EP 404: The Power Of Forehead Kisses

Welcome to Decisions Decisions.

I don't think you should say decisions decisions. It sounded like you was talking to this cursing. You definitely say to welcome, welcome to the new podcast.

Wait you want to say together decisions decisions. Oh bab, I'm trying to drink this coffee. Y'all.

Hope you drink some coffee too, wherever the fuck you at. Goddamn it.

Happy Monday, y'all.

It's Decisions Decisions back for another episode.

And I have been waiting for this tea to Mandy Gotd, I don't like that it's tea. I don't like that it's tea. It is tea bag. It is not tea. Because you know what's crazy.

I ended up talking to all my friends and bitch, stay aligned with me. So I'm ready. This is really like Lypton. It's it's hot tea to you. This is Lipton, this is you ain't know what Lypton is? Yeah, this is the this is the ice.

Cold lemon lemon tea that.

You get out the fridge. Okay, this tain't that type of tea. So basically, okay, y'all wed when.

We were in l A and uh that commercial that you guys got to see or we did our rebrand while we were there. This old God, I don't like that you just did the smack on my date. Well we know you didn't do a smack on your date.

Well, basically, I finally met Actor Bay and we went on a date. And yes, I'm smiling because even you know, I just went down. I just had to take a breather, uh for the recording. And he was the first person I just went to facetimon call like and you saw I called him when we got on stage from the live show last month. And that's what confused me, what confused you see, this is what this is why you was wrong.

Okay.

So basically went to LA and was only there for like two and a half days because we went there literally just for decisions, decisions, horrible decisions work and I met Actor Bay. So the plan was for us to meet up. I was supposed to go to the Lakers game of my little plug fucked up with the guy damn tickets, so we didn't go to that. And no, no, no, we literally said, in hindsight, it was a great thing. Goshad keep the home because the way so because we

I don't even know how to shout out to that Asian girl and a couple, Oh my god.

Oh sorry. So we ended up doing Katsuya.

So we did Katsuya, We did Mister Wonderland, which is a speakeasy, and then we did a rooftop. So we did three dates in one night. We just kept talking. It was so great. So at dinner, I guess we'll start with what he did so we could at least get some tea, so that this is the tea I think.

So he did a little bullshit.

This is where y'all also get to see maybe why I'm single, maybe why it's taking me forever to get a nigga, because oh the thing we were doing, yes with the check. No, so there's something else. Oh no, we're gonna talk about what we were talking about in the green room. So anyways, so we go to Katsuya. Anyone that knows about catsuya, it's like a nobu, It's like a it's like an upscale sushi restaurant, right, so when you go there, you expect to spend some coin.

Okay, it's cute.

We were sharing though, like all the roll stuff, So which get we do? So basically, son, so that's what I'm about to say. So literally, so we're we're on this date and y'all know how I told y'all I do not even fake reach for a wallet. So he goes to do I guess something that he does when he goes on dates. So the bill comes, the bill is sat and he goes to look at it and he makes this space like like it's a like it's a high bill, and bitch.

I don't respond. So he's like, dang, you messed up my joke.

Like there's this thing that there's a there's a Seinfeld bit that I normally do, you know when I go to dates, just to gauge of reaction. Now, y'all know I don't like tester quiz either, So he does this hold on it.

You already know. I'm like, Seinfeld, I don't watch that Cracker. I don't know.

So it was like this, so Minu Seinfeld. The only real Seinfield I've ever listened to was that Willet album. Like when Seinfeld opened up every goddamn song, you know what I'm talking about. You already know that's the only Seinfeld I know. I don't like him like that. So he does that right with the eyes wide open. Bitch,

I ain't even order drinks.

I know that shit ain't expensive what it is one twenty And I literally look at him like you you weren't gonna get a response out of me for a little check when I wasn't even drinking this. I'm gonna give you all the talk game for a month, nigga for months, And I said it could have been four hundred.

I'm not flipped. Don't he fucking bro? Don't he British around higher?

That's what I don't know, bruh. So he's like, he mad that I ain't reacting. I was like, well, first off, you were gonna pay for it, and I said, what am I flinching for?

Nigga? I'm literally not drinking now.

If I was on my drinking game where I probably had three faux drinks and then bitches was twenty dollars a piece.

Yeah, maybe because he doesn't drink. Did he actually seem bothered or no? No, no, no, no he didn't. Oh he was waiting for a mind you. I was like, what it is like once twenty it was like one thirty eight, and it's like, yeah, niggas, don't do that.

And I literally said, I said, nigga, And it's only because one of the items we had was market price and I ain't know the market price, nigga, I said, Otherwise I would have been on I.

Will tell you, yes, tell tell men. Don't do that.

Don't act surprise that a guy didn Hell, that shit is not attractive.

That fellas.

If it does look bad, you need to put on the biggest poker faces. I've definitely done that before.

Wait, you've done what before? I'm like, yeah, this is kind of high, but but I know I'm paying for it. But wait, but you let the girl know that. Damn it. No, you gotta put the poker face on.

Yeah, I said seek, but the white women, I said, don't be bringing those sign Field jokes over him, nigger. But then what's crazy is so so we leave Katsuya, we head to the speakeasy, and if you guys live in LA and you've been to a Lakers game, you pass all of these tables with fucking graphic T shirts. LA live and out of nowhere.

Bitch.

I wanted a Kobe and Michael Jordan GRAPHT T shirt. I said, oh, I want a graphic T shirt. So here we go. I know, I want a graphic T He's like, man, in LA, nobody buys these shirts. They're like, I said, I want a graphic T shirt. I like these shits. So I'm sitting here gambling with the nigga gambling, negotiating man, negotiate whatever is that, the negotiating.

Gambling with a T shirt and nigga.

I'm like, he like, he like two of forty. I said, two of thirty. I said, what's up? So literally he hears me go and he was like, dang, you just pull your wallet right on out.

Don't put the T shirt.

I said, oh yes, because this isn't a part of the date. I said, So whether you buy this for me or not. I'm gonna get the T shirt. So we're talking but no, mind you, he's also completely against me getting these shirts, but I really want to.

There's no you think it's see, it's not.

I want to tell them because I want to tell them the transgression of the date. Anyways, he ends up buying me the shirts and we go to the speakeasy. Of course, we get to the speakeasy, we're both mind you, not drinking, so I make them make me a pickle martini, no licker, so it's literally probably just pickle juice and water.

I don't fucking know. So we're at the speakeasy.

Of course, wouldn't be a date without the goddamn bar spitting around, and it turns into a fucking bur Less performance. So now we're at watching a Burless performance at this speakeasy. Then we go to the fucking rooftop and we're just talking and laying down and it's great.

Night's over. We linked at like five thirty.

It's almost eleven, so we pretty much spent like five six hours together. Didn't even feel like it could have like continued on, but we had to record the next morning, so and he had a photo shoot the next morning.

So we go to end the date and it's wonderful.

He walks me to the lobby of my hotel room before he goes to head back wherever the fuck he lives in La and we embrace each other with a really really big long hug and he kisses me on my forehead, and then we depart, and so I come in the next morning, y'all, and I'll tell Weezy about.

This great old following day.

It wasn't me, it was me, No, it was only you when you're your makeup artists, because everyone else.

But she wasn't mad that we didn't kid.

No, I'm just saying how many people were doing Oh there was There was six people in the room. Yeah, me, my makeup artist, Mandy's makeup artists. So she's telling us this, right, mm hm. I never said anything wrong. I was like, damn, why don't you kiss?

Didn't think anything was wrong.

I started out, no, No, it was about what you said you were okay, So you were like, oh, kiss your other ford.

I'm like that sweet, but I'm just expected to make it out.

Yeah, and then you said I never kissed on a date.

On a date, if I'm not fucking yeah both, I vote yeah, that's not crazy. That is not crazy. First off, it's crazy. No, no, no, it's not crazy.

You know why.

First off, I'm a grown ass motherfucking woman. Like if you were at high school and you feel like you gotta make out because you got to go back home to your mama house. That is the excitement of making out on a date when you were a grown ass woman just going on a date. Why am I sitting here? Oh it's a roman to make out with a nigga just to make out with him.

That doesn't make sense.

Making out is Why would I make out with a nigga who's leaving and going home and I'm going to my room. If we're gonna make out, I mean as well put your dick in my mouth. I don't understand, bro, this is real. Why am I making?

Why clip?

I'm not making First off, let's be very clear too, what if you were going on multiple dates? Me ending multiple dates making out with a guy at the end does not make sense.

Why do you think it's make out? Why can't you share a kiss intimately?

A pop kiss is not an intimate kiss. A pop kids a pop kiss is like to me, making out his tongue. That's the kiss you're talking about, right, You want me to make out with a nigga like I'm in high school.

It doesn't have to be like all day long.

But I'm not saying all day long. Let's let's justify a kiss. A makeout is tongue. I think a kiss.

Can be intimate if it's not a makeout too like, I think you can end the date.

I think it was very intimate that he kissed my forehead. We didn't do the We didn't do the Spaniard the Italian. We did we had an embraced hug. And then he's really tall. He's really tall. So at all he's tall.

He's tall. Maybe that's so mind you kisses me. He kissed me on my forehead.

But also that's the other thing. I date niggas six two plus, bro, I got to look like a little tro.

You think nigga that are tall don't kiss.

Come on, I know it's tall niggas, But I'm just saying you really thinking that, because I know you said it in the green room that day. I never had a kiss with.

Not that I didn't sit here and be like, let me suck you off in the car after to bro why am I making out?

What question? If you went for it, though, would you have let it happen? I think it would have felt weird, like even when we there was no way for.

It to happen, because that's the why would we just make out?

But maybe we're just friends?

You said that, No, I didn't you because we didn't buck after I know you were like, oh, we're not.

No.

You asked if if you think I friendszoned him or he friendszoned me friend? I didn't have to answer no, no, no, no, no, we're absolutely friends right now. But you use the word friend zone and I said it's possible.

I don't know. We'll see how it is.

And you literally kiss after literally asked me as well, well, are y'all still talking? And I said he hit me when he got home, and we've been talking all day like normal. Nothing has changed in our dynamic of.

How we talk. Would you have let him kiss you? Letting kiss is like, yeah, we both didn't go to your theory.

If you have let him kiss to me though, that's what I'm saying.

A pop kiss is one thing, and.

Now we found real childish y'all know, and they're navigating a kiss to me after a date, especially a first date that is not ending in a nightcap, and.

A good first date, that's a six hour day, that's a good first.

Day, which is why it absolutely did not need to end in a fucking childish ass makeout.

So why do you keep calling you child?

I think making out with someone is childish, especially yes, I think that's why I sell.

No because I'm.

Celibate and and to be honest with you too, And you guys may hear more of this on on Patreon or when I when I, but I do know when I when.

I did Tuesday, I am.

I am navigating right now my relationship between drinking and sex. And to be fair, I was so present on the date and it felt so good and we talked like we did on the phone clearly for hours that I was like, Wow, there actually could possibly be a tie between my hyper sexuality and liquor because I wasn't.

I wasn't mad. I really enjoyed the date.

I'm still talking to him daily for hours.

Nothing has changed.

I'm not saying that, uh, not kissing as bad didn't mean that at all. I was surprised you guys didn' kiss because you've exchanged nudes and ship.

Yeah, but I said that too. He exchanged nudes though when we first met in the DMS. Once we started fucking crying with each other about our trauma. This, I ain't seen a.

Dick sen enigma. Y'all exchanged news, but a kiss would have been crazy. No, no, no, no, actually that's I don't I don't like this. I don't like this.

One is virtual, one is in person. They're two completely different things.

But right, but you're building it. I get that.

But because we didn't have sex, so we both went in knowing that we weren't. Because he knows I'm celibate right now, we both went into where there wasn't pressure for him to come up to my room.

Hold. Wow, wow, guys, we are really breaking the thousand. Okay, one more question.

Yes, you've been on a date, right, Let's just say a guy who walks you to your the bottom of your building or whatever, or even in the.

Car drops you off. You haven't had a kissing session before you left ever? When I was in high school, or I told you, I really only made out with niggas when they picked me up from the airport because they flew me out and I knew I was gonna fuck them that weekend. I am not a dater. I think we've talked about this on the pod, and so when I go on dates, yeah, like it's I'm getting to know you. This was nice, let's see each other again.

I told you.

There's the the musician guy with the dreads, Lenny Kravitz looking niggas. I've been on three dates with him, amazing dates, fucking we close down and speak easy. At record room, we went, he took me to a fucket to Chinatown and we did the Arcade and then we did a bar in Brooklyn. Dates and we haven't kissed. Why why do you think that? I think that's a part of me too.

I'm not really ye are you.

I'm not leaning in to kiss them to me. I also and and this could be just I feel like the conversations are so open in regards to our previous relationships, our sexuality and things. Because of the show that I have and what I'm free with talking about that, I think a part of me doesn't feel the need to lean in physically like it's there. We've been talked about the things that I'm in too. We've talked about the things that I want. I don't think I need to

I think it was breaking this barrier of like, oh, now it's become a romance. So the first date, let's just say you meet on an app or you meet cold eyeg whatever. You're figuring each other out right. You're getting to know each other for some reason. To me, maybe those maybe I'm wrong. I am curious when people think what that marker is. But for me, the kiss seals it. The kiss kind of confirms for me, like we're both attracted beyond just a surface level.

Oh we are we friends or not. There's something about a kiss.

That then shows me one that there is a little bit of intimacy here, even if it's not turning into sex. I don't expect kisses to turn into sex ever, if the first you just said it lets you know that it's beyond friendship. But and to me, a date, a first date absolutely is not to signify that. To me, we already know we're attracted to each other, especially if we meet online or we've already exchanged the actual attraction with each other, we've already engaged that we are into

So the first time that you get you look so shocked.

This is crazy to me, Like the way you're like, you're you're asking me the same question for the seventh time and it's not gonna change.

Do y'all notice that?

Hold on, whoo he do y'all realize that she has asked me the same question of time even No, it's.

Where you're really attracted to someone. No, don't kiss until the same.

I normally normally Yes, I Am not just making hey this kissing mention and be like, oh pussy next. No I no, no, not what I'm saying. That is not what I'm saying for you, though, I mean maybe for me. But by that point, if I'm kissing you were on my couch, we're in a bed, like I don't feel the need to make out with someone in a public.

Okay, I see now, Okay, so like she has to be maybe I've never been.

In a sexy speakeasy or a rooftop and you just share my ex.

I'm not gonna lie.

My ex was probably the first person I was out here having PDA with outside of maybe outside of maybe the nigga that I said I'm making double back to. We made out a in a strip club one time. But I don't be out here doing PDA with niggas.

I just can't believe no one's ever leaned in when dates a little Okay, so that's a question too.

We're sitting across. Yeah, no one's made the move on you.

Even when you talked about the linning gravitude your leg was on his, It wasn't. We didn't kiss, we didn't move to man, you put your leg on me right now, I'm talking about.

No.

Yeah, no, I swear to me. Oh the second a woman for me too. If a woman does too much touching me.

Yeah right, y'all. That's why I digga's got mino and ship.

Out here, y'all. Nasty y'all, would you show you a little bit of attention. That's leg on me. Bro. We were close and there was a couple next to us.

I just wanted to get closer because we were really having a deep conversation about our upbringing. Bro, baby, Bro, don't you put your leg on EDDI? If you have, I don't think I would put my leg on Edi. I would put my leg on on Wolf.

I don't believe that. I don't. I don't believe that. I think we've had a lot of not what you mean by leg and what do you mean? Yeah? You know what?

Okay, Yeah, because I'm sick of talking about this ship.

God damn.

Okay, you're gonna ask me the same way. But if he was trying to make out with you, if he was trying to make out with you.

Decision kiss me? No, bro, wait, go ahead and go keep going.

You have made I was I make out in the lobby of my hotel without being.

Like, how would you have stopped it? How would you have stopped that?

Then? No, I don't understand why wait what do you say? Well, well, by the way, are you are you on a microphone? You're doing a lot of talking them. Not be on a microphone. I need you to act like we're professionals over here. Share the microphone with you on your mouth? You have made out with him? If you went for that, I probably would have pulled away.

Damn, and then what would you do?

Are you trying to come up to my room? Why are we making out? I don't understand why?

You know what?

I guess I'll say this maybe something that just hit me because you said, why are we making out? Why are we making I am satisfied with enjoying kisses with someone and stopping I love. I don't think I need to go far like I think a kiss sharing that it's sexy. It's not even teazy. I genuinely don't feel like it's edging for me. I enjoyed just the kiss. I don't always need something to lead to the end. I don't need to get naked. I don't need to

Like, okay, So do you want to know what I may attribute it to?

Oh, not me digging deep into my therapy. No, it's not even trauma.

As much as I think a lot of my just a lot of my relationships with men are physical. Okay, So to me to be able to spend five or six hours and not be physical at all and still be so enthralled. That's why I like musician Nigga bro Our first date four hours and we.

Were talking about his children.

I don't even like kids, and I was asking him questions about his kids, like. We had such a great conversation, and to be honest with you, I don't even think niggas be that entertaining. So when I finally meet someone that's attractive and can hold my attention with conversation for six hours, I almost don't want to by just going straight to being physical.

So now I realize, too, Oh God, here we go. Now you do it so deep.

I want to kiss you the more I'm getting intimate. To me, talking about someone's children for hours is intimacy. Talking about deep things that's intimacy. I actually want to share the kiss now.

You know. See to me and I think, but to me, it's the opposite.

And it may be because if y'all listen to horrible decisions for for what, for forever, forever, forever, I wasn't in. I had really no concept of intimacy. And I think in my last relationship intimacy came in the forms of spending long hours with my ex. Everything out of the bedroom is actually what I miss about that relationship, And so I think intimacy for me now is being able to be in those quality nigga not not love love

That be the worst. Niggas don't be out here knowing how to kids.

Why you used to say I need to fuck you quick to figure out? You got good day for good dayside feel about kill that's how you feel like, Oh, I want to.

Kiss is bad. Niggas don't be knowing how to kiss.

So if I like you and then you ruined it with a bad kiss, nah, now you don't ruin it.

You feel me.

Remember when I was dating the Dreamville dude two years ago and I couldn't figure out what it was. I was like, oh my god, I'm so into him, but I don't know if it's friendly. Do you know why I said that?

Because he did? Oh, because he didn't kiss you? And I remember what you did? You just be out here kissing on niggas. No, he even said it to me too. But that's such a like a pivotal moment for a lot of people when it comes to dates. It's like, how do you break that?

And I said he He also said to me we met at Dreamville.

That's why I call him the Dreamville nigga. Right.

We were going on dates, dinners, drinks, flirting damn near me, dancing on his dick at some parties, and we didn't kiss till the fifth date. And I remember saying to him, oh my god, finally, and he was like, I didn't know if it was friendly or not.

So this not finally.

Probably suck a dick before kissing the naked though, that's the crazy part, Like I don't I know that sounds crazy.

This is not horrible to say, but that's where no, no, no, no, we are.

Not cluipping that, but do not have back and kiss from the didn't even say we're working back. This is this was a really thought thought provokey. No, it makes don't clip the.

But no.

So I think that that's my thing, like really leaning into what intimacy looks like without being physical with somebody, because to be fair, that's been the easiest part.

You're so crazy too, then let's get some Yeah, you kissing to me is not the physical part of dating. I actually think that's so like, I think physical part dating is like nakedness more sexual.

Kissing isn't sexual to me. There is. There is literally fluid swapping. I don't know that is fluid.

Swopping, plastic romance, innocence like anyway, go, So, so the kiss on my forehead was that thank you that I love a forehead kiss. I would have been like, oh, he doesn't like me. I'm not I love literally.

Right, Let's say if he kissed you on the forehead insteaded.

I love he wants he wants because you like that level and that's what you're striving for it. Yeah, I like the forehead kiss.

The forehead kiss. I like when I'm already kissing you a forehead kiss before the lip kiss, I'd have been like, oh, what the fuck are you doing?

That? Is it my breath?

Like I not saying for you to to think like that.

That's how I just so you know, me and him had this whole conversation by he ain't kissing. We we both didn't think it needed to happen, like we both were. We literally he was like bro. Like he didn't say bro. He said, bro, you already knew. And he says, my accent is getting worse. He told you that already to last night.

I can. He's like, how do we talk every day and it's getting worse? I said, I don't know, but it's getting really bad.

Wait, you know what though, if I would have seen someone dick, Like, let's just say, because I've met a lot of dudes, I've met some dudes from like a different you know, long distance shit like and we've done that whole thing. We kissed before, like the first second we meet in person. But I think again, we reverted. We don't send newes to each other, we don't even talk sexually. Send him a titty right now, take a pause? Whoa first off, Yeah, we are doing too much. Sorry,

Yes, if you could go back in time and witness a historical event, which one would you choose?

And why?

I have a dream you really would want to be there for that only because when Bernie Sanders talks about it, and I met one other person in my lifetime of talk that that was there.

She was like.

Maybe eighty something, very clear when she talked about it, but was also experiencing dementia until she talked about that moment.

Oh wow, we'd love to see that. Like, to me, I'm not mad at that there's a pivotal moment and to see white people kind of turning. Now. I'm not saying I want to see this as at that age.

I just feel like it would be very interesting to see the moment that people thought it was gone, Like what did it feel like in the air where people like, what what did that feel like?

For me?

The closest thing we had to it when George Floyd died and Joe Biden got elected that for some reason felt like a little bit of pain relief for I feel like that's probably that moment for us today. Okay, I'm not matter like we were in hell bitch, what about you Eden?

Like I want to see Michael Jackson for the first time.

Oh, I'm not mad at that one battle moment to think about all these R and B and pop artists who are so influenced by him doing that that because there's video of it, but like to know and be like, damn, that's Michael.

First of all, it's Michael Jackson, and then.

Too like he's doing this dance and his moves and ship and the teas, and then like everybody's loving it.

I love it? Okay?

Is it wrong now that I want to change my answer to something fun? The elevator with the lane, I won't be the I'm not mad at that one, niggas was. I'm not mad at that one. I mean we know what they was fighting about, though, No, we don't. Becky with the with the guy hair, I don't.

Believe it anymore. You don't believe it, you know what?

Yeacuse everybody thought I was pregnant and what you say, I don't want to I'm telling you.

I feel like I feel like that's right.

I mean, it's weird because when when I when I

You had everything in your mind and memories.

And then the only other the only other time that I I think I would want to go back to. I'm not gonna lie again, Prohibition Roaring twenties era. Bro, you said that was a bad time for us. I wouldn't want to go back in the North. Wasn't we free? Yes, Like like the Harlem Renaissance was happening.

Are you serious? Bad things that were happening the North. Weren't we free? Gave the talking about bitch.

Maybe we weren't free everywhere bitch in the Nord in New York.

So we're good now now, I mean I ain't gonna hold you. We still are some fund up times now, bro about witch. No, there's still niggas driving around Georgia with confederate.

Maybe do you want to be a mixed girl the nineteen twenty they think you better just be out here with a flat for fick and not. Yeah the fuck we ain't never seen this answer the hell that come from g M o.

O. Kick you out man, which I do like the outfits for. Back then, Damn, I wouldn't be able to be a flopper.

You would have been a cleaning lady bitch. That's fine. We could have been where we are today, jessep Mill's bitch.

I would have been a goddamn Jesubel at the goddamn club, fucking around with the marriage.

I do think if I was gonna live at any time, Uh, I'm not talking about being a moment.

Is there any time? Talk about it every goddamn week, bit so trained me. I'm not okay.

The nineties, No, so trained is the nineties early nineties I'm thinking of.

I'm thinking of when Moore was on that bitch. Oh you want to go back, you wanna.

Go okay, I want to do mid seventies, early eighties, give me a little Studio fifty four, a little fresh cookya right when the ship was high school?

Oh, bitch. I think that's why I even said.

That's why I even said, uh, the early nineties because the way they be talking about the big Meach era of the clubs and how the niggas had real money like the.

Dope boys these days.

That's why when you said this shit is a live show, give me a dope boy, they broke. Now these little scammers be literally doing some shit for like twenty thousand dollars the peasants. The scammers today is not scamming like they used to. The drug dealers they selling the drugs because the Feds got it for the free.

But like you know what I mean, like weed, everybody sells that back thou bro hood millionaire tried scammer. Drug dealer guys ain't hitting like they used to. Like okay, fine, give me a cartel member.

I think they don't make money. Wait, cartels don't make money.

They don't, but like, no, no, no, they kill everybody.

Yeah, not the women they love. It's everybody that hates them, kill the women they love. Oh are you gonna kiss them?

Watching Netflix show, I would kiss my cartel leader, I really think, honestly, Oh my god, if I could have been in Studio fifty four. Sometimes this is how I know Studio fifty four was lit. My mom will go out and like we were at this at James and MIA's wedding. Right she meets someone's mom, they start talking about New York. They realized they were on the same age. The way they talk about Studio fifty four, like like we were in this era.

It must be like freakingick bitch. Oh, I'm not gonna lie.

I just saw a documentary on Oh, Shine and Bitch, the way like New York Club, like the way the nightlife of New York looks in the.

Early in the early nineties, early two thousands, I'm like paradise. Like dude, the Martinez brothers. If anyone loves house music, I didn't even know this their father, Oh yeah that music. Yeah, did not know that, Like because I was hanging what do you do uh, do you remember the Martinez dad He was famous for what song?

Like one that we all know?

Actually was it like Daddy Yanky or some shit like that? Okay, I'm I know it was.

But if she's right, I'm no. I love Old school House, Jungle Brothers, all of it.

So like if I could have been nineties fucking dance party Studio fifty like.

Same, that's what I say, I would have been back in that. What's crazy?

Every time I read about like I love Bosqueat, everyone knows I've got him chatted. When I start reading about shit and everybody be dying from Heroin, I'd be.

Like, was that the thing? Because we do Molly?

No, No, no, everyone was dying from Heroin the same way everyone's dying from Fannel now, same shiit, same ship.

Yeah.

I don't want to be one of those girls. Just give me a little fun bomb and I'll just dance a night away. I don't want the hard shit that you.

Don't know until you don't wake up. Like that's kind of how that works. They they are a lot of them thought that they were just having a good time too.

Bitch, you never found it.

It's just an't all right, let's get into our reactionary clip. I'm gonna play a clip now. Now, this is a little bit problematic, and I can't wait to talk to you guys about it, and it then will lead us into.

Much more problematic. In this beginning convo, this was not problematic. Grided's gonna fight about them that case. They're gonna say normal, I like sata and side now kiss, I'm.

Not playing with you. Okay, here's the clip. I'm a black man who's bisexual, so if I end up with a white wife, it's okay because a black woman's deepest fear is a secret gay husband. Oh, earth quake with it.

Hold on, because there was a few things that were said there that I want to point out.

So he said, mind you, he is.

A bisexual black man, and he said, so when I end up with a white wife, don't be mad, because a black woman's worst fear is ending up with a secretly gay man. So, first off, contradictory there, he's leaning into his reason for being in an interracial relationship by admitting his sexuality, but then saying that a black woman's biggest fear is a secretly gay black man. So I want to decipher that because a man being bisexual is

Hot Teke.

If you are a bisexual man that has felt unsafe and riddle culed by your community and you.

Have felt some safety somewhere else, I'm mad at you. An interracial relationship.

Okay, I say this because, uh, I don't think there's two issues here. The rhetoric that black men are hearing and receiving from their black moms, sisters, friends about buying die niggas, yep, their friends and black women and how the public would make them feel to one bet with a man like that, and how they view black men. So if white women will accept you in your sexuality, take it. I'm not saying that black women don't desert

I don't care.

There's a lot of black women know that'll accept you, that listen to this show, that have opened their eyes like I've met them.

I've met bisexual couples.

Actually shout out to the one we had on hem Hem me too. He did, okay, he was like, bitch, I an't remember I was jan We Jamaican. I know, I didn't remember that.

I didn't remember that anything. I didn't remember Dominican. I thought he was loved you. Also, I something that made me think.

I saw this tweet one time and said, you ever met a nigga and thought they was gay and you found out they were just married to a white woman, Because I'll need them all the time.

So I guess that was my That was my problem with this thing, and that is my problem. I hate to make this a problem with black men yet again. However, creating this type of dialogue is the same. He is acting in the same way as the Passport bros. He's acting as the same way of the black men who parade and say how much better white women are in

I think that part of them. You know why you know them? Well, no, and I get that that's why I know them.

But no, But it's true, Mandy, we're talking from this is all tribes. Like, there's people that have never met someone trance. There's people that have never met someone in a throple dog. We're talking from a different place. The rest of the world.

I get that, But the rest of the world, you know, well, the rest of the world. I want to talk about the rest of the world. I never see content and bitch, I'll be going down rabbit holes. I never see content of white men saying and this is why I don't date white women. I never see Middle Eastern men say and this is why I don't date my own women. I never see any other race do that to the extent that black men have the need to constant.

Black women do it too.

No, no, no, But what I'm saying, I'm talking about us.

We do this to each other.

The only the only that I see about black women saying why they don't date black men and hot take The only time I see that is genuinely from black women that have felt as though they were not esthetically what a black man wants.

Actually, I'm gonna tell you what. It's not that black women are talking about not dating black men. Black women continually, even on this podcast, make content about how niggas ain't shit. Oh no, the fact, But I've also know this is not even no no, no no. We can say niggastion shit with they behavior. But I have never even said I wanted to date anything but a black man. But I'm saying, though, that doesn't mean that you're not creating

It's not that we're trying to tell the world black men are terrible.

But we can only talk about this heartbreak we've had or whatever and listen as a bit shooting dated and white niggas.

When I first moved to New York, they're all the same. But it's just the stuff that we're making. We vent a lot.

And also, Black people have so much fucking trauma about who's got to be here, who's got to be what. That's why white people don't do this, bro, We are not an option to them. They're not even thinking about this. There's a million of them. We are constantly doing this to each other, bro Like, it is a constant battle of sexist within the black community.

I do think white people make that red pil con.

I still think we can talk about each other without constantly saying and this is why I go elsewhere, This is why I don't want my own people.

My people are bad because they do this.

We literally our own people are the only ones that lean into the stereotypes and dismiss us the way that every other race does. And what I'm saying is I don't see the content from Dominicans saying why.

They don't date dominicane Dominican.

Is it just Dominicans people too?

First off, because they want to be white. We saw what happened with the elect It's because they don't even accept their own ethnicity. They want to be white, passing or negatal because baby, the fucking Dominicans to be no but no. But what I'm saying is even within the Latino community, they they align themselves as either blacks or white still like, so, I think there's still that rhetoric

Like, why did you leave? Now I get it, I'm not gonna lie. That would be an interesting approach.

No, but like because they're so open with each other and I'm gonna I'm gonna share my that.

Would be the problem. But I would I will tell you this though. I mean, we're so She's right, we are so open with Yeah, So like if you just sa because that would be the problem.

But I would not leave him one because I know he's scared to lose me if he didn't tell me this isn't I cheated on you?

Wait, why would you be upset? Why do you can?

I ask you because that is something where I don't know how long I would date a guy before I tell him, Yeah, I really enjoyed getting sucked by two men, me and my ex We never had that conversation, so it so it does take a while to open up about your sexual history, even with your partner.

So because he.

Doesn't identify as bisexual or even queer at all, maybe that would be an experience he was waiting until that's why I understanding, Like he's not. But then why would you be upset? Because why why is that? Why was that your immediate response?

Because we both have gone really far with explaining our sexual history and what we're looking for, what we want, what we want to try, I would kind of feel like, I mean, also I'm talking about with the current person i'm with.

Yeah, that's why I'm yeah, I can't see it.

I don't We've gone so far into deep, deep diving traumas, weird shit when we were kids. Virginity is like even things that were towing the line.

With other people.

Wait, Like I just would be very surprised and it would kind of make me feel like, ooh, I'm not that much of a safe space because I thought it.

Was because of how open they are.

So then aside from that, though, is there in my last relationship, actually wouldn't be surprised. Sorry, I mean that not wow, I mean I wouldn't be surprised if he held something like.

That for me.

Okay, But then outside of holding that information, you're saying you wouldn't it would make you feel a way. No, Okay, I just wanted to because that that's even. That's even I think the fear that a lot of men have because I and I did want to.

Buy the different though I know, I mean, we're both different, but that's why I still want to have time and I love to. I mean, no, but that when I hear this video, Yeah it sucks because it's a black woman attack, but it's not black women, it's I believe this comes from black men. No, I agree, but you know what I'm saying. So it's like when it comes to queerness in the way black people make each other feel. I mean, I'll be honest.

We got to see it in Insecure, right Molly was dating a guy that she really liked and he.

Came out and let her know.

When I was in college, I experimented and she completely became uninterested in him.

So I think the way if someone came out horrible right now, a black sexual nigga and started talking about blah blah blah, the only guy we had that I can think about right now, is Zachary's saying he's white dude, but just talking about second date, even pussy whatever.

No, we've uh Eli the naked trumpeter at quite a few of our sex workers actually are queer leaning.

I'm just trying.

We've had to go someone bat. I'm telling stories back forth, back and forth. Right, the comments in this section are going to be so different from another podcast. And I really if you put that shit on the Shade Room, if you put it on Twitter. Even a keen Wits made a comment to me his U haul clip about fucking those two white dudes in the U Haul So funny, right, I was different when he went on lip service. He's like the way people treat me, or even when it's

Nigga, they're not.

Yeah, like we're too much. That's why, Yeah, I hate too much. I get it too much for that. But I mean no, I think that these are the conversations like this is what should become normalized.

Trump got elected again and by a it wasn't a time, it wasn't close.

Well, I wanted to. I wanted to get through some of the history of homophobia. The terminology, by the way, if you guys didn't even know, is so new. The nineteen sixties is where this word was even coined by psychologists Joyge Weinberg. And it's a combination of the word homosexual and of course and of course the Greek word phobos,

My kind of view on kind of kind of sharing my even term of or not termed. But when I was I felt I was a bit homophobic. I actually remember who I didn't read your little racist chapter.

Uh it wasn't racist, but I remember my thoughts around anal sex. If a man wanted to fuck me in my ass, I was like, oh, he's got to be gay. And I remember not wanting to be interested in having sex with anyone who didn't want my pussy hole, Like why do you want my asshole when there's a pussy here? And I had to unlearned, like I was like, why am I having this? I mean clearly I peg now and I do all the little fun things, and I would date a guy who's bisexual. I would love to

Now that I'm thinking about it, I wonder if i'd even heard my mom say like, oh, that's gay, like if a guy's but like, oh he must be get Like I'm sure I've heard.

That, And this is no shade to our mom. My mom's seventy five years old, Like what the fuck is she gonna think like you? And it's not even a bad thing, but you know that's that's yeah, it is what it is.

But that was used for so long as a slur as negative, like no one wants to be referred to as gay if they're not.

Iasonally think there was maybe one bisexual conversation I had with my mom. She didn't call him gay. There was a guy I went to prom with. If I could find you, I would love to find you.

I don't.

We went to prom together and he was gay. You're gonna be shocked. I went to one prom and it was with a white man. Can you believe that he invited me? But I didn't go to prom my boyfriend. By the time I was going to prom, he was too old to come go figure, I went to one prom with a white man.

Oh see, I couldn't go to a prom with my niggas, so I went with my gay bestie.

Okay, but I really do want to find you anyway, So if you I see this, uh anyway, Basically, I think he did something with a girl, and I remember telling my mom. I guess he was messing with so and so. My mother never said anything about him being biergay. She goes, oh, he does all of them, he fast. I think bisexuality and men back in the day ah was seen as hypersexuality.

Interesting. I think probably even if we're women too. Oh oh yeah, I told you.

Y'all go on, patron a sex worker slut shane me because I was out here dating a couple.

But yeah, so like it does look like that, so real quick. Just a little timeline too.

In ancient Greece, same sex love was accepted between free born men, but in the nineteenth in the ninth century BC, like kirgis, I don't know. I'm glad we got rid of these names from back then because them shits is hard made it a crime punishable by death or banishment. In the Middle Ages, intolerance towards homosexuality grew, especially here we go amongst Christians and Muslims. The motherfucking Church. I don't know why they was acting like they wasn't out

I mean maybe even did it.

In England in eighteen thirty five, the last two men were hanged for males homosexual activity, but prosecutions continued. In nineteen sixty seven, the law was changed to decriminalize consensual homosexual acts between men over twenty one, Bro, nineteen sixty seven, that's a year my breaking mom was born. That's a great instagram consensual homosexual that's crazy. And of course, y'all in the US in the mid twentieth century, the lavender scare y'all look that up led to the mass dismissal

Bro. That is so fucking funny to me. What I want to do two you guys ever met a fuckinghi.

No.

I wanted to do this in kind of an umbrella way because I really would love to get a guest to come on here and discuss specifically homophobia and what's the word sex?

You know, I guess the lack of Jason Burden, well, the lack of sex.

No, no, no, no, because I didn't finish not only homophobia or that, I want to lean into just black people in general and where are our upbringing around discussing sex at all?

Came about so clearly homophobia the Black.

Church, easy, but there's also this conversation that has not had about Black sexuality with women, how we exist in being sexual beings, and also us fighting the fetishism that has long been you know, included with.

Us all over and around and about. But you don't know none about history. I know a lot about history, and I want to have someone come on and have this talk.

I mean, this is something that I do on my spare time, like, which is why when we talked about what the new segments of this show would look like, I was like, bitch, I've been down the motherfucking rabbit hole.

I didn't create a whole guy science podcast, and then I heard never hold On Ever, I was never gonna talk science. Now we're gonna talk history. Though.

Nonetheless, though I do want to make sure we close out by letting you guys know y'all want to hear all the nastiness. Maybe whenever I get to actually suck actor based pen, that will all.

Be on Patreon.

So go on over to Horrible Decisions on Patreon, this Patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions. And also, if you want to be a part of our You've got Decisions on Wednesdays, make sure you email your question to Decisions Pod at Gmail, almost to Decision God at gmail dot com. Also, No Holds Barred a Sexual, a dual manifesto on sexual.

Read it Again Sexual, Let Me.

Do my audiobook ken No Holds Barred a dual manifesto of sexual exploration. I Hate My Races and Power co host of Decision Decisions Mandy B and Re Anyways, y'all make sure y'all get that on pre sale. You can get it wherever you purchase books, Amazon or the things Simon.

The shoes look isn't here. Lies.

Lies do not listen to lies. And when I was getting sucked and my way showing the book like this, because this is just a mock up. Look at the back, it's empty. You're like, the book looks prettier than this guy's gosh, I like attention to details. They're gonna be like, damn not. The whole back is just nothing. No, they didn't even see that whole They did if they watched it on the video way and when I was getting

We'll see you motherfuckers next week.