EP 391: Single By Choice

Guess what decision we're about to make. Horrible decision.

Hey guys, welcome to another episode of horrible decisions.

I'm your girl, Mady B and I'm race Face.

Oh okay, come on AKA Mandy.

The second they put them on, I was like, take it off. You can't do that would have been what. The third time, I was like I don't like it and she was like, you just gotta get used to it. Whatever.

So the first two the first day I cried. I was like, this is I'm ugly, Like, this is not I'm not cute at all. Then this is so fucked up. I hope he doesn't see this because for some reason, my man is starting to click on horrible.

I don't know why, but get him out of you. Block you is the whole ip.

But if I couldn't, okay, So this is really why I don't want to say nothing.

He was like, baby, you look amazing. This is so cute.

I told you this better than this line's gonna perfect you. You're gonna be so happy, like it's such a vibe. Blah blah blah. Don't care. Still crying. Go in the morning to the charging station. This dude is staring at me. He said something, oh, who did your who did your paint? I answered him. He's like, the racist look good as fuck on.

You, girl. That's all I need? Oh god, why is it a random nigga can't do that? What is it about random man and give you a comment? And random people who.

I'm telling you you don't want no compliment from your nigga, but you try to do.

But he had to tell me that.

For example, I put on an outfit, I feel fat, right, I you a good baby?

Okay boom. I go on the train and girls like yo, that shit look fire on you.

Ooh very I should curry of you, y'all y'all, no, no, no, no, no, not you start.

Like aleisken bitch.

So Aisha Curry got drug a couple of years ago because she talked about like kind of feeling undesirable or less desirable with Steph but kind of just wants the attention from outsider sometimes to feel beautiful. Oh yeah, bitch, moyther, fuck you want attention from other niggas over your husband.

You know.

I don't really think it's that you don't want the attention from the person you love. I think when a person owes you nothing. It feels oh my god, shit, this must be real. For example, all of the love I have I received from a few main sources my parents, my boyfriend, and my friends. Then Nina, if someone random pays me a compliment, it does kind of do something for my egos slightly.

I also women.

I also think that a compliment given depends on where you're at in your mood, because I feel like, if you're feeling ugly and you get that compliment at the right moment at the right time, cool, if you are like in maybe whatever other space, like, it goes to where we where we say, what is it? It's a it's either a compliment, it's it's flirting or harassment, like I think it Also, I'm not talking about flirt I'm talking about I think it depends who gives it to you.

Right when that's fair.

To me and a compliment if they talk about, yeah, you'll fit your hair, like bitch that hair, Oh my god, I love that. Like I'll take a compliment on a part of me, but not holisthetically.

Honestly though, and not literally.

I remember one of my friends told me I always compliment a girl on her fit because it's the way to break them down out. So maybe that's why he did it. Who cares, But it did kind of just feel like he had no idea. I just got these braces yesterday.

You know what I'm saying. So I will say a few things they.

Made me realize, like to appreciate my beauty, Like there was a moment where I caught myself putting on like actually my man called me out. He was like, don't be putting on more makeup because you hate your races. Oh and I actually caught myself doing well already. He already told you he don't like make a period. He said you in a mirror too long, That's what it was. But he was like, don't do too much just because you feel and to hear all these braces like don't

This and that.

So yeah, it just took me time to realize. I got appreciate myself. And I really think a lot of us don't take steps for improvement because we're worried about the ugly phase. So I would say the braces is one of them for me. Like even when it comes to hair, right like a lot of my homegirls are constantly wearing wigs or styles that are damaging their hair instead of getting through that ugly growth phase, you know what I'm saying, like instead of protective styles or just

I'm like, babe, but when are you gonna fucking em?

And then if she want to cut it off, she cut it off and put a wig on while.

They grow out.

Not everybody feels comfortable to cut their hair. So that's what I mean by the in between. So I think for right now, the braces are eight for me. Were the in between? The only thing they did that I want to fight out about. I didn't know she was gonna shave down my teeth like there was in ears, bitch, Oh what the fuck is that? To make room for them to move? Oh I only let it get three? I said, Oh, yeah, I guess that.

Yeah, that does make sense well because also they yeah, they're literally going to be moving.

They need kind of room to move.

They need room to move, so they have to like shave them down like when ears and I was like, oh, you have to.

Stop, sorry, baby shark, you know.

And then when I was on live, people were asking me about it, right, and this ship made me like, oh my god, I can't believe they're looking at it. So I was talking about the steps they made and mad people were like, oh yeah, I don't remember them gaps before.

I was like, oh, so you see it. That's crazy people. They play way too much. They just be wanting to say any goddamn thing. But you know, I.

Will say I am happy about it, like because in this line was not working for me and the pain that I've been experiencing.

Small Dry got a whole four thousand dollars for me that I've never used.

I got the trade two and that was it. Get your money back I went bankrupt. Oh on your I think I did. Girl, I have my money back. Let me tell y'all how to get y'all bob.

First off, don't be out here like the people that was yelling Chase's name, And now Chase is like, no, lie, I'm gonna put your.

Time as a protection plan on certain cards, right, which me and you have the same one.

I think you're good.

Smile direct at a lifetime warranty and now they don't exist. So if I want to come there at any point in my lifetime to get my smile corrected.

I paid this four thousand. They give me all my money back. Oh I'll be giving them a call. Oh yeah, expeditiously. I think, yeah, No, you won't at all. No.

Uh uh trade for the left too? Well?

Okay, all right, all right, all right, uh I guess an update with me?

Uh, I don't know. I've been in a funk.

I think the move is like brought the most anxiety I've felt in a very long time. You should be excited, I'm not. It's it's anxiety ridden. Like I've been in New York for thirteen years, it's moving to a whole new state.

I don't know. I don't know. The anxiety that I have right now and leaving.

Is fucking insane. I just got the email like, will you be renewing the lease? I'm about to say, no, bitch, I've been in this apartment for four years now. I did two two year leases, So just the anxiety with that is out of this fucking.

World doesn't make you feel like you don't want to do it? Where what is your anxiety stepping in?

I don't know even when people are like, so are you really moving? And I'm like ninety three percent like cause I don't know why. I don't know what could happen to make me stay. Actually I do know if a nigga wanted to pay my rent for a year in a two bedroom here in New York, I'd stay.

I think you should.

I mean the second you told me you were moving in my brain and I know I have a bicostal brain right now because I've been doing it for three years, but I did think, oh, she must be getting a two bedroom with somebody here in New York.

Like you must be having like a space like no, I don't want a roommate. No, but you wouldn't live here.

So in my brain I was thinking, like, you must be having like a place here, No for what because you have.

I have a discount, I have a discount on Marriott, and I got a lot of friends here the way, I wouldn't have a spot here like to me, I'm literally looking to buy a home, so just financially, that doesn't make sense. For me to be spending one hundred thousand dollars on rent when I'm trying to buy a house.

I didn't think you'd be spending one hundred thousand dollars.

I mean, if I even spend two thousand dollars a month here, that's twenty grand plus maybe another Like okay, so maybe not a one hundred thousand, but sixty thousand doll rent in a year doesn't make sense when I'm looking to buy, when I'm investing, when I'm thinking of, okay, in the next three years, what i want to do, Like I'm really thinking long term on just a lot of things in my life right now, and I'm just like, yeah, that doesn't make sense for me.

I want to come back. I don't know.

Dating right now just doesn't make sense. I mean nothing makes sense to me right now in life. Like I'm in just a very weird funk, Like I hate people I'm.

Dealing with, Like I accept you guys at pay on the Patriot No.

Like I literally like want sex and then immediately after I want it, I'll go to text Nigga and then if he don't respond in four minutes, I'm like, I really don't even want this nigga, like I don't want nobody. It's so crazy. I thought of the one nigga that I talk to every day. I'm like, well, I'm excited to see you, and he'll be here this weekend. But

Like I don't fucking up, Like I hate it about your friend.

Yeah, like so, and he invited me to Doubtless, He invited me to Tokyo, like and I'm just like, I was just with you, monigga, like so to know, like I'm not going or spending time with people because I'm in this funk right now. I'm like, I don't want to miss out spending more time with people because of this mood, and I don't know how to get out of it. The anxiety of moving is fucking me up.

Laughs, all the good moments.

And then immediately I'm like, bitch, get the fuck out of it, like because he, like I know the psychology of what that relationship really was. And I'm like, bitch, are you are you fucking stupid?

I don't think what you're doing is like something that we.

I'm upset, ye, but I'm upset that I'm even thinking about him, But I'm thinking about specifically all the good moments, all the good moments that I questioned if we're even real because he was such a fucked up.

Like individual overall.

Then I'm just like, bro, bitch, you out here depressed, anxious about to make this move, like really shaking a move, and we got some dope shit coming for you, and you think about this, nigga.

So I'm literally do you know this episode? I actually feel like nobody is.

Oh, we'll get we'll get to that. We'll get to that, you.

Know, when you were crying, always thinking of something that Vinnie said to me. So, one of Vinnie's friends mom just got sick, and I was like, damn, dude, can you even be there for her right now? Because of what actually it's one of his family members, because of what you've been going through. He was like, Yeah, what's happening to her right now? In her pain is at this age, it's the first time of her seeing the

And it's such a weird thing.

And I just walked in the studio and told you Brionda lost someone today and I was like, oh my god, Like it's so heavy, it's such a it's such a horrible thing to think about. But what we have to be rightful for and honestly pushing through and keeping busy is a great way I think to deal with grief.

Like for me, you have to sit through the feelings.

But sometimes I found myself finding ways to blame myself in a selfish way, for example, like I don't do this enough, and I don't do this. I'm like, why am I not doing this xyz? And I was like really pushing myself down because someone else died, when in reality, I know that person's life and how they were and they wouldn't have valued that in me. So I think a lot of times when we're grieving, we've got to remember the person that we love and how they would

I think it's also.

I don't think I had lost up until this point, someone that I was just with and someone who literally passed on a trip I was supposed.

To be on. So it's like, I think it's I think it's that.

I think it's just another life experience, honestly, and I'm just like, oh shit, like this is something I've never experienced before.

It's weir to a virus. Go thing. Yeah, you know my cousin you met, Sureif. I hate that. I'm crying too, because I have some jokes for this fucking episode.

I'm like, so like, fuck, bitch, stopped crying like you've been crying for the last week.

Sureif was supposed to start work on The Twin Towers on nine thirteen.

So it's funny. Did you see the story virus?

Because not that it's funny, but in Mariah Carey's book, this is why I gotta get off the internet.

I just be reading random shit.

Apparently Mariah Carey's glitter dropped the same day of The Twin Towers, and this bitch was gonna get to work late because she wanted to go get Mariah Carey's thing and the Twin and she worked at the Twin hours and literally she was like Mariah Carey saved my life. The blueprints dropped that day. Apparently, wait it, what's crazy is it was a Tuesday. And I only know that because my mama came and pick me up.

She was man. She she left with too.

Why you because I up from Oline, But I'm gonna hold you. And apparently it wasn't like Michael Jackson and Prince. There was a huge Michael Jackson concert the night before at the Garden that no one ever talked about because of nine to eleven or it was supposed to be all nine to eleven. Bitch, I don't know these fucking rabbit holes on the internet. It's only what makes me happy. I've gotten away from watching puppies and kitten videos and now I just be reading these weird ass but did

Is really fucking weird.

You need you need a good When I say distraction, no girl, My distraction is about to be I'm about to get I'm about to become a streamer, so y'all couldjoin me. I'm about to become a streamer. Hold on and guess what video game I'm about to play for the people?

Silms and so I'm about to hold on.

I'm about to make a little a sex club, strip club. Gotta have a clinic because the niggas got to get tested. I heard that's how they. My friend told me, girl, make sure you have a medical center, because she said, my friend got on it and it was free at first. Then the niggas already get sick and he had to put his card down to build a hospital. I said, bitch, a clinic gonna get up, built up.

But then I was like, let me just say this, then, don't don't do this. Don't do this. Mandy is about to play videos hold on, but only because that's why it come for me.

No, no, no, But the way I'm gonna do it is I'm gonna voice the people. Look, I'm gonna have a whole family, and guess what, I'm gonna make it the reality that's real. I'm gonna make sure this nigga, the husband got a whole family at the end of the block too.

So i'ma voice them niggas and talk.

About and show you all how these niggas be living two lives at once.

It's gonna be if you started dating a nigga.

Played sims No no, no, no, no, no, no no. I'm not gonna date a video gamer. This is gonna be a job for money and storytelling. It's gonna work on my storytelling skills.

Now, what if someone needed that job to help as their hobby with.

Okay, one moment, I don't want to if there's a video gamer that's making like, I ain't gonna hold you.

I'll take a little.

Yeah, that nigga be stream, that nigga. Duke Dennis look good, bitch, bitch. I just followed him and I was like, let me make sure he of aged first, because he little stream is young.

You looked up his age too.

I was just like, nah, I'm him. But it's crazy. I've been like, oh, it's Duke.

Kind of.

Maybe Duke seals with me? What games Duke Dennis bee playing? And you know what, we hold on, hold on because he might see this clip. Let me wipe these tears.

Well, you've never had a streamer on. I think we should diversify our guests have no.

No, no, no no no no no no.

No no no no.

We already we done talked about other people to come on the pot. As soon as I know, I'll give a nigga some pussy, he can't come on the pot, so he got to turn me out right now, Duke Dennis could get some pussy, so he's not welcome on the show.

I don't mix business and pleasure.

Now, if he gets a girlfriend, then you can have them all, because I ain't. I ain't sitting here having niggas cheat no more.

He plays video games. You don't like that he get.

Paid though, maybe he get paid Okay, yeah, no, no, no, I'm cool with that.

I'm what do you think about the new era of like I don't know, like the whole Elliott Wilson coment. You know, we love Elliott like people not fucking with kay Sanat Like I feel like a lot of older journalists like don't like that shit. And I kind of be honest, like I kind of love I don't watch any kind of streaming, but I kind of love seeing kids this young.

So all I know is I was setting up my little Twitch account the other day. Kai is the only person I follow right now. Then that nigga went live, I said, okay, let me see what I'm about to get myself into.

So I joined his.

Live bitch four minutes in He's like, I'm giving a hundred thousand dollars away this stream. I said, oh yeah, let me get my ass up in here, cause niggas just given a hundred thousand dollars away.

Okay.

I mean in terms of that, I think I've gotten to the say, like, I think it's a as old as time, Like the same way our parents didn't like our music growing up, and now we don't like kind of the music dropping. To me an older journalist who maybe had to go to school and had to get a degree and had to work their way up and climb their way to a certain galaries, you know what I mean, it's the same thing. So I think the journalists right now are like, this isn't real journalism happening.

But these people may think that they're trying to do real journalism.

I mean, but I think that's why the journalists are mad, because they're getting the interviews that the journalists want, Like Nigga, how the fuck you sitting with Nicki Minaj.

And Harris to go up there. I don't believe that she and her team contacted.

I don't think so either, But I'm not gonna hold you. I do not care at all.

To see a Kamala Harris sit with Aka Sanat, because I thought it was completely awkward that redacted Minaj seemed really out of place because she's late into her thirties sitting with a twenty one year old Like it.

Was just strange. It was strange to me.

Kevin Hart ken Herd made sense. But they're they're boys, They're they're comedians. They were doing like a grown ass woman sitting with a twenty one year old boy just doesn't make sense to me.

Yeah, but Speedy Iss would have said, And then that's the thing.

Kyle Sanat also said, like I don't give a fuck about politics. What the fuck they sitting together for?

To be honest with you, though, I kind of think he doesn't need to give a fuck about politics, Like I think that's the point, like humanizing these politicians. Like Charlotine's been talking about Kamala a lot, and I think everybody's like, oh, he's getting paid, but he doesn't really Like they don't realize, Like she been talking about Charletne.

Every when she came on to the Breakfast club, ye.

Know, but like there's no and she went to South Carolina and like that whole thing about the greens and the airport, like she told that story two or three years ago. So of course he gonna pipe up somebody that's his girl because he knows.

How she is. Yeah.

I literally said to charlat Mane, I feel like because so many black men are out here like supporting Trump, I was like, I don't know why they can't connect with Kamala. I think they really It shows how much men like Charleston White like just don't respect They don't respect women. I was like, if Kamala ever said the word nigga in front of you, just slip and tell the story.

Oh, I ain't gonna hold you. I ain't going to hold these niggas. I think people need to know.

No, listen the other the ship. A couple of weeks ago, the internet was an uproar. Mind you, they didn't catch the whole fucking conversation, but the whole internet when it gets me because I had an opinion about Meek Mill not being top three anything, and I was like, whoa, like roaches, who the fuck new Meek Mile had this many supporters.

The niggas came out to goddamn whyn't nigga said they were a supporters, bro I said name but the oh yeah, he invited me to his concert. He said that. He said, uh, we're gonna make sure you come to my next concert. Maybe I was really surprised you made that. But again, you're going three No, no, you're going off of a clip. But that's my point, y'all. Nigga's upset. No, you were saying the thing about five songs.

No, but the whole conversation was there's a big three, there is Drake Kendrick Cole. The conversation, since these motherfuckers don't want to look at a goddamn full context of anything, was outside of this big three.

If there was a big three of the blog era, who would it be?

They the previous week decided it would be Walle, Big Sean, Meek Mill I said, I'm here for Big Sean being on it, said I hate what Kanye did with the Good Musical. I'm so fucking lutely. Then I said, walla makes sense, wailea. This is blog era, so eight, it's about twenty fourteen. We're talking about a specific time. So then they said wall a Walle. At one point was bar for bar damn near with Cole like Wailea is fucking phenomenal. Meek, I said no for a few reasons.

But I'm like, two Chains are whiz wiz turned niggas.

Like not only we smoking weeds, from smoking he's from Pittsburgh, but smoking well smoking weed.

Well they just said, not representing the western East coast. Well he's well Pittsburgh.

But no, wait wait wait, So I said, wait, wait, wait one moment, one moment, and then I put two Chains Atlanta.

I said, two Chains had a way bigger run at this time.

His features Two Chains to me is so I just named two other people like, but I think that those two people had a bigger run during that time.

I mean, I only think your comment about five meet Meal songs with you, So that's where?

So that was you a potter, And I'll be honest with you, No, me and my friends are not naming fucking five meet Meal songs, Dreaming, Nightmares and Amen, going Bad, sharing locations, Rico fucking tupax back.

I just listened to on the fucking train.

Okay, Bro, No, we said besides dreams and Nightmares, said Amen and Drake.

Theaters hold on. So that's what I said too, but in the full context, in the in the full context, I said.

That, like, if you even look on the streaming platforms, of his five top songs, three of them are features, two of them are Drake features.

Bro Drake on any on any song over the last fifteen years is you're gonna know it. So anyways, that was this is not a music pod, but.

I'm just saying because then I think people probably didn't fuck with that take because you comment on hip hop.

No, but no, people didn't like to take because it was clipped up into a sixty second way to get you to respond, And the full context was listen, I don't hate the guy, but he's not top three, big three nothing especially no, maybe top three of Nicki Minaja's fucking boyfriends, which that's not to say much she dates, Like honestly, I don't even think I don't even know she's three she's top three one of Nicky's nick I really like me. That's crazy. But that's the thing me

Nah. So no, this is the analogy.

I know what you're saying, because you're saying like, just because I said one better than.

The other people should have been top three. It wasn't even a better thing.

We're talking top three within the blog era. Like this is why I say context me ship. My argument isn't that Meek Mill sucks, isn't none of that. It's that within that those six seven years, I would put Wiz and two Chains over Meek and that I don't think Meat makes a top three or Big three anything.

He doesn't. Y'all can still like him, y'all, Caul name ten songs.

I still don't think within the hip hop realm that Meek is him and what I found crazy and all of that can be.

True to.

Meat got them yeah on one song that you know he yell okay, whiz bro Wiz turned niggas into fucking Steelers fans. You feel me, he say, we made we cool before that shit started becoming legal.

You feel me.

Anyways, I want to get into our vanilla shit because y'all know that I was swiping on that dating app that got Weezya foursome and me and threesome.

But I wanted to get into all of these other sexualities that.

I saw in there, because where we talk about the alphabet community and the lgbt Q, I a plus plus plus. These are I guess some of the other pluses. And I ran into this one specifically, and I was like, well, what the fuck is that? So then I ended up googling so gynosexual is Oh my.

God, were you watching ninety Fiance?

No?

I wasn't. I just told you this is from the day to app. Bro. I just learned this word yesterday. I know, I just learned it last week. It was on ninety day Fiance.

Oh they got a dude on there before the ninety day who basically is like, yo, I'm not gay, but I'm so That's that's why this word. I was like, well, let me look this up because what the fuck do this mean?

So I said, because g in the LGBTQ was gay, and I'm like, I heard of a kind of.

Sexual Wait, let me tell you what he said to see the matches, Okay, I mean I literally watched this last night. So what he said he said, He's He's like, I'm not gay, but but attracted to femininity. So that's what they say. And I like women with penises, wow, but if the penis has a manbody all on. So, gynosexual are individuals who experience sexual attraction towards.

Women, females, and or femininity.

Regardless of what they were, regardless whether they were assigned female at birth. So this is why so many of the men that I know that are into trans women still identify as straight.

But this is actually what they are.

They're gind of sexual gynologist niggas. Maybe you a motherfucking ghando sexual and.

You over here talking about you heteroid? What did they say on ADAM twenty two? Hom homosexual axally a gynocologist listen.

So then it made me get into other sexualities because I don't know if I really got into it on here, but I when I went and got tested for everything, I'm like, I know, y'all be dealing with niggas who'll be lying but these niggas be honest with me, and I was like, let me get on prep because niggas out here slaying that thing. So anyways, I wanted to get into more of the sexualities that we have not even really discussed, and maybe we can dig deeper in on another topic.

So on another episode. So phrase.

Sexuality, also known as ig not a sexuality, is a sexual identity in which people experience a strong attraction to strangers and less attraction to people they know well. Which makes me think of even what you just said about the compliment, like they'll be in relationships, but their attraction comes to the idea or.

I'm so fright.

Sexuality is yeah, people experiencing just stronger attractions to strangers than the people that they actually know. Qpio sexual refers to an individual who does not experience sexual design but still wants a sexual relationship.

I feel like this explains all my friends.

All my friends recently have been talking about how they want relationships but they don't really care for sex. They know that sex has to happen, but they feel like sex is a chore, which is why they feel like something right with me up here, because they're like, bitch.

How the fuck you enjoy sex so much? Oh, I've been experiencing the same.

Like yeah, so then and then the last one is a bro sexuality. Uh ab abro he bro a bro sexuality, sexual people of all identities who are romantically or sexually attracted to more than one gender, people who are sexual, people who are abro sex No, because you can there's more than just everything bias to pan So this is where I was like, how is this different than pan sexual?

So I looked it up.

People who are abro sexual freely choose different romantic and sexual partners or no partners at all. So you a, I think I'm abro bitch.

I was looking into this. I might be a bro like I I like, from hey, bro, bro, I'm a hole. I'm gonna say something real right now, and I mean it don't be problematic. I'm gonna say, oh well, I'm gonna get more problems exactly why the Republicans hats, why it's too much? No, it's not. I think this is m not stop it.

This is why I went down the rabbit hole because I've been wondering what bucket I fall into, because.

Sometimes you should have thought bucket could just be like, oh, I'm gonna hold you. I was with, are you're richer, you broke? I'm somewhere between.

We don't need a title for it, like elis kidnight name Like this is too much now, but.

It's how other people want to also identify you, because I feel like I'm deeper than By. So I've been I've been like, ooh, I'm queer. So I went out with At and Crystal and they say, bitch if you say queer one more time, and I was like, but I'm queer because I'm not just by, I'm queer and Crystal was like, bitch too much.

But me, I heard we're talking about.

Heart dynamic A sane with his gay ass. We just he was gonna come, So we talk about this shit. So I might do a deeper episode with a sante. So speaking of queer, I've been getting into the queer terminology and I just want to educate the audience.

This is not it's just like a family tree.

Well this is no, no, no, this is me updating for safety reasons and for for shifts and gigs. So updated queer terminology. This one is for safety. So they there is a word now being referred to as Tina,

The capital T is tina.

And so if someone's asking you a party with a capital T and your DMS, nine times out of ten.

They are looking to do meth with your ass. And Vinnie found that out the hard way, and that's what I'm saying.

So this is I think it was like I think I've heard of this like when I say, maybe more than five years ago, but a lot of Grinder terms like there's a.

Whole glass, I want to go through the glassory, Yeah, but the Tina is like a big one. Well, and it's funny because it was big for the whites, for if you were dealing with the whites, but now it's getting into the with the black gays or just being.

All black people do as many drugs as white people. They just throwing it in your face. But the thing that's interesting about Tina. When I heard it the first time, I thought, because I think it was Rick Ross setting this on something about moving Christina and he was talking about cocaine.

I thought any white girl name was cocaine.

Oh, I thought Christina, Crystal mess Oh, well, Christine, Chris, it should be Christy.

It's too much. It's all I know is Molly, and that's why I'm trying to be around.

Well, I want to bring up another thing that's happening in the queer community, and this is gonna lead to our hoar dirt.

Okay, So you familiar with the term Mona Lisa? No, oh, bitch. That's why I put it in the outline because I wanted to surprise you. If y'all had to guess.

Damn, y'all ain't miked up. If you had to guess what Mona Lisa meant? What would you think it means?

Is it kenemine that you're saying on the drugs?

Oh?

I thought that's the point. It's a little different than that. So hilarious. Y'all know. I follow all the guys, the gays on Twitter. It will forever be Twitter. Fuck elon. So Mona Lisa is the art of painting and shit, bitch.

So let me tell y'all how I went down a whole thread. And this is where y'all can't cancel me because this is what they be talking about. So this guy talked about fucking a Mexican bottom, and apparently there is a stereotype about Mexican bottoms, and it makes sense.

The tacos, the rice and beans, the hot sauce.

Apparently they are known to ship on dicks because they just are Mexican.

This is my favorite clip of all time on Twitter or not Twitter, Instagram, anything. I want to interview this dude one day. What do you say you've seen this? It was the first time where I'd really heard someone talking about painting and shitting, but they were. Now they call the person he's interviewing right away. The first you're gonna hear talking his white man.

Out in prison as a BO T C O M. How do you clean out in prison? You don't in prison, you don't really clean out, so you would what you would have to do is star of yourself for two or three days. So everybody knows Tuesday is what you call chicken to be mad, I mean for real, But you know what they were freaking in there, freaky bab like they.

Wouldn't they wanted the paint on them.

Mm hmm.

Just that that a man. I want to interview them so bad.

The conversation right now about painting the whole thing. So I wanted to talk to you all about not painting.

Uh.

We is gonna keep it clean over here.

So the wardrve uh for this week is about antal training. I do want to just give you the quick four steps of antal training. Of course, the first one is cleaning it up so you can douche also uh and a lot of antal training kits.

There is like a douche thing.

What is it like? You know the little things that they be using to get the little boogers out the kids noses. It looked just like that, but you fill it up with water and you're supposed to just splash it up into your boota hole.

It looks like like a turkey baster, just like that.

So you kind of put the tip in your ass and just put some water and let that ship fall out into the toilet.

Then you want to lub it up. This is for anal training.

So this is if Yeah, this is so that you could get the boot hole ready then you lub it up. There is also in anal training kits which I just got one. That's why I know all the little tools. Uh, there are lube injectors. So if you feel like maybe you're not getting deep enough into the rectum, there are now lube injectors that.

You just kind of it's like a syringe.

You put it in your little boodhole and then you push the lube up into the bootohole. Then you choose your butt your your butt plug size. This is what you want to do to widen up your boodhole, to get it ready to take some dick.

Now.

I did look this up because it was a question I had because it's something where I be thinking I'm getting ready. They do say that you should not have a butt plug in your ass for longer than thirty minutes. Not sure why this is what the internet said. This is from love plugs dot co UK because I was looking up like can you sleep.

With a butt plug? Can I go to dinner with a butt plug? How long can his butt plug stay in?

And they say thirty minutes max for the butt plug in yo ass. Now, the hoardurv that I have for y'all if you're into using a butt plug. I did this a couple months ago and it was really sexy, and so I just wanted to.

Share what to do. So you then bubbles in a three yo shut.

The fuck up, So I ended up doing I love the jewels, like the bedazzled butt plugs where it looks like my little bootle hole is a diamond.

So I had that in because it looks good Darren backshots. And so my tip is, after you.

Give him the visual of the butt plug in your ass and he does it, turn to the side, make sure his dick stays inside of you. And this is where you also talk to him like did you like fucking me from the bank you side? So while he's doing that, say you want to feel something, and literally, while he's in y'all, pussy, y'all, why then, yo, pussy, grab the butt plug and slowly pull it out. He can feel it because your rectum in your vagina is

You feel that?

No, no, no, no, this ain't no ship, because you done did the other steps to clean your baint all out ship.

But you know as well as I know. Whenever you pull something out finger, No, it's a little bit of shitty feeling.

No, no, you're telling me. Whenever somebody exit you action, don't think about shit. Well, so this is so, this is what you do after you slowly pull it out.

First off, you're not supposed to think about that ship because then you're gonna ruin the moment.

So what I did do hold on so you ready?

So what I did do is after you pull it out, Oh you feel that, you feel like you Philip coming out on your deck, the bitch, I throw it across the room.

Ain't nobody see what was on it? So if anything was on it, I'm gonna deal with that later. Smart pulled it, bitch through that ship. Heisma war bitch across the room.

Nobody saw it. So if you got shipp on it, I'm gonna wipe that shit off later.

But not in the not in the mix.

And you don't want to keep it on the bad because if there is shit on it, then there's gonna be shit on the sh chocolate me.

So that's my HORDERR. That's my tip. Uh getting to the horrible decision.

I love that you have a different outtake on this, so I wanted to choose this specific by choice.

Well, can I introduce the goddamn Typing Girl? It's a title little episode. Well, I wanted to bring.

It up specifically because the internet right now has been talking about not only the doctor who sat with Kim and Nick Cannon. They've recently destroyed Tracy Ellis Ross and I think maybe once a quarter they come after her, questioning if she's really happy being single. But also I came across a recent article and it's actually old. I didn't know this happened so long ago. But Maya, who has been performing and being seen on many festival stages lately looking fucking amazing, married herself.

So you ain't knowing. I don't even know what you're talking about. Maya the singer My love is Li whoa mine? She married? She married? Oh, in a whole bitch. She has wedding pictures. Let me bitch in a whole ceremony on a beach. This how did we miss it?

This is why I said, wait a second, Maya married herself. I want you to see the wedding pictures. Maybe we can have them pull up bitch and she's She explained the reef.

Don't do this. Don't do this, goddamn faith.

I know we talk about the women that get on their knee to propose to a nigga. This bitch said, I'm gonna put the ring on my own finger, be on the beach. Glham was glamoring, and she married herself.

So I really like Maya and like the feelings that I have about this.

So she married herself in say show uh two months, Oh well this is this was in twenty twenty actually, so four years ago.

You been too much going on. That's why we missed no, That's what period the world was ending. That's why we ain't. No.

So she married herself and pretty much expresses that this is what makes her happy. She was like, she figured she had made let me see where the fuck I want to get her exact explanation to marrying herself. But anyways, I see all that to say, she has talked about being celibate. She has you know, been by herself, and I want to talk about if being single by choice is really as liberating or as much of a choice as we are currently talking about it being. I also

Shout out to j T.

She said, as someone who is not single by choice, I have a perspective to add to this conversation. When looking at the definition of choice, it is, in fact, and that's why I love. I wanted to bring up the definition. It is, in fact, an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities. So if you are not faced with two or more possibilities, are you really making a choice?

She said.

I'm twenty eight from Kentucky in nursing school. All of my white or other race colleagues were married by twenty three to twenty five. As a black woman who desired a black man, my options were very slim. A lot of them were either interested in other races exclusively, jailed, murdered, gay, etc. So that leaves for every one black man, ten black women looking for love. And I wanted to read this

To choose it. It does have to recip choose. You completely agree. That's why.

That's why I wanted to read this one too. Single by choice is not real explain that we can stop.

So when I've been single by choice, and I'm putting that in quotation marks for people that aren't watching, it's because I wanted to stop dating for that moment. Okay, As somebody that has seeked out partners before and one of those relationships to work, I am clearly not single by choice. If my relationships would have worked out and we're prosperous and we're great, I would not be single by choice. Like I didn't want to be single. That's

I would not be single by choice. And this is why I say that.

I've always thought it was bullshit when people say that, and I've had so many times throughout the term of this podcast. A lot of people tell me that I'm a pick mey right like Twitter, YouTube, whatever, even in my Instagram comments. And I think it's because I have a lot of relationship girl energy. I always have, but it's because I'm very open and comfortable with saying I love companionship now. I was single the last two years because I wasn't finding people that were a match for me.

No, you wouldn't.

You're not gonna turn the person that's great for you away. You are single because of your options now, there's nothing wrong with that. I'm not even saying that to be shady. Just because I got a nigga right now.

Don't mean anything by that. I don't want to like I'm on a high horse. I mean, especially because that we have talked about it.

I think on Patreon where you met, if your ex boyfriend wasn't a piece of shit, you being with that nigga right now?

Yeah he wasn't shit though, Yes you know, but so. But I think that that's the problem, even you using the word perfect. I think that what I'm seeing for even my friends that are in relationships and not single. I don't know if I necessarily have the capacity, Like right now, I do feel like i'm single by choice a because I am figuring out.

Still what a relationship to me would look like. But I think it also.

I just also don't think I have the capacity to deal with an eight shit person. And I've said this on Patreon, and maybe this is my jaded as talking. Maybe I get better ten years from now.

I don't know.

I genuinely find people to be shitty, and I find it to be very difficult to coexist with someone who is living their life and trying to navigate and figure it out the same way that I am, to where it almost seems like another job.

But if you met someone, Mandy that had a lot better qualities than these last people, like you've been annoyed by a lot of the men you've dated, if somebody was.

Not annoyed by all the friends my friends are dating, Like, what do your friends have to do with you? Well?

Because when we're talking about how people are showing up right now, just overall, and this fucking podcast could be one of the things y'all blame too, even seeing the iterations of what's happening online and listening to what my friends are dealing with and going through.

I don't know.

I think I'm I'm emotionally and mentally exhausted, but I have very also little faith with.

Thinking someone can't show up.

First of all, whatever your friends are going through cut that out. People stay in situations they shouldn't be in. You've mentioned your friends have cheated, Like all of our friends are not perfect either. They all make mistakes. You don't know what your friends are doing in their relationship.

My point, people are shitty. I think they're doing shitty too. Don't let their situations stop you from faith in people. Oh bitch, the nigga's on my phone right now. I'm good, but I don't like anybody.

If they I So this is why I think the single by choice thing is a really thing, is a thing that sucks. I think by choice you can stop dating for a period. That's what I think you do when you say single by choice. Yeah, to me, there's no one that will choose.

Maybe, I don't know.

I think the bulk of people, if they could say I would be in a healthy, happy relationship with someone I'm comfortable with or like or attracted to whatever.

They would take it. I think you stop dating by choice, And.

I actually think that only comes from when you know you need a break, when dating has either become something toxic to you, something that hasn't worked out, when you need a reevaluation, or even when you need some fun. Hey, I was in a long term relationship it didn't work out. I need some whole years. That to me is a choice,

I do not believe this is even even the happy and healthy I think the same way you're single for a moment, A happy and healthy relationship is only for a moment. And I guess absolutely, I think that relationships. Have you really not met a married couple that's happy absolutely there Again, they're happy for a moment that it's healthy for a moment, and then life happens, Like I don't think a relationship this is why relationships don't last forever.

Most people in.

Relationships We've talked about this a couple episodes ago, will stay miserable for a long time in a relationship because they want to be in a relationship more than they feel like being single because of a what I think society like looks onto you as as a pressure specifically as a woman to bear children, get married, the same way I believe that having kids is a choice.

I absolutely believe being single as a choice.

But even the way that you umbrella certain relationships being happy and healthy, the same way you're single for a moment, I think relationships realistically are only happy and healthy at a moment, or for you.

Think people are not for a moment happy and healthy while single. I have a lot of.

Complain but I didn't, but I didn't say that, So no, but I'm saying that's my point. But but you could say that about relationships. But that's where we're comparing the choice. Being single has a lot of.

Dark moments too that we aren't talking about.

When it comes to holidays, when it comes to feeling feeling like you're being left out, when it comes to intimacy.

Nobody's going to convince.

Me that they're not equitable, Like I hate the I used to make the comment a lot of times, like yeah, I'm single, but and like I heard doctor Bryan doing that Cam marton Cam Newton thing. But at least Sian getting cheated on at least I got I only lived in a house and crying and dah da da da.

We always compare being single.

To not being miserable, and that's because we are so focused on thinking relationships are always going to be bad. Bro, it's not true. We've got to stop doing that. There are healthy relationships, and I think if we don't change that framework, we're always going to be ready for it to be painful.

Like I mean, I think because again I think getting in, removing ourself from Delulu, getting into reality. Relationships end work relationships, friendships, platonic friendships, romance like romance relationships, they all end, and so in order to end, it's because something went bad.

So this idea of a healthy and happy relationship, to me, yes, it is only at a moment. I think.

Then I'm speaking to maybe again the trauma. We talked about this on Patreon. I think, the constant desire to be in a relationship without working those things out. I don't know if I realistically want to ever feel the heartbreak that I just felt giving myself to someone that I gave to and I don't know how long.

That's going to take.

I know that I was in my relationship with this fucking narcissist for three years. But I have my mom and two other friends that also just got out of those relationships, and it's like, bro, the psychological damage as well as the heartbreak, you know, setting yourself up to be in another relationship, you're setting yourself up to feel that way again, like because not everything is gonna last.

But married, I'm sorry that you really haven't. I'll say this.

I can eaven three friends right now, and one of them is newly married. But Serena and Alan, my friend's been married I think maybe more than fifteen years. My friends for Nia and Eddie, I think they're at about twenty years, and she's my age even together.

This is high school.

And my homegirl Geila and Nick they just got married. And I only want to make this point. All of these women know shade to their husbands if they listen. Of course, have called me with an issue, right he's doing XYZ. My homegirl and Nia and I talk often. She's one of my closest friends. She literally complained about some of her husband the other day, right, she goes, girl, I would not trade him in. I'm just saying this, and I even am trying to hold myself back from

I remember.

I don't I remember who asked her the question, but she was like, you can't tell me you're happy every day. She's like, maybe not all day every day, but like, yeah, I'm happy every day. I do think there can be some happy relationships. I think we're on overload of hearing about bad stuff. And also I don't call my friends when my man does something amazing for me, mainly because sometimes I feel like I'm showing off. I think I said that a few weeks ago, like I don't want to say how happy I am.

He even tells me the Internet, y'all niggas not even the Internet like our own listeners. When I was in a puppy phase for the first year of my last relationship, niggas was like, ain't no way, ain't no way, And then I almost felt like there was happiness or some sort of way in which people felt like, oh, told you, bitch. Once the shit started going like this, it was like, yeah, this is what a real relationship was, but she was

I mean, here's the thing, Like, I don't want to be with someone of our it you're not supposed to be arguing. I don't argue with my friends.

I didn't agree with this will happen, right, And like, I think I know the difference between an argument and a.

Disagreement very and I think women don't have arguments to that level. Like I have disagreements, sure, but like I'm not like fuck you nigga, Like you know that's something that that's when we know it's toxic to.

Be honest with you.

Even though my relationship with ol Bay wasn't great at the end, I may have only had three real arguments and almost three years with him, everything was a disagreement. He didn't scream, we didn't yell when I found out. Even he cheated and excuse me lied the first time, it was still a disagreement. Like it was levelheaded talking you and I I really believe this. I can't speak for other women. The way that we run business in

No, I don't have it. I can't.

And so I think meeting your match will come to you and you'll realize and you start having healthier conversations with men. It's so tough right now because it doesn't matter if it was a year ago that nigga made that imprint for a long time, and like, even when you're healed, even when you date someone else, you're gonna

Like damn, this felt good.

Thank you if you're texting me in this with the way, thank you for letting me know you will have that same respect from a partner when you meet them. It's just we can't pretend that it's all bad.

Trust me. I know bitches where ansia niggas too, but it ain't all bad.

I think then we're gonna simply agree to disagree with this. I don't think being single is all good or all bad either. I think in both places you can be fulfilled in technically or essentially the same way. You can be just as fulfilled, happy, or unhappy in a relationship, and you can be just as happy, fulfilled or unhappy

You said a happy, healthy relationship.

There could be a woman who's happy, being healthy and being single without the addition to a man or woman being their romantic partner.

I agree with you only if that person isn't dating. So to me, that is the happy, healthy single by choice. When you start involving other people, I think that's when the threat of your single and is being happy happens, because then you're dating for what purpose?

If it's just sex, it's just sex. Cool.

We know not a lot of women can handle that. We start wanting more. So when you're starting to be single and dating, I then don't know if it's a choice anymore. I think complete being alone and being single is a real thing, with like spurts of little things here and there that you're having for fun. I don't know if you can be single and dating and it be a choice that. I don't believe what y'all think because we've been sitting here talking.

Damn we said, we said we'll fuck with the mike next next episode, will fobawly all the next.

Act because I really I feel bad to have this conversation right now because now my relationship is new. Right, it's been a year. We met last July. You know, I'm ann counted from when the Hinge.

Message on Yeah, now you're wrong, he claimed, yo yo days be all off. It's okay. We talked about it now.

I started from the her first hint message Hinge message July twenty seven, that Nigga's like, bitch, I really need a phone number.

Right, nothing. Yeah, that's not where I started. That's not when I started. That's not what it started.

But I don't well anyway, woman man, I said, girl man, that is girl math. I say that to say like it's hard because I don't like sometimes talking about single shit because I feel like it's very difficult because there's so many people in relationships that I see online that kind of punch down when they're talking.

They do.

And I was single because I wanted to be. But when I say that by choice, I only mean because I knew I was still healing. I think if I could have gotten over old Bay and his shit, I would have been super excited to meet someone great. Yeah, but it is a tough answer because eventually I knew I wanted a partner.

Eventually I know what my goals look like. That's why I don't know, I think, But that's I think.

That's where I'm in right now, this shit storm of knowing that I do not want marriage, knowing that I do not want kids, what I think identifying what a partner looks like for me?

Then?

Like and how as a woman in my thirties dating probably a man in his thirties or forties, how I find someone that aligns with those things?

Like?

So do I sit here and and have the Internet say, bitch you dumb as hell because you dating a nigga with eight kids, three baby mamas? Because that might be someone that works for me, because because hopefully he doesn't want anymore. Like so the things that I'm also seeing punched down on online is like, well, damn that might make sense for me? Does will it make sense for me too? I want to be a step mom, like

Maybe this could work and them not being on this ship. I don't want to deal with it. Let me tell you.

That's why I wanted my man to listen to that episode, because I was really like, I want you to hear this, because there are so many things, like I could tell you wanted to have a nice relationship with them, which is why I didn't go hard during the episode, because I had nothing to do with you. It's just, you know, at the same time, trying to be respectful to people you liked. But it really showed me like, oh, I don't want this. It showed me so many things about

Like, oh, bitch, I wanted to respond to it. You know, I don't think that bothered.

Me because bitch, me and her were talking, we were we were on like I was so much more involved with her.

I was showing I was only even allowed to show affection of her.

Fumblic you had more of a connection with her. I felt like I was surprised at how much I really enjoyed her.

That's why I was so upset to talking about No, I think I did.

But let's be very clear, I've also sat on this pod and said sexually, I want to be with a woman, romantically, I want to be with a man, which is what I felt like in that dynamic, I was going to be able to get both without crossing the boundaries for whatever they had going. Oh bitch, you said something right now, that's probably the reason she fucked with She she didn't know that, but no, but I think that would may have come to fruition.

But reading that comment.

Also funnuse you jump? Well it frustrated me. Well no, because that's what I'm saying. We then were bitch cheers thing. I had to do a pickleback shop for the first time. We went and got oysters. You had fun on friendship, right, So on a friendship level. Romantic no, but on a friendship level that was still there. I can still the way I show up for my friends. Let's be very clear,

But what I'm saying is, like you said, I wanted something sexual with a woman, romantic with him.

But that's all I was looking to date them as a couple, right, But I'm.

Saying they romantically, that maybe maybe there was more of a connection that you couldn't even see.

She didn't even want to be romantic or be called a girlfriend. She didn't want any to see at all. She wanted a unicorn, which is so to me. She wasn't looking for someone to love her show up as a.

Girlfriend actually talking about anything you did. By the way, No, no, And I get that. I'm not taking them saying this.

I find that there was a connection with you and him that you probably couldn't see. I'm saying that which she saw outside of the dog he's not dating. Well, there was a dom dynamic, but that's what I'm saying.

There's a connection. What you're saying right now is why I hate people took them. They all got their own little fucking tick.

But do you see what I'm saying now? They have their tics and traumas. But this is the thing.

This is in any relationship that you get into with anybody new, whether it's a couple, whether it's h E, M M, whether it's monogamous relationships, niggas are coming in with their own thoughts, traumas and don't know how to effectively communicate it.

I don't have the patience to deal with these nigs. I'm just saying.

When I read that comment, I took it like you did, like, oh, why would they say that? But then I was like, oh, the connection wasn't on Mandy. It was actually just what existed. For example, when Well almost said his name. When Old Bay and I would engage in threesomes, they were very just kind of like whatever. There was one woman we engaged with that was in her forties and he was in his forties, and it was the first time I felt so like disconnected them. Niggas had jokes, them, niggas

Do you know how fucking deep that shit gets for black men in interracial relationships like Mandy? I know.

And listening that shit right, there is a layer that people probably don't even realize, but you.

Did have a deeper connection with him now, so again, fuck people, but Dayton, fuck these dumb ass relationships. I ain't got time to sit here and go to layers with niggas, in they trauma or in they bullshit?

Is y'all saying nigga around her? I say, bitch, I'm trying to limit not you. That's how we talk. And my point is, you know, when he were heart you probably gonna be like, oh people, well no.

Because I mean, there was a joke that she's the nigga of Asia. She's Filipino.

I'm so tired, that's you know what I mean. No, but no, no, no, I get it.

I'm not giving I'm not giving anybody a pass to say nigga.

No but no, when Latinos love to do that, they do. It's too much going on in the bay. I'm gonna say it again.

No, we had the conversation having sex with Filipinos and there's blazons, because there's blazing the regular Filipino cousins.

I get it. Yeah.

No, at the end of the day, again they got the black I'm not gonna sit here and dissect even the disparities between ethnicities and cultural backgrounds when dating somebody like, I'm just I give up girl, Like right now.

I'm good. You wanted to top was good and you did. I'm not.

I'm good, and that be very clear. I let both of them know if they got on the same page, I would love to revisit. I have fun with them, but they need to they need to figure they shit out. We're getting the wrap up. I guess we went over on time. But y'all, thank y'all for tuning in to another episode. Uh, y'all, make sure you motherfucking subscribe to us on Patreon. That's patreon dot com back slash Hoard Decisions. If you want to watch us, make sure you subscribe

Drop in below the COMMENTY I want you to. I think more people will be on your side and mind no, no, no, no, no.

I don't give a fuck who's on my side because I don't give a fuck. Okay, I don't need size side because nine times out of ten you're a fucking hypocrite anyways, and you're not happy, So fuck you.

I don't need your opinion on my fucking life. Have a good fucking day.

I'll tell you what's about to happen real quick. You don't even just about to be like I am so happy with my boyfriend now, You're not a.

Bunch of people about to act like they face. I don't care. I really don't care about your Instagram. I don't care about I don't like it. Ain't given. I hate people right now. So there's that, all right, y'all. We'll try to give Andy some dick by next week, y'all. Oh no, I'm gonna get dick. I just don't like people. I'm gonna get dick. But because you ain't never ready, that's fine. I don't know when that we're supposed to go. It's given its bonus. Bitches is ready to go. It's

You gotta you gotta see you're just come on, be professional, bitch disgusting all right? Gross, well I'm back, holy shit, I only give you a COVID tests after that.

Gross. My mom hos COVID right now? Oh y.

If anyone has a friend that has COVID, they just don't know what to do with themselves. My mom was like, do you think I could walk around the block if I don't touch anybody?

That's what I'm saying, Like, bro, that's why, that's why I was spreading the way it was, Mitch. I think my mama waited till the exact hour that they said it was good. As she went to the club, I said, Mama not, I said, she went downtown it was drinking, and she stayed home for the five days.

And it was like, I've reached the fifth day, bitch, I'm going out. I've been in the house. I said, you don't know if it's gone yet. What are you talking about? Do you know when from two weeks to wait till you get a negative results?

And now it's only five days? But everybody five days differently, And I was like, you know what, I hate everybody girl speaking of downtown Orlando.

I have to go to a wedding. Do you remember James. He came on like one of my first episodes.

My friend James, who was in a call who met Vinnie yes because they went on a date, is now getting married to a woman that he's been dating for four years.

Who was an only fan who her name? Oh should I give it out?

I can't give it, but anyway, I wanted to bring up her OnlyFans because literally I was like, I've never been to an only fans girl wedding and if better be turned up, okay, so I want to say, And we're on Patreon, so I'm just gonna go ahead and say it.

So, yes, I've been actively speaking to just multiple sex workers at this point because I would assume that sex workers just have a different mindset of liberation, acceptance of things.

And one of my sex workers recently just had to block him on everything.

Because this dumb ass fuck nigga uh huh felt the way. By the way, seek this is not the clip because I don't need niggas thinking guessing at and I don't need to go deeper into this episode. Do not make this the goddamn clip on YouTube or clip anyways.

I I was so offended.

This nigga literally felt away and did not want to see me because I posted the couple the throttle. They lasted for only two and a half weeks, so because I posted them on Twitter and he saw that I was dealing with a couple, I reached out to him a little while after, clearly once I knew it was dead in the grass to see him, like, bitch, he lives in New York. He lives in another state, but would like to see you, bitch. I got miles, You got miles. We could fly, we could meet, we could

And he goes down this rabbit hole. I guess with me on how he was completely turned off.

By me having that couple or me having a couple, and he literally I told him he shamed me. He just me, he said, I'm not judging you, but it's what he did. He said, I was so turned off to see that she was out here with a couple like a man and a woman. Wow, I don't get it.

Hold on, let me keep finishing beating a bit ch. I'all don't get it either. Doesn't he know you date other people? Do you know? He said? In his mind had I hit him up and said, I need no bitch, let me. This is delusion. This is the delusion of men, he said.

Had I hit him up and said, I've been so deprived from dick that the only dick I want is his, that would have been fine, But the fact that he knew I could have and fuck whoever I want, both men and women, he said, whoa, you'd be outside fucking he and I was like, even though I don't just fuck anybody, he said, he was turned off and seeing that I was even I had.

The ability to date a couple and fuck a couple.

And he said, if I fuck anybody at this point in my life, I want my dick to be the only dick they want.

Huh, hold on the only dick that they crave, because that's what would make me feel good.

And I said, my nigga, right after I fucked you the last time, a week later, I had to see you fuck a bitch online because because so.

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