festival once, like so funny story. When I did it, the friends that I were with like, bitch, if you have it, it's you, we gonna stay here, right. We tried to get us to go to afrop so we could already be in Africa trying to make a word. Right. Let me see when I did it? Right. So I'm waiting for the results like ten minutes and the guy next to me

keeps talking like, yeah, so you're from Florida. That's great like where I'm like sure, I mean yeah, like that twenty minutes is like it could be really right. It's scary. Is like you literally sit there and think of all types of like people that everyone's always asking how do you read the test and to see and there their lines and I'm like I'm not telling you how to read the test because I don't want you to like

freak out it's bad. And then when I got off the bus and was confirmed and I have HIV, I carried that paper around and was like, fucking rap, right, what's up? You got yours? Right? I was people taking pictures of their results after like sending him to social media.

That's what instagram on Instagram. I'm cleared. I mean yeah, because we give letters, because it's like, yeah, your partner for receipts, because anyone could just say, like, oh, I want to talk about UM, I want to make sure you remind me for later, like the conversation when you do have it in a you're in a mobile band.

You gotta wait girls. I like that question. So we're gonna go ahead and start off kind of like how we did our episode UM with the individual who did have HIV, and this was, oh my god, what episode twenty six it was. It was a while back. It was in the in the short beginning of Horrible Decisions. So I wanted to maybe start off this would be

our icebreaker for this episode. I wanted to kind of debunk some of the myths associated with HIV, and one that I find to be probably the most interesting, which is why I always think I could catch it. I used to think, damn, I swallow come ye, so I had swallow it. No, and then apparently you can't catch it.

So what he said, what he said was correct that like, um, that your stomach acids and the enzymes in there do like get rid of the virus, so it's hard to you're not gonna get it once it's in your digestive system. But it is true that like if you have a cut in your mouth and you swallow, seeming there is a possible chance that you can't, but like you said on the show, like it's like really rare, like one in one in ten thou So I mean there's a there's a chance, but it's not like super likely, Okay,

So that's that's good to know. It's not considered high risk. And I hate um talking about different types of sex in terms of risk because I think that that kind of adds a stigma to certain types of sex. You know, like you know a lot of people it's easy to get HIV through anal sex, so there's anal tears. So that's why I appreciate it with gay and associate a lot of us women. I mean, we the only like the tip, but it's so anal sex. It's nothing like I would love more dick. I just can't even with

a lot of loop dude. I'm like, it's a different way around with a tail out your ask, don't you. But they're tell those like there's a horse when they're slimmer, I can take it with the girth of like a real dick. I can't. I could do the plugs. I could do the little things, maybe a smaller dick naked, but like a skinny pencil dick. Maybe not a pencil dick pencil. They look like a vibrator, they really do. Oh you don't do those little ones? Yeah, like the

ones that started like a triangle. And I can't. I can't believe you bought Angela but plugs for her birthday. Why would I? That's brand I mean cutter a vibrator. Yeah, oh, I guess I'm from Horrible Decisions. You have a podcast called lip service. I can't get you butt plug. I bought her the four gift card. Well that was classy. I mean, yeah, A don't ask what wear makeup? Some of those beauty blenders look like plugs. They do a lot of the duty blunders look like they fucking do.

I love the shape of the beauty blender and every time I look at it, because I have a lot of cute ones, my friend sends them to me and I'm like, cute plugs. I can't and do you want to ugly but plug? I don't be butt plugging unless it's with a dick. Well, then they don't plug my dick. Shut up. So another one of the myths that I wanted to talk about, especially coming from Florida and us

having a whole bunch of goddamn bugs. Um I did at one point used to think that if a mosquito bit someone with HIV and then came and bait me not shortly long after, that maybe there could be some sort of transmission of the virus that way. That is also a myth. Correct, that's a myth. That's not true because HIV needs to it's a whole cell to live in to survive, so like it can only survive in c D four s. House are like the human cell.

So like, you know, even if a mosquito bites you, even if if they get the animals can't contract they can't get HIV, so, like there are different types of immuno deficiency viruses that other animals can get, Like there's s I V f I V, which is feline cats, Like you know animalst can get s T I S. I don't know why, like last week I decided to google that. But wait, wait, there's sexually transmitted diseases for animals, which brought that up on the evolution episodes we've been

talking about. I don't know what I would say. I want to ask both of you what is one of the myths that you hear the most often and what is the answer to it? Like, what is what is one of the things that you hear the most regarding HIV? UM? Right off the top, UM, there's a shelter across the street from our health center, women shelter and UM, so obviously it's a lot of women living in in a

general space. And then a lot of them are worried that, Um, if someone has period blood on the toilet and they sit on it, are they going to get HIV? I don't know, Like I've heard a lot, Okay, but that's false, Like you're not going to be able to contract from that way? Because also by that point it's it's airborne, so it's hit the air and like it's like getting pregnant, right,

what do you mean? They're basically saying, like you can, because in order for to survive, it needs to be inside of a south which is the same like when girls like the turkey based thing is a is a myth, right, like you can turkey base, But I'm saying turkey basing is a total fucking thing that people do once they collect the sperm, right, and you can do it with

your partner if you're lesbian or whatever. What I'm talking about is men thinking like you throw your fucking condom in the trash can, and like a girl's gonna like save it and try to pregnant later. So that's what I was referring to, was theaing out of the condom. I mean, if it's already terribly if you get the condom as soon as then put it into the trash and you freeze that. So so say, I guess that's where I would have that same question with HIV. Is

there a time frame? If you're telling me there's a time frame with sperm and I'm thinking it's the same airborne rules. Is there a time frame where technically you could by the period wood if you said on the seat and you had to open sort like, I know, there's a whole lot that goes into it. It can just touch you on your skin and then now you right, you need to have an open on your butt or whatever, you know what I mean. Like, there's just so many

factors that's just not something that I would be concerned about. Okay. And then what's one of the myths that you hear the most? I mean, I think I don't think I hear like a lot of myths about HIV itself. Besides you know the regulars like oh you can get it from kissing or saliva or whatever, which is false. You can't get it that way. But I think one of the biggestness that I encounter when I test people is at you know, I always ask, oh, like, um, do

you want to get an HIV test today? And a woman you know, in her fifties will be like, oh, no, baby, I don't need one of those. And I'm like, why do you think that you need one? And she's like, oh, well, you know, I've been married for such and such so many years and It's like the number of patients that I have who are women who have gotten infected by their partners who you know didn't know that they've been infected for years because you know, they never thought to

get tested. It's like, you know, you you don't know, and every's everyone's responsibility to be getting tested regularly at least once a year for being tested. So, um, if you're in a monogamous relationship, try like you need to at least go once and truly monogamous because you know, sometimes you're where we go one way monogamous but you

don't know what your partner is doing. But ideally, just um, like definitely go once a year and then if you can go twice a year, and then if you have multiple partners, try to go every three months and years with out like getting tested and not knowing you have it. Like I guess where I'm kind of confused is like you know, we assume the second you get it and you find out you have it, you've got to jump on this and take care of it. I mean, yeah, how could it be years? Like how does it live

in your body? What kind of effects doesn't have while you're not getting treated for years so I mean, okay, So in the first two weeks, so like the first ten to fourteen days after you've been infected with HIV, so the virus enters your body, a lot of people experience symptoms of what's known as acute HIV. So that's

the time when the acute try. Right, So the HIV virus is multiplying, dividing in your body, um, and you're starting to have a lot of like immunological symptoms, so like you know, you might have inflammation, and a lot of people describe these symptoms as like flu, Like so you know you're gonna you know the symptoms of the flu. You don't and we in one a time A bitch

got signed every time. My goddamn. But this is why it's actually a really good reason to bring it up now, because like because right it is the wintertime, a lot of people are getting the flute and they might have these symptoms and think, oh, well, it's nothing, but it's like if you have these symptoms and ten to fourteen days ago you had unprotected sex with someone whose status you don't know it, and we're not gonna go get

We're not trying to scare anyone, So I need to gain. Sorry, so this is um, I guess this is gonna go ahead and segue us into ar Vanilla ship. If you're listening UM to this episode. One of the reasons why I definitely chose to do this hit up Janelle even though Janelle but hanns eight t y'all and she saw me and do say pelluts. It was like, Hi, ma up email and I knew that may you I'm drunk. I'm like, yeah, well, I know she didn't think I was going I'll say girl, yeah, d n me girl,

I'm gonna bring you all. Yeah. You know some people crazy no, yeah, but she because y'all came at least with a nice email. Your email is very professional. And I was like, oh, yeah, well you be like, yo, I got songs about sex. You're gonna have me on to their own ship and be like hello Cloud Like hey, I didn't know, No, we're not. That's my response. Sorry. Um so yeah, so Joannelle saw me at say Flues and I was like, girl, We're gonna bring you on.

But one of the reasons why I definitely wanted to have this UM I guess conversation. As you guys know, I probably spent the last month, UM every weekend in Atlanta, UM for and I also used to live there, and so there is now the CDC has went ahead and

put that Atlanta is now in an HIV epidemic. Um as far as they are now actually comparing Atlanta to third world countries, I didn't want to go ahead and say I put here it says that downtown Atlanta is as bad as Zimbabwe or Harrera or Durban, said Dr Carlos del Rio Court, director of Emery University Center for AIDS Research. Another thing that I also saw was a recent study released by the CDC shows that wife shows

why funding is still critical. If you live in the southeast, you're more likely to be diagnosed with HIV than any other part of the country, and in Georgia the risk of diagnosis leaps to one in fifty one UM. And so I definitely wanted to bring this to the forefront because Atlanta is a city I hold so dear in my heart and I do be fucking when I be in town. So I guess I'll stay home. Yeah, yeah, so we we We do have again our live show

on February in Atlanta. But it's crazy to me make out and you can have sex with a condom on yeah, which I ain't worried about it. I ain't really work third world country in Atlanta. Yeah, that's that's that's a lot. So I kind of wanted to to bring this to you guys. You guys do a lot out of um. Y'all have paperwork. God damn. So stats are on. So can we go ahead and maybe delve into the epidemic that's happening in Atlanta, specifically in the African American community.

And I do want to also focus that this is not only men ladies. This has it's it's not gender specific. This is for men and women. Of course, men um do hold a higher risk because like we mentioned earlier with the anal sex um. But like I do want to share with you guys. Unfortunately, and and I hate to discuss it, but there is a large download community in Atlanta, which is why women now face these same risks because the men that you are dealing with may or may not be open to letting you know that

they have partners that are of the same sex. So if you guys, can I mean, if we say that, then that's just kind of saying like all the gays are having it in Atlanta. I know that, but that's not definitely stick mu right, because that's why I said it. I just feel like it's always so victim blame me by like you know what I mean. I just I think that That's why I worded it the way I did.

I thought I did a fine job with Unfortunately, we do have men that are open to letting us know that they deal with other men, because unfortunately we shame them for it. But like I was telling um Olmo in the in the lobby, prep was something that I was considering at one point because I do deal with men who have openly admitted that they have experimented or dealt with other men. And so to me, it's not victim blame me at all, but me and and those

men have had those type of conversations as well. So if we can delve into maybe some of the stats in Atlanta that you know, or what's going on in Atlanta as to why this epidemic is happening, I mean, so like as you said, like it's disproportionately affecting communities of color. Um, so you know, black and brown people's but you know, in Atlanta specifically, it's obviously more African

American UM. And you know when you think when you think about the age to be epidemic and how it works in the country, you know, it impacts people based on race and socio economic status because then you can't have access to healthcare. UM. But then things like you mentioned, like homophobia and like stigma also are associated with that because people you know, who might be gay or queer questioning like might be like, oh, well, I shouldn't get tested.

You know, there's so much fear about getting tested in general. UM. And then you know when speaking about like the types of sex that UM have carry a greater risk that I say in quotation marks um. Uh. You know, there's so much stigma associated with anal sex UM because of the fact that the risk of you know, spreading HIV

is higher UM. But in general, like, yeah, obviously there is a huge epidemic in Atlanta, but that epidemic mirrors so many other parts in the world, UM, and so many parts in this country where people don't have access to healthcare. So you know, there was a huge epidemic in d C as well, UM. And you know in New York there there is an HIV epidemic here. You know, the rate of new infections were rising UM and now

they're going down because of so many interventions. And that's part of like GEL and I do, because New York City has a three point plan to end the epidemic in UM. So the three parts are the first one is to get tested because obviously you need to know

your status. If you're positive, then you can be linked to services so that you're not spreading it to other people, and you're taking anti retroviral medications so that you eventually get down to an undetectable level and undetectable UM referring to your viral load. So once you're in there's also something now on the CDC, I believe in seventeen but UM they came up with you equals you, which means undetectable viral load equals untransmittable. So you want UM you're

likelihood of passing it onto somebody else. It's right, which is why it's really important for people when they do find out that they have HIV two immediate get linked to care to start taking their intiretroviral medications because when they're taking medication, they're keeping themselves healthy. UM, and if you have an undetectable viral, then you can't pass it on to other people. That's why it's even for people that are undetectable. Yeah, it's like once you're if you're

HIV positive, you're always going to be on medication. And then the third part of the three point plan is PREP, so all the people who are HIV negative take PREP. Or if you're in a relationship with someone who's positive, which is called scientific term is serial discordant, but you

can just say magnetic couple like one positive. So if you guys are in a magnetic couple, UM, then the person who's negative should be on PREP so that they're not going to contracted from their partner, and the person who is positive, they're hopefully they're taking their medications in there. And again that was something that we weren't able to really touch on much in our previous HIV episode because he was born with the virus, so PREP would not

have helped him UM. And so I do want to delve into that into the horrible decision, especially considering UM. I've read articles where they're trying to issue it in the a u C in Atlanta. So the CDC actually suggested, um, the Atlanta University more Clark UM. And so basically they're suggesting the CDC is suggesting that the youth start just

taking prep like we take vitamins basically. UM in So like sorry, I kind of like skipped around Atlanta and I just wanted to get back to, you know, those that to look, I was saying, like it disproportionately affects like people of color. So it's like seventy three of new infections are black people. UM of new infections are

men um you know, UM. And the majority it's like sevent of new infections occur within the ages of twenty and forty, so you know, it's like young people who are becoming infected, which is why I understand why you know, AUC would want to give it out to college like

their vitamins. It is absolutely and then I also read as well, UM, while she's the owing those stats around, I think it's important to remember as well that African Americans make up only twelve percent of the US UM and something that I read is that of HIV cases are African Americans. UM. So to know that is is pretty staggering and unfortunate. UM, we're gonna delve more further into HIV prep um some of the dope questions that

that Wheezy has as well. But I kind of wanted to get into, you know, our kink of the week. So for the kink this week, I didn't really want to pick an actual kink. Um. I think it's important that as we do Kinks of the week money this is probably above episode a hundred or it's somewhere in the nineties. We're fucking almost over a hundred episodes at this point. But um, I wanted to discuss the difference

between a kink and a fetish. So I think we talked about kinks a lot, and again, I guess I wanted to look look into this because um, I refer to me enjoying pegging as more of a kink that I enjoy part taking in. So I wanted to let you guys know the difference, UM real quick. A kink turns us on or or is considered outside of the predetermined norm for those of you who may have fetishes. Fetishes are more soda where you don't want to engage in sex without having this. Of course, it also pertasts

the fantasies and things like that. But yeah, so foot fetishes people like like they so the feed. So this is how that is how, this is how they how they break it down. Kinks are like salt. They simply add to the flavor. Fetishes are like the food itself. Without them, there is no meal. So there's a way to look. So there are people who have kinks. I think, I think there's kinks where you know what, I don't know.

I think you could have a lot of fetishes. Well, you can have multiple fetishes, I mean, but for someone you will you would want to So then I think I think a better way to maybe word that how I've always thought of fetishes as something longer lasting than it is just one type of thing, like because kink to me is just one piece of the puzzle that you could try or something just like I don't know,

maybe like just calling it something. But a fetish is something that you have ownership to, like it's your thing, part of your identity that like, I have a fetish for D S M. Right, that's like that's my jam. I would eat it. I would become a fetish. But you're you also, would you say, for the most part,

you're always in some sort of the fashion. B D s M, of course is a wide range, but your sub for the most part, even without trying to be you're in a sub state when you're having sex, so even though you're not going through the whole, probably yeah, I t seven out of ten times. Yeah, so like with me, I brought this up of course because of course, Yeah,

Peggy Bundy Ya gave me some great fame. I will say, pegasaurus rex like I didn't hurt it all, um, but no, seriously, like I've had some great but for Peggy, I will say, even when it comes to my partners, I don't peg everyone.

It's not needed. I will say when I may. You ask every when I'm vetting, I will say I do Like, Um, I would say, b D s M is also probably my fetish, but I'm more on the dominant side, and to me, having access to a man's but makes me feel fucking in control and dominant as probably violating as well. But yeah, so like, but do I have to peg every partner that I have? No, Like I've been sucking for five years, never ever have pegged. It's so funny

you're describing pegging this way. I just want to I went on inter Ho Uprising, and they wanted to talk to me about pegging, and I did not describe it in a dominating way at all. To me, it's very I was having a conversation with someone about that. They were like, well, I feel like I would never want to peg someone because I like to be submissive, And I was like, have you ever had sex? So like, here's the thing, Like, that's what I'm saying someone and

I did have, you could have someone. I did have a nigga ride me and that was but I also felt like it was me giving him a different type of Like to me, pegging is in the highest sense a dominant So here's why I think that sometimes there's a catch twenty two with this because for me, I'm a submissive person that enjoys giving people pleasure no matter how they enjoy it. Right, we do sit here and say that, you know. So the issue that men have

with pegging is giving up their masculinity, right. They think their masculinity is in their assholes. So the problem with always describing it as like fucking the ship out of somebody in their ass being like dominating is that then

men who are dominant won't be interested. So for my experiences with pegging, it's never really been like bent over ship like it's always started for me, Like the first few years, I never really even knew the term until I watched Broad City was using toys like in their ass, but never bent. So once I actually had a strap on on for my first time, it still wasn't bent like were you on? It was like missionary. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

that's what I'm saying. That doesn't feel well, that's probably why to me, like I prefer get on all four. So he was like to see them bets in those type of and those type of positions, I would say is probably again that goes to my dominant side. But dominance BDSMB being bent over one person has control, yeah, and so that's kind of power bottom, power bottom. I feel like when he was writing he became a power bottom right though he was on top, but then he

had control right back right, what's the bottom? The bottom is just the term we get right type is someone that's giving the dick inserted versus receptive. Right there you go, So like if I like them to just look at you bring it, we'd be like taking it receiving. You hear about power bottoms. It's normally someone that quote unquote throws it back, right, I'll be asking why writing like back definitely a power bottom, even when like during Missionary,

I think I'm always like still sucking someone back. But how are you submissive and a power bottom? So I definitely can switch, right, Okay, But I think that power bottom for me is just not necessarily a dominant side because I know how to suck somebody back. I still like you could basically talk to me and make me fuck you back, you know what I mean. It's crazy to me because again I feel like even the fucking

back I feel like plays back into my dominance. Like like like I say I'm a power bottom, I mean like I'm the dominant seven is very dominant in bed, he fucking fu the goddamn shit out of me. Literally, it don't be messy. Let me not say literally, but because all of that, right, but the dominance in me, like while he's fucking me very very hard, is me taking the dick and I sit here and pride myself and being able to take it all like that again

is my dominance part of it. Like, so even when I do say I'm a switch, I feel like thinking of it that way, I feel like at all times I like to feel like I'm in control, So me taking the dick is me being in control, even if he feels like he's more in control. Power bottom for me is just no one I could suck back because I don't like that, especially like having a lot of three stilms, or like fucking girls, even whether it be toys or straps. Like I've seen women that don't fuck back,

you know, they're kind of like y'all have time. I'm a fellow princess, don't drunk. I'm only fellow princess when I really don't want to fuck you like that. And then I don't know why I'm sucking you in real life, Like what am I doing? But I don't want to come? But it's not you. It's not like I didn't It's

not like I'm forced into fucking this dude. It's just like I just need to get off, Like sometimes you want to have sex, but you're thinking about somebody else that all the time, because you know, how do you know how awful it is to sit here and nigga and then as soon as y'all are done fucking you, texting the nigga that you wish it was fucky done, and I'd be like, is that not terrible? Look Like recently I was talking about scissors, but he was into it.

Like I was like, damn, I wish I was easy busy right now he was like word and he was it was he was like getting off at the ship. But that's a girl like I'm talking about me fucking a dick wanting another dick. Like that's a good point. I guess I wanted like, you know, the side of mash and I didn't want the whole new steak. There

you go, That's exactly what it was. That's exactly what well I wanted to again to bring that up, I think we've had kink of the week since we started this show, and I think it was very interesting when I saw that there is a difference between kink and fetish um and again, so I want you all to know that Peggy is my kink. I don't need it, but you know it's cool if I could get it. Um. So now we're gonna go ahead and get into our

whole decision. This is where I guess you can maybe even we can delve back into I guess I want to focus on prep for this, but also the testing that goes on, how you respond when you do get a positive result and we all your thing. But I find that like the most interesting thing for me when learning about, you know, new STDs and like how people deal with them, because I've been fortunate enough to where

I've had partners. Luckily I've never you know, had it happened where I've had it too, but I've had a partners, I've had sex with text maybe like I found out I got this or whatever. But I do want to know when you know you're doing the mobile bus ship and someone has it, and how often does someone have it?

Like do you feel like you're doing like five out of a hundred, Like you feel like every hour you're telling someone they have HIV only because we hear the word epidemic and you know what I'm saying, I feel like it sound like hear that word work um for three year. We started off as interns and then that

led to us working. We've we've been around this and in my time, I feel like I've had four but honestly they were all So how any that you've done that's a really five hundred thousand probably not not definitely, not a thousand, but hundreds of only four. I just had someone and I hate, like I hate doing testing. Um, it just just because the PaperWorks. Not a hundreds and

only four people. That's like less than one percent, right, But also, I mean, I think, so, how does the probability with that number that you just gave as someone that works there, especially in a neighborhood like a alphabet city. So I'm on the Upper West Side, so we have six locations and Janell's and the Lower Eastide I'm on. You notice the difference with a certain neighborhoods Um, definitely. I mean we also have a Brooklyn the Bronx, and

then we have a site in um Chelsea. So then for the prep patients there there primarily it's white gay men. But for me, pretty much all of my patients are people of color. So I mean, yeah, it's definitely there, there's different demographics. But I've only had one positive person. Like even though I say that I've been um working as an intern for about like three or four years here, I just started this position as a tester for about

like a year and a half. Weld that we could have got we would have canceled this whole show, I'm telling you right now, made everybody in the engineer these bitches. No offense, everybody. No, it's confidential. So like we're not allowed to tell you know, anyone year you're we would have done it right here on air. Then we should have did that. That would have been cool. That would have been cool. Damn, I didn't even think of that time.

It hurts. Okay, So how how was that experience? You sat here and you got someone who tested positive HIV? What was how did you tell them? Okay? So what the fact that we want to be negative normally positive is a good thing in life. So I think it's weird that it's it's looking for a result and it's there,

it's a positive. Let's see. That's I think part of it too, that like, um, New York City has started to do this thing where it's called status neutral care and like we don't care if you're positive or if you're negative. You know, like either result is a is a good result because you know, if you're positive, then you know, okay, I got to take this medication. Gonna say it is too And I like that because you

know it's not a death sentence. And you know, HIV has gotten to the point where it's kind of like any other chronic health condition, diabetes, healthcare, people who are health care, heart disease. Sorry, people who have HIV link are living long, long lives, and they're dying of other things like cancer not related to their HIV or you

you know, related to their obesity. Every day. It's everyday thing that if you're taking this vitamin, but it's you know, your medication, your life saving medication, then you are living a normal, normal life. Okay, so let's let's get back to this story to hear that I have a really interesting story. Okay, So, first off, it was during I do a lot of testing on the weekends, and we were at a church in the Bronx so it was mostly so mostly everyone there spoke Spanish and they were undocumented,

and um so I went with my coworker. She speaks fluent Spanish. I could get around, like so I just printed out all of the questions Spanish, like I know enough them, like so, um I want but I wanted to practice because oh this one is she knows I know a little bit. But um so I just wrote out all the questions in Spanish, so um, my coworking.

These are people who typically don't go UM to their not getting regular healthcare services, um, because they don't have insurance because they're documented, so it's really important for them to come to this event. So we were I think we must have tested like ten eleven people each that day. So and we're doing back to back to back, like barely got breaks. And it's like I don't I don't mind it because I'm like, I want to do this, like I know I'm helping prick always fingerprick. So um,

so this is like my last patient. We're about to be done for the day. They made us food like I was looking forward to the food, like I was hungry. Now. It was a lot, and it was funny because the people they were trying to learn English and I was trying to practice my Spanish, but we were getting through it. And so I love that show. So this is my last patient. And and then I saw that her test came up positive. She was married. I think she was

from She was Mexican, she had two kids. Everyone was there, so I had the wife and my coworker had the husband and the kids are just waiting in a little common area, and so I see a positive I see I see the line because we're able to tell if you're positive because you can see, um like a line,

another line will show up. I kind of wish we brought test but anyways, okay, we don't want to hear you to educated so that they would be like, you know, yeah, um So anyway, so I see that she has a positive testers on and I'm like, you know, based on the questions and what she's saying, she's been married. They you know, some most married people are not using condoms.

But she didn't say she had any other partners, so I'm like, so then, I mean, I'm also starting to freak out because I don't know Spanish that well, and so we have a language barrier, and I'm just like, how do you tell someone that they have This happened to me the other day, But like the lady spoke not Spaient creole, Asian creole. So I was like, I

don't know what to say. We have like language hotline, so it's not like we're just you tell me, you do a test for someone, you gotta be like, I want to talk to them they because I've done that before. You google translate results yes, yeah, and and join the encounter like asking how many people did you have sex with that type? You let them read it on your phone and then I pressed saying that says it and

I'm just kidding. I mean I've had to do that like in the center, and then I just type it like some stuff like because I can get by to how many people live with you? And like the questions that they asked some of them, but for the ones I didn't know, I just typed it and we got through it. So anyway, so, um, so her test results positive, and I'm starting to freak out because I'm like, I'm

not gonna tell her obviously her first positive. Yeah, this is my first one also, So I went to go get my coworker and then she looked at me because she's like, Um, the husband's positive too. So we were like, so what did the husband say? Like I didn't. I didn't really even see him or his reaction. But it turns out so, um, the wife contracted it from the husband, and um just that he I think, oh she told she ended up telling us, but I'll get into that.

So she, um, she contracted from her husband, and um, this brings up a bigger issue if they were both undocumented, so they probably didn't receive proper healthcare and proper education about the disease. So I don't for some reason the wife thought that UM, even though she knew she was positive, for some reason, she was just trying to test to see if they're gonna come up positive. I'm taking my medication. Are you going to be able to tell UM from that that she knew she was positive and she was.

Did you guys test the kids? No? We did. We didn't test the kids. Um. UM, Now would you suggest if someone has HIV and there living with kids, like you're not you know what I mean, Like it's not a sexual relationship at that point, your kids be taking medicine. How did that work? I think UM roommates. If the mother was not tested before having having the child, UM, then for sure I would test those kids. And since they're undocumented, we're not really sure like what type of

health could they were receiving. I would probably suggest that those kids be tested. But in the in the US, like UM, all pregnant women receiving HIV tests, like you know, that's like just part of the standard care. But it's even it's even it's I want to dove into this because it's not only with pregnant women, but a lot of times UM, any woman who's undergoing any type of surgery.

So I had a weight loss surgery, and because UM HIV does affect the white blood cell count, UM, they want to They tested me for just about everything because that would dictate how I healed after surgery. So if any woman, whether you're getting like your tonsils, like maybe not tonsils removed, but any any type of UM surgery where you're going to be hospitalized or put under anesthesia, or where they're cutting into of course is very UM important. You'll be tested for HIV in the in the hospitals.

What are the ways you can get HIV? That isn't sex? Okay, So yeah, I wanted to get into that too, because there's six different fluids from which you So it's breast milk, blood, semen pre come so they call it seminal fluid, and then pre seminal fluid, vaginal um fluid, and rectal fluid. Aren't sex though, okay, So that aren't sex, would be breast milk mother to child transmission UM. Also like when the mother is having the baby like that that blood.

There's a lot of blood going on there. That's another way that the mother can transmit it to the child, which is what doesn't surprise me, because I don't know if you'll be drinking milk which there's pus and blood. Yeah, milk, I've watched my friend that should is disgusting. I mean, it's not disgusting. Thank god, we're like us. We're the only mammals that drink other mammals milk. Yeah, it's disgusting.

Not milk, even my ice creamy be like toasts. I stopped drinking regular milk, but same, I thought I meant like breast milk, like just watching it like come out and ship like that. So I guess it's what you were I guess were asking would be So I know that the h of the epidemic in New York happened specifically in the eighties because of the drug epidemic that happened. So of course, needle dirty needles, So that's maybe the tattoo that we brought up, like if you get tatted

with dirty needles that were used on sharing. So I want to ask that would that not be airborne? Would it not be able to get off of the needle, Like, how does that well, I know with um in terms of like syringes, if you're that's that's how a lot of people were. OK. Yeah, so then that's why there's a lot of needle exchange programs and people can go

exchange their dirty needles called works. And I heard some cool things about Market Street in San franci I was born in San France and then to go just like kind of revisits her family and like different places like where I grew up. And while I was there on Market Street right, this is where like Bloomingdale's is. It's like the most I don't know if you guys have

been like a bougie like neighborhood in San Francisco. Also where the most drugs are sold and done right, kind of like Atlanta where it's like one pretty block and then one shitty block. So New York to New York, I think New York, I don't think there's just really I've never seen like a gorgeous block where you can't see a homeless man, like I've never like I've been you know what I'm saying, Like I've never been to an area where I feel like this will just not happen.

But yeah, I mean in Queens far out. Maybe not on the island, but if you go to Queen's side, maybe hopeless people backed out. People could like project right across. There's projects across this block. Like no, lie, Like I was at a fucking ritz and it was like really like like I was shy. I've never seen something like this, not from zero to a hunt. It like turn the block and like I never saw someone shoot up in the street, multiple people shooting up like that really like

with Darring. So come to find out, I'm talking to someone at the bar there later that day at the hotel and he's like, yeah, Like the way it works is they have these safe zones where people can't get arrested. But the deal with the safe dome zones to stop the HIV epidemic is there are people to distribute safe needles. So they're basically so worried about the virus spreading that like cops can't come to you here, you can come

get your needles here. And yeah, I wonder if in l A So they have what is this, I don't want to call it death row. Yeah here we go, here I go. Its something like that, but all the homeless people where they also don't get in trouble for living in these tense in l A. I wonder if they do anything like that around there. I'm sure they do.

Needle exchange programs are like really, you know, a huge part of harm reduction UM and so like along with HIV, honestly um injection drug transmission, so like sharing needles HIV like of course it is a huge concern, But the bigger concern with that is actually hepsi UM that you know affects your liver and you know, once your liver is messed up zero take those shots in school, so you can get hepatitis A and B, but not C right, right, right, right, right,

we know we've got some shots can get from sucking, Yes you can, but it's actually it's more rare than HIV. Right, So HIV is easier to get through sex, and HEPSI is not as easy to get through sex. But then on the opposite end, HEPSI is very easy to transmit through like sharing needles, and HIV is a little less likely. Yeah, okay, I think, but they're like, you can be a lot of people are co infected, which means they have both um at the same time, and that causes a lot

of complications with you know, just like the body. And we do have a I mean people, I feel fucked up after this. No, no, no, you guys are doing a great thing. But I'm getting sat We're going to turn it around. So U we got a song? No, No, take a family guy, Aids. Do you know what that is? No? What's the family guy? You want know? I want to put the clip in for the family guy. You've got

eight song? Like you remember that they were trying to find this nice way to tell a patient they had eights or something, and so they like did this whole song and dance and the guys like in the hospital like HIV. But blow Aids like that. I got a nick for delivering bad news. I don't know how to tell you this, Mr Davenny, so I'll let these guys

do it. You have a I hate to tell you, boy that you have a You got the You may you've caught it when you struck that filthy needle in here or maybe all the unprotected sex, but you it isn't clear. But but we're certain is you have a. Yes, you have a not HIV, but be sure that you see that this is not CHIV. Really, I'm sorry, I wish it was something less serious, but you've got, I

mean to find out that you have HIV. Like I said before, it could be a really good thing because then you can take care of yourself with the medication, which which is what I wanted to bring up. So I guess there's a lot of and this can tie in the end of it. So the difference between HIV and AIDS and HIV become AIDS and AIDS. Can you skip HIV and go straight to AIDS? How does that work? Because easy just got AIDS out of nowhere and died like two months later. But apparently that's a that's a

you know that was also like that time period. So having that, do you want to take this? Alverad? You want me to do this? Because they're both figuring out who won't break this down? Right? I mean we can take let's start with HIV, U B, HIV ub A. Can we not turn them into HIV and eight? Okay? Okay, was awful? What was it again? Okay? So HIV stands for human, which means it's only in humans. Immuno deficiency

which means it affects your immune system. Your immune system are all the cells that are kind of like little soldiers in your body to protect you from outside invaders like bacteria and viruses and you know, bad stuff pathogens, but right, and not that. And then virus which means that it's a virus, which means it needs to live inside of a cell in order to live. And so the cells that the HIV virus lives in are the c D four cells UM, which are a form of

T cell in your body. Got exactly, So human is the age. That's why the hum and with the virus, you will always have a virus. And so when back to that patient that I had, we had to explain to her you're always going to be positive. So it's herpies of virus yes, yes, okay yeah um. And then with AIDS, so that's acquired immuno deficiency syndrome. So that's it's basically like in if you want to think about it this way, like someone had HIV, they didn't they

weren't intervened, and they didn't receive anti retroviral. The virus kept making copies and it took over How long does that process take it takes like it takes about ten years for if you are untreated. Yeah, but but for

some people can take longer. But that's promising because that means that like you have some time if you don't get tested and okay, right, So it's why it's important to definitely get on medication exactly right, you get on like what are the probability of what is the probability of dying with you have AIDS? Um quick? I mean, because now your immune system is so compromised, and most people don't. You don't die of AIDS, you dive in AIDS related um exactly, or the flu a common cold,

so um. Once you have AIDS. So AIDS is sort of like a classification. It's a diagnosis, and once you get an AIDS diagnosis, you never lose that diagnosis, like

from your medical chart. Um. And so like the things that kind of classify you as having AIDS would be having like an aid's defining illness like car posy sarcoma, like different types of rare cancers, or just simply like if you're um, if your c D four count is less than two hundred, um that so that means that you don't have a lot of a lot of viral cell or so you don't have a lot of cells protecting you UM in your immune system. That was like, that'll be honest with you, Like I just got tested.

What had a fingerprick? Um a few weeks ago we recorded that episode. I just want to get it again. I'm scared right well, And that was actually one of my new have you had unprotected sex? Okay, world, if you you can ask us personal questions? But then I felt like weird. We did that a whole episode where were talked about our goddamn abortions and y'all see here and talking about can we ask Yeah, I haven't had unprotected sex since I haven't had underprospective sex in a while.

I have with a woman, but um, it's it's like, um, female to female transmission is very low and you'd be liking scissoring. But that's like and I mean bringing up women. So a lot of the times when people think of HIV, they're only thinking of men and men having sex with men typically, and women, especially Black women, are often left out of the conversation, which is how we sold a

fun part of our job. Let's light in the mood to talk about sipping and spilling so that I'm gonna die, You're not gonna sit been right, So that's what we UM. We took over now after UM have to shout her name out. Her name is Sechia Robin Sekia, but UM. She was also an intern with us and she wanted to start doing these events to UM to just empower black women to take control of their sexual health. And so then after when she finished her internship, we were asked to take it on and we just made it

more sex positive and more inclusive. You guys are testing there. We don't do testing there, but we're going we're looking into that for because you know we've had UM Hall at some of the events, it's like a wind down, like the wind down, So we make it a fun way to talk about sex and UM for our last right, for our last event, you guys can come to the next one if you want, UM. But for the last one we had UM Sam from Inner Hall Uprising. She

was our moderator, so UM. So then we had people submit questions like relationship questions, and then we just snuck a little prep and PEP and HIV testing related questions we had into with the okay, So PREP stands for pre exposure prophylaxis UM. That means it's a pill that you take before UM you come into contact with HIV. So it's something that you have to take every single day, UM, like around the same time every day. It's kind of

like birth control, but for HIV from Vinny UM. He's been on our show and he started taking PREP and he was like, Yo, my body, Like He's like, I just can't wait for to getting my system because it feels so weird this year. So yeah, I think it's like only people though really experience side effects. And the side effects are like nausea, vomiting, diarrhea. Some people said weight loss. I said, I wish. So here here's the thing that I wanted to ask pertaining to prep UM.

So going to Nigeria, I had to get the yellow fever vaccine. Everyone knows of the flu vaccine every um during around this time of year. And so to me, what I learned with vaccine is that what it actually does is it infects your body with with the virus so that your body can and fight the virus off, which is weirdest to me. It's kind of like UM, so it's kind of like, um, you know, I'm sure in the military and stuff, the soldiers they'd be doing like practice or whatever. It's kind of like that. So

they give you a little bit of virus. They don't and not all the time they give you the full virus. In a lot of cases they just give you like pieces of the virus chopped up, so your body can kind of seem like that's what it looks like. Doesn't do that, right, It doesn't do that. Not putting HIV into our body. PREP is not putting HTV into your body. PREP has two medications interested being into off of year.

These medications are they basically stop reverse trans I'm getting really medical, but basically it's just it's medication from dividing or it stops the virus from dividing. Now it has been around, I know, I heard about it, like I've just recently heard pre the last two years. So PREP was EFTY true vada as PREP was EFTY approved in two thousand and twelve. Um. But for that true vada in the medication itself was FDA approved and has been

around since like the two thousands. With well, now the commercials they try to trans Why is it because just advertised to men, and then they realized like, Okay, this isn't working, and also we need to have commercials. Is it stronger in men and not women? Like it's not. So basically, you know, a lot of municipalities New York, DC, Atlanta, they were saying, like, there's this huge HIV epidemic. It's affecting a lot of men, it's affecting a lot of

young men. It's affecting a lot of young black, black and brown men. And you know it's true now that like if current epidemic rates continue, that like one in the lifetime risk of HIV infection for young black men is one and two for Latino men who have is one in four. Yeah, for men, for men who have sex with men, I'm sorry, not not just like heterosexual men are all men, but it's for men who have sex with men, the lifetime risk of getting HIV is

one and two. That's really really scary, you know. And so they were looking at these statistics and they were like, well, we need to do something about it. And so they were trying to like, you know, pass out prep like

it's vitamins um. And I don't necessarily agree with that because you know, there's a long make sure that you want and there's a long history of you know, just take what do you mean Because with with PREP, you need to you you need to take a daily so you need to That's that's um what's called adherents like birth control. Yeah, it's only gonna work like birth control. We always say that, like this is like birth control.

It's only gonna work. But also like people who aren't adherent to PREP, if they're not taking enough of the medication and then they come to contact with the virus and they become infected, then the virus but they're still taking a little bit of true vada, but they're not taking like enough medication to UM like for treatment purposes. Then the virus can become smart and kind of get used to like true vada, and then it can become resistant to and like that, um so truvada. So tri vada.

The two medications in trivada bonds, so it's always it's like two hundred to three, Like I'll see that in But if you've been taking PREP for like two years, you don't need to pump it up. No, But like okay, so, but truvada in it of itself, which is the only medication that is ft approved for PREP purposes. Like PREP is just kind of like birth control. It's like the umbrella term. And then true vada is like a form of PREP. It's the only form of PREP that we have.

Now they're working on other forms. They are coming out with it like a gel a loobe. Do you guys to know, um, like cities or countries with the lowest race of HIV, just so we know where to travel. I don't actually ship us questions. I don't know, but I don't expect it. I mean, like probably in the Midwest where nobody lives. I mean, but I think that's where you be surprised at. Like then also you know them. We have a lot of other factors, And I mean there was there was there was a map that I saw.

I did want to go ahead. And before we we we get into our homemail. UM. For individuals who may think that this is really pricey, that's a conversation a lot that this costs so much. UM you know the reasons why? You know, Um, Magic Johnson is able to live because you can afford it. UM. I was talking to Olmo prior to recording, and she actually said that it is free um or very low calls to anyone with insurance Medicaid, Medicare they cover it um and then how much would it be on the high end if

you don't have insurance. So if you don't have insurance, you are don't qualify for any assistance programs. And you can't get it from like a study, because a lot of studies are you know, doing prep studies are giving you the prep for free, you know, if you can't get it any of those other ways, than it's fifteen hundred out of pocket month a month, yeah, which is very pricey most people, but most people qualify for some

sort of assistance. The pharmaceutical company they have a coupon like a cope coupon for people who have private insurance, and then if you have Medicaid, you're good. And also the manufacturer of the drug lay also offer like a program where they cover the cost of those are completely. You get it for free as long as you make like under fifty and there's yeah, I'm sorry, but just thinking of the price. Like so I went to Mexico, right and while I was there, I bought probably twenty

in Hailer's. They're only two dollars, and it's not necessarily that I need twenty. But I always noticed, like there's so many instances where I went to Denver to visit dub forgot mine Hailer, and it was so difficult to have a doctor write me that ken in Hailer's had to go on this website, tell a doc, find someone to call me, pay fifty dollars with that appointment just to get then Hailer like, it was ridiculous just for beauty, all just oxygen to breathe. So I bought all these

inhalers I could have them. Bagra, I noticed was another thing my friends were asking me to buy, and then the next one I saw that people were buying like crazy. There was prep, yeah, but what was interesting about PREP in Mexico is like this guy behind me in line asked for it and she's like writing down something on this paper, enhands it to him. And there was a

place for people to go get it. I don't even know if they sell it in their pharmacies, but like that's that might have been drugs its place as another time just exam X. There are certain prescriptions in Mexico that do require prescriptions, so most don't work, is why people have funing viagraph fetterman there. But PREP, I do think may have a prescription, and the guy really needed it or wanted it, and so she gave him a

place to go get it. I mean, I feel like if I was in Mexico, I would and I was using PREP for the purposes of HIV prevention, which is really the only reason why you would be taking it.

I would want to make sure that it was actually PREP, you know, because sometimes you go to other countries and um, their pharmaceutical industry isn't as regulated and sometimes the drugs aren't as effectively, might be expired, but blah blah, Like I wouldn't want to make sure I bought so I bought them a bit of birth control there too, because it's like a dollar. And then I was like checking the packs and one of them expired in a month, and she's like, oh you tick now, I'm sorry. That

was not a Mexicans all the time in Chinatown. So it's like kind of you know, my brain. So I did pull up that map though, so it looks like fifty and this is a dot gov by the way, so we're not just googling again, guys, the South Maids makes up fifty of new HIV cases. Yes, and um, it looks like Georgia's the highest, then Florida, then Louisiana. Some of the lowest that I see probably like, um, looks like Utah, Wyoming is one seven bro um, Let's see what else California? Do you want to go there?

Samoa has it's like zero some going on somewhe oh um. But my thing is why be worried about the map when we know that, like condoms are so affective. He's saying that, but I am curious to know is Yeah, that's true, but you know where it's spreading the lead. I want to go ahead and get into our homemail. Now. Before we get into the homemail, can you guys please read your shirt because I think it's awesome and I

think this is also why I chose this. We want to shout out Kayla Robinson from Green Box shopf Um, we have the y B racist, sexist, homophobic, or transphobic when you could just be quite trips on the one that Frank Ocean wore like Panorama and then that's when she blew up, thank you, I did not know your name or Instagram. Kaylea, I just said to these girls and they walked in. I'm like, I feel like I have a short like this. And she came to the

Zozo Talk in Miami and handed me some shirts. I've been wearing them and I'm like, I don't know who to the tag green Box shot. I think so thank you Green Box Shop guys checked them out. So the homemail for this week. By the way, guys, if you guys want to send in your homemail, you can email us at Horrible Decisions at gmail dot com. So it says, what's up, fam, I love the podcast many, I appreciate your organization, and WEEZEI, I admire your perspective. Together, you

guys make a dope team. Okay, So to the meat. I met this sedge off tender let's call her sour Patch. I mean she was right, the right mix of feminine and masculine energy, sweet pussy. I couldn't ask for anything more. We've been talking for just a few months, but the chemistry was undeniable. She's from another state, so she flew in for the weekend. We've seen each other on four occasions now, ship. I thought we had a great time.

Art exhibit movies pool. I mean we was chilling. Backstory, I'm married, currently separated, living in a different state for the last six months, and she's been single for five years. I probably could have started with that, huh. Anyway, So on the last night, I asked her, do you see this going anywhere? Her reply was some She said, I'm here with you, enjoying our time. I expressed that I

just right right, that's all it is. I expressed that I just wanted to match where she is, continue to get to know her, but I just don't know what's doing too much or saying too much. I haven't been single in a long time. I thought she understood. Hindsight, I know she was like, I gotta get the funk out of here. That night ended in cuddles. Then when I dropped her off at the airport, the hug was long and the kiss was sweet. She let me know when she got She let me know when she got back.

The next day, I didn't hear anything, which is normal behavior from her. I wasn't tripping. I just saw her. The following day. I'm blocked on social media and she blocked my number, no warning, no nothing. I'm actually writing this on day two of her ghosting, She's not coming back. I'm not going to lie. It took me back a little like finding out you got stung by a bee while you was trying to enjoy an ice cream cone. During her visit, we made plans together to come to

the live show in Atlanta. I have two tickets and now no date. I think this girl wrote me and she was like, Yo, can I turn my ticket in foro V I P yes, you can. Yes, she wants to take a picture with us. Whoever is at the door go up and be like I'm the whole mail and then sincerely newly ghosted, um. And then I think it's so. I thought it was just an interesting letter, um, that that she sent in. Of course, honey, go ahead and hollidays. It's cold, it's a cold, cold world. But

I think it's interesting, um. And it just made me think that I don't think a lot of us say what we want in the beginning of things, and we let things roll, and when things start getting good, maybe we do start applying pressure to situations where the other person isn't wanting pressure, the other person doesn't want a relationship and they're just enjoying your company. But unfortunately, when we enjoy someone's company, now we just want to be with them and it's like can we be with you now?

Do we match? Are we gonna be married? Like? Are we can you be my girlfriend? Keeping my boyfriend? And unfortunately it does kind of scare people all away, UM more times than not. So thank you for your home mail. UM wanted to just read that. I thought it was interesting and we will be seeing you in Atlanta, honey, just know that, UM, so before we be a new

person there. Yeah. Oh there's a ton of people. I did want to say that gay at our show where they'll be trying to eat we pussy like maybe, oh no, well, our fucking horrible decision shows are Honestly, I haven't had like one live show I've done in the last four live shows or any kind of Q and have done where someone hasn't asked to fuck me on the mic with their partners, we get a lot of like an UM shout out to blog melon and milk. She actually

bought me like Dominatrix Lingerie for my Atlanta show. We have dopes um followers. But I guess again before we before we sign off, UM, where can our listeners maybe reach out to you or where can they get further information on PREP and HIV if you can go ahead and drop that. Okay, So, um, you guys can follow our page for anything PREP HIV related. It's called at Sipping and spilling so s I P p I n U yeah, and then spilling s p I l I

n so no g's um. And then my personal instagram is j Arra so j a y underscore e r A h h. My instagram is at m O m O momo underscore Bologny b O l O g n A Bologna Bogna. That's what I mean. It's like boster By Arena song. We all knew that, right well g n A right yeah yeah. Um, and again we want to go ahead and shout out to everyone who's coming to see us on tour. Um for um, we're in Houston to three. We're gonna be at everybody in Texas, is right, and it's funny they all ready to get

by the way for all of y'all that Um. I do just want to say this, So Atlanta was not a show that we added a show to, nor did we switch anything around. So unfortunately we are not giving you refunds because you want to go see B two K bitch, We're gonna come out to be too K for that ass. Okay, we're gonna see here and give you on that song. For those of that are just saying I can't make it anymore, I'm sorry. Um, I

just wanted to throw that out there. Um. It was on the fine print we're not accepting refunds, um, but I just wanted to pay that out there. Well, I'm just saying all we had like thirty to five dollar tickets Randy from thirty five to fifty and two ks like people see they paid promo code. So we talked about regular people who just BUYK. They ain't Beyonce, Like I got a ticket and for free. So I'm like, okay,

I'm gonna bring scissors to the show. I'm buy The ticket was three and I was like, guess what, I'm only one call at the Hulu at the Hulu theater here. Um, but they're doing by the way, Um, we're looking to be doing our New York show the same day as the B TWOK. But it will be even flock to six o'clock four to stand. It's very close to the Venue. So you guys games if you're in Toronto, y'all, we did push that back to May and we are still working on Miami and l A Venue. So sorry for

the change. But unfortunately with you know, we work out of theaters and so it's like someone books the week it's it's very difficult with us to get one day on the weekend. And yeah, but I do want to shout out to our Patreon listeners, So everyone that's heard this next episode, sorry, but for the rest of your motherfucker's you'll have a small clip enjoy this. Also, if you think that the episode you just listen to was great,

thank you. If you think you could have done something better to help out with it, call us at the fifteen dollars here on Patreon. After four months we send out merch as well as call listeners for outline feedback and for help. You can pretty much produce an episode with us five dollars a month. You get three bonus episodes per month that's going to come out every Monday right after this show. So if you want some more, go on Patreon and you'll have a new episode waiting

for you right now. Halla, this has been yet another episode of horrible decisions by a person I dated who was black before my current girlfriend, Nice is, she had dated other Asians previously, because I think it happens to be whatever is available. Because in the Bay Area, I think maybe there's just a surplus of Asian dudes. There's a lot of Asian dudes and a whole lot of black women. I don't know if there's a whole lot of black bay Area is asking us to come and

they all black. Nice Yeah, I haven't seen you guys, Met and Kelly. Yeah, we moved here together. How long you've been together? Two? Wow? Wow? Two years? And you'll move across country together. Now, let me ask you made some jokes that I thought were great about your parents asking or I don't know if it's true, but the color of the skin, right, how dark? Things like that is a big thing. And you talk about that a little bit dating a black woman and if they were like,

how how black? Yeah, that's that's how that's legit. My mom did ask how black is your girlfriend? And I had to show her a picture of ices and she said, oh my god, that's too black. He said, let me ask you, because we're getting into this. Yes, what was your response, did he clearly you've heard this because he didn't said this on stage? Yeah, what was your response to that? I was expecting it anyway, so I was

prepared for it. We talked about this, like I think on our first date, where we're gonna have to get into the parent thing, the friend thing, what you guys think that's gonna be our horrible decision guys if you guys haven't pointed yet, but we're gonna go ahead and jump into vanilla ship. We're gonna kind of make it, make it a little couple never heard from our show.

Vanilla Ship is basically where we find and an article or pick something that's going on the news current that related to sex and so, as y'all know, and and actually we was like, yeah, we kind of got to talk about this, and I don't know how late we're gonna be in this post. But as y'all know, um our queen, well, I guess she's not really our queen. I'm sorry, not Beyonce bit my bad, okay, our princess um Cardi B broke up with um offset off the

knob and so they're no longer together. Did you guys see did you guys a video now someone said, oh wow, she's topless and doing a customer service voice. So basically we're not together. We tried to make a war. Um but like I love when ratchet people do that, try to sound it's the best. I called to you over the other day scream and she was like, well, ma'am, I'm gonna really try to get this together for you. So I just that you relax. You know, she was

black My fably have to switch the T mobile everyone. Sorry, the Indians pick up when I called for my every well they all now, Well, the thing is like most customers, I am actually no, you're not a lot of our Filipino though Filipino piso's got good English. They do, but you can also hear when it's like a Filipino trying to do you know, you're thank you, ma'am for calling an American Express. You're right. I mean, we's out there with all the ages by the nut follows. We're not

gonna be for instable anyway. So I wanted to talk about because we haven't had a couple in a while. I don't think we've had a couple maybe since the Swinger episode. Um so before we get into these questions regarding the breakups, and you know, maybe the last straw. Are you guys monogamous? Yes, you guys are gonna Oh so this is gonna be fun as fun. Okay, well, are you a monogamous? Would you cheat together like a threesome? I love it? She was like, no, that was allowed.

Y'all got the home show. You got to break them up. We'll back cross country.