EP 405: Walking Out On Dates (Ft. Ace Metaphor)

Welcome to decisions decisions.

I don't think you should say decisions decisions. It sounded like you was talking to Kursten. You definitely say to welcome, welcome to the new podcast. You want to say together the decisions decisions.

All right, guys, we are joined now by b Ace metaphor.

You put a lot on that.

Well, I can't put the th I was like that, I can't put the b A. But I just you want me to say that. Actually before, but before Ace Uh came in, he actually what's your nickname?

Actually? Now, didn't you say you're going by someone else?

And where the camera at?

Why?

He's rebranded young fly nigga. H I'm about to get the whole combo.

I'm about to horrible.

I don't do this ghetto no, no, no, no no, we are hold on No, I still do the ghetto ship. I'm just rebranded in the way that I'm no longer sucking dick.

Okay, that's a lie. That is a lie. That is a lie. I'm gonna hope it's a lot.

Bitch.

We still got horrible decision on patrioch. We do, we do? We do? We do?

Okay, so wait, you're rebranding, branding. So what I'm gonna do is I'm about to get the you know, the sponge curls.

We're not doing that doing a sponge.

Curls doing I'm doing the sleeve about the whole thing, like and then the chain, the heavy ass chain with the WiFi and ACE on it.

So I'm not playing with you.

I'm just trying to be outside. I'm thirty five.

But so, but you just got out of a long term relationship. Yeah, so long we used together about seven years. What you do? Welcome to the fucking dating point. Now what you do?

We're gonna talk about this because I'm trying to Yeah, I'm trying to figure this out. You know a lot of men feel that way, like after relationships, it'd be like, what the fuck did I do?

Now?

I feel like that's because maybe I wasn't as emotionally present in the relationship. And I had posted something on my status the other day and I was talking about how when I used to work at the hospital. I worked at a hospital as a nurse for ten years, and every every day when I would go into that job, I would sit at the nursing station and I would dream about a life that I want to live the

I'm like, I'm here, I'm here. I know me too. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm gonna tell y'all.

I have to have to interject because I really need self awareness. The election, I made plans with my homegrow Brianda. She's like, we got to watch it together. I got in a disagreement with my partner the day before, and when I knew he wanted to talk to me and finally hash it out, I was like, Okay, girl, let me go over there and we'll figure it out later.

There and there. Some people think the election wasn't a big deal. Some people got really upset.

Whatever how you feel, right, I'm assuming if you listening to this show, you're in't like the results. My damn, that girl was really sitting there and I couldn't be president enough to realize I can table this other shit for later. That to me is a product of not boyfriend shit, but being so busy with all these other things in my mind.

Because so you only got so much bandwidth, I mean, yes, the no.

So then would you then say, because we both run multiple businesses, all of us too, right, And I know that that's been and you guys have heard me. That's kind of been my mindset right now with the idea of me going into polyamory because I feel like, Okay, I don't think I am physically.

Going to be as available as I need to be.

We're even touring this year, right, I have these multiple things that I want to do. So if I'm not as physically available, and because of all this work, my mental isn't always the best all the time, so I'm not able to show up emotionally like I need to. Maybe polyamory makes sense to me because then I know he can receive the love that maybe I don't have for him in the moment, and I don't have to feel guilty for not being able to show up in

Yes and no, right Like, yes and no.

It's it's being able to have that balance you feel me, and that balance is important. And sometimes when you're not prioritizing your partner as much as you are prioritizing your purpose. And I know when you I'm sorry, I don't and and what I mean is what I mean is at the point where you're like, all right, I want to dedicate my life to a person that has to be equally as important as your purpose. Matter of fact, it

And those are things.

That take equal amount of of a prioritization in your life. And it's should And the thing is going back to people that are busy. So what happens is when you are running your own business, your brain don't shut off.

So even though I may not be busy in body, I'm busy in mind.

So now in these relationships, in this relationship, and I'm just saying so, like I can be here on the couch, we're physically spending time together, but mentally I'm thinking about this and this and this.

You reminding me of this conversation we had about good dads versus bad dads, and we were talking about Nick Cannon and how could he be a good dad or I was saying, because he's all over the place right and my homegirl was like, girl, I'm married and his nigga.

Barely show up for his kids. Yes, like you know what.

I mean, he's not present, So I don't know. I agree with what you said about you need to make the priority for your partner and your job, like completely agree.

I absolutely so.

I think you shouldn't even consider partnership if you know you can't dive in.

That's why I just don't think I'm for living for another human being, which is kind of like even it's crazy because all the roles that you said are inevitable.

As a woman, I don't want to be a mother or a wife.

So right now I'm also navigating then how can I show up to a place where my partner understands that I want them, I love them, and feels it involved into a relationship to where we can be partners for each other without the end goal being that motherhood or wife thing.

And mind you, this goes to and I'll be honest too.

This is a really touchy subject for me right now because yet another one of my friends I've just been told diagnosed with breast cancer. So literally, in the last two or three months, three people breast cancer. So they're going through chemo. My other friend is going through IVF. She just finished her first round. She's going through menopause at thirty three. So I'm all, no kids, So I'm

Has to have surrogacy. Do you know how rich you she done?

Already paid about fourteen thousand dollars for IVF and freezing of the eggs. So now, okay, I'm thirty five years old. I need to meet a man who was fine with paying thirty thousand dollars for us to just even have someone carry a baby if they want it. So now we're having these conversations. I'm thirty three, they're all between thirty three and thirty eight.

Fuck well, who do I even date now?

But let me say this, we all walking our own individual journeys, right, So I want to first give space to yours, Like I understand your perspective and you're saying, hey, listen, I don't necessarily want to have children, nor do I want to be a wife. And I feel like that that is a equally as meaningful life for you, especially if you plan accordingly and you get people that's on that same wavelengths and people that understand that and that's

For sure.

My way is like I'm gonna tell you this, like I'm not for the streets, Like, yes, for a little bit, I'm not gonna lie chain is given, the chain is giving you for the street.

No, I'm not about that.

Look y'all gotta realize that your jewelry will let it be, no will make you look like you for community or you listen, this is this is a job.

So I read somewhere that people think I've watched means you don't have money, And I'm like, I think AVA watch kind of shows me what type of person are you like?

One of those fit bit people? You're like this track? Shit? Are you like super on the go? I feel like corporate dudes like watching. Can I say this about the money part? Let me tell you this.

I drive a Charger, like a twenty nineteen charger. It's like a it's a good car for date bright. I know it's a nice luk.

I mean give it two thousand and six minutes from Florida. That's a car.

So I got that charger.

I got that charger when I still was making like basically nurse money.

You know my house, You've been in my house before.

He's a millionaire now, y'all, So don't even lame him. No.

Like, what I'm saying is I'm a modest liver. Like I love modesty. Like it's a thing.

Hold your medium. Here's the thing.

If you don't if you don't spend, if you don't spend your money, you'll definitely be broke.

Let me tell you this.

I got my little tax bill. I got my tax to build the other day, I got my tax bill. Holder, hold on, man, let hear me out front me. You won't never be broke. I got my tax bill right. Ship was crazy. Ship was crazy when the when the people call me, they said you might want to sit down. I sit down because I didn't know what they were saying. And then they said what it was, and for a second I was sawty. The reason I was sawty is

Were not gonna do this. No, I do not use that much government.

Don't even matter, I say, don't even matter.

I go voting. Ship this happens. So I've never heard somebody say, use that much government. I never heard that not that much government.

Hold on, you fly, that's aviation, not that hold on, hold on, that's what wind is back. I'm saying, I'm okay with paying taxes because I got to because I.

Don't want to go to jail. Uh huh, the main reason I pay it.

But the amount that they asking me to pay, I don't use that much government.

I'll house is not on fire.

In this election, all I could think every time I filled up a new like value problem, I was like, oh my god, I can't believe I'm paying this much tax.

I can't believe it. Because you know what really makes me sad.

They try to convince us that corporations get these tax cuts so they can hire more people.

But that never happens. Bro.

If I got a tax cut, just another fifty or seventy five for the studio, everybody would get a high race.

You know what's crazy. I'm not going to when it comes even companies millions, I go, I ain't gonna hold you. I ain't gonna I ain't go hold it in that. I aint gonna hold you. When it came to this election.

It was none of the money met Like what they were talking about with money, doesn't that I paid my taxes like monthly into like quarterly estimates, like.

Y'all know I did. I used to do taxes.

I literally was voting for women's rights, and my mama made sure because I'm I'm registered in the state of Florida. She was like, bitch, I need to smoke my weed. So she was trying to make me make sure. She was like, you voted for us, Sammy right, No, I want to do our hypothetical portion of the pie job.

Get there.

Yes, you just stick this pointing before we get this.

Yes.

The reason I brought that up though, that the tax thing is because the reason I sat down and I was like, man, it sucks, but I'm gonna just pay it because I have it, because I don't spend it. And the reason. So now, now let's go back to your original point. There are a lot of people that assume I got to get this out.

I got to get this out. This camera on me, which one is on me?

Look, this is what you'll be saying in the conference.

Hold on, no many, I'm gonna I'm gonna talk about ship go ahead. People will be like, yeah, he'd be making he'd be making hundreds, he'd be making one hundred thousand dollars a lot of women, blah blah blah blah, and paying to the women he's he's making one hundred ship. First of all, I do like that shoulder first, the first of all, millions of dollars.

Okay, the first part.

But the reasonion the reason I'm talking about it is because it's probably the Apple Watch. They'd be like, that's a hundred thousand dollar Nigga Apple Watch. That's probably what they're saying. It's probably the twenty nineteen you need the But but what I'm saying is I saved my money. Now, go ahead, I just want to stick that lady. But the part I want to talk about, shit about is that portion of it. The and then I'm gonna let you get to your hypathetical. People will be like, you know, hey,

I think it's hard, but you do make money from pandering. But I don't think it's bad.

But no, no, no, no, no, no no, because we.

Make money from pandering to people that using the word pandering quotation you don't want to hear about.

Hear me out, hear me out, hear me out, hear me out. You're right, that could be completely true. But what I'm saying is when somebody says that to me, I'd be like, no, I'm just smarter than you. Ooh, I work harder than you. I'm more dedicated than you.

I focused.

I put hundreds of thousands of dollars in my brand. I've never taken a dollar from nobody. Everything I got is because I flipped my own shit. Oh no, fucking body, I've paid fifty sixty seventy what is it, W nine or whatever you send to people, ninety nine whatever you got to send it. At the end of the year, I have a whole department because it's like one hundred people that I got to do that with. You don't do that just from pandering. Even if I was just

There's a better word for this. Yeah, what's the word. It's salesman.

So okay, what I've learned about this era of internet videos like yours, like when you click on your page and I like watching them, right, I like consuming content like yours. Maybe a quick one minute clip I'm watching and it's like really easy to flip through and share and have debates about because I could maybe pick one of your clips and we can talk about it for thirty minutes. That kind of stuff I really do enjoy watching. But you are selling something. You're selling either guidance, hope,

Or who's the one your girl?

Something Jackson Derek Jackson like that he's a parandemic.

Go back to those So like, if you go back to I'm gonna let you get to your.

I want to yeah you know we timed over, yell, okay.

But if you get back to even what you say, like I'll watch like you'll watch a content. Let's say it's it could be me or somebody. It didn't make you go into your pocket and say, huh, let me give you fifty dollars. Right there was There's a other part of that process that people skip. It's in order to make money, you have to have a system. You have to have a funnel, you have to have advertisement,

It don't happen by accident.

And so what I'm saying is if you're gon't call me a panda or a salesman or whatever the case may be, which I don't really, don't call me a broke one. No, no, no. What I'm saying is, don't discount. Don't don't worry that because it's easier for you to accept that the reason I have more than you is because I'm lying to women.

Very accept that I'm just better at it.

People thought our podcast was only popular because of course you'll talk about.

It's puling, right. I feel like bitches get mad at only fans.

Girls.

It's like you just met you a little medbag because you really can't get up there and throw that pussy on there with them app you can't. Like people get really mad at only fans girl Lef've seen Twitter just.

I don't think they get mad.

I think that there's still stigma around just selling sex, which is why we got.

The getigma maad at girls. I believe the word isn't about mad.

They shit on these girls talking about how they're xyz, they look a certain way, they don't do anything, and these only fans girls.

We net the same shit they bases. Do people think the same boducts.

They are making certain content, they're marketing, they have email, subscriber lists, they're doing different types of platform.

Out's the business. It's a it's a business.

You think the average only fans girl can compare to the work ethic of let's just say a be nasty or len of the plug or whatever. No, they don't, that's a fact. And they are mad because they think all they do is put in a pussyup their bitch to pussy curated, the content curated.

So I really do think this is all of the same. They selling sex.

You may be selling a certain thing like it's all the same, but the age of the Internet is one that people can't understand. Take so much work behind the one minute clip. That's the reason we're mad, all right.

Anyway, God, yes, let's let's let's get through. We have a lot to get to Jesus, all right.

So our hypothetical for this episode, now you do have to choose too, and you have to explain yourself. Okay, So if you could have, especially since you're dating now, if you could have two superpowers to excel in the dating world, what would they be? You must pick from one of these three, being invisible, time travel, or morphing.

I really I watched Marvel movies last night to go to bed. While vaking this outline, I was like if I was like, you know, thinking about it, I'm watching all these superhero movies and I'm not like a Marvel person, but I'm like, damn bro, like Nigga's going invisible. Like what if I could get invisible one and get into a conversation.

So I felt like, so, which two would you pick? Just one? You get two, you get.

Two of these three? I know mine, and I know why, being invisible, morphing and times. Okay, Oh, mine would be the time travel and the morphing.

Mine's time traveling invisible.

So time travel because I would want to see if this nigga wasted my time out the gate. So I am going probably to the next week. Do you exist a week from now? If not, I'm gonna go ahead and stop talking to you. Where do we go from here? I would want to time travel because I would want to see how far we get to know if if you're gonna waste my time, then the morphing is done. I want to dig from time to time.

That's not how I want. That's what morph me and I like, ooh, would you want to morph into another bitch? No bitch, I'm gonna bit. I want to morph into whatever I want to morph into actually to go back and fix mistakes. Though, Noah, what would be? What's the and being invisible? I don't like that.

Morphine, morphine, time travel, morphine and time travel. No I'm ana, no nah, I'm gonna do invisible and morphine theah. So I'm again I'm against the time travel thing right because it takes the suspense out of life, if you know, like part of it, the best part. And this is what I found in just general, the best part is the journey, not the destination. Oftentimes, when you get to the destination you fucking disappointed. But the fun you had along the way is what makes to me life worth living.

I ain't gonna old you. I want to know which.

I want to know which one of our listeners are like me, I could be watching a movie and it's so good I posit and google the ending. See, But that's that's what I'm saying.

But that's your control freak. Yeah, I don't think so. I want to know the inding. You want you have to know. I want to know the inding, and I don't care if it control freak.

I don't like it because there's a negative a negative connotation around it and stigma around being a control freak. I want to know the inding because in my way, somebody if I start, if I start a series. I literally episode one, I go straight to Twitter, hashtag it and look and see what everyone has to say about it.

I literally do that. How do you think that has nothing to do it?

Because broth, I value my time? Am I about to waste my time? Is this the moody?

Is this?

In a separate way, You're you're wanting to be a time traveler so you can go back to fix mistakes. It's also some that's all freaky too, maybe, but I don't help the future because because because you want to control the results so bad that you're willing to go back to redo it.

My answer, honestly, I know where you what you cooked with, but mine's really different.

Okay, go ahead again.

The self awareness thing, like I realize I make mistakes that I can't sometimes understand I'm making, so like if I could go back and just fix that, it's really not for the control aspect. It's more the other person, Like I feel empathy, like there's been a lot of mistakes I've made in my friendships, podcast shit, like I wish I could go back and change them.

I can't. But it's really for the other person's feeling, not mine, So.

You can't accept it so you want to control it, you want to control the result, Okay, just like sheep.

But there's a negative connotations that control freaking period.

I don't mind.

I don't mind the how it can make me look. I don't care about the negative. I'm really thinking about it, and I'm like, for me, it's not a selfish thing. It may be me feeling guilt could be selfish.

Why does you want to relieve that guilt? Are that that regret?

Are that those thoughts that you have about wishing you could have a second chance to do it.

I just don't like seeing people in pain, like from something I've done.

So that's why I really want to fix mistakes.

Like yeah, and it for me it could be guilt, but it really like, it's hard for me to watch someone be upset by something that wasn't intentional.

I've done a lot of things and said a lot of things. I wouldn't take that.

Oh, I could pull up my old tweets on my suspended shit every bit that I was talking shit too.

I'm at it.

But there's certain things and I'm like, damn, I really do wish I could take that back. So my brain gets a little crazy sometimes when I'm angry, and I think those are the things I want to.

Do because not to get so deep I'm traveling and to not make it about you just making a person that answered a similar way to me. It's time travel with in that person's head be easier than just fixing it organically.

Sometimes these things can't be fixed.

And that's the part that we have to accept.

Yeah, I get that, you know what I would in business of the future though, Like if you told me, right now, press this button and you'll know the day you die, I wouldn't.

Want I mean, that's completely different. No, I don't think it is. No, I don't want to know. There's certain things I want to know the future of.

There's certain thing accident find out when you try to go six months in advance to try to figure it.

Out, try to figure get together, Like, yeah, you don't see ship.

And you're like, oh, imagine he's like, yo, yeah, I died and I ain't gonna hold you. Didn't. I know, there's a whole lot of fun.

A bitch about to have a pot in Okay, I'm about the mother, But y'all remember that episode the two women on the sixteen men.

Oh baby, I might beat that. I've been watching the video. This girl fucked a hundred.

This girl fucked a hundred niggas in a day, and then she said, I want to fuck the thousand y'all if I'm leaving, and y'all can talk about me when I'm gone, Bitch, I'm.

Doing it all.

Okay, what's your last week? You got seven days from today, which how are you spending your last week?

Hypothetically seven days, I got seven days doing what I do every day.

I wouldn't like I would just probably go work out, walk my dog. You would still work out, order Chipotle I would do.

I would work out for the You would eat Chipotle in your last seven days?

I do so look, so look Chipotle, let me let me explain. Are you sponsored by them?

No? What I mean is.

What I normally do, is what I love to do, like outside of halving the work, like I don't necessarily want to be in New York.

Right now, but like being at the best city in the world.

Cancer so like so like waking up, going to the gym, waking up, you know, uh all right, walking my dog, hitting the bar, drinking some tequila, watching little Pokemon videos or something on.

My you to like ship like that, simple pleasures.

I would just do the same thing because here's the thing, man, I can do whatever the fuck I want right now, and I do whatever the fuck I want. And that's clue fucking steak dinners and flying around the world like even though that's cool, that's not really what I like to do.

So I like to you can vibrate, you know, somewhere else.

I would spend my last week everybody know where I like to travel, probably fly, dump all my savings into my friends with kids, give their kids money for college. The rest of the money fly everybody I love out to fucking Mexico and die on.

The beach every day.

Spend this swimming, being in the sun, having fun, making like final memories with like friends, family, get tequila's in there too.

Maybe a little like.

Respectfully man for me, not your people, but man, fuck them, no ma, and coordinating this and doing that stressful if I guess I seven days to live, bro, I'm just I'm really just enjoying myself.

I'm being at peace with myself. I'm organizing my thoughts.

I'm figuring out how I can in my brain reconcile the last whatever, how many hours that is, and then with that, I'm just gonna do what I love to do.

You don't want if you had a week left, see the reason I said that, And fuck coordinating, like I'll be blowing my money right. I want to surround myself with everybody that I love and loves me back.

That brings me back to my birthday.

But that's that's what I do every day.

Yeah, it also you're gonna want solitude. It also same with me.

Like to me, if I have seven days, it brings me back to why I don't like celebrating birthdays like my last seven days? Do you think I want to be let down at someone not being able to show up, or someone missing their flight, or someone doing some shit that's gonna piss me to fuck off or make me feel a way that I don't want to feel like.

I don't invite anybody.

I've been going out so much alone lately too, because when you constantly want to be around all these people, you're inviting all of their bullshit around you. You're inviting the way that they can't show up on time. That's been my big fucking thing. I don't even want to be around you. If you can't be on time, then just a lot of their stuff like and it just

I got I got two things. The first thing is what type of watch do I need.

To get deep? You know what? No?

No, because because if this is a broken watch.

I I do want to do it. I don't want to.

I do want to do a kiki because I want to talk about what is considered broke in what's broke behavior?

Only because we do have a reactionary clip.

This woman went on a date and this the internet has kind of been split with is she the brokey or is he the brokey? And I want us to not even dig into their pockets. But there's layers to this video. So have you seen this video? Okay, so we'll play the video and listen to what she's saying, and then I also want to add context right after we'll play that shit.

Y'all will not believe what just happened. Like, I literally went on a date with the guy. And let's just say, mind you, he's sitting right next to me.

I'll order what I want. He didn't want to order anything because he ate, so he just ordered Dr Bok. I ordered what I wanted and he hears it clearly because he's right next to me. The fool comps. He started making all these comments, oh you order that, Oh you want eat all that? Mind So I told him.

That my friend flew into town and that after dinner I was gonna go see her because she wanted need to pull up on her or whatever.

He's like, did you order some food for your friends? He think you broke it. He was like, if I wasn't here, would you order all that? Baty? You think I can't afford a meal? I said, honestly, if you wasn't here, I would have still ordered like this. This is how I eat with my friends. This is how eaten them bout myself crazy.

But the kicker is this man said, oh, I'm gonna go. I said, okay, He lays down one hundred dollars walks off. My view, He caught us a black truck to dinner, so I rode with him in an uber he left, He didn't He didn't say anything besides I'm gonna go, and then set the money down and then dipped off. He didn't ask if I need if I needed a ride home the home. He didn't ask what the bill was.

Nothing.

My view, this is a forty forty five year old, forty five year old man growing.

Man now hold on, yeah, so okay me. Their reaction is how old is she?

She does look younger, but that's that.

I think that's the point. The point is, I mean, this is me talking being thirty five. The point is a couple of things. A how your mannerisms, how you approach the situation, how you're verbalizing things matter. Okay, if he is concerned about a budget, you know what I'm saying, he inquires about it, I'm I'm imagining that maybe she's if she's doing all this and.

Baby, I do this by myself. That would be a turnoff.

It's not like the man refused to pay for the meal because he left one hundred dollars, but that I don't like that.

I mean, I don't think. I don't think we discussed budgets, our budgets being.

Hold on, hold on, we got to stop for a second before we talk a budget. He says, she did all that. She's making a TikTok right now. But if he's brought up in the middle of the day, would you order all that?

If I was in here, I'm going to start reacting too.

So so we're on a date. No, No, I agree. So here's the thing. I'm a pitty girl after that, regardless of how we got to that point, I'm saying that man being forty five, she looked like she's twenty two.

I don't even know why.

So I do want to I want to add context, okay, because she she did response videos.

So context. Oh yeah, what's the dates she ordered? They sat at the bar.

Context number one, which is, you know, she clearly says he ordered a drink and said he didn't want any food. So contact says they sat at the bar. The food she ordered, she ordered half a dozen oysters. She ordered I believe it was lamb chops, two sides. The sides I believe was mac and cheese, asparagus, and then crab fried rice.

She also she also had two drinks, A lot of food. That is a lot of food. Did a lot of foods? No?

No, I'm gonna tell you this as a man that has dated all my life.

Wait, do y'all look at what we orderdy is not I want to talk about that.

I know when a woman is ordering food for her kids later, I just know it.

It happens.

They order so much food and then just to go boxes and it's a whole bunch of shit. And I'm not tripping on that. Like me myself, I wouldn't trip on that. But that happens a lot. It happens more than we talk about. Really, Yes, if.

You're for kids for friends too, I mean, I ain't gonna a you when I don't made shout Outlena and Dwayne we used to live together and when she first started dating him, she would literally send me whatever restaurant they was at and she would order food for me.

And he started knowing. He didn't know, but he knew. He ordered an entree sides and an advertiser.

I'm not gonna lie that she did not know you. That's a regular mass befit.

No, I agree.

I'm saying though, when you say, is it outrageous to think that a woman would do something like that, I don't think it's outrageous.

I think it's outrageous for him to bring it up.

And I think it's outrageous for men to continually assume that when I get dressed, to know when I get dressed to go out on a date, that I'm going out for just a drink.

I like dinner dates.

If you want to eat, have just a drink, that's fine. I'm going to have farking soon.

Assume goes both ways, then, because if you're also assuming that it's okay for you to order that amount of stuff because those were.

Not cheap items, that you're probably not.

So I guess my point is there should if there's not a both parties shouldn't assume then okay.

So like if it be he is it cool if or blah blah blah blah.

I'm not asking if it's cool exactly.

So my point is you're working off of assumptions as well.

Ah.

But here's the thing though, It's like, genuinely, I can't understand how we think this is. I understand it's a lot of food, but like, this is a girl with money. Now I'm thirty three years old, I understand she might be twenty two. I am not asking if it's okay, yeah.

Oh, Honestly, if I want to order caviar, well that's I mean caviar, maybe something that I check with first. There aren't to me certain items out of respect, especially because yes, tar.

Is one fifty two fifty on a market.

I'm asking like sixty seventy dollars.

Yeah, and I'm sick that's what she's just half. The other half another eighteen.

Dollars six what they're not.

Out.

Maybe I'll just eat different type of work. Look, if y'all got hold on no whoa, if you don't mean no no, you know, but the oysters, I'll be getting no. I forgot about hold on head And you gotta use this nigga living day in Ohio.

Ain't no water. It's probably the no no no, no no where the middle of marriage. No.

First of all, is this the camera that's on the end us?

I am cultured just because I've been flors oyster bars, high end oyster bars, depending on what oysters you are getting, where they're from, how fresh they are.

Some of those boys, you're not getting the.

New you're you're for eighteen dollars her eyes. I'll just I'm gonna tell you, I know that you're full of ship. If he took her to a place that was.

That expensive, he wouldn't be asking her why she ordered all that ship. And you're telling me if he took her to a place that was high Are you ready?

Are you ready? Way? She want to know why?

I know you full of ship because you just said, if you had seven days to live, you will eat a Chipotle.

You ain't eating no seventy dollars either, nigga. Oh no, you're definitely not eating bro. He's not eating no seventy dollars. Oil, bro, y'all. Probably he probably paid for some dollars.

Y'all about to find out. And y'all come for niggas to take oyster seriously, Oh my god, is gonna be like ten dollars of oyster.

I'm telling you, I'm glad he's curio.

Hold know, I think I have another point for this right like she.

She brought up.

She brought up that she was linking her friend after This is where my mind went with this, right, I think that this man taking her on this date and bringing her straight to the bar and only thinking they're gonna order drinks and hear me out. This is not me speaking from Trauba. Y'all could think it might be, but we know that there is an exchange currently that people presume to happen after a date, especially depending on

That's actually the most justifiablange I think for this whole thing. I think, I really think, if you're taking someone on a date, why is it crazy that I'm eating food because you're not?

Ah, Like, now I got to fucking match your vibration. I'm hungry, You don't hear He's probably seven o'clock.

I almost speak for myself. I'm gonna speak for myself.

I disagree with the brother, you know, saying like that's not how I operate.

Judge silently. No, no, no, I'm not sure.

No, I'm not she's got another fucker in fairness, you know what I'm saying. Ordered, you know what I'm saying, fairness, It don't bother me.

Bought one hundred seven.

Dollars saying that not everybody is in that particular position, and that's why consideration is important.

Okay.

And here's the thing. You gotta also know what man is bringing you out on that date. It's not an assumption. You thirty three, you say you're making money. Cool, Not every man is making that type of money.

But so so the black car was an important point, right. She didn't mention the black car. Why, for example, he ordered a black car. Uber. I know y'all drive in Dayton, but I really believe you believe me in a camera.

So I went on a date with the dude who worked in sanitation earlier last year before my man, and I'm like, we went to dose Cization make some money though they do, but it's not crazy bank.

We went to those cominos. First date, and another day, I think we went to a Soho house for drinks.

But in my break, what would you say was the average order?

I think our bills were coming to like one point fifty, like a normal dinner. That's that's a normal.

But I remember when we got to Soho house, we were having drinks because we wanted to do someone a rude and a part.

Of me was like, damn, I really didn't want to order it. But I didn't.

I really wanted to order this fucking thing, and I thought our bill's going to be three hundred seven dollars now when I'm with my friends whatever, that's how I'm ordering, you know what I'm saying. But I actually did consider if someone's getting up at like five in the morning to go to work and like really working forty hours a week in a blue collar type of job. For me,

Then realistically only because I just had this conversation recently with my homegirl. We know what the majority of Americans are making, right, Like, it's been a conversation. Not everyone's making over one hundred thousand dollars in this dating sphere? Then, how often should we assume, if we're just meeting someone, that they can realistically afford to take us on dates? And I say, I asked this because my homegirl, when she likes to go out, it's food.

Which for dinner, then drinks and hookah.

But the bitch is a hookoh or And I'm like, bro, every time a nigga takes you out, it's three four hundred dollars? Man, how often can a guy realistically afford to take you out? Hey?

And Wolf is shaking his head on this tip.

This is this is why I disagree with the brother. That's why I said I disagree with the brother. I don't mind the way he left the date. If he ain't feeling it, he still put.

The hundred Actually like that child, Yeah, I'm not mad.

With That's what I was defending. Okay, but let's let's call a spade a spade.

You as the person acts someone on a date, whether that's a man or a woman, Because if a woman asks me on a date, I expect for her to pay for that motherfucking day.

Jesus Christ, I'm not gonna like I do I do the reach because if.

I'm no, I'm gonna let you do it like I'm not.

If you, I don't know you list if you act. There's a lot that has changed about me. Maybe I'm still not fake reaching, but let me it ain't change yet, so let me do it.

The point is, the point is I ain't faking ask somebody out on the day.

It has to now be considerate.

You have to the budget, your research on what the menu location. But so what you do is though you can't fake the funk. You can't take a woman to a place that has one hundred dollars menu items if you don't have one hundred dollars menu item budget.

All yeah, So.

If you can't afford that two two for twenty niggas, So I would we go to a place where it's impossible for her to get an entract I get that appetizer and a couple of drinks and it be out your But I want to go.

We've always got a cheesecake factory, and he used to say to me all.

The time, I just fucked up a chicken pikata at the cheese She.

Gotta start getting on it with extra caper. He is just telling me.

Often like, oh my god, I'm so glad we're over the hump, like he used to say to me when I'm dating women, like because he was in his forties and he just looked old, but he was like, you know, I'm just so happy we're over the hump.

But I like to do what I want to do.

But he literally told me all of those places we used to eat at im.

I want to remove us from this video.

And I want to ask, though, for the person listening right now, if we're single and looking to date and we're not dating a millionaire or we're not dating a sugar daddy, we're dating someone within our pay grade, how often then is realistic to count on going on date.

Once every two weeks in a real relationship every two weeks? Yes, okay at a two three hundred dollars budget, in a real relationship, like you're my boyfriend average?

Can I say this?

Yes?

Excuse me my bad feelas I can't relate to this conversation. Why I've always had bde Oh my god, no, no, hit me out, hear me out.

I ain't.

I ain't.

Never felt pressured to act like I ain't had what I didn't have. I ain't never felt pressure to take a woman to a restaurant that I couldn't afford, never felt pressure. No, no, no, no. What I'm saying is I'm to be shaving.

No no, no no. Imagine how the girls in.

New York at what I'm saying. You got to pay my uber It ain't about it ain't about that. If I have to beat something I'm not just to get your attention. I don't want that ship. If I got to overextend myself, no, hear me, I agree with you.

Hear me out.

If my personality, my vibe, and my ore ain't enough for you, then fuck you go find somebody else.

There's some other nigga that's willing to do that.

I'm not so if my If I'm working at the hospital and I'm only making twenty five hours an hour, I'm gonna operate within that because operate outside of that would have cost me my dream. If I'm overstanding myself on these dates, what I have had that extra money to pour into my dreams in this podcast and in

I'm gonna tell you this.

A man remembering a small detail about you, your favorite flower you just mentioned offhand he spent that you don't like I don't calm down over there, and I'm just saying, like I think, get him out of here. I think me and and I'm gonna say this and this is this is just me. I think sometimes men exchange taking a woman to a fancy restaurant as a way to not actually do the work to show that you're actually interesting.

Guess what is not doing the work? Taking a fucking walk. And I am a girl on this podcast.

Going to Central Park we need to take because she'd be saying that we should share in teammate. And I guess what, A man take you on a walk? You don't give a about wrestling you. You better take me on a gallery walk. You better take me on a walk that sceneic. You better have a plan on that walk, and not a goddamn plan. Better you really think you're a grown ass man taking a woman on a fucking walk? Yes, not care about you?

Way way waiting.

I walk every day in his home.

Are you leaning into the fact that because you are in the opposite you believe that a man is not into you if he doesn't try to impress you, because he's saying, I'm not going to try to impress you outside of my.

Budget area, so literally no effort. If you are telling me we should go on a walk, if I live in band.

Style, you're thinking, listen, let me say, let me say this, Let me say this. I'm not gonna compensate for the fact that you don't fuck with me like that. So so so I'm so listen.

No, let me finish. Let me let me finish on the movie right now.

Look, because we don't brother, we don't.

Know, we all know, we all know.

Pick out I'm doing like I'm not gonna get if you like the niggas. Realistically, this is.

Not at all I'm trying to be Okay, I don't even want people to really believe this.

What do you mean right back? Then? This is so ridiculous. First date walk on a first day walk is different. That's what you're talking about, right But you're unders Wait, let me say something. I'm not talking about his walk walk.

He doesn't mean I don't just go outside in that sick Yeah, that's what I'm saying for you you're.

Thinking about it. Let's let's take this out. Let's talk about the wall. Let me hold on, hold on, hold I don't know about like for for for this to be spicy that the man could take me on a walk.

For this to be spicyer, We're gonna pretend it's the first day. Now, hear me, hear me out, hear me out, hear me out. I need everybody, Okay. What I'm saying is God, it is. It is remarkably easier for me to impress you with taking you somewhere fancy. It is remarkably easier for a man like me. It is absolutely harder for a man like me to be intentive enough and thoughtful enough to make a walk day or a park day pop. It will take more of my time

Listen, listen, listen you walk in the park.

Let's take a long walk around the park, thinking about myself, dark at the dark place, conversation.

Dark.

Let me, let me, let me finish this point. I want to stick to landing. I'm saying, I can only speak. I can speak both ways when I'm speaking from having resources now, it is so easy for me to do those things. And most women say that they're attracted to which is the fancy days. It's just I think we're going you're saying tonight, tonight tonight. I mean not that it's important, but ship I can meet somebody today and say let's go to the next game, They're going to be really impressed.

Maybe they don't meet many men that can just do that, and so that's that's impressive.

It's impressive.

But for me, it was low vibrational thing. It didn't take no effort. I just had to look on stub hub by it and then I meet you there. But if I say, if I say, let's go walk to walk, hey, give me four hours of your time, we're gonna do something different. We're gonna we're gonna talk, We're gonna gonna know me. I'm getting know you are.

We're gonna do some different Shiro now meaningful, that's more meaning, that's what.

But that's what we just heard. Any man, any man won't Okay, okay, let me give this covey come on for me. You may We normally don't have an audience. What these niggas doing.

Don't look it upright, explain yourselfing.

Okay, So we are talking about first states in the history of first states as well.

Okay, so episode but which was perfect.

You know, we're talking about the evolution of better social But just to close it for me, a walk without purpose without a plan is you.

Ain't never been on a date with a nigga to know how to walk there.

That's not Yeah, I literally are you? Are you? Are you where? Dude?

Through like, I literally learned about getting me hopping through this. I'm sorry you taking me on a walk as a New York bit.

I had enough.

Okay, let's get into the history of dating and why you're an asshole?

All right?

So now on decisions decisions, we get him to more of the historical part of dating, sex and relationships. And this part I found interesting because it really does fluctuate. So we start from nineteen hundred. A date was a gentleman caller and you were chaperones.

How was they call him back in nineteen hundred?

So a gentleman caller was someone that would arrive to your house with a woman who peaked his fancy. The two of them would sit in a room with a chaperone, and it would continue on until there was a mutual interest, and then there was a marriage proposal. Sometimes there was sexual attention maybe, but it was always a chaperone present, kind of like Mormons and shit how they be doing that is, I don't that's nineteen hundred.

I don't know. No alone time. No alone time was that well because I guess they don't want you to You got to think back then they were more religious. They didn't want you to fuck. They don't want you to cross the line, damn.

So no one nice chance they was going to the Jezebel club down the street. Y'all know we're gonna have to deal with that soon. So we're about to be the Handmaid's Tales.

Then nineteen twenties come the Roaring twenties or whatever they call it, and that's basically when dating for young adults meant that they could go outside and do something. So there was amusement parks. Way they would do like fast cars. Basically an amusement park back then was you could take a car and ride it around. And the prohibition era

They got to play the field, watch it like that.

Flappers kind of let burlesque era happened in the twenties, so with more of like a sexual uptick, then people started to go out and do their things.

So that's when it started getting wrong.

The first dates happened from a man calling a woman on the phone in the nineteen twenties or not really a lot of approaching in person unless setting. So then fast forward the sixties and the seventies happened. You got the free love movement. Pre marital sex became so mainstream that basically the etiquette changed. People were hitting on each

So the nineties was then all hookup.

Now we're in the area where women are able to move around freely how they want, no strings attached was celebrated. They were having their own social scenes and it was more common for women to be out alone.

So now the.

Dating and course ship starts to go down. From the nineties, dating sites also came around in the nineties, which meant hooking up and up and up. Now you forward to the early two thousands and we have so many different types of dating polyamory four B, which we'll get into all of that, that the gentleman caller and the courtship are completely gone.

Do you think it's completely gone if we're still talking about dates or do you think expectation Women are now able to just express expectations because.

Now we have our own jobs, we pay our own bills.

Like, is it that there's been this blurred line of courtship because as women were maybe hyperly independent, we have our own funds and not everyone is necessarily seeking a man to come and rescue them and be married.

There's this juxtaposition of feminism and courtship that's happening.

And it's like me and you just saying I'm not gonna pay for it. I'm not gonna do the fake reach.

Me doing a reach or paying for a date that I invite a man on is in my brain my feminism or ego. Let's just say I go out with you and you're a millionaire, I kind of do want I've actually paid for more drinks with millionaires than not, and it seems to be the most impressive thing to any man with a seven figure or eight figure bank

I don't know why.

I really don't believe women are doing this or not, And it is kind of my way of being like, thank you for making the time.

Are these dates or are they business meetings and settings?

Because for me, like, no, I love doing that. If we're meeting for business, that does you already know I'll pick up a tab. I don't mind to me dating. I think how you start the relationship in the way in which you expect a man to show up out the gate, you have to kind of draw that.

So yeah, saying brothers.

The reason why I say that is how you start is how you finish, right, So if you are always heavily in that beginning stage, the giver, the initiator, then does that boat with how your relationship is going to be because at some point you expect that woman to pour back into you at some point you expect that woman to give you compliments.

Nigga, I just got a haircut, Tell me you like it.

But I think women are Yeah, I do too.

I'm not against buying gifts, but how can I vet that if during the dating process I'm only doing it towards you to me?

It depends though, how long, And that goes into no, it does. First date, I'm not coming with gifts, but like I remember, like the guy. No, there's the guy in my life right now?

Right date one? Three? Are you picking up a drink? Date three? If we go to a speakeasy after dinner?

I got the speakeasy day three, because now we're going it's not I'm not pumped faking at all.

If I pull it out, I'm paying. I don't pump fake.

But I do think that clearly after date two, by the time we get to day three, we're clearly both interested in each other. Day three is when I'm gonna start showing that I'm just as interested in it.

I don't think that a woman has to reciprocate during the dating process the same way a man the very same way, but there has to be some level of consideration, some level of pouring into during that dating question outside of being available to receive my initiation. I agree, And what I find is a lot of women aren't hitting that mark with the type of men that they want. Because here's the thing. The type of man that you

So now it's like, Okay, I want to show him that I'm not just here for the money, right.

But but.

But I'm saying for an average earning man, for average earning man, maybe that man isn't having that done. Is often because that woman fairness wants to see his fitness to provide for her financially. And I'm not taking that away from you or any a woman that want to see that. I'm saying, though, while he's doing that, is he did it?

We I have a question for you, actually, because you did mention that, and you just made me think that so what that No, you said that you paid more for drinks for men who are millionaires than not right, And there's just the way it.

Makes you feel.

How would you feel or would it be a different feeling for you to pay for drinks for a man that you knew didn't necessarily have his So.

I still make gestures, right, But here's the thing, the problem with what's the feeling though, I'll tell you so the thing when I date someone, let's just say this, make an average money.

This is gonna sound so elitist. I'm so sorry.

In the last four years of my life, if I go out with a regular nigga, they know I'm making way more than them, they know They've googled me, they understand, they get it, and so for me, I believe. Again, I feel really bad to say this, but like you fucking would a bitch who's making ten to fifteen times more than you, you kind of do need to show up for me because to earn how because I'm gonna end out of this show, how do they show up?

So I like to just break that immediately.

That for me is something that I always feel like is just like this unspoken thing they got to keep doing, keep spending whatever.

I just want to break that already. I'm tired of that trope. I'm just not the girl I have all the friends that are. I'm not hitting niggas up for bags. I'm not hitting them up for rent money. I don't need it.

Once you become my partner, if you got rich and and sure, but like I'm really not that bitch. I don't need it, don't care from it. For men, I really am looking for love and have it. But with the average dudes, I do need to see them step up a little more because I don't want to change my lifestyle necessarily as far as going on dates or doing fun social activities just because I'm with a man

It's crazy, though, that you want the man with less money to show up more financial.

I'm not saying they need to show up and take me. I'm not.

I'm not saying that either, But the fact that you're willing that you would you feel better paying for drinks for men that you know.

Have it have it more than because I'm not trying to help them. It feels better for you and that. But that's what I'm no, No, no, that is the point. I'm not paying for the drinks with the average nigga or the billionaire to help them financially. I am just simply trying to make a statement. So I'm not making a statement with these average niggas.

But so you think you're helping them financially by paying drink, That's what I just said. That is So that's what I just heard you say with the nigga that you know you not helping financially.

He got it.

So it's a statement for you, it's not a statement for you with a regular man. You feel like you're saving him money by picking up the tab. So there is a difference in feeling that you're getting from from paying on it on a day with a nigga who don't have it, compared to paying on a date with someone who does.

Look, can I say this?

Uh huh?

I think your outlook is I don't want to use the word fair, but it's understandable.

Like, it is very understandable because no matter how modern we think our thinkings are, we socialize traditionally to feel like a man's not that you're saying this, but a man's value is inherently what he brings to the table financially. And it's not that you're saying this outwardly, but I think the behaviors are saying okay, because you don't have

You gotta let me do it. That happens so infrequently for men.

That we don't know.

So when you pick up the tap that nigga probably discombobilated.

You know something. People said that it hit me.

I appreciate you saying it was fair because I feel like some of the men that are listening will feel insulted by what I said. But when I'm on dates pain for men that know I make that much more than them, I'm really setting the tone that I'm gonna take care of shit. Yeah, and I kind of don't like that. Whereas with a richer dude, it just really

With another woman.

You know what I'm saying. So and I hear my homeboys talk this way I get it. I just really want to get rid of that because as someone that is dating for love, especially with the word that I do whatever. Like literally, if you click on some horrible decision, shit starts swipe awiping there like this bitch is a bird, you know what I'm saying, Like you may think that because of the things we talk about. So I just really want to get rid of that now, don't get

Can I clarify something before because I know, yep, we'll have to wrap up. I want to clarify us and I get the context of what we're saying average do. But I'm gonna tell you, if that man got your attention, he is not average. He may be an average earning man. But that man is not average. If he's able to keep your attention, that means he is absolutely he is compensating in other ways that make that man well above

And I was speaking with you, Yeah, I completely agree. I never want to put down men for money. Like literally, someone asked me a question in my group chat yesterday. Would you want to be with the love of your life if y'all were making seventy five each love of your life or would you rather have access to unlimited money with someone that you felt just okay about.

The lad And I know you got to the ladder. This is I got to drop this one. I don't want emptiness.

Here's the thing, niggas, that's always been that nigga. Was that nigga broke or with money? Yep, niggas, that's been corny. It's always been corny broke or with money.

Listen, I fucked that. You know what I'm saying.

Like, the one thing about money, it is making more what you're already wash you was that nigga?

You more that nigga?

Yeah, but if you were corny, you are pretty still corn I've met so many men that's been successful now, especially in this digital age, and they still corny.

So there we go with that one. Ace. Thank you for joining us. God damn we didn't. First off, I never want to acquire behind the guest to get Wow. We ain't gotta. We gotta get one of.

Y'all motherfuckers out the room next time. I never want to acquire again.

Ace. Where can people listen to you? Support you, check out Tonight's conversations and everything else that you got going on.

Just you can follow me on any of your socials at ACE metaphor if you're interested in the podcast that I do produces to Nice Conversation, We have an app in the app store is Nice Conversation where you can watch full episodes of our podcast. But other than that, just tap in. You know, if you see a video of me, you know, like comment, share, that's all I ask.

I love that, And y'all also know that if y'all want more of the raunchiness, more of the sex.

Talk, make sure for us over on Patreon.

That's Patreon dot com, backslash horrible decisions, and y'all.

We sign it out, but it's decisions, decisions. See you guys next week.