EP. 431: The Problem With Ordering Fajitas, Good Nut, & Fertility Rituals

Welcome to Decisions Decisions. I don't think you should say decision decisions. It sounded like you was talking to Kirsty. You definitely say to welcome, welcome to the new podcast.

Oh wait, you want to say together decisions decisions.

How are sow?

Welcome to decisions Decisions and scene.

I'm your girl, mandyb I'm weezy, and all I want to know is did you meet Denzel?

I didn't get to meet Denzel, and I was so sad. But let me.

Tell you how to hold everything in me to not literally lean forward and go like this, because that's how close I was to the stage. I had an inner moment of being like, Okay, bitch, this is what you

It was you know what the line came they let you go. Yeah.

No, the actors were entering through the orchestra, so so like because they were doing that, they couldn't have people.

If you were orchestra and bitch you got up, you couldn't where it's the five hundred.

Oh by the way, I want to give a little tip to anyone if this happens again.

It's no longer on Broadway. Ended on June eighth, But if you guys.

Want to see a Broadway show and the ticket seemed to be a lot, if you have the ability for someone to just go to the box office and by the ticket.

I paid four ninety nine for my seat. I literally at it was with me.

Right after I bought it, I went on step hub to see that same row eight eighty six. So I literally saved almost four hundred dollars by getting my ticket at the box office.

Ticket master got the feed.

Y'all gotta just say okay, now, oh, I did want to say, uh huh.

If y'all listened to.

The cinema where we talked about sinners.

I felt the same, a bitch need the subtitles or was a.

Little upset that they didn't speak in modern day English.

How would they do the subtitles in a flame?

Well, bitch, I don't know what there's there's a they got listening assistance and shit. I was like, can if I could have had something to where it was broken down in like modern day talk? So here was my thing about the show. Denzel phenomenal. He was way better on this than he was the Gladiator. Like on Gladiator, I felt like, Nigga, you and Rome while you sound like you from Brownsville, Like I felt like he didn't even try to sound like I felt like we didn't even try to sound Roman, bitch.

But he sounded very Shakespeare.

However, the show took place in modern time, which was confusing. So set design, they wore US marines like costumes and stuff like that, but then the props were very dated. And then in one of the things, he was like, I'm gonna put you on a plane. So I'm like, bitch, are they in Venice and Cyprus and Shakespearean times or not? Like there was a confusion a little bit for me there, but Jake Jillhome, I ain't.

Gonna hold you.

It looked it looked heavy as I don't know, maybe it ain't. I know he say he don't watch his legs, but he did. Yeah, he came out and say he didn't watch his legs, and I was like, I watched him. For him, it looked heavy. I will say that I'm a hood boger and I'm embarrassed to say, so Othello.

For those of you who don't know.

The reason also outside of Denzel and Jake as to why I wanted to see this play on stage is not because I'm as Shakespeare buff, but one of my fever films. And y'all are just gonna laugh at this at this point at my film selection is OH based on OH was based on Othello?

Look it up, y'all.

It's with Makai Fifer and Julia Styles and so because and instead of them being like General's bitch.

Makai Fifer is the star basketball.

But so it was giving like Hamilton, how it's old in time but new school, like it felt like it shouldn't have Like I'm like like if these no, I loved it.

I didn't say I didn't like it. I just think that the set design was odd. And I'm like, if we and modern times make these niggas speak more English, like not Shakespeare in English, but like English English. So literally, as I'm watching it, did you go by yourself? I went by myself? Absolutely? And it was dope because the lady next to me was probably like seven or eighty.

She was like, I go to place all the time by myself. Which movie? Yeah, I loved it.

So for those of y'all who don't know othello, I want to give it to y'all in like a urban take, okay.

Because I felt so ghetto daring.

Act two is when all the drama takes place, and so I'm watching it like, oh no, she didn't like I'm literally like scary movies.

I'm gagged.

I'm gagged. And so basically you got a general, a black general, which was Denzel. So Denzel marries this girl, Desdemona, who's like the daughter of someone really high up right in the game, let's say that really high up. So this black general marries marries her without telling her father or anything. So the father find out and it's like, now, why you married this nigga without telling me who the

But basically we I met with Iago. Iago is looking to.

Become second in line after after Denzel's character Othello like comes down. So Iago's like his right hand man, Iago like doing everything loyal, trying to kind of brown nose his way to take Othello's position.

Well a little did this, Nigga.

No.

Othello was like, yeah, no, I'm giving a job to Cassius. So Cassius is next in line.

Iago med as fuck cause he's like, bitch, I should be next. So Iago, who's who you think is loyal? Who Othello believes to be his friend is? So is so angry and upset at Othello for not choosing him to be next in line.

That bitch.

He started putting little things in his ear, like yo, bitch sleeping with Cassius. And so we're in this like play where Othello's like, no, not my woman, Cassius. Cassius didn't do that to me, mind you. Cassius over there fucking on a little woman of the night. He got a hold, Jezebel, a little hope or whatever. Basically, Iago start setting little things, put some shit in Cassius's room.

Othello finds out.

He's like, there's no way that would end up in his room without my woman leaving it there. By the way, Mandy is saving you guys five hundre dollar because I didn't know we gonna get the whole poll.

No, it's Shakespeare. No, this ain't no spoiler. It's it's Shakespeare. So like it's it's everywhere, Like I'm just telling y'all if you can't understand Shakespeare in English, like me, just the tea. So basically, then Denzelle's heartbroken, like Cassius, you betrayed me.

Iaga, Like what you want to do?

You want me to go kill that nigga?

So then Iago set up to go kill Cassius because now he feels like this is a way for him to get the job that Cassius is about to get. So bro, he gonna send one of his niggas to go kill Cassius. He believes Cassie got murked bitch and did it. But Othello don't know that yet. All O'thello know is I can't have no Hoe as a.

Wife, Othello is Denzel, so bitch. Next scene, Othello pull up to the room his bitch sleep. He kissed her because he's like, bitch, you got to go. So she wakes up and it is literally telling him, bro, I ain't fucking Cassius.

You sitting here acting like I cheated on you.

I didn't cheat on you. I don't know why you think I cheated on you. He said, bitch, you lying. You got to go, so bitch, he literally kills that bitch.

Literally. You see her like so Othello like, yeah, I.

Ain't dating no Ho, you got to go kill her as literally he kills her.

Bitch.

Come walk in his homeboy like sorry, I know we put the hit on Cassius, but that nigga ain't die.

And he's like, well, I just killed my fucking wife. So a lot of fuck Cassius. Bit y'all did my job.

How you ain't doing your job? Uh huh. So the friend of the wife comes in and it's like.

No, not my best friend. How you kill my best friend? Fuck nigga, Oh I'm coming for you. Start yelling at motherfucking Othello and Othello, like your friend was a house.

She had to go.

Next thing, you know, he brings up the thing that got left in the room that Iago placed in Cassia's room, and the friend was like, nah, I took it.

Mind you.

The friend is Iago's bitch, So she's like, no, I took I took that thing.

She really didn't cheat on you. You just killed my friend.

And she starts saying all the ways in which she like, actually did this and is now realizing Iago did it, bitch. Iago walk over to her, slice her neck.

Bitch, you talking too much. You got to go.

So then the arms come in and it's like Iago, this fuck nigga, we know you set up to kill Cassius.

You just killed this bitch. They have him in chambers, bitch now like he's trying to get out. It looks like the Chicken man. He's trying to get out.

So everybody's in the scene now and Denzel realizes he about to go to jail.

He about to lose his little his little things.

Cassius is about to take over, and he's like, you know what, I just killed this bitch. Y'all gonna talk about me. I'm about to be disbarred now from and that's not even disbarred. What is it when you get taken out.

Of the army? So he kills himself, bitch, yes, discharged.

So he's literally like every which way that I have been an honorable man will now be ruined. I can't live on this earth as an unhonorable man, dishonorable man, whatever.

And he's like, who kill himself? So, bitch, you literally watch it.

It's like damn, everybody did and in scene and I'm just like, damn, I know I remember watching oh, and it's why I enjoyed it so much.

And I was like the same way. We have the same tropes.

With like the secretary who fucks with the man and tries to kill the wife because she now wants to be the wife role. Like y'all know the Beyonce movie that we've seen in thirty different renditions. I'm like, I don't know if it's on two b, I don't know where it's at, But I want to know why we haven't seen more renditions of modern.

Day Othello's no dude.

That ship was That ship was a tent like and it reminded me. It reminded me of like the books and and things that I used to read that had sex love betrayal, and also at the same time, how you literally could see something and completely miss it and get it wrong because of your own peripheral vision to a not believe somebody. I think like, it was literally, it's a tragedy. It's it's it's literally a tragedy. Shut the fuck up, Edden.

It's literally a tragedy. But as I was watching it, I was like, ooh, t this nigga line.

Oh, this bitch really ain't cheating, but she'd being accused of cheating, and then this nigga so heartbroken, you gonna kill her. I was like, I need, I need more of this, and so maybe I just need to read some more books.

Come out so you could understand centers. No, no, no old English was no.

Let's be very clear.

In my head, I'm like Denzel macay Pfeiffer does does Madino?

Does the Dino? Whatever? Does the Mona?

That's Julia Stiles diss the White Man with the Dark Hair in the movie.

I'm literally watching it and only know what's happening.

I'm watching it actually like the tele novella, it's given espono, it's given a language I don't understand.

I think you probably just need to watch more old movies because or like medieval times, because I was struggling in the middle the middle of Game of Thrones and then it went away.

Now I can watch anything like that.

There's different languages, there's different like at the accent different like, so once you watch it, it's like understanding Southern people. Once you down there, you start getting it, baby. But I like it, like I don't think I like Shakespearean lingo.

Like actually, like for.

The way that he was talking, and it was like, Bro, you just said all the words to say nothing bitch. I was like, we could have cut this down of like two sentences instead it was like three paragraphs.

It's so crazy how actors memorize all that shit. What's crazy about you? Seeing Othello last night? My friend had a birthday party last night and in Walks there was more like celebrities there. Jeremy o'harris walks in and the best play I've ever seen with slave play.

And he didn't know he was.

She had a party and a rooftop in Central Park, and I could tell he didn't know was somebody's birthday party.

He was just chilling. I was like this right, and she's like, I mean, is he going to take a picture? And You're like, how do you know Jeremy and her? She's like who that? And I was like, you don't understand who is it? So he's seeing my face and I'm like, jagged, bitch, did you see him?

I think I did see him. Yeah, oh my god, later in the night.

Yeah with the fro. Yeah.

Bro Let me tell you writers, directors, filmmakers, they're about to become the new ship.

I just found out.

I'm going to a party on Friday and Writing Coogler's invited. I'm trying to figure.

Out my speech. I'm not gonna bring it up unless it just so happens.

Will I have too many cocktails to where I say you can rob trains and play.

I hit him with that line that what am I.

Gonna do is everybody gonna bring it up? Am I just gonna be the one that don't bring it up?

Am I gonna like play cool and try to be like, la bitch, My nigga is gonna be there, So it's not like I'm trying to fuck. How am I gonna let this person know? I think you made one of the best movies of all time.

You can just say that.

No, I don't want bring it up or do like your rendition of sinners.

No, I gotta wash up what you mean?

Oh my god?

Okay, So I want to talk about birthdays really quick. This girl throws a birthday party my homegirl, Gabrielle.

I'm sorry, I'm not mad at him laughing. It was just a birthday. Yeah, I love this.

It's a ketchup.

Yeah, so birthdays. Friend throws a party for thirty first birthd day on a roof. She calls me this morning, and I'm sure she would repeat this story, but I think it's the same old tale as time. And I want everybody who's got a birthday coming up to hear this story and let you know you got a chill. I was like, how is your night? Because I took her mom home and my mom home. She said, girl, I am so tired. I will never do a birthday party again. I don't want to do this. At one point,

She's like, next year, I don't even I just want to do a trip with my friend. Maybe two, maybe three. Maybe I need to go myself. Like she was like, overload.

What is the thing? Is it that we don't have anything else to celebrate when we get older? Why is it that we keep planning these fucking things with all these people? Birthdays become so fucking stressful. I felt so sorry for this morning, Nandy. I literally was like, oh my god, you want to go to lunch? No, I want to go sweet, I don't need anything.

It's like the exhaustion of hosting.

A lot was going on.

I mean I've been said this, Yeah, like most of the times, I don't want to know my birthday Like yeah, he literally literally I I So. I pulled up on Eden's birthday and he wasn't DJing.

You weren't you weren't working that night. I literally just dj No, he wasn't eve DJing, but he just had everyone. He had everyone pull up.

So and this was during fashion week and I was like, oh, Edit's birthday, let me make sure I'll pull in and I pull in, and I think maybe as soon as I got there is just when the flood of his friends came in, and I remember going to the bar like, Eden, what do you want to drink? As soon as I ordered he we did our shot literally immediately, literally and I was only there for like fifteen maybe twenty minutes. He looked at me and was like, because everyone came

And he said, help me. It was bad, and I saw his face. It's a terror. Why do we do that?

I mean, she looked like she was having fun too, but I understand the sense of being overwhelmed. There's too much attention is a thing.

Doubt.

Yeah. She even said at one point, like every time I wanted to dance, I took a picture, somebody was taking a picture with me. I was like, babe, mind you Gabrielle's model, Like this is her job to take photos. She said, so many times I just want to dance, but you know you're really hosting. You're making sure everybody else is having a good time. I feel so big because when she was on a hunker plane and I was like, girl.

Almost another one everybody has a better time at your party than you.

I mean, it's not even on the dance floor the whole time.

It's not even just birthday parties.

Though I hear this a lot as the sentiment around weddings like that the wedding is essentially for everyone else to celebrate, like the reception the wedding, and it's not really about the couple.

It's about let's be very.

Clear, everyone there is gonna judge the venue, the food, the DJ, is the bar open, and is it top shelf or not? Like everyone makes it about them and so it in turn becomes a party for everyone else, and it normally isn't fun like I think that. And I just saw a statistic about even how many couples end up actually having sex the night of their wedding, and it's a very low percentage because they're both.

No, it wasn't not low, but it was low enough. I think we talked about it horrible it was. It was in the fifty or something, so it wasn't that low, but it really wasn't as much as we think.

Whenever I do consultations for DJing weddings, and I actually got one coming up in May, right, I tell them. I'm like, congratulations, I'm glad it's a special day, but I know it's going to be stressful because at the

It's so crazy guys are bringing up weddings.

Because after she vented for like fifteen minutes with me, the next thing out of her mouth, this girl's not engaged.

She said, eloping is going to be great. That's what she said.

Because the next thing you think is, oh, I'm not gonna be able to do this. Like I'm gonna tell you. It really showed me how much we throw parties for everyone else and we want to get our people together.

It's too much.

Like this year on my birthday, mine kind of went the other way. So I got a big ass fucking house for all my friends to come.

Christ.

This is what I think people should do on their birthdays, right, I'm like, just get the house and bite people on the trip, they buy the ticket.

I did that for my thirty thing. Still Nope, I'll never do it again.

So it was five bedrooms, Me and my man Kill and her husband Andre, It was Vannie and I think Mea and her husband. Just a bunch of friends, right, girls, didn't you know about end a trip? It was too Andre got book for an event, Vinnie had.

To go viewed his mom. Everybody was like and it was real life shit plans we had for months, you know.

I know I felt bad. I did all this booking my thirtieth birthday. I have friends travel from the Carolinas, Vegas, London, Atlanta, two from Vegas, one from and went from Miami.

There was I think seven of us.

We fly into Mexico during a hurricane. House gets canceled, boat gets canceled.

And now they know how I am. Guess what.

They all land right before me. And so because they all know how I get in my anxiety, they all come together and are trying to find us another house because Mexico is trying to send everyone to a fucking stadium like on some bunker down type shit I mean, And so literally we ended up going shopping. We end up still doing the boat, but the waters were still choppy. But literally dinner, dinner, reservation, everything, what.

You got on a boat?

No?

No, no, no. Two days later, wait no, the hurricane passed. It came and passed.

I still wouldn't got down on a boat for another week.

Nigga. I was in Mexico. How would that be out We're from Florida. Those Yeah, a hurricane. You go out that night, Let's be very clear. I'll say, let's be very clear. A party.

We we got through the night hurricane passed. I look outside, I said, also, little a couple of branches on it.

We could have win.

I literally was real. Florida, Like, bro, they's so extra. They always do this when hurricanes come.

It ain't even that serious.

Oh, speaking of birthdays, I was literally thinking, okay, so this whole thing's going on right. My boyfriend for his birthday that week, we're going on a cruise. I was like, oh, he's never done one. I've done a munch with my family back in the day.

This will be cute. From La Easy. Something came up with my job. They're very big gigs.

One of the days we've bet on the boat, and I was like, you know, what if we were married.

He would tell me.

Do this gig like that's how much money it is. He would be like, bitch, are you out of your mind? So I called him, I told him what was going on. He was like, listen, I feel like you want to do so much for me because I do so much for you. I need you to understand this type of man I am. I'm gonna tell you again. We can eat, we can sit in the hotel room. I can be right there while you do this event, even if it was on my birthday. You have got to stop overthinking

Gesture, it really is about them.

However I do at the same time, and this could be something that's totally wrong and it's semi related to your ex partner with throwing you the birthday party. I want you to know I'm doing this for you and I want you to really feel my love from this, almost more than my brain can even think.

Are you enjoying this? I want you to feel it. I guess it could.

It's selfish, but it's like I don't know how else to show up sometimes because I am such a pleaser. And it was just this whole conversation of like, bitch, you wear cancel a vote and we just doing dinner.

Now I didn't. I found out a way to move the event, but I say this.

To say move the event.

Yeah, I was like, figure out another time to do it, and I charge them less money. But basically what I was gonna say was like, anyone that's planning for a friend, anyone that's planning an event, you really do have to sit and ask maybe you're not super selfish in that story you told us you said your ex was.

Like, what about what I wanted to do? Those words feel selfish?

Maybe I'm not saying those words, but am I actually being selfish? And we really got to sit with ourselves, like are all the grand gestures you're making, and all the plans you're trying to make actually not something that person wants. And I haven't really sat with myself in a while and thought that because I'm just trying to

Yeah.

True, Like, there's power in listening to a partner and even if you can't afford or get them exactly what they ask for, to give them something they literally said they don't want because you've never done it, or it would make you feel good, or it's a way that you feel like you could show your love is selfish.

And yeah, I don't.

Think that showing your trying to make grand gestures to show your love is selfish.

I think not listening is. Yeah, But that's.

Where where I thought about your exing the party, because I'm like, oh, this is an interesting tie because mine isn't rooted in the narcissism, but it is rooted in me people pleasing. So it's like these two different things, and you I could have really have shown up and been doing something that someone's like, this is too much. So I just realized, you know, throughout this whole thing with a birthday conversation all that like.

I've been doing too much. I've you doing too much. A lot of times. I even do too much of my parents.

There's times where I take my mom's shop and are we doing all these extra things? You'd be like, what is it my fucking birthday?

And I don't know what that is.

I wonder if it's an only child, Oh my god, please like me shit. But yeah, I'm starting to see it just show up a lot.

No, I mean, I feel like, I mean, don't I guess the way I'm analyzing it, what you're saying, does it sound like like me. It's more like I'm trying to make a grand gesture.

Mm hmm.

I don't see it as And also, it's this thing of life. Why are we doing all this shit for someone that's just happy. Even if it's a homegirl and you're planning something great for her, she might have been like, bitch, we could have went anywhere. It's that type of shit. It's just kind of like it's not always needed. So I want to say that to say keep shit?

Can I can I go on the opposite room. Have you guys done the fijidas thing? You guys talked about this man to make shit say the whole thing filling everybody. So so there was a whole thing on social media at one point talking about how you don't take too much attention from the birthday person on their birthday. An example, right, you go to a Mexican restaurant. I don't care whichever one you guys go to. The point is the com you see the you see the menu, there's tacos ares

Everybody looks at you because it's smoking, and say.

By looks at you because it's smoking. Now the internet was split. Do you order the fijitas if it's not your birthday?

Yo? What just because the attention? Ye niggas need to go to therapy. I ain't gonna hold you. Get the fuck out of here.

First off, if y'all know me, y'all know that Mexican is the bottom three worst cuisines in the world.

You are hate Mexican food.

So y'all will never see me at a Mexican restaurant for a celebration. But for me, I think, let me take it away from the Mexican restaurant, so that I what's an equivalent. The equivalent would be you're good dress, so you would know the equivalent would be you are the birthday girl. There is a theme for how y'all should all dress, and someone decides that even though they received the theme, they're going to show up in whatever they want to wear, which in turn it's what they wanted.

Mean, I see it's like in a what's the word not an analogy? Yeah, it is like it's just I get it though, because to me it's it actually is a good outfit if it's your birthday. And let's just say, yo, bitch got out fit and she got.

Her hair bust down and the makeup done.

You just kind of like, oh my god, I thought it was all about me. Bitches be getting like that, And I saw something online to let me know.

I love boy.

Bitches be like what they don't want their homegirl to show them out fun their day. There is a wedding theme saying the theme is show up the bride. My homegirl did this for her wedding in Mexico City, Gila. I walked in and I was like, why does everybody look this good? She's like, oh my god. I teld everybody like, I mean, purple, pink, green, the designs ship symmetrical, sticking out.

You know what that is? That is a bitch that ain't insecure like to me.

To me, also, someone out be hell subjective. I've had friends I don't like how they dress at all, so they show out. Is not my show out? And if you bet that I pulled up and you like my fit and I'm just better than you.

Bitch. You should have had a solace. I don't know what it's. Here's one. I don't what about the homegirl that you call your friend? What you wearing to night? I wear jeans.

I can remember jeans. I'm cute, not as social up in a tight dress. But you know I was gonna put these damn jeans and take top phone. I changed my mind because I didn't like how the jeans fit me.

So you feel deceived.

No, I just want to like, Oh, you should have seen it. It's so funny. Shut it.

No, I don't like when I step out with one other person. If it's a few of us, it's fine. If you're really dressing in heels and I'm wearing sneakers. But you could have told me this. No, this was actually funny.

This just happened me and my homegirls Shanna shout out to Shauna. We went to Barmargo Barmargo on my little spot. So we go out, and we had already gone out like three or four times before then. And sometimes I'd be me my stun attire, I'll be dressed down. But every time we went out. She likes to get caught up. She's a mom, and she's like, bitch, if I'm coming up in the city, I'm gonna be cute. So what's crazy is we go to Barbargo and she's like, okay, girl, I will pull up.

I decide because I know this bitchman to be dressed up.

I put on my little fucking top four heels, I put this little flour dressed on a dress to wear.

I showed my my boyfriend and he was like, I didn't even know you owned anything like this. What the fuck?

So I shows each I show up and I'm dressed up and she said, now, bitch, why you all dressed up?

I said, bitch, because you already dressed up. And I felt bad that I don't be mad at yo.

She came dressed down and she was like, bitch, I dressed down because I knew I got to meet which'all asked.

So's a deal unless we playing sneak.

I guess that's different at thirty at thirty five, depending on where we're going, we need flat no dress, dress for dress for the occasion, Like, bitch, you might be going to bad. I got a boyfriend, and if I don't want to dress up. I'm gonna dress with what makes me comfortable. Me and my friends actually now do not ever have conversations about, well, what you're wearing, because everyone has their own styles. Nine times out of ten, I ain't gonna like half the ship my fraywhere.

To me if we're going casual, because I do think like if we're gonna show up casual together, like if me and my girl, if it's a Friday night we're going to club. If we really gonna be casual, let's be on a ship together, beach, Let's do the crop top and the cargo jeans together.

Switch it up.

Oh, you know, my best friend twist her ankle, and I knew that hole was gonna be wearing flats for a while.

Well, bitch, I'm wearing heels. Doc my friend I wear bitch, lost a broke the fuck Anyway, let's get to our no host Bart.

If you haven't yet, guys, make sure you purchase no host Bart to do a manifesto of sexual exploration and power and join us on tour NHB tour dot com. We are bringing the pages, took the stages in a city near you. We are making it so different than any live show you've seen before, but you were still getting all of the horrible Okay.

Are we taking a page? Are you picking it? No?

I am reading an excerpt. Okay, this comes from my chapter. Why don't they just call it a vacuum? So this is the chapter around my abortion. It's in the pain section of the book. My mom says she wishes she'd had this conversation with me earlier, and that it wasn't in the form of a trauma bond. No one had talked to her either, so this was part of our familial cycle. She said she would have talked to me earlier about the consequences and results of the actual birds and bees.

But here's the issue. The problem is a cyclical one.

Before she got pregnant at fifteen, no one had ever talked to her about sex either. Those were from different generations. My mom and I both remember being told very little at school. She didn't have planned parenthood or any resources at the time. In Newport, Ritchie, Florida, where she grew up. I remember a sex ad class where we, and when I say we, I mean the young women were told by our teacher to abstain from having sex the boys were going to be boys and the girls were going

I think no, no, because there typically For me, it all came from my father as a man that I swear the birds in the bees conversation was five seconds that month with your dad. Yeah, and your mom never had it, which everything I've learned in terms of sex is from the entering.

How are you? Oh? Wow? They had you. I wonder if this had to do with.

Age thirty, because it's my father's sixty.

Okay, oh wow, so even later on we're a little bit more mature.

They definitely knew themselves more sexually. Yeah wow. And it was still like five seconds and that which is.

But but I don't condom condom? Yeah basically that's really what?

Right?

Yeah, like basically that just wear a condom or don't get people pregnant.

I'll be honest with you.

My mom even knowing I was having sex because I had to come and throw a positive pregnancy test on the bed. I had wished that, and and that happened when I was just about to turn sixteen. And for me, that was definitely the age where instead of me being told to go to the other room or anything like that, it should have been where when her friends was over, my aunties were over and conversations were being had because a lot of my mom's friends and my aunts was dating.

They weren't.

Like again, I didn't grow up seeing healthy marriages or people in long standing relationships.

Like my aunt wasn't with my uncle, my mom wasn't with my dad.

Her friends were all single bitches out you know, they go on a playpool to find some niggas, and so I wish just the conversation about how sex doesn't really make someone like you happen.

And I do wish that I knew.

The trauma that my mom experienced with sex, with dating, and specifically her decision to have an abortion. I wish that conversation came without the need to trauma bond with each other. I would have liked to known my mom a little bit more or as a woman and not.

Just a mom personally. What about you?

I mean, I talked to my mom talked about sex so early, and I'm sure we'll dig into this convo when we interview her tomorrow, but something that's just coming to my mind. It's interesting because like a lot of my homegirls talk about their mom with dating experiences and I can't relate because she was married. But the interesting thing is, I think it's very reflective. I saw my mom in her dating. Technically, every single day all I saw was my mom and is wife, you know what

Like. It was a weird thing too, because when I.

Got older and started dating men, my homegirls and I have of course had relationship talks. When I started dating romantic relationships, you talk a lot more about like my mom was saying, you know, et cetera. I didn't realize how jaded I was to single mom. It's pain like just because the dating experience as a mom, a kid sees it completely. They're watching it, they're viewing it like that never happened to me. I don't really know what my mom was like in according stage when I never

They were in a marriage the whole time. I never saw those phases.

So everything I learned about that shit is just through conversations through friends. So that's even and your parents were married, right, yeah, so like, yeah, that's something.

Yeah, my experience seeing that it was interesting because through writing this book, I you know, I got to really learn my mom more and her relationship with men, and I remember getting so fucking mad at her and I snapped at her as an adult now. I remember asking her like, who, if any of the partners that I know of over the past thirty years did she feel like was her favorite or the best or the one

I was so mad at her.

I said, that's the nigga, And I said, you're pathetic, and I said, I want you to take it to therapy.

This man that.

Maybe you're remembering how he maybe made you feel. But the person that at the end tried to literally ruin our family and did somewhat like brought a lot of things out to where you literally almost like you know, and I had to witness that, and I was so upset and I was like, oh, I'm sorry, this is something recent, and I was just like, in terms of the conversations with my mom about like what healthy relationships could look like, it frustrates me that at thirty five,

I think, and I mean even now we see your mom isn't even really wrong for probably thinking it, because we now know sometimes those highs and loads of relationships, you really keep in mind the good yeah, you want to, you want to, so it's almost more prevalent than the good guys. She probably passed over that maybe you thought about because no, no.

No, no, let's be very clear. They all suck. Oh well, I like that's why I was like, which which one was the best?

And what's crazy is the one that I liked the most as an adult he was an alcoholic. He was an alcoholic and a gambler. So although he was fun and he was caring and we really like enjoyed his presence because he was a lot of fun with my mom, financially, he was in debt because he would either drink or gamble all his money away, and so from an aspect of he was always a great person to be around. As an adult standpoint, he wasn't great like And it

I do the opposite to men.

Actually, yeah, my ex said all the time, my dad, it's like he's just pinnacle, fuck you, fuck you like my dad.

This, my dad this.

And it was crazy because maybe towards the end of my relationship not old baby, but another ex said, this man that your dad is is so not realistic to today's time, and it's not realistic to even the man you're looking for. That when you compare, it's frustrating. My dad doesn't really drink. My dad doesn't go out that like, I would love someone social. I've literally said on this podcast, I won't date someone but don't drink. And so just thinking about it, I'm like, oh, I really am comparing

So it's like when they really are, it's all daddy issues.

At the same time, maybe my daddy issues may look different, but the fact that I compared every man, it's fucked up. Oh, well, my dad does this, he takes care of the house. He would never let my mom do this. Like, meanwhile, teamwork is such a normal part of twenty twenty five. Let's be honest about the economy here. I don't even want to be a housewife. But yet in the same breath, I'm telling you I shouldn't be doing this because my

It sucks, oh for you. Yeah, I've viewed a lot of fun.

No, but even in the opposite way, the impression of men in a negative way or positive.

That's it.

I do want to skip reaction air for this episode and do and get just a little bit more into the decision's decisions because I want to have more fun talking about it. I think it's been really fun to teach you guys the historical kind of ways in which certain things around sex started. And this week, y'all don't make fun of me for the last one, because y'all know I don't believe it, but we getting into it. We were talking about fertility rituals, the so sex soil is sacred?

Did you so before fertility clinics?

And again, because I've spoke about talking to my friends about navigating their biological clock and all these things, I wanted to get into what people were doing before they could go and literally get tested and to see if they could have babies or not. So before fertility clinics, people turn to sex magic, moon phases in sacred dances. That's you're real to help the babies come the moon phases real, bitch, you believe it.

I'm gonna tell you how I know. Read the love chapter.

Okay, yeesh, it's scary Also, what do you mean, so what do you know about moon phases being tied to fertill like just.

But all are different stages of ovulation heightened fertility like it's crazy because we don't talk about it much anymore because we have so many other options. But the moon phases were like the number one resource back in the olden times on when it was prime and optimal to get pregnant. And our period also is connected to the moon as.

Well, even though we all have different cycles. Yes, interesting, goddamn very interesting there is.

Don't believe it's not the oh Freddian cycle.

I believe not to be a hotel because I learned this watching nineteen Keys clip. It was a nigga talking meant to be very hotel.

Oh no, no, no, I thought this motherfucker is bullshit.

He wasn't saying it was somebody out on them like this nigga sounds stupid talking about pussy and furies, and I was like, oh, I guess not. Well, let's start as long as you got a coofie on off of the talk shit.

But some of it be good, some of it don't. Let's start with the with some historical hot spots.

Now, y'all know, we'd be liking to take y'all around the world, no passport needed. So in ancient Mesopotamia, it's always over there. Where is Mesopotamia? That's a real place. No, it was, It don't exist no more. I think it is the Roman or greeklan. Sorry, we're gonna let y'all know where y'all at. It's a bottom of Mediterranean seat in the Persian Gulf.

Iraq, Iraq, Yeah, bitch, it exists in a bombs cataline empire.

That was all it.

Today Mesopotamia is actually known as present day Iraq, So bitch, we in Iraq.

Uh this only time y'all gonna be able to go there, all right?

So the goddess Inana's high priestess would perform sacred sex rituals with kings to ensure a fertile kingdom. This was called called heroes gamos. So basically I think it's heroes or none. No, I'm saying the game, look.

At me making the Spanish it probably.

And yeah, so I guess now here's the thing. Were goddesses real things? The goddess, yes, would perform sacred rituals. Goddesses was real? I thought gods and goddesses was fake.

They're humans that became much like a you could say, like a prophet. Then Aphrodite is real. They made statues after them. They were real though, Yeah, real people.

Yes.

Hades and Zeus was real people. Yes, But Sidon he was he was in the ocean.

He wasn't real real.

You gotta think, for example, no, I need you no, no, For example, Moses and the parting of the Red Sea.

Now that's a Bible person, let me get it, let me cook.

People say, even though that sounds crazy that he did that, it was really a low tide sol all of the Poseidon ship, all of the Aphrodite shit.

These gods and goddesses, they were humans. They was not humans.

Ever, assertion that Greek gods are non real supported by archaeological elements evidence excuse me, comparative monology. The Greek gods, as depicted in mythology are not considered to be literal, spiritual beings that existed in the physical world. By monitor.

They was not in the physical world, that was not human.

However, they are viewed as powerful, symbolic.

Symbolic they simples. They're not she said they were humans.

At one point this is given my chicken wing. I think my chicken wing. Take bit, no, I think this is that was Hades and Zeus was not real Hercules.

Wings all the time.

I believe it and thought the wing was a toe. Don't don't do that. That's just an anatomy that I got wrong. You would see here.

You thought a chicken wing and collucting on this day camera.

B I just said it. It is kind of a toe. It's just the finger. Then, bitch, I got the wrong.

I believe they were real, and I believe these books and all this Google ship makes us wants us to think.

It's faith.

And you can now join Weezy's call at weezysct dot com just like I think and real. All right now, y'all know we had to take it over to Egypt and the Pharaoh, which the pharaoh.

Was an actual human being. This is.

Now, I don't think anything's real.

The pharaoh was real, that was a real. This one is crazy, y'all of Egypt. This one is crazy. And this is how I guess he wanted to boost fertility around Egypt. The pharaoh was expected to ejaculate into the Nile during a fertility festival to.

Bless the lamb bitch.

I want to know who had to watch it or if he did it in silence or he poured it from a cup like well.

I think it was probably a kink because you know the grinks was freaks. No, you wished me in Egypt not Greece.

Well all of them A good question. They also the jar directly, like.

Did he have to nut immediately? Or did was it just his ferm? That was maybe everybody watched it.

No, he said it he was expected to ejaculate into the nile, So I feel like he had to nut into the river. This is crazy, y'all. Okay, So northern Celtic tribes, how do we get here? For the fertility of this Bonfires and beltane orgies were common. People believe sex during these rituals would ensure abundant crops and healthy livestock.

So basically they threw a whole orgy.

Where people assumed that during this moment, as we're having sex and essentially everything around us would be fertile, so the livestock would grow, plants would grow, and that I would inseminate you at the same time, because we're in belief that this is corn.

You know what I mean.

I wonder if there's something that they used to do with taste. Just imagine you're like, hey, how do I know if my seaman's any good? If it's salty, it's this. If it's sweet, it's this. How do you know what healthy semen was back then? It can't just be consistency.

You probably had to eat it.

I'll say my thoughts, My thoughts on that is that nut consistency. While yes, there's healthy and unhealthy, I do also think it's subjective of what's healthy.

No, no, no, of.

What someone back then would assume it to be, because it would be based on what you enjoy.

I know people like different nuts like you do. I like different nuts.

I think i'll guarantee you since you like bukaki and shit like it and cream pies, the consistency and weigh in which you like nut is probably different than I like nut.

And this is y'all getting horrible decisions at this point.

But I think we're late enough into the shel to like, what is your your choice of not consistency? Okay, so let's talk about Wait, we might ask you what your nut consistency is.

Yeah, it's I like a volume shooter or I like a drip down shoot. Sometimes I like it to shoot right up and then it just drips down the dick.

Okay.

I like to see it go from super thick white to get runny a little bit, and then if I pick it up to eat it, I like to be able to still see the white.

Don't clear up too quick. I still need white see. Not that I'm racist. I ain't gonna hold you.

I I like just enough nut to where I feel it.

But no, I don't like a lot of nut. I like one moment. I like just enough to be like, ooh, you can't. I don't like volume. I don't want it to be like a puddle.

I don't.

I also don't like it too thick. I like it to kind of be like, like, what's.

The point in a little bit of squirt? Might as well pee? No, that's how I feel. Might as well nut cool?

So to me the law, I like it, And I also like it clear anything white, maybe because I associated with a yeast infection and I know it's not the same. I don't like super white shit like even okay, you know I watch gay porn.

You want clear nuts? Oh, I'm not gonna lie when I watch gay porn.

If there's too much white stuff coming out the asshole onto the dick, I'm like, oh, it's too mess isy, yucky.

Don't know why it's so much white sulk, because that's the louver colored to make a hunt. I don't like it, so I won't.

I will turn off a video if if the dick turns white from this.

Well, now that we've taken you to Egypt, everything we should, I don't like it. No, no, no, no, no, hold on, hold up, let me finish, Let me finish. I have two more places.

So Japan Shinto tradition phallic festivals, y'all know, phallic means penis or penis like shapes like Kanamara Matsuri celebrated fertility with giant penis shaped floats.

By the way, y'all, this is still celebrated today.

I've not been to Japan yet, and I think for research purposes, maybe the businessness can cover half of my trip.

Since it's for research, I'd.

Love to go be able to film these giant penis shape floats. Last one in West Africa and Yoruba religion Yoroba Thank you, Aba, fertility dances and offerings to Osha, Goddess of Love and fertility.

I'm a hotel though, don't you know.

By the way, they continue still today in Nigeria and diaspora communities, but there are still fertility dances and offerings to this goddess as a way to.

It's afrobast basically that hope.

These rituals made fertility communal joyful and spiritual, with women often seen as life bringers rather than passive vessels. So they celebrated the female bodies, their ability to carry the acknowledgment that there was a womb there that brought life into things, and so it was a way to celebrate women is not just things to bend over and fuck.

And get your net off.

But yeah, so that is the history of fertility in some of the rituals that have been used over time.

Well, I will make sure to try my fertility dance tonight in the club.

I'm staying far away from all this shit, y'all.

Head on over to patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions if you want more sex than just me and Mandy talking about the kind of com and that we like. And also NHB tour dot com. Come and check us out in a bunch of cities. I was gonna name them, but we had no time.

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I'm gonna blend it for this outra for listening to horrible decisions decision by