Ep. 414: If He Wanted To, He WOULD

Speaks to the planet.

I'll go by the name of Charlamagne of God and guess what, I can't wait to see y'all at the third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. That's right, We're coming back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April twenty six at Poeman Yards and it's hosted by none other than Decisions, Decisions, Man, DyB and Weezy. Okay, we got the R and B Money podcast with taking Jay Valentine.

We got the Woman of All.

Podcasts with Sarah Jake Roberts, we got Good Mom's Bad Choices. Carrie Champion will be there with her next sports podcast, and the Trap Nerds podcast, with more to be announced. And of course it's bigger than podcasts. We're bringing the Black Effect marketplace with black owned businesses, plus the food truck court to keep you fed while you visit us. All right, listen, you don't want to miss this. Tap in and grab your tickets now at Black Effect dot Com Flash Podcast Festival.

Welcome to Decisions Decisions. I don't think you should say the Decisions. It sounded like you was talking to Kursky.

You definitely say to welcome, Welcome to the new podcast how about you want to say together the Decisions Decisions.

Welcome guys to another episode of Decisions Decisions.

I'm your girl, Mandy.

V Mandy is geek, y'all, don't do that, y We had a great photo shoot today. I woke up at five in the morning for this shit. I'm over it. But bitch, let me tell you how over it I am. Yo, Nigga sent you flowers. My nigga heard me getting upset on the phone and said, I'm flying down there.

Oh yes, that's cute. It's cute.

But like, bitch, don't script, no, no, no, I ain't even hold you.

So I just spent two days with my boyfriend. We were working on the West Coast, and so after our shoot, we just had a five hour cover shoot.

Y'o. We're cover girls. I love it. We'll give you with the We'll give you guys updates on.

That when we can. But so I get a call. I said, first off, who this? I don't even I ain't answering six, seven.

Eight, fol foe, none of these numbers, because what fuck is you calling?

Anyways, I answer it.

I'm at We have just enough time to eat before we came to the studio and so I'm at the Ruth Chris getting the stuffed chicken because that's what a bitch orders, and this person calls me. It's like, I have a flower delivery for you, and I'm like a flower delivery, bitch, so where I live.

Can't find it.

So I'm like, you know what, come to Ruth Chris and drop these flowers off.

So I'm talking to our manager Alex, and I'm like, I noticed nigga showing out.

I literally say, listen for the audio listeners. Let me smells beautiful white, mind you literally roses and all the things. It says, Mandy, you sucked my dicks. That is not what it says. Okay, it says my cover girl, mind you. He tags it ab because he's like, I know you like to post on the internet and I know I'm active.

So the last time he sent me flowers, bitch, they didn't have the note. So he's like, not David, like this is my nigga.

No, no, no, no.

He was like, what the fuck do you mean they didn't have the news And I'm like, I ain't see no notes.

So I'm glad you told me.

This feeling about that I don't give a fuck, and he's like, what do you mean there was no note. I specifically signed it activate because I know you'd be on the internet and you want to pass it. So he literally is like, he signed it activate specifically the last time he sent me flowers because you know how he posted it on the internet.

And me say, you activated. I don't know if you listened to the show.

No no, no, no, he don't. Well I told him he can't. No no, no, no, tell you right now, Nicole.

You're starting strong.

No no, no, always got two flowers and you're not gonna lie.

Almost too strong to it.

So I'm at dinner, I'm like, I just noticed nigga did not send me no flowers, So I get the flower.

Mind y'all.

If you guys are not on Patreon, subscribe bitch, because I give y all a tea. Patreon dot com backslash horrible decisions, and in Vegas when he tried to get jealous at the other nigga hit in my line right, I literally told him I'm nominated in Walking a Red Carpet and my homegirl brought me flowers.

You didn't even bring me flowers? Yeah, old you.

He gonna spend at sixty nine flowers elbow. When I tell you he sent me flowers, y'all heard a couple of weeks ago when he came to see me in Atlanta, and now to get these, I literally called him, like you show it out me. I literally honestly getting flowers at Ruth Chris while you have mad makeup on.

It's just like I was like Beyonce. I literally called him like you is showing out thank you.

It was really sweet. Honestly, I think it really just goes to show.

If he he will hold on. That's the day of this episode. Do you know what's crazy?

If you guys, and this is not an ad because we don't already got our check, but one of them days with Kiki Balmer, and they started the first dialogue. I don't know if y'all ever read the script if you watch it, because now it's streaming the very first line that said.

If he if he wants to, they started in a diner.

While they're sitting at the diner, it is two other people having a conversation.

And when I tell you that stuck up out to me.

It's almost like a sign if he wants to, he will mind you the conversation like when I told him like, yeah, there's other niggas that want me, Like we had the conversation about all that, and I think he literally he told me he was like, I felt like I was going to lose you if I didn't step up and do the things you said you wanted.

He bitch he doing here.

He very afraid you're losing me. So I'm just like, woke up. He adores me.

We're watching the season finale together of Paradise, and I'm just like, how do you watch it together? So you play yet? So we'll text each other.

So last night we were supposed to watch it when we landed, but his flight got delayed, mine got delayed. I said, Babe, I have a whole fucking shoot day tomorrow.

Ye not staying up. Let's watch it tomorrow.

And so I text him and I'm like, let's watch it tomorrow.

So how we watch a show together? Because I said we have to watch shows together. We'll tell each other when we're gonna start because we're three hours different, so we have to make sure we're both at home. So I'll be like, Okay, tell me when to start, and I'll be like Okay, talk to you in fifty seven minutes. Well press play at the same time, we'll text each other through.

Didn't you say there was a dude you want on a date with that?

Why are you bringing up another nigga? No, grandma, talking about the one that I'm dating right now. Don't use okay program.

There is a computer program. So I did have a virtual date where basically he was given a code. If you buy a movie, you share the code and you're able to watch it at.

The same nigga. That's fine. Oh it was fire. Oh not only that he sent me like I he sent me snacks to watch it with him.

But we're not gonna talk about another nigga right now because I got a boyfriend. So you think your ex boyfriend's watching this and listening, but you don't want to tell that you already know. Okay, y'all since, by the way, friends have suggested not to share this. Oh that don't no, no, no, They only suggested because he's a narcissist, so he may I don't know what he would get from this, but I didn't respond yet and it's because hold on, so can I tell okay, So let me let me tell

Bulken one day after I said hold on, you gotta say.

So, so Weezy, So we did back to back days, right, actually we did three days back to back. So Weezye and I are in the studio and we're both like, che'sing, Oh, we got boyfriends.

Hopefully y'all still say here because y'all hate when we happy.

Anyways, So she's like, you know what, I wonder which one of our exes is going to hit us first? And so we're sitting here having this conversation. I'm like, bitch, I don't know.

The next day we go into the studio, we record two episodes.

We're on our last one. Bitch, it is three thirty eight pm. That was so crazy, I say, bitch, I notice sing what the fun I don't think it should?

I say, come to Manifest? Hold get one hundred million dollars deal? Hold on, no, no, no? When going to happened?

The first day or second day, we find out we're a New York Times bestseller?

I thank you? Keep going? What else you want a Manifest?

I like the New York Times bestsellers. Y'all know holds bar to do a manifest on sexual as next shore.

It gonna be bo.

So anyways, we're recording Bitch my Heart sink fuck nigga. I get a fucking email from my ex. Now listen. I don't know if the nigga in the blogs, if he's a patron, if he saw my Instagram live.

Jagging about my new boyfriend. I don't know what it is. But literally, while I'm in New York.

Probably a week after I announced that I'm in a relationship, I get an email.

Should I read it?

I could go through it quick only because we see real messy. We probably shouldn't do this, but we're gonna do it anyway. Let's read No, no, no, it's I could read through a pass.

Oh no, we want a long bitch. So god, wait, are you sure you want to do this?

And do because I'm gonna tell you because I'm not responding now, I'm gonna respond publicly because he's probably listening, probably watching.

Oh you guys, we are going to respond to my ex publicly. Are you ready? By the way, Dwayne, maybe put the violin music to the back of this.

Let's sound design this ship, and you know what I would say, sorry, but sorry about the fact that you lied about having cancer, because I'll never forget.

Keep going subject line gratitude.

Oh bitch, Hey, I hope this finds you in good health and happiness. I'm sitting and do I'm sitting in deep reflection about our time together, and the word quote unquote gratitude keeps coming to the forefront of my mind. I'm grateful to have you enter into my life at the time that you did. I wasn't whole when you met me. I sincerely appreciate the love that you shared with me. I didn't know that I needed it at the time.

I continue to.

Pray that my presence in your life will be more than a wound that doesn't heal.

Pray.

There are many things that I wish I did differently with you and I it's ironic that you introduced me to the Nude Beach because I've always been a man who was too afraid to fully reveal myself to others. You gave me courage to grow in a way that I doubt I would have ever. Instead, I probably would have taken my fears to the grave with me. Although I'm still an introvert who keeps his deepest pains and fears himself.

I am trying to be a better man to the world.

Although you were decades younger than me, you are light years ahead of me and living fearlessly.

Please know that there were many things.

That I was too afraid to share with you at the time, and even now, my coping mechanisms were never righteous or honest. The wake of pain that I left behind makes me ashamed more than you could ever imagine. Please know that you are loved, You are appreciated, You are beautiful.

You deserve the best.

I wish you heard this. You let's avoid in my life because you are one of a kind. Gratitude is how I forever remember you from this point on. Sincerely, Blank, Keep shining. So I would like you to know Blank, that I sent this to my current partner and we had a conversation about I did. I sent it to my therapist, and I sent it to two of my dearest best friends. Shout out Antonette, shout out Crystal and Honorary.

Shout out to Britain.

So I sent this, yes to the people, as well as write it to the room when you sent it and the consensus was that you heard that I was finally happy. I want to share too, that many times in our relationship you said that I would never find better than you guy, no job. So my response to you, mind you. I battled with responding to this email for days, but I was so busy, didn't even have the time. Let's be honest.

We were traveling, working all the things. That was my first reaction too. I think he knows.

So I don't know if you know that I have someone right now that completely adores me, that we spent time getting to know each other, that supports all of my endeavors, that supports me and only wants to see me rise and climb.

But my response to you is thanks, but no thanks. I have found the person that you thought I would never find, and I want you to know that I always deserved what I thought I deserved, that you were always incapable of giving.

And what that said? Pleasy? What's your ketchup? You know? Not you grabbing the teeth from me? Bitch? I was That was not a part of my life. I didn't say it. I said no to late. No, you you knew what you were doing, you were producing. It's okay.

AnyWho don't email me again. I will never be with you again. And I deserve the world. And if anything, that thank you was a thankfulness and gratitude that I saw everything that I don't deserve.

It just a little today, little day and I get away.

Let me tell you, niggas, hey when fine, skinny airy, Let's be very clear.

Definitely was getting await with ass. But can we can we also talk about the spidy senses?

Oh no, no, no.

When I look back at our pictures, I had.

Love weight on me with that nigga, but also pandemic weight, so probably wasn't even love what nigga was pandemic weight.

Maybe because you were with him so long you lost weight. I lost waiting to gain weight again.

But the spidey senses of it all, You're right, he it's either spidy senses or he heard it.

You believe spidy senses exists.

I think I think if I had an ex that I could have access to to see what they're doing and what they're up to romantically every week, I would you would, Yes, I would. I don't think I would do it for a long time. But if I miss you, I'm gonna just look bitch. We broke up a year and a half ago, almost two years ago. That's not that long ago, maybe maybe two years. You talk about him often when whenever you're angry about it, you want

You ready, and I know some of you bitches sucking his dick. Listen to this motherfucking podcast because you no, no, no, I'm so scared to bring my partner out to wear a fan season because he cheated on me. Four of the b just three of them were fans to where they were like, I can't believe you were with her, and then he had the nerve to say, they're not really your fans.

They don't like you because they're sucking your dick and they're confused why you love me? Yeah you already.

No, I'm gonna cut I cut that out of that episode because wait, did you?

I did? But I don't share enough of you.

But basically it's just that whole energy of like why not me? You know what I'm saying, And I realized, like feeding it really is the problem because I really am happy, but sometimes I'm just bored and I feel like cussing these holes out.

But wait, what's up with me? Oh? Fun story? Let me.

H?

Oh do that noise again? Mandy?

Oh, I have a story for you, buddy.

Oh wait, did you hear me? Fucking girl?

No?

So no, we had a gig in Denver, man for well, it probably is out now right, No, it's out.

Okay, Oh wait it's out now? Do you have a rock hatch?

Just on?

We got time to talk? Yeah? Is that what it is? We got time today? We got time today, av that was so much fun to be We.

Were waiting Don Sanders and Rocky Dspo on a two who would have.

Nomina a bit?

So they had a business class flights, two flights ground transport.

It's the lanies and a sweet beet hello.

So uh, basically Mandy's man is in La So it makes so much sense to No, I didn't give a fuck by the way you say that, I didn't give a fun that nigga was in tim Buck two.

If he was in Europe.

All I knew was I had two flights on somebody else. I said, bang, come on, clear your schedule, you're coming to Denver.

Well, so, uh what happened? Oh yeah, Mandy had time so mad, they put your room next to mine, bitch. I was very confused. I was like, what fu so anyway? But luckily so my flights at five am? Right, oh you were so. I fell asleep around ten, right before I go to bed. I said to my nigga, oh.

The way, I didn't even tell you. Mandy's room is behind me, and he said so. I was like her man's were hurt.

So he starts laughing. He's like, what do you think she about to be loud? And I was like, yeah, I do. I waked up that one. No, maybe not one. I woke up at like eleven thirty. I can't hear that much in this video. Wait, you did not. You didn't know. I can't you did not. I WoT Mandy, you woke me up. So I just took a video of you laughing. You look at you laughing. You can't

Right before I fellat and he's like, man, you ain't gonna wake up. Just sleep girl. I heard Mandy's oregon.

I honestly woke me up. No, it didn't. Don't didn't. Oh, my mother, you want me so dramatic. Well, let me say this. You can hear you didn't have a five o'clock flight, we would have woke up. We were louder in the morning.

At night, bitch, we when I tell you, I was so tired, mind you, we started watching Men in Black. Tired well, because there was no Netflix, there was no nothing, So bitch I was like, okay, let's watch Men in Black.

All I know is I say, and this is the bunny part. Bitch.

I fell out that Nigga was up three hours after me. I was so tired because I had just spent three days in New York.

I was so exhausted.

I was really trying to be quiet. I don't think so okay, damn excuse me. When I was like, oh, she's doing this on purpose? She no, because I literally, but the bed is right, you know what. I was helping because I don't know if you got by flipped no, no, no no, because you needed to check in. You had a regular king bed. You didn't have a sweet right.

I had a three with you guys. That's nothing I was. I was hoping that there was a living room divider and your room was on the other.

Side of the Oh you had this sweet. I had the sweet because I didn't wait for it.

You didn't wait for it to check in, So I was like, we should be good because if it's like this, there's a whole living room.

I did not think you was going.

I was praying until you don't heard it back, But now it was funny. I'm trying to think, Oh yeah, I was just thinking with the whole if he wants to, he will something that I really am starting to sink into when my friends are having issues with their partners, and I know I'm in a new relationship, but we've been dating you for a minute now. But still, when my friends are having issues, when I've had issues.

It's really just because niggas ain't showing the.

Fuck up so to know I'm feeling distressed and you're just like, okay, well then I'm going to be there.

I'm telling you friends do this, and we see them do it effortless. Yeah, effortlessly. Yep.

My friends would jump on a train playing, they'll sit on FaceTime with me. But for some reason in the past, you just struggle with romantic partners showing up that way, right?

Why is it so hat? It's not that so.

I do think that the mental capacity it's different between men and women.

I do think that not to gender war this shit at it at all. But I also think that friends that I was here before, I'll be here after.

I think our friends have seen us through multiple relationships, have seen us grow, I have seen us change a lot of times. Our romantic partners don't know the evolution of where we were to where we've come to, and so I just think our friends are more forgiving in our evolution, especially romantically with other partners, because we've all.

Your friends do.

I think the friends aspect of it, though, it's like, so I think there is a hierarchy. Like I'm not religious, but let's just say it like this, God, yourself, your spouse, your family, friends.

I love this hierarchy switches for everyone. All right, I'm saying this is how I think people consider it. Okay, you put God first, you put yourself, then your partner, then then your kids whatever they say, husband first, We'll talk about that later, and then friends.

For me, what I'm realizing is that I think friends have become family. I'm an only child, Like they just seem to get it. And for some reason, I felt like I was begging in the past for niggas to get it, and I.

Would put men and women i've dated.

In this place of hey, like we're sticking in it now it's us. And I think it was not that it wasn't like it just wasn't instinctual for them. Where now I see that it is. My problems are his problems? Like all the way I see it every single day. It could be a work problem.

What do you want me to run and do? How can I help you?

Yeah?

And vice versa.

Right at this phase in our lives, his entrepreneurial ventures allow for more free time where mine don't. And so he literally said to me, like, yo, if me being on set with you makes you feel better, and that's the way we got to spend time together while you're in this phase of your life.

Cool, I'm gonna do this with you. But I don't think.

I've really had men that will do it for me. My friends, for some reason, would seem to go to the end for me where men wouldn't. And maybe I just wasn't dating partners that were that had I don't know, but I would say I am very needy when it comes to emotional things, and so I have friends that can scratch at It's not all of them friends that will caddle me if I want it. Vinnie's not a coddler,

I mean, to me, the men that I have ended up leaning towards the most, not only with my ex, but just even it in my twenties, non flashy, introverted quiet. Did I say not flashy because I hate flashy niggas, But they've all been completely opposite of me and have found to be like just enamored by how I can exist in a room.

And me and my my boyfriend talked about this in Denver. He was like, do you know what I love about you most?

Which, by the way, we had the conversation, I said, just so you know, Nigga, I ain't hand to ill word first.

He said, oh, I know, you think I don't know. You don't want to say it fast.

I know, Oh, I told him. I said, I ain't saying it first. Nigg I said it last Time'm not saying it again. But but he said, you know what I really love about you most? I said what He was like, how self sufficient you are. And I don't know if it's because of our age difference. But in my last relationship, not the why you need men to need your chapters if you read no host barred my I end the chapter with how proud I am that I can choose partners because I want them.

And at the demise and end of my last relationship, he felt difficulty realizing or figuring out where he fit into my world because I didn't need him and to have my boyfriend this weekend say hey, it's what I admire about you most.

He's like, I know that if I can't do this, you're gonna have it.

But everything that I give to you, he said, everything I give to you, to you as a person in this relationship is just on top of the things you need, I can show up in a way that shows up and he said, I can just service you. And I was like, do you know access service is my number one love language?

Oh? That's right, it is is the service right now. So he's like, what's his love language.

I will say I think it is physical touch based on us being together. However, when we're away and I want to confirm this, I think the way I show up.

I ended up just sending him things.

He has a movie dropping and it's a lot, big production company, big cast around him, and he's like, it's like my anxiety da da du. So I'm talking him through and I was like, I think you have imposter syndrome. I think information, so I think words of affirmation right now, Like I sent him things about imposter syndrome, I said, listen, I've been there. I want to help you work through this because you need to be able to show up through the premiere of this movie, and I think you deserve to.

Be to care.

We talked about it because there's multiple cities, so it depends, it depends, it depends which city.

I'm waiting for the New York dates we have the LA dates. I'm hoping for San Diego.

He doesn't know if he's going to South, Like there's so many things we don't know where all he's supposed to be. But I'm like, you worked hard, you deserve to be in these rooms. You're there for a reason. Can you not say here and let your anxiety take over? And so I he's like appreciated that I can come to him about that. So see what you got a nigga that's got an ambition?

Bit I love an ambitious niggas. What you from being a retired nigga? I will say, though I have, I've had decent. They've been decent.

My ex was very successful at his corporate job and he really was trying to see a design company through.

I Also, it's so weird. I an't amost have a tight because this one's good at interior design and he, you know, buys homes. And I'm like, what is that for me? Liking an art nigga?

Just a nigga that knows an art nigga?

Do you know you?

But no?

Just course here what I'm just looking at? First of all arts as niggas your type?

Bitch? Fuck you mean you have a fucking septem ring Okay.

So anyway, no ho Bard, you guys already know we're trying to get on the best sellers list, and boom, I'm gonna read a quote from the book. We're gonna just dive into it and just give our opinion on it. This is from one of my chapters Love It.

So it says he stopped me and said, listen to me, you are always going to fuck me. Do you hear me?

You about to fuck me all the time? This pussy is about to be my shit, and we're gonna be fucking all the time. On the first time he entered me, I never had anyone say that. That feeling of being that wanted had me looking past a lot of shit. A man in his forties with no real serious relationship history or kids. A man in his forty who's getting fucked up every weekend, known on the party scene, and who's running around with a twenty seven.

Year old me.

Hello, red flags, and here are the three red flags I should have noticed. History of short term relationships, avoiding emotional intimacy, and partying excessively.

My question to you is, if a man.

Doesn't have a long term relationship and goes out a lot when I think back about what I wrote, Yes, I do think there are red flags, but do they really matter? Like if a nigga really had never had a long term girlfriend, is that really a problem.

Do you know what's crazy about that? I'm that person you're describing.

So me and my boyfriend just had this conversation because even though I have him by eight years, I was like, when it comes to this relationship, shit, you're more experience than I am. He's been in two previous long term relationships, okay, and to me, even with us being together now, I was like, I looked at that as a red flag. I said, So, nigga, are you a serial dater?

Oh?

All right?

Said, how the fuck you've been in two long term relationships at your age?

I don't think it's I do think it's bad if the woman was that close. I have you by eight years, and.

Like, twenty six is not a crazy age to have two long term relationships.

The long term to me is more than two. You ready, I got in my first real relationship.

Okay, that show my point. But it's actors. As a mom, I don't know, maybe, but I was just like, to me, it could be, it could be.

It could be, but it could be a red flag that you jump from one relationship to another if you are say you're thirty and you've been in relationships to where you're now dating at thirty years old, and you're sitting across from someone in the person that you're talking to, you say, yeah, so I've been in three relationships over the last ten years.

One was four years, one was three years, one was another one was three years. To me, it's a red flag for someone to also be a serial dater, because I want to know.

You've had some single years.

Are you are you gole to be alone? Have you gone through your whole phase? Are you somebody that is content with yourself? Or are you codependent?

How funny is that we really want somebody to go through a whole face.

I want someone to also just be able to sit with themselves. I don't want someone to feel like they need to be up under me.

Oh I got some tea on the Fun Girl shit. Uh oh.

We had a clip a few weeks ago about do men marry the fun girl in the para Society thinks homeboy called me who's married engaged, and he was like, bruh, he's I saw a comment you left on there. Okay, I hope he's not offended. Now he won't be his girl's cool.

He was like, you said that these wys are the fun girls. He was like, you already know how, bitch.

And they met her at Aftes. Okay, he was all fucked up. They was fucking going crazy wild. He's smoking, drinking and he's like, yo, like, I think if the fun girls past a certain age, they're just having a great time in waiting for love. Like I think girls can go out have a great time beat you know, not even in the streets, but just like go enjoy your life till I show up.

And he literally was like because I hate.

A bitchess, motherfucking house Like, bitch, you could be fucking niggas every time every weekend.

You ain't no better.

You invite him niggas over drinking tea in the Hennessy Hello, watching the Netflix and he said, robe and linguery.

I wanted to share this for the single ladies because I said, tell me what about her fun girl?

Shit didn't bother you?

He said, well, we shared some stories and I will say and this to me is a society thing. He's like, all her little host shit was before we moved to the same city. So I don't really feel like i'd have to run into them niggas, which in the clip you were saying men care with society things say dociety community. He's like, I don't really feel like I have to

Oh, we just had this conversation.

I said, if you come with me to work, or I come with you to work, hopefully it's the city that I help someone. If you have to be on set, I'm gonna let you don't go on to link my home girl, let me know what you've done being out with your little ector friends.

Like, I think that it's great, but I think when you get older, there's a sense of existing within community friendship.

Professional that becomes separate.

I think in your twenties you look for someone to make you whole and for someone to come so much of a unit that when you're in your thirties and forties and beyond, you're able to be like, just come in, make me better. We can enjoy things together, but we're gonna have other things we have to enjoy separately as well.

Now are you ready for the third thing? What's the third thing?

This is gonna be a testing one because my questions are like, what made you want to lock it down?

This one?

I feel like niggas ain't gonna lie. But this is coming from a man late thirties. I'll just say that I don't want to give too much, but well seasoned in the dating game and a man that a lot of women want. He said his current fiance Okay, made it very clear he was not the only man she was dating, which is what I just did.

And she said, Hey, if.

You decide that, like, at some point you may want to take this relationship to another level, we need to have a conversation about that because I have commitments with other people too.

Bitch. I remember when he told me this, But he doesn't ever telling me, but I do. He was like, what was whole trying to tell me?

She fucking other niggas Like like, I get like act like I can't really want her like that, and I'm like, oh, when you told me about it, you was just like, I don't give a fuck, bitch, And he was like, oh, of course I gave a fuck. Like niggas is sweating over there when they find out you have someone else speaking your interest. Did I tell you about the birthday gift? And yeahs toget with my boyfriend. He said, I know you told me a nigga got you a door bag

Let's get into.

Reactionary okay, Oh no, I got a hypothetic, Oh, hypothetical to this. Let's do it hypothetically speaking, really simple one, but it's a good one, okay. Would you rather be wealthy but only be able to walk everywhere?

Okay?

Or be broke and be able to travel however you want?

First off, how do fuck up and to walk from here to New York? Bitch? What type of walking is we doing so? Basically? Okay, so here we go.

I'm gonna bring back a horrible decisions answer and say I'd rather be broke and find my way to be able to travel wherever.

He too, and he does, pussy gonna do? It's sang because I don't want to build a compound. What are we talking about? And now I have will walk to the club.

Wait a second, walking everywhere? Hold no, no, no, let me tell you New York spoils us.

It makes you believe you could walk and get places. I'm in Atlanta.

Now it'll say seven minute car ride, so I'm like, oh, bitch, let me see, bitch, fifty one minute.

Know like what I think? It's the up down? I don't know what it is there ain't it ain't dead terrain.

No, the last time I stayed at this you get down here? Who was Starbucks?

Bitch?

It was a uphill and I know the staircase like you like plot.

You want to know what problem is?

You don't go above mid tell because bitch, if you went up to the heights, it'd be hilly up in the heights.

I don't even know that is Washington Heights. D I thought you meant no, I'm talking about New York, now, bitch.

Atlanta hasn't midtown, okay, girl, I'm talking about the heights in New York.

Oh yeah, Okay, it's hilly up there. I know. All I know is it go from seven minute drive to fifty one minute walk. Bitch? Who you talk?

Know that? I genuinely not even in like the most country way. You're Brooklyn or nothing.

It's barely cunty for you, for sure.

I just it feels far if I live below first and first, why am I going into the hundreds?

I'm gonna go to Brooklyn? That sounds okay, continue with your cuntiness.

Anyway, Okay, reactionary. I saw this clip clip, bitch, yeah, but I was surprised that your reaction.

And you know my reaction. We talked about it in the car. I was like, did you see this? Okay?

Okay, I feel a few ways. I talked about the hierarchy. Girl, play a clip first and then let's talk about it.

Plight a clip again. You and your husband and your child go out on your sailboat. Okay, a sailboat get shut is sinking?

Yeah?

Who are you going to say? The child or your husband. Look, I would choose my child's father because we can make more children. Gosh, that's insane, man. I mean, it doesn't matter how many times I've listened to it. She says it. Here's the thing. She doesn't hesitate, she doesn't like ponder. She says it with her full chest. She's choosing the father of her child. One thing, if I'm that kid, I'm not getting on the sailboat.

I just don't understand how you could live with yourself after you let your child drowned.

She said, they can have more. That's insane. Okay. One of the things she said, it's just kind of scary. Wait, what she really said was butt them key? Really is okay, don't read the comments.

You know.

I got my whole thoughts on this.

It's haply one of those women whose daughter comes and says, my mom's boyfriend doing something, and she will believe her man over the gid.

No, no, no, no, here's the thing. Oh and when I saw this clip, it was very clear to me.

Oh wait, wait wait, because one thing she said that we didn't have any hair. Yes, she said we can make another kid. No, she said that I heard that is if we can't get another husband, keep going okay.

So her saying this response was very telling because when.

I heard it, bitch, I agreed just a little bit to the sentiment that I do not have the biological connection to a child.

She spoke about this as a motherless woman. She or a childless woman.

I'm sorry.

She spoke of this as a childless woman, someone who probably has not grown whatever connection it is to being a mom and a mother, a mother two children. She spoke of it as men are probably her universe, which a lot of men are two women.

By the way, we still want to talk with you, doctor Sarah. Sure, sure would love to have you on.

I also think this sounds very much like this is my answer, because there's the long drawn hypothetical of when you cook a meal, who gets fed first your kids?

To me, though, I think you should feed your husband. You feed your husband first.

So to me, as someone maybe with no kids, if she has kids, bitch, come on and tell me how you have a child and you came up to this.

But to me, this sounds a lot like I'm gonna feed my husband first then the kids. This sounds like I'm gonna save my husband for there.

So as far as feeding first, right, I understand my mom was a housewife and my dad is not a controlling man.

You know, my daddy's not a get the dinner, nothing in him is like that.

But I understood why we prioritize daddy because he worked all day. Okay, So it's like when my dad was coming home in this family dynamic, right, Maybe in some that doesn't work, but yeah, Like I would help my mom set the table. My dad sits at the head of the table, and she would serve his food. To me though, that's the thing. Your mom was a housewife. Uh, your dad provided paid all the.

Bills to me. There's no way you're saying that nigga need to be to me. There's no way a woman.

Who who splits fifty fifty has that same conscious to feed, you know what I mean. I think the fifty to fifty conversation is an interesting one because for some reason we placed monetary value on gender roles.

I we really do think heart of hearts.

There's nothing wrong with even if you're fifty to fifty and you want to serve, if you cook in the meal. If my man is cooking for me, he's probably going to serve me before the gays, right, like I'm going to expe fact, you put the plate down in front of me first, in front of an adult if kids don't even eat as much the little basket right?

Sorry, but no, sorry, the blessings. That was the wrong b word, the blessing. I will say what was disappointing?

Uh?

She said to my child's father instead of husband, she labeled him like a baby daddy. She did.

I think that was just interesting because I was just like, okay, I even get the biblical sense of husband. But if I had to save anyone two people in the street, I'm gonna pick the youngest. Can I tell you, I'm want to pick the youngest person if I don't know you, if I got one hand to pull you up from a mountain, I'm probably gonna pick the youngest.

So I don't even like kids like that. You've lived your life, nigga.

The reason why I probably would go with the kids, uh huh is because.

You paid for this trip.

I know you did.

Because you the husband. You didn't get us the premium v IP tickets to where we get the lifeboats. It made me think of Titanic, Like you know how Titanic many it was the word right now.

I don't give a fuck you know how I was like women and children, but it was really the upper class people who got the boats first.

Yeah, I just watched it on a plane.

You're raggedy ass. Got us basics that we're now in the water drowning.

But you know what what else is even crazier? I'm saving the children.

I'm not gonna hold you. The nigga got too much pressure. Now my kid do gotta come out and be aubert. I sign for fucking right, Okay, nigga. One day five years later, y'all go, Maybe you get pregnant in whatever he gonna see a bit ship.

Look good? Hey you could have had y'all make me back? Wait, you know what? Can I ask you a problem? Can I ask you now a problematic question? What? Okay, this is real problematic, y'all. Don't cancel me for this question. Oh my god, So you and your partner really love each other.

The boat is sinking and your kid is back as fuck, and you you feel like no your kid ate might be he just a fun up kid, like you know when kids are bad as fuck?

Or maybe your kid ugly and You're like, we're gonna try to get on.

This and just want like what if you really love your partner and your kid is like, we need to do over anyway? What did you think?

You know what I mean, drown him, not drowning them.

Yeah, way, I don't have to pay for extra tutors anymore, you know what I mean. I'm saying sure, And our topic today is the history of blow job.

So you don't have kids?

That is crazy, that's right, swallow, don't spit. Sorry, back to back the decisions decisions. This is not horrible decisions. If you want that, please join us on Patreon.

Paton this way to kid kids are swallowing them. So the history of the blow job is interesting.

One the first time there's no way there's real history on this. Well, it's just however it's accounted in time. This ship is crazy. The first documented blow job was w was when a person was resurrected. Wait wait wait wait wait a nigga died, came back to life and a god bitch you liath the Egyptian god king Osiris Egypt I knew it was Egypt always is and his sister turned wife Isis Osiris and isis, so his sister. He was murdered, chopped up into pieces by his brother.

So what did she do?

She crafted a makeshift makeshift dick out of clay, stuck it into his crotch, blew it, and molded it with her mouth by sucking his clay penis.

This is documented, I am.

Not wait, so she had she was sucking clay, yes, and this is all which I don't even I don't even want to suck a condom which was a fucking bud over a.

It's called the osiris myth. You can look it up.

She restored the old sorry's myth, so it could be fake. It's a myth, oh, I mean it's the first documented thought. Okay, so yeah, basically anything documented could be a myth. But they're just saying it was really documented, you know what. So another interesting thing about the history of the blow job, right, it used to be used ooh, sorry, just skipped it.

The term.

Was referred to felatio at first, and we knew that the Greeks come up with all these words.

Latin means to suck.

However, Shakespeare said that to blow meant the orgasm, so an orgasm that makes you That was a Shakespearean term, and then the term blow job became something.

Fi because it's work. The job was easy, that was the easy part. Bits so tired am I getting paid for not going to hold you?

It's one of them exhausting things, enjoyball exhausting.

No, you know what's crazy? It's not that it's not that tiring. And what's also?

Can I ask you a question about this speaking of blowjobs and the history of it, not that it's a hypothetical, but apparently I gave head so good they got flowers that not only that, he told me, he judged me a bit of which you can't. You gotta get to see. That's what any do, he said, I'll never get a great ad.

No, and I but mind you.

He talked to his friend about it because he felt the way that I sucked his dick so good, like where did she learn this? And his friend I had to be like, I'm stuck another day, bitch.

She's almost a decade older than you. Get what the fuck it?

Proverd oh man Man literally said when the first time I sucked his dick. He got mad at me a little bit because he didn't know why it was so good.

Girl. I want to know what his ex girlfriend was looking like and what they were doing.

I do know because we talked about it that they're both black, darker skin, and thin. So when I be throwing it back, I make sure yea yeah, it's like but yeah, acting light but yeah. But you know he never had no coach boy before, not no country booty. No.

Okay.

So the blowjobs in ancient Rome was a horrible thing. Is even worse than anal sex, and for ancient Romans it was anal sex was an unforgivable advice. However, it was totally fine to receive a blowjob for a petty crime. It was often solved with forceful blowjobs. So imagine, explain this to me. What so anal sex was something that was like, uh for like you know, forbidden, but they would use blowjobs as a punishment. So, for example, how is that a punishment for any man? A blowjob is

He would get his di suck. That's a punishment, girl. You know it's crazy.

No, no, no, man made that rule made women feel bad for even giving it, like ooh, this is only for criminals.

And it said if I commit a crime, you go ego by dick.

Oh for sure, straight men did it in the times of Plato and Socrates. Blowjobs were artificially called playing the flute, and so Grecians listed up their togas for someone to come and play their flute, and it was very common for oral sex to be exchanged between men, generally someone of power and someone who doesn't have any Now, in the nineteenth century, it could get you fucking executed.

Blowjobs could get you executed.

Yes, but it says that the history of church going people believed it was something that couldn't be done for procreation.

And I ain't gonna hold you. Let me tell you. I know I've been here.

We go.

You gotta hear me still talk about the past. Me so my Nigerian that I used to be with back in the day. If y'all listen to the old episodes, y'alla hear about my Nigerian he would not do anything sexually except for missionary, but he would not let me suck his dick because he thought it was one of the most degrading, disrespectful things for women to do. And he would not fuck me from the back because he believed that during sex we had to look at each other.

No, he never even tried anal sex. He wanted to be able to look at me while we were having sex, and he never let me suck his dick. It was the easiest trick I ever had. Nigeria.

No, No, No.

By the way, I love a city, hold you them. Chloe is making me believe burna boy got.

It down at his ankle and I would just like to see it. She just looks high the whole time. That's fine. So that means you have good week and good good weedy and good dick.

Did you see the Breakfast Club interview with I just want to say we love you on thank you for this book when Charlotte made not want to press nobody because he fucked with you. He will not press nobody. Lauren, Wow, you did not see this clip of No so oh wait I did?

I did?

Sat Lauren's like, oh what about that? What I mean that was journalism, honey, and Charlotte.

Was just sitting there. But you know, if he wants some t even people don't get it.

He was just like, no, is it because their cousin? Someone said, or that was jose cousins.

I don't know, if you know black and fact, we call each other cousin. So I don't know if that was just a thing.

But Chloe had dodged those questions. That's the media training our want in life. Let's just say twenty years from now, I'm sitting down with an interview. David Letterman's still live, and he goes, hey, you know what's crazy. He looked like he's like Samuel Jackson. That's the white Samuel Jackson. He looked the same old David Letterman has looked old as buck since I've known David Letterman.

Oh and that's Samuel Jackson. I'm gonna tell you what I'm crazy. This is Chloe Bailey trailing.

Now I'm training that I'm gonna take into event. David Letterman's gonna suit me the old and be like so everyone used to say you and Mandy you change the world, but you guys never got along. Could you tell me about that, And I'm gonna say we had a great run together, we changed lives, we had a book.

Why you get that now? If you know? I answer now, I don't. I don't know the training. It doesn't matter.

You're saying it right now, nobody else whatever you think you know how to motherfucker say saying that, I'll be douging.

I need media training so twenty years from now, I can clean this shit up. What did you just answered me with your I really feel like people really don't fuck with me like that in the interview, like they just that to me is kind of like a shitty question. Like today if I.

Went on the platform, and when we're doing book interviews, if someone does that, I just kind of feel like like you're doing too much.

I ain't gonna hold you. Well, we sit down, we want to ask the mess I don't give a fuck. Okay, don't ask me no goddamn mess.

So, and that's pr training because I'm gonna tell you Tyler's team said don't ask her if she's black. Well, you know what, and he didn't read the paper. Ask me the messy shit because I love to be a little petty. But depending on what the money in my account. It depends how much petty I'm gonna be. Baby, don't let me just got a deposit.

Don't bring it up. I'm petty all right, ain't gonna bring it up. Don't bring it up. Courthouse Mandy. Oh, I can't wait till court is over. Oh, bitch, I might come in here singing the huts. Bitch, it's giving. I want Hallelujah. Put it Cameron there like a sock a sop. Oh, I'm thinking about the soap. I'm not. I'm not gonna lie.

My homegirl said, bitch, you want me to show up with you? Say you could jump into my arms after that shit like asab.

Dear Rihanna, Is it gonna say big Dowie.

Yeah, it's gonna be sold to say bitch and nat trial to cilic. You have to show up, bitch, give us one more fucking uh blood. Let me get the fuck out of here. Okay, okay, says y'all know we're teaching history now.

Okay, so blow jobs.

In religion in the Dark Ages, the severity of medieval churches created an era that some few would describe as fun, because everything was jail, behead you, whatever, so going down on someone in the medieval era, fifteen years of jail, the same sentence you'd get for committing murders if you suck the dick. What. In ancient India, falatio was ritualized. The original Sanskrit version of Kama Sutra has an entire chapter to the art of blow jobs that said it

At shit different.

I ain't gonna I like really doing the falatio. We know I would risk the fifteen years. I would risk you because then I want you could get fialatio in jail too.

Wait, not this jail. It's gonna be woman and then it's a dark agent had showers.

Bitch, Now you got you got mail like the CEO's you got dick and Vajohnny you're gonna get they got seo has been the things they like. Prostitutes has been around since the beginning of prisons times.

As soon as then was a prison, there was a co You know.

You do it.

I feel like you just want to pay back your time for the CEO's saving you with the phone. Shout out to the CEO, Hey were you with your X.

When this happened, I was and I was mad because I'm like, Nigga, you in the system, you was a firefighter, Get me out of here. I was in there way too long, Beach. I was like, you ain't got that pool. I thought you was a white collar blue light show. Come on, come on, God damn it.

Don't you know somebody in here?

Literally, bro, I'm gonna tell you right now, if I go to jail in the next few years, switch, I probably will because I'd be ready to fight. I just feel like I'm gonna get in there for something scrappy, and the second I'm in there, They're gonna have this video footage of me getting in the fight at last lap some shit, and I'd be like, I don't understand why I'm still here. I told you guys take more of the money, And I like, why am I here? I'm going a full white woman the box break up.

So now idiot. Y'all.

We are gonna go ahead and get out of here, but before we do, we want to leave y'all a few little announcements because we booked in Busy Cousins everyone who listens to this pod and any of the other Black Effect podcasts. We are hosting Baby the Host. That's right, no live show.

But we well, hey, we are with you all day. Got a third.

Annual Black Effect Festival here in Atlanta, Georgia. I gotta say August, bitch, I'm jumping ahead April twenty six at the Pullman.

Yards, y'all can see.

Running Down, Weezy Trap Nerds, Good Mom's Bad Choices, Naked with Carrie Champion, Sarah James Roberts R. And b Money, There they Go and Us Charlotne also DJed by my good friend Dj Louis V. We're really excited to see y'all there, and we will have some opportunities for you guys to pre order our book, No Holds Bart if you have it yet, and we have some really cute things if you choose to pre order it at the Black Effect Festival, So make sure you get your tickets

Backslash Podcast again.

Make sure you get no holds barred doing Manifesto of sexual exploration and Power available now.

Wherever you're getting off, I'll say it to you.

And then if you guys want bonus content, make sure you join us on the Patreon. That's patreon dot com Backslash Corble positions.

When your ex boyfriend writes you back about that can't believe you on a regular episode.

Whoay and put it right on the patreon. He deserve this.

Okay, we're gonna keep you here for the horror pettiness is really hurt.

A bitch got a deposit, Okay, you know. Anyways, thank you guys so much for tuning in. It's another episode of this isones.

This is the Oons. See you next week.