Ep. 421: The History Of The D

Welcome to Decisions Decisions.

I don't think you should say decision decisions. It sounded like you was talking to Kirsty. You definitely say to welcome, welcome.

To the new podcast.

You want to say.

Together, decisions decisions.

Welcome everybody to another episode of Decision Decision.

My teeth are changing, so now I say it, it actually is decisions decisions.

It's funny because I just listened to Charlemagne on Brilliant Idiots and he was like, I still just be I list I don't know how to say decisions decisions, goddamn it, but I'm glad he's working on saying that in our book correctly.

Speaking of before we get started with this.

Episode, if you haven't yet, make sure you pre order our book, No Holds Barred A Do a Manifesto of sexual exploration and power. Oh clip that help us become New York Times bestsellers. Yeah, it's just us in the studio today. I mean Ed is here, but he don't care.

So you know, let's kids, have have you gotten your man's bigger?

Alwa's crazy that I'm not talking about my man today.

Yeah.

Like, first of y'all be nosy, like I don't like, there's so many parts of me in this relationship that I'm like really enjoying, and so many of y'all will not let me be in peace in private. So I'm working on the things that I want to share with y'all.

Because y'all are fucking annoying.

And I guess it was different because, like my last relationship was, he was essentially a ghost. He was an old ass, fifty year old retired nigga with no social media, so he was just a agomilation.

What's that word?

You know what You're just like it is just like an envision ship aglomination, eybody, y'all know the god word holo.

An agglogamation, a gloggamation, Hollo.

I'm gonna get the goddamn word agglomination that it caught up.

Be the bitch.

It's Coggloborations is a master collection of things.

Agglomeration. Alright, we're dumb, don't do that.

I was close agglomeration. But like so, I mean, I'm happy like right now, like we are both steel right at the phase where I feel like you about to say to l word and I'm like, oh, I know it's coming. Yeah, no, no, no, no, I said it. I said the L word last or time, and look, this could be my trauma. Why I don't want to say it again, But we're great. I actually wanted to talk

Like because I'm not like the compromising I wasn't willing to have, or.

Like I'm associating all these things with needing space as like am I a bad person? Am I a bad partner? And I started getting like into these tropes of why am I like this? And my therapy my therapist brought up how last year, through specifically my sobriety, is where I have come to terms with being way more of an introvert as I thought myself to be. I thought I was like this extroverted love to be around people, need to be around people, feed off of energy and

Really through sobriety was really was really uh.

I don't want to say life changing, because we're still going through me navigating that, but I just wanted to bring that up because I think taking in the comments taking in trying to defend my need for space or not wanting to compromise and things. I genuinely sat and was like, Damn, am I a shitty partner? Am I a bad person? Am I someone made to be in a relationship with the way that I'm fine with moving?

So you're definitely not a bad person. I think even the worst people are deserving of love.

No, and I believe I'm deserving of it.

And I'm not saying that about you in any means. I just mean, like, I think even a terrible person deserves love. I don't think that your habits sounded crazy out loud. I think the conversation only came from hearing the person want more, Like I don't think you saying I need four days is bad. I think comparatively, like your man wants more and you're like, no, that's it, like that that's and it still doesn't make you bad person.

Yeah so it can.

It can sound like it's pain, it can sound like you're being defensives, but really it's like you're opening your heart again. I remember when you talk about your actually like he doesn't there was a moment where you say he doesn't know anything wrong.

I love him. Do you remember that episode.

I was like, damn, I even is in love in a minute, and you.

You didn't even care to Like I mean, if that was within the first year. He did everything right first.

Year, And I'm saying like you were just And I think, like falling in love that fast is probably something you just don't want to do, like you know you've been through pain, even if you don't consciously know that. I think all of us are like that. I fell in love deep hard, this happened to me. I met somebody new, better, great, treating me better. I still got to make sure I

I mean, I just think what I've realized in what the conversation was in therapy and what I'm really adamant on is my boundaries are not for anyone else, They're for me. And if I know that my boundaries are to protect myself, I don't want the resentment to happen or I don't want to on who's then I would I would absolutely resent someone and probably grow out of like or love for them if I felt like I had to change the boundaries that make me feel safe and that are for me in order to appease them.

Him talk so much. We're still at three hours a day. We don't talk three hours straight.

Now it's broken up. But I've literally told him, I know we're long distance, but if you wake up and you're not in a good mood, do not feel the need to talk to me. And so literally he woke up in a shitty mood the other day, Babe, I'm going to go to the gym. I'll talk to you when I when I feel better, and I was like, thank you, Like so to me, if that's a boundary, like to me, the boundaries are for me and to

When we make boundaries, we have.

To we have to know that they're for us and not for other people. And so for me, I'm not looking to push those boundaries or move them to appease someone else.

Which is why the.

Conference we should have a dialogue, not today. I don't think we both can even have that conversation boundaries and compromise.

What's what we've had, We've.

Had those conversations real, but we should feel not Mandy situation.

Let's just for example. I'm like, that's a really.

It's a really big thing, especially in relationships, sacrifice, compromise, boundaries, Like.

There's three different things. How do you dissect what things?

You know?

What a boundary is to me? And this is why I was going back and forth with you about it. Your four day rule that you have for yourself didn't seem like a hard no.

It felt like, right now, it's for my sanity. No no, no, So boundary to me is hard. No, that's a hard note for me.

Okay, Like, especially right now while I'm navigating my need to recharge.

I don't want to have to drink to be around him. I don't want to what do you mean you mean?

Like I realized, like again, through through therapy and going through going sober, I realized my ability to be around so many people in an extended amount of time that the energy is.

Only on alcohol. Got it?

And so in this relationship and mind you, with my ex, a lot of the sex, a lot of the time together was drinking and drug filled.

It was fun, we were rock stars. I loved it.

But when I chose to remove those things, I realized a lot more about my capacity with being with people. And so for me, I don't want to get to the point where he's coming. My anxiety has risen now because there's an extended amount of time and now I have to feel the need to get into any advice to be around him. And so where I'm at right now, at thirty four, I'm literally learning myself right now as an introvert that needs the recharge.

I think people learn themselves every Yeah, my ma is relearning herself at seventy four. Like something I learned from the Tempest X episode that that's makes me think about what you're saying about drinking and drugs and dating I with this current partner.

He was kind of like saying, the first.

Three months, we need to have a weekend where we're not going out. Now, I'm not saying that we're getting sucked up, like we're not going to the cloud, We're not going to a lounge, we're not going to hear jazz.

We're not like, let's just be in the house.

And he was super super for adamant about us doing this, And what I didn't realize was that I'm so used to people enjoying me for my extrovertedness and fun same. I was scared not that he wouldn't like me, but that the time with me would be boring. And now it's so crazy to see like we liked the boring shit. There was a comment we made like, dayn't I want to go back to Thailand and fucking three weeks wasn't enough, And I was like, I wish we had.

One day where we weren't doing anything. In Thailand, we did something every day and he's like, now, look he is talking. I will say, that's what I like, not many things.

I will say, there are many things that I learned and are still taking from my last relationship. And because of the pandemic, we got to get me and my ex got together where we didn't have.

A lot of inclusion of other people. And I feel like when.

We started needing to be at bars or sex clubs or be around so many other people, it complicated it. So I know that now that's what I'm enjoying with my partner is making sure I don't feel the need for us to be in clubs or bars or spaces where now we're just enjoying each other. So like he's coming to Atlanta. I'm gonna say it's a week. It's Monday to Friday, even though late Monday leave early Friday.

It's like I already met my best friend.

He is the only thing that matters, Like out with you with all these people, Yeah, just who's like my corecors I've met his best friend, he's met my best friend.

He just asked if it's okay. His mom wants my number for us to talk housewives. So his mom like, adoors, I love his mom.

I'm not gonna like yeah, love.

But he's like, I don't know if it's a lot, but my mom doesn't really have anyone to talk about housewives with. And you hang up with me to watch housewives. And I told her you're special house lives. So he's like, uh, babe, do you mind talking to my mom about housewives?

I said no, not, like you.

Know, those things are so sweet because to me, it reminds me and I wonder if this is age or him being like, I'm not about to turn Mandy off.

I feel like we see this a lot when.

Women don't know what to do when they need more, or they want to give more, or they want to open a man up to more because they're so used to men running. People run from commitment, people run from all those types of things. Like genuinely, I remember the first year of my relationship thinking it was bullshit, like there's no way that he's still like showing up doing these things like we were just talking. My dad turns ninety June first, and we're like, Okay, what are we

Oh, should we have a nurse doing all this shit?

And I'm like, this is such a heavy convo for someone so young whose parents aren't necessarily going through what I'm going through, but watching people support you.

Is just very impressive. Yeah, Like we literally google like should we take a private jet? Cause it's, by the way, I'm not that rich and neither is he. However, from Vegas or La to Vegas, it's only two hundred dollars person on a jet.

I don't notice if you do the shared one. Yeah.

So now we're like, all right, cool, let's just take the whole family there. Like, but I like seeing this side of like how people will show up and it's interesting seeing the side of me to think, oh, really, like are you doing this for me? Like or you know, just questioning it questioning people's love. How did I hold you actually being friends with the nigga first?

Oh, y'all game changer, bitch like cool like bitch like I got to know as a friend first, Like I if we go to the very inception of this goddamn podcast.

Any nigga I liked, any nigga who.

Had a nickname on this goddamn podcast had a nickname because I liked him because the dick was good. Like all of my my my like and lust and quote unquote love for anybody stem from getting my back bloone now and so to have spent five six months getting to know him first, Like, it's so interesting being in a relationship where sex is not the center of it.

And now it's like we're we're.

Talking, we're trying to incorporate it a lot more, and we're talking, but it's like, damn, it's my friend.

Damn.

We talk about so much other ship that it's not even about sexting or lusting or not waiting to get.

To each other to tear each other apart.

There's like I'm so excited to just lay on the couch with you and watch Netflix. Like we were talking about Matt Damon the other day and cause the nigga Young we talked about him and his friendship with Ben Affleck and I was like, oh my god, I love their movie together.

And he was like, what's the one that y'all know progress, No, not broke back now and he played brog Jacob Jo.

Girl, I'm confusing my wife that you like, what's the other one? On Google hunting so he can bring up good walle Hunting And I was like, no, I'm talking about dog one dog, one dog.

That I love.

Y'all are the first two people. But if I have said dog but and they don't, don't do it? I like it, don't that's age that age that's saying, is it?

Yeah, that's my fun. Ye oh yeah, that's a great Yeah. Like no, no, this is our age and that whole eight No dog but either.

But she also loves Trick Daddy and you know that she only know like Hood Miami ship.

Yeah.

I was like, we do love some hood cinema. I had that phase in my relationship recently. There's a I don't know if you guys have seen it. Oh, I hope we can post it. There's a checklist of black movies to see you said it to him.

No, he said it to me and.

Said, baby, filled this out with your fucking viracial ass, show biracial ass.

How many of them had you seen? Like sixty percent?

Okay, but he saw not very biracial of you.

That is prettily. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do don't get razy. I love a concussion wrong.

Every time you talk about a movie here, you bring up the Secretary once the money, but you still haven't seen it. You love bringing up some white cinema that is like a b side to movies. I don't know why.

You know black rom coms are good, but how many do we have? We got what love the Phone? They out those are drop round time.

Sorry, love movies, Black Love Stories, brown sugar just right jumping in the bros Basketball just like they got Naga.

I mean, yeah, no, there's a lot more. Okay, but also look at the country.

And if you want to talk to Mandy about it, Gabrielle Union apparently isn't even.

Let never forget that.

Okay, let me tell you it was a crazy shit that happen before we get into this outline, because I know we need to get to it, so I'm driving to see my dad. It's our last day, and he's like, go by yourself, because I feel.

Like your dad is like over me being there, like because we've been spending a lot of time together, because you and your dad need a moment. So I'm heading to my dad and I suddenly feel I was eating strawberries, which is crazy because with my braces, I've been eating chips, chicken wings, bag gets.

They told me the seeds. I don't know what happened. No, no, no, you can't. You can have a strawberry.

I don't know what angle I ate it on, but the bracket of my braces broke.

They say this is common.

However, it was the back wisdom tooth, and the bracket dug into my gum. So the end of the wire, just to be more helpful, the wire of the races. Maybe I'm not saying the bracket. The end of the wire was stuck in my gum. I immediately felt like a shooting headpain. I was only three minutes from the house. I call him.

I opened my mouth. I realized I can't talk.

I like this.

Nigga thinks I got in a car accident. He's like, how the fuck. She just left.

She calling and like, and I can't say it's my braces. He gets to the floor of my cars on he sees what's going on. He's like, oh my god, we gotta go upstairs, bitch. We get upstairs and it's stuck down there. Every time he moves it, it's like, I mean, die, you're screaming. I'm like, oh my god, call my mom. Tell her I can't see my dad. Take me the emergency room. I was texting. That's how much I couldn't talk. So I'm like, get an emergency dentist. This is how

So this is like orthodonist. You can't get a regular dentist anywhere from one to two thousand.

So I'm like, hold on it. I do, but I was like, you got it. Hold on was worth it.

I was like, let me see the motive in mind. Jo's screaming and crying right and he's like, okay, let's get in the car.

And I was like, let's see what we can do. So bitch.

We found a YouTube. Oh gee, of course said all you gotta do is get a nail clipper.

Of course you did.

So he's boiling the nail clipper, all sitting there, drooling on the side.

There's no blood coming out. It's just stuck.

Oh, and he's trying to fucking break it. If you break it, it'll come apart. So it it'll relieve the pain.

It couldn't happen. I was like, let's go to the doctor.

We call one more doctor. I ain't like his attitude, so this doctor would feel like so the guy.

So my man's on the phone. He's like, Yo, can you do this price? All you have to do is cut it?

Can we just give you cash because they're estimating fifteen hundred dollars god. And he's like, I'm with my family and my children and if you want me to leave my hall, I was like, oh fuck this la shit.

I'm like, look then, thunk, get the wire cutters. Bruh.

We're in the car and he's mad at me because I kept screaming at him and I was like, why are you not evening out?

And he's like, oh my god, stopped. I'm like.

Mad.

Tape oh, bitch, o' cian.

This nigga goes in the home depot, comes out with a wire cutter. I'm like, where's the alcohol in the hot water. He's like, we're not sterilizing it. Just come home where I really fucking used. And this is for like table people. I was sitting in the parking lot. I felt like people were staring at me fucking doing my own braces work. When it came out because it had to pull away from the nerves to pull out of my gum, I.

Screamed so loud. There's an apartment complex around. I think they thought I was getting murdered. And do you know what this nigga did?

Do you know what?

Like last nothing my real estate investment well to do African boyfriend did put it back in the plastic. They said, oh, we don't need them anymore, right, Oh my god. I wanted to die laughing, but I was like, yeah, guy David was the thing. I was like, yeah, baby, go get the thirty five dollars bad.

Yeah. I was about say how much your wirecutters? Yeah, there's like thirty something dollars. He got something. No, he got like two three different conds. He got the skinny ones he had.

He didn't know what's going so so he returned multiple but one of them was in your mouth unfairlized those horn people.

Well, we went to go have dinner at this restaurant. This isn't really tea, but I just wanted to say we go sit.

We were almost we were just gonna go, like just to like fusing the return the cutters. You're right restaurant.

So we're like, oh, let's just fuck it, let's go or you know. He said to me, He's like, let's go home. I ain't feeling and I was like, no, I'm not ruining my night. How do you get to see my I'm not ruining my night.

We get in there and even when we get in he's like kind of act like YO, want me there. We sit right down next to four black people.

It's two friends that are sitting with Sasha and Malie Obama, and I was like, wow, I needed to see this. Bit's don't sitting there eating like this, you know what, You're trying not to stare at somebody. I'm trying to look at me And I'm like, oh my god, these girls are so cute, so sweet. I can overhear some of their conversation. They are so innocent, so adorable. They lived together, and we were saying, like, yo, do you know how special it is to see siblings like this close,

I don't know if anybody knows this. Childish Gambino directed it, Sasha Obama produced it. It was one of the EP's or something. But yeah, it was just a great day, and it really like it was a great day, great great day. There was a great moment to see these two black girls that to me, I grew up with.

I watched them grow up and I was just like wow and no, And all the way home, I was like, we gonna see Blue Ivy.

Nidda, We're gonna be eating. We go see Blue Ivy. Nixt and often be like, oh my god, you ain't Blue Ivy going she about to be a star and role Yeah, no, are you right? We're probably gonna see North first? Have you gone through disses since that? Look the questions they need since? Oh yeah, yeah that's true. I'm no, sorry I didn't. That's what I'm going to two forty five. Okay, well I literally told it. I think I got to hear twenty. I have to go

Bruh the parking lot because niggas say no, no, no, no, no, no.

You need you need to go, because that's what niggas think about STDs. Once the symptoms is going, they think it's going, and sometimes it ain't.

Girl, can I get there?

Ship?

I'm just saying my appointments are two forty five once the year. But I will tell you though, I.

Think that when it comes to like survival mode type shit, that was a good partner moment. How the fuck are you gonna hold me? Down niggas anyway, no, no holds barred.

Uh.

We have been trying to do this on solo episodes where we're trying to like bring up an excerpt and just dig into it. So this one is from my chapter about sugaring. Uh oh no, sorry, this is an old bit. One says, quote unquote, they all do the same shit. Feed you a pipe dream before piping, tell you how amazing you are, how beautiful you are, not like the other gold diggers on the site. Oh yeah, this is the spoiling chef and how they want to

From when dating that they fall off from? Because in the.

Beginning of this thing, I'm saying, men are giving you compliments, men are giving you consistent communication, They're making plans, they're going on the dates, good morning text.

What do women fall off from? You're saying that they stop doing the thing? I believe once once they fucked. Okay, you know what I've experienced.

I hate saying this out loud. They start cooking a little less. I've had that happen, Nigga, we got jobs. I understand, Hey, our own understand. But you know what it is, because i'd be a triggered because I did know. You know what it is is that this is what I've experienced, right, It's two things that that's one. So it's more of like the fact that it's like you want to show off that you could cook and that you could throw it down. So they just start cooking

I started off good.

I gave that nigga just eggs and a bagel. Now I'm going to move up and give him some meat. Like I did it the opposite way.

I like conditioning.

Now now what then he does with Dick. He says he stot you at c Gray Dick because he don't want you to attach. Indeed, he works his life, you know when he comes. This time, I'm doing like the shripping grits.

With I'm gonna it was just the very at lantern. Listen. I was doing shripping grits like it's my thing. I just have to buy vegan butter and vegan vecon and grits.

I'm coming to Atlanta for us to record, do the audiobook and lack effect. I just realized that you niggas never lied about toast on Linux. Oh my god, what you like it?

Holy shit? I ate there three days in a row. Oh that's crazy.

It was one hundred dollars to Uber eat the fucking Fried's not for I wanted with my hotel room was speaking. Girl was cripy that that was my Uber because I was about to say that weight.

I went there twice. It wasn't wait, but maybe because I didn't say when I went yeah, there are always being waited, then I was. I was so addicted to the first one. I was like now I want to go to the other one. Bruh. You know it's crazy not shipping on a black business because the food is phenomenal. Service when the food is good, I really don't think it needs to matter.

Hole shit, no, no, no for patrons, hear me out again, say this again. You don't think that service needs to be good when the food is good.

That was food.

Look at you right now, y'all have been hearing me talking about Lucy for almost eight years on this show. I have never experienced worst service in New York City than Lucy n However, I will die on the sword that that is one of the best pops outside of France.

Now go good food, plumes with good price. If I a lot of times and now you could do a hole in the wall that has really good food. To me, if I'm going to a restaurant and the food is so good that it's price, that is nigga, you crave.

That's why I love you.

And all of my friends told me, I can't say the name of the restaurant anymore, though, what oh you're talking about?

The bitch bleeped that out. I don't bleep it out. I don't think the ood is so good.

The service though, but baby, because like every time I brought people, everything comes out on time.

It's not the ambiance is not there for it. But the food is so fucking good. I love it.

They be bringing us out a little shop like it's so great. Okay, so I just found a new My whole girl's be cussing me out, like bitch. I tweeted it one time because a fan wanted to know where to eat. I got two calls, bitch, if you don't delete that sweet, we already cake out the name about Cadence.

The vegan soulfood, but it's black on this one is not black. But I love it. And ice time and now you just want to give them tips. You want to give them hints.

Oh no, let me tell you this almost give out surveys. So for my birthday, my man takes me to this French spot on the East Side. Right, I'm not gonna say the name, but it's fairly like best friend in New York.

Now we go.

It was two weeks later we get back from Mexico, Like was he that shit again? We had a reservation for nine We didn't get seated. Now I did see celebrities. I think I saw Tessa Thompson and the someone else from Game of Thrones, and I was like.

All right, ten twenty we got seated. Oh I would have left.

No, we were enjoying, like they have a cool cocktail bar, so we were having a good time.

But you made a reservation. Girl, hold on, suck my dick from the back. I don't know if we knew what was going to happen, but you know, when you know they about akusho ass. I started huffing and puffing right around forty minutes.

But when I saw all these celebrities walking, oh taper for two, I was like, oh, so they're treating us like shit.

You know we own the celebrities. Bitch. Oh no, no, bitch.

That hour and twenty minutes was so worth it. Matre D comes over to him, Sir, we saw you here two weeks ago. We want to apologize. We shouldn't have opened that reservation up when we had stuff on the books. We're going to make sure whenever you want a reservation, you're here. I'd appreciate it if you can call me twenty four hours before, but if you can't, no problem, doesn't matter how many people you're in.

Bitch, we get downstairs. Would you like more mess coming?

Yeah?

Do?

It's all on the way out. Oh yeah, I do desert another app. I actually do want a dozen s cargo, not six. Oh, bitch.

Let a restaurant fuck up. And it's supposed to be a high end restaurant. Oh you let us sit. Let their shit sit.

Y'all been a hope. They take a little too long.

Bro.

When I tell you I chick came, he was like, this should have been two hundred fifty dollars one like kissing.

I love your patience.

So do you not think your food takets it a little better because of the service in this case that is half of it was free.

Well it was so good.

I came back, but oh, I sounded to say, uh toastallen if they weren't rude or anything, not saying that like they were kind, It's just it wasn't great service.

But I also didn't give a fuck. Is that's so good? Good?

And I think when places are so busy or fatty like TikTok and everybody talks about toast on nis, Yeah, maybe that's why it's like heart and people are rude as fuck coming in. You know, I don't know if they're dealing with a lot, but bitch, I don't give a shit. She could have called me a whore and I would said, thank you, I'll take extra cream better that crazy, of course. Okay, reaction sinary clip. Oh sorry, I actually had hypothetical for you guys.

Hypothetic would you guys go on a date without being able to see or without being able to talk?

Oh, without being able to talk, I'm fallow.

I want to sit across a good look at motherfucker, Like, nothing's worse than talking to an ugly moment.

But you wouldn't know because you can't see. To me, no, I can't talk. That means I could see, right, But if.

You couldn't, you said nothing's worse than going on to dinner with the ugly motherfucker.

If I could talk, then I can see, which means I'm talking to an ugly nigga.

No no, no, no no no no. Oh see we both okay.

Without being able to see them and just talking, or being able to see them and know talking. Oh, I'm still going for the sea because I feel like I can get a vibe, like I've done that with in places like they don't.

Seek the language I've seen. I've seen men. I just looked at them and wanted to subject and then don't start. And then they started talking, and I didn't want to second. No more.

There hasn't been many ugly men that talked their way into But you don't know if they're ugly.

You're going on a date with a motherfucking lyricist.

I told you I don't watch Love is Blind because love is very blind, not blind.

I don't know.

No, love is is the other one? I like looking at someone beautiful. Love is hi, luster is not because the second baby.

Like, I can't wait my grandma, Please tell one of the producers to give them my grandma's old wedding ring. They've been doing all that shit and then next day, you know they know at the aisle because they don't support black lives matter, like none.

He said that, it's just I don't know which one I mean to me. I still would like to be on a date.

What an attractive ass motherfucker, because mind you, if you find we could just eat our food, we.

Don't have to talk. But what if the date is not just food, what if it's an activity? Then I'm just shooting the gun or I'm just looking at the art on the wall. You know what I could do.

I would go to a lounge jazz listening music because I feel like that's the energy itself vibing with someone.

We can go to the movies.

You shouldn't be talking at the movie anyway, and then I can look over and look at your finance.

That work. Yeah, all right, let's sello period. Let's see what this clip is all right playing?

Now?

Highly spiritual women are single because they understand the metaphysical essence of the transportation of energy and alchemy. And the primary reason why it's so hard for them to day and being relationships is because they harness energy that requires a man to have supreme masculinity so much because only

Spirit What's funny is that the voice over a AI, but the video is and it's just fucking hilarious.

Oh the voice is so funny. Yeah, kindly, spiritual women are single. Let me try to repeat what like.

And this isn't just spirit women are single because they understand the metaphysical essence of the transportation of energy and the primary reason why so hard for them today.

During the date. So I'm gonna say this hotel ship. But if you're a very intuitive person, it is hard for you to date.

I think someone and this might not be a synonym, but I look at someone who may be highly spiritual. That means in terms of how they view the universe themselves, maybe they're more in tune with themselves, which means oftentimes they're single because maybe they're just happy with themselves.

That's a good point.

We talk about that, like, I think that in terms of how a lot of people date, they date with the means of looking for a band aid. They date to find someone to bring them happiness or to make them whole. And we've had the conversations that unfortunately that's what we were taught right, like to become one right or like finding your soulmates, and nan are doing this too, by the way, not wanting to be alone so to

Date because you're less net to put up with all the bullshit.

I don't think there's a world where being happy by yourself doesn't look a little bit like it's spinster.

Oh she can't meet anyone in there's always someone that's like thinking being single is bad.

But when you get to that point where you're single because you know exactly what you want, that's to me when you're on this level.

I was just having the conversation with my homegirl and she was like, bruh, I've been single for so long that I have anxiety about bringing someone into my home.

How long?

I say, she's been single for three years, and so does that mean sexless? Been sexless for about six months, which is like, goddamn girl, I'll pray for you.

For real. It's tough out here.

But we were having the conversation because she's at the age where she's like motherhood is now leaving the idea because she would want to have kids with a man she likes, and it's becoming so almost foreign to her that there's anxiety about like, damn, I wonder if because I've been so single with myself and have this routine in my home, if I'm going to be able to open it to someone else. Like she's literally like, I don't know if I want someone in my apartment to ruin my days.

Because we don't. I don't like anyone yet, which yes, that's just like the real truth. I was like on my soap bag.

And then when you like, nigga is so over and I don't mean it's over for the bad reasons.

It's the same with men. My Nigga jokes a lot about me, like.

Bruh, when I tell you you came soon as fuck like I thought I sing to be out here, and like it's really it.

When you like the motherfucker, that's when this shit starts to happen. So don't get.

Discouraged if you're listening and you're like, I don't know, I got my routine with friends. I don't know I got my routine with this because at the end of the day, when you're excited about someone, you can't wait to incorporate them in that Just like, for example, one of my friends uh Oh, Gila and neg my friend Gila's wedding. I went to their wedding in Mexico City. I kept eating people in their dodgeball team dodgeball or kickball.

But he did it before her. He loved doing this thing with his friends.

He works in community and parks like for a living, and now she loves it, Like you can't wait to like bring your people in, and it's silly to maybe bring up her doesn't sound the exact same, but I found it interesting that something that someone does alone for so long that's their thing.

Once they're so into you and they love you, now it's like, no, no, no, I want to share this with you. I think you can probably attribute that you're gonna se a good movie and you like, you gotta watch this ship. It could be a friend, somebody you love. You need them to experience the same thing. So when it comes to your home, yeah, you can watch fel bad what you said? I told my boyfriend, please go

And I told him I want you to enjoy as much of it as you can. With that. Well, didn't you just you said what?

You just go there now with me charenting it sports, Yeah, I'm not surprised. She it's a little different. It's a little different.

It's okay.

So here's what And for the men listening, it was explained to me the a W short, a w W, W E, wrestling, whatever, all the things is like a male telenovella.

Yes, did you watch that shirt on Netflix? Edit a year round? There's storylines, there's people baked into it.

The audience there was, oh my god, the audience looked like they were either half versions or half serial killers bodies in the fridge.

Ports know, that's truly crazy. I said, baby, just the crowd you be like, I don't know, you don't really watched wrestlers. I'm sure. All I know is I told him, please enjoy that by yourself, Babe. I don't want to ruin it for you. So like, yeah, people don't care. They don't. And I was like, I was watching it. It is the man in the in the type. Okay, maybe if we go see Roman Rains fight bitch is because he's a.

Jason, So maybe I'll go in Raymond Rains, Roman rings or his brother's cousins. It's like a hall love skins and that's one that I'll take some with but shout out to swerve, like when look at the locks the laskin black dude, No, no, no, no, no, this is Roman Rains bitch.

Oh wrong guy, But I'll suck.

He got a light like you can go enjoy it because they all take wrestlers, they all beautifer back.

Have you actually watched a netflixhip of WW you should? I A'm gonna laugh.

The last thing that got that before Karadise, the last thing that I really had the TV like what I went to it and I have no no, no, it's like the dirty deep dark ship they do I have.

I have just said this could be your thing. Sexual assault whoa, No, the documentary.

It was the documentary document like, oh, that's what I mean, not because it's good sexual assaultid bro, you've seen that Nigga tweets, but you like I would have gotten to nig I'll say, yes, when you find a person and they have their thing, you absolutely can join them, but also feel free to also let them keep their ship if it ain't for you.

Well, let's talk about the history of the d The people that don't enjoy the same things as.

Their partner and they never will, they don't give off history of divorce, Okay, right now, Okay, So I thought we were going to do the history of the dick. Oh, the history of the d The earliest known divorce laws were written on clay tablets in Mesopotamia, and you just.

Like bringing up clay.

This is the second time you done brought up the goddamn plods. Yes, the girl had to suck at clay dick for the mummy or something. Mesopotamia keeps coming up in our history.

Secment, Come on, Mesopotamia.

Okay, women were actually granted the right to separate from the husbands.

I don't believe this back then, Okay.

And then there was a code where they had provisions for divorce, so there were a lot of religious influence on why you could or couldn't. In Europe, Christian churches controlled divorced from the eleventh century, with the Catholic Church banning it entirely and Protestant churches allowing it restricted. Muslims in Africa, the Middle East and Asia began using Quran rules, with the husbands generally able to divorce without cause or anything,

It's a country. Does anyone know in there? Before guitar keep guess cutter, Actually is how I said. Singapore, Philippines it's illegal, Oh, Philippines.

To get divorced. And Chile in twenty two thousand and four. I wanted to be ready. Uh, they were one of the last countries to legalize divorce. So now yeah, it's still not I don't know if.

You if you.

Heard so, I want to say it was in Europe. Y'all can in fact check me while I talk. But there women were not able to file for divorce, especially Christian Church. However, there became a rule that if they could show that their spouse wasn't able to get their dick hard, that they could actually file.

Like okay, you cannot goods, I mean.

You couldn't maybe like a blamement on that kids, if this.

Dick don't get hard all the time?

Did you did you find it a frenchwoman's to obtain the divorce because of her husband's lack of sexual function was the European Court of Human Rights?

That's fire, So I mean.

Crazy is in order to prove it too, which this is so dumb, they had to see like he had to try to get hard in front of.

I swear.

You can't get it up in the how you gonna get it up in front of everyone? But I thought she was able to get a divorce.

Speaking of divorce, you know what's crazy about reading the Philippines thing? How many times on ninety Fiance they want that fucking green card. Literally this last season they're showing you the opposite. A white dude who's homeless goes to Philippines. He's like, oh, well, since he's dating a trans woman, he can't marry her because she's.

A man really, So he's like, I'll marry your mom. And I didn't understand when some of the business charact it.

Now this is real. She was still to show this, Oh faith. He was the one that got gone Ria. You seen the clip. No, I'm sorry, I am my algorithm is not ninety day fiance.

So wait, what happened? He went to the Philippines to marry a lady boy, but they couldn't get married because they're same sex, and so he said.

Let me marry your mama.

He's like, yeah, homeless and ain't got nothing to offer, got no money, hanged love has no price to it.

Man, shut the fuck.

Let me tell you. Wait, he said, let me marry your mama for what so he can have When he when he told her about the Gonerria, her face was so. She was like, wait, he had gone reea from you have a the aid? Wait he had gotten Ria from lu though from a girl that he let suck his another transgirl. Wait, he he had gone Ria while he was with her, or before he found out. He had gone Ria while he flew out there. Wow, So he's like, don't worry about it.

I'm gonna get the medicine and player down. No, I'm monogamous.

He fucking just lady boys everywhere, homeless and now trying to marry one's mama.

He was he said, she's not right.

The craziest mart the Filipino girls like how who did you get it from? You told her and she's like, I didn't know what, How did this happen you? I didn't even have sex with her? He's like, well, I said I was gonna sleep over.

She thought it was because he got no home. Girl thought he needed a place. So now he's moving to a country where he can not have a divorce. Well, yeah, so that was the big thing.

I don't think they're still together, but yeah, when people were saying that in the comments, I didn't understand it till this outline. Yeah, because they were like, oh, it's so he can never leave because he wanted a cheap place to live.

I'm curious to know if, with all of the changes that just have happened with technology, with how we date, with how we consume information, if there will be any changes done to divorce, Because for the friends and people that I know currently going through divorces, I was shocked to know that the courts. You can file and then be separated, but you have to be separated for a certain amount of time before they finalize the divorce.

There's so many laws.

Why are you making me say what a nigga I'm saying I don't want to be with because they're like, well, maybe y'all can work through this, and I'm like, wait, I have to be separated from this person before you sure.

That you want to get divorced. That is crazy to me. But there's another thing.

In Japan, women have to wait and this is kind of the opposite six months until they can get married to someone. Oh really, So if you want to know Marrily Kardashian, no better, you gotta fucking know unless the woman's pregnant.

And then in Japan, since they have that role in the beginning. Most divorces are straightforward, one page form. It doesn't even require going to core.

You can do the shit online.

Oh we get I might get get married in Japan if I'm finna get married, one page document, no court, We just divorced and is done, okay. Common reasons for divorce. I mean, tell me, I'm gonna give you the the four.

Tell me what you think is number one, two, three, four, okay, okay, drugs and alcohol abuse, infidelity, mental abuse or physical abuse, and incompatibility.

Well, I know most people, when they don't want us to be in their motherfucking business, say that they rooted for irreconcilable differences. So I'm going to say that one's first, then in fidelity, then the vices, then the abuse and shit, because.

Yeah, incompatibility is the first number one, and then it's infidelity, yeah, and then yeah other the other two are Unfortunately people stay and put up with those things.

Yeah, for quite some time before that becomes a reason, Like it has to get really bad for people to leave for those reasons.

But I think most most of the forces that we see.

Publicly or irreconcilable differences, which is I think incompatibility.

The lowest rate for the divorce in the world is India. Out of a thousand marriages, only thirteen.

But most of them are Muslim, which means they can have multiple Right now, they're Hindu, isn't that their religion? Am I dumb? Maybe I don't know religion like that? What's the religion in India?

But can't Hindus can Hindu's Hinduism followed right. Islam can they have can they have multi? Can Hindus have more? Eighty percent of Hindu is No, it's muscle.

Is Hindu? Can Hindu get? Can Hindu get? Hindu get multiple? Wise? Listen the way, by the way, just the way we be asking questions.

Just watch hat GBT know exactly what the hell we'll be talking about and be offering out even more.

Well, I have to go get my home depot rates dis sorted. I hope you guys.

By the way, Hindus, Oh, Hindu law generally prohibits polygamy.

They just they're just staying and get it. They having fun in the sun. That's crazy. Not fun in the sun. But that's wild.

What it's a sunny and sunny I don't know how sunny in Philadelphia and Mumbai it is.

It is like on the equator. I think, so it's really hot. I think it's close to the equation. I don't know there's a problem about it.

White girls that do restaurants reviews, we just I don't like that.

The girl from Top Chef tried to get them on how they know, No, she got it.

They said Tiki massala and they said Brianni whatever this is. Tiki Masala is crazy and two white women judging ethnic cuisine.

To that degree. Okay, do you want to not fue bro? You want to know how bad that who white went to Jamaicans the Ox and that's how they do tikas tika.

And you know what I just found out, buttered chicken get Indian food only on the East coast. Bitch, I didn't know buttered chicken really wasn't It's like East Coast Indian food.

Oh no, no, no, no, no, this is different.

No when I'm talking about South Asian Southeast Asian, like you know, you're trying.

To say Indian cuisine right right right.

Buttered chicken, chicken, egg, buttered chicken.

We tried three in La.

I know now I think about Tiki said, where the fuck is the buttered chicken? Well, let me stop talking shit because the family wite girls.

And if I'm going to wait, wait wait, wait, where are you gonna say about better chicken? Where that at?

Because I tried three different Indian it's just that Indian they have butter chicken. I said, they don't have butter chicken in Lad.

I came back home and I said, nigga they got Bama, get one free, bought a chicken it love it, don't.

I was gonna say, I don't know where the Indian restaurant is from, but like, for example, Dashome, which is really popular in London.

I don't know what India was called before it was India. Oh there was another name for it. It got Bombay, it got the rebreak Bombay. Their cuisine is a little bit different, so like there's different shiit too.

Yeah, I was gonna say that there's like different types of Asian cuisine.

I know Asian cuisines when I'm talking about Indian goddamn. Okay, y'all, do not mind our geography lesson at the end of this episode.

Let them talking about sex. This is not a food show. This is not a history chick. But you gotta go see. I'm not gonna lock me.

Roast these girls on a Michelin starred restaurant named Semma Bitch today for you crackers.

She really you know why you don't like it because it's not for you. I'm like, yeah, I like that ship. I didn't like that ship.

Anyways, y'all make sure you pre order our book, No Holds Bared wherever you get your bugs and if you want to see more of us, once a week bonus episodes drop on the Patreon, so join us. Damn Luggage driven over uh Patreon dot com backslash, horrid Bled Decision Yons, y'all.

Thank y'all for tuning into another episode of Decisions Decisions Bye,