EP 382: Why Romance Is The Bare Minimum (Ft. Mike The Poet)

Guess what decision we're about to make. Horrible decision.

Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of Horrible Decisions. I feel like I can because, bitch, i've been moaning, I've been doing some good ship. I'm your girl. Madv Aka well cor buks aka did beach?

What's up, y'all, I'm weezy. Welcome back for another episode. Now we're not solo, but we have a man in the building. So y'all could either love him r we do.

He's a poet, he's an author, he's my friend out of Philly. We were touring with Tonight's conversations and I'm glad to have you shoes at.

I don't do shoes. Are you joking?

No?

She must. She didn't know boyfriend. She didn't know about the shoes.

Why would I know about the shoes. I just know about the poaching.

Oh, it's all together. It's a package.

Let me see the bottom of your socks.

Yeah, on camera right now?

Are the bottom of the.

Stat walking here with shoes?

No?

No, he has shoes.

You thought you walked in with no shoe typing ship you took him off, you thought, oh wait, you thought he just walked No shoes.

My expectations so low of people. I'm so aware. I'd be like, listen, wherever slow your boat. You already kind of have a hole teppy vibe. You might have been like, yo, I can't be that close to the.

Earth if no, no, no, no, I'm not gonna lie. I don't know about hoteppie.

But it's giving. I don't know.

We have to come up with that other word. Maybe artsy, but not because you're from Philly but you do poetry.

I mean, it's just being funny, like you know, it's not like you came here with a danglyar.

No, like ho teppy to me is nineteen keys that for sure. Like hotel, Like I don't think take grand minds the hotel when dudes be saying ship to me, Like when I.

Walked in and you said something about your boyfriend, I don't really believe in boyfriend whatever you.

Okay, So wait, you said you don't believe in boyfriend?

Yes you for me? No, it's not a thing.

Boyfriends is not a thing. So what is just the.

Concept of it? I mean I feel like like, like do we have to stop here on a way to the altar?

Oh? So you just believe in you love her.

If you love her, either marry her or Sarah free.

Oh why do you have to Why can't we test the waters first?

Well, I mean, I mean, why do we have to put these relationship handcuffs? Like you know how to swim? Right?

Oh, I don't have my relationship just like you ain't got no ship.

Well, relationship with our handcuffs is a little boring. In my personal opinion, I would say get handcuffs.

No.

I mean, okay, in the bedroom where you're talking about just locking somebody down, and even that word I don't like, Like I don't like the locking down to somebody.

I mean, for me, this is what I feel like good prim and is mean like when I say no handcuffs, like I don't want a relationship to feel like I can never do anything again. Like my man just said to me a few nights ago. I don't know if I said this on Horrible, but we were talking about bachelor and butch red parties because I have a friend of mine who's getting married, and he was like, I'm not having a bachelor party. I'm like why, He's like, what am I having some last fucking night of some shit?

But but I was gonna say bachelorette parties are different than bachelor parties.

But I guess, like when he said that to me, he's like, Yo, all of my friends that have talked about bachelor parties need to like get this last moment. I ain't going to jail. And I was like, okay, So I say that to say, I think when a relationship has too many restrictions, that's what keeps people from commitment. And so I don't like that commitment has a tie to there's nothing else, or I can't have this other

But but wait, are you you're monogamous though?

Correct?

Absolutely, Okay, So I think that that's the difference too, Like the the constructor idea that you're locked down and can't do anything else. When you have a non traditional, non monogamous relationship, all of those like don't press the red button, and if you press the red button, it's over. Thing goes out the window because you know that you're open to just communicate with your partner. A I kind of want some of the pussy today. Are we going to do it together?

Now? Do you think?

Do you think monogamous men are monogamous because they don't want it, but they have it.

I don't think.

I think most people are monogamous because that makes them feel safer soon Like No, I just mean like I think monogamy makes you feel like you only want me. That means that we're good. If you want someone else, you must not love me enough.

That's a bit mediocre depressing, Like if that was the advertisement I read for monogamy, I.

Wouldnt think about what happens when people get cheated on.

No, I think, I mean, I guess in my mind, monogamy is not the it's not the requirement, it's the decision. It's like yo, like, have you ever met a person of abundance and you don't need nobody else? Like I'm not monogamous because I have to be. It's like what else could I need?

You know, it's the it's the desires. Doesn't don't mean that like you don't need anyone else. I have a best friend, but I got other friends. I can't.

I mean, but the connection you have with this non familiar human transcends every other relationship, or in my belief it does. And that's that's such a like the two become one, you know, so now the one of us might want to go do something, but like this is this is the homie, like this is my heart now. I think when people are in these like mids like these mid tier, mid depth relationships, then it's like I'm

I only hate that idea because as a woman who doesn't want marriage, yeah I want a partner, I don't want it to be viewed as a mid tier limbo as relationship only because there's no end goal of marriage. And so this idea that you're either single or you're married, it leaves out so many of the people that don't seek marriage or that piece of paper or to walk down the aisle like you know.

Like we just got three different I know.

When you were talking, all I thought was, oh, that hurts, because I don't feel mid tier just because of other sexual desires. So like, for example, if anyone's watched Will and Jada talk about each other or Red Table Talk or whatever.

Love them.

Their love seems like there's no else I could touch it, right, that doesn't seem mid tier. They negas right, So I'm like, I don't I think somebody.

I mean, I mean, but it's not like how you just said that.

Sorry, like they.

This podcast not too much on Will, because I love you so Will.

In person, baby, I wanted to hop on that thing. If Jada was in the room, I would have asked her permission. Now that motherfucker got a little to hold that palm, because you.

Know, no, no, no, no, he did. I'm playing y'all laughing.

He really sat up there during Bad Boys and said, do you know what I do?

Mother?

No, I ain't even gonna hold you. I haven't been in a room with a man with big dick energy in a while. The way Will sat up there with some big dicken.

He was like that don't mean I don't love my man. I wasn't at the bad boy. You're like, whoa, whoa?

And I also thinks there is as is a what you'll get the.

I mean I think, I think. I think the more we you do more Jesus, Listen, he did honestly. No, no, no, I.

Mean less of the Sinny's nuts. Listen.

Well, this world is This world is a beautiful place, right, But there's more than just re enforce here. Okay, now we can start. We could start dating our demons and dancing with him and taking them home and fucking them and then calling them cousins and shoot and bail for him. You know what I'm saying. I'm not like, how how how slippery are we gonna go down this slope? If

So I like that. I like everything you said. I know you're SI was like you were trying to be sarcastic, trying to be sarcastic to me. To me, I hate the limits and bounds that we place on ourselves, like a we got one life to live now. Yes, I've been here before, I know I have in another realm, I'm gonna be here again. But to me, where I'm at, where I know. I went to Mexico. I wanted to swim with well sharks. I just did the south of France, and I want to try all these different foods cuisines,

Of peace in school. But it is not in the tent commandments.

Okay.

God is not saying don't get an oxygen tank and climb up Machu Pichu. He's not saying okay, He's just saying, thou shall not still, thou shall not kill you know, all the evils shall not cove it. LUs.

So I'm doing a lot.

Yeah, phone marriage, we don't we don't fucked up a lot of the things they say we should I think.

So, just to make it clear, I agree with you.

I I feel like I'm my house and household is not this whole willy nilly like it's every day type thing. But I do believe in moments, right, yes, and so I'm thirty three years old. You look great, thank you. Fortunately he already happened. He can't. He's in my life. I haven't experienced it all yet.

Now.

There really is not to sound like New York bitch, there aren't many moments where I am feeling like I'm just craving some of them, Like, that's not it. However, what if I just happen to be with my homegirls, we take a trip to Paris, right well, just in France and there's some really cute French guy that's flirting with me on the dance floor or American fun moment. Yes, in my life, that just was something that I could do. Yes.

I mean, you know, like when you hang around with people with mud on their hands, they're going to get it on your shirt, so you can't do nothing about it. But you should have seen that type of person before it got to that thing. Like that's different. Like love is patient, love is kind, love is free?

But why is If love is free, then why is it jeopardized? If I just made out with some French kindidance?

But listen, there's a moment, right, and then it's like okay, like there's also decorum, there's also integrity, there's also honored But what.

But how is me having that moment of freedom? And I would even just boil it down to well, the question fun either jeopardize or invalidate or or make me someone who's not loyal anybody?

If you want me no, kiss them?

I the word kiss. But even if if it was sex, right, why does that take away what I have with this person?

How does it then tarnish.

All the cheating is Listening, what I delt with that cheating is different.

I'll tell you why, explain that before. Cheating is a very deceitful thing because we made a commitment and a promise to each other. Cheating to me is a very bottom tier thing. Okay, you're lying, You're you had to go out of your way to fucking lie to me to figure out how to tell me you fell asleep to do all this other ship.

Now you really it's the lying then, not the cheating that is the problem of it.

Cheating requires a lie, Cheating requires deception.

Or if you were in France, they kiss this French guy, it's only not cheating because you told your partner.

Do you tell them before or after? Well, I'm not talking about these specific rules. I'm just saying in non monogamy, right, these things can happen right or whatever relationship you have, whatever those rules are, I'm just saying, specific to cheating, I understand how that's a moral that's lying to me. It's a complete turn off because.

Even a deeper level, if we don't, if we're not, if we're not going to go to black and white, like what what in your in your inside could be fulfilled? But just the presence of a foreign guy in a foreign place, that simple, simple of an occurrence could lead to something as passionate, as spiritual as just swapping a flesh in any capacity.

So I don't think that sex is always spiritual with other people.

It is my.

Part I can't talk about.

So I have sex. I've had sex with women and men that I don't really care about. I don't even remember the name I made great chemistry. I did that, However, if I want to scratch.

It, Okay, I haven't always been like that. I always been.

Why am I the person that isn't healed, isn't forward, isn't a good woman? If I do that?

Well, well no, see this is not judge. Mathis over here, right, So don't let my like retort of you know, the things that you say be just like the authority, right. I just mean, like I only believe and that that's sort of love that in composes everything that I desire at that present time. And I feel so fulfilled, so intrigued, so you know, disinterested in everybody else that I'm really

So I wanted to ask you that question though, because you said some can last six days, six weeks, three years, whatever. But so are you saying that once you are no longer fulfilled, that relationship is out so that you don't cheat everybody, thinking that's what I was.

Feel me so that next.

Bitch, you know, I take my shoes off so I can be comfortable enough to be vulnerable. Okay, I'll be grounded myself.

No, for real, after the six months or even three and a half yearn after the three that's a good commitment. That's when six months, I feel like there's a lot of our average kind of dating. Three and a half years, at what point is it something else, someone else, or something starts lacking that you didn't see before? Because to me, it's like I don't want to get on a high horse and say I made this huge commitment to somebody, then I'm able to change my.

Mind, I think. For I think having emotional intelligence right lets me know when the woman that I'm dealing with personally, don't like me no more. You know what when they start sucking a teeth, start complaining, Like when I meet a woman, I'm probably so mesmerized by her visually that I come up and make some ridiculous sort of thing, like you know, my first pickup line was cutting to the chase. It's like, how, my name is Mike, I'm thirty one years old, I don't have no kids, I'm

Etc.

Right, and then it'd be like yes, kind of get to the yes, and then from that day every day after that, I'm on you, and it's like, you know, I guess I was love bombing. My therapist would say I was love bombing before love bombing existed. But it's only a bomb if it actually explodes and if people die. If not, I'm just a hundred from the start, and I'm one hundred until a moment, right. I don't like to be disappointed. I tell people when I meet them,

So you start to switch up, you're saying.

No, no, no, no no. I mean, things will go through, something happened, well, things go good, and sometimes it's like, you know, it's fun, it's new, it's fresh, it's clean, and then after a while, like you know how when you live with a person, it's like, damn, it's not the nigga I used to just date, right, I mean, and then the wax wears off of people, right, myself included.

But that's with everyone. I think the problem with that too is something you just said is I don't like to be disappointed by people and.

Close to me, right, but when the ways just messed up my order, that's right.

But regardless, I think that that's what a lot of us do in dating or in finding partnership. We literally go into something with these high level of expectations of a person and in partnership and and what we want. We have all these things and we want them, we want all the boxes ticks off, However, wempletely remove the fact that this person is human. Nigga's gonna fuck up, people are gonna suck up. Not everyone's gonna be I also.

Think, just to be a little hotepy, but I actually think forgiveness is like the foundation anal of being able to be loyal. So you're saying, like, don't put me in a position to like.

Now when I say I have to forgive you, it's not because when you actually just text you and you probably had a conversation on a Wednesday while you were at the hairdresser, right when I say forgive me, bro, it's like you're doing so.

But that's the thing though, and I think you see this is how much monogamy. Wait, the fact that that came out of your mouth for me, I don't even think. And maybe because that's not the foundation of the loyalty in my relationship. Sure, my shit is like, were you not showing up for me? Were you not keeping me focused? I've too seen your parents. Were you not keeping up with my mama, making sure we're good our family, like, this is what was boyfriend here? You got to guess?

I need to say that if the wind blows anyway, you're her boyfriend.

I realize. Literally, I used to say, boyfriend is someone who three months, let's be exclusive, your my boyfriend. I'm not in a relationship. It was like, no, we basically exclusive, Like, let's just only date each other seriously to see if this is it. And now I'm starting to see that boyfriend can be deeper than that. And while you're saying, do we need a pit stop before marriage? Yeah? Are you good at this? Right now? Are you good at being my boyfriend? Now? Before I make a lie?

Since when did meet and other humans become a talent show?

Oh? What do you mean I mean when I said exclusive?

No? Are you good at this? He wants to when did dating?

I think as a man, I think as another human that encounters you. I'm just supposed to witness your movie. You feel me? I think when we interact with each other, it's just like flashes of light that that hit each other. Like I'm not. I'm not supposed to come here ready to serve or audition in all of my tricks. You're supposed to watch me and my manhood.

I was just thinking, you do men not expect women to do exactly that, though, But I mean I don't.

I was before I walked in this door. I'm like, I'm showing up too.

Well.

Yeah, well, I don't mean exchanging service. What I mean is like, I don't think I need to demonstrate my capabilities to you directly for you to realize if I have them or not.

I do, Yes, yes, yes you do.

I'm not about that you're going to be a good father, Yeah, You're going to be a good partner or yeah No, No, I.

Need to see it like you though.

You like the car that I have, the house that I have, the job that I have, the relationships with my family and my friends in my community that I already have could be No, I mean, I just mean, like all of these things matter, right, Okay? Where is my box spring in relation to my bed? Is it on the floor? Does it have like a frame around it? Do I have hands hooels and disimpacting? Do I have bleach. You know what I'm saying.

There are other things to consider.

But there's a myriad of things to consider. But how the way those things do I have to demonstrate? No, do I have to demonstrate to your benefit for you to prove that I have those capabilities to me?

To me, here's the thing. The way you show up with your family is one way. The way you show up at work is another. The way you maintain your household is another. However, the way that men show up in relationships and how they treat a woman is going to be different than how they show up with their homeboys and every which way in their lives. A talent show, and you know what, it was testing me too.

So you swallowing before the ring.

Oh, I'm swallowing. I'm looking ass, I'm sucking balls I'm doing that's crazy. But let me just say this too. When you mentioned like a test before marriage.

Yes, I've heard one other person to say this besides him, but I was kind of feeling like, you know, when you're you know, and women, we all go through this. Are we together not together yet? And do he need to ask me or whatever? Right? And after commitment he said, if you thinks to me, like I really needed to see all these emotions out of you anger, upset, not just you angry? Are anger at me? Yeah? Well, who the fuck are you when you're mad? When you're happy, like.

When you're drunk?

And I don't think you can figure that out that quick. You really got to see phases. I agree, Yes, you know what I'm saying, Like, but.

Do I have to own you during these phases? Or can I just witness you wow in these moments? Like why does there like a lot of people say when I be like Mike, I mean they be like Mike, how can I know if he's a husband material if he's not my boyfriend? I just mean, like your ownership to each other in terms of like your ability to

Is they had once.

I'm good, Okay, so not for some people.

Some people they get to this point right. And I started to notice it, Like when I was in my mid thirties and I was dating women who were also in their mid thirties, but their intentions kind of changed. It's like, Mike, I want you to come in and I want you to prove to me that your husband material because I'm thirty six. I'm thirty seven, I got great hair on my kuchi, and I'm ready to settle down. My periods ain't coming like how they're supposed to.

My mom is on.

Some shit, like cause she's seventy and she don't know if she gonna see grandkids. So no, I'm not trying to go to turks with you. I'm trying to sit down and do like couples counseling. I'm like, I just met you four months ago. I don't even know what you like in the wintertime because we only you know what I'm saying.

Get that out. So to your point, you just said something about why can't we mingle a date with other people or whatever it's like, But then to put the height of as if that was very casual, to put the height of loyalty. Then when you're in a committed relationship, like no, I think mingling and doing all that stuff means you're not focusing and pouring into me, because at the end of the day, most we've.

Ever been to college. Excuse me, have you ever been to college?

Yes?

Have you ever taken more than one semester at a time because you have to come home and study math and religion and social studies and everything.

I don't think I class.

I mean, but what I'm saying is I think the human brain is capable of focusing on two things. You have a two bubble gum and walk at the same time, all of these, all of these attributes and things. A lot of times we don't.

If you're focusing on two things at the same.

Time, how purposeful can you be?

How intentional are you being? If you're focusing on those things at the same time. I'm not looking at Mandy when I'm talking, so if I took my eyes off of you, that would mean I'm not that interested or serious about a conversation. I'm very intentional when I do things. I pour into people when I'm talking to them, speaking to them. If my attention diverts, I'm out of it.

So it's not like both of these girls are sitting on my couch at the same time. All I mean to say is like, there there are the same way a woman can be a mother, a student and an employee in a day. Is the same way that I could go to lunch with you and have a forty five minute phone call with Holo.

Hold on, I want to get to the Manila ship. But you know what this sounds like, Mike, You might not be as monogamous as you motherfucking thing because you are here one.

Juggle different you selling is given it. You don't want to juggle b I already let me know that you had a little home that you is alone after.

That hotel.

I want to get into our vanilla, share our vanilliha It sex in the news, and we talked about cohabitating, living with other people just a little bit. And there is a woman on a Reddit thread who is letting everyone know that she is divorcing her husband because he screws jar lids on two tights. Now, I want to get into this just a little bit because within the reddit thread people felt as though he was doing it in ten and that's the reason why she wants to

Years, because you know, when that little shit, I feel like.

It's something else. I feel like it gotta be something else. I feel like the dick she's getting on this side is something else. Do you think that's what it is?

Okay?

So I wanted to ask that in terms of being someone for six weeks, six months, three years, or in any of your past relationships, has there, at any point over time or even in the beginning, been something so minute about her and that you're like, I can't be with this person because they do this little thing and it bothers me.

So fucking much.

Like I'm not gonna lie I started dating a guy or not dating y'all know, I just be fucking these thinkers. But one guy would come over. What I mean, I dated the shut up. Anyways, there was one guy that would come over and never put the fucking seat down. Oh I hate that bitch, I literally, and then I had to start talking to him like he was my child. First off, this is my house. This is the house of a woman. You going to use the bathroom and

I already told I really feel like that's no home training.

Is that?

Is that what it is?

Cause that's how the man be chivalrous and lift the seat up and keep it.

Up and keep it up right, Like now I'm judging here.

I feel like you don't do that. I feel like I feel like you look like a man that pussed to see you put the seat down after you piss right, you're thinking about it, you don't you don't seem like a guy that would leave it up in a woman's house. You just don't.

I don't really go over women's houses, Okay, Okay. Two thousand and nine, I woke up. I went to a women's house. I woke up and one of my good friends was at the foot of the bed. I did not know it was his baby mom. And I've never been back to that.

Wasn't a good friend. If you ain't know whose baby mama was.

Well no, I mean, but it was a different sort of thing, like I don't be checking for you who your baby mom is, you know, and niggas hiby baby mom talk about that and I am saying and I'm not. I'm not. I spent like a hundred days he ever done, no story, had the son, he had his son with. It was really bad. I seen her in the club.

So we go home and how you been trying to get her for years?

Well, like it's the line outside.

Uh.

So I get to you when I get to you. But I finally got to her, and then I was like, you know, I'm.

Is this l A.

No, this is Philly?

This is that is Wait?

Did this happen in l A?

No?

This was this was Philly?

And wait he just said, hey, Mike, like, what was the interaction.

With damn bro?

For real?

That's crazy?

Was it because she got some dick last night? Or was it because it was yours?

This is mix?

And then the kid was there.

The kid was there, like, wait, the kid and the kid was with the baby daddy.

The kid was with the baby daddy. She was so fried that she didn't even remember that young boy was coming home the next day or that her baby father even had keys. She was just so oh my god, my this is and she actually it did happen to la. I ain't gonna put that on Philly.

You saying this? Tell me, I don't remember what show he was watching another night? Was some crazy baby mama should have it? And I looked at this nigga, you would get mad about something my motherfucker can't do. I'm looking at him, Yeah, putting the seat shoes. Would motherfucking leave me with a baby, bitch, he was like God, I was like, I never gonna have this shit happened to me. Hell no, only one break. I'm having this medio. Let me tell you something, baby mama, baby daddy drama.

Yo. This is my last girlfriend September last year. I was in love. She was beautiful. I feel like the baby father just wasn't going for it. He was one of them. Over my dead body. Niggas.

Oh what's your sign?

Dollars?

We're not gonna do that.

I know.

That's why said dollar sign.

If I if my emotions are striking her, you're if you not a pcey email nigga?

What are you you want to show? I'm gonna show you my coach star for ten dollars.

I don't go to tuck about the other ones. What's the main? What's your birthday?

I'm gonna scorpio?

Oh your water signed? Okay water?

Now that's what we're doing. I don't know with at me.

Scorpios are from what I've heard. Obviously we all know their amazing lovers. They also are very thank you. They kind of like, well, they could be considered deceitful or guarded because they they don't really show.

Who they are, that's given gem.

But the water means they pour out so many.

I'm a river, you know what. I Am not playing they go way used to. So I said the toilet seate real quick. Is there anything that both of you feel like it's so small that you wouldn't continue dating somebody if they did?

I was going to agree with you that one. What's yours with women? No, I think it's hygiene, hygiene that that's not small.

That is actually hygiene, that is a part of hygiene.

See, I'd be like, oh de with it. Like I think a lot of my early loves were like super super neat, you know, like like they really loved themselves and they was when they was young girls.

So now it's like, damn, bro.

You think lack of hygiene is a lack of a woman's security or love of herself? Yeah, or just or just maybe not?

No, I think I think people that love themselves with it depends.

On the age an age, the age like you know, like it's a lot of young girls that don't be showered. Like you can see him at a day party, then you can see him at the bar around half I mean you can't.

I'm joking for party, where are we going?

I ain't a little function out like you got. You know what I'm saying. I can't see you at two pm at the brunch at the same leg as the two am Hookah Johnny, and you will twelve hours since.

First off, I live in New York. Ain't nobody commuting from the boroughs back home back to the borough No, I'm sorry, I go Philly.

I'll say this when it comes to cleanliness and like seeing if someone's showered, if they're kept up. I've spent time with friends, man, with anybody, and I've kind of noticed the showering habits and I don't want to refresh. Okay, I noticed that. To me, summertime, outdoor, all day shit, that don't count. But I do think that when you don't make it a happen. I even notice teeth brushing

Yeah, Like I don't want to go deep dive on shower, right, it's really about the whole aesthetic. It's like, how do you lotion regularly? Like what's your morning routine? Does it involve a toothbrush and mouthwash? Damn, you got the kills for the face. Like that's excellent.

You know who don't be showering that much? I believe it the white one of ours?

Who's one of ours? The waste speed girls don't do that. Don't talk about the wastebeed girls do.

Not do that. I don't know.

Youboty, get on the instant where everybody know.

That's my type of nigga.

And I like them girls, the waste speed guys.

I'm saying, like the girls and the guys going in the hind that they're kind of saying, right, the waste speed girls. I don't know if it's because everybody using deodamant that isn't necessarily store bought, give it up, get the cancer them girl. I go to a little black part. I don't know what it is. The essentials are not ascension, those oils ain't doing it, and some of them been a little funky. I think we need to go with the girl who's slabbing it off.

Do you also think maybe it's they're hairy and like they don't shave in the same places like the under arms be under They may.

Be too listen to this podcast, but one of you bit just in here. No, no, no, because we've had some people be like, oh, like you guys talk about girl shall put that ship on La Merk Park in l a ship bro just buy the shade, butter, don't buy the deodor. And he's a liar.

Please get the aluminum.

How do you want to live with you? Stop it? No bullshit, bullshit.

The hotel niggas wiping them bitches.

Up and they like it. I don't lie.

They aren't funky. It's given a flight.

The cleanest w HOTEP that I know personally, it's probably Wolf. Wolf works at w TFBDI Students New York and Mandy and I work with him too. I ain't never smelled him. However, the way he be talking seems like he don't seem.

Like he don't watch that PC.

Don't he seem like one of them? He do? You know?

If my sister called me and told me that her husband still puts the jars on tight after five years, I would tell her to leave this nigga. Really sorry we had to circle back. Well, no, I mean I just think. I just think that, like I'm a principal sort of guy, Like the action could be like, you know, Sharlotte was fucked, but it's the principle behind the action that carries up, you know, so for five years.

I don't care, especially she's expressed it.

If I've expressed it. It's your inability to change, you know, or to listen.

So I was just I was, well, I.

Mean people like I hate the word listen because listen only involves your ear drums then, and you can't turn off your sound, Like I hate when women when you argue with a woman and she'd be like did you hear me? Like you're not even listening to me? Like I wish there was a button guy could create that I could just mute circle.

But then there's comprehension. I was just walking the park with my homegirl, and there's conversations right now where we think a proposal is coming. So we're literally talking about what the ringo look like.

Right.

She don't want nothing gaudy, she said, all diamonds are blood diamonds, so she don't want a real like nothing like, no real diamond.

I'm good, but this she won't have been made by a ten year old kid. Give me, she said, literally?

Literally did?

She said?

I don't wear silver, saw, I want a gold band, something with gold. She said, if he proposes, If he proposes and it's not a gold band and it's a real diamond, I know that he's doing this for him and not for me, and that can't be my husband. And I was just like, oh, I guess that's the way to start.

But no disrespect to your homegirl. Yeah, And I have a lot of thoughts about this, Okay, I am so tired of the stipulations that women put on men with tiny, minute things. I'm gonna tell you why. First of all, when it comes to engagement rings. Right, I don't know if she verbade him said the words I want gold. All I wear is gold.

She said she didn't want white gold. She knows that white gold looks silver.

Right. If a man knows I wear gold, My man knows I wear gold, but happened to get me a silver ring, right, just for context. Traditionally speaking, most wedding bands are white gold or silver. Yes, that man is probably in the store super excited talking to the clerk, figuring out what would work like. No, not the person for you. You know what, this person made a choice to do this. You know what changeable. Hold on, bitch,

The birthday. The birthday fucking party. When I said I did not want a birthday party, I said I wanted to go to a spot, I did not want friends around. I did not want a group of people around. And what did he do? Throw me a goddamn surprise party with all my friends. And literally I was pissed because I literally the one thing I said I didn't want you went and did, and he made it about well,

This is really asshole though.

No, no, no, no, but so is somebody who goes in and does is not even wise enough to know my shorty like goal. So I'm gonna get her the gold situation, get me what I want? Like this, this whole ceremony of courting to ring to wedding is all about her movie. This is her movie, and I don't care if I don't care if the only thing that she picked out about this thing was the color cut and clarity of her ring.

Wait you should get that, you guys said, all.

She does is wear a goal. She never verbade them, said she wanted to. No, no, no.

This was a conversation that they've already had, so literally we were having the conversation and she was like, bro, Like a part of me is like if my ring is not gold. After we've had this conversation, I know the ring is for you and it's not for me. You're not being considerate of what I want. You're not listening to the things I want, And are those characteristics that I want in a party moving forward? Like that's the thing we talked about the as small as just

I don't want to be in a.

Relationship with anyone who I feel like, intentionally now is playing in my face or wants to hurt me. Those flowers, the birthday party, A lot of things I felt like were intentional. I don't want to tell I don't want you.

I guess I don't want you. Gesture it's hard to go from Here's the thing with tightening a lid, right, you know, it's something that annoys somebody. But nice gestures as parties, flowers, rings, those are difficult.

It's hard to talk about your ex because he's.

So trash, all these niggas is no no, no, really no he is he is, and his fake cancer. But oh we're gonna get into it because I just do deep for a horrible decision.

I want.

I don't know what you thought about you last night because this girl was in tears crying about how a man lied to her about a sickness, and I was I thought I was listening to It's awful, and I was like, I don't want to bring up another person right now, while his whole crime. But like these niggas. These niggas is to say that, to say, when nice gestures are done and maybe someone didn't do it to your liking, there's this thing of like, damn, well, what can I do to make you happy? You know what

By the way, I ain't never used the word my new as much as we just did in the last ten minutes. I don't even use that in my regular thing, like my regular cab Blarry minute. Anyway, before we get into a horrible decision because I ran into my ex and I want to talk about soul ties and soulmates and negative energy. I would love for you to give a sex tip. This is our horror derve. Do you have a sex tip that you can give to our audience?

Do I have a sex tip?

Yes?

Two in the pink, all right, I'm not like two two in the pink, one in the stink. Oh okay, you've never heard them? Yeah, yeah, But I just don't know how you would do it. It's like this actually is thumb normally, Wait, that's what is it like? Right, Well, I could never do that because both my thumbs be long, so I don't.

I don't. I gotta shot my thumb in the butt because it just feels like just enough GIRs.

You know, it's crazy. I never put a thumb in the butt. I know, like future said, I'm gonna put my thumb and uh, but I don't even think I've had a thumb in my butt. If you been niggas over the thought I had it. So niggas put thumbs in the bus, but I don't be putting.

They put them on the bus because it's easy with the grip.

Oh and I don't be gripping. Okay, I don't be gripping niggas. I put these in the butt. Like even it really actually starts with the middle finger. I do middle finger in the butt, and then when it's all consensual, it is all consensual. But because oftentimes in the air, their legs are in the air, I'm right here, so legs are in the air, my head is on their dick,

Hold on.

I'm not lying.

Hold on, I'm telling you, I just hold on. No, no, no, both, But I.

Gotta make it way if we ain't gotten a love nearby. So I I wait it up. I waited up, make sure that the buddle hole opening, get it in, and then I will probably really bring it back out and spit on both fingers.

And they try to fit two figures in there.

Yeah, like you know do too. Anyway, let's get into the horrible decision because I want to share this story with y'all because the time came. Uh Vinnie asked you.

About it when we were in France, and I.

Like, demons exists with these niggas. So went to the layout when I got back from Okac, and as y'all know, it has been now May third, twenty twenty three is when I broke up with this nigga. So it has been now a year and two months. You know why I know because we went on Breakfast Club two days later.

You know, maybe if your goofy ass wasn't out hope.

The show.

No, I would never bring anything.

Oh I'm not gonna lie to you, Andy. I love to sit now right.

I would do a chance, no receipt and I got don't do that, oh bitch, and do I thought?

But I like you hold on.

So I'm at the layout and every for the listeners, new or old, y'all know, this is my first real relationships. So we were together for three years and when we broke up. Have not seen him since, have not run into him, have not been in the same space as him, thank god, until the layout. So I'm at the layout. Mind you, he has not been there the last two years I've gone. So this is not a place at all.

Without being reminded of him. And so I saw him and.

I go like, we gotta go, we gotta go, we gotta go. So I called Antonet and I'm like, bitch, I just saw this nigga. She's like, you can go if you want. Do you want me to come get you. I'm like, no, there, no, he did. It was all psychological. He's never he's never laid his hands on me. He cheated, but I found out the cheating after the fact, and but psychologically it was. We broke up thirteen times, and I ended up looking into narcissism. But literally, anytime I

I hope you get the cans.

Listen me too, bitch. I ain't even gonna hold you so so listen.

So I'm like, we gotta, like, let me tell you something.

Listen.

Why did we euthanize dogs and shit, Oh, bitch, I will not even euthanized. You know, the nigga eats neutered, but neoter to where you topped the and the dick. I wanted to walk around like Kendall.

Can I ask you a question? And this has maybe not so much for you, so don't. Okay, take it in a personal way, but how how much bill are we going to keep giving co stars in these sad movies?

No? No, no, I don't I don't want the bell. I'm not gonna lie.

Wait, what you're saying, Mandy needs to say no, no, no no.

And I've taken responsibility. And what I'm saying is seeing this man after this long and what yes, mind you I've I've went through therapy. I'm very aware that I chose to go back all those times. I chose to keep wanting to see, which is also weird because from a humane point, right, if you go back to taking us out of relationships, we're also taught to see the good in someone. We're taught to forgive, We're taught to believe that someone can be a better virgial thing.

Right. I won't say that he is. One of my good friends is single right now and he has been in dumping girls that want more with him. I do it all now. I said this to me, man, and my man was like, but why doesn't he just like reiterated to them like I don't understand, Like now he got no holes because he keeps letting them go. I was like, Yo, this is the sign to me of

After I tell them for the third fucking time.

But let me tell you something. If he wasn't shit, you start to mold this person. You know they need you, you know they don't want to let you go. That is a bad person.

But guess who gives thirteen chances and guess who gets block? No?

No, no, So what he knows the thing though, when someone I'm not trying to call you week, just let me get the oh. When someone is in the dumps of love, right, they let you go, they're like fuck, they feel good for a second and then you come back and you're manipulate. I'm gonna do this right, baby, this and that you know I'm already weak for this person in this moment.

And that's the Stockholm not only no one can make you feel better than you.

I'm just supposed to go to another nigga, you're gonna think about you, go to her friends, go on vacation. No, there's only one thing that pacifies the problem.

It's like drugs, but not only the Stockholm syndrome of that.

I really love about it. Hold on, but I also very intentional when they're no, they're hurting.

It's not only that, it's also for a lot of us. And this is men, men and women. We are also taught that marriage, as well as relationships, take work. They're not easy. Everything's not going to be perfect. If it's a love worth having, you have to fight for it. So all of these ideas, with this being my first relationship, a part of me and seeing a lot of my friends and other relationships and put up with bullshit, a

It's always like, uh.

The hurt song, you know, the one by Summer Walker, and.

Oh you come out to that?

And Summer Walker also singing the most depressing songs of all time and it's literally your cry performing performs picnic, Yes, and that makes me cry.

Yeah, it makes me cry too. That's why I come out to it.

I think a lot of people it brings that emotional worse.

That's why it's so beautiful.

Why do you want to come out to that?

Because people are emotionless? Thank God for things that actually make people feel something, Okay, And this fucking, this numb, ignorant, filthy world.

So bessy about that song. I was watching Summer Walker like performing on YouTube or something, and all I could think is, I don't really like all the BBL stuff on her. I just think she's so beautiful that I kind of hate sometimes, like what culture has become like listening to music like this bitch looks like a fashion over queen. What the fuck is gon be weird?

You could get all the ship done in your body and these niggas still gonna act up.

Bro, don't meddle perfection, all of it injection and it doesn't matter they don't.

I mean, I don't think like I hate that if something goes like anything, any any beauty standard that a woman does in excess, don't don't put that back on the bros. I think a lot for yourselves and for other women, and nobody knows what it's going to do to your body, Like everybody when they go to wherever they go and they tell them what it's supposed to look like. Uh, you know, there's a lot of things that go wrong with making.

Don't you do that today? All well, not all, but most there's like a ig We talked about this a few weeks ago. I think with Julie Ginger, do you think there's like an internet standard of beauty how the girl will look kind of like an ey?

Yeah, but it's all AI. Now all them bitches don't be looking like that.

Well, I think the point is to look like that though filters to get the.

I and then you see him in person and they look nuts.

I really crazy.

Shout out to Wai Speeds. Y'all be funny, not unless they.

Be naturally beautiful. I want to ask. I want to get back to this because after experiencing this, I realized that. And I want to bring this up because I used to refer to him as so may. I at one point did believe he was my soulmate and having that that interaction with my body after just seeing him, made me realize there's some level of soul ties. And I want to talk about a little bit of soul ties, but also energy transference with relationships and casual sex, because

You never fucked the nigga into loom on Memorial Day weekend. No, on the fourth day my Miami Memorial Day weekend, fight weekend, catch.

A nigga on the Sunday went through something. The problem I'm not gonna.

I don't want to transfer like energies with a nigga that I think is battling his own demon.

I will tell you this, I got a nigga, who's there people that maybe aren't drinking or explicitly saying it, it's.

Still battling, yeah, man, But I don't know about him. Let me not know about it, goddamn it.

Because here's the thing. Sometimes when you're on that kind of shiit, what what what you know?

I think a lot of people are too creative with their storytelling, And the most dangerous part is most of the stories they tell are to themselves, right, And we've become so empowered and so free that we think that we we can sell, like we can come up with our own narrative for basically any sort of situation. Now, the beauty in that is because you can prevent yourself

No, no, no, no, no no. He might have got that. I get that vendor, but you drink too. No no, no, I do.

But what's crazy about you even saying that is in my dating currently and in how men have been showing up for me recently. In dating, I'm very adamant with only giving people the time of day that I feel like deserve it. So, yes, he went on a binger. I don't like the three days or the fact that he went and I feel like keep battling something cool. However, in the same breath, I'm also in a place where you didn't respond for three days. You didn't roll out

So yeah, I could.

Say it's one of two things, But yeah, to me, I know what I want from a partner or a casual sex encounter or friends with benefits, but I don't.

Really want that first.

I get it.

You started this story off with the with the dick roller decks. But it's like it's like it's like when you pulled this card out of the dick roller decks, you know, not the not the kinetic friendship, like right, not the spiritual bond, like you're only you're only flipping

Of loo I have for things you're making me think of right now.

But that's the delusion.

I won't I want one? Do you need? I want to know when what was the text you sent into I want to bring something up. My man told me about a girl that he fucks with this time of time. Whatever happens right like curly, like if he wants to like fucking random is hit. I travel a lot, so but this is something we discussed again. So he's like, yo, he's like this.

Girl boyfriend, call him something else.

I don't need to call him something else. That's the boyfriend. So he says, this girl was like bugging on him about communication.

He's like, I'm really seeing here looking at my phone, like I.

Told you I got to short you, Like I don't. I can't get back to you right now. He's like, it was crazy to me that I set this very friends with benefits. If I fuck you, I fuck you relationship with this person. He's like, we're not dating. I've never taken her out. It's just been sex. And she was mad that I couldn't write her back quick enough. He said, I don't understand how the standard became communication when I've just been fucking and not doing shit else.

Can give you? But not.

No, bro, like mind you.

We were face timing when I just had a layover in Atlanta. Nigga called me three times back to back face time and I had to check them the next morning, Like, bro, unless you did, I said, you alive nigga, because don't you ever call me three times back on respond to oh no, it was like multiple texts, let me see,

Was a what did you initially text that he didn't response to.

No, But we were face timing. It wasn't a text. It was just like that I'm gonna be there, be there next week this time, and he didn't answer.

No.

He called me the last time he called me on face time, I didn't four o'clock in the morning.

In three days. What was this last communication? Hold on made you so upset?

Hold on? Well, the fact that we spent an hour on FaceTime making plans for this week that I'm here, and you go the whole week before I come here without talking about it wasn't a week, you.

Said, it was three days?

Still long enough.

What was it that he didn't respond to that?

But the reason why he because.

He left me all read. I said, you leave me on red raggedy. Then he said, yo, this was but see I don't know the dates now it says Monday, Saturday, Saturday, Monday, Monday, Tuesday, Tuesday later no regardless, noo, But like like, I don't care. I didn't like the communication effort. You not gonna get in my faith, layup with me and be in my pussy if you wasn't.

But see that wasn't a dick roller decks that was fucking unsolved mysteries, right, you know what I'm saying, Like, I just I just feel like I feel like that what fucks us up in our head is how we think things are supposed to be. And most of his damage is done before we even interact with another human being. And most and I think a lot of times we set people up for failure because we don't even give them the whole play. We just give them the offensive line.

We're saying right before, and to his point, right before that you didn't want to fuck with someone that was energetically on a vendor. Now it's the standards you have.

But but why can't two things exist? I genuinely do not want to deal with someone.

Me with your friends. But me, let's be me, drinking.

With my friends did not leave me unresponsive to the people, the niggas, the friends, my family that I care about. So that's one thing. Hold on and me drinking or having fun is not me being on a binge, me literally not sleeping because I'm drinking, I'm partying. I'm exuding this level of behavior. I can drink, I can have a drink. That's not a problem. At the same time, now that I'm casually dating one thing that I wasn't doing.

Are you are you no?

No, and we're not going to do this.

No man, no to me if you're just fucking a nigga.

To me, if I'm just fucking a nigga, I still want the common courtesy, human decency of you responding to me and not leaving me on red for three days, especially knowing I'm coming to your city. Bro, I get it. Sorry, anybody that I'm gonna hope my.

Legs laying about like my volume, like Beard Bay cut me off for like a or six months because he said I didn't text backward. But I get that. I'm like, bro, okay, but you're not my nick like, get over it. I'd'm sorry, but when people make me beholden to like answering on their time, but it's not even mean to me literally with my friends all weekend. Let's just say it's a birthday weekend. I'm having a good time. Okay, I'll get to you when I get to you. I don't.

I don't, and that's up to me.

I'd like to get to work text. I get it.

I get it, but I don't expect. I don't expect mind you of response within an hour. If we are actively talking, I'm coming to your city. You supposed to lay up and be up inside of me. You not responding for days on end. I'm sorry. There's no way that you deserve at this point, my time, my pussy,

I text you.

But if you go three four days without hitting me a week before I'm coming to your city, you are not someone that I need to give my time to.

If that's your standard. Cool, However, I just think we are putting a lot of rules on casual. It's human. I think deity deserves that. I don't think fucking does shit. I don't you gonna be in my pussy? You got if I'm give him shit pussy next weekend July fourth weekend and I don't hit them back this week whatever, like if all we talk about is sex.

We don't only talk about sex, we talk about his kid work, nigga, you got me on FaceTime even caring about your motherfucking Oh sorry, there's a guy.

I mean, y'all really don't need nobody else. But no, like check that was crazy, but it's brilliant. It's brilliant.

It wasn't a debate, bro.

I mean, I think if that didn't happen with your ex and you weren't in that mode, if I.

Wasn't thirty three and grew to fuck up and say, these niggas don't deserve pussye, But.

Wait a minute, all right, A couple of things, A couple of things, A couple of things right for me?

I mean, because I want to be treated well.

I think I think. I think Mandy gives pussy. I think some women just get dick, and those are those are those are different things.

Andy's actually giving the dick in this scenario, Yo, come, no, no.

No, but no no, actually she's not like if.

You lover, if you're someone that's showing up for sex, women giving you an experienced nigga.

No, I mean, you know there are like in my own personal life, any casual sex I've had is like it would be like I'm talking to a woman in DM for like a year and a half. I finally our schedules, finally connecting, we're in the same city at the same time, and then we fucked. Or it might be like an ex girlfriend who doesn't want to move on and actually fucking new nigga, but she's okay with fucking me even though we're not in a relationship. That's

She just wants.

Now, when a woman wants dick, she will go to her nearest nightclub, motherfucking car wash, wherever, wherever dix are so and to be like, you know what givings like, Listen, it don't gotta be free, Like if a nigga gives you great dick, you should put fifty. You remember y'all had the love guy in here and he was like, yo, I fucked the bank teller. Jason Love right, Jason Love told me that if you fucking bank Taeller good and you count of fucked up, she should bless you for

That kept me so happy.

And that's what I'm saying crazy, But no, that was But like I think most women have to ask themselves when they're when they engage, when they when they get that they they dick roller DECKX moment they got asked them, am I trying to get fucked? Or am I trying to actually give my pussy to somebody I feel like cares about me. And if you don't have your mind made up about that, you're gonna set You're gonna set other people up.

For get like it's super emoi and for the most like you don't want to let me be emo.

That's what we have.

But I think that's the point, like that I'm trying to make so like I'm so emotional in sexual encounters that I've sometimes ruined what it's just a sexual encounter men that I don't want to date men that I don't want to spend more time with them that I know is a bad investment of my time. I feel like because I've had those parameters and not just a text or whatever they like I'm talking about, maybe I've had like rules or whatever set it's kind of kept

Oh, it ain't keeping me away from niggas. I just said, I ain't gonna.

See you, right, I.

Mean, do maybe people want these these other than monogamous bonds, Like I don't think a lot of people really want full blown casual sex.

I don't either.

I think a lot of people don't. And I think I think we I think we did people, but I think we all. I think we all march to that drum like as like like if if culture at the highest is in entertainment and the music, all the music suggests that you know, we can fuck niggas just because they give us money, and then we can fuck hose because they just look good and they want to be around. But I don't think people like on the day to day. I don't think people can actually handle that.

I complete. I think men can't either.

There's a lot of women I wanted them to call me back.

If we're going to ask for something casual and we want this casual exchange, we can't then say it has to come with X y Z.

Why not?

Why not?

Because that's not casual. That's if you want me to clean my crib and have roses on the table before you come get dick. You did not come over here for dick. You came from romance, and romance is different than tell.

Me what y'all think about this scenario that's happening into a homegirl mind claims she's had the best stick in her life, hates that he sends her an uber and she pulls up. She has now added this stipulation, but after about four months, she would prefer at least they have a meal together and go out and get drinks. This niggas like, that's that you want me to take you on a date before I fucking get some pussy that I ain't going and we're like all we do

Had but casual sec he now wants to date him to.

Know se, I don't know that.

I think she just wants something else wants.

I didn't think she wants to date him. I think she just she wants to.

She doesn't feel good about it, right, But no, But that's what I'm saying in my what you for our twenties, I was so fine with that, And that's why I'm saying even this person, Yes, it's as small as a text back, I text doesn't count, no, but what I'm saying is too. Even in my encounters of casual sex, now I know the things that I like is romance.

Sorry, wrong phone.

This, this uh dealing with two phones thing is kind of crazy.

Who got two phones?

Me? I got two? One for the whole you want to say, you know, well.

She that's like ipassed. When I first came a.

Well she left, she basically left a comment under your page and here it goes right here she said that no, that's wrong too. Basically anyway, don't know where the fuck is at, but she basically said that romance is actually the bare minimum and is in terms of your interaction with somebody. And I think, to me, again, the flowers

I don't want to I don't. I just want to say I don't want to shit on you at this because as someone that's required.

Right and now I do, I wasted my time.

I got in so many little like things of self worthiness about if a man wasn't doing these things before he fucked me, and I think it was simply ridiculous because I genuinely just wanted to fuck. I knew I wanted someone deeper, smarter, maybe just better at all aspects of life, or someone that was a better fit for me. I get.

But for some reason, I was really sitting here like.

I can't fuck with him because he didn't do this.

I mean, I think it's the bfing.

I've been dickless, not right now. I had been dickless for funds because I was doing shit like that. So I just feel like, oh no, if someone is safe and respectful, yes, nigga, that's enough. I get that.

I just realized in ending my relationship the same way. Right, when you have sex, you want your dick suck, right, You like for your dick to get sucked if you're gonna have sex.

Right, will you know manny?

Oh no, let me finish, let me finish.

No, no no.

Will you have sex with somebody you want them to kiss you right, Okay. So to me, what I realized from my last relationship, the intimacy that I obtained actually fulfilled me more than the dick.

So what's that one moment? So one moment?

So when I so, when I broke up with when I broke up with my ex and went back to twenty four to seven, well, we had sex, even though it was top three of the sex, I felt empty after. So to me, now, if I'm gonna if I'm gonna have sex with someone, though these aren't sexual things, it's the things that within my mind make my pussy drip. But were you always feeling empty?

No?

But that's what I'm saying. I experienced with my ex, the things, the going out and getting drinks, the talking, the laying hold on, let me finish, Let me finish. Because because because I am such a sexual being and because I've had this nasty, freaky, wild sex, I can

But I'm saying if the expectation you have if a man doesn't do it, I think that you being no because you experienced love and now your standardship, well no, because you don't have a boyfriend right now. You need these niggas to fill the gap. It's not even filling the gap as much as this is.

If I'm gonna lay up with you and give you my time and give you my pussy to me, the things that actually fulfill me and make me feel good are those little things outside of it.

That's why, and that's.

Why I communicate that.

That's why romance can never be the bare minimum.

Bitch. I ain't gonna lie.

That was a circle back because I was kind of agreeing with that girl. But you're right, I mean, because clearly it's a lot to ask for it. You're telling me it's a lot to ask for it.

Like I've been, like I've been on this planet before, like you said, but right now, but right now, this time, thirty nine years is time, right, and out of all of the things that they've introduced, like electric cars, diamonds, you know, fucking keyese that doesn't go moldy after forty five days?

The fuck is that?

Like? The best the best invention was like this best friend that you can have sex and create life with. Like I don't care about how if you if you work hard enough, you can become like a doctor who can actually like crack. Like that's cool. But you know what else is cool? Everybody else in my life I inherited, you know that. God, no, none of these people I picked. Yeah, but I but guess what, guess what I can do? Like you know, just like they've invented like fucking polyester

Like that like that.

So when you when you have that, the fact that the fact that we like when we connect, it's like what, I don't mind. Like I could have a connection with a dog, but it doesn't arouse me sexually, but woman does. So I can communicate with women, I can creep pro create with women like it's the most beautiful thing that ever existed. But the only thing that stops you from just being my homie is the romance.

And you know what, but romance for some men and maybe not for you, because you seem just someone who applies a lot to give obviously throughout your work too. Romance for some men is not for that connection is a lot to ask.

But so so Spanish. So is a Spanish customs form to somebody who never got it in high school? What you're missing? It's like, well, you know, I guess, I guess, like I kind of try to have analogies because I want people to take their same logic and introduced it to any other area of life, of life. Uh oh no,

You know what, I think it's wrong. I believe it's taught. I think I think we all all win and have had to do a service with one.

Nick yes to tea you gotta teach.

You gotta teach your ex girlfriend that nigga's so good, random flowers all the time. Thank you girl. You gotta find out who I am yet, because you're probably going deep in the pictures and being like this bitch. But yeah, I learn it from when I was my ex last one. Just you learn it from women. I actually believe this is why men need homegirls, female friendship and kinship.

No when they when they took black churches and black community centers. Uh, black people are never as youth. Inner city black kids are never put in an opportunity in a situation other than school where they can develop and fellowship like platonically right, like it's and then even as even as adults, man the networking events are never as crowded as the nightclubs. And we're all in this in this you know romance, like not even romantic, it's just

Kind of wash that shit out.

But at a certain age, right, I can no longer be responsible, like just I have to take ownership over my own rearing, Like as a twenty two year old man, if I didn't have certain qualities, it would be a lot easier for me to blame my parents or you know, just you know.

But at forty So with that said, yeah, to rap it.

To rapid, because we gotta.

Go no, no, no, just like actually, because I really am curious from what you're on right now. Sure, if a woman and you have a casual sexual relationship.

Casual sexual relationship.

And romance is something she's requiring, do you feel like that's too much to add.

I think even my casual sex comes with romance because I don't that the pleasure of pen tration is great, but the viscosity is I'm.

Gonna use that. That's a good one, dis.

B I s see, oh see why that sounded right, nigga?

At one point you think that that most should.

Well, a lot of a lot of people were taught how to how to talk to desire sex separate from romance. I thought sex for me was always the result of my romance. Like I was writing poems and cooking for women before I kissed them, and I was, you know what I'm saying, like I had to. I wanted to be romantic because I it felt good for me to be romantic, but I knew it it made them feel good too.

But it was your blur a line for either party?

Of course it does.

It can't finish the question.

I know where shes gonna does it ever?

Blur line for either parties to where it may not be healthy? He is this where we fall into.

Well, yes, yes, the best the love of mone fall into.

But that's where you have to constantly. But that's where talking and listening to me comes into play. It's communication, and we always talk about communication being key, right, We've been saying that from episode one, So to me, when you you have to express the things that you want, what you're looking for, and you have to listen to what this person also wants, but what they're willing to offer as soon as.

I can't handle this. Actually I'm a person that I cannot handle too much romance in casual situations because it's ann casual situation, because it's actually so needed and important for me that I would not know what to do with it. I'm gonna really receive it, you know what I'm saying, You fucking make it?

Are you're scared though? Like? Have you? Have you done the right to ask yourself through? Am I? Am? I? Am? I afraid of going I want to keep the romance at baby, because I'm afraid of going over the cliff hurt, not even being hurt, but just being just unlocking that level of romance to where you get to Wheremandy is and I can't have the sex without the romances. Like is that is that a genuine fear? You know?

Like if I fear, actually it's not her, it's not that, it's more about I know that people have an understanding. Let's just say we're gonna start fucking right, and I know you're a poet type of dude. I know you're gonna have the candles out. If you started doing those things for me, the lines would be blurred because this is simply something that turns you on as a part of sex. You're that type of guy scorpio or whatever. I'm gonna be like, Oh, this feels amazing. I would

So you can because you can't comp I've compartmentalized especially sex like often, like I've had sex because I was drunk and just wanted to have fun. I ate pussy because I just wanted to eat pussy, not that it was anything more than that, and in my twenties whether it was transactional.

Shut up. Likely.

So so because I've been able to compartmentalize sex as something that genuinely makes me feel good. Now that I'm able to even add the levels of romance that make me feel good, says don't make me say why you? Steven said, I wish I could have sex like you? Right, everybody more shit like it is. This is cannot do this.

I ain't trying to do the ship like my homegirl asking for my homegirl wants to do to start doing things that make her feel more of a human being when in reality, but see that because she doesn't, she doesn't find the value of just being someone's sex fuck buddy. Right to me though, this is to me a patriarchal thing.

You know, No, I get it, I get it. But there's also, like I said, there's a layer. Then she needs to sit with herself.

Is it is she need to sit with a nigga?

I feel like doing it? Hit me how great it is you were able to call me on the way back from Yeah, I just got it and going and I just got fucking.

Now, how are you going to say at your job paying twenty two without asking for twenty five?

Point? Is if you decided, hey, I'm casual. We're casual. This isn't going beyond this.

Yesterday's price is not today's.

Price, period, Please period, It's the price when I signed on.

No matter.

So here's the thing to all women that she wants him to take her on a date or to feed her, whatever, whatever the case may be. Right as women, if you express that you need something or that you want something, and this man is like, I ain't got it for you. That now becomes her responsibility if this man is not willing to give her what she wants, like me.

So what's happening on this? And she feels so down like because she's like, I can't believe he won't do this for me. She's feeling bad about herself. I'm like, girl, it's literally learning with men. He's about to get into a thing with you because now y'all are taking this bedroom shit out in the real world and it's gonna turn into something headache.

If you if you you gotta can, Can we normalize sticking dick and girls you wouldn't feed just to stick your dick? And a woman like I don't understand that. If if I've gotten the opportunity to sleep with a woman without food for time and her only up the price is like, yo, can we get a two for forty at the sizzler before we step to that crib getting down?

Well, I hanging with no sizzler.

Bit I mean, but I mean I regardless, like bro, like I will, I will feed you dick, but not postive.

Anyways, Mike, thank you so much for joining us.

Thank you so much.

Can you please let everyone know where they can follow you, where they can support you, and also your book that you got.

Yes, all right, So my name is just Mike the Poet. You can follow me on all platforms, Just Mike the Poet, j U S T M I K E T H.

E p o E. What's your cash? We need to send you some shoes.

Dollar dollar signs the Poet.

I know that's right.

If you want some bonus content, make sure you head on over to our patreon his patreon dot com.

Thanks horrid bled This is the Yons.

We have a lot of good stuff over there, and I'm making it now too to where Weezy and I go on a lot of other podcasts, and so if you just want to see where're at, that's posted on there. We have bonus content. I'm taking live calls. We do town halls every goddamn month. So go ahead and join us, support us. We love y'all. This has been yet another episode of Horrior Decisions.

Bye bye, it's bonus bitches, catch up, yalla.

Behind the paywall is such a nice place to talk about yourself because our YouTube.

They'd be like damn bitch, you crying again, y'all. I ain't been runing a long time. Y'all can suck my diff from the back. That's that's what the fuck I see.

I'm trying to think. Hold on, when's the last time I cried?

The last time I cried was on Patreon when I was going through all that goddamn bullshit with that bitch, I can talk about something emo all right now, you could be chemo.

So BT weekend came. My boyfriend came to LA and I don't really talk about my dad too much because for me, I don't like to really talk about his health and you know, he's getting older. But I was so emotional because he met my dad and my dad was just having a hard day. You know older people like they got a good day, they got a bad day. So he just needed a little care and stuff like that.

We hadn't really talked about it.

I just told him how much it meant to me. Last night we were on a double date. He said, we talked to a couple that just got married. We just went to their wedding. It was Gila. Y'all always hear me talk about the other Guila. So basically we talked about each other's parents and he was like, yeah, I just got to meet her dad, and it was so nice to see how that side of her is. Like I see her mom and her but I was glad to see her dad, Like I see the more

Empathetic or what.

But like, I never had conversations like this outside of scissors about my parents or how things make me feel.

Like all day was very surface level, and I it's a.

Lot of men are, and especially black men.

It just doesn't hit you until it hits you when you have something different. And like, I'm watching him and I don't want to start crying. And at this table we're having like this fun dinner. But I was like, he was thinking all that, and he said, then I wondered. There were a few moments where I was like thinking of how he looked at me and he's not even saying this to me.

He's saying this to gils Has.

He's like, I can watch him look at me with his daughter and like he used to be this protector and I'm like the new one now for her. And it's like this weird moment I'm having and I'm like what because he told me none of this and he's really thinking about it, and he's like and it made me wonder how he feels like you should be, you know, going and drilling your daughter's new man and figuring all this shit. And he's like, but maybe he can't do that.

I was like, I felt like a white one.

Nigga. I wanted there. I was like, and mind you.

I'm asking you sure we all got wearing nothing African.

He's just not an anti table nigga. He's like, no, baby, I'm wearing my fucking tabby booths. Like do your thing, like we dressed a lot. We're sitting at his whole table.

His dad.

Everybody got African council. This is his dad. He got up there, he's like making a speech and I'm sitting there like, oh my god. They think I'm Puerto Rican and they think that I'm the woman that made you wear a fucking regular suit. Like that's all I could

Okay, so I was on the.

Court all right.

But anyway, Yeah, it's really tough because now I'm in this phase of my life where I'm like, ooh, like I really want to make sure I never thought.

About being this good for someone's mom before we're their parents.

But what hit me? I'm at this wedding where he introduced me to fifteen uncles, ten cousins, you know, Africans.

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