EP 340: Testicle Implants & Multiple Penises (Ft. Spank Horton)

Guess what decision we're about to make. Horrible decision? What up?

Y'all?

Welcome to another motherfuckering episode of horrid Blaed the Yons. I'm your girl, man d aka pet Design aka for Court Pumps a k A.

Debt Beach. We should call you blonde something. I want to blind way blond. You said blond banded. I'm a booty banded bitch.

Maybe platinum, platinum, pusty, but I'm trying to make it sound good. You know these names got a hit, Bro Platinum, Platinam, Peggy Platinum, Peggy M. I like Peggy Bundy better. But you know we were gonna We're gonna, y'all help me with smoke. A kas uh celibate queen can be one. Uh, she's a liar. And we have a guest in a building to day. That's right, y'all. We got the man the mental legends spake Horton in the mother sucking building.

How are you you good?

I'm no legend about.

By the way, I do want to tell you before you came in, Danny, I'm about to telling you real quick.

At the gate.

So he was like, man, every time I go to a woman's page, on Instagram, spank is following or in the likes or somewhere present.

The page. Do y'all know each other? No, but y'all know the same holds apparently, how.

Do you so much money?

Both alphas?

Okay?

Okay, wait, what's the alpha move?

Like?

Oh?

Wait, like alpha men or like the alphas? Like, okay, what do y'all do?

Isn't this like Hawaiian White stole from the Alpha?

Okay?

Well?

No, I always like to ask because I know the kappas shemmy, the Omega's bark. But the alphas I don't think. I know y'all are just really masculine.

Oh all right now, and I'm sorry for the rest of the office. Y'all might be the best looking alphas I've seen.

Like, wait, oh that's it. Okay, I don't know. I don't really like Nicholas.

I want to bite that. Then I've ended up capitals. I don't know why. Wait, cues are the ones that bark? Like right, okay, what do I magas do? That is?

Oh, that's the same thing. Okay, but you'll know it just kind of be like kind of corny. But maybe you guys broke out of that as comedians.

I don't know it.

You know, it's like maybe y'all started as writers writing corny jokes that you got on the stage. I don't know your recently divorced. You got some money, you got.

A cool car. How long have you been singles? Fank?

Three years now?

Oh wow?

So have you re entered a whole phase since being a single? You're definitely in the whole phase?

Are you beginning? Were you like grieving the break up or the forest?

We actually broke up during the pandemic.

Oh so it was a little little Do you have to stay with your sub You healed, right, I'm I'm still healing.

That's my excuse to women. I'm still you. Oh god, you know they say, yeah, I think we should some more hell on the more days.

Well, it's half the time you were with someone.

It's half the time you got.

How long were you all together?

We was married for eight We was together for nineteen.

Oh bitch, no, don't tell him, don't do that. Man. Yes, you're gonna be single the rest of your life.

Forty five So I ain't got that much time.

Do you kids?

Yeah?

Two kids?

Since being single, have you gotten to the point where you had to like be like, okay, like it's time to introduce my girl to the kids or anything like that.

Well, my kid's grown. I'm forty five, my son twenty four, my daughter sixteen.

So okay introduced all right.

Spance, So we're gonna get into this icebreaker to warn you up just a little bit before we really get into you know, horrible de saison here, all right, and we're going straight at it.

Okay, do you eat ass? That's actually not the I don't think that's the question. I mean, and I want to know. Uh.

It depends if I'm drunk, for sure, but if I'm sober, I don't think I'm just going to eat ass.

If you had to pick, would you rather suck toes or eat ass?

Hmmm? Probably ass?

Did we we? Okay?

I hate more ass than I sucked too, so same, but.

I would do both. I would then I suck.

I don't think I have a.

Well here they are, okay, we are doing Would you rather?

So I'm gonna run down these four really quickly and let me know your thoughts. Would you rather have missionary sex with someone who has horrible breath or doggy style sex with someone who forgots white there, but after going number two, what's.

The name of the show against, I go, horrible breath. I can't smell shit.

I go, okay, horrible breath.

Okay, I'm not gonna lie. I yeah, actually, well for us, it wouldn't matter if it's doggy style.

Well, yes it would for you, buddy, oh for me? Okay, okay, okay, you're right. You're right. I'm not pegging or looking in the gas. If he got yeah, I mean, I just ignore it.

I guess you would.

Here we go, wait pegging.

I just thought it was something else.

Fer than fingering. Pegging is like a strap on with a whole dial doo.

I saw the episode.

He said, yeah, okay, all right, I mean, what do.

You put a condom on your dick?

So if it's mine, but like no, no, it's mine, but like like if it's like a new partner. We go and I let him pick his size and he gets to keep the dial though after I don't take dildo's home. After we buy it together, like it's to be yours. You could keep it one of my friends, right, don't do this.

No, I did not, and I don't think I dated any of your friends. We may just be cool.

Might just be cool to make sure.

I don't know if you guys just to get in the group chat. Do you see it it get cloudy? How do you know ship? Like on a call?

No, it's like when it come out like okay, like it might be there, Like that's that's the risk you take.

Okay, how much shit is it? Do you see?

Like?

It wasn't a lot of No, it wasn't a lot of ship. It just you know, so Pegan for you, she has done it.

I'm not good at it, like honestly, because the pegging requires so much dominance. I feel like a nigga would have to like dominate me into sucking ass you know what I'm saying, which I could do.

Okay, I am dating a dude right now. Who did He was just like, oh, like what kind of stuff have you done?

You know?

On podcast i'll talk about crazy ship. So when Pegan came up, I was like, oh, have you news? I know, but I mean I was like okay, And.

Then I said, well, why haven't you tried it?

If you would be open to it? He was like, because I can't ask, no, girl, Like what do I say?

Like?

I want you to fuck me and ask, and he's like, I just gotta wait for it to happen balid, which pretty much my signal.

Okay, so that's sent me to this question. How do you just start pegging like you.

Oh no, it's it's no, it's definitely a conversation. Before I have conversation.

We working our way there with either like butt dillayers or fingers or eating. Like there's a butt dilator kit later dilator like the hell called the antal training and antal training kit. Like you start real small, then you just get a little big, a big, big, big big thing. You gotta get in there to get in there.

Okay, spank. Would you rather never have an orgasm or never find true love?

Never find true love?

Okay, you didn't been married, you didn't need to do with love already.

That's you know what I mean? There done that? There come, he said, I'd rather call that.

Look you never have an orgasm again?

You think I want love?

Right now?

I'm heartbroken, bitch, make me come.

Is everybody in this room say she's celibate, You've never she's never had an orgasm? Okay, hold on, hold on, what about masturbation? Okay, you will when you masturbate, you want it, You're never masturbating you.

It's not orgasms. You want to stick. Cut this out. Okay, okay, next one, when you masturbate, it'll happen. Here goes, here goes.

Would you rather get a text from a one night stand that says I'm pregnant or I have an incurable STD?

Oh, I'll get that text for the one night stand? Changing my number right after that text, get a new number. Thank you, appreciate the notification.

You can't we can google you. Wait, you're just not responding at all to either one. So to the STD and pregnancy, I'm taking pregnancy, I'm taking prey.

Okay, gosh, what about you the bitch pregnecy because you know I'm bringing a vacuum out.

That's my That's what AI's and Herbie's right, Yeah, that's what that is. No, both of those all right? Last one? Would you rather have sex in front of your parents or have to watch your parents have sex?

Well? I saw my mom have sex, so therefore she got to watch me.

Now, how old are you? Did you walk in on accident?

Walked in on? I was like nineteen.

I know you are.

I'm surprised from college come home on the weekend. She just said, funk, I'm just had a door opening anything Stepdad had a leg all up in there. You turned around said all right, that was tough. Nineteen That was all.

I caught my mom jerking off my dad once, and it was so bad because they tried to pretend like she was rubbing his stomach. I don't even I never told my mom I saw this, or maybe she doesn't.

Remember it, but my mom came home from going to.

The club because I am my mama child my mama and want to get lit with her friends and come back to her man.

So I remember hearing the door open. She was saying his name, and then he was like, I'm sleeping. She was like God. When I went in there, I just wanted to be like, oh hey, ma, And I just saw her hand down there. It was so embarrassing.

The only thing I did is I've heard my mom moan, and I just didn't understand why she couldn't shut the fuck up.

Like we don't want to hear that. Oh, Like it happened multiple times, Like her.

Boyfriends used to be moved in. She used to just move all these homeless niggas in our goddamn house, and she would be fucking them and moaning. It's like, we do not want to hear that. We don't, we don't want to hear it. I didn't wonder I don't want to hear moaning. Like if you moaned so much on this show.

I know I moan and I lived for your trout I am, but like I'm never like man, you will moan, wait and ask for it. I'd be like, what'd you do yesterday?

This nigga, I can, okay, but I can't actually fuck if there's people in the house. I know how to like not moan, to speak to the house. I like a quiet funks timmy. You could have no im okay, do you sneak? Did I tell you about the time that I lied and act like somebody's in the house?

Not you acted like someone I think I said it on Patreon. So this nigga that I was fucking with because you were scared, Like, weren't you scared of home or something? No? No, no, no, no, there's another point.

So I really didn't think he was gonna come inside my house. And the date was going well and he was dropping me off and we just didn't have time to go to his house. Long story short, the house was a mess, so I was like, okay, no, no, sorry, my bedroom was a mess because you know, the girl's like a heron outfit.

I was like, okay, I got my cousin standing over, so you gotta fuck me in the living room. He was like, I so we were being.

Bad, quiet, and nobody was a home bitch. I just wouln't let him about to think I'm some messy hope girl.

I like, so good.

Okay, Now let me ask you that though, since you're dating and you know you may be entertaining multiple people, does a dirty house bother you when you walk in, like, especially if it's a new persona.

It's not a dirty messy messy not dirty like no, like just clothes laying around.

Like do you judge a woman by the messiness of her apartment? Keep it up, getting out of that Wait for real.

It doesn't.

But it doesn't bother would you know? Okay, Danny, you that's a big thing. It's a big thing.

Yes, bathrooms mainly.

R Okay, what are you looking at in the bathroom when you like, say, oh, I gotta go freshen up. What things would turn you off about a woman that you see in her bathroom, the toilet and the sink, the toilet in the stead, a.

Lot of toilet people in the trash can wrapping that might be on a pair of or something, but maybe it just got off.

That's why you're over there, niggas, look at that. Wait, I got.

Okay, Oh they know, well, so if I know somebody's actually I have really good hygiene when it comes to disposing like sanitary products though, like if I'm on my period and I'm about to have someone in my home, like definitely, like I have a I have a routine to cleanliness.

New trash can.

Like it's have y'all been to any woman's house lately and they had condoms?

Like?

Does that bother you? Or if you see one lane condoms don't bother might bother I bother you? She's safe.

She will make me want to have safe sex too.

You should Wait, you wouldn't.

You?

You should want to have safe sex.

You should, but you know things happen.

You should, but haven't.

Bro I have sex with someone recently for the first time that didn't like he was even gonna put see and I remember like he was kind of getting soft in the condom. He was drunk, but literally right after I remember he was kind of like rubbing it on me. I said, I know you're not trying to fuck this pussy wrong.

Are you serious? And what he's saying? He was like, oh no, no, niggas be lying like he just is.

Like then he tried to tell me when he got tested. I was like, for the first time, you bitch, Like, I don't that ship really dried me up?

Bro?

I don't wait your pussy roll though, niggas do say that if you sluck dick raw and ah your pussy roll.

There are different No, Okay, you can't get a baby from oral sex for one.

True.

Oh I'm not worried about that.

Well okay wait wait wait baby, all right, I get compliments on how good my pussy smells, you are not about to fuck my shit up.

I can't imaginate everything just having my pussy fucked up because you like what Yeah, absolutely not. I would literally be in tears if I had some fishy pussy, Like my ego.

Would be destroyed. You gotta going back to doing that back to back?

Yeah, Like I knock you off the day I can't knock off tomorrow.

Look at you be a thought a PhD because.

Okay, so what's the what's the time frame you give so that you ain't sucking up a pH as CDs either way?

Nigga, I'm gonna get tested, but I'm still not gonna go back to back?

Sure, So what's the time frame? What's the gap time?

Probably three weeks?

Wow? Okay, so one relationship being a better person than I thought.

I'm a good god good guy.

I'm weak.

Yeah, all right, my wait, messing this though. Let me tell you my mom all the time about the toilet in the sink.

My mom. So when Danny said that my mom, he said.

Telling me, like when she would come to my house, this is when I was younger to like eighteen nineteen, living alone, she would be like, what is this toothpaste in the saint? Like you clean it out, make sure it's clean. And she goes, well, you know men are going to come over, lift up the seat and clean it.

And I think women don't.

In the tub.

You need to make sure they ain't.

Like the tub is the thing that I look at. I will not fucking ma if go into his bathroom and the toilet of the tub.

Like the club is a big thing for me for as far as the tueb you want a bathroom?

Do you open the carry up?

Wait? Wait, y'all do that. I gotta pee and y'all go pull back the look at the medicine cabinets. You don't, Oh, you're looking in the meadow.

Might be doing so that in case he's about to hear me open it, because you never know how hard it will slam.

I'd be like, oh, do you have any mouth wash?

And before they even say anything, I'll be like, oh yeah, because the last nigga house I went to, he has some secret deodorant.

And I was like, hold on, hold on, women.

That is sometimes I mean lead a house on my way to the club, and I forgot to put the odor on, so I got to stop at the little gas station.

That's all they got.

Oh look, you'll be ready with the lies like that. But well, he claimed right now this hotel as Nigga said, it's less para bensan. I said me wrong, nigga, Now you're worried about parabins. Nick got less para me. The niggas do anything.

Wait, my favorite niggas to say anything. Shit was when you said you showed your ex that that picture he sent you was.

Girl was from a year ago. He said that I sent the wrong picture.

He sent me a picture of him in the hospital because he couldn't make where our plans that night. It seemed like he was so fucking sick. He sent me a picture of him in the hospital. But I knew he was a lion ass nigga, so I saved the picture and it was a year old. So I waited until we went on a date two days later, and I'm we.

Was keick caring grand night.

He was tearing up that chicken parm and I splid that mother bucket fold across the table so quick, like, listen, if you're gonna lie to me, you have to do a better job.

I'm a millennial.

I know you're older, but this isn't gonna work. And I literally showed it to him and I was like, so where were you? He was like, I sent you the wrong picture.

I was in the hospital, lying, ass, what did you say?

I'm actually really mad that I stayed with him after that, And I should have even known to leave him even further after that, because two weeks later, he felt like Steve jobs Uh betrayed him and he got an android. Good Bro good Ding got an Android after after.

He'dne felt sucked over by Apple.

And I still literally stayed with that nigga with his green bubbles and all, yeah, trifling, what's the biggest lie you've ever told a woman?

The biggest lie or maybe the worst? Maybe like where you knew like and you knew that she knew you.

I knew a nigga that got blood on the bed from another bitch and told his bitch that he had a cut.

And then he I said, and then she goes where is it? And he was like, Bro, I was like, you're really gonna question me? He said. I went in the bathroom trying to figure out how to fucking what. No, I'm not, No, he ain't a lie.

Probably my grandma died, but she's been died.

Oh, I ain't gonna hold you the way they're already dead, already the way. I don't believe all the funerals that nigga went too. I swear to God, I don't believe the funerals no more.

Nigga.

I'm like, oh, bro, he told me he went to Panama to buy suits. The nigga was with a bitch.

Suits, that's what. That's what.

And I believed him? Like why I thought he needed sooth as a retired man. I don't know, bitch, Why did I believe you? In the power? Dick is hell?

Bro?

Nah?

Crazy? Real quick? Did you lie? Have you lied to any of your partners about anything?

Of course, don't do that. I'm gon always lied about the last time.

Oh that's true three years ago, I spent some time. No way, I really had. I lied about body count.

Now I just say because they know it's over two hands, bitch, I have a sex power, but I haven't left my feet yet. But well, yeah, well, and I lied because you you were too childish to be asking me that got damn question was?

I don't even in that question? I don't like yeah, like I'm really trying to think. Damn, I know I got when I was with old bag.

Oh, I can't even say this is so now go ahead and be trifling. You don't lie about being pregnant for money, and.

I'm gonna say that one. I definitely told her to. But I need it. I needed to get my fucking way right y'all. Wait y'all. Have y'all both been asked for abortion money when y'all knew the bitch wasn't pregnant. How do y'all respond to that? Y'all give them sends you a pregnancy test, but.

Like, y'all just send the money, like y'all don't ask for an appointment, verification.

Or none of that. What's the point. It's five hunder buck.

I ain't gonna hold you now, bitch the way we all was doing them COVID test everybody, No photoshop now, hey, I will photoshop of goddamn medical appointment. You say abortion right there? For for tell my my my abortion was covered by insurance. And he was a trap niggas. So he gave me mad money and he gave me the day off money.

And I was like, damn, this is really it was a real abortion.

But I lied saying like I need two days off plus it's five hundred dollars to sedate me? What it was extra fifty dollars?

I just added to zero. That's all, bro.

I don't remember anything like to anyone listening there, do you did you did you do the deep sedation? No?

I was, I was, I was, I was about to say I was alive while they did it.

I remember when they told me that if I couldn't get my legs up that they weren't.

They were gonna stop. That was the only thing that woke me up. But like I'm so sensitive, you know, I could barely handle two drinks. Yeah, but I say it all the time.

Like when they did mine, like I think they tried to like guilt me out of it, and I was like, bitch, is just a dot, Like it's.

Not even it's a dot. Take it out.

Take the dot out. I don't want to hear you just I said, just take it out. No, so they put They gave me this like ivy drip that like basically sedated me. And I remember you have to put your your feet up, just like a guy to call it this way man, and my legs were like I was really knocking out.

The shit was too strong. And the doctor was like, if you can't keep your legs up, you're not getting this and I'll let oh wake up, keep this baby out.

That ship was rough, but anyway, I remember. I remember he called me when I got home and he was like, what you want me to bring you?

And I was like, oh, out back.

I was so basic, that's funny.

I mean after my bors my mama fed me Arby's. I did not, but I felt like that was punishment because like should have been like, oh, sixteenth, about to be seventeen. I was a junior going I was going into my junior year of high school.

Sorry, And it was because I spent the summer with Weezy. Whole ass. What you went, Weezy? Did I fuck the friend? Yes?

And she got me pregnant by a gang banger who ended up locked up. So when I needed the abortion money, my homegirl that worked.

At Coastone had to play. I'm sorry. Was ghetout I know he was a gang? Yes, I did you bitch? What his friend because he was a love Yes? Was his friend of game bager? No, his friend was a rapper. His friend was a rapper. If that nigga find me now.

I really think though, when I was sending pictures back then and like be naked ship, if you got a nude before I had titties, does it count?

No? And I remember my ex was like, you better send me the newd.

Titties now, beach you pap, I'm weak, spank, We're gonna get into our hoard dir our hord durve.

Segment is where we ask our guests to give a sex tip. So you've been around quite a long time, almost half a century, so we would love to have a sex tip from you, prehistoric or not.

Next Uh, it's not gonna be crazy with this show. It's probably with the bottom of y'all lits. Uh probably will I said on my radio show.

And what's the name of the radio show?

Uh?

Shit, straight from the heart? No, because straight from the heart on Serious X ninety six.

We how do we listen to it on our phone? Since people are money, we got that.

They got that Serious xm app and you click on it, pay a little subscribing figure.

I forgot what it is. I finally trying to get a cold for all that pull something Oh boom, just remimy. But uh, I told him, you have you do missionary? You had like the little choke and you give him a little smack when they're not when they're not looking at you, like I want you to look at me.

It's kind of hot.

Oh yeah, I like that, So I'll get a little not a crazy smack, but nice little come on, look at me.

I had a nigga choked me recently and dread nigga, and he just told me to keep my eyes a little bit. And that ship was hot, bitch, because like I contact, like straight on with someone kind of knew was a little intense.

But when he was telling me, I was looking away.

I'm left like, I don't know if sometimes niggas faces don't look great, it's dearing sex.

I don't know. I don't. I can't look at it the whole time.

I'm great until the time, no, I guess.

Oh, yes, that's literally. I was telling Mandy, Oh, I ain't say it on the podcast yet about the laughing, did I?

Yeah, I can't, I'm not looking. So I came so large that I laughed, full on laugh. The nigger got soft and everything. But it was the strongest orgasm I've ever had. And it's not like it's the biggest dick.

I've ever had. It wasn't no crazy shit. I don't know what happened.

I was in missionary maybe my body was tilted, but when he was sucking me, the orgasm took like two minutes, and I just remember going up, up, up, and then like literally the second I came.

I'm like laughing hard to the point where I covered my bro and to know that that's how ugly I must look, because I was like, bro.

He literally said, like what.

You kept laughing though?

Did you push him off? You though?

Bro?

No, he got soft. I was laughing so hard and then I turned even when like you come that hardy lot. Oh my god, don't look at me, don't touch me.

But hey, this is the worst part. So I came so hard tears came out and laughing. That's what I do, bitch. I don't know.

Maybe I squired it. Then I don't know what happened to my body. But after this ship, we had dinner plans, right. I was like, hey, yo, can I get the let me put some music on. He was like, I'll do what you want to put on. I said, put on g Z one O three, like.

I need to I need my thug ship. You know what I'm saying, Like, bitch, I a little bit nah, And he.

Was like, yo, you look like a fucking bird right now. I was in the bathroom put on make time.

I had to like get my ship back, bitch, I'm crying on this niggas dick. It was like the third time we fucked. Have you ever done that?

Like?

Have you ever as a woman ever like made you come so hard that you felt like you took a little masculinity away from that.

I'm a mohay, we like that.

Men moan? Please do it.

I don't know why men don't moan. I don't know if it's something in their brain that won't let them, like release any noise.

I don't know. But ant no, I don't call that is that's a grunt? Wait, what's a man? Mom? I want you to bitch. I want you to moan. You want the bread? Oh yeah, moaning for me? I'll tell you that because niggas be quiet.

And this is why in America, y'all don't know how to talk, because we all defined ship differently around here. Anyways, we're gonna get into our horrible decision. We have a ton of vanilla ship to get to, okay, and we're gonna start with someone's talking about the male body one being that I found recently and wanted to know if you guys were familiar with it and if you would like it done to any of your partners or yourself. So breast implants aren't the only implants getting switched out

Were you not like vaulted in the clip. Yeah, they want big ball, I like a swinging ball. Did they lower when you got older?

They drop it in cases? Someone did ask.

I believe they encased the original testicle and it keeps it still kind of it's really just for cosmetic because it doesn't work the same, so it doesn't hold sperm.

All the natural things make them bigger? Does it fuck your sperm? U?

Listen, I just found out. Look, I just know that there's a picture you could have bigger fucking testicles between said, we're gonna get into the shout out of the cosmetic lane. You know, I've been looking up because I want these titties that so I've been looking up all the little.

Bro I cannot can y'all both please tell Mandy Mandy lost weight so she feels like now her titties there are good.

Okay, okay, don't they look good? Look, I can't listen. Y'all can say what you want to come and come and gage.

You don't need them done. I don't care.

I'm gonna do what I want the same way I got these teeth did, same way I lost this weight, same way I might gain some bitch, let.

Me do what I want, motherfucking do I mean, do what you want to do. I'm just telling you people will pay for them titties. Good for those people. I want to pay for better.

They sagging, they wrinkle because I've lost so much weight, Like this looks good right now, I guess not naked, and there's no way to save it.

They're fucking rink.

The only way, the only way to say, the only way to save them is for me to gain weight back then y'all gonna talk.

You know what, though, I maybe you may have a different brain about titties than I do. I really love it as someone doesn't have natural titties like I like love it. If I see like a stretch, marking and titty of anything, I love you.

Go back to our first couple of years. It was my favorite part of my body.

Not anymore they're not sitting the same and they're wrinking like they're literally wrinkly Michigan.

You know, no, I lost weight.

I'm another one I wanted to talk about. Now we've talked about one similarly. I do want to know if you're familiar with the term diphilia it diphailia. A Los Angeles truck driver known only as Tank opened up recently about life with diphilia, which is a condition meaning that he has two penises which would ejaculate simultaneously.

That's how if only one would stimulate. How big are they? Now?

You know they didn't have pictures here, But how big are they? It doesn't let me if you have two five inches dicks, I'll take you want to small dicks? I told you it'll be like double vaginal.

How's the dicks lined up? Though?

Is it given sex? That part?

I don't know.

We've talked about that. I don't know. I'm not gonna lie. I need them to be different sizes, not the same size, but definitely not two little ones. What's the point of that? Oh?

There short and there there are two fat one like I want one? Imagine like you get to do this.

When you second date that's you know what, But have you ever thought do you have? Technically?

I never thought about that too.

You never thought one of the one of the b I mean technically, wait, no, one of the b one of the b okay whatever the bootlehole in the vagina. It felt kind of like, you're it's funny y'all are dating now.

All of y'all except for me, and I wanted to know y'all thoughts on this bumble recently and now dating?

You go on dates you went.

I did go ax throwing, but it's because my ex didn't go there as much as bad as I wanted to go. So I said, oh, I'm single now I'm gonna go to Xzone. The nigga didn't even have a goat exton and I told him we go on X Zone real white people ship.

But it was cute. It was really cute. I feel like i'd be really bad at that. I'm not gonna lie. Me and him was the top two. We beat all the white people. Bitch congratulations.

It was like cute, but I was like, nigga, don't be coming with your athleticism and he did it one. I'm like, Nigga, I was supposed to win.

Oh. I love when niggas let you win. I'm like, are you going to date? You're not letting a woman win if y'all go to like anything. No, like you be speaking at as. Now what if she beats you? But you are the best, I'm.

Gonna lay you.

Yeah what I'm the best.

It was gonna be money. I'll lay you, okay, like one hundred something like that.

You money confident, I'm gonna take that.

I'm gonna lay one hundred to your ten.

If we like busy, I like, that's calling me a broke bitch.

No, that's hot. That's what it's like when niggas like, let you pay for like the little ship, let me get the parking bitch. I paid for some part. Another night, this nigga Tavit and I went to the valley. He said forty dollars. I said forty dollars. Said he parked in the front. I said, I didn't approve the you talking about. I hate when niggas do that. Now keep it in the front. I don't know. I had doll I said, that's that's what you get for offering. I passed that.

No, I like, I like making a gesture because I feel like a lot of women don't and I just but also that's kind of in my nature though to do something little. I ain't say I was paying everything, but I like a little. I love when a nigga comes, they about to pay for something.

Maybe she got it. Yeah, So Bubble is banning ghosting.

Stood up singles are urged to now report offenders for what they consider abusive behavior.

That's ridiculous.

The trendy dating platform will now allow it's millions of users to report each other for ghosting on an in person date.

So the app plan that's a no show, So it's well they're calling yeahs.

According to Engadget, the apps updated guy like are intended to discourage no show behavior through disallowing the act of not turning up to an in person meetup despite clear peans plans agreed by both parties. So stood up singletons would now be able to use the InApp report feature to write out offenders.

Now, can I just say something? Talk to me? One of my homeboys went out, old were you and I talking to him? No? Sorry. One of my homeboys was on a date and he said he pulled up.

He said, I thought that it could have been heard because she was the only black girl in his bar, and he was like, but I was like, ain't no, wait, that's not the girl I st wipe on And he was like, I didn't even want to go up to her.

He was like, I felt so forced to finish this date.

She looked completely different and he was like, like he said, he almost didn't think it was the same picture.

Has that happened with you? Like, have you met someone on Instagram? Date on Instagram or dady apps and they didn't look like their picture?

But I ain't making a date though, I just invite them to the show. So if I see him at the end of the showy, all nice to major.

Glad you do that? Is that a good way to do? You do that? Danny? Do you invite girls? You invite girls to the show.

Our shows are different. He's got shows. I got our show.

We are that a working space, nigga, I'm.

This show would but you invite them there and then if you think they look attractive, then you invite them on a date later.

Yeah, if I'm not producing the show, yeah, I'm just going up and I can if I'm producing the show.

It's too stressful.

I don't. I can't. You're doing a lot of work.

What does that mean you pick all the comedians?

Yeah, you hosting or something like that. You can't really kick it for.

So you so you wait to see if they look good, and then do you invite them out again? What's like a first date?

Then after you? Okay, girl in person? What's what's the first date that you like to do that works?

Someone's get a great conversation, then okay, some good food and then dinner goes well, what's what's an dinner?

Yeah, probably like a lounge or something. Okay, f club, lounge, drink. Oh you're saying after.

Then on the next date, the next date, the next date, next date.

Uh No, I won't be done that yet. I don't have to.

I don't mind that I would have to find out, like at then I'm gonna find out things about you. So if I find out that you like something that our second date.

As someone that's been going on dates more frequently, like dating apps and stuff, I don't want somebody in my home on the second date necessarily or third yep. So besides a comedy show, what else can we do excellently? The other day I went to the slipper Room.

That was fun. In New York.

It's like a Burlett's show. You can find one in your city. The slipperroom for less shows are great.

That's that was fun. And I one in l I forgot the name of it though, a bro less show and La tell us fuck, I can't.

Remember the name anyone.

Is that the show where it's like the we have like midgets and like tall girls and figure old titties and should yeah they have little landa sh yeah, I'm sorry little people. I follow job forgot Mandy says it got twenty twenty three, but yeah, yeah he is.

Don't get canceled. What if white ones say nigga, that's it? And even then, look at Bill Burr, He's still here.

But we'd be funny and you'll be uhgan yeah, Joe yea yeah.

Bil Bert Wait wait wait there was another comedian that was saying, because Bill Burr got Bill Marsk, So wait a second.

So we just want jail podcasters slash comedian and then I don't have to get believed out anymore. I just need to be sure that's how this works, so we will never be like I could start saying things like.

For example, I've been seeing clips of Andrew Schulz say stuff so bad that I'm like, what, like especially the way he talks about Indians and Asians. But I'm like, oh, well, he is hilarious, so like literally I was thinking about it and I was like, okay, so you're sitting next to Akash He's Indian, so it kind of like escapes it. And then you know w Andrews said with us, he says it about him, and it's like I can talk about beaches glomb right here.

Like he knows what he's doing. You know what it is too.

If you don't like spongors and stuff like that, you can't get canceled.

We get picked.

A lot of people don't want to sponsor our show either because of the things we talked about and saying as well, that's why we're on tour whore Hive dot com. Come and see a sly baby, say some who sit on this state I have Mandy. I ain't gonna repeat it, you know, but to see it live.

Baby.

We don't have a lot of Asian fans, so we were lucky, which I didn't even see nothing bad.

I just said, Chinese food is my least favorite China.

Can I just say Asian and Asian fans off to la because this is the most Asian fans I think we have. But maybe it's because I'm going out around a lot here more. But recently one of my friends, his name is Miko, and he dresses fly as fuck. He is Asian and we all know they be dressing. Let's let's bey the heypees.

Right, they culturally appropriate so I can't remember where he No, they are appropriate. Some ship Asians be dressed.

Bro.

They got a swag absolutely, bro. Look at like from.

So I don't know, like you gotta take a Harajuku style, like a lot of Japanese clothing, the way it's tailored, Like I just really like Japanese style and not but anyway, and.

The minimalism whatever. So we go out, this Asian girl comes up to me. She was like, oh my god. She was about to say something to me like oh, you're a Miko's friend, and she.

Was like no, I was just about to say like I love horrible and I was like, oh my god, Asian, I'm so sorry.

I thought I met you before. And she said to me. Shouting to her, she was like he must be Asian. I was like, no, Miko rhymes black bitch. I was scared. But I do want to say I know our one Asian fan, Fanny Funk.

I think that's her name, but I know you fuck with us your patron name because Stanny is her first name.

I don't know even if you still listen, that Funk sounds like you just made that up.

It was a Fanny f name, So you is crazy you it wasn't Fanny Fremont. We'll give you a free ticket.

All right, another Vanilla ship. And I want to know if you guys would consider this.

Actually, So, have you guys.

Ever heard of an affair consultant? So an a fair consultant is actually a consultant that will help.

You fight the urge to cheat. Oh, not the opposite, not the honest.

So resisting the temptation to cheat on a spouse or significant o. There can be hard work, but a snoke crowned a fair consultant is virally advising want to be two timers to keep it in their pants for the sake of their relationship.

The therapist man being attracted, Well, what's what's crazy? Yes?

But no, like my therapist, I was very open with her with letting her know that she's really good with business dynamics and partnerships.

And things like that because of you, bus.

I mean, but the way that I'm dealing with this healing journey with my partner, That's why I'm seeking uh a love and sex coach, because I don't feel like my therapist is going to be able to do all the same things.

I don't think any therapist between a love and sex coach.

Yes, Like, well, they probably can't label themselves a therapist because some are self indoctrine. Some may not be complete with school or have an actual degree to call themselves a doctor or anything like that. So like, if anyone normally is like a life coach, they may have took a master club.

We had a good one.

I forgot who recommended them? Was it my assistant Tiana who fucking recommended us? The girl Alison?

I liked her. We had her mediate a few. Oh yeah, that's the one. Never say that you hung up on, bitch because you was tripping. That's why she loved. We paid for this. You could therapize me, bitch, and I stayed on scuse I ain't gonna sit on the whole trick. Stayed on it. I stayed on it and got my little session done. Bro.

Every time I get upset, like I think that's when like Florida comes out.

It's like I get so ruthless and I'm working on.

It, I really am, because like I feel like the older you get, you should have better not even communication skills, but better skills for yourself.

In managing when you're getting Yeah, and that I've had to learn how to do you know what I.

Mean, Like when it's not a love relationship, because for a love relationship, you feel like, oh I have to like nurture this or your your ego is less out of it because of how you feel about that person.

I don't know, like is it just being ghetto? Like when do you get rid of it? I mean I'm I feel like I've gotten rid of it. I feel like worked great.

No, I just got into a bar fight last year, not a bar.

Wait for what happened? Some people slapped. Are you still you still got the charges? No, you just came from Canada. You good? Good god.

We was in we got a section or whatever, me and my friends and the guys just kept coming in the section. I'm like, oh man, I can't be up in it. And one dude looked me up and down. I'm like, somebody, wasn't it a video of me getting jumped before niggas?

It is a video?

Okay? Can I ask you how did the women in your life treat you after you got jumped?

Like?

Were they thoughtful? They came and took care of you. I would love to be a nurse to a nigga. I'm like, okay, shot just like weapon like that too.

But that's when my cat took the hookahstands was swinging up.

They go to jail.

Cop said, who was fighting?

I would have pressed charges. Real niggas do real things.

That's the one that's one of my friends.

Honestly though, was like, that's I'm so so hot, I'm gonna get a tattoo and get the same way. What but you know I love nursing a nigga. I'm not nigga told me he had COVID.

I probably could on.

A little plastic BA want to help now. I want to go back to this because I find it really interesting. At any point in your relationships when you had the urge to cheat, would this be something that you would have went after?

Would you wanted it to have stopped yourself from cheating? If you didn't?

No, he won that three in the morning. I was drunk when girls firting with me. He won that.

Also, Like if I want to cheat that Babbage, Yeah with then what?

Because to me, you got an impulse kind of cheat, and then you have a deeper rooted like Oh, I want to cheat because I don't like you anymore. I want to cheat because you're making me angry. Like I feel like I got to nurture today. If I'm gonna pay some money, I need to get the most fucking consultant for us.

Now I do want to share too.

So LaRusso is the name of this specific person working on anti cheating pointers that are fairly team compared to others. There is another therapist that has gone viral as well. Her name is Olivia Bentley and she helps couples stay together by sleeping with them. She sleeps with her clients in orders to support stability in their marriage.

Now imagine if that pussy too good, Olivia, she just got to keep coming in and then we'll work through. Now I'll get married.

I would say this when I was in a throtle with Beard bad and Scissors Scissors, The sex that we all had apart from each other was always good until the breakup, Like it was good fucking him when I wasn't with her, because we would be talking about her.

Thinking about her.

He would say things to me about like we were all in love with each other, but at the end of it it felt hella empty. So the sex definitely changes when it's removed. So I think that in that case it could spice it up. But at some point then you only think like, damn, now we need to keep tapping this up. Now we need to like find a new bitch, now, we need to have new experiences. Like I think, once you stop having enjoyable sex with each other, that's a very scary point.

Yeah, I agree, I agree, But also sex to some people like some people aren't that sexual, like where I know I have a high sex drive and I probably wanted a lot like Also, I have to realize that some people may not be as sexual.

Now would I be with them? Niggas? No, but don't won't you?

But for people in marriages, sometimes maybe they marry before people hit their sex drive.

That's like you know what I mean?

Like some people's sex drive will change while being in a relationship, and I wouldn't. I wouldn't suggest someone to break up with someone because it didn't match. So maybe because if it's maybe it's not enjoyable or you're not getting it a much getting it as much.

People do change with their desires. Bro, That's my greatest fear.

I literally asked this week two different niggas like, do you think I'm a morning or night sex person?

Both of them were like, you want to fuck all the time. If it's daylight, it might be the sun coming up going to who knows?

Same?

But I was married. I definitely went months with sex months once.

And so when you're married that long and you're going once without sex, you though did want it?

Right?

Uh?

Yeah, how did you keep from stepping out? Or did you communicate. Hey, babe, we haven't had sex and months.

I didn't communicate. That was probably my problem. I didn't communicate with it.

It would be like get used to it. Yeah.

I was like, I'm the nightlife guy, so I got my show and I go out party. She was the housewife, so she had to get up early with the kids. I get in through in the morning drunk and she's shaking a leg a break downstairs.

Watch TV.

What's the longest, because you're you both married in the relationships sam amount of time, I'm saying you the old nigga, But what's the longest y'all went without because you don't have kids A.

Good week or so we can have How long were you were? I mean, uh, like seven years, nigga.

You've only went a week without sucking her? I mean she was great.

Really sorry.

I feel like like he's like, really said, you don't want to do you want? At the end of the Friday, he was just so bad to me.

We're gonna have two weeks, bro, that's living together. Two weeks live was my two weeks off?

Dog?

He just said he went more. I even went longer than that when I was living with old bay because I was.

Mad at him exactly.

Oh so you wasn't given them no?

And I would masturbate while he was in the house too, and hope he heard what de Yeah dang.

And I didn't even live with my ex and we went The only time we didn't have sex was when we were broken up. Girl reading home man, Okay, I understand we fucking funny, alrighty, home mail, and we need your help with this one.

It's a really short one again.

If you want to send in your homemail, please send it into Horrible Decisions at gmail dot com. Hello, y'all. Love your podcast. It has educated me on so many things regarding sex, dating, and life in general.

Here's my question.

I've been fucking this guy for a couple of months. I am moving in six months, so I'm not taking him seriously and I'm having fun with him until I move because I don't have the energy to date anyone else right now. He's great in every accent, in every aspect except for one. He comes in under five minutes every single time.

Do we get back up?

At first, I thought he was just excited and didn't make him feel bad about it, But come on, tried making jokes about it and ask him to pull out when he feels like he's about to come, but it still doesn't last longer than five minutes. He's great at four play, don't get me wrong, But damn, I'm sure y'all have already.

Answered this question one hundred times. We haven't, So I was like, but what do I do to help him last longer?

I was gonna say, there's a de sanitizing spray. It's a little white bottle. I've seen it in a nigga's house before. I didn't know he was using it, But bitch, you might just have a more fucking I would say, make that nigga some oat mill and drizzle that honeypack, and that.

Bitch make that niggas.

Yeah, you just gotta tell the truth, Okay, but you gotta tell them, yo, babe, I'm gonna give you this honeypack.

I've heard so many things about it on horrible decisions and other things.

Also, don't say that's a good point. Yeah, you don't say like, oh, it's because your dick can't fucking laugh.

I say, this is some cool shit. This is supposed to be. My son acts like you take one too. You took.

Listen, but that honeypack, bitch, I was begging him like they're gonna come. Like the next morning I felt him and my stomach still the next morning. I sucked the dick the next morning because I it was so much.

Who would you give to green Eyes? Took it and bitch, that's the that's the email I got where.

That nigga said, going keep sucking your drug induce honey pack Dixon.

But she was so mad he kind of drugs and the cancer factory that you lied about it. Bitch, No ship pulls the whole, but no the honey peg.

And he already has good day it can already getting back up multiple times.

It got some nerves, bro, Why don't you lie I having cancer?

You can literally say many Mandy could have a video of a game.

You can't say nothing.

Lied about being in the hospitals. So of course he lies about not the horse coach.

Can nigga for sympathy. I know he beat it, not that he got it, that he some time and life he got and beat it. Nigga got it and beat it in the five months we have been together. Got bitch, drugg you know what I mean? Don't do that. She'ld be like, Babe, I'm sorry, I'm just like really having a heart beat.

Hey, I had cancer. Nothing is his hardest. No, no, no, no, no, no, we don't have to get into it. It was a really tough time in my life, you know what I'm saying. And if you know I did it, Mandy be she's swaped my nant.

So it's also big.

I told him beating me every week like I'm beating that can't gotta know. I told him stop sucking my fans. And he won't know what I'm saying.

He is.

He in the street and get mad at me too, he said, fans, he's fucking my fans. Hey, guys, I know you're tuned in anyways.

No, I definitely think the honey pack would work. If he's good with four play, we're gonna.

Get a season desist. And you know what how much that called? Because I like much he ain't got it.

Yep.

Now I'm talking about your finances. Fuck nigg oh my gosh, and just one of that. Honestly, you know, shout stop because he'll start sending me this is how much I make?

Girl.

He didn't already try to bring up how much money. He makes money ten thousand dollars a month at your age, let me stop.

Six figures though, fell for yourself.

That's that's and we know. I like, I'm just saying it's fun to talk about your cancer. Oh my god, I can't.

Okay, you better be a rich nigga fucking seventeen host, bitch. That's why I was really mad.

How are you cheating on me? I'm mad.

I'm like, I want to take he had four bitches. He was cheating on me with two of them and called me, and I'm like, I want to take you back. Every time I pay for dinner. You should have been paying my bills if you was gonna be out here fucking these home.

Oh, wasn't one of one of them have money?

Though?

So we know his one of them did have money one of them one of them, well technically two of them. Of them, I'm sorry you and stuff, damn and what on college bills? But the other two, the other two was bro. You know what I told you.

I'm not trying to make fun of cancer. Like I'm telling you. I've had family members and my best friend beat cancer. So do you know how fucked up it is to be hear and he out here talking about that ship. And you know I dealt with my best friend while she actually beat cancer.

Bro Like, that's already got the material. Don the material. Okay, that's how he learned words and it don't do this, red bloss all right.

Okay, spake what would you suggest she does to make her partner last longer?

And also what have you done to last long? I know some niggas like start like acting like.

Grandma.

I can think about No grandma, motherfucker he's using.

I use that Okay, I tap in.

Yeah. Uh, when I drink too, I'll last long when I drink.

You have a big dig spank, I do. No, you have a big nose.

And we saw the stistic said big noses equal big dicks that we did if.

Studies found I'm not, I'm Mandy. Tell me if you if you've noticed this.

So when niggas last long during sex when they're drunk to in my lifetime, it's always big dic niggas, medium small dig niggas when they're drunk can't get it up. But for some reason, big dig niggas they do.

Have you seen that be the case.

I mean, all my men have big decks. You're gonna make me go look at all their noses. I'm actually gonna go back and look at the noses. But all of them got big digs.

I told you.

If it's I can't do it, oh not the moment my period, I do. And bitch, that's why I only take it once a quarter. My boo dog gotta get back to normal.

Let them niggas die like your booty. Sometimes sometimes I'm just in the mood like you got it on the calendar? What quarterly? Once a quarter? So anyway, this is what you gotta do. Okay.

I'm not saying you got a lot of this nigga, A lot of this nigga. All you gotta do is be like, babe, I want to have a fucking wild night. I was listening to Horrible Decisions and they were talking about like the honey packs.

I found the girl version.

Just say that you did, girl, get a little Hey, this all you gotta do, bitch, get a little vitamin. See the emergency act like you pouring that shitty yours and then stir his up. Bitch, you gonna be motherfucking hydrated.

And he you know what, I didn't think about that make it seem like you're also taking a step that would be fun.

That was very smart. Damn you're conniving manipulator right here for that connection one on what well when I beat cancer, spake letting people know where they can listen to you follow you?

Oh my god, and look spake clearly. I don't know what you thought you was walking into today, but thank you for joining us.

Yes, all the ship.

I appreciate it. You can follow me on Instagram, Twitter, spanink Horton. What else I got?

I got a website, Spain Horton dot com. Uh, listen to me on the radio every Tuesday and Thursday. Well serious XM channel ninety six call Straight from the Heart. keV Heart used to be on it, but he quick because he's so and we not PC and these busy as hell too. That's the reason why quick. So it was just the other guys pass the couple boys is Wayne Naim. We all travel with cavs, so we called the Plaza cup Boys.

So, and what's the type of conversation. That's a good name.

We talk about topics and.

The worst.

About topics. You know what I'm saying?

What's going on in the world today?

We talk about top topics.

You know, ship going on out here?

Headline?

Yeah I do. I don't.

I don't have a lone of show though trending topics. If that sounds better, We talk about topics. Uh, all of us got our own segments. I got segments called man law. I got segments called scenarios. I got segments called man law.

It's crazy. You never want to hear it.

I don't think anything good could come from give me, give me, give me, give me two man laws real quick. Uh?

No, man should have two mint balls in his mouth at the same time. To what minton balls? Mint ball? You ain't never seen mints like a mint a ticket. It's a mint, but they got a whole minton balls like this like a mentos, but it's a minton ball. Oh, you can't have two in the month at the same time.

Why not? Because we give him both give his sexual sexual but okay, pause moments.

It sounds about give me another one.

Uh after sex, fellas, Uh, don't walk around in the house with no draws on the T shirt.

Bullshit.

I love that. That got the bottom of your ass hanging out.

Come on, he keeps on keep during sex. That's fucking weird during sex Syria and they let you still suck him.

I do too. I got bad tools though I was dark. I played ball in my whole life stuff like that.

Okay, athletes and they're not all.

Dark, I know, but maybe I was a dirty.

Actually that's not my experience. Say you see him at the beach yourself.

I put toes in my mouth and so I'm like, oh, look, I would put a black toe in my mouth.

Now black. We'll take it, all right, y'all. Check us out on hype dot com for your tickets to see us talk puts the hole. Make sure you pull up alrighty. You want to also support.

Us and you want more content with just Weezy and I, or you want to join us on a town hall where you get to join us in an episode, make sure you head on over to patreon dot com Backslash Horrible Decisions, beach all right and spank, thank you so much for joining us. You wasn't ready, he was nervous. You was fiddling your thumb.

I need.

You need?

How has been another episode of four Precision and bye say by sp