Guess what decision we're about to make.
Horrible decision.
Sorry, vibrate.
It's a library, he said, put your ship on the Gray Beach beet for fishing in a page.
It's my birthday week.
Oh, she said, you violent.
I'm gonna shut up. Why did you put this in front.
Of Honest, I think about it all the time.
That's crazy, now, you know what's she's kind of nuts. Now, I ain't gonna hold you.
When I when I said I wanted to hire you back, she was like, well, you know he's you know you nobody does right. And I was like, girl, anybody the girl, he ain't gonna punch us, know you did.
You were a little nervous.
No, it was your punch, isn't it. I kind of felt awkward because of orient mall.
Oh I didn't.
That made me feel awf They're not they know they're super chill. But I just meant, like, damn, we're gonna take it in right back.
Hell yeah the job that time.
But I was just like, and you know, it's funny because a lot of people don't maybe understand how it all happened, right.
How is yeah?
This is not going on the episode. No, no, we don't even talk about it.
Okay, Well, anyway, I definitely called Rory once that happening.
Y'all welcome to a horrible decision.
We got our producers on the line and tell you the t eden.
So I called Rory to hang out that week, and y'all know, I'm not on Twitter.
No one told me what happened. So I called Rory.
I'm like, hey, we're talking ship or whatever for like five or ten minutes. He's like, so go ahead, and I'm like what And he's like come on, and I'm like, what the fuck is going on. He's like, wheezy, like you're finding with me.
I'm like, I am not.
He's like, oh yeah, you literally don't be in the world. You got you in your own world.
I am, but you're not.
Once you're on Twitter, you're dealing with the Twitter spears of the bullshit, shit, crazy shit.
Let me tell you how like far removed I am. I got a call from someone I work with and it was literally like you need to stop doing and I'm like, what are you talking about? It was because Mandy and start ex co host we're beefing, and I'm like I was.
From that I thought you were talking about the other podcaster or the way every week and somebody you.
Don't be knowing what's going on. The only thing I did know, bitch, when you pulled out that laptop, and I know, so what's crazy?
As niggas swear i'd be beefing anyway, but it don't be beef with nobody. I just share my opinion and move on. But also I really love being petty. Oh my god, that shit make my pussy thump in real life, like my shit be like I'm like pet I swear to.
Go on it.
So you think you don't start it.
I started first off, freedom of speech. It's one of the amendments commandments.
What it's amendments. Fight you're right, bitch, get the fuck out of here.
Listen because when I moved to Georgia, bitch a bitch getting a little pink gun pupy. It's gonna be key you going on now, you're good, I mean, listen, the gun the gun about to be gunning.
Girl.
I had a phone call from a girl that I rarely hang out with, maybe once a year. I see her and she was like, girl, I can't wait to hang out with you when you and Atlanta. I'm like, I'm not coming to Atlanta. What are you talking about. I don't have any plan. She's like, no, I listened to this weekend. Man, he's coming to Wanta.
So that's crazy.
I said, Oh, first off, the fact that you could live in La and Mexico. But niggas think the show ending because I'm moving to Atlanta. I'm like, bitch, I'm gonna still be in New York. We're gonna make it motherfucker happen.
I aready may come from this. I think that could be fun.
I think I told you Earnier Leisure inspired me a little bit because they travel for episodes, like if there's anything that's close by.
I'm like, now we are touring next year. If I don't the least amount of times I have to get on a plane next year, No, I'm about.
To get back on Atlanta. To me, is traveling like it's I.
Go to La now because you're there, if you have to come to Atlanta. Yeah, I think we'll be open to more guest options. But I think the audience be liking these solos, so I think as long as we know fighting, hey, if y'all start seeing a whole bunch of guests.
Just know we're going through it, but.
We will come back. That's how feel about booty picks. If I post my ass, bitch, what the oh that mean you single?
That single? I mean I'm trying to fiss them off.
Oh and see, this is why I'm going to be single forever, because bitch, I wish the nigga.
Would, Oh, girl, you're not going to see here and.
Go straight to the internet and get the attention of folks because we because you're mad right now, Because I'd be like, go and then that's.
The problem too.
No, it's just fun, you know, so for me, So that's where I think should be fucking up with me, Like, I don't think I care enough.
So when niggas see that shit, don't.
Really phathe me, they'd be like, oh, but you don't even really like part of the game.
Yeah, I don't be caring.
Hate the player.
So I wanted to bring something up that I found to be interested in speaking of niggas, So I'm watching Love is Blind with my dude, right. The Love is Blind UK version, very very interesting one because there's a black couple on there and the girl that he chose to me, she a big girl, but she's definitely like curvy.
You know what's crazy about you saying whatever? You about to go?
Say so because they're casting in Atlanta right now. For Love is Blind. My homegirls was like, bitch, you gotta go on. Are you about to move here? And I said, are are we friends? My love is not blind? No, I need to see my life. Need to be down, bitch, I'm too shut up, a little bit blond.
Normally I say like, oh, I.
Being with a fine nigga.
Bro.
We went to the layout.
I can't tell you how many people stop this nigga to hey, I'm making a photo off. I'm doing this, I'm doing that. It does feel good again. But so something made me realize, oh, maybe I do have a little mandy in me.
Here's why she's got a.
Little mandy in you. Say it again, Say it again.
I didn't say I was eating ass. So here's the conversation we start happening. We watched Love is Lying and when the black dude saw the shorty, he was like, oh, she's fired. She's fired. So we didn't really believe. I was like, oh no, I feel like he wasn't feeling the fact. You know, there was another girl he almost chose, who's super fit. She even talks about how she goes to gym twice a week, and when he saw her, his reaction was intense. So we were like his love
really blind. And I said to him, you think if we were behind these walls, we would choose each other.
He was like, yeah, of.
Course, we would think about our first phone conversation before we ever met in person. We were on the phone for hours, like we really vibe with each other. I'm like, yeah, but if I was on it, it's because I feel like I thought you were fine and you thought I was fine. So we're flirting now because we know each other sexy. That's the basis of our first connection, right, I said, but what if there was a guy in
the pods on Love is Blind? That we have a lot of different opinions my man and I like, I said, he's like he's very wolfy in the sense that he's a hotep niga and I'm.
Not what if I men will do shaking his head kind of.
Had a different energy or was more like oh yeah, I'm all about this, or or like sex head and women's liberation.
Would I have been like, oh, we're so in alignment.
Would I have thought that was more of a guy for me, just because the fact that behind these walls, I'm trying to find.
Someone quote unquote compatible.
And I was like, Yo, if we would have seen each other outside in that honeymoon's face, like Nigga, we would have been wilding out.
Me and him are.
Really attracted to each other to the point, Mandy, and this is why I don't think love is blind. Well, we had a disagreement a few weeks ago. I tried to FaceTime him. He was mad at me about some shit. I no, really, I was like, come on, answer to phone.
He's like no. Later that week he told me he didn't answer the phone.
He's like, I can't look at you when we're in a disagreement because it makes me not focus on why I was mad.
I love you so much. I'm looking at you.
I care about you like I'm seeing you, and it's ruining even what I want to try to get on the table, Like I can't focus on getting through to the issue because I'm looking at you.
That's a problem. That was a problem.
That's why I stayed with my excellent bitch. I know this just because you're not baby.
Guess yes, when I tell you.
I was like, all right, this nigga line right now, and I know he lying because he's not a good liar. And I was like, but the god, damn he like the way I wanted to jump his fucking bones every time, the way I wanted to fuck him. I couldn't even be mad for long because it's like, damn he fine, okay, whatever, he ain't shit, but he fine, Like I like a financing, and what's crazy is only for so long. By the way,
you get ugly after. Like when I saw that nigga at the part, I was like, look, he's salmon ass ugly as shorts.
This nigga got on. I thought his outfit was ugly. I thought I saw everything.
About I said. He came, I said, the last year of his bit rough. He looking a little rough. I just didn't like anything about him. I said, oh, he looking every bit of fifty. Now he didn't look yo.
I hated everything, but that's because I had guys.
But while I was in the midst of it and really enthralled by him, his looks literally made everything blind.
I do think that by the love thing that's that's what I'm saying, love isn't blind because there is.
Love is blind to the bullshitrue, love.
Is blind to the bullshit. Let's be very clear.
The physicality of the conversation. You start to see somebody and realize like why you love them, and I think the attraction.
For example, right now, I talk about.
My dad being in a wheelchair a lot, and my mom and him are very playful about it. Right, But attraction isn't necessarily physical. It's spirit too, and it's something you have to see, and it's energy that you have to see. I say that because my daddy witchy, because he witchy. I'm not talking about myself. I'm watching this with my parents, right. They were together when my dad
was younger, more fit. He used to be a boxer in his young age, a cop and like all kinds of like military shit he used to do, so he had a fit body. As he's aging and more fragile, my mom is still very into him, and I'm wondering, like sometimes in my brain if she's being phony with him or whatever, And I'm like, oh, it's because you could still feel this thing with him when you see him.
He's making you laugh. You're looking at his eyes.
It's not just if they're fine, it's your connection to them, of course, and like that shit is so physical that I don't believe that those couples that like say they're falling in love and the pods like are in reality. Like ever, they're not in a real reality because at the end of the day.
Yes, someone can be amazing. You fell in love with a friend, bro, Yeah, that is the differentiation.
I mean, I think that that's a bit of the problem. When people get into relationships. They're looking for the perfect person. They're looking for someone that they have everything in common. When I do believe opposites a track, but in a way that could be like should be healthy though, Like me and my partner bit y'all know, he was a flatterther fucking all the shit and I loved just the constant conversations because we didn't agree on a lot of
things around life, but it made for excitement. I think also people constantly look for someone who likes every single thing that they do. I remember when King Noir was on here and he was like, I don't like pretty Ricky. So if we're in a relationship, I would love for you to go enjoy that with someone else go into it pretty ricky. I think so many times you look for we look for someone to like be everything we want them to be, or to be so similar to us that that's what I think happens.
And love is blind. Like did you see the did y'all see.
The one where it was like, wait, your granddad's named that, me too, your aunt is named that, me too, and yeah, just thought they were fucking meant to be together and not thinking that they were fucking really two of.
Them had specially needs fucking cousins and it was like, yo, but really, I'm not even trying to be funny.
Can you imagine.
Brother who's special needs and you meet somebody who also is going through the same thing.
You're like, oh my.
Someone will understand me. Yeah now, no, I'll do a family tree. You were just making me think something, figure this out, because baby, we might get together and have kids that end up like our cousins. You know when I noticed the biggest differentiation in myself and my partner right now, what my Florida shit, the nigga be looking at me like, bitch, you are a bird. Don't let no Kodak come on it. Look it's really embarrassing. He told me that in backstage in our show we were
playing Kaya. He was like, I looked at you like I cannot leave on Well you're out Florida, Florida's own. It really enjoy if I would have been on that show and met a nigga from Florida, Oh it's over. I'm probably going to match with you because I'm like, we shouldna say, git, you've grace fault. And as much as people say like, oh, you know how we change our voice out of that, when I go back to Florida, it takes me like a few days to get it out, like real bad.
Damn did that happen to?
You know?
Bitch?
I go down there and I'd be like what, I don't understand anybody like I'd be like, god, damn, this is would be talking about nigga, I ain't gonna hold you, and I'm like, yuck, but I don't like accents, And I realized, oh, it's very deep down here.
I you literally have it.
I don't sound like do you got me fucked up? When I go anywhere, they'd be like, you're from New York. But I think it's because I'm loud.
Okay, I do not sound do you know why people they don't sound like No, I don't sound deep like the thing we're from New York because the dressing is elevated. Okay, Like when you go to another spot in the States, you're clothes, you realize like, oh, like I got some more sweaty I now even when I'm in La, right the way that people know I'm not from LA or you don't.
Wear spandex, I was gonna say, it's.
Not it's not as leisure and it's not dead as You're right.
They wear leggings and ship, that's it, and they all.
Just you putting shit on that just kind of look a little different. You're almost like, does this not match? And in New York that ship is a vibe. The only thing LA girls do that New York girls do is a cargo pant and a crop tea. Because that's just bad bitch wear in the summertime. Yeah right, that's what all about. He's gonna wear in summertime.
Butter than that.
No, I's be knowing and I really appreciate it. Like Bruh and the niggas dressed the same.
It's cool because it's kind of sexy for l A like if you want to wear es centrals every day?
Cool, Like I get that to your do your.
Neutral the neutral. But I do like a little skater boy.
I like a little gate Actually, if I could put the Mexican style on a black man kind of like not Ocho.
What's his name?
He got his song Ochog that nigga be dressing. Okay, he got a swag to him with the dickies. He dresses like a Mexican is what you're saying, okay?
Or Mexicans.
He's just like you.
No dosetress quatro something, bitch? What is it in your d today?
I forgot what I forgot?
It's not it's the ot genesis nigga.
You mean, first of all, the song from I Think It's My Local.
That is a whole different song. That's not a whole different beat. That's why she just started saying something in Spanish.
Yeah, I forgot.
I'm not at him my hall pass list.
Y G is added to your hall pass list.
Yeah, it's probably a swag. Okay, right now, it's then which.
Is the one?
One?
Is? His name is m J. Whole different guy?
Anyway, I don't know him so to me all the niggas, wow y g okay, b.
I'm not gonna hold you whenever left right, let me see you do it. I'm like, okay, that's.
Just that's crazy. That is crazy.
I love.
Aesthetically like, he looks like what I want to pass and want to suck his dick from the back.
Now are you looking at him? That nigga?
Look you looking at him?
He looks like if you had these hills on, he may have to look up.
No, I don't think he's not short.
He's I actually think he's tall.
So you guess on his head five nine.
I'm gonna say six to one.
He's six feet okay, which means.
He's five ten and a half. No, no, no, he's not short.
They even know you think.
Away from Iverson is not even over six ft in the internet, say he's six to one. Go look and see how tay Allen Iverson is. Alan Iverson is lucky to be five eleven and three quarters.
Why do you think that is though? Because they be lying just says six feet and he ain't. If you five eleven six quarters, I'm giving you six.
No, Ai is not fucking six feet tall. I'm telling you, Bro, I'm five to one out have been in the same spot. Bro, that nigga used to be at the strip club every time when I lived in Atlanta.
He's six ft to you, No, he's six foot that he is under six ft.
I'm telling you he's not sure. I've seen him.
No, I've seen why you too. He's short to me.
I mean, okay, we have to understand that Mandy's parameters. Tall is very different. I'm like miniature to her. I can say no, essentially based off this math. Yeah, based off this math.
I'm saying that Normally, when niggas say he's six ft, it's two inches short.
Someone google helps tall Duke Dennis this did you want to put that, nigga?
Oh, he's already looked up. He likes sixty three. Duke dinnis like sixty three right.
To two inches?
Now, first bet you wouldn't say that about no Dick.
Yes, two more inches.
That's forty all, bro.
Two inches on a heel is a lot, two inches a lot, two inches on a human being is a lot.
Are y'all serious?
You wouldn't be tight. I just told Wolf I'll be tight. I lost.
There's niggas reason I take it. I'm not as shallow as you.
There are niggas doing their whole knees to get two inches.
I don't need to be taller. I'm good.
But that's what I'm saying. Y'all better stop acting like two inches in a lot?
Yes, girl with you.
Now, I'm just saying two inches of the difference between a cute heel and a kitten.
There's a difference, bitch. Let's talk about the inches here, all right.
Let me ask you a question. Right, A dude is six ' to two, but he also got a six inch dick. You could either lose one of the two inches from either side. Which two inches is you lose it?
I'm gonna keep the dick, is it?
Is it girthy?
It's a normal girl, and I'm my mandy on this one than two inches? Actually yeah, wait, he's six he's six.
Oh, he's six. He's six ft okay, six ft. He has got to go to the six foot.
So you had to lose.
From a six footer or two inches of dick from a.
Six inch So he's out of five ten or four inches either Way'm.
Gonna kick the dick, keep the dick six inch to me is not bad. I think six inch is really good. He loved when you went love to six.
You're gonna let me fuck out the niggas.
No, see, look that's crazy. That's the compromise.
I mean what, bitch, I want to be a little tall. Let me look up at you.
But he's gonna be five to ten over a six inch dick. No, man, bro, that's what I'm saying.
I'm a Napoleon complex.
I'm glad.
Yeah, I'm just saying, is not no point taller, bitch, I feel taller than what I really am.
I'm just saying, I'm like, okay, y'all being real judgy right now.
No, both would the she's losing the two inches height, I'm losing the two inches of dick.
But it's going to be.
I get extra, I get some more dick, or bitch, I'll put an extender on him at this point, like, because I am.
I would be So why would you be tight.
About the extender? You know you can extend your dick. You don't want to put your dick inside of another dick?
No, actually that is a good question for.
Dick.
Yeah, wait, no, I would ask No, I want to ask this question So would you where an if you're if you got with a woman who lets you know that she's a size queen, would.
You even if you have a ten inches dick right now, I don't.
Care about the side Like say you got a small dick and you get with a size queen but you love her dearly. Would you rather wear the extendo on your dick to make your dick bigger? Or would you allow her to fuck nigga with a big dick?
Oh, that's a good question. Which what what's your answer?
So you you don't have a brain of y'all wolf, I want to hear.
I'm gonna have to add the extend though I'm not into dude my girls.
Okay, I don't like either one of these options, but I'm picking the extendo for sure.
Yeah, I'm not letting my girl.
God, but y'all want three songs fucking another bitch and we're gonna do three songs.
Let me get some old dick.
God, damn.
Honestly, men are show used to over time feeling emasculated by another MANU girl that I think.
But I'm a cheek that you think? What that?
I think?
I try to when they do the devil standard. And I only give them grace because the patriarchy has tried to make women understand like they're good to fuck other women. They're good to fuck other women, and there's nobody doing that for us. There's nobody saying, hey, women want to meet someone else. They want to do this, ladies, I will be your savior.
We want more dick, Give us more dick. Some of us want trains, some of us want gang bangs, some of us want BUKACKI wheezy. I think that we should start. We should be here today.
No, we should be we should we should today stand up as a woman to let the world know that women desire and crave and.
Yearn President, I'm going.
To hope that you get your gang bangs, you keep your trades at least once a goddamn here, and I prodly stand.
A year. I feel like men embrace their freaks. Excuse me, I don't think so, bro.
Let me tell you.
I don't think the world accepts like just seeing what what what the world. And when I say the world, the internet and everyone had to say about Adam twenty two allowing Lena to sleep with other men completely let me know that a lot of men, even if they would be okay with it, don't know how to express it or what. Never want to let anyone know that it wouldn't bother me if my bitch went out and
fucked another guy. But I think because of how everyone around him would make him feel for that decision, it's something.
That nor ain't nobody going to dine.
Oh, let me tell you something to people that were acting like that with Adam. Hate Adam twenty two because he's white with a hippiexide.
That's kind that makes sense.
Hate him for that.
Yeah, he already was dating a woman who was doing sex with sex work like then y'all took it even further. Bro, I just want to say something. I don't even know if they'll see this, but I work with a woman with Kenya Barris that literally told me she just found out that she goes to school whatever privates. Well, she has her kid in. Adam and Lenna's daughter go there. Okay, she was like, hey, do you know who Lenna? Wait, you talked about this and so basically talked about how
normal Adam and Lena were on this field trip. She's like, he's so cool, They're so great. They're such great parents. I can't believe they do born.
And I'm like, how why kids get her?
Regular people have sex, but.
Here's the things that have sex. This woman.
The woman is kind of older, and she's like, I cannot believe it. I cannot believe right. And so the fact that Adam and Lenna, I'm like, Yo, I wish you knew how much money they were making.
I wish you knew how big they were.
Yeah, they probably make more money than you, bitch, Sorry.
On my friend, I work well, but problem, get out your hair.
But no, I think the point is, like, this is someone whose kid goes to school with their kids the internet is looking at. First of all, Lenna has her own Lenda the mom. She even has an Instagram where she shares her family life. Right, they're real fucking parents. And like the fact that one world you can see this is okay. One world he's okay being an interviewer. It's okay when she's just doing OnlyFans. In the second it's sex with another man. Now we're gonna fucking shit all over.
It, and it did. Bro, I'm not gonna lie.
I think adamyo act like it's okay. But that shit would bother me.
I ain't gonna hold you.
That's why I know y'all be like, uh like you
being in a sex club every bitch. I've been going like bi weekly just to go and talk to people because it's so refreshing to just be around people who are just so openly accepting of their kinks and other people and seeing seeing was fine, but seeing people bring even their partners like and that's what I even loved about going to Hito when we went, like talking to a married couple who brought condoms, and the man was like, and these ain't for me, these.
Are if she wants to have fun.
Like, I love to know that there are people that are literally living in whatever truth that they've created for them that makes them happy, that removes all of the stigma that fucking society has.
There's there's a screenshot someone told me that I'm not Oh, that's not love weezy like the relationship I'm in. And I read this comment from this week's episode. So many cis hetero people live in extreme contradictions, cheating but judging open relationships, don't get tested, but have hello raw sex yep, don't believe in abortions, but don't take care of their kids or do any form of due diligence on selecting the right partner.
Yep.
And that to me is so important because you don't believe in abortions, but you're having a baby with someone that you don't really give a fuck about, and you're bringing a gun.
To me, it's the fucking everybody raw and not getting tested judging sex workers who get tested like damn near every nine days.
So and that's really why I chose today to talk about so much about active parenthood, because Yeah, I'm trying to think of something else. I wanted to talk to you about Vanilla Ship. No, something about you that I was trying to follo. Oh what was the follow up? What's been the follow up from from the couple? Have you spoken to them for what?
No?
They got to get the ship together?
Oh so they haven't even like that was that's all I wanted to know. They had like a picture nothing yet?
Well no, I also was like I don't. Oh yeah, no, I still follow Yeah that's been happening.
Uh just any light conbo there? Yeah, no, anyway, all right, Solla ship.
This one is gets a little dark, but a great topic to talk about, and we often don't really talk about the R word. Trigger warning if you want to skip a few minutes. We'll put it in the description of this bio. What part you don't have to hear about what our word stuff? So our word is rape?
What are you you know?
I mean?
Although in trouble for the other R word, she had to change the whole Goddamn.
I really feel like I had to.
Why that show? You don't think they know what the R word is anyway? NPR dot Org.
There is a new law happened around July, but you're just getting around to talking about it now. In Louisiana, there is a surgical castration law. It is the first state to allow, if you don't know what that means, your dick to be cut off as a punishment for sex crimes under a new law with a Republican governor, which this to me, is kind of crazy because I feel like victims of rape aren't normally protected enough by Republicans to me, not from what I've been reading, but
especially with abortune and making them have the kids. So it's kind of ironic that a Republican governor is doing this. But whatever, he's allowing judges to order people found guilty of certain sex crimes against Myerner to undergo a christ So.
It's specific to pedophilia, yes, okay.
So the use of the castration as a punishment is a permanent US procedure that will remove the testicles or the ovaries to stop the production of sex hormones.
It is actually very rare around the world.
Check public.
Madagascar and Nigeria have some laws on the books about it. I also have these new braces. I shouldn't have been reading an article. Several states, including Louisiana, have allowed for chemical castration with pharmaceutical drugs to push down these sex offenders drive. I didn't even know that, okay, but it's grabbing headlines because it's raising concerns around ethics and constitutionality of the law over whether the punishment.
Would actually make a difference.
That made me too, mainly because any friend of mine, I never had something happen to me when I was a kid, but a lot of them was touching.
It wasn't entrgue with a penis.
They got touched by an uncle, they got touched by a cousin, or even one of the people I know their father and it wasn't full on sex, but it was touching. So there are e but so that's the thing. But that's why it's a testical excuse me because of producing.
So that's why I think when you discuss the R word and the R word kid, that's why that's why semen semen is involved in all of that, like because it does include that part of the sex act so to me. To me though, in terms of it being a punishment, I think the the psychology around what even we talk about in terms of sex and what people
get off on. If this person is no longer having the desire need to explode, which is how we know a lot of men get there, you know, and they're what they look like, you know, what they enjoy, I think it could lead to maybe people going to more extremes like sodomy or using different tools or different things, you know, kind of like what fucking.
Who's the nick that I just watched? Who's the uh Ted Bundy?
Like the way that you have a you you, I think that it could lead to you having a different type of mind to where you will get off for maybe things if you have the sick mind to force yourself on a child, or force your up into an individual that is not consenting. I think if that gets taken away, your mind can become more deserved, more disturbed to you taking advantage of people in other ways, well, let me mean it could be sick age.
So this is rape, incest, and molestation under thirteen. The punishment is on the judge discretion. Now you can refuse it, and if you refuse it, you have another three to five years of additional prison sentence without getting our early. The law doesn't allow anyone under seventeen to receive that punishment.
The rep said they were inspired to propose the bill after seeing a disturbing article about a fifty one year old man who was arrested for raping a twelve year old and the story revealed he was already a registered sex offender and he raped a five year old and O seven and she believes that there wasn't a strong enough law to stop it and believes that forcing that procedure could have saved that person. And also raping a five year old is such a cruel and unusual punishment.
He later did it to a twelve year old, which is a lot older.
But yeah, I don't know.
It made me think a lot, because, to be honest, if it's my kid, do it. But that's also how I'm feeling in that moment. So I wondered if there could be another layer, and I actually think the layer.
Should be incess.
I think pedophilia is a sickness that would be like I guess autism. There's like so with autism, there's no medicaid, like you're living with autism. I think that if your brain, girl, know you did no let me finish, let me get here, If your brain puts you to where you feel like pedophilia like you can't control it. I think that if because it's a crime, that you should be in jail forever a five year old, I think you there shouldn't be a time that you get out. I think that
because in your mind, you did nothing wrong. And I don't think that there's rehabilitation for.
Pedophil Let me take that.
I think that it's a sickness that we've made it also into a crime. So I don't think that they should be out in the open. I think that they need to be locked away. Not that there's anything wrong with I.
Want to be sure. I draw that parallel what I'm saying. No, no, no, that's what I'm saying.
Let me.
Let me make it to where it's a sickness that a crime is attached to it that I don't think that you rehabilitate out of because I think that there's literally something just unbalanced, and.
I want to because they can't put them in jail. I agree, even a five year old, you got to go to jail for life.
Yeah, that's jail for life. You don't get out, and you know what I mean. Or I'm cool with I would be cool, I would be more little with. Yeah, I would be cool with the death on it because the trauma that a you put onto that child four life, but be the fact that you were probably more likely to do it again to another child.
Noah, bra you got it. You gotta die.
From five to ten, like then it's twelve. All of us are having trauma. And I say that to say, like, are we going to kill everybody? Because we are looking at five.
I'm talking about sexual we're talking about rape right now. I know we are, and that that was strong so to me, yes, any age, but that law specifically was for under twelve. I will say for under twelve killed him, motherfucker. I don't see how a grown man twenty eight plus one could even find a way to where that would be.
Okay, dude.
I had a conversation with a man recently where I told him about someone I know who's lost their virginity to their dad, and he said, I think I dated three girls that's father had sex with them.
Yeah, and he's in his forties. And he was like, it's crazy, Like.
I mean, I talked about it, like that's why my uncle is deported. Bro, when did did ten years and then got deported?
Do you know how close?
And I don't think he would be our family too. I don't think he should be out there.
There's literally every like this is so fucking normal, Like I remember this reaction. Maybe maybe I talked about it in the book, but that my mom had to someone taking me to a toy store.
Did I talk about it?
You talked about it on the pod?
Oh yeah, the way that my mom ran out the house or no shoes on, fucking ran after the car, tried to pull open the car door.
And I'm like, why can't.
I man talking about this all the time. The fact that we all have normalized having a creepy uncle. It's fucking weird, Like I think the way this is but the yeah, but the way that ain't nobody checking these niggas like y'all should be disgusted and call these motherfuckers out.
Why do they keep coming to the barbecue? Why the fuck?
I don't care if it's your brother Monday, Like, why do they keep coming around if you know that they have any sort of weirdo creepy ass shitls No, Like, why the fuck are they even still being invited around?
Why are they not being checked? It's disgusting speaking of it.
Remember the woman who tried to shoot her husband's dick off in DC and she's in jail for the daycare.
For the daycare. Yeah, it's disgusting. Shit nasty out here, bruh.
Anyway, So yeah, sorry for the trigger warning.
Hope y'all.
No, but I mean and most of the time, I vannello.
Shit is fun. But I mean I do feel like sex and the news that was a big deal.
YEAHNT talk about that one for the hohod dirve. I'll tell you right now. It's a braceist tip. The only one I got this shit is tough.
I'm sure you spit more. Oh yeah, you probably could.
Slap your head.
So the issue with sucond dick is when you put your lips around your teeth, like he can't feel the braces right, So the problem isn't for him.
He don't need to be scared.
I need to be scared because now the braces are rubbing the inside of my che of your gums. So the braceist tip I have is literally wax around the teeth. They sell this orthodon hiss wax uhuh. But for anyone when in Visilin, I know a lot of people do other orthrow work where your gums are actually sore. There's this thing that starts with a pee sore gum's mouth wash.
You do that before you suck a dick. Girl, you don't feel okay, you have to.
Leave it in your mouth for two minutes and as some ingredient would be, you'll figure out when you go to the story there's only like one sore mouth gum thing. When you switch it around, literally you don't feel anything and then you start drooling.
Now I'm gonna tell you. You said there's only one sore mouth numb thing whatever. Not sure if it's edible, well, baby, I don't have had uh. The one that makes the no no, no, no no no, the one that's supposed to numb your booty off, fra.
Baby, that ship gets your mouth.
You're not feeling shitbe I did a little at.
M and I sucked a little disgusting baby.
Oh, I mean I'm stuck the dickstraight and mind you, I got the pain, I got the numbing lube in my ass, not thinking anything of it. Baby, when I tell you, I'm I couldn't even bitch. I felt like my tongue was gone. I felt like everything was out my mouth. Bitch, that's another option, bitch. I was like, girl, there my pumpmit. I couldn't talk. Shit was crazy. I was like, oh, fuck, I don't fucked up now. Well, well, well well say.
That to say, uh, yeah, so you've used.
It, yeah, and it works like you don't.
Oh, I haven't got to suck a dick yet. I've been practicing on bananas and cucumbers.
Oh you haven't sucked his dick yet since.
No, unfortunately, I haven't had time.
But not you given a tip without No, I'm practicing M seriously, and I've been collecting data and apparently wax is the only thing, and I tried the sor numb THINGA.
I love, you can leave it. I'm not about to hurt my factor.
No, but I only love what you just said because this goes into the horrible decision and some.
Takes that I have collecting data.
No, the fact that you collected data but you're inexperienced because you haven't done it yet.
That you're giving advice.
Oh well, I mean here's the thing.
We didn't have enough time for me to tell y'all my first dick sucking story before we got in the studio, But I really wanted to give that tip because you have to actually look at tips up before you try it. Like, there's so many ways to hurt yourself now that you have this thing right, Like literally, I'm going back to Thailand and I want to go to reggae bar, and reggae bar is a place where you fight for a
free drink. And I was like, well, I want to beat some whole up and give my lotle aggression out.
And you have braces, I know, bitch, that's a weapon mine. I can slip my hole and now we're fighting with blood.
No, Like literally, when I was fighting the girl. My septum ring was new, and I was like, why am I leaking? If she didn't hit my face? It was just the helmet going around.
Just the bitch.
I ain't even doing that no more because bit ch'all told you when I got in that fight at Impanatamma. The first thing I said, bitch, I don't want to have to go back to Columbia.
Still there.
Oh that's Florida again.
But no, the brace. I can't fight because I have fucking braces. It's gonna fucking make it cut.
Up my mouth.
So yeah, bitch, you're gonna be leaking blood, gonna be heavy where you're gonna look like you lost.
So I love that you brought that up because like her, I was like, oh, that's a good one. So a few weeks ago, this interview comes out with cam New and doctor Bryant, and there's been so many opinions on it, and there was for me watching it, there were so many where I disagreed with him and agreed with him, disagreed with her, agreed with him.
By the way, our audience specifically, we had a town hall a couple months ago and they didn't want to talk about like this specifically.
So I want you all to know we're pulling topics from this. We're not going to dissect one person didn't want to talk about it.
I don't know.
It was a lot.
I was on this thing.
It don't matter.
I wait, wait, but you didn't let me finish. We're not going to.
Talk specifically to a cam Newton or a doctor Brian as much as we're going to talk about the themes around the conversation and what was brought up in a general census.
That's all.
I don't care what y'all want to talk about. At the end of the day, it's my god damn show. So when I make the mother fucking outline, that's what.
We're talking about. Shit.
Anyway, point is the reason this conversation is really important to me is because I am finding that I'm seeing a lot of celebration around taking care of your kids
when it comes to men with money. And I don't have a dog in the spighte as far as an absentee father, but I know from dating and from having very close friends, and even from my own mother what it's been like to have an inactive father, and even conversations for the last eight years on this PODU and even before we were podcasting things, she would tell me about your dad and I was literally thinking, this is a great conversation out with Mandy, because I can't imagine
how you feel hearing shit like this. So doctor Bryant, who is a relationship coach, she's a woman that went recently, had conversations recently with Nick Cannon and Cam Newton about them bringing kids into the world. And one specific conversation that really struck a chord for me was her conversation with Cam Newton and having more children but not getting married.
So I'm not married, right, I have beautiful children. How many eight.
I was at that I didn't do my research.
I that was four, but eight?
Okay, how many women?
Three? And this is the kicker. I want more.
Now by multiple women.
What's the intent by your wife?
I just want God to bring them. Oh and you have so you just because.
My point is this, my desire to get married is lower than my fear of divorce. So as you had said, Doctor Brian, you said it, I said, I will agree.
I'm just taking my time, but you will And I say this with all respect and love. What I'm about to say, next, Okay, Cam, but you will selfishly create broken families even if you're in their life and you're a proactive father, and I believe you're an amazing daddy. I can only imagine with just your presence and knowing
you thus far. But these families are still broken. Every child cannot have Papa in the house with them, so some child, if not all, all will end up with some kind of deficit without daddy being there.
Nick Cannon has seven hundred and fifty children and no wife right now and claims.
To be a great dad.
Can you be a great dad with having so many different relationships with women now, Doctor Bryant, The woman said you can't because you're creating broken homes. I completely agree with that sentiment. On the contrary, when I started having this conversation with a friend of mine, she's like, girl, my husband is here every day and don't do nothing.
With these kids. Yeah, I disagree with that.
You disagree with what the same way I think that someone can be an awful partner and a great dad is the same way I feel like.
It like.
I'm trying to.
So when I saw, first off, I don't think anyone is a good parent. That's where I want to start. And I say that because a lot of times people become parents for the first time, even when they have multiple kids, they become their they course correct from maybe what they felt.
Like they did with your parents for the first people.
Well, parents are always normal people, but being a parent is hard to teach. Mind you, a lot of people have the traumas for maybe how their parents failed. So the same way, I feel like I'm kind of dating by knowing what I don't want. A lot of people who are parents are literally trying to be who their parents weren't without any idea of the right way to do something. They only know what they think is the right way to do something. But there's so many things involved.
There's the economics of things. Then there's the kind of line between not giving your child enough lover or attention.
And then spoiling.
Like there's these like weird lines that if you go two parts to the left, they feel like you don't love them enough.
But then if you spoil a child, there.
Becomes resentment and you hovering over them, or as soon as they leave the house now they feel like they can be free. So I feel like, because we're dealing with humans.
As the children.
I think, mind you, you have also all the outside forces where you can't protect them when they're at school or when they're at their friend's house. I think this idea of a good parent is one of those it's literally aligned with a perfect man or a perfect woman. It doesn't exist. And so I think that the way that we believe that you can be a good parent, I think it's so subjective that I don't think it exists, and I think that someone's always gonna fall short.
What is a So to answer that question, I asked Instagram, and I'm gonna read some of their answers what an active parent looks like. So the reason I said that is because good dad, bad dad? Fine, you paid for everything, Sure you're a good dad in your head, but active parents. Can you really be an active parent if you're not with that person. Again, to doctor Brian's point with creating broken homes, I say this to say.
Most success, do you define an active parent?
That's the thing. There is no definition.
So I was gonna say I say this to say no one's answer is this to me, I think my dad was an active parent because we got to do something every weekend together. Now, my dad literally worked six days a week. That to me was active. And I guess if my dad didn't live in my home. My parents are still married. I grew up with a father in the house. Maybe my dad would have had me any weekend everywhere like anyway, so maybe he would have always been an active parent in my head. Now, everybody
has a different answer. I'm gonna read some of those, but I'm gonna say this, I don't know if there's a way that Nick Cannon or Cam Newton can be active parents to eight children, mainly because busy lifestyle. You don't live in the same city as all of these kids. How fucking active can you be? At least to me, baseline of an active parent if you don't live in the same house or city, you should still know them teachers' names, you should still know the academy of your own kid,
what their problems are, who their friends are. You should be engaging with them daily. How can you engage with eight children daily?
I mean niggas can engage eight women daily. I did want to say that, No, there is a baseline online. An active parent is someone who is involved in their child's life. An takes an active role in their growth and development. So there's four bullet points for this. Being proactive,
so teaching values and being a role model. Again, where I feel like people being a role model is where it's hard, communicating openly, setting clear expectations and boundaries, being present, so participating in activities together, and showing interests in a children's interest, and then providing positive reinforcement, which is encouraging
good behavior. So in those even just four bullet points of something, I think those are hard for people who even aren't parents to do in friendships, to do in relationships. So that's where I feel like being active as a human being is difficult, let alone with someone who is developing as a human being themselves.
I think those things are hard.
I think it's hard, but I think that the main thing is Sorry, I'm just trying to find where I screenshot all this and I want to.
Bring a point to So I was raised in a single parent household, and to be fair, where society and all of these places put emphasis on men to financially provide. Again, the conversations around fifty to fifty dates, who pays for a first date? Unfortunately for fathers or men within the household. Provision is a big thing. Providing is a big thing. So there's a lot of men who feel as though, well, none of my child support payments was late. So I did what I was supposed to do as a dad.
And let's be very clear, that's where I kind of found an issue in becoming an adult. Like my dad now feels like I owe him as an adult because he took care of me as a child, because he paid his child support payments. Next, he feels like he is old now because he did right by his child support. Mind you, didn't speak to us for a year, made us all go through DNA tests because my mom needed more financially. Mind you, that's the only thing you gotta do.
Because literally, in the book I'm writing, I can't remember one basketball game he showed up to.
Can't remember one inner mirror game, can't remember that SoC game. But here's the thing.
No, for a lot of people in the way they could compare it, I saw him maybe every other weekend. And when it came to school supplies, when it came to Christmases, when it came to birthdays, when it came to up showing on my mom. Oh, he came in all the electronics. Oh your mom got you.
That for Christmas? Look what daddy got you?
Hold on, let me know question so to me?
So again song every other weekend for a long time.
Yeah, what did you guys do?
And then he called, and then my and then my sister who wasn't his. He took in until he didn't want to pay more money than it became a whole little thing.
So you spend time with your dad every other weekend.
And I don't know my white family.
So whenever I was with my family, it was with my Jamaican side, so I know all my aunties, all my uncles. We were always with my Jamaica family. So that was the only family I had, was them growing up edd And.
Did you grow up with both parents in the house?
I did? Yeah?
And you how douse?
I know you and your daughter are super close now, Like how often did you see your dad?
Man?
If my memory serves me, probably like probably similar to Mandy's in certain cases did.
That some weekends?
I felt like the time we spent with each other was really quality time that made it enough, Like I would say mine was different.
Oh That's why I asked you, what were you guys doing.
We were hanging with his girlfriends. His girlfriends baked us cookies, his girlfriends took us to them. All his girlfriends. His girlfriends always were great, Like there was Jennifer, one, two, and three, there was there were all and we knew all the names. And we hung out with the other women in his life and they were great.
So he didn't make your time my dad.
But but because I met my grandmother just being Jamaican, like, he was just very He worked, He worked hard, and he provided. That's what he knew what to do as a like as a Jamaican, he worked hard. He could cook his ass off, and when he was around, it was like, yo, I need give me my time. I'm drinking my fucking my beer, I'm smoking, I'm I'm off from work because he worked so fucking much.
Now I want to ask you all this.
So I made an Instagram story asking people to tell me what an active parent look like.
I then ask.
People, Hey, if your baby mama and you break up whatever and she moves to another city, let it be work. How often is seeing your kid? Does it make you an active parent? Because sometimes it's not by the choice of the father, right and I want to give men some grace with that, because a lot of women do move.
Maybe they weaponize, yep, they had a painful breakup.
Maybe they just are like completely like I got to remove myself from this in that instance, and especially income because it's not just paying anymore, it's flying there. How often do you think you'd need to see that kid for them to be active enough?
Again, I think it's subjective.
I mean, and to be clear, I think that when a parent is not in the household all the time, again, I don't think you truly know how to be a parent. Like so when we moved to Atlanta when I was in high school, my dad never came to Atlanta to see us, but I came down to Orlando spend a summer, and bitch ended up pregnant because he wasn't around.
We was able to do Bitch, we went to Tampa.
We was bitch ill was at your house more than I saw my dad that summer.
So I think.
They're not jewel fucked up.
No, But to me, I think like that word.
I don't want to lean on active because I think it looks differently and I think it shows up with you an adult, but different.
I think that's the thing though, That's the conversation we're having, right. It's like, I want to at least talk about active because you and I both have friends with children.
Maybe they're married, maybe they're they're in long term relationships, or maybe they're single.
And I keep seeing this reoccurring theme of one with my closest friend, her daughter's about fifteen, that nigga don't spend money and he gets his daughter every summer. No money really goes there, right, he's on child's forty, never sent shit. So I'm just wondering, like, what is truly enough? So I'll read some of these comments from people so you can get an idea. So one woman says, an active father is present to the point where my kid can call him and he's either their asap or emotionally
or physically. When my daughter calls her father, he lives seven hours away, he's made his way down to Orlando if he needs to show up, and or we'll sit on FaceTime with her to help her through emotionally. Another person said, if you can't do the same activities or large events like the mom is, you're not an active dad. Why is my father not there for graduation or a birthday. To me, that makes no sense. Another person says, mine
is a very difficult one. My baby father is in the military, so he can't even get on the phone with my kid every day. However, he is doing enough to spend quality moments, interactions, and time.
Like Wolfe said, long letters, photos, very detailed memories.
He is doing enough to make an impact and an imprint on her life. He even sends gifts that she'll randomly receive. Fathers who bond with their children. For the most part, I would say ninety percent of people said showing up for lifetime major events.
Yeah, which is crazy. My dad showed up to our graduations and our birthday.
You even just said I don't remember him at a basketball game.
Not a basketball game, but major. But again subjective.
He may not have thought that meant anything to me, but he showed up to all of our graduations, my school dances, all the things that maybe he considered large events.
And don't think that that was him being active.
You don't think him showing up was I think you just want more.
Well that and that's why I think all of this is subjective. Because even that first thing you wrote a man to be to open up emotionally or or cope with my daughter's children's emotions. That is such a hard thing for a man to do in a romantic relationship as an adult.
So also the things that we require these men to show up as his parents, then niggas don't even know how to do with us.
Well, listen to this one about providing. I did a poll I said, does money make you an active parent? Four thousand people voted eighty seven percent.
No.
People do not believe providing is active. I then had someone right, this one was interesting. Please keep this anonymous.
Weezy.
My father is the CEO of a fortune five hundred company. I would literally have given back all of the expensive things he ever bought me just to have had some fun moments with him, a theme park, anything. I literally never did anything fun with my dad because he was so busy on making money, being popular and rich and making sure he could say he was providing for his family. I grew so much resentment when he got married again because he got to have another who I'm sure got
more of him. Another dude wrote me. I then wrote and said, fathers, can you tell me where you fucked up? This dude said, since me and my baby mother have so much more bitterness toward each other, literally, it becomes a hostage negotiation to see my fucking kid. In most cases, I can only be as active as her mom will allow me to. And I know my daughter's gonna grow
up thinking I didn't give a fuck about her. There's even moments when I do see her and I'm so angry from having a ten second interaction with her mom that I can't even be present anymore. I believe that what you sorry, I believe that what you posted about Nick Cannon and Cam Newton not being active is totally correct. They are beginning relationships with their children while having no relationships with their mother. Having children with good women is
not a good choice for your child. It's a bad choice for you and a bad choice for their future. That one I love because Cam Newton literally said something like, oh, well, these women are high functioning or whatever because they want to have kids, like I'm choosing baby mamas, And I do think that's bullshit, Like rich niggas having a bunch of kids is bullshit.
We're not gonna tell me Father's Day.
Your kid wants to fucking see you, and Nick Cannon can be eight places and give them all the fucking love. And even if they're all in one place, Mandy and he had to rent a goddamn event hall to fit all the kids, it's still not enough.
I am doing too much.
But I'm also going to blame the patriarchy here and for what women are putting as a necessary need. Like I said, a lot of our conversations are how much money do you have?
What can you do for me?
We're pushing the narrative that a man's value is based on how heavy his pockets are.
A lot of the time.
And so if we're doing that in dating, if we're doing that in choosing a partner, where they feel like my value comes with my money, and so when they feel like their money is what matters to their children, to their families, to the women they date, that's why so many of them are gonna believe like, well, I did what I'll supposed to do. I made the money, you got paid.
I told you. That's where my dad feels like, that's where my dad showed up.
And I'm like, now as an adult and hearing my mom, no, it doesn't it's not all it takes. However, society is pushing the envelope that a man's value is based on how much money and what he can provide and how he provides it, and that unfortunately they don't know in what other ways they should be or have to show up. And it reminds me of the conversation where it's like, damn, y'all, just keep moving the goal post. Now I'm paying all the bills, but now I need to be an ear
for you to listen. Now I need to be emotionally sound, and men are like, Damn, I thought all I had to do was make money, because that's what I thought.
I just I thought I had to be a provider.
Now you want me to be an emotional creature. You want me to show those things to you.
Damn, I got to catch up. I don't know how to do that yet, dude.
Honestly, I think this is why we need more content surrounding fatherhood. And that's why I love DDG, who's the
new Oh John Queeze. They said, Damn he coming for DDG because he was like, oh, I don't know, I'm happy to be around this baby or you know, and I know that's your and I loved seeing that I think he posted like I don't know how y'all be doing nothing or whatever he said, and people were coming like, oh wait till you get to this year, and it's like, God damn, let that nigga be fucking excited bro to change a diaper, to be happy about being a dad for the first time.
I love seeing people.
I think he has to do it what his ex leaked, because he made it seem like having a baby with someone doesn't mean you're a family with them, and so I think that's the other thing, like I don't know what strong an. So they were, Yeah, there was beef and dramas, so I think whatever the response was no, like we could be happy for someone, but if shit then came out like people gonna be a little little you know. I know, I'm open for the best with
their happiness. But there was a text message that got leaked where he was like, yeah, well, having a baby with a woman doesn't mean you're a family and he said that to the ex, and the ex post of the screenshot while she was pregnant.
Yeah, so anyway, Yeah, I.
Don't know the family part. What I'm saying is I like watching him be a good dad. Actually, to me, it's.
Not about me.
We haven't seen him be a good dad.
We saw they just had the baby, but we've seen the excitement of him becoming.
A father, and I like that aspect.
I'm gonna actually disagree on that one. You said we haven't seen him being a good dad. I think the baby was three days old. To me, the excitement changing a diaper, doing whatever, I feel like that, that to me is what I want to see and it would give me the idea that someone is being a good
dad slash active dad. Like I think what we're seeing from DDG is specifically why someone made that joke you must be coming for him, is because he posts his kids so much, looks so excited, is laughing so much. And I don't feel like I see that kind of stuff.
I see it with moms so much more.
And I really would love to celebrate father's relationships with their kids and get to know that, even if it's from celebrities or influencers or whatever.
I really don't see a lot.
Of that, So you don't see it.
I know that's the thing right now online is especially even with Safari and other celebrities, they go and get their kids take pictures, make it seem like they're active, and then they're not so like to me even speaking, and.
What is there saying about Sahari they.
Babe, you ain't got them nothing for their birthday. You don't know, you know nothing about it. You're never around and the only time you're around them, you want to take all pictures and have it in their face like you're around Gosha. So like even to me, the posting online and things like that, those to me don't mean that you're an active or a good parent like my dad.
I think we're watching it though my dad's still influencing.
My dad would be the loudest person at my events. My dad before I went down to Orlando last time, he was bragging. He told me how he was bragging about me. Nigg I ain't talk to you on the phone, and so.
What can a dad do?
But that's what I'm saying. We're humans.
You think it's I mean to the contry.
I don't think you could be a good parent period. I don't, I.
Think, But I think the point is like still seeing I'm sorry, seeing men take on certain roles with their kid or spending time with their children.
I think it's good to see.
We don't see it, and I think like we're celebrating to this whole having a bunch of babies but taking care of them money wise. Thing like that Nick Cannon conversation, which I hate, and I do like to see activity. I think that's really influential. One of my favorite videos online. I wish I could find it. It's a nigga that just had a baby and all his homeboys are in the house. It's like a New York dude and they
hold in dolls and shit with the baby. Has anybody seen this and they like, a, ah, she going to the grocery store. And it's like adorable to me because it's like, oh my god, seeing men have community. When I get all my homegirls, a gonna rush to the forefront, right, even the ones that don't have kids.
That's what women do.
But I just don't get to see it a lot in brotherhood or with men, and I feel like if we got to have more examples of that, it would really help show fathers that it's not just a payment, Like there's so much more contact and it's made me hate Nick Cannon. Bro Anyway, Okay, so more conversation that happened before we get out of here.
Yeah, specifically with doctor.
Brian yepe is that you brought this because this is the conversation she was talking about a lot of this high functioning.
I hate that high value have function to comment.
But high functioning meaning emotional management, which is ironic because when I was listening, I almost felt like she ain't have it a little bit. She was getting very irritated by him bringing up her singleness. But I also think.
Because that's it, it's irritating, it's irritating, but because it invalidates me as a woman, or why I can speak to what I'm speaking to.
No, he was doing it. I actually think he was doing it to like pick at her because she was.
That's what I'm saying.
It was an insult.
I don't know.
So I can see her agitation because you're saying that to insult me, right, which is grid.
However, we had an war on here. You had made a comment on.
Oh that's why you let me get him up with I could so let me let me talk about this a relationship. Coach being single is kind of crazy. However, why I could kind of see it is because I don't know if my therapist has ever been through some of the issues I'm talking about, whether it be financially, money or whatever. But I do know there's killed enough to guide me through which I believe doctor Bryant can be right when anwar was on here, I think he's amazing.
I love some of his advice. Some of it I don't. But for the most part I do. You were like, well, he's gay.
Well no, so this is so let me explain my point. I do not believe that a gay male should be giving advice to heterosexual women on their relationships with men, because what a gay man has gone through in his life, how he interacts the same way. We know they act completely different with Grinder than they do on Tender.
There is difference.
There are a huge difference between hetero sexual relationships and homosexual relationships.
One thing.
Secondly, we didn't get into it. I know he is history speaking to dating online. I did not remember asking about his educational background when I don't know.
What it is years, which is why doing something.
For fifteen years and say has been active doing it and has literally studied it, and he talked about that.
Well, I want to know the criteria well, and I say that because we can be gay.
No, no, no no.
We've had SHAMBOOTI on the podcast.
Who went to school to become this because she was giving advice for years before she went to school for a sex head, right, So my and relationships, that's her and Brella. That's why she's not a full sex spert. It was definitely the mix between relationships, her dynamic. That's why she got married, That's why she went to school got it. But it's because she said she didn't feel
like people took her serious without both. I don't think I can get relationship advice from a gay man who has never had a heterosexual relationship with a man.
I also, again don't know his education.
Lastly, doctor Bryan specifically a has two degrees and a doctorate on specific psychology, so she went.
To school for it.
Agree, I understand why she can coche.
So the same way I believe for someone. And this is the argument I have all the time. I'm fine with Skip Bayless being commentator, speaking on the business and all this stuff of sports without having ever been an athlete.
To me, Doctor Brian expresses she had four proposals.
She's been in numerous relationships where she does she did admit that three of them were because she wasn't ready. So to me, she's gotten as far as being proposed to engaged, didn't go through with a full wedding.
I don't see that.
I don't think that it's bad for her to be current in a moment in time. She's currently single giving advice. I don't think she has to be married to give relationship advice. She's not specifically talking to married women.
I agree with you, and she doesn't have to be married to give advice. Okay, However, I do think and that's why the animal I thinking doctor Ryan thing came to my mind.
Mm hm.
He's been married fifteen years and has three children and has been going through the weeds of what a relationship is like. And to me, I almost feel like their roles could be reversed. And I'll tell you why. To me, he is more authorized to be giving coaching advice while in a relationship, and she'd be better off talking to women on being single because she's actually in the dating field. But I'm not gonna hold you, Mandy like a single woman.
It wouldn't give me a lot of faith if they were coaching me in dating now she's coaching in relationships and dynamics. To me, that's more therapy. So I understand why she does. That's a relationship coach. Yeah yeah, yeah, so, but I get why he was trying to like kind of stick it to her because he's feeling like shitty when she's telling him what he's doing is wrong, which
cam Newton is wrong. But I almost felt like they could be flipped to me, someone married to fifteen years, that's a long accomplishment and coaching that entire time, and the children. Most of the women come into him probably want a husband and kids. That's why they're paying tens of thousands of dollars. Right in her particular case, if you're coaching married people and never have been married.
I don't know if she's psychological, I don't know.
So I don't know her to be a marriage counselor though like you could, but you're dealing with the relationship dynamics.
Like so, I think that that's the problem.
When you're in a relationship, whether you're married, whether you're single, whether you're dating, whether you're ethical non monogamous, whether you're monogamous, you're dealing with people and communicating, which is what she talked about. That's why she believes she's high functioning, because she knows to listen and she.
Knows how to communicate.
I think those are the difficulties and tropes that we have in relationships, so much that I don't find it a problem that she's doing it to me, though I don't think it's a problem, no, so, but where on the other end, I don't think there's a problem with what she's doing with anwar. Being a homosexual black man giving advice to black heterosexual women.
That's where I find it to be completely like, nah.
Bro, So let's talk more than about experience. Yeah, if he's had most of his clients end up in successful relationships, is he not doing the job they're paying him to do.
I could say this is the number one podcast in the world. I could say anything. I don't see that. I didn't see stats.
I mean, now you're trying to nail somebody to the cross. But let's just say we're taking that word for value, like, there are many people that do a job with something that they don't have. You before you got in a relationship, were giving relationship and dating advice before having a boyfriend.
We've been there and doing it.
I think someone that's been in a field for fifteen years literally even when he was like I said, oh, is there any relationship? If I think I said this that you may regret, He's like, some of it has had to change dynamics, Like, I don't know. I do believe you can coach someone like to date even though you're.
Gay, Like I believe that.
I think also dealing with black women specifically is probably what makes.
It a lot more.
Relative, right, Like, I'm sure white women probably come to him, but we're raising a black family. He understands he's dynamics with men. Yeah, he's gay, but I've had a gay therapist before. That's listening to advice. There are some people that seek out gay therapists for their gay issues alone. But I don't really think there's anything wrong to me, It's more about knowing you've experienced this yourself. That's why I think cam Newton probably was fucking hating on her with that you could.
Talk about relationship a doctor in dating levels.
Sexuality matters because to me, just I would just say that then sexuality matters to me, and how you navigate the advice that you're receiving from any coach, and so to me, someone who's Christian, faith based, monogamous and has never had an ethically non monogamous relationship wouldn't go to like sexuality to me in terms of discussing relationships, which is why we talk so much about how sex impacts our relationships or why people feel like your relationship can't
be real because of the dynamics you insert in sex. That's where I'm saying, like we're dealing with people, yes, but sexuality plays such a large role in how we show up in relationships, specifically specifically romantic ones. I'm not taking dating advice from a homosexual.
I'm just not.
I refuse.
You ain't never been in a heterosexual relationship the same way I'm not gonna take advice from a monogamous, faith based person who has never experienced lifestyle.
So then is doctor Bryant then qualified to be giving dating advice to people that want to get married?
She's not well, she said the three of the four proposals. She never made it all the way. But also, you're asking someone to me, getting married is not the high all be all, and there's people people.
That are paying I'm gonta disagree with this many. Okay, you can tell people that no, no, no, people that are paying.
Yeah.
I don't believe that everybody thinks marriage is a high be all, but we can all pretty much tell.
If you're not ask you're hitting money. Will you not looking for just ah boyfriend?
So let me ask you this question.
On the opposite end, she has never been married, but has been proposed to four times and has been in long standing relationships. Would you rather take advice from her or someone who's been divorced three times?
Because then those marriages A good question. The marriages didn't work.
I don't actually think that's a wash on them. Okay, so she's been proposed to four times, don't know why.
Don't know what type of niggas you date.
To be honest, she could have stayed in relationships where like, I don't know, it might have been your fault too.
She said it was her part. The three though, that's that she loves.
Right and so like they're that uh course, correcting learning where you like, I think you can probably teach people but actually consider them.
To be okay cool.
The reason I do is because there's a lot of power in saying no. So if a woman's been divorced or like when my single friends give me advice, right, and my man has even said to me too, like, I don't know why you would ask or talk to this about so and so if they're not right, And I'm like, yeah, but they've been in a relationship before, and a lot of women say no to bad relationships.
Me too.
If I would have stayed with old day, would that have made me a better Like? No, so they're divorcing to get into Like, I don't know. The only thing I want to know when I'm talking to somebody, if I'm really asking them to lead me, I would actually rather see them in it. So if I had to pick from her or Animar, it'd probably be in work, mainly because that lifestyle is probably what I.
Would want when I'm paying for it, what I'm looking for.
And I do know that a fifteen year marriage is so unheard of and children that to me, I'm like, damn, you probably got more to teach me than she do.
They been able to be married for fifteen years.
Legally he's from Canada.
I'm not sure, but I think marriage in New York and that was twenty over twenty years ago was it over. I think so because I was here when it became legal the United States became legal.
No, it's still by state. It's not people maybe they went to wh it ain't federally, Yes it is. Gay marriage is not a federal it's still by state. No, that's a more should we look.
That up.
Obama. It happened under Obama. That's what you probably remember. Hawaii was still all the gaze.
On June twenty sixth, twenty fifteen, the US Supreme Court struck down on all state bands in the same sex marriage.
So legal, Okay, So that's nine years, bro, twenty fifteen? Bro what nigga?
Okay, I'm just saying you say twenty bitch.
I was like, wait, I've been like nine years.
Who knows.
But anyway, so I don't know if he was legally married for fifteen years, but okay you can.
You could have gotten married in another state.
And they're Canadian, right, And that was also a common thing, that of state thing.
Yeah, in Canada, they definitely got a better fucking representative than we do. But anyway, say I had to say, yeah, for me, I do believe in longevity and working it through and it being healthy, Like that's a good marker. And I would say that to someone in business if you had a fucking podcast studio or any kind of audio production studio a longer time than me, and that business was running and up, I'm gonna probably ask you for some advice before I would an influencer that just
opened their shit but it boomed. Like, I do think that longevity is something that people respect. But again, I think doctor Bryant can counsel because of the psychology degree.
But dating, I don't know it's advice.
Yeah, I still don't want nothing from a homosexual.
Uh.
I don't really know why that bothered you so much.
It doesn't bother me. I'm saying, first off, I'm not bothered. I'm not angry.
I don't feel like I want someone even if I.
Believe sexuality matters. That's my point.
That's my point is that the sexuality matters in your experience through the sexuality that you are matters if you have not had a heterosexual relationship.
If your experience is to help women get to that's pretty much what it is, get to the finish line, which is marriage, right.
And I guess that's my different like where I feel like it's different. I think relationship advice for the relationship coaching and those things. Marriage is not the end goal for everyone. So when we talk about the qualifications of why someone may be going to a dating a relationship coach, then being single in the moment to help me through my relationship doesn't matter if they're married or not.
Do you think that actually this for everybody in the room.
So an War is not a matchmaker, he's a dating coach for people that want to get married.
That's like what he said.
Do y'all think that anyone that's spending money though, is going to spend money if they're not looking for a husband or wife.
Because I actually don't.
It's a couple's therapy happen. No, no, no, single people paying a dating coach. Single people paying a dating coach.
So that's the thing. She's not a dating coach, she's a dating account I'm not talking about her.
I'm just trying to like, oh, this is conversation because you're saying marriage isn't the end goal for everybody. But I think for dating coaches that's got to be their thing. Do y'all believe that everyone paying for dating coach wants to get married.
I thought, so I would think that there's an end goal if you're doing something like that.
Or just to get a partner. Just because you get what someone doesn't mean going to.
Pay for it if it's not.
But I don't think there's a way.
To confirm that just because you make a match that this person is going to be your husband.
I know, but I think when someone's spending the money, they want marriage, but.
There's no way to That's what I'm saying.
Even if we get matched, that doesn't mean this person's going to be my husband or my wife. I think that that's an unrealistic expectation just because I'm paying money, I'm going to find my husband.
That's not feel like it's like if you go to a subway and like you get a wrap instead of a fucking six foot or foot long, you know what I'm saying.
So, the thing that's happening within dating coaches right from even when I gather when he talked about specifically these women in Bigger City, then when he said six to eight months for a commitment, whereas the other ones ninety days. I think what's happening is that these people that are paying don't have the tools to set because it's all about boundaries. And this is actually something he said on a live I watched. He's like, I'm not saying stress him out, but by stress him out, I mean make
your boundaries that strong. I'm not doing this or I'm not going to be dating you without having X, y Z. Like you've made some for yourself too, right, Like.
Those are my boundaries.
There's a difference though, between boundaries and ultimatums, which we talked about too, right. Soa walking away, right, that's about the point.
So like I think dating coaches are there to kind of guide you through that because a lot of women a aren't walking away be setting that tone or ce able to really.
Go out there and date in a way that puts them in a position of power.
I think a lot of girls go on these dates and they're kind of just like following the dudes, you know, flow, whereas the coaches are kind of being like, hey, this is what your next step needs to be. I think that's why people pay, But I also believe that the
end goal for them is marriage. I find it hard to believe that there is a woman out there that would spend anywhere from five to ten thousand dollars to just have a long term for I think they really want a husband, because I think people that just want to date casually feel comfortable enough to do it solo.
But you don't.
We disagree on this, and I just I know we've been going back and forth for a long time and we're over on time.
Wrap it up, wrap it up out.
I'm just like.
I've said my point, you've said your part. Dropping the comments who you you know where you stand on dating coaches, dating relationships and qualifications of them, and you know, drop it in the comments below.
Seew uh.
And you guys want some more content like this, make sure you join us on our Patreon. That's patreon dot com. Next Slash Horrible Decisions. This has been yet another episode of Horrior Decisions.
If you haven't heard Monday's episode yet, it is the same exact guess which we've never done.
You know, we haven't shout out to Drake.
He's back now.
Actually he dropped to at Gordo killing in Sideways and then he just dropped one hundred gigabytes of new music.
Is this? Did you hear?
This is racial?
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
I'm not gonna hold you for the next couple of months. This is how this is how people gonna listen to Drake.
Be the phony.
I ain't gonna hold you people is just cheap.
I don't been to a whole lot of parties, a whole lot of clubs, a whole different country. And baby Drake was going off and and and the girls and the boys.
You know what was to They not like us. Listen, They're like not, they're not like us.
Every day since it came out, like just accident, just walking around someone played it. But you know that clip of Drew Ski dancing to Grease, like when it's like a little meme of him, He's like, this is a meme of Drew Ski dance on the boat to a Drake song, Like you forget that, Like pe the minute there's a banger, everyone's gonna be like, oh, like goodness gracious or the super so super so with yacht's out right now, it's all over.
TikTok oh, yeah no, that's what I'm saying. He's still dropping And even I don't even that ship was Gordo.
By the way, how crazy is it that Revamps happened? I don't know if anyone ever heard of Gordo before, he looked very familiar to me. When I used to rave with Vinnie back in the day, one of my favorite DJs was this dude named DJ Carnage because he would play trap shit.
I'm looking at him, yes.
Oh wow, whoa who.
Look at that.
I'm talking to her friend of mine, like, why would they do that?
And it's like, because when you're boxed in, if you don't rename.
Didn't hit make it?
Do that?
Kitty boy? DP know about to titty had Well?
Anyway, oh that's right, here we go.
So the same thing happened that day. No, no, no, take something.
I wanted to do this outline about marriage because when I clicked on your Instagram, I'm like, oh, yeah, he's happy, and you were getting a gift for your husband that day, I think, But we ended up getting so deep and combo and one sexuality we need to talk about off the top.
Yes, the Gabriel you need so now your senses that I was right.
Listen, it's not that we think that you have more ground to stand on than we initially gave you. But also, I'm not gonna be up here saying she's not a great actress. But then if I look at the rate, is I go, oh, where I'm I putting her? Where am I putting her? So you know, I think I think this is a black people need to We didn't have a referendum in the black community. Everyone's gonna get a pamphlet and everyone can vote and we'll figure out
where we're going to play Anzwe Bassett. We know she's above azeb Basket is above Gabrielle Union.
Of course if.
There, if there is, you know how people do tiers where you're worth five points, four points point, two points, one point.
Yes, Gabrielle Union is a two pointer or three. I would not even put her point.
Who's your three?
So if Angela's five, yeah, and Palmer's four, we're going to Palmer four.
Okay, Right, we're giving Kiki four and not three. I would give key Palmer three. Okay, I would give her three, but then I gotta get Gabrielle Union and three.
I think Kikey's above Gabrielle, and I have Gabrielle a two.
Wow, Wow, like make it good at a one.
Don't do what she died.
She died.
Baby.
Maybe there has been zero range with meg a good or haler. Hold on y'all, but that's it over, y'all as play for the people.
So I got maybe hold on, I'm.
Okay, So okay, A four.
I would probably put, oh, like Otavia Spencer, Kerry Washington.
Washington up there in five.
I would put Kerry Washington out of four, I'll give Carrit four or five.
I would give her a four. Five Yeah, Otavia Spencer four five. Okay, she got hardware.
Okay, oh my god, I got that was funny.
Yeah, you need to take cousin baby.
Don't do that because even she had mad years from them to get better. And Harlem and that recent black five. Sorry, Halle Berry. I would put it a four.
I'm done.
This is crazy.
I just typed an African American.
Acts, say giks, it comes up as the third in it.
So you just called a segment from our bonus content over on Patreon. We have so much more bonus content BTS live episodes, hundreds of hours.
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