EP 464: Jezebels

So everyone believes that my my reasoning for not wanting to be married is rooted in trauma and heartbreak.

No, to me, it's rooted in reality.

To me, it's rooted in and to me, it's also no different than if someone's already been married and they say, you know what, I don't want to go through that again. To me, I've been in that situation to where the person that I had of friendship with, that I love that at the end was on and came after my fucking livelihood, came after my money. Society is more accepting of a cheating husband than a relationship that's open, bitch.

And that's the That's the truth of it.

We are still in a place that we have to unlearn so much, but we are still at a place where not where we're not welcoming to other dynamics of.

Love, decisions decisions.

Every Lady is not an episode of decisions decisions. I'm your girl, Mandy b aka Peg the Saalion aka Peggy Bundy aka that Bitch, and my.

Name is Weezy.

I'm living a glamorous life like first class under the sky.

Let me tell you what song is that Fergie, But under the sky that's a that's a lyric I've been in the sky.

I was like, bitch, what song is that? Hello?

Okay, by the way, I'm mad that you just did that because I sent you the meme of me uh out of the old Nammy.

You got me the crown and the missionary.

Okay, and I said, she said, who's supposed to be? I said, bitch, me, I messed up the whole lyrics. So I love that you just messed up Fergie.

Okay said, then let's cut it out.

So basically this song said Okay, I was talking to a slight attendant, a just Mandy, and I just started talking about Delta and it's just like oh, I was like, yo, i' mssa spill this tea for the girls on a flight.

How to get a sugar daddy? Okay, Oh, this is how we're starting. We're starting out hot, yeah, because I'm a Jezebel so wow. And then guys, we might get into a little bit of therapy on this fucking j word that's so our ketchup.

Oh so let me tell you why I made the first class joke in his Delta story.

So I'm coming back from LA and it's fresh on my brain because it's two days ago.

There's a guy in front of me.

He got on the plane late, but while he was walking on, I don't know why, but I just knew he was in first class.

You don't just know. Okay, real quick, what color was he? This is the white guy, I know it was. Do not do that? No, no, the white guy.

I know when someone black is in first class too. And we gonna have this conversation because that I have with the flight attendant.

They're very problematic out the gate.

I know every single type of first I don't know why, but I know why.

I don't like that, because I feel like niggas still be looking surprised when I go into first class.

I don't look like a first class nigga. I don't like nandy.

I'm telling you the formula of this bitch had that the flight attendant gave me.

Let me know, she'll just be looking different. Okay, let me know.

So the white guy that came on looked disheveled but had a suit on.

Wait, I'd be looking dishoveled. He looked shovel had a suit on. He had on.

Uh ramoa bag. We know those are expensive that illuminum. I've been asking so many niggas I'm not worth it. I had like, how expensive are we talking?

Hundred dollars for the carry on? Oh? Yeah, like, and it's silver. I'll just keep my away carry hold on. You're gonna keep your away, I'm going to keep my burlington. Excuse me, listen, you should okay.

So, but he had on a hat that said yacht club something, so he sits down right for I'm like, oh, I knew it.

I knew it.

Throughout the flight, the flight attendant, white blonde girl. He keeps saying, I can't.

Hear what he's saying. Oh excuse me.

He keeps pulling her handpiliner and polinary, and then finally I see out of her mouth.

No I work tonight, I work later. Sorry.

I was like, and I'm like, let me just go be Bessie. So I go to the bathroom. I was like, girl, I seen him trying to talk to you, and she's like, oh my god. She's like, I'm not even supposed to talk about that with you. I can't talk about other people.

I'm playing.

But she was like, but you must want to right now, And I was like, yo. He looks like a fucking rich, rich piece of shit. She's like, dude, he was saying so many things to me that I just found inappropriate. She said, every time he pressed the call button, it was for nothing. It was for a pack of gummy bears, it was for chips, it was for exercise.

Bitch, that's something I know. I'm a ring the motherfucker light with some gummy bears.

I would too, having a mid flight wanting for gummy bears is weird, though, beer.

You know what I asked for him, A little salted chips. They'd be good of the miss Vickish, the miss Vickie, bitch.

I don't know who Vicky is. That whole gum bear.

That wop put her foot in them chips and they salted. Bitch, a sweet salt coll Why do you want to be me so bad?

But you want to be me popcorn? Oh bitch, that was me. They do that last night. But what I.

Do is the miss biggest salt chips and the little mischion mischial something cookies. Okay, they're a mission something. What's the best cob, No, they're not the best cars. Do the one in him like he looks I don't know, you look like an ain't cookies. They're the ones with the chocolate.

In the center. You don't know that the they're.

In the pink packaging on the plane, they have the chocolate in the center.

What the fuck? They're so delicious, someone's gonna screaming. Okay, so here's the first class tea. Let's first class tea. Let's so, I said to her, he.

Looks like he's about to do fucking cocaine all night and go to jail. And she was like, I know, there's a look that people just have when I can tell that they're wealthy. She said, I can also tell who's in first class or not. I can always tell. I was like, yo, I have a podcast about about sex.

Shit.

You gotta tell me because I gotta tell the girls. She was, actually, I knew you were in first class. I want to tell y'all what I had on and what was crazy about her saying this, Let me see, let me see if I got it in my clothes. So she said, oh, no, I was wearing my travel outfit. It's Aritzia sweatpant, black and black hoodie.

Whatever.

She said, the way you got on the plane, you didn't need to know where your seat was. When you sat in your seat, I asked you if you want it?

She said, Oh.

She's like, there's an attitude of the person. She said, you didn't even want champagne. You didn't pull your phone out. There's a lot like to take a picture. There's a lot of things you did that let me know. Oh, she must be a frequent flyer. She's like, but when you walked on the plane, there was something about your attitude, the way you wore your clothes. She was like, maybe how your luggage was positioned. And also sometimes people just really look cool and a little bit different.

They said, you look cool, and you look cool. No, no, fucking piercing, I mean you you know what I mean.

I was going to say, under my hoodie, you cunt.

I was wearing a.

Palestine Oh, stop killing Palestinian.

Shirt girl on the plane.

No, that's why she had a hoodie on, because they will they will kill Palestinians.

No, I know, Oh, they will take her off. I just understand that.

The pla and Nina's like sitting on top of the luggage and I think the dog.

I mean the dog, the dog.

You have a fucking little tiny parasolsan dogs. That's the point witch, of course.

So wait, I was like, yo, that's crazy, because there's sometimes where I feel like I'm not dressing up enough for first class. She goes, you know, when I really know she's a bitch, She was like, you know, and I really know the girls have never been She's like, when they're almost too dressy. She's like, I meet a lot of hot girls on the way to LA or New York, and I know they're with somebody rich, and they're almost so dressed up for first class that I know they're there.

To take pics. And so maybe they know. But because bitch looking like a ball. So she said, there's different art.

But I do order a membosa, bitch, and you better have my drunk before we leave this one.

Wait, Panta, she.

Said, when you see the sweat suit, she's like in a combo of expensive accessories, She's like, four eeks. Oh I do that, she said, men and women, she said, even like it could be the air what is it.

Over the ear? Not the airphones?

Headphones, She's like expensive headphones, the luggage, which she's like, not a lot of branding.

She says, they have a very clean look with the sweatsuit. So you've been there. Everything looks very clean. But then first.

Off, omfoue to be comfortable but apparently not too comfortable. You see you see Tampa, but you have a fucking duffle. Do you see Tampa with no more pajamas?

No? I kind of understand that a little bit.

I do do it so I hate that ship white people, okay, but I like black people.

Or this is racist a little bit.

Sorry, No, it's not white white white trash. I've been seeing it white.

But it's like now they could dictate our sweats to be but John.

It's not only sweats but even the budget airlines.

At a home girl who got denied like boarding because she had on a little cross top leggings too tight and she looked like a wore. And they said, the only way you can pour this is if you go get a hoodie right now, otherwise we're denying you border. But you also can't go on the on an airplane looking like you just left the strip club either, like they.

Look like you on the decorum. Oh okay, there's the other archetypes.

She's like when someone's extremely hot, she's like that girl sitting behind you.

Oh wait, that's why they know. Girl sitting behind me was fucking the.

Bitch had on raggedy clothes, jawnline, crazy sexy ass bob like the bitch was. She was like, there's also and she's like, I fly out of Atlanta Airport a lot, and she's like, there's a look.

When it comes to jewelry and.

A southern aesthetic, she was like, is an urban aesthetic.

It just is what it is. She was like, that's different from cheap jewelry.

She was like, the watch could be simple, the glasses are expensive. She was like, I've seen flight attendants say someone's ghetto and blah blah blah, and they're fucking millionaires. They're owning, like so many different restaurants in Atlanta they're owning, they have they'd be in different airport hangers. She was like, they different. She talked about the batty aesthetic. She's like, every time I see like you know, when the butt

Lip glass, they do this, okay, she said.

If it's white men, she said, I really see white men dressed down in first class.

They're typically corporate.

And depending on they are, she said, on the early flights, they're in a suit. She's like, if a white guy's dressed casual and looks cool, she's like a lot of tattoos. Sometimes tell me maybe first class artistic production, She's like, and then everyone else in between is just forgettable.

Oh yeah, I think that's exactly how it is.

But she said that so many people are forgettable, and the ones that she has to double take, she said, almost eight out.

Of ten or first class.

She's like, some people just I could serve them a hundred times and forget who they are.

And then there's some people to stick out to me, and those are the ones.

And I was like, you know what, to me, that also speaks volumes as to like the attitude of confidence a little bit.

It's so funny that you say that. I went to.

It was a bookstop for two chains yesterday with Deontay Coy. Did you see jan No jan wasn't there, but with him hurry it was so I got to see her. And you know, what he allegedly talks about in his book is how walking with confidence and being in rooms like confidence is an energy that so many people lack, but when you have it, no one can question you.

I almost looked at him, like, nigga, what you doing here?

And clearly you worked there, But he was just like, they's the thing about confidence that when you enter a room that everyone actually acknowledges and it's so weird that so many people don't have that.

And I when her and I started talking about confidence, right, we then started talking about dating. We need her talking about thirty minutes and she was like, there's just something with the walk. She was like, I don't know, and that's how when you aren't dressed well, She's like, oh, dressed up. She's like, I just know. And she's like, I don't even know if it's posture. And I was like, so when you're dating, like can you get people's numbers

It's not it's frowned upon. And she's like in for me.

I was like, so, do you always get the Delta class niggas and Delta one niggas and she was like no, She's like, sometimes it's the really hot, confident guy. She's like, I've gotten guys who are just out for a bachelor bachelor weekend and they all the way in the back in the middle. She was like, confidence is like striking to me because what I've learned being a flight attendant

The money gave them the confidence.

She's like, it's almost like if you stripped all the way like the guy that was hitting on her, it's gone. It's fucking gone. And she said, over the years she's been seeing younger people. She's like first class. Years ago was so like everyone in a suit. She was like, now no one fucking cares her.

I mean the same as the NBA. Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. I felt real old ago, like at All Star weekend and.

I was like, where are the suits? Don't you miss seeing the guys come down the thing in since girl, that's the early two thousand, I know, but this is.

Where I was just like, I'm miss seeing you know, the little fine fine ship in some suits. Now they're just wearing like outfice that make them look on the spectrum of sexuality. You know, be giving me cool, That's that's cool. I want a nigga in a suit, not a nigga a skirt. You know, they be wearing skirt, they be wearing leather pieces. I walk and I'm just like, can we just get the boys back in suit?

Are we taking an issue of men wearing skirts? Not today? We can't do this only you paint your nails? Wow? Wow? Can we talk a little bit about confidence in work too? Oh?

I was gonna say how I lost all confidence this last couple of weeks, But go ahead, we could talk about being confident in work.

Oh no, I was just gonna say how a confidence stripper ran me and goning to get through some money in Atlanta before.

I got hold on hold she said, she said, confidence is stripper. It's called manipulation.

We fight, you know, when you sit down and you in there and he like he spot the bad bitches, right, so we get the bad bage.

You were just in Atlanta, y'all went to Cheetah.

So we had dinner and we're like, all right, after we eat, so the baddest bitch in there, we call her over.

What was her name? Okay? I was making sure it wasn't my my bitch? Who was her name? Mistress? Didn't hear her that? Oh no, I got no, I don't wait know, And now I feel bad because I'm about to say bread because because what we love to do is talk ship.

Don't bleep the name of okay, so this particular don't bleep on mistress.

That's my dog.

Okay, y'all go see Cheeah BYU was about to close and December, so get there before you came.

I loved it.

So she comes over and she's like, hey, where are y'all from? And whatever? Her energy is so fucking whack. And so she was like, oh cool, yeah, okay.

When didn't y'all want to yea? And so she did sing on him.

Like yo, just fantasy ruined. She was smiling or whatever, but just like shoulders down whatever. So then it's funny girl come over wish I knew her name, and he was like is she coming over here? And he's like, please, don't let her come over here? And I was like, sh comes over the table and she was like, what y'all done eating?

I don't care my bitch and she said no, no, this bitch wife, but you don't remember, oh my bitch wag Okay.

So she was like y'all done eating? What she was like, so you ain't come for no dance? Don't play with me?

And I was like, oh, I kind of like a little attitude.

I was like, fucking give him a dance. She was like, because you want to watch I want to watch.

Me and oh yeah, no, definitely not my bitch.

And let me tell you, we're paying this bitch, paying bitch, paying this bitch.

And when he left, when she left, he was like, yo, we have a conversation about how fucking attitude will take you to a next level.

He's like, I will fund that all night over, that bad bitch. I really would.

He was like, I need that ship in my life. Like being surrounded with people that are the vibe.

Okay, it just takes you up nine Chase.

I literally saw the first bitch and said, okay, let's take out a thousand.

This bitch looked good. Fuck it, bro. When I saw that other girl, wouldn't thought. How long were you out there for? You? Like the ship club? You were there five four hours? What's nine to twelve? Three? Bitch? You were way off with the man. Why do when do you come to the twelve nine, ten twelve phil? Five? No, not five. I was in tech, you were in math whatever. I was in a county of finance. Foot, bitch. You just said nine to twelve was five hours. That's crazy.

That night?

Me doing what?

I went to dinner, then I went to a dive bar. Then I ended up at Flow, which is a party DJ by Brian Michael Cos.

Yes, but I went with Terra s Martin.

And Robert Glasper because he had to show it, and Kelly Rowland caught me beautiful. If y'all bitches be in the comments, talking ship said, oh my god, you're beautiful, bitch. And so now y'all can't say nothing, puss off, not gonna lie.

That's like beyond well. They said something. Okay, can we get into it? We can? Okay.

If you guys are O G whore high members, you go back to episode six, that's one.

It was. It's episode six that wasn't so it's episode three.

Damn yeh episode six was I think probably be small episode three?

Whoa, Yeah, don't know what to try to tell time.

By the way, I don't think our episode six, whatever that episode is, doesn't exist anymore. I know, yeah, damn our first episode would be someone doesn't exist anymore. Anyways, we had a discussion early on. I called I said that weezy it maybe myself. Maybe I didn't include myself.

I don't know. I was petty was promiscuous.

This became a constant trend of us having conversations about that word specifically. Now we are three two, three weeks out of the Sarah Fontineau dash shorter debacle of what took place here on Decisions Decisions.

If you guys haven't watched that episode yet, go back.

However, I did a vlog is available on Patreon right now, but before Sarah came on, I did her podcast. So for three weeks, y'all, those comments were good, not on oh on YouTube. They were not the clips that she collaborated with me on.

Mind you bitch, I like it's the.

Ground because you posted it on Patreon, and I feel I saw a bunch of people like this is great.

I don't know, yeah for us, No, bitch, I was introduced to her audience, which is a little bit more traditional. We little bit were introduced to the world because them numbers went up, And y'all, I I cried multiple times over the last couple of weeks. And I didn't know that the word Jessebel hurts so bad. Now hear me out. It might be because I watched handmade sales and the Jezebels were like, not great, but literally my mind went down the handsmade rabbit hole of as a woman, our

I forgot their names. And then you had the Jezebels only good for sex, only good for sex, and then of course everyone else in between, probably the others that we almost got canceled on and EDIT had to save us were in the field. Have you seen what? Because there was a field.

There's a video of a woman saying, let me tell you all of the things you can't be as a woman that you'd be celebrated for as a man. You would be celebrated for having great hair. You'd be celebrated for not having children. You'd be celebrated for being independent. Oof, you'd be celebrated for putting your partner second to yourself. Oh, you'd be celebrated for choosing your career or for your family. Like, there are so many things that as a woman scarlet a.

Yeah.

And so this this week was literally, and I hate to say this, I was like, damn, a part of me wish I was a man because the things that I find so much pride in mind you the autonomy that we've been given in this part of history, like being able to be c suite, being able to be entrepreneurs, being able to live on our own, being able to choose whether we want to be moms or not, being

Do you know the comment that hurt me the most? Oh, you screenshotted it. Her name is Naisha. She lives in Los Angeles.

Oh, pull, and we're gonna find your job and tell them that you're talking about black women on the internet.

Oh, she's a black woman self beautiful Actually, is she beautiful? I think so, you'd be fake nice to these bites? My first class, Yeah, for the first class beautiful. Who to tell? She made?

Tell you?

She made her page private once I tagged her. Of course you did, but of course her DOMO about her comment. I'm curious and it's such a simple comment, but something about it like activated me.

And it said.

Weezy will never be married. Not be sorry it weezy, w Weezy won't be married. It is what it is, okay, And I'm like.

Wait, that was a comment. I didn't keep going Weezy won't be married. Here's what it is.

I got right now, here's but here's how I really felt about that. I thought, damn, this is someone that's left comments. I clicked on her. She left comments on our page before she views the show. Don't tell me what the fuck I'm ever gonna have in life?

Mmm? You know what I'm saying.

You could say I'm a whore on this and that. Don't you fucking tell me what the fuck my future is gonna be?

Bitch? Because who the fuck are you? Who the fuck is you?

I click on her page. She hasn't failed lip gloss line. Then she like works in event planning or silent, whatever fuck it was. And I was thinking to myself, oh, bitch, you'll never be successful. How does that feel?

How dare I tell.

You what the fuck you ever gonna have in life? And I think the reason it hurt more is because it was a black woman that I know has been in our content before. It says something like that to me. These niggas I have these litt expectations for, but these women are higher.

And you don't you know that.

I'm not a terrible person. That's why you watch the show. I'm not awful, right. I don't know how much we could one can hate watch She's grown, like had the nerve to get on there and say I won't have this.

It is what it is.

I really think it's nasty to ever tell somebody they won't be successful, they won't find love, they won't access a certain point in life.

And that's why I really had to tell her she won't be successful. And I believe it. Everything I say comes true. It's true.

I get everything I want every single time. And when I'm sitting here married, I'm gonna bring you up again. And that lip glass line is still that go Daddy subscription is going to be gone by the time I'm married. And I'm sorry you had to say that to me, And I'm sorry for what I'm saying hurts your feelings. I'm sorry you didn't use another page to say this and that I was able to access you. I'm actually

Hey, choose yourself. Love my man. We all know I'm obsessed with him.

I realized in that episode I'm not as male centered as I thought. That's the fucking comic section is that episode with my mom and I where I said I want to cook for a nigg, I want to do x y Z.

That made me look very pick me, male centered, which I thought I was until I sat with Sarah.

And I'm not calling Sarah pick me, you not, No, I'm just saying that you don't think she's a pick me.

I think Sarah is because to me, there's a difference male. He's centered, but not a pick me.

It's weird because that was the interesting thing to me about her. It didn't seem like I feel like she was marriage centered. She was patriarchal centered. I think it could have but I think it could have been any.

Man like like you know what I mean, Like a.

Part of me was like even her husband now being her friend, first, her breaking up with the boyfriend she was with. It was marriage was the goal, not even the fact that she wanted to show up as this person for a man and give everything to a man.

It was that she wanted the title of a wife more than the man mattered. To me. That's how I guess.

I think the reason I know a lot of people feel that and believe that I'm slightly not sure about that because she could.

Have been married two other times. The first time.

Sorry, that was abusive, dude. Never mind, she could have been married one other time. That second one could have had him. And that's what made me think you don't want marriage, that you would choose yourself first.

Sarah has chosen herself.

So but what was weird or questionable about Sarah's choice to all of us as viewers, the people that didn't like what she said was the six days and the person before and them not dating.

That was the weird thing.

I don't know if that's picked me though, but it's male centered because she said something about that guy has a marriage mind. I think what Sarah displayed and we should also talk about this when we sit together again because there's so much dissecting from our conversation.

Yeah, I'd love to.

Say it is when she said the marriage mind to me, and I wish I asked her more about this because me, I was like, damn, if you ask me right now, if I could be the love of my life for even fucking ten years or just have a good partner that's a husband to the day I die, I would rather be in love. Love is above marriage to me. Love is above all. Love is a romance. Love and we share that in friendship.

You know what I'm saying, like.

Love, real fucking love, dude, Take give me that.

Run me that.

It's interesting because even your response to the comment is bitch, I'm gonna show you when I'm married. And for me, the comments have been so much more harsh in me as a being. Fuck how I see my romantic partnerships right?

Uh Chris xof if y'all want to tag him, feel free, it's two s's. Xof.

Chris's response to everything I've said is but you're nothing without a man. And so for me, oh bit, For me, the comments leaning into my existence as a woman, as a being, as an entrepreneur, as a friend, as a sister, as a daughter. No other titles in life matters until

To me, it's not just because I was going to say, of course, a nigga said that. Yea, and he did. But what's stranger about this is how valuable it is to women as well.

And I say that because when I get married, that's just what's going to happen in my life. If I ever had an issue or something ever went wrong, that girl Nisha would be so excited to see.

Well, you got married but it didn't work. Women also ready, Oh no, do you see the comments I want? But should we beleeve that? Yes, leeve that, let's beleeve that.

But it's why it's difficult because when a woman does.

Find her knight in shining new armor. Let's be very clear. I was with my ex.

For a year in bliss, and everyone's like, ooh, can't wait till she hit the rough fetch like people also can't wait for people to be unhappy because.

They want you with them. Hey, weezy, you'll never be married. You won't have this thing.

I would love to know why won't have it? And then once I do have it, you don't want me to have it anymore. Like, bro, it's a weird thing of us, kind of being obsessed with wanting to knock someone off a peg.

It's a weird fucking thing, you say.

I also think it's that people can't access they don't want to see y'all be different people. Maybe it also for the sake of the show, which is a little weird people.

Bro, she could still bitches get money be different people. That's genuinely the only reason.

Why I pitched that idea to Mandy that we spoke about privately, because I know for a fact I.

Can't talk about it and then bring it up on the wine. No, I'm not gonna say.

I'm not gonna say on the topic we talked about privately, but I'm just saying, like it is the idea that the mic. I know, yea.

Have y'all not lost friends because they were being weird, because you guys were like actually developing and changing and being different people.

It's the same thing. No, I'm I'm a lot of the same.

I have not lose but I have lost friends when they've reached different parts in their lives. So like if if friends got partners or had a baby or things that they just know I don't want for myself.

But you separated, had differences, that's it that happens. That is the weirdo side of it. When it comes to like people that even like fuck with y'all that they can't handle situations like, well.

It's different because I think for me it's baby's wife cool, I don't want either. So for me, it's also been the then what, so well it's not that then what? And I talk about this in my vlog. The two guys that I dated in Atlanta only dated two guys since I've lived in Atlanta. Both when I expressed that I didn't want to be a wife and didn't want to be a mom, one was like, so, why date you?

And the other was like, so, do you want to be a help forever?

What?

That was their responses, And oh wait, I remember, yes, I told you. And so for me, it's also like then sitting with the two of you and edding you two at the top of the year. My my romantic partnerships not being looked at from a serious lens to where wait, I do want partnership, I do seek love, I do want a healthy situation with another person. I also hear that you guys talk a lot about how we lean into our conversations from my heterosexual lens, y'all,

I want to think about something. I wish you worded differently on a wait, what do.

You wish I worded differently? First off, you know security about my Florida wrong, but it's could leave it like that, Okay, yeah, subscribe to you Tube.

So I wanted I wish I worded something differently, and I wish you worded something different talk to me. I wish I had said when I choose myself first, it's because what is my relationship without the best version of me? And I don't believe that the best version of you exists if someone else is before you.

This is why moms.

Suffer a lot. Moms suffer a lot when they get wrapped up in their mother identity and a lot of my homegirls, I'm sure you've had a friend or two be like this.

I don't know what like. I haven't been taken care of myself. I haven't do it.

Yeah, Nah, I got to be team a right a teen that I said in a way that wasn't translating.

Well with yours.

What I say, oh, I believe wholeheartedly and don't think it would even be judged about you not getting married. But your answer what was wrong with My answer was rooted in like protecting your heart, you know what's crazy yourself?

It wasn't root and so I've been respond hearing it. It was, but I've been responding to people about that. So my answer was I've gone through a divorce already. So everyone believes that my my reasoning for not wanting to be married is rooted in trauma and heartbreak.

No, to me, it's rooted in reality.

To me, it's rooted in and to me, it's also no different than if someone's already been married and they say, you know what, I don't want to go through that again. To me, I've been in that situation to where the person that I had a friendship with that I love that at the end was not and came after my fucking LIVELIHO, came after my money and.

I didn't need to keep anything. So for me, for and I've met.

Jenny, and you're not like that in business, No, you would do another podcast.

Hold on you ready on another? Hold on? Han did and you ready? Baby? That paper will look look real different than us in that that doesn't matter, though it does.

I'm not I'm not in partnership with anyone, but anymore after after.

Hold on, baby, we are the last of both.

Yo.

You and tempest have a business.

And it's not the same, girl, shout out, shout out a power, I p it is. I am no longer fifty to fifty with assets the way that partnership is righting up. Hold on my selective ignorance agreement, baby, it is me one baby the same. You would try again, and wouldn't. That's not true that I'm telling you, Okay, and wouldn't. This is basically why I said it's rooted in mem ma'am.

And wouldn't. I have two other businesses that are nothing like after that divorce? Correct? But you would start another business? Oh, Hold hold on?

Starting another business is not getting into a marriage with one of the persons.

I but you're getting into still another. No, it's not the same. It ain't no fifty fifty there. You could say it's not the same, but it's not the same. I do think, But it's not the same. Bro.

You want me to say the name damn bitch you d but it is not the same. It's not anything, Kelly God it is. It is not the same.

Woman. Isn't that nigga lantern? It is not? Okay? You said, but I play that clip too before this. No, no, I'll play it. You gonna play. Oh, I have the quick the way weezy.

When I sent her this clip, said, I really hate that you just said that to me.

He ruined my dad.

Because I just ignore shit, like if I see like a thousand mentions.

Oh it was bad, I just I won't look okay, So to be fair, mind you. When I first said it to her, I said, come on reaction video. And then I watched it all and I was like, okay, here's the clip that I said to Breonnda and I said help.

I said, these your.

People, but not a man always first, and then my tients and then.

God, I come thron day. The jees adel spurns right, oh from the lantern woman. Okay, I wait that you you cut that? That clip was way long.

No, I just put a little edit and sent it to my friends, like of a nigga saying they need holy water for of course, oh I know, but I don't want to blame in it.

It's the whole relive in it.

But I will tell you the Holy Spirit with the niggas saying that where is this holy water? On my birthday, I'm going to get a shot of patron poured into my mouth and like kind of double click click with the holy water. A few things I want to say about that moment, right, I think the bee kids god thing, if I could elaborate on it. And even though I don't really care because whatever the reason I said that is because religion is not something that is that important

I don't halljah. I have faith. I'm a spiritual person.

My partner and I have prayed before bed because we want to speak words out together, but he won't even say amen, Like we are not the traditional religious couple. When I say God, I really just mean everything around me universally. Whatever I know, my ancestors or gods to me now, my grandmother, my aunt. That's what God looks like for me, not saying I'm an atheist or agnostic. It's just when I say God, sometimes it looks different.

The ideology behind religion.

I grew up Jewish because of my father, and they all hated my mom and didn't welcome her in a synagogue, and then I would have to sneak off to church with my mom because she wanted to feel something. And then while in church, I was dating a woman, and then every time I'm talking about sisters, I almost say her name, And then you know she also dealt with some of those feelings too, about how she felt.

Because she's so religious.

And I've just seen religion not necessarily heal and help people in my community.

Not only.

There's a layer of do not kill me, bitches, there's a layer of delusion. Let me tell you a conversation I had this morning. So I was talking about the response from what I said on that episode with a friend of mine, not gonna say her name, but I was having this conversation with her and she immediately went into why marriage means something and she said, well, normally it's from religious values. I said, okay, but I'm not religious. So she said, so where do you get your morals from?

Are you good? Question on?

So she asked me that, like, in terms of how you show up for your partner or your friends, where do you get your value? And I said, well, not only from lived experiences, but from books and things that I read and things that I take in and history, because you know, you can change, like history repeats itself often.

So I go into to saying that I get.

It from lived experiences and books, and it was so interesting.

She was like, well, I'm confused because what do you mean books? Like what kind of books? And she scoffed at me, saying books.

And I said, bitch, like the Bible that you based yours off of, isn't that a book? And she's like, yeah, but who writes the books that you read? And I was like, bitch, who wrote the book you read?

I said?

And then she said something so hypocritical? I said, got them? She said well there's she Her response to that was, well, there's a u I want to say. She said hierarchy. I can't remember now the exact word, but she's like, well, there's a there's a difference in books. And I was like, oh wow, So if my religion was the Qoran, would you put that? Would you put your book the Bible above my beliefs? If I was a Buddhist and believed in Buddhism, would you put their, like, your beliefs above

How else was was the fuck it written?

And so it was so interesting us having this conversation that I was like, we could stop here because your faith and the book that you read from and the way that you align your life. I'm saying the same exact thing, but because it's not your religion and you just don't want to even accept my answers, we could stop this conversation because.

I don't want to argue with something about their religion, right, And.

I don't tell her I put God, Universe, religion, and spirituality.

Third, I just do Mitch. I put out was that other thing that not clip finger. That listing thing was crazy. I gotta be honest with you, Eden, I would say it again.

But I actually wanted to ask you if, if, if you sat with it, because it was such an on the spot question.

If your list changed and it didn't, does it change? She said, fuck you pull slas oh so again, who are you pointing out? Who is that? I'll shit, Hey, what I just see a fucking wait? Mind you?

I I saw a tattoo on a harm.

I said, so, like, yeah, point of it all is is like, if God doesn't center my everyday life, why am I gonna lie in this moment? If I'm not going to church, if I'm not visiting, if I'm not basing my morals, ethics, and values off of the Bible or religion, how can I now pretend in front of everyone that knows me? Fuck the thousands of people that just discovered me.

From that clip. People have been watching the show for years.

How many times have y'all heard me talk about praying for God or by relationship to God?

You know what I'm saying. I did produce at I ain't gonna hold you sorry if y'all are listening to this, because I love y'all. I love y'all.

No, no, no, no, I don't love everyone listening.

I love my homegirls that listen.

But I will say being in my thirties and certain bitches entering heartbreak and God being the nigga they fall on right after, Oh that shit has been one of the hardest things.

Bitch. I know you and I'm not gonna hold you.

God is the most ghetto rebound nigga for these bitches that could exist.

They be breaking up with these niggas.

And God beat the rebound and it just be like they turn into a whole new bitches waiting for healing to just arrive.

He got all the answers.

No, and that's what they say. I've had a break where I was like, how do I do it? No, bro, bro, no, no, no, no, no, it's it's it's it's almost like fuck therapy, Fuck holding the mirror up to how you showed up in that relationship. Fuck any accountability. I'm gonna go to church and Bible study. And now that I go there, God is going to heal these wounds and find me a better man. And it's like, bitch, And then so when I'm talking having three ZiLs picking up bitches at the clerk. Yeah, I

And God, let's everyone get the clip.

Okay.

But it's like, okay, I get it. God can right and he will hallelujah. But no, like God cannot be your rebound nigga. You need to do the work to actually get through whatever this is. Hetriarchy is God a nigga.

Okay, That's why I said che earlier as well.

I mean, wait, according to Malcolm, the heterosexual bitches, they're not gonna believe they rebound.

As a woman. The Christians are not gonna like this one.

Okay, I know they're not gonna like it. But there's just one other thing I have to say. That's just the Christians in my life that I really fuck with. I started a business with two Christians Jeff and Breonda and trapause Heelujah, right, hallelujah.

And I'm gonna be real with you.

I genuinely find like a closeness sometimes with modern Christians. I think it's because faith can make you a great person.

Because having this rule book immorality to follow cool. I believe a lot of.

People can't get to that, Poe. Yeah, because also the world is so fucked up. If you don't believe that you're gonna go to heaven, you might not want to.

Be Yeah, I can't go radical.

To me, radical Islam is as bad as radical Christianity. Like the way I was talking to me in the comments like are you bitch as fucking for Mari, Like oh my.

God, it was so bad, and it was like God would not approve this YouTube comments.

So I said all that to say, it's hard to be that open about it, especially to Sarah who has a great relationship with God and with her own self and her own religion. I don't want to push back on it and make it a thing like.

I mean, and we've never done that.

That's to me if she's leaning into marriage for religious beliefs, if you believe in marriage, because the sanctity under the Bible means more to you in this in this union, I'm I'm mad at that. I mean, I think that that's the thing.

For me.

When I think of the way I view marriage, it's from more of a business sense. I've had a divorce and I'm not as religious, and you know we've had.

To have this conversation my boyfriend and I, oh.

Sorry, y'all, this is what happens. Uh fuck the outline, sorry because we have again.

Ah Edi, I gotta watch all these not too much. We ady D eighty HD up in this shout out to the neuro divergence. I'm not gonna lie best episodes. God wanted this. I don't know. I don't know.

This is this is the people gonna be like ooh, the Christians gonna be like ooh.

Christian. It's not that's what they say. The word is not allowed Jesus God.

You know your Jesus Jezebel. Oh sorry, bitch, they could just call us Jezebel. They called y'all Jazebel, not me attitude. Do you have to say J word?

I want to litter shirts that. Oh my god, lets do Jezebel.

Merch Oh I love it. Yes, I agree, I agree, I agree, I agree. The word that made me cry. Yes, I will make you very It's like horrible.

We've too come up with a Jezebel pie in there. Come on, and you know it. Look that lipos line is not gonna do anything might as well make the shirts.

Come on, bring it back round to that, bitch, Bring it back around, it out.

I'm sorry she's not home. She's going to be married soon. Get married, bitch, you're about to get married.

Hey, Mandy, i'se get married to?

I mean I really was.

Actually, let me tell you I was another shirt, not worse.

Get married too. No, that's a good shirt.

Way you actually have party by the way, y'all, I'm not hey.

Y'all better not if I could take none of this ship because y'all know I'm not engaged or anything. I just do not do that. I spent what I was gonna happen me.

Hell, we be having these ideas, Hey, guys, did we ever talk about let.

Me see that so fast?

No, we need someone to like send in the notes of like a recap can Gemini.

While he's gonna tell us to make the shirts. We just be like, no, No, we gotta.

Eatmail for Alex and it. Let's just all hose, get hose, get married to.

Okay.

Yeah, So I'd be wondering when I watched the episodes and I'm seeing the comments like what's my niggas going thing?

So that that was another part of me crying. I said, oh my god, my two boyfriends.

Mind you, I know for sure one of them he has other women, he talks, we're open whatever. Not them has brought it up what.

I hold on the way he be telling me my clips get sent to him and they don't know, and so mind you no, but bitches. That bitches is our fans. I'm fine, they don't know that that's my nigga. So they just be like, look at this clip. And so he's like, man, I got it. I got your clips sent to me today. And so I was just like, which one, Oh my god, that one?

That one that I don't really talk about on him, that one or I'm not the clip?

Oh no, multiple clips? And so I was through that. I said, he likes me, it supports me. What if he read these comments on this clip, and I was like, he's not gonna think I'm as little as I am with him because these bitches are fucking.

Shitting on me. And I literally do that. I'm like, he gonna think I ain't ship because of these comments. I literally think of that too. So you boyfriend.

I two boyfriends, and I'm just like, what if they read these comments and then they don't think they gotta fuck with me no more because the world thinks someone fucking jez about.

You know, it's crazy.

His brother's be watching like the theyve be like in the Spear, like they saw the Paul Pierce episode and he was like, man, i'd be knowing your shit go when my brother's be like, oh I so gee one anyway, So I literally was sitting there with he saw that one too, you know that one pops up on algorithm?

Was he like, watched episodes of just the clips clip. He's a clips guy.

I think those people that we've dated, our friends only watch clips.

Yeah, Like my friends actually love to tell people they're my best friends.

But don't watch my ship. But people when people come up.

To me and be like, oh my god, and listen, he'd be like, you know, my friends love to say I don't listen to our stuff, like I.

Don't have You know, what's fucking funny, My friend I ran into Crystal or not ran in I was in Orlando or Christopher and he's.

Like, what's going on with you? I'm like a few months back, that's hilarious for real.

Okay, So basically that whole moment happened where I'm like, yo, everybody's like ragging me right on the internet, and I want him to see it because I'm like, lit's sit together.

Like I was like, you know, because we.

Don't have a family and kids, and I was say, and I want all the horre hyps, you know, like hose K had his life too. And he was like, I mean, you're not really homelid, but baby, I was, you have to accept this, do you understand?

But the world still sees you as one now, And that's what I said, that they all think on the core still.

And then that's when he was like, I need the world thinks I'm single. I don't identify as such.

Y'all be trying to give me a label, Like imagine if someone just wanted to call you gay or a lesbian. Y'all don't be liking titles, right, so y'all better stop putting this single title on me out then, last, I am in a relation to where when niggas come up to me and they try to talk to me.

And I literally no, no, no, no, basically no.

No.

Let's be very clear, find niggas too that I'm interested in. You said, I have two boyfriends. Oh, like, I welcome them to be the third. But I am not a saving.

I hear two boyfriends, I'm like, okay, so I have a chance. If you hear one boyfriend.

Like cool, maybe you have a chance. I've got a shot. Yeah exactly, I have a shot.

Ikay, okay that but and yes, and do the second.

But I'm not.

That's why I like when I see all these single lonely bitches, A bitch.

Ain't lonely at all. Sign it's a calendar. Okay, Yeah, this is what y'all got to do when ugly nis come around. When I just start loading the bro those rings aren't even I don't even have they know what anagent ring. I don't even look. Nobody cares about that.

But that's how ugly they be getting. I just start loading them all that.

That is so mean. That is not let me see that ring. Nothing. This won't even look like a wedding band. That's that's kind of my point too.

Yeah, my ship better be this bit what I hate big rings?

You want a big ring, so you know it's actually crazy. Okay, hey, be ready for that. You get the ring? Which they's doing it They about to about.

About it like that lovest ring. They bringing even cut in opal who gets an awful like the way you traditional ring.

The niggas is gonna just talk about the ring, even though you probably get a ring.

They gonna talk shit about the ring. I ain't gonna hold y'all. I'm gonna do a social experiment.

I told you don't like a two piece ring. Oh just listen, why do I remember? I will be going to Candler Road. I will be going to the biggest hair store because they got all the things. I'm gonna come in here and tell y'all I'm engaged social experiment. Six months.

I'm engaged. I'll wait time after you so that you don't feel sad that I'm engaged. First, you know what, I don't want a future. We were doing a little too much.

It's gonna happen because Cammy Crawford came on and she has say it.

I know it's happening.

No, And it did like a month later. So Manifest, you know, so funny. You know what we manifested being a New York Times best sellon. Everybody didn't think we would even be. It was like, you witchy bitches.

We man the way that I want to ring, they're gonna talk about it.

Like when my nigga and I talked like a year ago about stuff.

I like, he was like, what about I was like, no, two point plank, plain plank plane. I was like, this, is there something asymmetrical. At one point, I was like, give me a black dim like, give me fucking weird.

I don't want anything to be normal. If we're gonna be.

Not traditional, get me a fucking weird like and I was like it has to be big, like four or five and he was like, nigga, what carots?

Oh oh bitch, do you want to be able to lift your hand?

But then at the same time, when I put on Cammy's ring, Cammi's ring is like five years and you know what, I really fucked me about Cammy. I literally saw her after she got her ring and I'm like, oh my god, I don't know what I would like.

And she was like, oh, here, took it off her hand.

See if this is a good shake, and she him right there with being like, yeah, I see.

What you mean.

I mean maybe you need big And I was like, you know what, I actually don't want a fucking crazy big thing. But also my sick brain is like, well, bitch, just think about nigga.

Don't love me if it's small?

Oh yeah, no, no, no, no, are you kidding me? Have you not been on the internet a small range?

No? I mean that you're bro. No. I don't think you're crazy for thinking that. That's my point. Yeah, you know the internet's gonna you're either poor or he doesn't love you that much. Right, Walmart, let me ask you a question. You guys have been doing this show for almost ten years to saying that, right, Yeah, wrap us up at you guys have seen yeah.

Because I just want to to rest you guys have seen so many comments year to year, day to day, week to week. Why is it that this time around that y'all feel like it really hurts outside of the Mahamaid's tail. Like and when I say hurt, y'all know what I mean, like something that you're like, Oh word, this is how y'all really think.

I'll be honest and this is going to sound crazy, but if you read No Holds Barred, a dual manifesto of sexual that's right book. I actually find myself to be the best version of myself right now. I've done five years of therapy. Financially, I'm in a good place. I'm in a good place with my family and my friends,

Really I really love this right now. Wow.

But to be in the best place that I've been from like a work point, standpoint, bank, account point, all the points, and for the internet in the world to not feel that or uplift that, or to still poke at me in a way that if someone said the things that they're saying about me now. When we first started the POD, I felt those things about myself, but

People in your life respect you. We don't.

And when I say we, at society in the world, it just feels like this uphill climb that's that I'm constantly gonna get pushed back down.

It's like a mountain.

I'm never going to reach the top of a hill that I'm never going to reach the top of and kind of what we've been doing for ten years, like and what I put my legacy at in terms of us being pioneers in this sexual revolution. It's like I've questioned, damn, have we fought a fight that we're going to inevitably lose? And it's made me question everything and I don't like that. That's why I hurt so bad because of where I'm at in my life right now.

And I don't think it's a fight that you'll lose and thing that's just a fight that just won't stop.

Not even that won't stop.

I mean, And I always reference it now, like with the reversal of Roe v. Wade, to see all of these athletes that have domestic violence charges and sexual assault charges still get multi million dollar fucking check the following year, Seeing that women and children now don't matter what the Epstein files, Seeing how much like a woman's safety well being, what they experienced, their trauma to men doesn't really matter and we can cover it up because fuck a woman's life.

But also you better love you, put up, make you my wife and give you a kid because that's your only value here. That gets that that hurts? How about you? Easy?

I don't know how to talk about right now, trying to really think because most of the things you said were kind of my reasons too, But I'm trying to figure out a specific thing.

Why did it hurt?

Do you think it's also because someone that you genuinely love, that has seen you for you might also read those comments. I know for me, well, we've talked about it. It's like, oh my god, my boyfriend's in the comments right now. Like all week You've literally told.

Me multiple times that boyfriend was reading comment.

He was, well I was, I was sharing that with him, Okay, but no, no, no, he was very One thing that feels good is seeing all those things, even at the point of defending Mandy, like I don't like how people. It's just so I actually saw this week. Oh, this week was way better than last. No, no, this weekend last, how much my nigga's in alignment with what I'm doing.

That felt I love that.

There were so many times where he's like like yo, like Mandy can't even fucking like really say like she want to be or can't say this or can't say that, and then like the point where she was like, you've been and he was like, everything for these people is religion. Like He's like, no one's thinking for themselves. He's like the two EU almost looked like scholars in dating experiences.

He was like, He's like, but what does she have more of dating experience than y'all? I think that's just the t No.

I think it's just him being like saying, you have to understand, I've been dating my boyfriend.

It's not a long time. Three years.

He just saw us come out with a book, he saw us rebrand. He's seeing us being better in a relation. He's really like, and now y'all can't do this. You're New York Times best stuff, but you can't fucking give dating advice. And y'all really been dating. He's like every version of it. She had one boyfriend, now she got three boyfriends?

What the fuck would you don't be adding? Oh? Sorry, but I actually am so good right now. I don't want to think when I said, Oh my god.

Every time he had a new comment about it, I realized, like, oh, he's on the same angry level as I am. And the thing that it was highlighting to me was the same thing you felt like, Oh, there's nothing you could do. There's nothing you can do to ever make this go away. The other thing that kind of scares me a little bit, just to be totally honest with y'all, we talked about hard launching a lot and like maybe when we have.

Y'all are never gonna see my niggas online, I'm not gonna hold you. It kind of set me back again.

But then also there was this thing that we talked about where he's like, I don't think people understand love like this can exist, and it almost makes you want to put it out there more.

But then if you put it out love like this, do you know that is love like this? Oh what you're talking about? Comment? Never mind? Oh it's okay, we're too different by races.

So basically the fact that Sarah and her husband have and by the way, I don't know their marriage, that's the only reason I'm saying the words this way, Sarah and her husband are perfect online, Yes, right, well spoken, attractive, beautiful house whatever, lovey. He's like, I really feel like alternative marriages should be shown. You and I don't give a fuck about respected marriage and the Bible and not fucking holes together.

Alternative marriages get shown on TLC.

And he was like, and the fact that it's good and safe and healthy should be displayed. What is our love good and healthy and safe because it's not online?

You want to know something that I read that was so interesting.

Society is more accepting of a cheating husband than a relationship that's open, bitch.

And that's the that's the truth of it.

We are still in a place that we have to unlearn so much, but we are still at a place where not where we're not welcoming to other dynamics of love.

And imagine I think that I I feel safe in this, He feels safe in this. What will his family think about us talking like this publicly?

They already know, Hey, bitch, hold on, we good. We're not into this pot yet. No, no, no, no, no, no, that family. Hey, if I got to meet them, I'm hay, fam I'm like, okay, you Oh.

What if him and I ever displayed public because basically that means that all the open shit everything like what if we.

Ever did that?

And so it's like, is my relationship so healthy because it's peaceful? Then again, old bay was it wasn't healthy and it was peaceful slow, but it's just weird. It's like, you know, I talked about maybe one day I was making a piece of content together and then with that said, I'm like, damn, it's gonna be like who hoes you used to fucking the comments.

Like he's a liar? He texted me like, and I'm like, yo, will it disrupt like a shit?

I don't know, bro, I'm not gonna hold you. I have a thing for hose and I'm actually working through that now.

Why the niggas? I love it. I love a whole ass nigga. It's anyway you stayed together over fights over ther.

Old's gotta find each other anyways, Woo, no outline. Luckily you just sent it right before I got here, so it gives me time to look over the s.

I was having a bad day. The cat scratched me. Where the cat was last night?

That wasn't this morning anyways, Guys, thank y'all, hope you enjoyed this. This was like a therapeutic Okay, before we go, drop on the comments. I had an idea, but differently, we are approaching our ten year mark, so the same bitch no, oh no, even.

Better ed and you've been here alex Yo me Wolf.

I want it to round table, what the dynamics of working with us through a tumultuous behind the scenes has looked like, what good times have looked like, what bad times have looked like, and share kind of an inside glimpse of what it's been with all of us for the last decade.

I know you don't want to do this. I wish you had to care about Eddie's face is life because you said good times and then you said bad times. Oh, it's gonna be crazy on you ready, hold on you ready?

We fired and hired and fired both you alex Yo me, like niggas have been in and out of us like away, I would want hold on.

Wait even to where we brought Chris Morrow on we did Oh, I thought you know I'm talking about.

We do maybe a two part roundtable style where we literally talk about what it's been like like him with us, like growing this show from a personal standpoint. Some of our relationships have grown personally off camera on camera.

The things we've.

Endured over the last ten years kind of like a therapy episode, but behind the scenes of a tumultuous, successful body.

I'm going to give you an example.

There was definitely one time in my life where I had to play telephone amongst them too, because they couldn't talk to each other. Wait really, oh yeah, really yeah, see gon going like that happened.

I don't recall. That was fun. Sometimes you know what's crazy, I believe you. I display sometimes like bad up memory. They've been bad. What you're saying that like unlocked it for me. So that's the thing. You gotta do that on camera. I only know Alex's because he brings it up on work calls. Oh you know Alex's were bad.

He'd be like, Yo, remember that time where you jumped up and Mandy was like, I don't.

I don't know that happened, but I think one.

Of us most Y only thought I didn't like her, and you know she works with me now, and she said to tell me energies of us.

Being on Oh I remember yo, me being like ones like, oh, I don't know what she just become.

And yeah, so sit on it.

We have a couple of months to decide. But yeah, anyway, the bulk of it accomplished.

Boring, let's talk about the zoom calls.

We don't hang up an more.

Fun, that's definitely anyways. If you want to see the blog of me literally doing my skincare routine and crying, yeah, I got tears and turmeric that hit my lips. Tears headed to Patreon dot backslash Horrible Decisions. By the way, Weezy and I are dropping a lot more vlogs together, so you will also get to see what this day of recording looked like from entering the studio all the way to filming and all the things. So join us

Aho. I just got another nine commis I want to drink. You were reading.

Comics just I just well, I'm telling them about supporting us.

No, I just had mad fucking texts about a fucking chat. My friends are also just like costing people up.

I told my friends. I was like, can you all just stop you making it? You're embarrassing too much. No, that's worse. Yeah, stop number of facts sake, w tf, trop pals, get with it.

I just bought a home. I can't like you can't. This is very low brow. Oh my gosh, I need your niggas to stop.

Thank you guys for tuning in to yet another episode of This Is Yon.

This is