EP 338: Moving On Too Fast? (Ft. Alex English & Punkie Johnson)

Guess what decision we're about to make. Horrible decision? Hello, Cheerio, do you like that I knew you? You? Oh? You know as somebody that's from that damn that sucks from Sel six. I'm like, I'm from sel six and I'm from Manchester to a man, I do want to man Actually, I don't know where in place to that, but I know motherfucking London. Were coming to that dance, right y'all? We will be in London October twenty eighth at the Earth Theater.

That's right, I think Climax Tour y'all.

Make sure y'all pull up, go to horr hip dot com. You do not want to miss this. You do not want to miss this. You do not want to miss this. It's our final show. I almost knocked myself out. It's our final show. We need to stress that to you because London, if we come back, it's just to fuck some niggas we met on this trip. Oh my god, not me, I'm celibate. But if you guys again want to turn up and turn out, make sure you come Climax to Our Horrible Decisions Live show October twenty eighth

Mandy says, we need one Mandy ism.

Oh, I don't know. I wish I'm a bad friend. First of all, we go no, he said, I.

Don't listen to the podcast but our Black Girl, So it's not y'all.

It's not y'all. I don't really listen to anybody's podcast. Many of my friends got people's so I don't really know the stuff.

But we go back though.

I know, look like, do you.

Know how I described you today to someone? I said, Oh, Alex English is gonna be feeling in for the guests we have today. He said, why do I know that name? I was like, he's a Twitter nigga.

That's how I started.

Now, our special guest today is Punky Johnson Special all right, you might know her and Alex Bunk bleeply bleep the acronym.

You're not saying that.

We don't know what l g l G B t q. Is that what you mean?

People? We don't know who to say it because of the strike, can we? Yes?

All right?

Look at.

My health is Shir's on spring I'm behind the scenes.

But I thought you were behind the scenes too.

I see you don't listen to watch you don't know you from love Life?

Yeah?

Uh huh, I was you know what. Niggas don't watch this and now I.

Forgot, Yes, they they just watch it on YouTube.

Alex and I literally.

Saw each other last week when I threw up all over the places that you know you did. What did you think happened to me?

I thought you were just fucked up. I didn't know you was that fucked up? I appreciate well, no, because you know what, Actually, I have a bunk. I have to address you for a second, because first of all, we were playing Uno and we were having a great time. But Weezy decides she's she's the type of person like that. Just I discovered this that you like to like leave the table in the middle level because I had to vomit. Girl, that messes up the game flow okay, and people were

Though, I'm sorry, Oh, y'all was chipping can at the moment.

I had no idea, and I was just.

Trying to be cool and not act like I was gonna.

Throw it all over the passage. You give it drinking that mushroom.

I was emerging eggs and the beach. The chef put egg in my food.

She was she had great food though, Oh but you ate that that egg dish the first thing.

So anyway, let's talk about Pucky. So oh, you got a new podcast out, yeah with your co hosts who loved this show but ain't here. It's fine, tell.

Us about your new box alone STI gonna get a next time. We're gonna get it next oile.

Yeah, man, y'all gotta listen to Love thank podcast download subscribe. I'm just sitting up there being stupid with my bestie giving unsolicited, unprofessional love advice.

That's all.

Are people writing in?

Some people write in, some people call in. I mean, my stories be lit.

If I ask a question for somebody to come be in the pot, it'd be lit.

Now, that be lit. But I need y'all to download in subscribe.

That's the pint that needs to be started, right, Yeah, I just thought it you already like.

We're in the tang wig.

Well, it's so crazy because people rather write a letter then jump on to me too. They don't like want their voice on, they face on. They don't want people know their name where they're from. And you know what's crazy, Like we need letters for podcasts. But I'm also be thinking like who the fuck would type this ship up and send it into a podcast?

Bro, We've had people fuck their sisters, their stepsisters, brother Like it's so it's like Maury the last seven years of the show. There's so many people that, like, I've almost felt guilty for how down I've talked on them.

I could see you Huston and Jerry Springer style talk thank you so much.

Yeah yeah, well, I wanted to be Jenny Jones when I was growing up.

Gen we are Ricky Lake, Sly Jesse.

Okay, wait, you had to pick an old school talk show host, who would you be?

Ricky?

I love Ricky Lake. She was she was one of my face. Are you saying that because Ricky looked a little gay?

Well, I don't know.

I was just talking about rickyla your face. It was a small little nose. I mean I would have tapped that. But I mean, you know she did have.

Right, it's mantel for me, Williams. Ricky just had the riga old piece. Have you seen those pictures before? No drops used today? Montell Williams.

I always thought she was like a white man love well. I mean she is now, but back in the day. Who else I'm trying to face out here in the streets. Oh, I could see it, though, Baldy, I feel like we would like her more.

There's ano there's a phuddo there of like her from like two thousand and two or something.

Maybe when they broke up our cities all the black like to know what happened to that.

That's not like it would be a good power cup.

That is what happened. She wouldn't have been all these thinkings to jail a black man, all right. I have some questions these are icebreakers. And this is our favorite question. We always asked. Okay, eat asked toes both you have to pick one that stuff. I gotta pick one.

So I ask the oops, I was first really know you was out here looking feet like that.

I love that.

I don't like why you little look like well her in the corner. Well, first of all, the ass is just different.

I'll do it.

I'll do it if I like, really really, if we in some committed ship, I'll do it, like after a year and a half, you do it.

After a year.

And as it takes me some time to get right there, it is right there. I mean I might slip sometimes, but to let lay you on your stomach and open it up and get it there, that's gonna take something.

To playing you on the stomach. What the is some wax? And if I need to? I mean, how you get your ass? I pushed my shit around?

Is it crazy that I eat as what? I don't like feet?

Oh?

No, same, because I don't even like my own feet.

So this is a question. I have to ask this question.

You'll you'll the man say.

You boy, but girl, But if I have I prefer girl. But though like way.

Better man but I have never been there.

I don't want to go there.

I means, even Harry, it's not my favorite. But no, no, no go.

Not all of them. I guess I'm the expert on man as. I feel like and you got one and I have one. I feel like you have a clean ass. I feel like you keep I'm glad you.

Face today.

The curtain doesn't mash, the drape, the.

Wait gain niggas got to have a way cleaner and ask them like tell me.

When you're about god her. It's really well, not all of them do. I probably myself on maintaining down there, but a lot I've been in some and it disappoints like I've recently, not recently, but like in the last like two years. Are kind of like gotten into topic because I used to just like bottom, what is age

You mean flip flop like top of bottle versustive.

You know what age players of age has done that for me too, because I've been reversing.

I've been flip flopping myself. What is really and then lesbian?

Well, first of all, I'm not taking I'm not taking those strap. Let's just say that, right, Really, that's what I thought you meant. No, I ain't taking those strap, but I'll take a finger from time to time. Right now, you be getting finger blasted, not not plasted, just from top from top, like still fingering.

In twenty twenty three, I would sing fucking lesbian. Yes, I think.

I've probably been fingered maybe four times in the last two weeks.

The fact that you can count in the.

I mean, well, I guess you only really need tatorious stimulation exactly.

I just just get up on here, right on this thing, and I'm tight. Well see, I'm also from a place where if we seem a little fit and then we get put out the gay community.

So what you mean?

It's like, so I'm from New Orleans, and when I was raised, we just had these rules to.

Mirror the heterosexual relationship.

In the second you seem like you like like like like me fass I play ball.

I'm the masking one.

So the second I seem like I'm not, like, I'm not the masculine one.

It's kind of like you.

Didn't even we didn't need to know about ball Sony.

We don't got to worry about you showing up pregnant like the brain. No, no, it's not I mean gratulation. I be thinking about getting pregnant, but I just I just can't do it.

Is it is it funked up that it's confusing all of us, even in this day and age. Sometimes when I look at the photos, I'm like, oh, pregnant studs, Yeah, pregnant. If I do get pregnant, first of all, I need to know how.

Please let me be the first person you tell after your mama.

But if I pregnant, it'll be all for the love of comedy. It wouldn't It wouldn't be because I want to say I will have the baby just for those reasons, like just for comedy.

Okay, wait, when you see pregnant studs though, I mean, let's just say it's inscimination, Like I don't know. I would think that maybe studs are doing this because maybe they really want to feel more connected in some way, because maybe to the baby, to the experience, because there's a lot of kind of like pushing them out of

Yea interesting we're talking about pregnancy when my shoe looks like a gender revealing.

Bluey Actually was one of my questions for you later, but one of the main ice preader questions I have for you. What question are you tired of men asking you? What? Do you feel like?

It's been a question that everybody wants to know from a lesbian.

The fingering question I just asked.

The question is it's.

The it's the comments like you, Oh, you haven't met the right man. I'mst just say I'm thirty eight. I think I think we're past that. I think I get it.

Yeah, do you ever get dudes that are like, uh, I can try to change you. I can bring you back to straight men.

I asked questions like have you ever got dick? And then out and then but they get mad when I asked back, like, have you that's fair? Yeah, I think it's a fair question. But I don't think I've ever asked that question before.

Yeah. Okay, wait, platinum, right, can you tell us I want my goal star back? I want my goal star.

It wasn't good enough.

First of all, I didn't want to do it. All right, I'm gonna say something I did. I got caught. I got caught being gay, and that that kind of mixed up the family a little bit. So my mother wasn't happy. And it wasn't the fact that she didn't like me being gay. It was the fact that she was scared for my future and she didn't want me getting picked on.

Blah blah blah blah blah. She was just sick.

She's like, I just can't have my child out there getting attacked and blah blah blah bah blah.

So I was like, all right, I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try to go be with men.

But I did so when I did have sex, I did it for my mama people. I didn't do it because I was urging it or craving it. It was nothing I had to go tell us to my gay community. I didn't do it because I wanted it.

I had to.

I thought this story was gonna get that. My father's part isn't sad. But I thought this I didn't want it.

But this is interesting because very rarely when we talk to people about their coming out stories do they say I tried it for my family.

I did it for my death. Yes, I do for the team. I don't know if I did it for that reason. But a woman, yeah, I feel like I just wanted to know, Like you know how, like it's a certain kind of food, Like I just started eating uh oysters for the first time, you know what I mean. But for the longest I told myself that I didn't like oysters. It's as gross, it tastes weird. But like now I love them. But the reverse happened with women were like, I ate some pussy, well, I ate a

Oh, I understand but I was like, I'll eat it, I'll try it, and I know I wasn't like, all.

Right, you know what I want to know now while on coming off stories in the row, I would love to hear, let's start with you that you already on that your first experience with the opposite.

Six Well, mine was actually very traumatic. Uh. I was sixteen and there I was visiting a lot of my family members who lived in the projects at the time. So I would go and hang out with my cousins and stuff, and my you know, they would all ask me no one. Probably deep down inside, you know, I heard all the gay jokes, you know, as a teenager.

Book.

There was a girl in the projects and her name was shay Sheha, and I remember specifically being in my aunt's crib in the projects and they, my cousins set this up for the whole summer. They were like, oh yeah, Alex and Sha shehe. They getting ready to get busy. We're gonna make it happen. And so she wanted to She really wanted to do it. So they my like three of my male cousins all were like, Yo, go downstairs, go to the basement. We're gonna bring shay shape down

Oh.

Now, what I didn't know was that it was a setup to embarrass me. So basically, she gets on top. I know nothing. I don't know how to I don't know how to do anything.

You're still sixteen.

She's taking full control of everything that's going down. And then within two minutes, all of my cousins, all of the boys just run downstairs, cut the light song and started laughing.

Oh that is traumatic.

So that's my villain. That's my gay villain origin story.

That's your first sexual experience.

That was my first time ever. Did you nail her with anyone?

You know, no finishing round?

I don't even remember. I don't even really remember being that hard, you know what I mean, like being fully erected like that. So yeah that I do credit that moment with making me completely gay.

But did you know that you were get at the time. I think you understand.

I think you know, like at sixteen, you kind of like there was thoughts, but I don't really know what it is. I don't really have People are calling, but I don't really know.

Yeah, I mean eight years old, my mom told me she knew. I was just like yay, because I mean I was like, oh, I knew it when you were acting a certain way with your friends. She was like, I felt it now. My mom is a total hag Okay, Like I was born in San Francisco. My godfather was a dragone.

But so she was I about it, I think, but like literally, it was.

Like you were acting way too attached to them in ways that was like ridiculous, Like if they left the house, you were so upset, Like I could tell it was a crush more than it was a friend.

He was a girl's girl a little too much.

I would hunch all the neighbors.

Yeah, but I did. I did have a first gay kiss that was was it like moonlight? Not really? I mean I lived in this like apartment complex and this Jewish family had this mixed kid from Canada who would come and visit. He would visit his grandparents. These two Jesus, like older Jewish couple lived near my near our apartment, and so they saw me playing alone one time and they were like, oh, our grandson comes to visits us every so often from Toronto can you should play with him?

That's a good one.

I don't know whatever it became. I don't know whatever happened. Get a video game, started playing, Get on your switch, and like you know, he was half black, half Jewish. What he was drinking, he was drinking. I don't know. I don't know what happened to you. I don't know he took the kids. Brian if I remember his name, Brian, if you're out.

There, if he probably rs Yeah, what was George bucket By coming out story? Was your first girl experience opposite sex experience? Oh god, what you were talking about?

Man, it's very different because for women it's it's not I don't think.

I mean, I've talked to so many women.

I don't think there's a great first experience because first of all, we're young. Nine times out of ten, we're not twenty five breaking our virginities for the most of us. And second of all, we probably dealing with somebody who's also a damn virgin, so they don't know how to be sensual and know how to do it. And if we messing with a dude that that's also our age and don't really know what they're doing. That mean, they just they just rushing.

Had an experiences that you wanted to Like he said, he wanted I wanted to eat.

I mean, did you have any experiences of men where you even didn't want to suck?

No day ever, you never want having a dick in my mouth.

So the experiences you had were truly just trying to get your brain in a different place.

Then Oh yeah, I had to mentally say, okay, I'm taking this one for the same men. They men just be sweating, And I mean I understand why, because when I'm strapping up and I'm putting in my messwork and sweating my ass off as well, I understand what.

Yes, I was gay for.

Let me see, I was gay for like the middle of the show. Have you been in a relationship with Yeah, that's really why.

I can't sleep with other women.

It's almost so I'm so still hung up on her that my women experiences are very tied to her still.

But that is crazy. I just said, because I got another friend, same thing. She she went gay for the first time I ever met some woman, and she's like, hell, I can't get over this bitch. I'm like, what the fuck? She was like, y'all bitches, y'all got some type of just jiu jitsu ship that y'all be working with.

It fucked me up. We do have the ability to do that.

Still, I'd be interested in dating woman if she were okay, feminine woman. Uh, feminine woman, fine, but there are some really fine studs out there. Sometimes I'd be like, and.

You know what makes it.

It's like my friends.

Brittany Grinder. I would climb that tree. I really would.

Climb that tree because where I come from.

Gay, that's.

Never like but I never like approached you. No, we can't do that. That's gay.

There are there are no bylaws. There are no laws now that I'm now that.

Now that I'm growing up and I'm coming out of you know, just following the cultural rules or whatever. The I still wouldn't mess with a stud but I'm also not gonna shut it down either. I'm not gonna sit up there and just you know what I'm saying. Have you ever had some sort of interaction with the stuff, like the crazy thing? It was a white woman, and I remember it was like ten years ago.

I was a coaitress.

We didn't do anything, but she I was. She She used to come see me at work. I was a waitress. She's come to see me working. She's toss all the time at the comedy store, and man, she just come and man, she would just compliment me, not mind you. When I started working at the comedy store, they wanted cocktail waitresses, so I had to go pretend like I was a cocktail.

Waitress, so I couldn't be a stuff.

Yeah.

Like for the first like four months, like right after the ninety day probation.

I was cute, Like I went to work like that, the rings on my jewelry.

Oh my god, have you here one of.

Them cacters your dresses? And she be so mad. I'm like, I'm so tired of being in these wigs.

Address I have to go watch it.

I have to go watch it.

Yeah.

Yeah, so we knew and now I'm interested too, because that's a really good point to bring up. It's like, Okay, if two studs are into each other, what the fuck? I like, I would look confused, like what will I meet somebody?

Just because the niggas could do that ship all day. They all their own boys.

But the thing also, it's like, but also what I learned as I got older and move to California, there's different gay rules for different regions.

That's true.

So it's like the South, we have these little rules, but when I moved to California, so they didn't do that. It was lifts, the lessions, with lifts the lessons. It was that's what with dykes.

They didn't they didn't care.

You know what, isn't it funny how the South still is just very like even they can't like the big breed. They nobody else, you know what I'm saying.

It's like, it's kind of like that from like I guess, I mean, mid West and Southern culture kind of go hand in hand. But I know for a fact that I was just talking to somebody about this. I know for a fact that when I don't know why I chose to become this candid with my family, but I know that when I told my family that I was out here topping the boys, they were much more relieved, they were far more happy.

But their fathers are happy. Then like, at least you're doing the fucking exact God.

You know what, if that's what brings me and my father closer than I'm.

All right, my people just happy. I'm not getting smashed.

Yeah, I'm not getting arpenellawship for the week. If you never listened to horrible decisions, it's our sex and the news segment. I feel like y'all might have seen this pop up on Instagram where it said most dating app users actually specifically Tender, are in relationships are married.

You saw that I did.

I actually have two sets of friends that met on Tender that are married and happy as ever really tender tender to hinge or bumble. Actually I just married a couple in Saint Martin. You that met on Tender?

Yeah, I'm as.

What made you do that?

A friend of mine wanted to get married five years ago and she was like, bit, you're gonna marry us?

I said, okay, and now you just do it for everybody?

Is how every that's if that's how everybody got ordained a friend was just like bait, you gonna marry us? I loved to be everybody's story.

And they did a survey on thirteen hundred users, and over half we're in a fucking relationship.

And the surprising part is that the big, big percentage.

Is not going to generally find a date when they're on there, but these married motherfuckers is. And so I think what makes it so difficult is like, you know, I'm on the apps right and I'm not even thinking about that ship when I'm swiping. I'm just assuming you single. So fuck the fact that it's already hard to find somebody cute. Shit. Before the cameras came on, I was telling Punky, how this nigga want me to take a forty five minute drive to Harlem. No, I live downtown.

What the fuck am I going to schedule me a ride?

It's I love Even then, that way, I might have misunderstood what you said. You said most of the people meet and get married people.

There's a high percentage of people on tender who are already in committed relationships but are still on tender.

I just understood that completely yeah, but sorry about that.

No, But now now it I think that article and that study actually makes Tender make a whole lot of more sense, especially not even just Tender, all of these swiping apps because no one really talks to each other on here anymore.

I don't like you just you just match.

You know, it's and I noticed it because it just starts to feel like you're collecting sheep at some point, like you just kind of like getting all these numbers and these names and these people, but you never really interact with them. It's so many conversations on my like Tender am my riot like just pile up because the inbox is just like full of like hey, and then you don't hear from people anymore. And I mean I

Also do little things that start sucking me up on these apps. They either started saying something super corny or Nigga start sending the emoi mooji's, Like I literally when men write me with a lot of emojis. I have to think, did I click women as well? Oh wow, I'm sorry. I need for real like then sending me the princess thing hearts and it.

You don't fucking.

Grand Rising you get that.

I get God Morning a lot. Oh God Morning.

You need to bro you got mourning me. I'll never talk to you being out here saying God Morning.

Damn.

The man the gayest thing I've ever.

Heard somewhere, says Empresson, saying he's one of my friends in the sixties. No, but one of my friend he's also thirty eight. One of my friends met him and say, girl, you got your little earth tone nigga. I did meet him at a play market. Okay, so, but that's very I later, Yeah, especially the black play market. It's like everyday people, but with clothes. But I need to go.

I never did dat. No, I've always okay, let.

Me, let me.

I've been on this thing called down. You don't know about you remember down.

Girl, you are your age, even though you already said age. That is back back in the day before as there were there were Okay, so there was there was a down link, there was insist.

Down.

It was stuff Adam for Adam. I know that one Adam for Adam was Oh, that's like, I don't remember Adam for what it was gay you were, you wouldn't have been on it.

Did you have to type in the website down link?

Yeah, it wasn't.

It was like you have to go on. That's like when I was in BGC live, not the Bad Girl It was not before Bad Girls Club. It was Black Gay Chat Live dot com. And that was the first time I ever like was online chatting with dudes, like in Chicago out of town?

Did you have like dick pics the center? This was before you had to.

Like you we you had to unlocks. There's always been a culture of like hitting picture, so you have to unlocked for the for the other.

Personal interesting do you have to pay for the online?

I don't recall ever paying for BGC lit I it was it was mean, where are you meeting people? First of all, was historically had a long hard time.

I'm a tourist. I love long relationships. So when I'm in one, I'm in one.

I'm a pisces. You know, that's the most compatible sign I heard about Pisces. Blah blah blah blah and tourists. Pisces are so damn so what. I feel like I'm watching a game of tennis right now. When's your record you made April toors? Okay, when's your what are you December sixteen?

Sectaris? I never know what I never know what that means is. I'm not really like into astrology. I let everybody tell me what it is. And every time someone tells me something about it, I'm like, well, that sounds great.

I picked the good ship. I'd be like, oh my god, I'm so creative. But that emotional shit is really as fun. It's just crazy.

I mean, I get emotional too sometimes I usually sweep it under the rug and then blow up when I get drunk.

But I'm working on that.

But uh, I've been in a relationship most of my life, but I've only popped.

I was a hole for like two or three years. That's not all, but thirty eight two or three years of hold and that's.

All you can hold out a little bit while I was in my relationship, I mean not when I was married.

I stopped when I was married.

How long were you married?

We was married for seven years? Shit?

Gay gay marriage, that's that's twenty.

I say that's one hundred.

Yeah, yeah, you know, but actually that's why because lesbians, you know, that's you know how, that's your culture.

See, I was with for.

Twenty years though on my cod you know what I'm saying. So how do you get off of the twenty year train? You said?

Bye, bitch, I'm done stocks shit, Fuck these dogs. I'm out, Fuck these dog The crazy thing is gay people weird as fuck. Why I'm on dog support every week every year, I mean every month, I give her two hundred dollars for a food.

You are the seconds being in my life to go through a divorce.

Are you fucking kidding me? You have my kids? Hey, yeah, I ain't playing no games.

You'll be seeing them.

Yeah, I'm gonna see my kids. I'd be like, hey, I'm coming out on the sixteenth. You think I can get them from the seventeenth through the nineteenth. She'd be like, I'm gonna see just calming when you get here.

It'd be some real Oh.

I used to do that with my age. Literally the studio manager for this fucking location had did a drop off from me one time, like fuck that. But you know, I feel like with lesbians it's so much friendship that you build in another woman, that there's almost like a sisterhood that you can't have in a different relationship where you see each other in a different way that I don't have with other male breakups, And so true, I

It's hard to talk about dogs and tender and emotions. Really just brought me back to a tender conversation I had a few years ago with a dude and we were having a really nice conversation. He was gorgeous. I was really looking forward to making it happen, and then he shared with me that his dog was going blind and maybe now tell me if I'm heartless. But all I said was that's exactly what I asked, and he unmatched me.

Is that me?

Is am I a wild or was it? I've been holding onto this story for years just because you.

Told Why would you ask him that.

But because I come from a see all of this talk about passing dogs, y'all talking about visiting.

Dogs are very California, right.

I ain't no dog that important enough to me to go back to somebody from a previous relationship. I would just go get a new dog. Dogs to me are so disposable, like when, Yes, I grew up with dogs in my was with me and my mom used to move around a lot, and sometimes we would move into these apartment buildings where you weren't allowed to have pets.

So right now, sit up here like my awful and Okay, I don't know. I can't.

I can't wait to see the comments section on this.

But when I work at the office, I remember one of the girls called out because her dog died, and literally the way my boss looked I was like, he was like, I don't give a ship dog.

I love dogs, but I mean not enough to unmatch somebody for asking if I'm put the door it's blind? What use do you have? What use do you have for a dog?

That's first of all, my dog he's eighteen and he's blind, and he dogs have better senses than humans.

Number one, what I gotta do with me.

The person got his mother.

When he walking through the house, he got it all right, move right. When he walking through the house, he just he'd be like a tap tapa tap up that's the door. A tapa tapa tap that's the floor.

He's smart.

I'm not putting him down.

He got a good horse.

Good do I have for a dog? I come home from a lawn day. He can't even find you when he running.

Now you see why he's behind the scenes.

People get his ass. Okay, the hoar dirm Now I'm glad.

I shared that the hore dirve is our segment where someone's shares a sex tip.

So I would like both of you to share an oral sex tip.

Oh you go first, because I have something oral sex tip.

I can't speak on men. I can't speak on second okay, sure, but what I can speak on.

Okay.

So I've had head from a lot of different women, a lot of different women.

They only use the tongue. You got to use your whole face.

That's all great nose fall head chin, and don't they head in there.

You heard what r Kelly say. Put the whole damn it whole thing. Now we thought we was gonna have to bleed the sacond.

I don't know you what lyric you were getting ready to cross.

So you gotta go the whole damn thing.

And uh, and don't just be sitting up the suck them lips, getting them creases thighs or like getting the creases of the lips and the thigh like what.

Someone starts with the thigh. I do that with men and women, though I start with the thigh die with men. I'm too, but it's super sensitive in there, Like for the men, I can't imagine men liking you looking the thigh.

I don't like the thigh.

I don't. I don't like my I don't like that. That area is very sensitive to me and I for it's supposed to arouse you. But I'm a little jittery when.

It comes to that because you're scared booty hole.

No, it's just I don't know, just something about that area is very sensitive for me. So like whenever a dude has tried to like do that, I'm always kind of like jumpy. I go through a little anxiety when i'm I guess I'll every second his day, please go down there. But like, but like the thigh area, I don't need.

I don't need I need another man to confront No no thigh.

Like la, I like when I'm getting on.

My knees, like I kissed the thighs before I started put. I don't know why I feel like this gig.

I don't need. Just just go, just go, just go, just go.

I just like it because dudes getting harder and harder. They'd be like, oh my god, put it in your mouth and you like doing everything.

But that's my favorite. Did you have you watch y'all? Do y'all remember them saying chronicles?

Hell?

Yeah, okay, I remember every girl who watched Man They had a.

Saying chronicle where old boy was getting hit and it was just so good. His legs just went up and he was just sitting them like I'm trying to figure out that zame make that up?

Or is that a thing? Legs? They got me really upset because Mandy and I she wanted to come on a podcast. We flew to Atlanta, she canceled on the day up. Then we just happened to be there again. She wanted to come on and cancel on a gag And you know how good your work got to be for me to actually.

Forgive it was she raised an entire generation of women of I would let you say it.

Okay, Well, actually I can't just be a oral sex tip because we do need I feel like we need a scissoring tip or a finger and tip. So when you made a comment about women getting finger blasted, a dude said to me, like, I don't understand how you and your ex had sex and so many places like

I just glad and slide. You just you just so you just it's not rammed. It's a glad. It's a glad and slide.

But it's hold on, wait, give me more detail, because I don't think I've ever been glad and you've.

Got a glad and slide. Like, So every woman that I get with, they be like, the are you doing so.

Instead of so?

Instead of am I doing this right? Instead of is what you're speaking of is more like a.

More like a if you buck, I will I would with her leggs pull up to me and then I just get the work.

Does that do anything?

Hell yeah, because it's like simulations.

Oh well, you know what so is it is? It would you liking it to like putting like sitting underneath the fawsy in the tub?

What I heard.

I hear a lot of females. I hear a lot of female commedians talking about they go in the tub and they run the water on the face in the tub and they put their well gigna underneath me and it.

Just I mean, it depends on I did that when I was good. It depends on where I'm at mentally. Okay, I'm learning so much.

They're about to get on grind. I'm gonna I'm gonna go outside and be straight.

That that's interesting to me because I used to say, and my homegirls that are straight thought it was so weird. I'd be like, oh my god, I put my pussy everywhere on the titties and be on the stomach.

It's just like very messy.

And I think something that I don't get from male sex is like even though I've realized over time, like I do enjoy penetration. I think my orgasms were stronger with sex with women because there's so much platorial simulation and you getting the whole pussy right. It's like when she was talking about face. So the problem with men that they're not understanding about the vulva, the vagina, everything is that there's so many nerves.

I understand. Everybody told y'all about the clip.

That is not the only place. You know what I'm saying. It's like they feel like they're following this rule book on the clip, and really it's like, bro, I have more pussy.

It's like, you see, That's why. That's probably part of the reason why I'm gave, because y'all got too much going on.

There's a lot.

This is too much geometry, and I'm bad and mad. There's a whole lot of angles.

Is right.

There might be easy in terms of the movements, but well, I feel like I would be like, are you gonna come.

Well every but figures with women you never know. This is where my advice comes in. I think for the for the oral please sucking you can't just be you can't just be sucking on it like sucking on it will not sucking on it just like doing that like like no, suckingd on it will not get the job done.

And the real thing is too because our mouth can't be enough of pressure, and I think that.

Is not like you're doing a lot of hand the vagina squeezes.

Well yeah, I'll be thinking about that sometimes, but you can't.

Be like but why but why But having your hand on it, you still can't be squeezing it to death. You have there has to be like male ejaculation comes from the tip the shaft, you're not really doing. The shaft is only like part of it. Most of the work has to be on the tip for me at least, like you have to like that's this, it's the most sensitive part of the opinions. So in order for you to actually get the result that you need in a fast enough time. You need to go at the right pace.

Anybody say, anybody.

Say that, don't okay see see okay speak we speak for everybody. I'll be saying, why do you stay right there?

I feel like I'm sucking it up when I say, because then niggas just start doing other ship. What the fuck did I just say?

I know, it's almost like opposite.

Well, let's she's reiterating.

They get too excited.

Please when someone says it's just like that, keep it just like so.

I almost got a carpal tunnel from that ship because I see what you gotta do. It's like I've noticed the greatest reaction from of course at the tip, but like we always see the basket, we in motion. I realized like being on the tip and going back down because sometimes it's too sentitive, especially if they're uncircumcised. If they tell me do the same thing, bru, I feel like I'm in the workout because you know, little movements

We talked about the day at.

A pussy, But I remember she gave me the most instruction, and I was like, am I bad? Or is she just very good at knowing how to make herself come? I think instruction. I feel like, was it the first time you did it? Or like maybe the third or the floor of the person. I don't like too much instruction the first time, Just going and do whatever it is you down there doing and then we'll talk about it, because if we're not about to ruin the moment, put that dud, let's go to lunch and talk about it

I have a question we're about to view. So let's say someone's giving you head, a woman's giving your head, or someone's giving your head. Do y'all come do women tend to come from getting ate out. Does that happen a lot or what is?

What is? What?

The crazy thing is? I'm an old woman. I'm old now, So when did you get old? I'm thirty eight. When was your old age?

Are you thinking about I am thinking about her.

I'm gonna just say, I'm just telling if my little coochie had been around. So it takes a lot for me to take this one. Really, but unless you learn it to the team now. The woman I'm with right now, she'd.

Have learned this motherfucker.

She figured it out.

Figured two and a half years.

How long did it take her to line?

Like two years?

But yeah, because and also I had to learn too, because the woman I dealt with before her didn't like aggressive I mean loved aggressive pussy.

She'd be like, stay on it, just get it right now. She don't like that.

She wants you to start off slow, tonguekassing it. You gotta work up to that. It's like almost going to pound tongue. But it's like you got to work up to it. And she also, the woman wearing I she also don't like the tip of my tongue. She likes the back of it. So I know it's trust me. It's hard to brush the back of your tongue when you brush your confusingly like the underneath underneath my tongue. I didn't even sorry about the miscommunication.

That's not.

What you're doing it.

Maybe the tongue flicks too much. Have you a very aggressive tongue?

Yes, but only with men that love like I feel like some people you probably know what I'm talking about. When someone's in you and you feel like they're going through motion or something they learned where they're like it's almost robotic.

Yeah.

Have you ever let a man eat?

Yeah? Oh yeah, if anything?

Yeah, waters.

They have been times where I'm like single and I'm wilding out. I have had some crazy, wilding out times where I'll just like hole out crazy for two months. And if I'm just at a bar and I'm drunk, and You're like, I'm.

Like, hell, yeah, I don't know you, but but what kind of guys come for you?

What crazy thing? Is? It?

Only be omens?

Only omen?

And also a man not gonna ruin my reputation.

They ain't gonna say nothing this one dude, This had this had to be like maybe two years before I got married when I was just in these streets and he loved me.

He came to my job all the time. He's like, you know, I love you.

I love you so much.

And then finally I was like, all right, fine, I had like shots of ever.

Clear, Oh you wanted to be dead. I was crazy.

I was crazy every Clear make you switched.

And he just looked at me. He's like, and I was like, all right, come on, let'school in the truck. And so we went in the truck. We were in the truck, but he sucked it up because he was growling and doing all kinds of and I kept thinking, too much for you.

Okay, so why don't we put a seven.

There outside the door?

Okay? I just had one quick follow up question. I had one quick following follow up. Then I'm gonna do home for the for the coming thing that I asked you because I asked that because if a woman is coming from head, does it hurt or is there some sensation if a person keeps going wild, like that's the same way like if you're doing clip gets too sensitive? Yeah, and you want to push them, but do you stop or do you want them? Do you really want them to stop?

Yes, I want them to put their mouth somewhere else, but the clip being pushing the head.

It can't get some sensitive. But I have had some moments where I've made sounds that I never knew I could make because it just feels it was good. Maybe like my my new my my girl cat my ass. The other day, like she must have missed me. I don't know what was going on. She crazious to me and I was like, I was like, what are you doing down now? I was like stop, stop, stop, it was just too much. Then she sucked me up and put I was like, I don't do vibrators. Vibrators people

I came.

It's it was, I was.

It was the first time I got and I had a dizzy damning.

I was like, okay, wait, I mean, am I crazy?

Am I? Am? I terrible? Because like sometimes a dude will be like up and I'm like, well, no, you don't know, you don't mean it. I'm gonna keep going.

Because the nigga that I with his name is B d D.

On the show and after I like, I just feel like I'm the best basic that ever suck this dick. And I know and when he I watched this video of me sucking his decktails today because my whole ass me one to know, you know, I want to watch my work. And whenever he comes this is like two or three times I've seen it. He pulls his dick back from me. I take thee from my hand on my foret and be like, but like, yeah, he'll hold the tip of his dick so I can't get to it.

I recently had a guy like straight up being like, dude, stop dog. I swear to God, whoop your ass dog stop. But then but then he wasn't pushing me off, so I was like, oh what. I was like, I'm like, Oprah, what what is the.

T that's like foreign fantasy? Like they played basketball probably with Punky Alex. Okay, wait, mait, let me do this whole real quick.

Ladies.

First of all, let me say I was at your Cincinnati Live show and I had a ball, love y'all so much glad I wasn't able to see you on the Climax tour. Now that I just left a four year relationship about two months ago because the day after his birth bit you had to put some beers in here. About two months ago, the day after his birthday, I woke up around three am. He was not home, so I looked at his location, did some investigating, found out

First of all, let's be clear, if we broke up, we broke from the second we break up. I'm none of your business no more, agreed at that second. And also you condition but you can't take it. So so why let's think about why I moved out this house in the first place.

Hello, Oh, we might really need to listen to your podcast, girl. I was just gonna say that is a huge thing about control. And don't let that nigga be like you're a mother. No, hell no, Like you need to have some fun time, You need to meet someone else, get flute out and have your own favor. Bunky had two or three years, you need twenty.

Yeah, they already got a nigga all trouble on the internet right now talking about you and mother.

So that gets you nowhere. That was my fun.

But yeah, also, I'm gonna stop being nice. You literally did the meanest thing in the relationship, like you cheated, and now now you're gonna start like I mean, I just yeah, I kind of feel like he It's like this thing with with like men who really want they feel like because even if they're not in your life because you have this kid, they still feel like there's

Honestly, man, I've heard so many baby daddies use that excuse. If I can't watch your kid while you're with another nigga, I can't do this so that I guys, So you want to paying babysitter and you ain't gonna be with your baby.

You want gonna take the baby to meet the nigga? To you, is he coming me showing you my son need a new pappy?

Pound Town?

This, this whole story heterosexuality just seems very stressful. Every time I think about, oh, I should I.

Should maybe do women to give y'all, it's just bitch, just and I make this ship look fun at all.

There's always some fighting and dry.

Y'all tell the listeners how to support you in this time of a strike.

What's the easiest way to whether it be Come to.

The comedy clubs, come to the show. Understand, we don't sell out, we don't make no money. Help us make this money, can help us pay these bills. We ain't had a check since April.

Were on the road.

Now the show has to be so hold out for y'all to make some red.

Do we know that.

Come see us on the Climax tour.

But right now, like the show, like smil like we got the most like stand ups that's ever probably that's ever been working on screen and behind the scenes. Like literally almost all of us are on tour right now. Writers stand up. Everybody's on the road. She just got back from Florida, I just got back from DC. I'm leaving back out at the end of the at the end of the week. And she probably she's leaving.

I didn't even realize Quest Love was doing all these tours because then the game doing a show right now, like you know.

So so we out here in these streets. That's how to support us. But also like you know, so many people. A lot of people also are just like a lot of them aren't a lot of actors and writers aren't stand up comedians like we are. So like they, you know, repost them. Damn the memes and uh puples and France dressers screaming at people every day on the news. Go ahead and repost that and make this and send the word out.

No, that's helpful, I really want. I think people genuinely want to know how to help y'all, how to support you, especially when they're fans of your work too. So check them out and also Patreon dot com, Backslash Horrible Decisions, check out our bonus episodes, our town halls every one month we do that and yeah, we got to come to an episode with you and.

Dicey oh one, d Per Please, where the fuck is your podcast?

Nigga?

I don't have one. I feel like I'm a better guest podcast guest than I would be hosts. I don't think people really need to see and hear from me every single week. I don't know.

Maybe it's too much when you work together.

No, no, yeah, people ask me that all the time, that you need to have podcasts. You'd be having so many stories. I'm like, yeah, but y'all would get sick in me.

You give Twitter legendary like vibes.

You though, but you know, I just like to pop up on my friends successful show, you know, and and be like hey, y'all, and then I do you know? I feel like I'm a really great guest.

You're fantastic, and you made this show very gay today.

You know, this show was very gay for y'all for me twenty nineteen.

They was tired of me talking with Lady Weezy. Pride was last month. Okay, we're done.

I have not been gay like two years.

Okay, cool.

Anyway, do wear birds. Thank y'all for listening.

If you want to check these two out, please check the description of the bio to follow them and follow all their work. Do you Asso