Guess what decision we're about to make. Horrible decision. We reach the Climax, y'all, announcing our Climax Tour. We are going to be going all over the country and Canada East coast, Midwest, West coast South. Mandy's going to tell you all about how to secure your tickets because I'm telling y'all you don't want to let this sell out. Y'all heard it right.
We are hitting sixteen cities for the official Climax Tour, brought to you by Horrible Decisions.
Y'all do not want to miss out our patrons. While I first did Tuesday and Wednesday.
To purchase pre sell tickets with a special code giving out only on Patreon, and tickets will be available for everybody this Friday, April twenty eighth at or hive dot com.
You do not want to miss out. Tickets are short of sell out.
And we want the Horhive presence loud and proud now again. Tickets going sell this Friday, April twenty eighth. See there, Now, let's get to the show. Hello, guys, welcome to another episode of Horrid Blas.
This is the old I'm glad you guys like that.
Does they we love and when I do that, shiit bitch, I don't really know, you know what I mean? They like it because it's given ot, it's giving French and as you guys know, I'm going back. No bitch, Actually, I think it's giving Haiti. Y'all know, I love my Haitian. All my souls said, now, don't even be fucking Haiti.
Niggas like me. So if anybody, my whole sister is half Haitian, so are you fucking them? Where are they? Anyway? It's giving queer Haitian beating. I'm weazy and y'all welcome to another episode. It's another so low. We hope you're happy. Solo Dello fanna talk some shit? We really only hear
solo because someone didn't show. But it's fine because we actually are going to try to rebook because the gues the guest is so big we can't talk shit because what was the time that little person didn't show up? I couldn't really say nothing, And then when we talked a lot of that one. Yeah, but this other guest a little too big for us.
Not only that, do you know how ready I was to come in and flirt with that bitch who wasn't baby Bro, I know after her outfit at the ospital was the fact that the fact that I would have had to talk to you prior, like, Bro, this is my turn to flirt.
I actually gonna compete on I'm gonna say this one thing. The only it just made me think. The only guest that I think was huge that canceled because one family emergency find Yeah, that's that's It's a real thing. It all happens to all of us that when it was in Zan canceled three times. Zan canceled? Do we fly out?
Bro?
Did we not fly out? Twice? And I flew out for this one. So we flew out twice to get zaying on here.
And I'm not gonna lie bitch when people still ask my favorite author.
She's still gettingnamed. But I pulled her a soldier. Now she go after she not. I told you the Sister's socialcy I found out, which is why I'm not really a big Sister Sodier fan anymore. I forgot what you said about it. So and this is no Apparently I started to uncover this. So the Family of the Winter, they well, Santiago got out of jail, so they're real families. Sister Soldia told the story of her family right in
a fictional way. No, it's pretty much real. So one of the sisters was like, yo, basically saying, and this is something she said to me. I was on the subway looking at people read the books and like it was embarrassing because it was like my family and my life and this was all real. And so basically I think she called into the Breakfast Club like ten or
fifteen years ago, basically asking Charlomagne for advice. And the reason they couldn't read up on the book is because and I could be fuzzy on the details here, but like the family stopped communicating with Sister Soldia because of what she did to them, and so they all of the books that came after We're Midnight, right, we're fiction, weren't real. I mean, I'm not.
Gonna lie like and we ain't got it talk about even the name of the show. We've sat here, we've shared our lives, We've seen shows and other things being made that seem like it could be very much us.
We've given that story. So it's also, yeah, but it ain't our cousin that made the TV show oh is it the cousin is sister soldiers their cousin. I ain't gonna hold you. I don't think I will be mad hold on. Maybe I don't think that's one of the most famous books of all time black and White.
But but you don't know it's gonna be that famous until it becomes famous. My thing is, I if I know people in my life and I can create a narrative pulling those things from my life, and I have the wherewithal to write a fiction, nonfiction, whatever and include my experience. I assume she was around enough to where it was a part of her experience, She had a first hand look, so to turn that into a book or something creative, I don't think I would fully be mad,
especially when my name wasn't used. I think they only got mad because she was able to profit and make.
A really good part. I don't know. For me, I think like it's somewhat violating. And for example, like Kenya Barriss, Blackish is based on his life right right now. Imagine if Kenya was family members with someone else and just was like their entire life and made a TV show that's one of the best TV shows of all time. Right, Sister Soul, Coldest Wind Ever is one of the best books of all time. Like, and these are all based off someone's life. Curb your enthusiasm one if Larry David like,
I don't know, I love Larry David. I think that's wrong. Cracking up a dead little white man. I love watching herb on the plane's fucking fun.
Have you watched I don't even be really big enough white niggas on here. And I'm gona say white niggas because I heard everybody in the comments.
So I don't know why you don't say white niggas.
But I'm gonna say white niggas just because we're a family here that motherfuckers.
I tell you, I'll tell you when white niggas need to come in when we are new project that's coming as big as that is. You're right, bet you. We gonna have some white comedians on here. I ain't gonna hold you. I love me some some Larry David. By the way, speaking to white people, I want you to tell us people, tell us who are some white people that you actually think would be fun? Because I really loves Michael Rapperport and he was a great fit stops
there who else is for the people? Who said news for the people.
Everyone said that he does a great job with appreciating the culture without appropriating it.
I don't want a whole bunch of Wiggs on the pod. I mean like Schultz is one of those that like black people love because he has a show with Charlotte, like Michael Rappaport, same as Biproxy You're you're at two? Give me. I want Andrew Santino on here. He said he come on. Okay, he did house Party, so I think he got some black people on his team, now wow. But if he did house party, he was a white guy at house Party. I just want him on here because I think he's cute and a weird way.
Let me think, what white person do I want on this pot Chelsea Handler like lab panderin a little bit to me, hold on, who's someone white? I'd like just really thinking, like, you know who I really want on here? Because she a realized BITCHI funck about a nigga. Lizzie Maguire, maybe funk about a white nigga. But I would like, like Hillary, Hillary, look at me calling her Lizzy my bad Lizzy come on the show. Uh No, I would I would with like Hillary Duff on the show, that.
Would be fun, or Sophie is my favorite white guess, but like if she she is, who's your favorite white guest? He was fun. Yeah, you didn't want him? I could tell no, no, no, no. I didn't have a problem. You had very like why are we having a white guy on? Why are we giving?
I confused him with Gary On for a little bit, so I thought I'm.
Not gonna lie. I was like, isn't this nigga not taking care of his kids?
And I swear to God, as soon as I did my research, I was excited.
You said, I was happy to have him on. Mind you, let's stop.
My mama was even like, why you ain't telling me you to pride? I said, mama, Garry on Michael Rapperport. Wow, I literally didn't even know my mama knew him because my mama like niggas.
When my mom was like, you didn't tell me, Oh, I know what I want. Alana Glazer, you think she follows us from Broad City? I think she either follows us or has tagged us and some stuff.
I don't you never watched Broad City. We talked about you talked about a lot on the pot.
But anyway, yeah, definitely she gotta be on here, especially because she was fucking literally though. Of the opening scenes in Broad City was her riding what's his name? What's the black dude with the glasses? His name's weird.
That is not an easy description. Who's the black dude with the glasses? His name starts with the age.
When I say it, you're gonna be like, oh, Hannible, Yes, hey, I only know.
That that was his name, because bitch, I'll be like, don't isn't that the name of what each people?
So we got to send this. You name someone Hannibal, like Cannibal with age. It's just weird. Hey. You know what was a crazy fact about Hamible Burst? I saw him at the not the Roots picture. Where was he at some festivals? She cat that Nigga is a rapper and a good one. He wraps. Yes, he came out in the middle of their set and I'm like, this is going really well, who the fuck is? And then I'm high said, I'm like, like the b it is Nigga? You remembered him just for huh? You just remember him
from being Road? Was it just the one episode he was in no, no, no, I remember him for the whole season and also like other shit. But yeah, anyway, she'd be great. Okay, So I this entire episode was fans basically telling me what they wanted us to talk about, which really could be so many other episodes, but one of the things they asked for is that we dive into the unpopular opinions about sex that were on Twitter. Oh okay, so I have a few. Oh wait, are
we getting right into it? Yeah? Oh this is our icebreaker? Oh icebreak? Okay, let's go imagining sex is better than real sex. Get the fuck out of here.
Sometimes my said is dumb ass shit. Yo's get the fuck out of here. Yes, I'm talking about okay, tell me, tell the truth.
I'm telling you. You fan about it about sex all week. Sometimes you're telling me the dick me you were better than the dick I beginning. Fuck yes, but it makes me want to sing after. Do you know what's crazy?
When I broke up with my ex, I was in this little funk, had the little one, young nigga one hitting.
For shit, went back to some old dick bitch.
When I tell you, I had to call all my friends like bitch, I ain't cranky no more.
It changed my whole outlook on life. It does.
It does Imagining Dick No, I've been imagining fucking Jason Momoa forever.
It doesn't make me feel better because it's not real.
Hey, y'all gotta stop sending me them goddamn videos of him and his Tarzan rap because it doesn't help the calls.
Fuck do you be seeing that nigga in his little Tarzan rap o? The world? I know, I'm into the world. I'm so mad he give it to speaking of old Dick, I'm a fuck BDB this week? Why because I feel like it, just because you feel like it. Also, he must be really horny because even putting the pressure on me Beach, even replying to the story, not the story, the story, he'll like, it's just a lot more like a contact you haven't with me, And he'd be like, yo, bitch,
you keep playing with me. And I kind of like when niggas talk to me like that. Also, I indulge, because like I'll send him pictures on myself that I know look good and he'd be like, oh, look at your hair is getting long.
It was like it was good and you said it was big and London hotel and medium, like, will he be able to tell you that big dick?
Okay one? Oh you're not seeing no, No, I'll just say one. It's a muscle mandy. Oh wow, just as I fuck one big dick nigga, you're telling me if I fucked him weeks later, he's gonna know weeks. Oh you put time between it. I ain't know, bitch, I haven't fucked him in a minute. Bitch, I'll fuck two niggas in a week and one gonna know that thing? You think? So in a week? How many days between? I said, same week? Vinny told me he'd be knowing. That's what I'm saying. But that's the asshole.
I was about to say that boodle hole will be open for a couple of days after. Yeah, I ain't even bending over for kuchie play. If I had antal sex that week, b bb I will need like a you're gonna ld him in your booty. I literally like was talking shit in a text. Actually, I gotta reach the text, and bitch, it's so like embarrassing to myself.
Eh h. I said, okay, you know we getting lit right, Like I want three rounds? He goes, Oh, well, I don't even really drink like that anymore, but yeah, I said, two at night, one in the morning. He said, you can have whatever you want. I said, actually, you're probably gonna break me. He said, I'm going to I said, okay, so one point five, I'll just suck dick because you be trying to kill my pussy. Sometimes I don't want
to take this text message thing too far, bitch. I don't like when niggas hold me accountable what you were saying. I'm like, I love that shit.
No oh, and don't let me fucking niggas who I ain't fucked in a minute, And I know there was so much time. You don't fuck somebody else whole time. You fucking me. That bitch ain't take dick like me. Huh oh, I'm talking shit, take dick better than me, not the mother bitches whole time. Because I know you don't have some mother I'll be running. I don't, and I let them know I'm gonna take this a big, big dick.
I'm and never not run from BDD bigger like medium dicks I can take.
I like a challenge. So I am cool with being in pain, and I just want you to. I'll even hold my ass open like you see I'm taking that.
See how I'm taking that?
And I have heard a bit, but do you see how I'm taking all that dick, I'm taking it off.
You sound like a slave. You see how I'm taking this? Shut up. I'm just saying you see I'm taking that, Jill, I just do sing last one. I feel like you. But just think about it for a second. Okay, let me think about it first. Unpopular opinion waiting to have sex makes it better. Now. I do think this is true. I want you to think to give the timeline on how long you think is too long. And yeah, I think waiting to have sex is better. I think you should go if you really feel in the nigga, one
more date more than you think you should. For example, mine is normally three days. I fucking but like waiting a little bit more, it makes it better. Now. I do think there's a point where you can wait too long. I've had an experience like that where there it's a waste when you get get it right. But waiting is good because you kind of connect a little bit deeper when you buck too soon. It's kind of like there's nothing really exciting anymore. But I do like getting to
know someone better before I fuck them. Then I'm more excited to please them, and I'm more interested in sucking them. I feel like I like to get it out the way I know you do.
But if you had, what's the longest you could Let's figure out if we like each other intimately and sexually, because even if it's not good, fully good the first time, we feel like we could work in it, and we still like being around each other after, we gonna keep this going. I don't see the reason to wait, because if you wait, then you're friend zoning the person.
Okay, what was the reason? No? I just what are you waiting for? What are you waiting for? Waiting to have sex build the bond between the two of you a lot better.
So the commotion saying, sell that dick in my mouth, That's what I'm doing.
That's the only waiting I'm doing. Do you not agree that when you're more emotionally invested someone, the sex is better. Oh?
Yeah, like my ex love them best dick ever? Right, it took us a long time to get to love. Okay, anyway, let's today rule with your phony as that's phony.
I want to fuck you when I'm gonna wait till one date after three days, even if one more. I'm just telling you, yo, it's the ship. My trainer will be saying. She'd be like, listen, whatever you think your breaking point is, right, Like when you're about to give up. Let's say it's a plank or whatever, right, and you're holding out the plank and you feel like you're about to collapse to five more seconds. Yeah, I out for niggas.
I'm not really interested in why, because maybe they'll spend more, maybe they'll do more work.
But if I want to fuck you, I'm gonna fuck you. All right, let's getties. What are we waiting for? So Mandy is the popular opinion, don't wait all right? This is a very weird Vanella shit. It's from Mirror dot co dot UK. I love this. Just talked about this yesterday, you didn't. It's a new device that allows couples to kiss even if there's there are a thousand miles apart.
The remote Kiss a pair of silicone lips studded with motors pressure sensors developed in China, promising to recreate pressure movement and the warmth of a lover's kiss. It allows couples to be intimate without even being in the same country. Now, I'll be real I use the wee vibe a lot with lover boy.
I remember that that makes sense because it's on your puissy, it's on net set of lips.
This to me not fucking kissing a device. I think. I think we're only going to see mortis because the more people travel for work, the more we got like you.
Out to see here and make out what a silicone set of plastic ass lips.
No, but I think we're going to start seeing more weird shit like I don't know if I ever told talked about but this reading this made me think about it. I think the longer that we get into like or the more we get into like technology and AI shit, the weirder people get. And Enoch said to me recently after Thailand, he was like, yo, Like, I realize I've been working so much from home. I don't have a lot of human interaction, Like I'm getting weirder. And we
were laughing about it. But I dated a dude who, during the pandemic didn't see a lot of people, and he said he went to a place to get like stretched like a chiropractor. He said, it was so intense going to people to get stretched too. Bitch, I do we know, Mandy, I've been getting stretched anyway, long story show. Basically, he was saying, like that touch alone made him feel more connected and better. I think people like that are
gonna use sh it like this get us toughed. Animal like at this point, you made it's not the same. Imagine how weird that is?
Bro make out with your hand. It's cheaper. It's skin to skin. Literally, it's not silicon.
You make it out way. Also, like, what's the time delay on the makeout? Now you're asking too much? Just think about it. Now you're asking science. Bitch, I do not know?
This is like all the remote kiss Oh, like it is science. It's also weird, by the way, is it is it two sets? So one person has it the other person has it?
Yeah, and look where the phone is you put the phone? Yes, all so you can like look each other in the eye. And so that's weird because I don't even kiss with my eyes open. One customer said, my partner didn't believe that kissing could be achieved at first, so her draw dropped when she used it. This is the best surprise I've given her during our long distance relationship. Bro, it's so cray, it's so that's not to me. Also, I think what's going to be cool with this? Sex workers can use it, like.
With clients, don't if they If people are paying sex workers, they want the real deal.
That's the look at CAMZDA, look at only fans. Oh, think about that. That's weird. No, it's not. That's weird. That would keep these homes. To me, this is just weird.
Like the idea of kissing long distance and you're kissing into a device.
It's weird. But like I'm telling you, we're only gonna see up. Bro, go to a club and make out with your friend.
If you want to kiss your bad fucking go to a club and make out with a stranger. People don't have dive okay, then a dive bar you could always, or go.
To the gay club.
Gays love making out. They will kiss you if they don't want to fuck yo.
Will and Grace taught me that. No. Jack was like, Caro, we can we kiss, bro, you are gaze love. I literally got kissed on my birthday by one of my my home boy in Chicago. Who gaze? Hell? How do they do? They kiss your gay homeboy or a stranger at the bar.
Don't be kissing the silicon shit unless you want to pay for an add on this here podcast.
Commandy for the hord Derve. We're gonna talk about a rogin his zone and the word is a rogen. It's not euro genus. I said it.
I said it like three times euro genus. I was like, what type of zonees she talk about? Go ahead, what do you think the most common eroginal zones are?
Do you know what? Like erogen? This is what turns you on?
Arousal arousal zones your job, yeah, bitch, okay, so arousal zones clearly your your genitals? Okay, so penis and pussy, titties, nipples, neck, ears, toes the.
Most common ones. Neck, genitals, lower, abdomen, and breast.
You too good? Oh now there's fourteen. Now how do you team? They just naming the body parts. Now that's what I was thinking. One No, bitch, this, I'm ticklish. I've had niggas kins, my arm pists. We're shoulders.
I can see that.
I like shoulders, okay, but basically thighs in a thighs.
Behind the knee. Here's all of them. Armpits behind the knee, bottoms of the feet, lower abam here, genitals, hands, inner thighs,
lower back, mouth, neck, nipples, scalp, wrist those all scalp too. Okay, So basically, even though these are all common and rogen saw there's fourteen, the number one thing that you should be doing is experimenting by touching them slowly and seeing if you find the partner like leaning towards you or like, for example, if you touch their scalp now with this sewing I got, maybe I'll do this, but if it's
my brains, maybe I'll lean back like. You've got to check out their body language to see if this is something that they're looking for. But while doing that, erogena zones aren't just used during partnered sex. You can actually do it during masturbation, so you'll achieve full bardy orgasms if you're stimulating your own a rogena zones. Well, I touch my nipples every time I have simulating my mother
fucking puss because a phone is in one hand. Actually, phone be in his hand, toy be in his hand, and it bitch, how else am I gonna touch anything else. How I need my touched so much. Nah, that's how I played onet. So just like this, like sick nipple fuck remember him, I ain't gonna lie.
I love asking him in if they like their nipples because I love like licking the nipple.
Oh my god.
I was just fucking this nigga and he was about to come, and bitch as he was coming because he was on top, licked my little fingers and started rubbing that rubbing that little nipple. Why he was shrugging me to come, bitch, that's me rubbing his little nipper.
So you're turning a knob.
Bitch, the nipples a knob. So he fucking me and I was like, oh, yeah, he's about to come. What my fingers went up and started rubbing that goddamn nipple.
That nigger came hard, one nipple, one nipple. I like to put it in my mouth, especially only if they're on top of me. Then I'm like that's fine.
First off, my neck came that long, and his niggas be tall, it'd be it'd be a little stranger.
So that's I just licked my fingers and do a little bro I had a tall Nigga. It was so funny because he hit on me and I was literally thinking about you because I was like, this is so Many's type. He was really hot. But you know, I don't like how. I don't because I'm matter. I don't like him pretty pretty. Oh, you know I like him pretty man. I was out to dinner. I was on a date.
Me and taller Perry got the same type. Yo, Me and taler Parry got the same type. I look like you will be cancer by taler Pan's actually a.
Really good bio in a tender like. So Nigga pulls up on me and he was in the restaurant and I was on a date and I went to the bathroom and I saw him look at me, and I was like, come to the bathroom. Because he was by hisself at the bar. He pulled up on me and he was like with your friend. And I was like, man, you are home. He was on a whole lass date. Bro.
He was, how are you starting at the gate line. He was supposed to be a realize bit. I said, no, I'm not over today, my friend. I was on a date, so I just lie oh, and he was like I.
Just came to save it up. He was up. She was like, oh a bitch. Ah, I hate when I said happen. I was at a sushi restaurant. Boy, bitch. By the way, I know y'all loving this ship. Yes, they're back to being the house. This is what we subscribe to. I just I feel it.
I feel they're so excited that we have all these stories about all these niggas.
I don't know that many stories. It's given stories whatever, given work.
We're dipping on, dabbling in the past, the whole homeowner talk, the cry and talk, the therapy talk.
Yeah, we just haven't talked about sex on a solo in a minute. We've been giving it. No, we've been giving the attention to the guests. You're right, You're right because we're good and history. So yeah, when he was so Vie mean that, this part of me was like, I like, give him on Instagram, but like that's also so trifling because like I'm on a day, I can't.
No, don't give out your Instagram. You give it out your Instagram? Is that you're not that interested? Also me getting my Instagram. It's like they're definitely gonna be like, bitch, I don't want it.
Anymore? What horror? Not feeling it? I was a nice girl at the bar before I clicked on weezy WTF, Like what the fuck? No, No, I do not like give it. I do. I hate when niggas ask me my Instagram. I'd be like, oh, it's not really a tool that I use.
Oh. I used to say that at work. Then I'd be on Instagram all day at work. He'd be like, you're on Instagram.
I thought you did have one. I don't. Oh, I ain't got a bitch hold on this, I know. He was like, even though maybe, how do you know he was my type? Not only was he talllest, but I don't know how tall he was, but light eyes, light skins tall. And then he said, I don't do that, how light skin. I don't like him too light, light enough? And he said, what do you say? He was like, when am I going to I want to see you again? And I was like, oh, sorry, I don't know if
that could happen. He was like, damn, I'm gonna be overseas for a minute. I said, noah, he's a ball are well, no, maybe not, because overseas the seasons about if someone says overseas they play ball. Everybody else is like, I'll be in Europe for the summer. I'll be this. Yeah, but the niggas they play ball use the burbage overseas.
But it's not it's not a basketball season time. They all about to come back here and be here for the summer. The season is between April and May. Unless he's playing for like he said, guitar.
You know he lied.
They don't get a league over there unless he's literally a native. I was gonna say, maybe he isn't like a military thing, then it could be. Didn't say basketball, you know it could He was just because girl, I'm counting down, bitch. He was really talking one of my niggas get back and I'm wait, how did you go to the guitar then with that other nigga?
Because he played there.
But the season is like the same regular basketball season as basketball season.
Well maybe that's when he got to go visit his children there.
Unless he plays for like a country, so during the summers when they do like sometimes like if a guy is in Puerto Rico or dr for the summer or anither maybe not Puerto Rican but like any in Republic.
Uh, they play against the country, you know, and there goes Mandy with your esp horr n now horror. Okay, so for the horrible decisions, here are some of the things. There was a lot, but this actually was my favorite. So let's start with this. Wait, what is the horrible decision? Band requested topics? I don't know, well, man it later requested topics. Let's get into it. This is a lot of these could be their own episodes, but some of them are funny. One girl's type this in dating the
corny guy. But you a hoe Now, I just would like to say, the corny guy that comes to the hose is God's gift to you slowing down. I've met a lot of it, so yes, because they're showing you that, like, hey, we'll take you in. What it was that joke like Chris Chris Rock said, like Chris Jenner, we'll take you. She's a statue of liberty. That's what I'm saying. Corny niggas be like, yo, I don't give a fuck about your past. So what you stuck seven hundred dicks? Does
that mean they're cornyated? Does that mean that they're just no, no, no, I'm not talking about that I'm talking about the corny the actual corny guy. What is corny to you? What is the actual corny guy to you? I dated one? What's the corny guy? The corny guy is the guy that is square, that maybe hasn't been around enough, he hasn't really gone out a lot, that's not really part of this thing. Maybe he's always in the house. Maybe
he's like a little too into work. Maybe corny in terms of like asking you about your work, like because that are I don't know, I've noticed what I'll date like corny guys. They're more like so like you know, just certain questions. They'll ask me about sex, podcasting, put the voice on, I do think and one of the things get it to your corny bag to like do you basically you tell everybody about just that, like you tell people we own this date, Like what's it like?
So what happens when you know what I'm saying, someone gets met? Do you have to go to lead? It is like weird shit, I don't know, just make you uncomfortable, like I can't explain it. I think. Also cornie is maybe the long text, not just like the good morning, but it's like they kind of are cheesy in the way that they try to talk to you, or maybe it's something about the way that they have sex with you for the first time.
What I don't know if i've I've never been with a corny. I mean, I get the long text messages, but I would prefer nigga to know how to form sentences and talk like I like that shit.
No, the corny is when they're like saying, like the little jokey things that aren't that funny, but they're like trying to find a way to be cool for you.
Like soe you know, corny to me and y'all don't company. Corny to me is like scheduling when you're gonna get on your video game because you have to meet up with a certain amount of people who play at a certain time. Corny is dressing up at comic Con and really being excited to be a superhero.
I don't know that it's corny. I think that's nerdy to me. Similis well. Anyway, the corny guy has also shown me how regular life can be and how much I enjoy that not corny being regular. Not the regular nigger be a corny. The regular niggas aren't corny. Okay, that's but you know, I like a lot of Amazon up a usp a day, my type. Okay, but that to me is a regular nigga, not like nigga. I
just think corny has been used so much. And I mean I know that they've like corny guys wear their work clothes to a happy hour and stay out in them all night. They wear suits to the club, things like that. They don't really have swag, they don't know how to dress, but they got money so you could like take them out, which is why I guess Russell Wilson gets that. Yeah, I think that. Like what I
don't like about Russell Wilson. The Twitter argument is like, oh, because he loves his wife, he's corny, Like yeah, no, No, it's the way he looks that bake account look good. It's his overall vibe. I'll date a corny nigga with a Russell Wilson. But that's the thing. You can love and cherish your wife. And do you think people call John Legend corny. He's a family man. I never hear them do that. He got his own vibe, But like Russell William Wilson kind of don't. There's something about him
that's corny. Okay, he's not as extroverty maybe so, maybe because he's a little worm and serious. But like John Legends, another black man that I'm thinking about that's a family guide to us. Who else is someone anyway? Okay, so let's see the other one. You know.
I feel like if you a whole, take take whoever love on you to me. I still believe that hose should be with hoes because they understand each other.
It's the most fun relationship.
I think hose need to be with hoes. Corny niggas need to be with Corny.
And hoes being with hose well, Like, Okay, corny niggas always asked me, like if they've heard me talk about having a sugar daddy, they're like super invested on what I had to do or what that means. Well, because that's a different lifestyle that they don't know about. These these even regular niggas know. Like, for example, a regular nigga may not know about that himself, but like at least he's seen enough or done enough or been around enough to where he'll like laugh and joke with me
about it and get it. But corny niggas have lived such a sheltered life that they don't understand. I ain't gonna hold you. Give me one of them then, I don't want nobody to know what the hell out of date in my pad, But I know I do think corny niggas can work out again, if you're looking to, like slow down, I think they'll they'll help you slow down. The only problem with corny niggas is back you have to sale bore you. Corny niggas will bore you. I could do regular niggas all day.
Unless you have some corny elements about you, like maybe you like sea turtles, So now y'all could go to sea World.
Together, and shit, you know, I don't fucking know. Maybe you really tried to pull it out there. I tried, Okay, I'm trying to help. Now here's one that specifically for Mandy. They didn't say that, But do you ever get the poison taste when you eat a guy's ass? And what is that?
Umm, ain't gonna hold you, like, I've had some really good experiences eating ass. The poison taste, no, but like I'm sure if they ship that day, you might taste something that's not skin like.
Maybe she's saying metalic. Maybe metalic. Maybe she's thinking it's supposed to taste like a penny. Time. I was gonna say, there's a I looked up rimming and a few people say that eatn't ask tastes like pennies.
That's probably when they're ship there. To me, it tastes like skin, skin and hair, hairy skin. Sometimes it's some hair down there that you gotta get past.
But oh wait, Charlottagne talked about that. To me, I'm looking to taste something. You should probably smell something. Maybe I can see why it would taste like copper. Have you taste it. I'm not gonna lieta bring this up on the record, but.
I'm not gonna lie if if it tastes like anything, that means it smell like something, which means you shouldn't be eating it.
That's not true that because Lucy could taste like something.
I'm telling you about the asshole. We're not talking about the pussy. Okay, okay, I'm talking about the asshole. If I go down there and it smells like something, I'm not gonna lick it. I'm gonna go right back up to the gouchen, back to the balls and go back up now because I'm sniffing down there.
If I don't smell nothing, then I eat it. I ain't really been down there, and be like, oh, I can tell what you hate today. So you've got instances where you smell it. What's it smell?
It smells like sh No, not even if it smells like shit, like sometimes it'll smell like musty.
And if it smell musty, I ain't going down there.
Yeah no, no, like maybe you didn't shower before you got here or like. And that depends on if you know we've been out today or whatever the case may be.
M M. If I go down here and I smell anything, I'm not going through. I hate when niggas want to eat my ass. After doubt, I guess.
So, oh you know, I let them licking and I push their head away. I'll be running, get the fuck out my I don't want you to have that memory.
Yeah me, neither. You know what I'm saying, Like, I just want you to farted.
And you knew you was about to have sex, and so before you went in the bedroom, you just kept opening your butt cheeks to make sure all the air was out of your ass.
Cheek.
I did, because I'll be scared that the fart's fumes is gonna stay lingering in my butt cheek like captures it.
Do you want to ever? Just be like do you should we mark this in case you want to remove this? I lift up, I lift up.
Once she lift up the under this spread, I'll be walking around the house like moving this goddamn ask to make sure all the air bubbles is out from a crack, because I'd be like, oh.
The things smell.
You don't never move your ass sheets to get your fart smelled out of your butt.
I swear to God, be like enough, Maybe as ain't big enough. Oh bitch, I'll be moving his ass like, okay, it shouldn't smell no more. You really don't do that. No, I'm wondering if anybody else does you have.
A farty and you felt like it was wet so you just went into the bathroom get away?
Why? Just because absolutely? He was like, let me make sure. Yeah, yeah, okay, same thing. Also, I'm gonna be real with you. I started like eating protein shakes, nasty and fart smell and I have I was like, I was like, maybe I won't be fit yn't ask. I was like, is that a fucking egg? Bitch? I don't like you're allergic. I cannot like, dude, I don't ship or fight around niggas. Did you faright around your ass? Oh? All the time? Bitch. I am a human being, so you're a woman. Wow,
that's just are you serious right now? Absolutely? I'm dead ass. Seriously, I'd be laughing sometimes so hard a little will come out. I'll be like you baby, part.
Niggas, I part, I'm a human fucking be now. When it's smell, breathe out that ass a little bit like my bad or. I would blame my cat body. You stay cast, nigga.
I love blaming my cat when it's a smelly park but it's silent. I like this cat dance. You won't never blame Nina for your part. No, that's a real one. Fellas. Ladies, if you.
Have an animal and you guess I told you, blame your motherfucking an.
My mom, blame me. Can I ever tell you this? To know me? Not farting or shitting in front of niggas comes from my family life. We were in Miami. I remember it. I was like ten years old and I was on one bed. We were in a hotel, my parents were on the other and the fart came out and my dad goes Gila, and I was like, what that wasn't me, that was mom. And my mom doubled down and she was like, I never fart in front of your father. Stop lying. I was like, oh,
And I couldn't believe she blamed me. And I remember the next day she was like, I'm so sorry, sweetie, I never fart in front of daddy.
So I just how, how how do you not fucking fart in front of people?
Because and they've been together thirty something years.
Just because you hold it in and keep it silent don't mean you ain't fart to leave the room.
I don't like niggas parting in front of me either. I'm gonna be real with you. Old Bay didn't do that shit either. He would leave the room or something. They'd be once or twice where I'd be like, was that you, and he'd be like I thought I had him. I ain't gonna hold you. No, get comfortable with me, nigga, No, don't get that comfortable with me. Tell me your hope, streams and fears. Don't tell me your part is bitch. Okay, anyway,
this one's an interesting one. How do you know if you're really horny or if you're just fucking the pain away. There's someone who is depressed that wrote us. I think it's when you want to have sex because you want to forget something, you know, that feeling. Yeah, I when I'm really horny, I'm masturbating. I'm thinking about it.
Horny, I'm I'm into even just busting off porn masturbating.
I realize actually now.
That I'm not as horny as I am just wanting intimate touch because I have the options to fuck people, and I'm literally not so because I'm not I'm like, Okay, I know that I want to have sex with reason, and I think we've talked about that too. You're on the podcast like having sex just to fucking have sex. I'm not in that space anymore.
So.
I think if you get to the point where you're only wanting to have sex just to have something to do, that's where you're not warning.
You're probably just to me, that's like trying to fill a voice. It's almost like drinking. Like you know, when you're going through a phase or where you're trying to drink to forget pain. Yes, you know what I'm saying, like for.
Me or or I mean, there's a lot of things there can be if you're just blowing money, like shopping excessively because there's that, there's drugs, there's you're going out and partying all times of night, just because you don't want to be alone.
Like, there's.
Definite ways that you know that you're doing something to run away from time.
I definitely went through all of those. I think when I was when I first moved to New York, I f through depression and that was awful because then I would feel empty. Then I went through the phase of drinking and partying, and now I'm not depressed right now. But I'll notice at this age it's shopping and it's and it's a shopping habit so bad that I can't walk down certain streets. Oh yeah, that's bad. Oh it was really bad. I think it was. You might need
to go to shoppers Anonymous, twenty twenty one. Oh, bitch was bad, there was. It was so bad. I was walking Nina through Broadway in Prince Street where the protest store is walked inside and the nigga that helps me in. There was like, girl, you don't need none else. That's bad. Yeah, that's really bad. Now they made commissions. He's bad. Probably likes when you come in. So when you got a problem,
there was that. There's also now to this point, I even made an Instagram Wheezy's closet because I have so many pieces of clothing that I don't wear. I have so much crazy, so much excess. I think that I only have two bedroom houses in both cities because of clothes. That's that's not it's really bad. It's so much stuff with tags on it. I had a woman come recently in to help me organize.
The same and you did, Yeah, Mike cleaner nose a woman's shelter, So ticket to the woman's she's so good.
Oh yeah, I just get rid of it. My best tip she gave me. So she said two things to me, which was a little scary. She was like in her fifties, like a Dutch woman. And for me to hire somebody white and that much money, you know, she had to be the best. I'm just gonna say it. She said, well, I don't know if you went through a breakup or
what's been going on with you. But all of these clothes have tags, which leads me to believe that you just go out shop throw it in here, and you just need to do that to get through your day. And I was like, Okay, that's scary, because it's true. We went through a bunch of shit. She gave me a great tip. She said, you have to take pictures of the outfits. Remember you have them made a folder
of my phone. That was dope. So we took a bunch of pictures on how to pair them, and she was like, go through this when you're looking for clothes and you won't make a mess. The other tip she gave me was every time you walk out of a room, have something in your hand to put back in the next place. So if you're in a messy room, she's like, don't be scared about oh my god, I'm gonna have to clean. Just say, okay, this belongs in the kitchen. We bring this here, this belongs in living room. I'll
bring this here. This let me hang up, Just take something and bring something back every time to clean up. Doing that's a good tis that's one. But yeah, So I say all that to say, you should know, bitch, I think you're just come on. If you're depressed and you don't care about the person you're fucking with, Yeah, if you're depressed and you're just like whatever, I have a free two hours, then you know you're not hoing. This one's a cool one. Best ways to respect a
partner in an open relationship, that's for you, bitch. I ain't have been in an open relationship. I think for me, everybody is pretty open in an open relationship about their hard nos. And I think the hardest thing to do in an open relationship is be honest. Damn that's the hardest. I think that's any relationship. I think. I think that's the hardest thing open relationship. Honest they do. And why
I say did, because I mean women to everybody. But sometimes the basis of an open relationship is honesty, but we know that another big layer in the big cond of it is jealousy. Yep, we don't want to know that, you know we're going to be forgotten about it. We don't want to lose you. We're both trying not to lose each other. And so one person is asking for honesty. The other person doesn't want to tell you the truth because they think they'll lose you. So this is what
ends up happening in open relationships. That was the failure of mine, for sure. He knew that he could go out and fuck women, but was scared that if he told me I would get angry. Was scared that I was saying, go do it, and it was really like a test for him. So there was really no real trust in there, I realize now, and I didn't know that till the end. So I think the best way is to respect your partners, have them being truly honest
on what they can handle. For example, I think something I told him that was my most honest thing was like even if I ask you for all the details, don't give them.
That was something but that to me, That to me is that that's plain too. You can't ask somebody for something that you don't really want.
No, I would say, like be open with me, but I was like, I don't want to ever pick and pull. I know I can't handle it. So if I'm asking for all the details, let's just I don't really mean why would you ask for all the details? Wh wouldn't you? I don't know. I was just saying, like, maybe I'll have a vulnerable moment where I want more details, but if I do, I'm not being my true self.
But then you couldn't hold it against him if he actually gave you what you asked for.
That's why I said, I don't think I can handle this. So even if I'm doing that, this isn't what I mean. That's tricky. It is tricky.
Sit here and be like, but even if I ask you for something, don't give it to me, because I may in that moment may not mean that. That's that's tricky as fuck to give someone the space.
To kind of read your mind. I think that what started to happen through him telling me details was maybe I was forming a jealousy that I didn't know. Like knowing that he fucked someone last night doesn't bother me, but sometimes I would feel jealous once in a blue that's too often, and I would want to know more. But I don't know why. I guess I wanted to know that it wasn't as good as me, or maybe I wanted to hear something go wrong. It's this weird thing I was doing. So I was like, let's stick
to what we first said. We don't need to do details, no exchanging of names and all this bullshit of the night, like, let's just be honest and tell each other. If he's never asked me for details, but I was he could just listen to the podcast, but he never. I don't know. I don't think he wanted to. I don't think he was interested in it. As much as I look through a shit towards the end relationship, I know he didn't. The only thing he watched that I asked him to
was sex cells. Okay, but that's also because I don't talk about sex on there, right, And so for me knowing that a man that I'm seeing could watch me detailed relationships with other men, it's tough for sure. The live show is not really because I feel like I'm performing a little bit, even though it's real life. It's not like this.
It's so crazy because I was just told that recently. But my ex we had a conversation recently.
And has he ever come to a horrible decisions live show? Okay?
And he said it would be difficult sometimes with being with me because he didn't know if I was performing. And I was like, what do you mean And he's like, well, I know how you tell stories and the things that
you share on your show. So there would be sometimes we would be doing something and I didn't know if you were doing it just to have a story to tell, or just to be able to perform it later, or if it was something you even really wanted to do, or if you were doing it out of being this performative person.
And I was like wow, I was like, crude, nigga, I do what the fuck I want to do? When you think of all the things that you do with someone that I don't make the podcast.
We went to bars, the sex clubs, different people that I brought in, and to know that because he knows I share these things that he felt sometimes I was doing it to be performative and to have something to share later.
I was like, think, my relationship with you wasn't for research purpose? What would you do differently? Like do you think I've told you? And I've talked about this on the podcast. I actually asked for a consent with the with like new sexual experiences with old Bay, not so much because we were so we were together for a long time and I knew he was okay with it, But with new partners.
I haven't had any new partners, right, That's what I'm saying, what would you do different?
Would you?
He would still, I would like to know that someone accepts me for me. You either gonna make a story or not. I was just with a nigga from the past and I was telling him about the project we're working on and I'm like, don't worry you not any and I was like, oh, as a matter of fact, might add you in it, but.
I don't know where you But I said you ain't got you ain't in.
It, and he was like okay. But like he asked me about the project and I told him, I don't know. I feel like some guys want to be mentioned bad. I agree with and I don't really liked it, but I don't think.
I used to think me that he was sucking the shit out of me so I could talk about it. See, so you thought he was being performative. It was just so like he talked so much shit to me sometimes during sex. And I was like, now you want me to tell somebody. I mean, you did. He had a whole name on the podcast you did. But I don't think it was for that. I think we all kind
of do that to ourselves. I'm just surprised that your ex said that to you, because when you're with someone all the time, we have so many experiences that we don't talk about so many And that's what I was saying. I'd be like, you know, how much I didn't bring to the pie, Like what the fun? But whatever, That's what he thought. Also, the other thing that's interesting too, is like, if you give someone an alias, do you
really have to tell them? But the reason that I think I do is because, let's be real, if I kick it with a nigga a few times, people see me out. We're in New York, LA, You're in Atlanta. These are cities where fans are at, or if they're famous, their fans are at, They're gonna figure it out. I talked about a flea bargain, nigga meditating and bitches brown out.
I mean, but that I think that that depends because like I was just in Atlanta, and every night I was with a different nigga.
The people who came up to me that were fans maybe said every night I was with a different niggas. It was my homies. They were all my friends. They weren't anybody that.
I was having any sexual relations with. And the fans that saw me in Magic City, that saw me at night.
Is that's true. That's true. That's nobody has.
Thought that just because I'm with a guy, that this is someone I talked to. Now I've been well going to the nude beach with Soulmate. I met a nude beach with a person that is similar to who I've described. So in intimate settings, yes, but when I'm just out and I'm with a dude, I haven't had really fans assume that that particular person is anybody really, especially in Atlanta, which is where I run into the most fans the whore Hide.
Yeah, I know, Atlantanta.
Bro.
I was in an uber recently and a girl was like this, only in Atlanta do I get recognized that ubers like this? And it turned around She's like, oh my god. She's like I had be some old last week and she's like telling me how she listens to our podcast when she does longer drives. She was like, I always ask people if it's okay, and then she said, I don't know what you look like. Actually, Oh, I was like I just knew your voice. Oh I'm not gonna lie when I get in ubers in Atlanta.
I don't even talk on the phone because I know that I don't want none of my business out in the streets. I just been there listening to my airpots. I'll be trying to be quiet. I get spotted in Atlanta. When I opened my fucking mouth, I heard you.
I knew it was you.
I couldn't believe, but I was just happened right at Atlanta station. Damn God, they've heard me before they saw me.
Yeah. I mean, like, I guess we made running on our voices for a living. But I mean, I'm anyway. It all right. Let's get into our home mail. Oh, this one's a fuck.
By the way, guys, if you have a home mail, please please please send it over to Horrible Decisions at gmail dot com. And we will not say your motherfucking name. We gonna keep it anonymous. We never say names, and I don't know why I always say, don't say my name. We ain't gonna say your name. I think I only read it when it's like something like lonely and yeah, don't We're not gonna say your name. But sen in Yo, Uh send in your picture though, okay? So hi man, first and foremost, I love y'all.
No, seriously, I'm not sure how I found horrible decisions, but I found it during a breakup. And let's just say, you guys have put me onto a lot. Well, we're happy. I feel liberated and so much more comfortable with my sexuality. This email isn't about that. I'll keep it short. I promise. Well, you did it a year ago I met a sex dude. I mean, I do it on a sex site. Don't judge. I just got out of a ten year relationship and
sex site like OnlyFans. Maybe she means like a fed life. Okay, I got out of a ten year relationship, but my pussy was growling. We met up once. This sex was good, but I didn't think i'd hit him up again. My friends talked me into reaching out, and after the second session, I was hooked. He lives two and a half hours away from me in another state and would travel once,
sometimes twice a week to fuck. Before you ask Mandy, he has a good job, children and a place of his own, and he made time for my sexual needs. Here's where things got tricky, and here's where you didn't keep it short. Just when I thought things were staying platonic. I started to catch feelings. I started to notice he would go out of his way to do small things for me, and I started seeing him in a different light. I'll give a few examples. One I noticed when he
brought me a pear. Now hear me out, here's a backstory. One night he came over and I was eating a pear, and he told me it was his favorite fruit. I felt bad that I didn't offer are so simple? I was a pair like the and the next linkup, he brought a pair from his house for me. At first I thought it was weird. Then I thought, well, that was sweet. Whether you did that or not, I was jo the bear. That was sweet. Keep going, bitch as someone that likes simple things. Bitch, I'm judging this shit
out of you. Did you say, don't judge me? Oh well, too late, hope. The next link up, he brought a pair from his house, and at first I thought it was weird. It was so sweet. Whether you did that or not, I was still gonna fuck. And the second example, he goes out of his way to give really good massages.
Now we're talking, okay. He offered a massage after the last time we linked up caressed me and asked where my tender spots were to make me feel catered to, and the last one was after care he asked me to be his Valentine. We both got gifts and did a nice exchange, and he would definitely text me every now and then to nothing sex related. For the text. One day, I decided to ask him what he thought about getting to know one another. He gave me two responses.
His first was that he'd be open to it, and then he asked if I thought our sex was too intimate and that he wanted to keep it platonic. Ooh, all of that after the pair? Babe, who would have known? After that weird talk, I said, being friends his own sucks, but the dick was too good to give up. That's what it is.
The Dick's so good and there amazing thought the pair was a gift and it was just there.
Fast forward, I decided to inter just fucking, I should start talking and dating other people. I ended up meeting someone and told the original guy that we should take a break, and I started feeling the guy was dating and I don't like fucking more than one person at once because there's too many STDs. After I told him about the break, he understood and kept in touch. I
felt like we actually texted and bonded then even more before. Eventually, because he just wanted to be platanic girl, I eventually tried to have sex with him again. He was excited to have me back around, but before we were able to schedule our next session, he confessed to me that he has herpes too, which is genital herpes, and that he doesn't know when or where he got it, and
that I may have it. He said sorry and said he felt like an idiot for friend zoning me, and I was confused because we hadn't had sex in three months. Got myself checked out. After I got my results, I called him to figure out what happened. After talking with him, found out that he's been had this during the entire year. I was only fucking him and we fucked raw eighty percent of the time. I truly trusted him and we were fucking so often. I never questioned his loyalty the
entire conversation. I was in shock because I was talking to a completely different person than who he showed to me. Even cried on the phone and tried to give me these booboo stories about justifying his actions. After an hour, I blocked him. I missed him a lot, and I know there's no going back, but I have really bad trust issues. I've decided to take a few months off from dating you ladies, have any advice for starting to
date again, and just to give you a timeline. He confessed this to me in December, and I don't have general heart beees. Wow, I'm so tired.
Okay, So she broke up the word loyalty from the pause.
I mean, how did we get to her?
Well, she said she met him on a sex site and they hooked up the first time.
So to me, this question of how.
Do you date and the idea that you don't want to fuck multiple people at the same time because of STDs. Yet you were platonically fucking someone casually who didn't even live in your state that you didn't have any exclusivity with. Y'all barely spoke because after fucking a certain amount of times, then you said we should get to know each other. You started connecting yourself emotionally based off of just sex.
But the only thing he did wrong was the Valentine. Other than that, this is all her vault. I'm not gonna lie.
That's where I'm just like the idea that now, too, you're trying to figure out how to date safely or whatever the case may be, when this casual sex partner didn't start.
Off that way like you like you are just as.
Sustainable to catch STDs with just fucking one person who you're not exclusive with.
Then if you're fucking multiple people, I'm glad that you don't have it. But you're basically saying how to start dating again. I don't think you were dating in the first place.
You weren't dating. You were having casual sex, and then because he couldn't confusing, he didn't give you what you wanted beyond the casual sex. So then you took a pause from that to just go find somebody else. But then you also said you started to like I think that you involve yourself emotionally.
Although you're probably leading with.
The fact that I just got out of a ten year relationship, maybe you're leaning into that you don't really want something out the gate, maybe you don't know how to, and then you're doing something casual and then want something later.
I will say this, I'm not judging you for catching feelings. And now that I think about it, if the dick was that good, I might have brought up the pairs too, But that like you holding on to those little things, lets you know that you really that it was really good, Like, yeah, it was good, bitch, that's how he got the herbes.
Passing that good as dick around. I mean, I just think it's and at least he told you, I mean, right it is, said wait, oh sorry, she said he knew it for a year before, never mind that he been had it, he just decided to share. I can't believe he was fucking and didn't even communicate it. I don't know.
I feel like I feel like that's common in casual sex, if you're going into something not asking anybody about themselves about their their past, their sexual history. All she went in with it was I just got out of a ten year relationship, met this guy on a sex site. We hit it off the first night and kept fucking even though he lived in another state. There was really no action to getting more out of that relationship.
You're one hundred percent somebody that attaches after set me to I could tell from even reading that, like, you're someone that attached you start to grow the feelings based on the sex, and so I think for you, the most conducive way to get a relationship and start dating again is to not have sex or think about sex initially when you're going on these dates with these partners.
I agree, Maybe you have a fuck buddy and actually actively date so that you can focus on connecting with someone emotionally and not being so obsessed with when is it going to happen, bringing the sex in the middle of it, and then trying to learn each other. Kind of how we said earlier with the unpopular opinion, Wait, I agree, let it grow.
I agree also this what that shit was long that you I was surprised, though I had to lube up, but also I understood every word you didn't like.
That's not like you be reading fast as fun when you be getting a long ass home. And I was because she tricked me, she said, if she was gonna keep it short, I'm out of breath now. Well, y'all, thank y'all for tuning in.
We do have a special special announcement coming better better vetter very soon if you haven't gotten yet. But also we're gonna leave you guys with a five minute bonus clip from our patreon, y'all, make sure you support it's patreon dot com backslide Horrible Decisions where we drop a bonus episode every week or bts from when we record at our studios, and a.
Lot of things coming.
Oh and once a month town hall for the top tier patrons, you get to join us in recording an episode live on zoom. We have our drinks out and all that cute stuff. So go to patreon dot com back slash Horrible Decisions. All right, y'all, and this has been yet another episode of Horrible Decisions. Bye, It's bonus become for a brand fresh patrenon.
We're probably gonna drop it today. Episode. We are dropping it today episode.
I guess we'll start off with a quick little ketchup because y'all, we don't really get to talk current events, but we about to talk current events today. Okay, but I guess the ketchup? Do you wanna do you wanna start withy with what's been young? I got some brand new big news talk yo. I well, I'm almost a homeowner.
I had been looking to buy something for like the last two or three years. And the way that I became a homeowner almost because I'm in escrow. Is crazy because so I went to where I was going to go to Vegas to see Usher for my birthday with the guy that I've been dating, and then something happened with one of the dates he had a script to finish son. I was gonna go to Cabo with Nina by myself, and I was like, you know what, I could go on vacation whenever I want with this damn dog.
Let me spend my special day with my parents. So I flew to Orlando and I didn't want to stay with my mom, so I got an airbnb downtown This is how this happened, wow, and three hundred dollars a night to stay at downtown Orlando. And I was like, damn, this is trash, Like why am I spending so much?
Like?
And I couldn't believe that they were charging that much for what they did for what the apartment was. So I was like, don't we just look on Zillo. I found a one bedroom for one nine right, and I was like, damn, this is cheap, mind you one ninety nine right, that's very the down payment for the houses that I've been looking at around La and New York that I would need twenty percent down, so I'm like, let me see it tomorrow. Woke up eight am on
my birthday, worked out with Enoch, saw my dad. We were we had breakfast together, then had a spat day with Jewel, then ate with my parents for lunch, and then around four pm I went to see this apartment, one bedroom right one nine nine. I was like, eh, and then she shows me a two for another forty, which per mortgage, that's nothing, right, bro, When I tell
you I looked in it, Mandy. It took me maybe thirty seconds, and I was like, I think the girl even looked at me like, but do you even I was like, all right, I think I'm gonna take it, and she was like, oh, you want to see the gym in the pool? I'm like no, Like how many parking spaces do I get? Like, I think I'm gonna take this. And my mom and Enoch were with me and they're looking at me like this is moving too quick.
But literally, in my brain I have I don't know, some of you guys will remember when I had a sugar daddy, and I'll just be very transparent with numbers because I feel like for the sake of telling this story, it's important. He gave me ten thousand dollars to invest and told me if I grew it, he would give me another ten. So at that point in time in two thousand and seventeen, that account had about twenty five K. Today that account has seventy. It just keeps vesting and
I forget about it a lot. It's on it's an e trade account. That's how he was doing stocks today. I use Robin Hood with Ian Dunlap, right, So it's just sitting there and sitting there and you can take money out of if anyone's listening. Like when I left T Mobile, I have an account that has like maybe twenty in there, and it's an IRA and you can take money out of there without penalty if you have
a death, an emergency, or you're purchasing a home. So now together with these accounts, it's almost one hundred that I don't look at, right, And I'm like, I'll just use that when I'm buying a crib, right, So literally I'm gonna buy this house forgetting, you know what I mean with money that I just was letting sent there. So I told her, I want to like try to offer as low as I can. I looked up some
of the ways that the apartment works. So in New York, the largest issue with me purchasing a property is you have to live there for one to two years before you can sublet, and a lot of the other rules with New York is that you can only sublet for a certain amount of time. So what if I end up having a kid? What if I fall in love in La? Like, what am I going to do? This apartment is downtown Orlando. I'm not gonna obviously say what building it is. Maybe I will because I'll need you
all niggas AIRBNBA. So here's what my plan is. This is where niggas can get up the apartment half owned by owners, half owned by the building. If an owner wants to rent it immediately after they buy it, they can. You can either rent it on your own, collect rent on your own, or give the building five percent of your earnings and they'll give you maintenance, they'll collect the rent, they'll run the credit check. And I was like that's lick, Like, bro, I might want to get another one in this bitch
if it works out. So she's like, yeah, we'll take care of everything. If they don't pay, we'll kick them out. It's we take five percent of the rent. My mortgage is going to be like eighteen and the average for two bedrooms in there's twenty two to fifty. So how I'm gonna start. I'm an Airbnb to shit. And today Timmy's that I saw the fines. I looked it up. The fines are three hundred dollars every time you get caught up to five times, and I was like, oh,
it's a dub bitch. My apartment that I'm getting has a side entrance, so they'll never see the Airbnb people, and I don't know we're gonna see. I found a management company. They take they take ten percent of your Airbnb earnings to give you the maid. So here here's the thing. You gotta be worried. Give me the tips when building. When buildings, especially if anyone's listening with Airbnb.
So when buildings have strict regulations on whether you can or cannot Airbnb, they literally pay either a third party or they're look for to look to look for the postings and they're able to tell so unfortunately a lot of times because
They know that's how I got caught when I was Airbnb and the Sugar Addy