Welcome to Decisions Decisions. I don't think you should say decision Decisions. It sounded like you was talking to Kirsty. You definitely say to welcome, Welcome to the new podcast. Oh wait, you want to say together Decisions Decisions.
Welcome everybody to another episode of Decisions Decisions. It's your girl, man dB aka Peg the Stallion aka Mandy Lapute aka Mandy Dirt aka Mandy Baskins aka That Beach.
Welcome back, everybody. My name is Weezy and oh yeah, we've never been on here before, so we haven't for y'all, I ain't gonna hold you. I think I told Alex I liked it.
So I'm gonna copy the set that we're gonna record in Atlanta at my studio. I'm gonna make it like this color scheme and all.
What I'm gonna get that's gun character next thing. Uh uh No, you not. You would never. I would never do a twenty seven piece, bitch. I've done a twenty seven people from Flora Le.
Do no goddamn twenty seven piece. But y'all know you since you was fifteen.
I've done a little like the Little bob Ones. They didn't look like that, though I didn't do the short one. I don't know if I would have.
Twenty seven pieces are short? You did a quick weave, but not at twenty seven. This is twenty seven pieces.
How do you know it's exactly twenty seven? That's what the box said, Oh, numbers, don't lie? What you want me to say? What do you want me to say? Got it? Well? I wouldn't remember that because I'm fucking washed. Let's have a catch up about how I don't want to do anything. No, what, You're not depressed, are you? Oh? No? Oh, you just really are washed. Okay, but you're not even thirty five yet. I got three more months. And let me tell your son. I literally, so this is how
I know I'm washed. And tell me if anybody else can relate, and if we are together, washer and dry yours. So here's what happened. All right. I go out last weekend, okay, And before I went out, all I was talking about that whole week was, oh my god, I can't wait until we go out Saturday. I'm gonna get so fucked up. I'm gonna get fucked up. I was talking about it for two weeks. Oh my god, we're gonna do this. I'm gonna sprinkle a little molly in my drink. It's
gonna be a time. Then we're gonna go to this new afties in New York. It's called Refuse. Stays open till two pm. I'm out all night, you do. Bitch went to dinner right around dinner, right when, and I did late in little nine thirty. You know that's the party girl dinner time that is. That's a late dinner when I'm at one of our favorites and soho you are, you know, and I'm getting that duck breast and you know what that little I'm like, it's a living forty
five and trying to get tired. So now I'm looking like around the table, I'm like, let's just do the drugs here, and they're like, damn, bitch, we needn't get to spot. But I'm like, I need something to pip you up. So yeah, I do drugs at dinner. So I'm like, should get it, by the way, not drugs, drugs shroops. She's still drugs. Ah honey, and you take I got you a little my niggas. Oh, I just want to chime in and talks shit. Yeah, drove back to the point where they be like they hate dart
because I put it. I take them in chocolate. That's still drugs, but it's in chalc it's cookal Mine was water, it was molly. Oh. So anyway, I'm thinking, no, I'm getting tired, but I'm wanna be a party pooper. So I'm like starting to play this. How I done gets tired. I start playing music at the table, wat to check come in. I was like, ooh, rehythm, let's wake back up. And everybody else is like, which, we've been up? So
we get to the spot. My friend Andre was DJing at this like Brooklyn warehouse, he thing, and it was a pive and so I'm like, what time you get on. He's like, I'm gonna play one to three thirty and I was like, god, damn, that's late. But it's all right. So now what I do. I don't know if anybody else has it. I go and yap mode. I just started yapping. I get a little high and I just start chatting to make the time pass. And I just start yapping everybody because that's how it keeps me up
because I like to learn lives. I start talking to a Horrorhive member. She's like, oh my god, you need me both, like I'm a piano other than this. And we talked for thirty minutes. Boom, thirty minutes I know because I was high, and she says she needed the time to pass. Okay, So three o'clock, come right, somebod Nica looks at me. He's like, well already here, you already out. Bitch is snowed the night before. We already out. So then I say to Andre, like, damn, you got
another show tomorrow in Atlanta. Damn you need some rest. He's like, no, I ain't seen you in a minute. We're good. I'm like, oh, you was trying to go home. Yeah. So we get to the athletes, this new spot in New York.
How are you saying you're washed? But you made it all the way to the affies. This is not a washed story.
It's like you, okay, hold on, you wanting to leave, but still being out doesn't make you wash. Bro, Like, this is not a story of you being washed.
You've been watched it have been Like, instead of going out, I went home and binge the Beast in Meat on Netflix had popcorn and a glass of wine that is washed.
But you made it to the Aftes at three o'clock in the morning. Okay. So once I get to the Aftes right now, it's about eight of us, but I ain't have my ID, so I'm like, I'm definitely not gonna get in. It's okay, guys. No. So everybody's like no, we're all together, like we're not going only weezy and I'm like okay. So then we go to the front. My man's like, give your phone. So he pulls out my ID. He's like, this is my girl, blah blah blah blah, and he's like, doesn't work. She can't get it.
I'm like, no problem. Then the manager comes out and he's like, looking at me, that has really pissed me off. He's like, yeah, she's fine, she's good. So I wo all, I mean that's twenty one, bruh. I don't think you look over twenty one. Well yeah, you look over twenty one, mind you you should be happy and and you don't even know. Well we was young with fake id's this bitch all They would look at her and be like, yeah, bro, this ain't cute.
Good truck, like she got good hard she got her fake id crumpled in half, and he said, I know you got school in the morning, go on home now and ruin my night. Bitch, I couldn't be out mind you, out of fake id of But bitch, it was five nine. Where the fuck am I five nine?
Anywhere? Mine did look like mine?
Yours?
Yours did not a little too brown, Yours did not brown, and I'm a little too white, but mine said I was five nine. Okay, same facial, but you should be happy that you're now able to just get in. So boom, I get into this crackhead afteres on tight and just how I know I'm mad. The acting is actually really good,
but I was mad because I was so tired. So you know how like you could be doing the same ship as other people, but you're just gonna be talking about them, because like I could be doing some whole ship, I'd be like, she fucked a bunch of niggas. I could have fucked a bunch of niggas. That's the ship I was on. I was in there afters and I was like, movies, people are sucking right access well, while
she was drinking molly water. The hypocrisy. So then this girl sitting there with a lobby pop and she's like, coming on, ma so much funny, you have me so much fun I'm like, I was just so mad because I can't be in it. It used to be me. I was young, water fright, so anyway, but you are still free. We both yeah, I washed as did. I was like damn getting kinds hired and was like, nigga,
you the one who was talking about this shit. I was like, okay, So I sat an alarm on my phone when I was going You're like, damn, I god, she going on. You don't got to record horrible. Even though it was a week later. I was just starting, you know, so now you had to get vocal wrist a week before. I put an alarm on my phone for five am because I was like, that's too much, that's too far. So my man and him say, I go home, y'all. I get home to read my kindle.
I was tucked in the bed in the sheets, reading a book.
So she's watched because after an afties she went home and looked at her kindle.
But it's only because she couldn't go to sleep because she was on Bodley. Hey, what are we talking? About I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm reading like I was reading. I was so high. I was reading the back of the book published by Simon the Shoots for two thousand and six. Yeah, you are alert, very alert and aware. By the way, the most unwashed washed story I think I've ever heard on the pods. But it's washed. If you know, you can't hang. And I also think
this is the biggest wash factor about it. I was ready for this party for three weeks. Oh, it wasn't a music festival. It was just a Brooklyn little night out, like and I am like hyped about it. I made the dinner plans three weeks before. I picked my outfit three weeks before. I'm like, we're gonna go out, and then literally to the point where that Sunday the party was on Saturday. I'm told my man, on Sunday, we
shouldn't never drink tonight. We're gonna drink on Saturday. Who if I think that's crazy, thank you?
I mean, but I do that, Like on Sundays in Atlanta, I'll be ready to do my little my little run, and my little run is a little it's a run to.
Where I have to take a nap. So my nap is normally at like six thirty. Ooh, I wake up about sam thirty s four to five, didn't get ready, Then I'll head out to eat. That's so I go to eat like eight thirty because they don't leave it like nine thirty. I like to be a whiskey mistress.
That's the one we've talked about on Patreon where it's like Nike text suits and Fedoras, but it's like the older crowd of niggas that like just still ain't giving up the streets.
But I like going there because I go there and it's just free drink.
Scalore Okay, So I go there from it closes it twelve, So I go there from like ten ten thirty to like a LAMB forty five. Then next door is the mc cat, so I go there and keep drinking. But that's normally like every Sunday, three spots as long as I'm in Atlanta.
And now I'm telling the whole world where I be, bitch I be, I've been there. Yeah, do you know what it used to be my repertoire? This was Meyer girl. I was okay, this me five years ago, Me and my girl girl. They know what you was doing five years ago with the ampless podcast. You ain't got a lot. No, I'm not going through my full night okay, so boom. I would start the night I have a cock til somewhere in the LS, not last nap, because you gotta
go like at a certain time. But you can't go like midnight back in the day when it was lit, because that's all the people that listen to podcasts and shit. You gotta go for the neighborhood people. Around nine forty five, then I'll walk over have my late night dinner at Lucienne. The new kids do dime Square Ladiv. I'm an old school in New York Bay okay, okay. So I was doing Lucien and then I'm like, okay, it's midnight time.
Where are we gonna go for a little she she I'd hit up the blonde that was my little soho Jam Paul's baby Grand Gold Room Boom. Then about two thirty, I'm tired of shit and now I need niggas. So that's when I used to go before everybody was at Dumbala to buttons capizually sometimes and then I was like, okay, tune, niggas done me in here. Now I gotta go, so then I would have a little small stint in Booker,
Brooklyn Mirage or whatever afters was in Brooklyn. I like to go to the little home of the after parties. You ever been to one of them? Like a little lombarda.
That's crazy what you never even know who got money. I don't believe you after parties because I'm washed. I'm going home.
I'm going I don't throwly make it to the app. I'll be in there at eight in the morning. Let Nicki Minaj come on, niggas on the table.
I be.
I be lit by this. It's like the drug dealing. That's the thing I do. I do liquors. So I be so lit to where it's like ooh, bitch, slurring stumble it time to go home. Yeah, like this is upper material. Yeah you do no, no, no, no, like like we're not doing drugs every weekend. But I don't. I don't drink that. You don't drink like that, bitch. I'm we're doing shots. If I drink that much, I can't. I ain't gonna last. So let me tell you. I see you ride a club closing at four.
I want to tell you because y'all know, we haven't been in the studio for a while. So there's a nigga that was around that y'all didn't really know about. But grand opening, grand closing. So I met a guy at the MTK.
And you go there a lot. Don't know what it is, y'all.
I have a type and it's not even aesthetics. This nigga too had a PhD. So in twenty twenty five the theme was niggas with PhD?
What is the look? I don't know. I'll show you a pick. Well, I don't even know if I have a picture of him. I think I do.
I have a screenshot of him because somehow he ended up on someone else's page and I said, nigga, I don't even have your social media, but yet somehow you ended up on.
A picture of I'll show you him. I'll show you him.
Anyways, so he had he had very long locks, cute down his back, really smart, had money, no kids and that was the problem, no kids, and I think he was very traditional. So anyways, I met him at the spot that I go to all the time, so almost every other time I go there, I run into him.
And it was the thing where once we.
Saw each other, we would stand by each other the rest of the night. He would get me drinks. We're locked in. We'd either go to a diner after or you know, whatever the case may be. Right However, even wish I even spent my birthday with him.
He bought a table with yet girl, girl, your birth my birthday girl. Anyways, So the last time I just saw him, I was lit, but I was in my feelings and I had to let I had to let him know. I said, hey, this has to stop now.
When we see each other, it could be a head nod or a deuces, but let's we don't gotta do this every time me see each other. And the reason it got there is because the last two times he's seen me, mind you, he did the same thing that scientists they did. The first mind you we met, probably back in March, he found out I didn't want kids, and he ghosted me, stopped hitting me.
Then when we saw each other.
Again, he came back around, and then we had the conversation about me being non monogamous. Hey, girl, when I tell you, he just couldn't. It's it's like he was so amused by me, but also like really confused by me at the same time, and so as we like kept going, when we would get together and be intimate, I guess I would say things about like how I want us to be mind you, I got my boyfriends now, like, nigga, you don't wait it too long.
I got niggas down, and I'd let him know.
And it just got to the point where I kind of started feeling judged by him because I didn't want kids, and so we would have bro drunk as fuck. Bro, I'm on shrooms, I'm lit. Why are we at two o'clock in the morning talking about how I don't want kids?
And so because he wants you to don't want to have kids. He wants me to want me to have kids.
He wants to believe that I'm gonna change my mind. He wants to believe that he could make me change my mind because a part of him liked me. But he's like, so this is how you are, yes, nigga, this is how I am.
Is who I say as someone who doesn't want kids, I think you could appreciate as someone who wants kids. Imagine if I met someone I was in love with and they didn't want kids. And then I had a child with them, how I would feel all the time in the back of my head, Damn, you didn't really fuck with them. Oh no, I vacuum would have been pulled out with him. I ain't even gonna hold you. I don't want kids. But I'm not saying, like the way you're trying to make someone like this thing.
It's not even that he was I'll be honest at that point, do you think that's.
The thing with him?
I literally the last time I was with him, I said, we can stop doing this. I don't want to talk to you anymore. When we see each other, we can be cordial. But also I was like, you cock block him, because now every time we see each other at the spot, we stay by each other for the rest of the night. And I was like, you don't like how I am.
You like the idea of me, but you keep waiting every time we talk for me to change who I am in my mind, and I'm like, no, this isn't who I am, Like, I'm not who you want me to be.
And so I was like, we can stop the back and forth. And I literally had to just cut them off.
And it was interesting because I was talking to my friends about it, and they were like, dang, but like we liked him, you know you liked him.
And I was like, yeah, but does he like me?
And so what I found last year he said almost the same thing verbatim as scientists bay. When I had mentioned that I didn't want kids, their like response was, so you just want to be a hope for the rest of your life.
And I was like, both of them they didn't say it like that, but that soish.
That's how I was like, because they were so confused, what kind you want to be a hope for the rest of your life?
No, that's when the fuck I heard, bitch, And I was like, no, like, I'd still want to partner I'm looking for. Like it's weird because.
When I asked them, and this is this is the conversation that I found more interesting when I asked them why they wanted to be fathers because they're both like thirty six thirty seven, make jobs all over two hundred k. They nice cars, nice spots, they be out every weekend doing the things right. But they're both ready right now
to be a father. And when I ask both of them why they want to be a dad, it's so interesting, And ladies, if you're talking to a man with no kids who's like now wanting to be a dad, I was like, so, what makes you want to be a father?
Bro? Both of them damn near set the same carry on my last name, fucking legacy, fucking carry on my last name. And I was like, yeah, yeah, we too. Hope your son is a fucking professor. Do you know what's crazy about that? Those needs? So I'm asking and I'm I'm like, okay, so that's it.
He was like yeah, Like, because my life's not really going to change that much, but I want to be a dad. And I said, that is the most crazy, most selfish bullshit, because guess whose life is going to change. The woman's like, I have friends right now, like I love Deandra and we talk about it so much. She's like, I'm having to relearn myself as a whole person because I'm a whole new person now that I'm a mom.
My life is different. I can't just get up and go. I can't.
And it's crazy that men could be like, well, I want to be a dad because I want to be a dad. It's like they just want to wear the title. But they don't like really have the idea of how it will change their lives because they have the option and opportunity for it not to impact or change that.
I actually had a guy ask me why I wanted to be a mom who didn't want children. Okay, and it was first day conversation. I don't even really remember his name. I remember where I was. We were having a cocktail at the public rooftop. And when he said he didn't want kids, there must have been a look that I had that immediately turned you off. And he's like, you need to like your life, you have to be I was like yes, and he said, well, why do you want children? I said, to be honest with you,
even as a young adult, there's something missing. I know that I need to get my life in a financial place and in a healthy mental place to be a mom. But there's absolutely something missing because a lot of bitches I here fucking with like fucking broke I know, and haven't babies broke it Having babies without getting themselves together. People think because like, you'll eventually have them. No, That's why I believe in a worship. But basically what I said to him was I would like to extend my
family beyond me and that partner. And I also really crave the desire to learn and grow and teach someone that's, you know, an extension of me. And he said to me, I meet women that want kids all the time, and I feel like that's the only answer that I can't combat. If you know it's something you've wanted forever, right the point where you're prepping for it, I have nothing that we can go back and forth about. He said. What I do go back and forth about is women that
say I was born to be a mom. He's like, I feel like that's a woman's answer where a man's answer is legacy. He's like, the second I hear women say that, I'm like, no, you were born to think you should be a mom? And how and why? Yeah? But like, is that your true desire? And I think when it comes to creating and wanting family, the reason I respect those who don't want children so much is because I really believe too many people are parents and shouldn't be, and we are so critical of those who
shouldn't be parents. I know some fuck niggas and women that are terrible moms, and I feel like, what is the point just to say you did it. Or I'm that age, like if you want to do something just to say you did it, jump out a plane and sky dies. I've heard a friend of mine say it was some shark as an excuse to not wanting to have an abortion. I mean, we're both in love, we're mid thirties.
Okay, bringing a baby because yeah, it's just interesting me. For this episode, I did want to talk about a few things. So I have a list for tops and bottoms. Let's see, for people like me, you like this, sell y'all for top sip bottoms this week. I went through because this was a thing that like, really like, I felt a way about it. So I went through and found cities with the fewest children and the most adults without kids.
Now, this could work both ways.
These could be cities where they don't have kids so they're maybe looking to have kids, or cities that don't make you feel guilty for not having kids.
I'll say for not make you feel guilty. I'm looking at this list so.
For me, and when we get to the bottom list, I think that being in New York is like through my twenties and my thirties, New York was not only a former birth control but I never felt like I was missing out by not having a family because so many of our peers don't have kids.
Actually, one thing that my mom noticed when she was in New York. So we brought my mom here for Christmas. It was just the three of us all week. And my mom has always talked about moving to New York, moving back, moving back. She's like, yeah, I can't do it. I'm I'm actually too old to live here. It's a little too hard to get around, the hard life. And she's like, just to go because my mom, we're making
Christmas dinner. Let's just go run and get I think I want to get green peppers and blah blah blah. And I'm like, okay, well, hooleful, it's fifteen minute walk. But I mean, I guess you can get in a cap She's like, I'm not gonna get a cab for I order. It's frames ain't gonna just be delayed, right, So then my man's got to jump in the car. But then once he jumps in the car to take her,
what you gotta do when he comes back? Fine, parky bitch, And New York is not easy, and so She then said to me, what are you going to do when you have the baby? Like, what are you going to do? And I'm really mad that she raised that up, because if y'all been listening to the show, you would know my happy relationship only as one little issue, not bitches niggas. It ain't money, it's where the fuck are we going to live? Where are we going to live?
When I about to really live by coastal but talks a bottom. Here is a list of these cities with the fewest children or the most adults without kids.
Okay, let's see this list, all right.
We have number one San Francisco, California, which to me makes sense.
Because all the gays. Oh what, all right? San Francisco has one of the highest rents because it has such an influx for startups. So then it's like, okay, man, she said, the homeless, the gays, I mean science. Okay. The second one is Seattle, Washington. I don't know that's somebody. I like Seattle.
No, no, no, I actually like Seattle. It's one of my favorite cities in the US. I love it anyway, So you would go there? I actually want to go there to like, Yeah, I want to do a weekend that's not work.
I love it. Me and Vinnie had a blast on the Piero dub work. I don't love Seattle hours to go home. I gotta tell you the second we went out, I love it, like the time she was living in Boston, living in New York going there, bitch, No, I like the whorehive there that even they don't want to be there. But see that's what listen. Okay.
Next city is Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, followed by Scottsdale, Arizona. I don't know where daily City, California is either. The next one interesting but not surprising, Boston, Massachusetts.
Now, a few weeks ago, Boston.
Massachusetts was the city that was the easiest, one of the cities where you can get laid the easiest.
But someone made a comment on that episode.
It said it has the most colleges, so technically, if all those people are in college, yeah, it makes sense that they don't have kids, followed by uh. Following Boston is Columbia, South Carolina. Then Madison, Wisconsin, maybe because don't nobody live there, bitch, Wisconsin. Then Tallasey, Florida, also another
college town, and then San Diego California. Now City is often cited by communities as friendly or popular for childless adults include New York City, Atlanta, Georgia, Austin, Texas, and Baltimore Mailand probably because Baltimore dangerous child people don't want to add kids.
Baltimore, you know, looking at the ones that are childless adults. Austin, Texas also is another startup, startup tech place, so it's probably people that are going there to, like, I feel like their careers. They're more career focused, not you like Austin. Oh, I've never been. I've never been to Austin. I have a lot of do you know how I feel about Austin. Okay, it's the same Portland thing and it's a Seattle thing too. Okay, it's the cities with white people. This like maybe that's
why I don't go. That give liberal, but it still gives like where are the black people? Like Austin is hella white? So I went to Austin for southwest south southwest and afro Tech was afro Tech in Austin. Bitch, I ain't go to eat the I don't know because someone why the fuck was on Austin, Texas? No, No, no, it was. It was two years ago. Was now they do Houston, but it wasn't Houston now. Yeah. So I remember the first time I went, I was like, oh my gosh, all this is a vibe. Maybe then I
don't like city. I had to go another time for work, and then by south By south By. So while there, I noticed all the establishments had all those little Black Lives Matter stickers and the rainbow stickers, like we're welcome, we're friendly. But then I go to Soho House. Almost everybody had a cowboy hat on Mandy, and it really gave like we'll call you one if you weren't in this room. Oh I'm not gonna lie.
That's why the sex club experience and the sex spaces in Atlanta in the deep cell, Baby, dem Whites is different than the ones here in New York. Baby, it looks like they have Confederate flags on their pickup trucks. Right outside. I saw him, Man, I don't want to be around them. Time white regular just walk with a horse, not walking the horse. Maybe he was taking the horse out for a shit. Me and my boy MoMA, we was walking down the street. He said, oh, baby, we have to go back to New York.
Oh no, I was. Let me tell you, I was with my little blue last night. Who I don't worry about it. Don't worry about what I'm saying. It's this quarter zip, quarter zip? Okay, quarter zip? Happens? Hold zip? Hey?
What?
AnyWho? So?
Where outside? And you you saw the picture of him. So we're in an elevator and he's tall, taw like, handsome guy.
Bro.
We get in the elevator and it's white people, and Bro, as soon as we get in, this white man starts touching his shoulders and it's like, look at this big one. Oh, like, Bro, you would think he wanted to auction my nigga off. Bro, I was, I was this close. I was this close, bro, And where were you smiling? Going up the elevator in my hotel and bruh, he's grabbing it. He's clearly drunk, but he's like.
You a big one, You a big one, You a big motherfucker, but like grabbing his arms and like like touching on him, like if this was this out, he's like, I would have bought you niggle, like that's what it was given. And I was so mad and we couldn't tell where he was from. He's clearly not a New Yorker. So he goes, where are you from? Man? This is the only thing that changed the subject. Are you ready we're from Orlando? I said. I said me too.
So he's like, no, what part bitch the god bitch bitch. He was like, oh, what par are you from? I said, Oh, I grew up on Oak Ridge. That's out of town. He's like, oh, we're from a Popka.
What did it?
So we just started talking and it's the only thing that got him from like looking like the way he was talking to him, like he was just a beautiful black specimen that he was like, you picked.
My cotton, boy? Like it was. I almost like.
So when we got off the elevator, I was like, bro, if that nigga didn't say he was from Orlando, I was this close to being like it was so uncomfortable these white people.
It still didn't help it. You don't know what it is, bro, I was just like.
So we ended up going back downstairs for some drinks and he was down there again and I said that he better not do that shit again, you know, but he you ready weird a little even worse. I kept walking he pounded him up and like introduced him to his other white friend.
And I was just like the way they even like pounded his chest, like he was like one of theirs. I was like, I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. Almost our entire euro trip, especially in Italy, maybe once a day someone took a picture of my boyfriend. I don't like it. It's so and they both have dreads. But I don't know. But and mind you, he's he's like, also, hello, I'm here as well.
And I feel like he was out of town right because it's like we've been to Thailand a lot Thai people in different Asian countries have been fascinated by certain things. Half of my Thailand trip behind my out and I think a lot of people were like wanting to look or interested or wanted to see her. Bro I'm sorry, you're bringing it to a fucking Asian country. No, no, no, I'm bringing you in being somewhere out these white being somewhere else. I feel like it's more tolerable. Nah, bitch,
that you got to teach them niggas are history. I don't really know that you know what happened in the us the Bay weird, But I learned about slavery in other countries. No, and I don't think they give a fuck do they edit don't they don't learn about slavery. I mean, we learned about the Home pol We learned about it, but we learned about the Vietnamese War. Did you see the clip of the black dude? We learned by interviewing the woman who didn't know nigga was a
bad word. And you don't know that she was kind of sexy the little Arabic ground. She's like, yeah, what am I saying? What do you mean? I hate it and I love He was like it, bitch, it's a very American thing, too low key, Like, don't be knowing that I hate it?
Anyways, because you guys are probably looking for love in the twenty twenty six.
In the twenty six twenty six, I want to.
Shout out our producer for this segment. So our reactionary comes from Barry Oo and Tier. He sent me a clip of a guy saying these are the questions that will give you all the answers you.
Need on a date. And I want to know if you agree with him.
Okay, Well, he said these are the only five questions if you really want to know what you want to know about a nigga, like if you're married, if y'all are compack, if you're married, you got you gotta ask, bro at this what I ain't going?
No, you know what a question? Does any woman think she's your girl? No? No, no, no, you got to ask if these niggas married? Okay, okay, here we go check number three.
Oh wait, let me on too heavy on some of these first dates. Let me give you five light first date questions and you can still find out what you want to find out, just in a lightweight Number one. What's a perfect weekend for you? That's a lifestyle check? Number two, planner or go with the flow type person? That's a compatibility check. Number three? What are you into right now? That's an interest check? Number four? How do you like to communicate?
That's asking?
Then finally, what's a green flag you look for? That's a value checkat These are five light questions you can ask on the first date.
What do you think is the most important? One? For me? It's for me it is I like the how do you like to communicate?
Because when you first start meeting someone, I don't think people realize how quickly you create a pattern and how you're going to move forward talking.
So like.
Sorry, like with actor Bay, our first way that we started talking was FaceTime moving forward, that's how we communicated. It was always on FaceTime, whether we were on the phone for ten minutes or on the phone for three hours. And then there's been other partners where we only.
Communicate via text to where they don't even feel like they have to pick up a phone call because that's not how you communicate.
So for me, I think how do you communicate is a really important one. But also starting those out early.
So ladies, if you like to talk on the phone with a man that you're in a relationship with, and you really like a guy that you just met, you probably immediately need to start the habits of him answering your calls of y'all talking on those phone is actually very toxic for me to say, but I actually don't care how you like to communicate. No, I that's why I but that's what I'm saying in it.
As a woman, if you like a man communicating with you a certain way, it's important to a ask that question. But started out the gate if you like to be on the phone with your man, don't turn it into multiple conversations via text, because a man is going to get comfortable texting you.
So for me, out of those things, actually, point blank, no matter how serious relationship could be, if it's only in text, I actually find it to be a little bit of an afterthought.
I think that, oh yeah, and if you good relationship urgent like me, oh bitch, depending on what mood I'm in at that very moment that you text me, not even the tone. For me, I get in these things where I'll see a message, and depending on how my brain at the very moment is operating, I just won't respond.
It doesn't matter how much I even like them. I get anxiety by certain text messages and things, and so if I'm not in the mood to text, I won't and I'll go back to my phone and then answer like five or six at a time, but I go I have sense where I don't want to communicate, so to me, a phone call will get you an immediate I even answer emails before texts.
I don't do well with text messages that are a little too open and did like, hey, what am I gonna do? With this, like what they hid back? No, like, what do you want? Start the hey? The thing to say I need this. I think that's like a nudge. Then do what you want need to do. But the hey doesn't get responses from me. But you're also not dating right now. I guess you have your partners, so it's a little different. I mean, but you childly, you thought the women that you want to eat they kuchi girl.
Let me tell you something that's been a twenty twenty five thing that's continuing. I would say this is the most I've ever kept a relationship private and the things that I do. However, I believe my relationship is so successful because whatever I share, I like go over for real, and I've been able to leave situations and scenarios out.
Oh I told you that's what I would do, like moving forward. That's why I like y'all here a little bit over on the Patreot. But the way I'm navigating my like, I am actually being way more considerate with what I share on here, Like I have to ask first, can I share, Like even ask my mama.
You see, I just asked my whole girl I could share her tea on my fame like we listen and we just it's actually been fun. What it's really been fun for is like the Turks and Kkos thing a few weeks ago. My friend isn't really When I got industry friends, may hey, no, and then my other friends were like, whatever, as long as they don't this isn't real to them. No, as long as they don't know, Like, but uh, what I was gonna say for mine would
be the perfect weekend I have five Okay. The largest issue to me that I never clocked while falling in love with somebody was hospital Dick. We were completely incompatible in our leisure time and what we like to do, the way that the rate I like to go out, whether it be travel, how I like to spend time when someone's a homebody. I never really got to learn that because we were falling in love dating being out.
He worked in hospitality, so I was seeing him out in that way a lot, but that wasn't necessarily something he liked to do all the time, and so that, however I asked that question in the last few years of my dating life, hasn't made it successful for him.
Oh yeah, no, for sure, Like that's what I like about quarters, Like he he came here to New York for Christmas, which is why I couldn't last minute get his ass to join me in Curis Out. But then also like, he'll like just go to Miami for a weekend and he'd be pushing on his close friends and he had the little thoughts dancing. I said, Oh, you lit nigga, Like he does game nights, he does things that I enjoy doing.
He travels, he gets out the fucking house. I also like to know that you're doing shit that I like to do before you met me. Like, I like that too, introducing to somebody to things. It's cool, but like, eh, I kind of liked now, don't get me wrong, I don't want you to know all my moves. Like one of my homegirls just posted on her close friends and I laughed about it because I was like, yeah, bitch, you're meeting them there. She's like, I just ran into
three dudes I dated. New York is too small, and I'm like, no, bitch, New York is too small. You hit raise, you're hitting up the same shit, and you bringing niggas to the same shit you like to do. How many times can you go to dumballa with your homegirls, meet a guy at Dumbala with your homegirls, and then go to Dumbala looking for a new nigga. Oh, I ain't gonna hold you.
That's how I felt the last time I went to f C k W. Chall said, oh, not three niggas here.
I don't fuck uh bitch, gotta go, And I did. I spoke to all of them. But what's crazy is what's crazy is I was like, this is how I know I'm shallow.
They were the only three niggas in the whole establishment that I would have even talked to. Well, duh, they're my type, but no one else was even my type. So I was like, ain't nobody else?
You know, whenever I go out with my like lit la homegirls and we go to a spine, like damn, he looked good, She's like, you know I already got that nigga. You like that?
Oh, I let my friends know you can have him now, like especially like one of them I fucked when I lived up here. He lives in Atlanta now and I'll be seeing him out and I'd be like, I be like my friends, olt girl, his.
Dick is biggest fuck. He just laying so I don't like when he talked, like, just shut up. Okay, you know what, just smile with your dimples.
And I.
Recently told my man about a friend of mine. He was like, she did that. That's some weird ass hater shit. Okay, it was weird hater shit. Okay. So one of my homegirls. This is a very old story, but I brought it up to him because it was relevant in our conversation at the time. This when I lived in Hell's kitchen. She was crashing out bottle Baby, and I didn't know what he looked like. I think because they met at a club or something. Yeah, I'd never seen him, but
she was just super upset about him. A year later, I meet a nigga on Tinder. Because I was on Tender back then, I get I don't talk to her all the time. So by third or fourth date, her and I link up for cocktails and I'm sharing with her what he looks like and I have the tender profile. Okay. She's like, oh my god, that's one oak guy. I was like, oh shit. She's like, did you fuck him already? And I'm like no, but did you No? I didn't, okay,
And she's like well, I don't care. His dick was little anyway, it was like some gummy shit and like he was just whatever. He was act confused, and I'm like, okay, you sure you know my life. She's like no, so boom, she knows I'm meeting up with him on Saturday, because before this whole thing happens. I'm like, okay, well, let me talk about new nigga. Sturday we linking out, We got a hotel. A Saturday comes, she calls me at
like three pm with some huge issue. She really needs advice, she really needs someone to talk to, and I'm just like, she know I'm going out with this nigga, and we have our whole hotel date plan. We're gonna be on the Upper East Side doing our all day and staying at a hotel by the park, obviously because he's ready to fuck. So I'm like, yo, I know why she doing this shit because you know I'm about to link with this nigga and she's just trying to catch She's
just trying to get some tea. So boom, Well, I have sex with him and I don't mention her to him. The next day we wake up, I'm like, yo, have you ever met that you fucked him? And then asked him if you fucked up because I didn't want it to be like weird for him because she didn't give a fuck. It was a year ago. He claims she ain't give a fuck, but she she was a your
phone trying to deter the date people be live. I didn't want to bring her up to him because it felt to like my friend says da da da, And I didn't know what kind of mess and she's a little messy. Next day, I'm like, you know, He's like, now she does have a people have her name. But I was like, I was like, she does X, y Z, and he's like, oh yeah, she's a cool girl. I was like, oh, did you guys date and he goes nope. I'm like, really, I told you it's the D word.
But dating is so different for different people. Bro, the word date is crazy. We got to eliminate that word twenty six way way because I know because I agree, we have to clarify. And you and I have been potted now and every time you say date, I'm like, bro, it ain't dat. So I said to him, hate the word date. Are you sure you didn't date. He's like, like, we're doing I said, yes, like we're doing he said no, no, no, I'm like okay. He's like, I'm assuming you must have
talked to her about me. I said, well, I went out with her, showed her a photo of you, and I just realized and she said, Yo, Dick was gummy. Were you honest with him? No, but I said, I said, she told me that. She said, Yo, Dick is gummy. That ain't even good. Wait this way me and my mom. So I said yes, I shared with her, like your profile, and I'm excited and he's like, oh yeah, she cool, and I'm like, so she seemed really upset at the year. I remember, like when y'all met. He was like, I
would see her in the club. I used to get tables all the time, back in the day when Apple Spot was open. And maybe we slept together one time, he said, can't even remember. Maybe we slept together, he said. The reason he couldn't remember, He's like, we were really was gummy. He said, we were really fucked up. And there was other people there. He's like, I don't even
want to, you know, make you feel uncomfortable. But another girl she knew was probably there too, and I'm like, oh, he's like, so I don't remember if I fucked her or a friend, bitch, mind you, here's why the ship was tea. She said his dick was gummy and he was lame. He was this bick ass dick, bitch, big, beautiful, veiny, nice chocolity dick. To be fair, the dicks that we get as women are not all created equal. Like the dick that I get ain't gonna be the dick that another bitch get.
If you feel me, like I told you my number one day told me, I'll make his dick the hardest, So like I can fuck somebody and think the dick is amazing, and my homegirl, fuck it is.
She has a completely different experience because she's said gummy and small. No.
But but if they were lit like he said, because he doesn't remember, Bro, we talked about handy dick. We talked about dicks that like sometimes the man doesn't get hard over anxiety. There's performance anxiety. There's all these things like dick that you get ain't gonna be the dick that I get.
Okay, right first, I agree, But what I do think when a girl says, where you just said, oh, you can fuck to your homegirls. We have to start. If you know it's really a problem, bitch, you need to speak now or hold jo people. Well, no, it's to be a problem. Take it up with your therapist, go to the lady. Because the nigga that you didn't really talk to very long, he didn't even say y'all de worded. Then that means worded. Bro, we gotta do d word that. I don't want to say date in twenty twenty six.
But if it's a guy that ended up not being nothing, you might want to appen it didn't work out for you. We gotta also work on not not making our friends miss out on their so many.
I also there, I completely agree with that, and I also just really want to say I think that the larger issue from it came because when me and my man is digging into it, did you ever tell her that, by the way, was good. The reason when I tell her that Dick was big long time, I told her shit because I was just like, oh, he was really hating. The reason it came up is because she did some other hater shit and I was like, baby, I gotta tell you about some shit. The hell did a few
years ago. But you the first word like casual, Like it's not like we're not dogs. But one of the things that we clocked in that moment, he was like, oh, you approached the conversation by saying the nice dates the nigga took you on, how y'all were getting along? Mind you, we maybe even on three or four dates. And one of the conversations that was going on was where we want to travel to and he's like, okay, let's do
a little mini vacation here in the city. He's like, if this bitch couldn't get him to give her a call back.
So this is so funny that you bring this up. Let me tell you about a conversation that I literally had last night. So mea corns that we're talking about, Like, he was asking me a lot about my other boyfriends, and then I was asking him about the last person that he was seeing.
So he shows me a picture. She cute.
She not me, but she's cute. But it was so crazy because I was like, well, why did y'all stop talking? And mind you, I had to tell him about himself. So I said, well, why did y'all stop talking? And he said, well, we met at a bar and she lived nearby he lives. He lives out of Sandy Springs, and so they were like seeing each other. I was like, okay, and so what happened? He was like, she started getting like an attitude with me. It really weird with me, because she would.
Like want to link, like as I'm leaving her, she'd want to be like, when am I seeing you again?
And he was like, bro, we were just kicking it, like they weren't. They weren't going on dates, but they were fucking.
And so she the last time he went to her house, she got an attitude with him because she was like, well, when can I see you again? I want to see you this date. And he was like, I don't plan for pleasure. He was like, I'll let you know. Hold on. He was like, I'll let you know how I feel that day if we could see each other. But like, I don't want to plan, Like that's weird. Like I could wake up and not want to fuck. I could wake up and not be in a good mood. And
he started having all these excuses. So I'm listening to what he said to her, and I was like, how old was she around my age? Bruh. I told him.
I said, you know, you want to know what's crazy. We knew we were going to be together today. I knew we were gonna be together the last time. We kicked it because we made plans. You planned pleasure for me because you fuck with me. And I said, a woman my age knows when a nigga either likes them or does it. And I said, I couldn't imagine right now at my big age telling the man I want to see him to give him pussy, and he's saying, I don't know if I'm gonna want it that day,
I'll let you know. I said, that's literally you telling her you not pressed to be around her. You not pressed the fuck her.
You're not even willing enough to pencil her into your schedule because you're really not that interested because something else may come up, because.
Someone else may come up, or you just really not She's not a priority. And I said, when a woman gets that type of response, it's she's smart, because a lot of you bitches be dumb. If a nigga says I don't know if I'm gonna want to fuck you two days from now, I'll let you know.
He's just not that interested.
So the fact that in his mind he was like, I'm not the type of person that plans for pleasure, I said, oh, nigga, we both said we was excited about fucking right, Oh, we could go.
And the other thing, too, is how women crash out on realizing you can do those things for the women like no. And that's the thing I heard. If he wanted to, he would, and he normally will and does with other women. Just not you. Do you know what else a woman who's smart enough knows a nigga saying I don't plan for pleasure.
Nigga, you telling me when them niggas go over to dr for the forty five dollar pussy, they not getting they standing already, so fuck them forty five dollars prostitutes. Like a man will go on a vacation and plan to have fun. A man will literally plan to fly a woman in or fly out to go see someone. Men plan and are excited about being around people that they're excited around being.
And the problem is we accept these crumbs mainly because I did. Let's be very clear. When I was talking to him, I was like, ill you mean to tell me? You you the type of nigga that only want to give her dick when you want to give.
Her tick, and she just got to accept that, and I was like, that was me, bitch. I used to only see a nigga when he flew.
Me out with star Like. I was like, ew, that was me, just literally.
Nick when a nigga made himself available to give me dick, and I was like, oh my god, yuck.
And as I was saying it out loud, I said, oh, bitch, I'm glad I grew. I'm glad I learned, because I don't know if you know in terms of what their relationship is, if it's strictly fucked buddy shit. Well I think he wanted that. But after fucking with somebody four or five times, most women, where are we going from here? Yeah, you gotta get him out of the house. Pebbie, where are we going from here? You ain't going nowhere?
That even that, it was so interesting, Like it's funny because when I first backwards, Zip, I was like, we need to meet at a bar. I'm not just pulling up to your house. And so I did my little espresso martini flight. And then the next time he cooked me that little shrimp off right on his cue.
Dude, I give up a pissy first. Oh no, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I was like, oh, not mind you. It was I didn't know it was a TikTok thing, but she made me to marry me Pas Shrimp and Paul. Oh my god. I was like, these fucking young niggas, bitch, I just married me chicken. I've married me he he I'm thinking he just we was married to the toilet. I said, I married me chicken.
I'm gonna lie. He put a lot of seasons and that, and I felt real old because I said, you know the reflux, bitch, I said, God damn know some casus seasons on they God damn shrimp. No, God, that was a wash thing. But I'm sitting here with bind you. But I told you what I did, like. I told you what I did like huh.
I stood up naked after we fucked, and he asked me if I had a BVL and I said, no, baby, this.
Is this is grown woman body. Baby, there's a grown woman body. Okay, keep cooking that, marr. This is what happened when you deal with a bitch of a decade older than you. Okay, you know, I think young niggas they love a little thing. No, no, no, no. If they're dealing with a bitch, there's mid thirties they like are they Oh it's a whole new thing. But yellow untie. Oh no, I saw that. I saw ed. Did you
see the internet saying that that that BBO. Now show what generation you're in, because it's like the thirty and forty year olds have the BBL. I feel like that makes sense because it was our era. We were too talking about starlets. When I was like saying that there was a guy that was always eating women at Starlets. Bro went to starlets. I'm gonna tell you right now, I knew from every BBL, every makeup style, everybody. It was. If they can't even do young, oh no, it already looked.
Like that, it's thirty. I would say it's thirty three to forty three. Those are the bitches that literally all went to the same doctor.
They was a yield. They d r done thirty and under. I know, I'd say, you like, there's also I say twenty eight. You know how there's like young fashioned niggas Like the Drew Ski video. He's like, yeah, this is come to girl, and this is like rick Like how they wear low ski mask. The bitches got that too, the ones that wear the fucking micro skirts with the thong. Oh yeah, no, no, no, they dress. They dressed like Y two K Christina. There's a young horror and there's an old horror.
No there is then there's Oh when I go out when they when they all look like they're just like Tyler. They got the furry boots with the little mini skirts, with the little I'm like this, bitch twenty four. But I could tell the old holes because they're still bringing out the goddamn cruel summers. They got the giuseppies deep in their closets. Bitch, I could tell, Oh, ho are they out with the cruels? I've seeing them dnngs, girl, don't do that.
Hold on. I like my dnng's home, Okay, I like a little dough chackabye, bitch, oh hoole shit, oh shit, don't take about it. Actually, o hos like Bendy like they like the label. They like the lame luxury house. You get a young hole. Now she's into the me stuff like they want the non label. Fucking alayah ayah ship. Yeah, they like that we're fuck the young ho I'm riding because we fucking on the same niggas. Bitch. Anyway, Uh, let's go ahead and wrap this up. How we want
to wrap this up. Let people know that we got mashed over on the Patreon. Oh, I'm like girl the way we always do it. Oh yeah, Hey, that much of a New Year, new mead, bitch, just because to me is new year, new hairstyle. Well, bitch, I'm still the same bitch o Okay it is.
Anyways, If you guys want more bonus content, head on over to our patreon this patreon dot com backslash Hoid Decisions. Also, if you haven't yet, make sure you order our book, No Holds Barred by the way. It is available right now for pre order for the soft cover. And if you that's crazy, and if you want the signed edition, head on over to Simon and Schuster dot com. Search the book and they have the signed copy there that you can give.
Out tots on it, you know.
And if you want to listen to more of me talk some shit, check out Selective Ignorance every Tuesday and Friday. And if you're in Atlanta you can catch me on Saturdays from six to eight on Hot one of us seven not.
Uh, you want to tell them all you think you're in New York City coming visit trap House. It's not just reformer pilates and lifting anymore. Now we got yo. She said she kicked that white man out from upstairs. She owned the building. I have to call the police on myself, bitch, because who turn it? Yeah, I bet I was in there the doom this morning. I was like, that's crazy if you just swore he was a racist. Mandy. Yeah, I know you have two Latina trainers. It's very trap
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Thank you for listening. This is another episode of This is the Own You