Ep 408: Dating is a MESS (Ft. Sydnee & Marie)

Welcome to decisions Decisions.

I don't think you should say decision decisions. It sounded like you was talking to cursing. You definitely say to welcome.

Welcome to the new podcast. Oh wait, you want to say together decisions decisions. Welcome y'all.

We back at it again, and I still do not have an insho for decisions decisions, but it is coming soon.

Hon, you can say city owns the.

I.

I kind of want to get some new aka's, but I haven't thought of them just yet because I'm a I'm not about you and the bleep. Yeah, I mean, at this point, we just got to say, I'm bleep bleep, bleep, bleep bleep. If y'all watch us on YouTube, listen y'all. If you want to hear our curse words that bad, go to the audio. You can listen to Decisions Decisions wherever you listen to your paper podcast. Really excited though, we got some guests today.

We do. I'm weasy welcome to decisions Decisions.

Our guests came on horrible decisions, like more than five years ago, did.

Y'all y'all and y'all were did y'all both come on? No? No, we know they did. They never been on here, that's why did they did?

We were together and then we did separately or Marie went.

We did together. I think Marie only came on.

No, I came on there too. In the other it was like a small studio. It was not like this, she said, y'all, we know.

Growth, but well it was that little.

Box y'all may have known, or I know, we both individually went on to your previous podcast, Unofficial Experts, and now y'all are just mess now that the rebrand.

How from unofficial experts to mess to mess?

Well, the unofficial Expert was, but it was very like the sound is corporate, but it's down the earth mess for Oh no, I listen and I'm excited because the ground is corporate for unofficial nficial.

It was very much so mess but messes.

Definitely, you guys, I would say, okay, okay, right, hold okay, So you know what's crazy mess to me? Like when I describe y'all as like you know how when you say bitch, But it's endearing. I love the mess of y'all's lives that I get to hear every week.

You're not cleaning it, Okay, I'm sorry, I fix it for you. Let me fix it for you. Okay.

I think everybody misuses the word mess. I think that things can be messy, but a lot of times you're just living.

You're just being yourself, like growing up, not a horrible something else. So that's what I mean. I like y'all's live. Okay.

Okay, So we're gonna dig into it today because we're gonna talk about uh, dating being a mess. And I've listened to Reezie. I can't wait to get into her her dating woes. Can I say woes? You could say woe?

Girls?

So you give us a great little recap on that Instagram recap.

I run into.

Reezy maybe once a year somewhere, but I feel like I'm connected to you from what's going on on the internet. Okay, you writing the camera and I'd be like, she must have seen a nigga last night.

I feel like he was still there. Are you doing the lights? Okay?

So I guess before we start, just because we're going to be talking about dating, let's start with you two and talk about where you're at currently and your dating world, just so that the audience also knows what lens we're taking it from okay, okay, So are you currently dating with intention?

Do you want to be married? Are you single? Are you in a situationship? Reezie? What is your girl? You sound like my mom? Are you dating with intention? What's up? Where my grandbaby? Control?

Realistically, my mom has never asked me about dating at all. I think my mom didn't want to ever have kids, so she's like, you shouldn't have a me.

So that's a good bit I would like her.

We need to hear more moms talking about how being child free is a choice.

That's okay because like doing it on TikTok. They're saying it on TikTok all the time.

They're showing you, like what their days are and how they're like not worried and they can just get on a fly.

Girl. By the time we y'all leave here, will we have TikTok? I'm not gonna lie. I'm surprised.

Uh, my mom luckily has a grand baby and it's by my lesbian sister, so like she already knew she wasn't gonna get a baby out of me.

But like for my sister.

To look at the gays picking picking y'all.

Up once again, the good work that we do. That is crazy. So reason, what's your relationship status? I'm dating to have a good time.

If I meet somebody that I feel like, I'm not even gonna say checks the boxes, because what is a box?

You know they can she'll know they can. Wait a minute, y'all know about boxes?

A queen about any pocket of boxes?

Y'all have multiple boxes pocket. Let me tell you how.

I don't know, like if just being a little gay is something you can see.

I saw her abundance.

I'm talking about sid If you're not watching and uh my boyfriend watched me.

He goes, do you like her? What was that? I was like, what? He was like? You said five times you had saga? You at saga? I was like, what did girl? I was like, is she a molly?

She's really like, why are you all molly?

I don't know. You're It's good. You looked good. You looked fun and free and having a good.

I think it's because like when I see someone that I haven't seen in a while and this is fucked up.

You better say it, dope, go ahead and stay take your time.

Okay, that's a mess. There's not many people I see that I haven't seen in a while that look better or great, and they don't necessarily have something great to say.

They're kind of like, oh, you know, life is like But Sid didn't have that. She was just great energy, her friends around. They just had a vibe.

Not everybody always feels like that when you run into them.

We just came from Marie Show. We had a good time.

We were like, I had my pants on, my butt looked big, like yeah, I was feeling feeling great.

That was why I couldn't stop saying it, because I feel like when I run into people lately, it's just like.

You was doing a little better.

Also, when you tell when you see somebody and you're like, how you doing? You know, there's always that one random person that will tell you that they're not doing good, and it's.

Like you could have kept that.

The way to the backfield drinking my hand, Molly's still going, what is your relationship status?

You know?

During the pandemic and before that, I was very I'm a monogamous, like serial dater, and I'm always you know, with somebody. So I went to LA I came back, I had some fun and I am dating someone okay.

But the thing is is that I'm trying not to.

I used to talk about my girlfriends all the time and on podcasts or whatever, and then somebody would message them and be like, hey, did you did you hear Sidney? And it's like, oh, I'm like, yo, miss, I'm here to entertain.

Why are you even like listening to this?

No?

Why are you listening to this? Listen to it? Yeah? No, but don't be reporting bad apparent. Apparently one of the dudes that I'm dating posted me in his close Friends with my Yeah, I didn't. He didn't even in the in the photo. What was happening?

It was like a selfie that I had sent him there. It was like posted in the close Friends.

Oh no.

Someone saw it and commented and said.

I don't like, hey, uh, do you listen to her podcast because she talking to other people?

And he was like no, and then he sent him to the links to the both things. I don't know what was worse. Someone violated you like that telling your business. I don't know. I said that, don't sound like a close friend.

Okay, so I'll tell you that's funny.

The close friends.

If you're in the photo and y'all are doing something it's like, okay, he could have the excuse, so my bad. I was just posting being out whatever a selfie you say is wrong.

Selfie, No, that's wrong.

If you send a guy that you're talking to a photo of yourself, because that's technically private and technically intimate. You shouldn't be posting that to a social media patient. And it's so crazy because also hearing four women agree on that, I know men be like, but women want to be posted no, no, no, not like that.

No no no, not like that. And I had no idea that you were doing that. Also, what I said to you and what I was saying to the way, are you.

Not because I look, you know, I'm just sending you something super sexy.

I may not give that much of a fun. Wait, reason are you and his close friends? Did you see him posting? You don't follow each other? That's the and that's the beautiful that.

But I tell you that's the if you're dating you, Guys should not be following each other. And even sometimes I feel like you shouldn't follow your friends because what if people are now you're doing to me because sometimes especially if you're a public figure, what you're posting outwardly for the masses is it might not hit for your friends.

It's not for them.

And so sometimes when friends be watching other people do their thing, it's their little judgment.

So they're like, oh, that's cringe or whatever. But like, this is my business. This is you're not buying my tickets. This is for the people.

That's so crazy because my homegirl, uh, we was on the phone and she was like, but I know you see my stories and I say, you post your kids too much.

I go through, right, I go right.

I don't want to see a whole bunch of post about children. I can't relate. I don't want to watch it. Have you ever seen a get in the car? This is the type of you already know what I'm talking about. Y'all know too.

It'd be a long ass fucking story or balla Dante.

And then it starts like so how was that word? And I'm like, oh, bitch, click click, And then.

You called me thinking I know this aren't to sit there for seven I didn't wait.

Wait, you don't just x I X out of it?

You speed you through?

No, no, no, no, I maybe you got to I don't want to see the whole I don't want to look like.

A Wait, I'll wait till the next day, till yeah, you know what I can't saying, take on a bitch story and it's stay birthday. No, I like it. That's the only way I know. It's your birthday.

Wait, hold on, wait, wait, I'm gonna finish this. Okay, finish this first?

Is it the reposts? Are you mad at the reposts? It's the whole thing back?

Oh?

No, First of all, it's your birthday. Okay, Now I don't click.

Now you know how don't click? So I'm gonna click out. So now you know I ain't shit because I ain't clicked the rest of them. On top of the fact that I'm probably not gonna text you or repost pictures of us, I just feel like now I have.

To be accountable because why just my happy birthday? Friend?

Sure, I don't even except the story, but I'm talking it's random, just cool.

Oh just tap the heart, yeah, tap the heart, tap the heart yeah, or.

Thumbs up thumbs up girl. I don't know about the thumbs up heart. I like low effort. I might give you a little.

What's wrong with the happy birthday?

Oh?

No, no, in twenty twenty five, none of my friends are getting a repost, and it's because three of them last year, and you know who you are.

I'm not gonna call you out because you listen to the part you did three of them. You're doing that on our episode. No listen three of them, three of them, three of them hit me.

Okay, and we're like, now, why would you choose that picture? I don't like that picture? Here post this picture?

Oh bitch.

Now, I'm not getting three friends because I've been friends with all of my friends for over ten years.

I know y'all think I follo out with people I'm friends with important showing up.

Yet up, but I like to post post.

I was stopping right there, y'all. Why are you doing that? Mandy? If you have blown up so much, why are we going back ten years ago?

I was gonna say, I've been friend So there's two things, bitches.

Because you're posting a picture that you look at it. I know I look ten years ago. I was eighty, but maybe you're uncomfortable with your mess, So okay for you to decide.

They should be grateful for the post. But at the same time, like, bro, if you know, like I looked like ship back there. You know, I hate I don't want it.

I don't think they look like all bands up to here. I need why are you why that is a Beyonce crazy crazy bangs? Yeah? Wow, you know the SO and I have we interviewed, y'all. Probably I was. I don't know how that fly out of states.

My friend got a calendar, put a calendar together and hit up my friends and ask them to send.

Pictures so cute.

I want to text me and be like, so that's the photo you chose. I would hate to die and there'll be an obituary and people are doing the power point. I can't trust nobody except Marine power Point yesterday, and it's gonna be on the casket.

You know what.

I was thinking about getting a white casket and doing a projector you know what, the photos on it.

I don't know if someone's gonna die soon, but this freaking me out.

Literally three days ago, talking of my best friend, he's like, you look so pretty, Ingreen, I'll make sure you're buried in it.

No, I don't want anyone saying that's where to say that's weird and put that out.

That's weird to say but do you look pretty Ingreen? I don't.

But you know what though, when you're in a yellow comedian, so you already know. I kind of love talking about death really well. When I was really depressed, I did. But now I'm feeling good, I'm like, oh, I can see myself living more.

Oh, I'll be honest with you.

I'm in Atlanta now and I went to a comedy show Boy is the comedy different? When I'm up here everyone's talking out suicide and jumping in front of trains. Down there, they're talking about fried chicken and how they talk with I'm just saying it's completely but Atlanta is people are doing.

They're doing. There's garlic promisean wings.

Yeah, they're not getting petticures with Hennessy on their It's completely different out there.

And so I was like, Atlanta.

So that's another thing I realized, hold on, hold on, mess No sounds like a you.

Know, it's crazy. The how they speak. I didn't realize.

I don't really I've been in New York a long time, so the way they drag everything, I'm like, what if they say girl, I'm trying to have to They speak a different language.

It's very country, very country. That's very answer.

But I have a limit to country, right, So like being from Florida, you're immersed in country ship once you realize there's a place out of health. Then you go to the country for three days and you're.

Like, no, they like, you know, don't mean like it's like, what is the person wearing rells when they say that, because I think that's even sexy.

They have a list, They got a twin. You want a list? You can't wear a grill? Why you're gonna be spitting gold teeth at me? You're all spitting bracest right now, George. You should hear me.

When I read a fucking listener letter, I'd be like super.

I mean, like, you say you so much? You know, honey, I couldn't say decisions decisions.

You still can't. You still will.

Y'all want to break this up a little bit with are hypothetical get us out of dating before we jump back into dating and this one.

I thought that we could all come up with some.

Pretty good an So you know, we're gonna start with sit on this one and then we'll go around. I do want to answer from all of us, So if you could add one history fact into the books that would be taught in schools and perceived to be true.

What would it be? Can it be messy? Or of course it could be messy. This is the thing that be okay, No, no, it's true.

No, it could It can also not be treated okay, but this is true because a recent photo Rosa Parks had yams yoh do that?

Why not? Why we not? She did? I just saw it. But why would we teach our kids that Rosa Parks how to don't?

Wait?

Let me look.

Yeah, when she was getting off the bus, there was.

A picture of her doing yoga. Wait, they did yoga.

A there's a picture of Rosa Parks doing yoga somebody.

And this is someone to get it together? You feed real gen Z right now. I am out. Twitter is your resource. You know what are you crying? Well? When I saw the phone, I was like, she's sitting down. She should send me this one that AI looks like art? Am I wrong? I don't know the old black lady. You have to stay off of the internet. Rose that light would that.

Rosa was a little bit light? What is it always like? He was like freedom fighter bro, I know.

Is coming to the dark skin girl they didn't care about.

But it's like calm embarrassing because literally every time somebody checks me like it's always makes it just acting like this, you don't want to drag They're gonna drag me for this.

Somebody say something positive, somebody to keep going. I'm going to add to it.

So what I would teach, what, well, what I would put in the books is that actually black people were the kings and queens and we ruled the world. White supremacy is actually rooted and hate literal. They were and so that's why white people was like, oh now we got to get them out.

Like it was us.

Man.

I would want to teach.

I would want to teach that white people were so insecure that they just hated that they didn't rule shit, so they took everything from us, which technically I think is the truth.

Isn't that taught in the school of Hotep that I think that's our being taught.

Oh that is that at the school. There's the course of Mindfulness. I think it's the thing ty on Me told us about. Have you all heard about this? It's a book. No, it's the Course of Miracles.

Miracles okay, And she was talking about how her and her ex husband.

Literally she was like, girl, he.

Was trying to spiritually gas like me from.

This fucking HOTEP book and a lot of the HOTEP teachings knock on front.

I love a doctor Umar, but I also love.

The gays, and it's like they conflict each other consistently, back and forth and back and forth. And I think the biggest issue with hotep shit that I'm African Americans that don't fuck what it is is they hate white people a little too much. I have the instead of like I don't care about making white people feel seen, like it's just not.

A priority for me.

I may see a homeless person that is white and I literally won't cross the street because I'll be like, oh, someone's going to help you one hundred times today, you.

Know what I'm saying.

So it's like I think where black people living in America that are just kind of like, no, Hoteps just want you to hate white people.

No, it's just more radical, But.

Like I don't think it's but I still think that white supremacy is rooted in a lot of hate.

But I want to teach that they were haters.

I also want to say they be ignoring the white homeless people too, unless they have a little dirty dog with them, then they might give them right.

That's why me having the dog.

Because they're like, I'm definitely going to trash out, you know the fact that it's human beings.

We do care more about animals than human lives.

You know why though, because people look at homeless like they just can't stop doing drugs. We only associate homelessness with drug addiction now right, because people just don't just go get a job like that's the first thing they want to say.

I'm living half in all. I'm telling you.

The way people treat homeless in Los Angeles, it's fucking crazy. Also, I don't I'm sorry, there's no home, living on the street, you're homeless.

I don't do that's stupid language. When they write in who's going right they are? Don't do that. They have wi fi.

I don't normal living outside as a home. It's fucked up because I tell you, if they ended up having a kid and family, oh, is it still on housed?

No, you'd want them to have a fucking home. So let's treat adults the same way. I'll give a about you putting no campsite.

Wait, what do you mean having kids? They have kids? Girl?

Yeah, yes, Now, I just think that that's irresponsible.

I just think that's irresponsible.

I mean it is because if you are because I don't have a home.

I can't have sex. You sho you have anything? You shouldn't be getting nutted in like.

You you they're outside? Pull out if you live out, pull out? Yeah, like there has to be we got it. Like you gotta be responsible in some form of your life.

You're gonna make another one.

No, I'm not gonna lie already if you already magic, I'm gonna shout out to all the parents and I do you.

Realize that a lot of women that are homeless are sex workers?

What do you think is going on? Oh? Really? Okay? Wow? The more you know it's happening here and decisions. Seriously though, that.

Sounds like a horrible decision to me, know the h not a fun one with the.

W okay really? What? What?

What?

Yeah?

I was just gonna also shout out parents because the more that I continue to live and thrive as a single person, I don't know where y'all get the money to raise kids.

This kids are so expensive and the.

More like I just bought furniture where I don't want anyone to sit on it, and so I had to call my mom and I say, Mom, I'm so sorry. Now understand why you didn't want us to jump on your couch and do all the things that.

We didn't know.

That's crazy that you had a moment with a couch when I was on vacation a few months ago.

It's one for us to do this boat right. And I remember thinking about myself. Kids is eighty nine, A kid is eight and nine. That's not you are telling you if we if we would have a fucking baby, we would have to bring this fucking kid eight and nine.

But eat it.

Yeah, just not now breathing. What would be your fact that you add into the history books to be taught cheating is not new since the beginning of time. They all of the all of the stuff that we're complaining about now, people been doing that since the beginning of time. I'm sure there was a cave woman washing her man's favorite rock and he was at some other woman's cave just throwing Fred Flintstone dig all over the place.

You think Adam was cheating on eve, That's not what man was. There another was there another person. I'm just throwing it out. Sorry, that's Jesus stuff. But weren't they first? I mean, let's just say they were.

Listen the way they in history, we just like to uh make turn men into gods. Like, let's be very clear, Martin Luther King was cheating, Like, hell on Correca, you're not bro.

It's about to be Black History Month. We don't do this right now, light skin, mouse up, shutouts.

That's talk of the Marx so Mark talking about So Martin wasn't cheating.

Is that what you're saying?

No, no, no, I'm saying, we're not talking about this this Closebuary.

You don't know who brought it up? No, no, no.

I talked about cave man and you said niggas. Now that sounds let's unpack that.

That is mess man, you know, now that's white man. Hey demonized. We think c I A.

I hate getting c a alabaster mother. That's what it's giving lab is get another from the cocky smell?

Could I be fair like that is?

Sometimes I might have an opinion and I'd be like, I'm too ambiguous for this. I'm not Somebody needs to check y'all somebody needs to check y'all.

I thought, so you're saying that you can't talk about how are activists.

And our leaders and all those like the way you said it might be the braceist, but I don't like the way you said it. It didn't come out right when you said, we don't want to hear you say niggas, like when they said they not like us. They're talking about y'all. You're not talking about me. No, no, no, no, no, no no no. I feel about you because you have brothers are on today.

This is why we have to which I was in sake Cory.

This is a tan, it's a this is so un serious. I can't. I can't.

I'll be seeing y'all clips and y'all really just be having really great discussions adult type, keep going.

It's very loose. This is our dudes for black history. Absolutely.

You know Martin Luther King was a cheater. Now, what was the purpose of that? Tell us why you bought that? Walk us through the thoughts.

But no, no, no, she brought it up because you were like the rain. He was an act activist. He was doing stuff for his people, but he was.

Also also chipping out and you run it every week and been around.

He was dropping off dick at for the church, ladies.

To the church.

Okay, right now you're turning this and to pass the jamal Brian and talking.

About what you don't know what's next on the dock. Okay.

Actually, now this is gonna be great because we could talk about uh dating in the realm.

Of how to be a perfect side chick.

Now, this is a video that came out and I do want us to respond, but also for any of our listeners who have chosen the lane that I used to the hill I used to die on. I wanted to talk about if you agree with these this being the perfect way to be a side check.

So here we go.

And but he's married. There's a line and invisible line. We don't now cross the line and expect a relationship. You can never outshine the main read the fantasy, not the reality. Come on Monday, you don't call plus a PM. Don't do that. That's for the white think of it like this. You not like a genie. You rub the lamp and then VI Jimmy appears. You don't come out onto your summons, You can't go to Yes as women, we're gonna feel a type of way.

You're with him, it feels good.

He turns around, he's with his wife. If you feel sad, go and read a book.

Valentine's Day.

You think that you're supposed to do something, your day is the fifteenth way come.

If you don't like the way it makes you feel, leave the situation. Don't get a mind, Dan, Why do you want someone else's mind? Don't forgive us.

Why do you want somebody else's man? Why do you want someone else's man? That's a good question, So I'm not gonna lie. In my twenties, it was less responsibility for me and how I showed up in the relationship, and it was just easier to be number two because I don't know, I felt like there wasn't the pressure for me to show up and be perfect. I think that when you date, or you strive to be the

And then I also, do you think in.

Your twenties that you needed to have money or a certain like standing for relationship?

Yeah, I felt like, I mean, and I think that comes from again therapy, childhood, upbringing, like my grandmother and what happened like there were women in my family who couldn't leave really bad and abusive relationships because the man provided for everything. So for me, I always felt like I wanted to come in and give something, which is why I went back to college. I was like, no man's gonna take me see as a bartender or working in the clubs.

And you worked in the clubs.

For a long time too, and I was just like, let me go back to school, let me be what a wife should be.

And then what you're telling me I should have did I should have?

No? No? No, no no, and then maybe I wouldn't be gay. Yeah, Lesbie, can you read? Yeah, you're ignorant ass? Oh okay, got it? Got it?

Dragon Like, So I mean everything that she said, though I do.

I do believe like there's if you sign up to be a side chick, you can't sit here and believe your in competition are going to steal the main chick from this guy.

But I think some side chicks do think that.

I think because they're delusional. I think side chicks are delusions, even if.

They don't think they could steal them.

I think side chicks think, oh he likes me more, I'm preferred, or he's stuck with her.

Well he'd be saying that too, he's about to leave her any day now.

Yeah, he's pillow talking complaining about the person, the main chick to the side chick, and then the side chicks like, well, I'm about to move in there, and I'm about to slide in. And so I think all of it is just like delusional and toxic. You could get wrapped up it, and it's a push and pull of thinking that you're going to get something that somebody else has, because there's some people who just want what other people have, not just men, but just think somebody else's life.

Well, certain things don't look appealing or attractive to you until you see somebody else with it and then you be like But also, when you're the side chick, right, you're not dealing with the messiness of who this guy is on a daily because you don't live with.

Him literally, are part of the part part times.

You know, when I say mess i'm talking about like all the things that kind of might make you start disliking your partner in a relationship, right, and not even disliking, But you're not dealing with the reality of what bills are being paid and how you're paying them. You're not dealing with this person's family. You're not dealing with this person on a day to day because as a side chick, you're part time and you're normally getting the best version of this guy.

I know.

The delusion that I used to have is, oh, well, he's honest with me. I know everything that's going on, so he has to like me more. No, I think there is a blurred line to the fact that people lie to the ones they actually love.

Honest being told he's still a liar to somebody. No, he's a liar to somebody, absolutely.

But I think the thing.

That was tough for me with like someone wanting me to be a side chick, because it normally came from like men I used to date and he would come back around. I'm really emotional, but I felt a lot of emptiness, like if I know that you have to walk outside or do something like that, like I hate it. But the only time the side chick was like, oh I like this was when they were giving me money. Oh yeah, that Noel was like in exchange of my time, I'm not gonna lie for I.

Don't know about that. Eight years later.

I do think that if you were going to be a side chick, you should be getting compensated financially. I don't think there's any other reason to be a side chick, because as a woman, you will start becoming emotionally involved with.

But also, let's talk here, like what is side chick right? Because you can get some dick dropped off and then be on your way. I think a side chick is like you actually are.

Saying you're in a relationship with this man I've never Yeah, no, I would. I need the situations more than any Yeah, I need the definition. There's time, Yes, Alexa, what's the side chip?

Yeah, unfortunately, you know I've dibble, dabbled in the medium of sidness. Oh that's Alexa, that's Marie.

Also, she just talked about delivering ingredients to a bowl.

What's the side chips?

But that's what you should call him now, side side chip, side chip, side fries, a little appetite.

But everybody's Alexia activated when I screamed that a little.

Side Yeah, I I didn't.

I don't think I was actually thinking that I was going to be with these people because I did it more than once, because you got to do it three times to figure out if.

You really want to do it.

You gotta be a side three three times to figure out if I see, if you're really about this life.

Eating pussy too. I remember meeting a girl. She was like, oh, I like me or woman, but I don't like eating pussy. I was like, have you tried it just once? I was like, it was hers.

You gotta do it two more times. I'll do it two more times. Yeah, So you got to do everything three times, so you know, you're almost there. You've done it like twice.

Oh yeah, my nigga literally said to me, we've been together almost two years, a year and a half.

You and this squeezy YouTube grown like you have been telling me you have not gotten ahead. And then she'd be trying to say she can't listen to her.

You have to get it in in your twenties. You have to do anal in your twenties. You cannot do it in your thirties.

Doing anal in nursing home. No, I feel like I jumped the skip like a level because I disagree pee play.

So I'm like, how do I get here? When I what's pete play?

She'd be asking a man to piss all over, not all over neck down podcast.

I am a good Christian? What's going on here? Marie? A good Christian? Gay is crazy? Wait a second, so a lesbian? How do you have anal? Sex? Girl? What I do? You want to know? What is going in there? What you mean what's going in there? Fingers? Toys, okay, things of that sort. Okay, can you get like the penetration you can handle?

Like you can get Oh I haven't, like I said, you see, I got my good you know church dress on stockings.

I don't need get I don't get down like that, no more.

But but if we could put more than the stockings tell you otherwise in a little fern.

God, you unzipp You didn't have to unzip that, love. Yeah, it's so I could see a Filippian tubes.

It was hot in here. That's that's what it is. It's not very circulated. I thought you was elevated.

Where's ac It's nothing but heat coming on hot coming out to them tights. Yeah, I can't. They can't go like a full in and out.

But no, he was basically trying to tell me because of the time we've been together, it's time.

I'm like, didn't we try it? He was like, yeah, last December. I'm like, so now I'm on my years up. We gotta go back into the world though.

You gotta reup on the warranty, you know.

So we got poppers. Oh doesn't help for me, It doesn't help for you. I have a very tight and this is not me trying to flex. I wish I could flex.

It's not a flex. No.

I think the sphincter muscles too tight because when I watch it, you gotta stretch it.

O are you okay?

I got a little but oh you're not here forty thing. Listen, I got a tiny butt. I've tried twice, so I guess you have one more time to try.

Yeah, I do it on the same day. But I really do start a group chat.

I really do think if you do it in your twenties, it's easier in your thirties. But when once you get us like over thirty, it's something about the body. It's like it's not giving the way you used to anal experts.

I think I am. Yeah, I tried a nineteen, so I was that ninety.

They definitely won't blame it.

Is that while you're back in Atlanta. No, no, no, well.

Well because the guys I'm dating right now are not in Atlanta, and I wish well, no, I'm lying.

One of them is, but he just moved there. So how you guys are you dating? So three and I like all three of them. She gotta try them all three three times. I'm not I'm not going that route. But wait, what does that mean? Like I'm not gonna try all three?

Like you're not gonna suck all them?

Probably not, But you got one out of three.

Yeah, so I fucked one out of the three. But the one that I really like.

I'm supposed to be fucking soon. And if I like girls on the Google and young, well who better fuck?

No?

No, no, no, no, I'm I'm I'm trying to talk.

I would love to date all three of them. I would love to be with them. But you don't want to bang all three. No, if I'm.

Able to be in a relationship with all three, you just look like for some reason, because there's a couch and there's a chair on the side, I feel like she was on a data show.

I would love to date all three of them. I I can only choose many. Real question, how do you have the time when you're very busy?

Two of them don't live in my city? Okay, so when do you see that? So you have to that's the thing.

We have to We have to plan. Okay, we have to plan. You're so busy. You're busy, Like I know, I'm not as busy as y'all.

And I still feel like I couldn't imagine doing three.

So I'm not gonnaly.

I don't I don't want someone always with me. I don't like to give people space their time.

That sounds great. I have they're they're all three busy woman that don't want to care. I don't like someone was with me. I don't want it.

I I get that. I don't want to see you every day. I don't need to speak to you.

I don't need to speak to you every day. Well, one of the scientists, one of the doctor and want of science is scientists. Yehut up at Bill Not? He's white. I don't really rich. No, Bill Night as white rich.

No, I don't know TV. When I was two, Bill Not, I probably bought Microsoft stock. You know when Bill nye worth, it's gonna say two thousand dollars.

Eight million dollars. Yeah, get him on decisions, decisions.

I don't you know. I wouldn't Bill Night for the plot. You would suck Bill Night just for the plot. Just are y'all in therapy for real? Because it's not sounds walk me through this is it?

Because he's a scientist, you think he knows how to scientifically put it?

Put it in your butt?

I think like, for one fucking someone you've known for your whole life, right, someone you have an affinity, he hasn't known you though.

You know, but me like about this person, Yeah, like I'm telling like a fan.

I was like it sounds like yeah, I feel like just for the story of it, like we like him as a groupie.

Plus, there's no way the sex with Bill Night would be good. Bill Night is not having sex. He's reading his kindle out loud to you.

I don't know why that shape the oldest nigga. He's wearing glasses at the tipical.

Beaker. Ah, not a beaker. You headed this out of the podcast?

No, why that you want to give Bill Nye simplicity?

Because you know what sucks.

I have to stand on this now for years and then when y'all come back in the second we go on mess, y'all gonna be like this bitch want to fuck Bill not?

Yeah. On Patreon.

Uh, there's a topic that we're talking about about, Uh, how Dick gives you cloud or something? Because you know, all the girls like to see here and post who they who was in the d MS and all that ship. I do want to ask, is there anyone that y'all would just because of who they are you've known them forever, you might not they not They might not even be your type. You're just like, if he wanted, I would I would consider it he or she based on who they are. Kamala, not you just girl.

You are unserious. You got this blazer on. I can't with you?

Can I swear?

He said, switch, I need to get on the I her. Do you not get the concept?

Is there is there anyone if we started with plethink every yeah.

You know what? Can I can?

I be honest and now that not saying that these celebrities of people are more accessible, the more that they talk, the more that they put stuff out there. It makes me be like, I'm not as attracted like I like them. I'm an affinity for the but I'm not. I don't have like a sexual connection.

Okay for the men. The last time you speak for the rest of the episode.

Adam Sandler, Oh, you know, smell like chips and beer when you take his clothes.

I love him now.

He got his little beard and Jim not now the.

Girl.

He looked like he don't even wash his feet at all. He's he smells like three day old axe.

Ray, So, is there anyone that you would that's not necessarily attractive?

But you're like, oh, they're iconic or something. Like, you can't pick someone hot. That's why I said Martin.

Hands, although Malcolm could Malcolm Malcolm Rock didn't land on.

You can't be will be hot.

Yeah, you know he would read poetry.

His gunman. Yeah, okay, I.

Not sex, but I would like to, you know, hang out just being her, have her air queen Latifa girls.

She's married. I don't want to be I said, dead people, street dead people. Okay, now we're just naving white people.

Okay, so little let's get into dating being a mess. So normally during the segment we get into the history of sex. But I wanted to get into the history of our messy dat lives. And I did want to start with you, Reezi, because I want to say skeptic.

Oh yes, actually, Marie, that's I see that for you. But the tattoo, bro, That's why I didn't say yea, I know he would have the whole time.

Lenny would have on a big ass scarf that he would lay down and that's what we would bang. I would love to bang on his big scarf. I would love it.

It might be a little achieve a girl. Wait, what was the question.

No, we're getting into the mess of our dating history, and for reasony I do want to talk to you because on your pod you've had quite a few dates recently. But also, this is my favorite part. You said last year in twenty twenty four. In one year, you ran into every single X you have, every X I dated in the last five years, bumped into them.

Last she bumped into them all in one every reason thing go one well in the last five years. So it was.

And then the first boyfriend I ever had, I bumped into him at Union Square. And when I saw him, I just started laughing because I was like, this is the universe.

He's getting too small.

That's like the universe trying to say when they show you everyone you've slept with them.

I think the universe is taking me through a like ghosts of Penis past, right, Like everybody that I used to be stressed about or or obsessed with or whatever. I saw them and it was like, oh, this issue this is I did spend a couple of the blocks, a.

Couple of the time.

Out of the ones that you saw, five out of ten, I don't know it was, you know what I'm saying, fifty percent of them were they better looking worse?

In one week got bumped into three. So the first one looked good and I looked layout and every day people. No girl, I was walking.

By, Seriously, how are you running all the movies in one week? I bumped into three? That's crazy. The first one looked good and I looked bad, so I had to.

Hide ship because I was like, oh. And then the second one looked bad and I looked good, so I was like, I thought that.

Was hi, you left big.

Oh my god, you look your thyroid like the thyroid lord.

And then the last one looked good.

He looked fantastic, Like I thought it looked like he had found Christ or something.

I don't know. He looked very good. I mean Sidney's on he looked fantastic.

Can I ask you if someone went through a book and got to see all of your exes, what would it say about you? Like would they be able to point out one same trend with your exes? Or like what do you think it would say about you? I mean, I think, with the exception of like a cubble, of everybody that I've dated has been very nice, Like I think nice people.

I don't.

I don't necessarily date assholes. I dated like maybe like three liars.

Only three? Yeah, three, your whole three the last year. Maybe they were great lives.

Yeah maybe, okay, maybe I dated five liars.

We go round up? Yeah yeah, yeah yeah.

You're like God's chosen one of God's favorites. I'm like, top top fifty in the world.

What's your sign? I'm a libra. Maybe you know how to choose them.

I don't know if you have a discernment, like I don't feel like we all get that lucky bitch.

I don't know.

I feel like the end of last year, I just was like, this is this is this this, this, this is this this, you.

Know, because what is what is dating now for you?

Like, like, has there is there a trend now with what you see how men are dating in comparison to your past or not.

I don't know.

I didn't care about dating in my twenties. I wasn't thinking about it at all. I would go out and just be like, ill, stop talking to us, or like I want to strawberry zakery, like and so does my friend, like drinking stuff like that and ignoring them, and and then you know, after you turned after after you leave twenty nine behind, now you're kind of on a swivel, and I don't like being out in that way. I just want to be out with my friends feeling hot, being sexy, and smelling good.

It's okay.

The attention doesn't go to going out to meet people anymore. It just is to go out and have a good time.

Because the pressure of meeting someone outside I think comes from the fact that we're all meeting them online.

So it's like, damn, I'm going outside. It must be time like it.

Just want to meet people out like online is canceled.

That's where all the liars are online outside What the fuck is you talking about? Day out?

You know that I saw someone I used to date in the layout and he must have had one of the moments he was like, oh my god, how you being Are you working out? No, nigga, I'm just making more money.

Like I'm telling you, when someone is from the past and they see you, I can already tell how your dating life is going from how you pressed on me.

You know, it might not even be how their dating life is going. It's it's just how you look true and how you move in right. Like maybe old you was a little bit more pressed, a little bit more thirsty, and now you're making money and you you know, you're at a different place in your life, and people see that and they're like drawn to.

The thirstiness is real, though I will say that I think that if you think.

That he doesn't have a fence still looking at your stuff, he is, so he's already seen the progression and might not.

But I do think the thirstiness in the twenties for me, you don't, you know, if you're looking to date someone, I think you don't have a lot of kuth, Like you're kind of just being like, yeah, my intentions that, and it's just sometimes you can lead with that in a different way. And I think I didn't know how to communicate that properly, Like I was going on dates when niggas that were fucking drug dealers, thinking they'd wipe me up or they'd be a great partner.

Like you're just not really choosing right. And I think the thirstiness definitely came from loneliness. Once you're a little bit older, you start building.

Community and happiness in other ways, whereas when you're younger, you're like, oh, I have to get married, get a good job, do this, So I got to find a partner that's next and that's the worst part of day, going out like you are right now, just to have a good time, Like I really believe that's what brings the happiness.

What is the difference between dating men and women? See women, they're women harder to date. Do you feel or I think everybody is crazy. It doesn't matter what gender or sexuality you are. But I do think that women are more direct. They know what they want and they're not afraid to say their feelings. And most women are like yeah, that's like I'm not.

Turned off by a woman being honest because it's like, okay, good, I don't have to like play these games or oh I can't text you back, I gotta wait and da da da da, So that it is like relaxing to feel like, oh, I know that person likes me. I don't have to de cipher or look at hilogryphics to see if they are really didn't.

Say high low graphics hieroglyphics. Oh that is man? Wait, do you embarrassed for yourself?

You let the people in the cop was like, Mandy, you know I don't high looglyphics, Yo, Mandy, just like a white woman, you're like her. Ye, never put that in the history books. Bitch, it's always gonna be a big woman trying to correct a black, strong gay woman on camera with that.

Put that in the books. I shared, It's all I've said enough for.

You.

Let me tell you.

Let me tell you how Cindy trying to play reezy because again trying to play reason. You try to act like she'd be late, and I was like, Ree's never late for me.

Hey, you know you're like black, that's what you're with a capitol king. Do you know that you are crying? You are waiting at all? Had enough to wait?

I had to stick up for a police like a sister, Mandy, who are you turning into?

Over there.

Is?

It is a color purple keeping until you do right by me, don't. I do want to I do want to end the show by not the song. Oh no, we know you want to end it out. No, no, no, no, I am having a good time. I mean no random. I do want us to.

Talk about what we have intentionally changed in the way we pursue partners and dating and sex in our thirties compared to our twenties. Like, I know that you said clearly you're not out looking exactly. But is there anything intentionally that you're doing different.

I'm trying to work on me. I just I just want to be good for me. I don't care about the people per se anymore. I just want to show up for me. I want to be good to me. I want to do things in a way that it's not chaotic. Our podcast is messed, but I don't want to be a mess anymore.

So I want an hour I don't I don't want to be a mess anymore.

I don't know. I starting today, started starting today, starting right fucking now because of you, man, d okay, wait till I come back.

I'm gonna have high rogue glyphics.

I'm gonna say hi, Hi, drogue Griffin. To be honest, high glow Olympics is a great makeup line, man.

Hydroglyphics, Hi glows. Nobody wants you to blow high glow. Listen, what about you in twenty twenty five, what you're doing different? You're gonna get a boot this year?

Maybe I think twenty five is gonna be good. I did see a psychic last year for the first time in my life. Oh and she says she sees loving my future.

And the window, or did you get like a good one?

I went up, I went up the stairs. I had to ring a bell, actually know, I had to hit the little you know this thing, you know, a little door, you know, because that's how you summon a wizard.

You got. But you say that's where they live, most of them live.

There was it was it, but you believe in has anything else. I'm never going to see a psychic. Before my friend was like, why would you go see a white psychic? That's why I would ancest to talk to a white psychic. The only white psychics I think are real? Are you telling gypsy? Kind of like you're not supposed to say that? That's how Yeah, you can't call somatic.

You're not allowed to say gypsy.

Well, first of all, she said, I am saying homeless and gypsy.

No, no, no, you can't call someone a gypsy. But gypsy is a word.

Yes, there are people, and so is nigger. Just because it's a word doesn't mean you can't g word.

It is not. No they say that word like, we can't even say no more you just how wait, can y'all ai me out of this part? Can I just say? Wait?

You know I'm being serious about gypsy. It's a culture. You can't call someone a gypsy by looking at him or about talking like you can say the world. I think you need to go back into the history books. Gypsy water my pay favorite part. You might to start bleaking myself.

Aren't they hipsty hips we have?

It's probably gonna have the most engagement because people are gonna be dragging.

No, no question of the stupid question. Okay, now come on, we have to do something Asian to make it right. No, no, no, not no to talk about you okayre Asian?

No?

Oh Latino? Are you a gypsy? Are you a madge? No? Are you a house? Are you? I love a good offensive episode. It's not even really offensive. Gypsy. Don't listen to this podcast I heard.

It's gonna be like we put both the ladies, both podcasts on the network together.

Yeah. What was the question?

Like, how you're being intentional with dating this year? Oh, I'm stepping outside of my house. You can't meet nobody sitting in I mean Uber eats.

No, I don't do Uber eats.

I I go pick up my takeout, not if I'm not gonna cook. I'm traveling the world. I feel like I meet my person in the Delta lounge or you know, some random place.

Like that Delta one at this point, lounges for the streets.

Now, everybody up in the well, let's let's make a quick disclaimer. The lamp sucks. Stop trying to go to the lounge. Don't go, just be by together.

Canceled. Yeah, bro, I hate the lines in there. Yes, y'all shouldn't go. It's canceled.

They need to put congestion prices for the for the bro.

They know.

They tried to. That's why they did the sky miles. They tried to get your motherfuckers out of there.

Yeah, there's limits.

No, no, no, Well, let's playing TikTok because TikTok is white.

Bitch. They served me steak and sushi. Bitch. Oh yeah, they get massages and facials in it. Get it one? Do you have a plus one? Can you get a because I'm going over there now. You don't want to ward of a little stocking. Tell me where to find you? Wait? Are we done?

From?

Where? Can our listeners check you out? Come?

Find us also on iHeart mess That's where you can find us. Our podcast is called that you can find Me on Instagram it's reezy our e e z y And I just want to tell y'all what's also amazing about mess is that you have to Luckily it just started to start from the beginning because you get to listen to Sydney trying to find an apartment, and then you listen to a man who bought her oxtails, who she thought was going to be her man and isn't feel like it's not by seemed like he bought her oxtail,

I'll try to get a little one.

He got me a large Wow, but being a man now worth being a side check for.

Side see, I'm not doing it? Said where can they catch you and follow you?

And all the things also on mess okay on the on instagram's ooh mess, and my Instagram is just said, b w how many o's two with an H.

I feel like I'm trying to get to three. We should have like we're gonna tag it.

I talk for y'all every day through the Instagram because we just be sitting memes.

And ship and pedicure.

I told them, oh no, and and you know what, real quick p s A before we get out of here. Stop turning everything into a martinis. We want no more seafood boiled martini except.

For more collar green martini.

Three martinis. Stop it with the martinis. Were fed up.

You know who you are. It's you know who you are. You know that must be where you live. You know who you are.

You know. If you want to hear more horrible decisions, that's right, Horrible Decisions hasn't gone anywhere. Make sure you catch Horrible Decisions over on the Patreon that's patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions.

Other than that, make sure you tune in Wednesdays.

You got decisions right here wherever you listen to your favorite podcast or if you want to watch the video, that's over on Patreon as well, and make sure you subscribe to our YouTube channel, Decisions Decisions y'all. We out will see y'all again and

See you Gotta go to the airport by sex by