Ep. 365: Full-Time Lesbian (Ft. Mal Glowenke)

Guess what decision We're about to make? Horrible decision? How do everybody? We have the Horrible Decisions podcast, and we are going to be in Dallas, Texas Memorial Day weekend, which is a Sunday. We're gonna be headlining the two together Land Festival, and you bitch is better than how No motherfucker work on Sunday? Call out ho?

I mean you could do that, but also it's a three day weekend. They have Monday off. We will see you guys in Dallas, Texas at the together Land Festival. Make sure you get your tickets now. We will be live on the podcast stage. That's May twenty six.

Get your tickets now at togetherland dot com. Hey guys, welcome to another episode of Horrible Decisions. I'm your girl, Mandy b I'm weezy ooh like you put, I don't anyway, I'm weasy. And it's women's history months, so to be fair, we had women of all different colors and creeds. But the reason we have our guests on is because honestly, I just love the content you're making in your clips.

Like the one where I only saw a black girl on So when she said you know this girl, I said, no, don't. We have now on the pod. Jesus right by the way, before we just started this goddamn episode, we just had a full dissection of Mouth's shoes because I am convinced they were regifted to her. She said they got she got them from a black person. They are like, they are boots.

They are boots the Air Force one, Air Force one combat boots. But they're black. That's lesbian. It is. Yeah, She's kind of right, it is, and maybe that's why they were gifted to you. Okay, I don't know she gay? Yeah, okay, did you guys? Fuck? No, Oh, we've been friends since like middle school. I don't think she was a shooter because who else is buying black Air Force one? Like I need to know. You might need to ask her if she got weapons in her house. Oh my god,

It's like two months old. How you got your ship offer like that, I honestly don't know. We do it out of our bedroom. It's me and my girlfriend. I'm from Texas, so I have a lot of gay closet trauma and I just sit on my couch and get drunk and.

Talk about you really got out of there right before they really started fucking over all the laws. Let me get my gut out of here. I'm deeply connected to my guts. My goodness. Yeah, Texas is one of those where I love.

So I go to Dallas Everythanksgiving and as much as I'm like, dang, I like the house to see I'm like, but Texas is one of those states now, especially that they just want to keep paying away all women's rights.

But I just don't feel like makes sense. It doesn't.

Everybody's out. Yeah you you they say that but then you get there and you're like and.

You're like, still it's still racist. It's giving Florida two point out.

Yeah, we're in Texas room Dallas, Dallas. Oh yeah, I lived in Dallas and it's I lived in the city. But it's so pretentious.

It's old money. Yeah, oh it is old Yeah.

So it's definitely still giving that that feeling.

And so made it out is about you coming out of the closet as of your full blown lesbians.

Are you gold star? No, you've had dick before, not even at all. That's how I know I'm gay. See. I had a girlfriend for a few years and I was like, right off, probably the eighth month of eating pussy, I was like, we should have a Facebook.

Do you know how gay I am? I literally don't even like the strap. Oh that's gay gay that was me.

You're real good.

Oh you don't like penetration because it feels too much like sex of men.

Oh you Oh, they hurt you. No, I'm gonna tell you something though. Most women I know that are gay gay don't like strapping either. Most women I know that deuce strap are fucking someone that used to fuck men, and they feel that it's something they're looking for.

But that's how I know I'm really gay. I've only been strapped by a woman, and I strapped men.

But I have a woman.

That's crazy. I've only been strapped by a woman. But because I'm like, no, bitch, I need some penetration, right, But I've said that too. I don't come with head, I come with penetration, so I need the dick. So for you, you came out with age fully twenty eight.

Oh you came out late. How do you know? I'm thirty. I came out two years ago. How long had you been gay? Because you came out at twenty eight? This is funny? How long you being? How long have I've been gay?

I've known I was gay since like little really, likely four or five years old. When you're playing house and you're like, oh my god, that's when I like, I mean hunt. We all hunt our friends.

Tell no, I don't. I don't think we do. You don't. I think everyone has hunched their friends. You're gay. I really can't ask Danny, but I think all women at one point have hunched. They went from teddy bears to their homegirls, and they didn't know what they were doing. But everybody's like done dry hunk. I don't think that's common for people that are straight, though, I think so. I think we all do. We know anyone who we called? But does it? That's not don't die bitch?

Everybody hunt each other because my homegirl that's not gay now got three kids, and I hunched her.

But she's straight. Well maybe that's the four. Maybe it's like either. That's when you figure it out.

When you a little girl, you figure out if you like bitch. We almost got caught by our dad.

She came in bitch. She was playing school and we done rolled off the bed. Ah, we just playing in school? What school? No?

School is like when you got the teacher, the kid, want somebody teaching the other lesson?

But what oh yeah, why does advanced? We were like, oh was it role playing too early? Yeah? I mean, I'm just saying you look like a teacher now. And I don't say we've done. We've done.

Like I used to draw home like boys too. We did mother daughter and then someone.

Was the kid and the kid was the one we ate want we would be in the closet because we're the adults. We have our own room. Okay, I definitely played House. We say not school House said. So, you describe your podcast as wanting to push the gay agenda, but what is it? What's the gay agenda? Do you feel like there's too many maybe, uh, male driven gay podcasts because I always feel like I'm seeing a lot

There is not enough lesbian content period, There's nothing. There's the L word. There's a couple of lesbian podcasts, but yeah, but like, what can you actually say?

Because we love the gay they gave us makeup, you know what I mean, Like we can't stop thinking about it. But for lesbians, I feel like you're right, we're not seeing enough because.

Lesbians, we don't want any more lesli content. It is the shoes, I guess that's I mean, Okay.

They gave about it. We do.

Gay men, yes, and not necessarily the lesbians, and oh my god, is that the patriarchy?

But keep going?

Yes, I actually think so. I think that being a lesbian is the ultimate rebellion. It's like, fuck men, I don't want anything to do with you. I don't need you, So why would the patriarchy want to put all women content out there?

You're right, Oh hmm.

So it's like, let's make stuff that's only for women, you know, women.

Who have women want I did want to ask you something. How will you then open up? Will it forever will only be lesbians? Will you let get a little queer? We have some trans people on there, some non binary. How do you envision it? Because when we first started, well, trans women can be lesbian. No, I know, I'm just saying trans people, like, do you think you'll just grow into the umbrella of LGBTQ because our show has evolved

I think when we started it was it was a ten episode series on coming out.

That's all it was.

Oh, it was going to be we had identified like ten or twelve. Actually kind of very distinct steps in the coming out process that a lot of us had experienced.

What oh, God put me on the spot.

Yeah, maybe, just like religion, like dealing with religious struggles, dealing with culture, the kind of am I by?

Am I gay? Moment? Just these very.

Distinct steps of like you have never the process that you go through.

Oh, I knew I was by How do you question that? Like if you like Dick amplicy, you buy and not gay? Oh you must have had it because you were with him.

I yeah, I think I went through like a very because I lived in Texas, it was very normal to be married and have kids by twenty five, and so I was very much on that track.

I was like, I.

Had a house, cars, a bank account with a guy like I was in it deep and then I found out he had a kid. I didn't know about three and a half years into the relationship.

Love a double life. We'll do even though see what, he was a pilot, so it makes sense.

Okay, it makes sense, but just like it makes sense when you deal with the athlete or man with money, of of course he's gonna cheat.

Okay, Yes, So I find out about this now I have this like mental break and I'm like, wait, some this is not working. I need to kind of reassess. Actually, I had a breakdown in the Planet Hollywood in Vegas, and I was like, okay, I'm leaving. I'm leaving Texas. I quit my job, I got my packed up my two dogs, and I moved to LA And you made a podcast on a jump.

Yeah, men'll make you do talk a lot.

So I do want to go back to that relationship because I understand the trauma of feeling like you've been lied to, betrayed, especially with someone that you're making plans with. But were you actually enjoying the sex, like when you were with this man? Was there more that you were like, I'm not this doesn't like.

Did he really drive you to be gay? Because someone's gonna watch this and be like, she's gonna change your mind? Right?

No, I think god, I was just so shut off to so many parts of me Back then, I was working a corporate career, which I hated.

I was dating a man exactly, which we hate.

So it's just like, I think, once you shut yourself off to one part of you, you just kind of are a zombie and you're shutting yourself off to a lot of different parts of you.

I could see that.

So yeah, So then when I kind of had like a break moved to LA started, I switched my apps. Clearly that was something that I was like heavily. I hadn't consciously thought about. But if I'm switching my apps, clearly I'm really being pulled to something. I switch my app, I go on a date and now I'm like in a full blown relationship during COVID with a woman, and it's like this just complete switch. This was your first time going on a date with the first date I ever went on.

I ended up being in a nine mon.

Were you were you exactly? What were you like? Who pays for this? Were you confused? As someone who's never dated a woman? How do you just go on an app say I'm gonna try women?

Now? How are you? If it was like riding a bike, That's how she probably knew she's gonna keep going. I was so confused.

Okay, I'm like, I'm more of a stoner, mushroom type person. But that night before that day, I went down the street from my house, took four shots of vodka and was like, okay, pick me up. But she was a kind of masculine leaning girl, so I think it's like she's gonna lead you kind of are attracted to that patriarchy you no, no, no, but don't really easy switched an interest point. Yeah, You're like, Okay, at least there's probably gonna be some gender role like normativity there.

And there was. And she really took.

Control in my first relationship in a lot of different ways and kind of taught me the ropes a little bit.

Did she ever make you feel kind of shitty about the fact that she was your first? Really? They say that lesbians do that more than any person in the queer community, and it's because I guess maybe as women, we feel so like left out of it, and so they're just kind of like, damn you. I don't know, but I.

Actually wonder if from experience it was because she was more masculine presenting and your last relationship was just with

They don't want that. They just want lesbians.

So I've only been with really fem girls because I'm by and will need dick and won't it and do and they're like, they literally not wanted anything to do with me because of my bisexuality. So I wonder if that was that insecurity her thinking that maybe she was just a phase.

Yes, you know, I think that is definitely a thing. Unfortunately in the lesbian community. I think people are hurt because there is by women who are maybe like in that struggle yep. And so a lot of the times when you're newer, you're kind of discounted and it's kind of like, no, I didn't really want it.

They really don't like vibes.

Not all of us but yeah, it is a thing, unfortunately, and I don't really know why.

How do you feel about it now? When you what you said you have a girlfriend? Or did you meet me and my girlfriend? I'm in a relationship now, yes, of course you are. The next day you're on but no, like so you probably had met it by a girl after that, and like, did you then feel the insecurity that your ex girlfriend had m or you got a type? I did see your girlfriend. I definitely have the type I dated.

I did try to date a few different types though, and I was because when you're new to dating women, I wanted to make sure I wasn't just like going to what felt normal.

Can we get into the type? We are saying names. She has said a few, and I'm like, I think we got to bleep it out. I think it's a slur. I don't think dyke is a slur. I think we're just I don't think we're supposed to say it.

Yeah, I think likedke is okay if I say it, because.

I'm you're not lesbian. That's why I said, even though you eatuci, you can't say it unless you That's why I said, we can't say, oh, I'm saying, but because the busch bitch that this is another one.

I don't know if that one's okay, not because I've said that, But then I'll get like my emails will blow up saying I'm not supposed to say certainly I know.

You're not, but well, I don't know, but your fem and then there's lipstick f what are all these wait? What are the sun for black girls? Is?

Well, butch is for white girls. From from what I understand, yes, yes, oh so.

That's why nobody says nothing to me when I said that, butch bitch, oh, because you were talking about a white woman. And then most of our fathers were like, okay, okay, but instead we use that real loosely. But the D word again, I know we have. That's the only one that's like why is that? Do you know? You know why? She's only two years into lesbian Yeah, I very asking her the history and lesbianism, and she's like, I just got here, bitch, I don't know one who look altte.

My girlfriend no, so my girlfriend would be like what's considered?

Actually the word is so terrible. It's fun because it's like fem and but you know we say theem yes, oh yes.

Okay, god, she would be concerned. I didn't know she was because she's prettier.

Yes, but is that.

That's probably not It's like she's like, like she dresses a little bit more feminine.

We're not just androgynous. No, no, So I'm gonna get canceled after this. I don't think I'm doing the lesbian community just here. You don't get so like. No, I saw that your girlfriend had the reason. I could see why you would have said, but what else say the stem? So I was making the joke about baseball or whatever it was, literally because I saw her wear a hat and a tea and you were wearing something more girly.

Huh, the top and bottom thing is interesting. I don't know that that's something anymore. I feel like that's very Yeah, I really feel like that. I mean, I definitely think there's like a more like dominant presence usually, but I feel like that I'm that in my.

Relationship, which you wouldn't really expect.

You would expect my girlfriend, who is like a little bit more of the masculining one, to be more of that like top presence.

So it's crazy that this can be such a just regular conversation and talking about mask presenting them presenting in terms of lesbianism, because this is actually how I'd be trying to explain why I don't want my man to have nail polish. I want my woman to have an apolished So there are things that we consider it to be masculine and feminine, not gay or strength. By the way, the masculine you mentioned dominant, and we're using the red mask.

I almost hate to even use the gender terms because it's just like balance.

That's what topper bottom was mine. But dominant is a better way.

Dominant submissive, Yeah, like just the opposites. Yes, but there are also a lot of lesbians that like them, girls date each other.

Yes, That's why I say I hate to use like the mask or same gender thing because it's like.

That's not the way can be together. I was everybody made us feel like shit. People would act like we were doing porn. People made me feel so bad. She got really upset one night. I remember we were in Paris together. This guy was like making us kiss because he didn't thought we were lying.

Yeah, that's been the thing. Oh, I'm so. I don't think that happens as much anymore. But I remember growing up when I would be out with my homegirls, the way to get a man away is we'd be like, well my girlfriend and the man would definitely probably nine times out of ten, respond will kiss and prove it.

Yeah, wait, are you do you still get that? I get No, you're not, No, you're not. I used to work in the club, and so then when I would tell people I was lesbian, the guys are like, no, they were too pretty to be a lesbian.

That's the yeah, oh yeah, Danny. Have you ever had two girls tell you they were together when you tried to hit on a woman? Yeah, it just happened to all of us. I feel like you feel ugly when it happened. Yeah, you do. No, wait, wait, I believe them. I believe them. Sure, I mean yeah. It depends on the setting. Like if it's like you feel like she's giving someone else motion and you just I'm not getting

No, but this does make sense. Bring us up on a little gay podcast.

Yeah, you're right. Did you know the lesbians sid to make more money? And the phenomenon is known as lesbian wage premium. And so recently a woman did a deep dive. Her name is Aria of the less on why and so it says for years, social scientists have been observing that lesbians are making more money than straightmen. How so, there was thirty international studies and gay women are earning ten percent more even depends on it doesn't matter the country. And so here are some of the reasons why. Here

I think it's because we aren't so focused on the heteronormative lifestyle.

What do you mean by that?

Marrying a man, having kids, settling down, And we're like, it's almost like this, we can focus on other things because we're not so focused on locking a man down to get married. Generalized speaking, every man or every woman does will make you.

Poor because the obvious reason they are less likely to have children. Oh, this one's interesting. Lesbians living were predominantly more in cities, which probably means that they're moving to cities because they're more liberals just like you, which means that they're paying more. And it says lesbians tend to be more educated than straightmmen, which that I didn't know, but probably because they're going to school and they're not focusing on these niggers. Okay now, because the fuck you

We seeing these girls tatam Man's face on their cheek and ass, I don't want I might end up being a guess on your pos soon.

The way, I don't want these problems with these men.

It's that making bitches stupid out here, Like the dick is literally fucking with they brain YEP, I don't want it.

I don't want By the way, Friend, she was a teenager when she said that, Like she was a teenager when she got shot. So it's like, you know, you're a kid, you're looking around, but like, because I know, I think like as an adult, maybe you're taking your health more serious. But I love how much she laughed about it with us. We were like, no, really, dick got you any gap. But in lesbian couple's household, labor tends to be more equally divided, so neither partner is

You gonna get that time and a half cause you like bitch, you gotta run home and cook she got.

I gotta go do the laundry and clean the house. She got. Both lesbian partners contributed more equally, meaning that lesbians do not face trade offs on needing to focus on family or the pressures. And interestingly, when you look at wages with lesbians who have lived with the previous male spouse and lesbians who have never lived with a male spouts, yes, that's the true many baby bro. The lesson is here that lesbians are not better at making money.

It's also that science is going to be involved regardless, Yeah, when we have kids, so the process can be delayed. It doesn't feel as like, you know, stressed or tight, because it's like we can have kids at thirty eight, or.

You freeze your eggs or you're talking yeah yeah, adoption or well yeah, so many different yes, And it's like already things that you're getting your brain around, because when you are a lesbian, you're already thinking in that way versus like, I really do think I have straight girlfriends who are so stressed on these apps because they're aging out. They're aging out, yeah, and like men won't.

Now they're competing with like you know, men probably have a high age range on their apps twenty five to whatever, one to whatever. You so now you're competing with those girls and you're older, and then I feel like men think like that, Oh no, they a you're timed out or you're aging out.

Oh they think like that.

They literally, okay, they literally are like your value decreases as.

You age in being a woman.

Like and let's be very clear, we've talked about it as well, like men don't really care about the successes or how much money you make or where you are in your career. They're looking at how can you support them? How can you show up as a wife, How can you nurture our children? How can you take care of this house? Listen to it every time I think free time, and I think a lot of women right now we are because if we don't work, we don't pay our bills.

What do you think that you've taught your friends since being gay that you maybe didn't No, No, sorry, being out, it's just being out, that's tie being out. It's being out as a lesbian that you hadn't really noticed before. Like have you seen some stuff in maybe even yourself from before where you were like, damn, I was tripping, Like I shouldn't have been so obsessed with I don't know whether it be marriage or status or you know, having the cars in house, Like have you been able to put that a.

Completely different person? Like one eighty one hundred percent. I could not be more different than I was when I was straight.

Wow.

I mean, like I said, I was fully in a marriage. I essentially had a divorce with a man, and like my focus was, Yeah, I'm going to have this like little nine to five career. I'm going to try to make you know, one hundred thousand dollars a year. Like I was very okay with whatever my life was going to be because it was a man was going to come along, we were going to have a baby, We're going to have the white picket fence, whatever, and that

So I'm not going to work the job.

I'm just going to go back and do what takes the least amount of time and makes and make the money and free up my mind to do other things. And like I truly can say, that's why I have the podcast because my girlfriend found me looking for She found me on TikTok casting, a lesbian reality TV show.

She created, a show, found me.

Literally, I said, the minute I blocked my ex girlfriend's number, my whole life is going to change.

I blocked my ex girlfriend. Ummer keep talking, people need to hear this. Yes, it's an energy thing.

The minute I close this energetic door on this toxic first girlfriend that I had, the one that was you know, whatever I am going at my whole life. I'm going to get every single thing that I want to get. And three days after I blocked her number, my girlfriend messaged me, do you have any any interest in being on reality TV? And we did this whole thing. It was a pilot that got shot, it didn't get green lit. But because that didn't get green lit, I started We

Danny put the camera on you. You were Patty. You are Patty talking to but today let him go keep going. Sorry truly him or her? Honestly that men are worse. But anyway, so okay, you block that happens. I'm curious. Did you ever have a moment where you were like, oh, I'm jumping from relationship to relationship? Yes, when I was well, and is it okay? It is rebounding? Okay, okay.

To be fair, my girlfriend and I broke up and then we were very lesbian on and off for like.

Well, that's heterod two girl, and did just let the girl I had our own community be on and off a little bit? Good? Pussy's good? Did goodn makes good? Pussy?

God it's so different with women. It's so much more of an emotional thing. We are so criers, keep going. But that's what I love about it. I don't know, I'm such a lesbian in that way, me and my shoes.

That I couldn't do it. That's why I don't like I'll be like I just have sex with women. I couldn't be with them and they're too it's too emotional for me, too needy.

Like yeah, I don't like, that's not so interesting. That's not what I can't that's giving avoid it. No, I can't be that for I can't be that for somebody. I have a lot that I that I'm personally working on.

I also like to just sometimes have my my space and like women be liking to be up under motherfuckers, they just do like I think that even my see.

I like, I like to have sex with you. Like I just met over over the holiday break.

I met this girl at a homeboy's house and immediately we like.

Connected and it was cool. I was like, you know, it's like connect No, it was like, I'm like, I could probably fuck her, like if we hang out a couple more times, and so we exchanged numbers but immediately she was like, let me know when you make home, I'm gonna come over tomorrow and cook you breakfast. Oh my god, I leave before. Oh oh my god, that happened to me too in Paris.

Offered to like, cook me breakfast the next day I leave out of town. But then when I come back, I want to take you here. I have this party keep and she started sending me all these finds and I was like, girl, first off, I'm good, I don't need breakfast.

I'm not hungry. I have busy things going on.

I said, well, we'll run into each other, but it immediately was like I had to push her away because it was too much. And I think, like, that's what a lot of and do women also be playing. I shared another story where me and my homegirl. She came over, laid in my bed as naked and literally didn't want to fuck because she wanted me to take her to

When are we gonna go on a date. You are in my bed naked, bitch, put some clothes on if we ain't gonna fuck right now. I was so annoyed that she even played with me like that, Like the mental gymnastics of women to me is too draining. No, so okay, you hauling is a real thing. What is it called you hauling when they move in? Yes? Okay, not what Kingwoods did when he sucked that night.

And the.

Friend of the show. You hauling is where women will try to move in.

That's like the the stigma it is.

It is.

It's a thing I think as women we connect on a deeper level.

I know right away. Is this going to go somewhere? Is it's not going to go somewhere. So then you're like, okay, well it's expensive.

We're in La. Let's not pay two rents. Let's just you know, it's just okay. But I think that I lost where I was going with that thought. But yes, do you do two bedrooms when you move in with a girl? No, you sleep in the same room. Yes, but not okay, that's where I.

Was Wait, not all friends, no, I mean, but this one thing.

And we had the conversation about the separate bedrooms, if I even move in with a man like my ex.

I was talking about it. We were like, well, we need a two bedroom and you can have some of this. Oh yeah, like me, if.

I think about moving in with a person right now, it's not to say we got to get another bedroom because there's two of us.

Talking about if I'm mad at you, we're gonna have a little guest bed that you can sleep in. I can't imagine living with someone right now with one bedroom. Yeah. I just stayed in a loft apartment in Mexico for a week with the dude dated and I was like, oh my god, Oh no, that's a real thing. Do you think with your partners?

Yeah, yeah, it's I mean, yeah, it's pretty enmeshed. I will say that, like, I think good relationships have healthy boundaries.

Oh yes, we very much. Like yeah, yeah we do. But I think we're kind of it's a healthier relationship. But now you're working together.

Yeah, I mean it's a lot. Yeah, Oh what should be fighting about? I think we're very No, I don't think that's true.

I really don't. I think it's so.

Much easier to communicate with a woman. It's like, we get it we're both in therapy, we're both healing. It's like, okay, I here's why I did what I did. Here's why you did what you did. And it's like I hear you. I hear you, and then it's you actually see change. Like it's different than communicating with a man. I never got there with a man. Yeah, it's a it's it's difficult, and with a woman, it's like it's a back and forth.

We get it.

But my girlfriend and I are so different. I'm like the dreamer, let's do more. I want more, don't cap us. She's very like, let's focus on today right now and the process.

And you know, she's what you're doing. She's a Taurus. We've got to star this thing. Okay. I date a lot of tourists. My ex girlfriend is a tourist too. I'm dating a tourist man right now. Okay, they're great. I love a tourist. I need a tourist. You need a person, and they happen to have a birthday where on the calendar. Until you find a meme that you like, Oh the me, listen, it's a meme.

I don't live my lie by memes. I'll repost the meme real quick and yes I'm a libra and if it's says so I'm cute, I would just post that thing. But I don't start the moves. Shit, Okay, take what we like.

So in your new relationship, are there any traumas you've brought from your past? Because I know when I'm dating men, I'm kind of bringing a lot of my old insecurities up. Like as you lying is you're doing this at he's scheming. What about you, Like, have you done that? Mm hmm.

I think yeah, a lot of family of origin. I'm like the oldest, so there's a lot that comes with that. My brother's a professional baseball player and the baby and the only boy of the family, so there was like a lot of you know, attention there. I think there's like some abandonment. You know, we all have some problem.

I don't know, no, no, I mean from like literally the last X that you just said on.

The last X hmmm, Yeah, I think she really made me feel bad about where I fit in within the community and like, my nobody's ever gonna want to be with you because you came out so late, you don't know what you're doing. That type of thing. She also was like really shed kind of flight, put me down.

Like you don't say, like what like fucking huh? She would say, like you didn't know what you were doing and what realm?

I think all like sex with sex ist sex is scary when you haven't had sex with women, but it's something that you've wanted your whole life and you've only had sex with men and then you switch. The first time I with the girl, I did not move my hands literally stayed glued to my side.

I was terrified that kind of sex.

Did you have everything? No, Like she went down on me, fingered me, gave me head. It was the full thing, and I just did you scissor not that time? Not first time?

When it was happening, did you know that you wanted more? Or did you feel like, oh, I don't know how to reciprocate. I didn't know how to reciprocate. That's exactly how I felt. There's even moments where if it's been too long, I feel the exact same way. I'm like, damn, I've been sucking shit.

Like well, the thing is is yes, but also every girl is different.

Is the hardest thing.

I've ever done in my life and is yeah, because like I actually like fingers inside me, but again I like penetration too. There's a lot of women that you have to ask for us, like some women don't want fingers in them at all.

Like I don't like you looking too hard, so I don't like fucking you. Just had a guest on a few months ago, Christina, who talked about the teeth like yo teeth teeth. She said it felt like her laby was getting stuck in the teeth. No, I don't like that. Yeah, you know like I mean.

And again there's still we also know that women don't often tell their partner when something doesn't feel good.

We do that with men.

So I think that it becomes we're trying to teach each other what feels good when we have also innately not really grew up being able to tell people what we like, what we don't like, exploring our bodies really late, and.

That's what a lot of us are put up Bread Brendon, y'all make sure you get your tickets now. May fifth, we are at the Earth Theater in London's and we made this a specific request to be in London on the weekend, so that are all of our euro people can come and see this. We want our whole euro people, Europe and Europe pull whatever, all the black people that live over there. Just take that another fucking year star

I think literally every time I'm asked this, because on my podcast, this is probably the number one question that we get.

It's my first time, and how do I do it?

And the answer is it's gonna be so embarrassing and so fucking awkward, and like it.

That just is what it is.

Like, I don't think there's any practical advice that you can give for with a man.

There is because your open legs are open. That's it. Yes, that's do you like? What about for touching? Like do you recommend that someone says it's their first time? Do you recommend that they're trying oral? Like where can they practice? Like we gotta give these bits a sum it.

Okay, okay, I think going back to what you were saying, how we weren't we aren't taught to communicate?

Lesbian sex is so communicative. Oh, that's normal to talk.

It's normal to say do this, do that, I like this, and I know that doesn't feel very normal, but like, get feedback in a lesbian relationship is so important because if you don't help me get there, I'm never gonna get there. Like it's gonna take me six months to do what I could do in six minutes if you just talk to me, you know. So, I think that's like the number one actual practical tip other than that, find the fucking clip.

I just bringing in toys also, like could help. Maybe that's a little too much in the beginning. I feel the opposite. I think toys take it away from being all on you. Yes, it could be easier in that way, would be easier, yes, like if it's a lesbian like lesbian sex to me. And again, I wouldn't just start pulling out toys the first time. I always say, talk about toys first. I love talk about toys first. Well, we're gonna play with let's go together and buy them.

The pressure off of the first time with a lesbian is actually having toys there. Yeah, And it takes the pressure off of you actually having to do all the things and now you're just using the toys, so now my hands can be free. Sometimes my hands begining tired or to motherfucking wand it's like it's just too much. So to have somebody like that was one of the things I used to love about sex with my ex. We brought in so many toys. It felt great sometimes

One of your favorite toys to use in your relationship. I love a vibrator. I'm one of the people that I can't really come from penetration. It's like not I think, like I was saying before, I've got weird trauma around it. I don't love it unless there's like a shit ton of intimacy. There has to be a lot built up first, right, and then it's like, okay, we can introduce a toy.

It makes sense why men doesn't work for you.

Yes, So I'm very very like clit stimulation and any vibrator.

I'm I told someone recently on an interview that I

I so I was on hinge and that's why no, Okay, go ahead and show your experience. Well, I was on a hinge, I swiped, I went on a date, and then I got into a relationship.

If you went there very long. Congratulations done and then yeah, I mean after that Hinge. No, they're a hinge. Oh why not her? Because the ones I don't know about that. I don't know.

I don't think they're just like not the best. I would say.

She said, you go swipe love a lot? What about mumble? Did you use bumble? No? I think I feel like Hinge is the one. You know, you know why I belove. That's when I was on. So when I when I got on there, I actually had to take so I went on there it says bisexual, so I'm interested in men and women, Babe.

I had to take the women off. It was too much of the way, too many women. They were all very good looking. I was like, oh, no, this is this is at this point a bit uncomfortable, Like, uh, there is too much.

There were too many women. I felt like it was too much to choose from.

Yeah, and I clearly was like, I really don't want to have to take y'all on dates.

I really just want to fuck. So I said, let me get the fuck, let me get women off of this. I'm beloved. How did you know what your girl type was? Because you said you've known you were gay for a long time. How did you know and what were those feelings? Like?

Oh, you actually, So I had this friend when I was little that was like we were like three and four years old, and we used to play house and we used to kiss.

Exactly, and I think her and then.

My first nanny her name, She looks exactly like my girlfriend. They both have like really simply all like my first friend, and my nanny has very tea here characteristics, and they both look like my girlfriend. The nanny is my girlfriend. I swear, I'll have to show you guys picture now.

There may have been some subconscious to where you were attracted to these people when you were younger, but you were fighting it.

So I kind of think so because I have a memory also where I asked my nanny what sex was she like, I didn't ask my parents, but I had heard about sex and I asked my nanny. So I don't know if there's some sort of like weird logical correlation or something.

I don't know. Nanny, And how did your parents take you coming out, especially being from Texas like that.

Were from Chicago originally, Okay, we moved to Texas when I was like eight, So my parents are super progressive.

I think you're going through a face.

I think they were shocked, but no, because I'm pretty like, you know, I was like, no, I've gotten here, I'm there, like, so I think they were.

I don't think it was that. Do you feel like there was something? Did you have a coming out post online? I've seen two of them, and one of them I was like, hey, you only just came out two years ago. And two years ago was when Starbucks had all the rainbows was everywhere, baby, it was the time Republicans were you know what, I'm not having it. It was the wild.

So like two years ago, we're in the middle of a pandemic. It's everyone's online.

Did you tell the world online at all? You did? You? Guys? This?

I used to have quadruple deep boobs, so like part of my straight life was like massive fucking tips. So it's me and this tank top with a roller in my hair, smoking a joint, coming through these doors.

Video youted a whole coming well. It was kind of like I was doing.

A like a gender reveal, but my kind of yeah, And I said, I think I said, like in case you ever heard, because it was the post is like me.

Coming out the closet.

Yeah, at third or at twenty eight or something basically older, and yeah, I.

It's so excessive. It's like, why did I do that? You still you archived it? Huh? You got it up still? Yeah? Oh no, we're gonna of course social media. I might about to go round like what I mean?

So, but was that a conversation with any of the other lesbian friends that you may have had, or you know, even family members. Was there a conversation about coming out, like and what that announcement had to look like or how you would tell the world.

I think, yeah, I mean I had to come out because it was not like you had to. Yeah, I for my family kind of yeah, because I had lived such a different life and I had dated so many men and been in like serious relationships with men. So I did feel like, Okay, I have to say something, you know. And I think I was so purbl in it by the time I came out.

The only one.

I called my mom in a panic during the you know, pandemic, and I was like, oh my god, I'm in a full blown relationship with a woman, just bawling. I didn't know what was going on, but I waited to tell

Do you have Kinsley scale moments where you're like, you said, am I bye? But and then moments where you're seeing men and maybe you get a little tangli in that blissing or are you just looking at them in a different way, like he's handsome, but I don't want.

Yeah, it's kind of funny because I live life in extremes, like I've been a stripper and I also worked in corporate America and I've dated men, and I'm all, so I think I work in that way. I'm really quick to like make a jump to something.

I wish I could see the stripper and you I don't see it. Maybe it's the pants not with these shoes, but I'll see it, shrimp, I go, very beautiful. We need to put the shoes in it, because there I'm standing by these shoes I'm wearing them every day. Now we're gonna come to your first live show and bring

There's definitely like worldly in societal and cultural battles, But I think the most important part is getting really clear within yourself and like accepting it within yourself, because if you don't feel that way within you, you're not going to be able to fight the rest of the world, you know, and to to to stand firm and be okay with that.

Can I ask you, well, outside of your own community, it seems like we there's a lot of bickering within the own you know, the LGBTQ community, But as a lesbian, I don't know. I feel like gay men, I definitely see society's pressures. What are the societal pressures on lesbians?

Like you know what I mean?

Like, I think we're heavily sexualized. It's there, We're not really taken serious. I think it's kind of it's more of a.

Yeah, okay, you're gay. Yeah okay, yeah, you're playing which on the up with the opposite end with men, it's like shameful, like you know, if you suck a dick, you're out. Yes, it's interesting, okay, So they just don't believe that. They actually believe that you want to take dick. You just don't right now totally.

I mean I think that or it's like somebody hurt you, you just need the right guy, or you just That's what I was going to say about your story.

I know somebody's feeling like that because that is super tramatic. But I think that we do need to end a certain relationship sometimes to like explore and sometimes we're in the right relationship, but the relationship we think that is right for us to know that I'm with a guy who's you know, doing well and like a pilot is such an amazing job, and like it seems like the perfect family life. One thing I wanted to talk to you actually about before we wrap was what does lesbian

I think my girlfriend and I are actually like already in talks. We're not engaged yet, but it's a long there together two years so it's getting there. And then but you kind of have to think about these things because it's like we're not ready now, we probably won't be ready for four or five years. And we got to freeze the eggs because we're in our thirties, you know, So that's it right there.

I was just gonna say to you, if you don't have them early, I feel like I had one on a few dates with a girl that was like, no way, I'm only adopting Oh really, And I was like, well that's no. She was saying, I'm not trying to do all this scientific shit, like look at all these kids in the world, and I was like, damn, I didn't feel like being gay was gonna mean I couldn't have my own kids. And we were like on two different playing fields.

So now you know why U haul happens because you are having these conversations.

There's not a lot of like commitment things, I think with women because we have relationships so bitch, we go together. See, it's too much, there's too much pressure. I listen. I'm not always I might not always, but I've felt it. Yeah, and it's like it's just different issues.

I think, Yeah, you know, and you're having these conversations really early, so I don't and it's normal. It's like I think on the outside, it's probably like whoa, you guys are talking about that for a second third date. But it's like we ought to know why we're not going to get all the way down the road. And now I find out that you don't really want kids or you don't really this isn't the life you foresee it, which is a lot more normal in a community that's

Like tell me though, when it comes to freezing as there's so many ways to have a kid with a woman, right, maybe surrogate, maybe you're carrying your own baby. What about the sperm? Which have you guys talked about?

So we actually have a sperm donor, how'd you pick it? He is like, he's our best friend.

Oh yeah, he want him around? Okay, yeah, we want him around.

I think I think he Yeah, he's a he's a really good friend of ours. He's absolutely beautiful. He's a gay man. Yes, oh he owns a design interior design, successful business. And we're like, it's just the best, you know. And so he is like actively like, yes, please let me. And so whose.

Eggs do you like? Do you fight over that?

I'm going to carry hers and she's going to carry mine? Okay, so you all want to hear something crazy. My girlfriend's fucking insane and she wants to have kids at the same time.

She wants you got to be predy together. That sounds like a TLC show. Maybe I need dat. I actually that's my dream scenario.

And she wants she wants me to carry twins, such three babies out.

I know, I don't feel like I can understand this, which I also can get why you totally don't you like we gotta lean on each other. But for me, I think pregnancy is such a crazy experience. I've never been pregnant. Well, sorry, Mitch, you never went through with a full pregnancy. You never gay birse, I don't live in Texas. Let's just say that. Okay. By point, even when you do pregnant, I've been out on the paper pregnant, Okay. So I feel like there's a lot that you could

It's like fine until the babies come and then it's like this is all one. Yeah, that that sounds You got to put a boundary.

I should know. This is not tell all the lesbians and nons where to find you. You can find me at Mault Glowing Key, our show at Made It Out Podcast, Made It Out Podcasts, and all of that will be in the description of this episode. Guys, make sure you also head all over to Black Effect dot com and get your tickets to see us in.

Atlanta, Georgia on April the twenty seventh. We are part of the Black Effect. That's the bul baby.

Okay, look at that.

Hello, and then also, if you have a yet, go on over to whore hive dot com if you are in London or surrounding areas.

But if you in Europe, go ahead and get your tickets. May fifth, we are at the Earth Theater in London. Again, that's at hore hive dot com. See there. Oh, this has been yet another episode of Horbores. Decision Back. It's bliss, bitch is welcome back, y'all. We're back for a cinema. We haven't done one in a while, but we haven't got two cinemas. That's why cinema we did. We got two last month. Let me look. Let me on the pat yeah man, and we and we posted on my

Spend enough time really talking about the cinema the ways we should. So I know this one like, I for sure want to get into it. But let me see the last cinemas well.

Let me just say this, if you haven't watched Maya Kopa yet, please watch it. Can ye spoiler alert? Can you please put the camera on me for a moment. I need to say something to me. You didn't one moment you did. Who the fuck did I marry cinema? That don't count? Why does that not count? That wasn't a movie? Bitch, Hold on, let me let me get this out. Go ahead, Miss Kelly Rowland. She's not seeing this. She only sees this on our life. How she not

No, there was no business there. Let's be heard that he is the reason one of her closest friends got stabbed and killed. Huh exactly because she chat.

And all with the same nigga. I don't know that I know. No, of course you don't. I know the paint got on that course you don't. We gonna get to the best friend got stabbed. No, yes she did not. The reason he is not directly related that just because he had bomb dick and everybody wanted to fuck him. She let he led that nigga to kill. No. And by the way, if you it was clearly clearly if you have not seen this that we are about to give all. I blame the white mother killing. Sure, Mandy,

We're not making that a clip. Who not bright, We can't post a spoiler alert clip like that.

Yes, we can't. Bet. You just told him to end in Everybody watched that ship to see you from Kelly, but ship hit Twitter and they didn't make it to the end. So guess because I'm gonna be honest with you, no disrespect the first one. So you watched it twice, Okay. The first time I watched it, I was keeping to see the fucking Okay, and then because I have an hour and a half to give in the moment, but I was like, well, I gotta see this because you just have ad I just wanted no, no, no, no no.

And so Mia Kopa y'all is a thriller that was directed by the Tyler Perry Child and I will say I'm just glad that Kelly brought her own hair team because normally the taller Perry whigs don't be given, but Kelly was giving her and her office slate.

I think her estallas is Colin, who also dresses Cardi B and Victoria Monet.

Colin Carter love him down, but no, she's been slaying lately. I really really like how she's been dressed in and she brought all the fashions to it.

I ain't gonna hold you. I don't know what the hate was for. I loved it.

I was in the bed like this, and it could be because I'm so horny and so withdrawn from.

Sex and haven't really had that before that. I was just like, oh my god, this is so great. So I guess we'll get right into the sexual tension actually because it wasn't too much. It wasn't jam packed with sex, but sexual tension can be the sexiest thing sometimes of a scene. Like we're so overloaded on sex from Twitter, ig all that stuff that I think feeling the vibe about, and then they're both so fine like that. Really well, I guess I wanted to start there with sex scenes.

Mm hmm.