EP 311: Crocodile Dung & Angry Bees

I know she had a crush on that nigga too, and he's not a nigga, But I ain't know she had a crush on that BWC. Even did you tell me a few weeks ago a white niggas boy. That's why I corrected myself. White niggas is real. People be white, Okay, okay, okay, it's it's uh, you know, I don't see. He was really fun and you know what it reminded me of. It's like, I'm glad that you enjoyed him. But I did think to myself, like I do want people that are older on I like that fifty is like for

me cinnamon love and him. It's just I like learning from someone older because normally it's like sharing stories and discovery and like not like Liz Goldwin is old old because she's not, but still she's more like she's experienced, like old hoe I want a bitch who's still fifty in the strip club. I want you to roll in here because you know what I'm saying, your hip gave out, Like that's what I want. My mom is the oldest. How we've had seventy one. We definitely should have more

old holes on here. If you or your grandmother would like to come on horrible decisions. If you, I don't know, you're on aarp, maybe we'll even do a little nursing home drop in. Let me know, well, hoeing is genetic. We know that. So just so you know, if you're a host, so is your mother, So is your grandmother, so was her mother. Um, it's all there, not geneticreditary. M you know, there we go. I guess we'll start with a brief catch up. Oh you only cry right now? Okay, well,

don't don't do that. I did buy a vibrator, which is funny because I was out with Brianda, who for those you remember, Bible girl who doesn't masturbate. And I was just telling her like Bree, like, so I've been so busy with work. I ran into her in the street. She called me, ignored the call because I was in a meeting. Left the meeting and she's like, look at the lord. So I had tea with her real quick, and I was like breaking down, like Briena, I just feel so busy. I feel like I can't be a

good daughter. I feel like I can't date like the guy that I'm dating and I are looking for two or three days in March that match, Like it's really difficult and it's crazy because you know, you really vibe with someone when you're really looking for that time. And the long story short, I was just like, oh my god, I just like I don't know what's going on. I can't have sex. So I'm so busy and blah blah blah. She's like, you might need to get a toy, mama. So we walked into a sex story. I don't have

just a lot of toys to play with. I give away although the ship there we get me too. It'd be their gifts like here you go, bitch. They'd be like, I know this was free. Okay, I know niggas that got Nike deals, they still give me ship. That's a gift. I was about to be The value was one hundred and twelve dollars take a bit. So I walked in

about a vibrator. And it was really funny because while in the store the guy, there was a guy in there that looked at me, and I wondered if he realized, like the horrible decisions he just had to look like he was young. But long story short, you know they've got the Womanizer, They've got this one, the rabbit, this that. I was like, what's ten dollars because I'm barely I'll tell you why. I don't use any kind of sex toys,

so my shit's so sensitive. Okay, bitch. I had that shit on the one at a ten speed and I came, I give a h It's really bad. It's so crazy because you are trying to find time for someone you're interested in, and I on the other side, m and I feel crazy. I feel like I'm reverting only to just for it to be comfortable. But I have zero time to go on dating apps to find someone I'm interested in. It's crazy because Taomi tweeted something the other day and she was like, all the single women, what's

the worst part about being single? And I said, it has everything to do with the dating and talking days. To me, it's my god, I love when you jump into boyfriend. Yeah, like just being my boyfriend. That's the only risk reason I miss old Bay, not him to schedule. Oh, I'm not gonna lie. That was That's my thing about soulmate. I'm like, nigga, you just come back and we just do the things on our free time so I can

have fun. Like I was talking to my therapist today and I said, um, I'm going to Atlanta this weekend, and I was supposed to go for something else. I do got a nigga there too. I was also supposed to see Now I don't even want to see him. But it's like, I'm just going to have a break because I realized that if I stay in New York,

I'm just gonna work myself to death. But also I'm not talking to anybody right now, and it's been really difficult with this note well, not to get to know somebody like that idea of the talking phase and planning dates, like I'm in the middle or ending a run of touring. We're about to go on a fucking long ass tour. So I'm just like, not, you gave him a hint. This They know they we were saying it, saying this

maybe the anyway, what the last wee. It's really frustrating because I'm like, I realized now why I had my first boyfriend when the pandemic was here. You know this because we had time to talk. A few weeks ago. We had a conversation that I actually brought up at this women's dinner just because like for the sake of they were kind of boring. Sorry it was sponsored, but they were boring. But the conversation got hot. So basically this girl was saying how she's pouring into doing things

outside to meet someone and blah blah blah. She was in her forties, and then another girl was saying she's just going on with her homegirls and homing. I said, you know, I said, in most of them new horrible. I said, Mandy and I have a conversation coming up where we both it was a trumpet conversation where you were like, I'm spending time with my friends, and he was saying, oh, yeah, that's like poly arms and I'm like, well,

I want to invest in a love relationship. And I was like, so, if we're asking for these things, what do you guys think it's a priority. Because nobody's really wrong actually right, and it's crazy down the middle. The women that I realized talked about prioritizing friendships, this to me was hella interesting. Almost every woman that talked about prioritizing your friendship had been broken up with, had someone disappointed them, and had recently been like fuck these niggas.

I realized that friendships is what I need to be growing and cultivating. The ones that we're looking for love were tired of how much time they spend with their friends that were like I need a break from these bitches.

And I'm like oh, and that kind of counteracts with being busy because for me, like being able to go to Thailand with Vinnie and Enoch, like that was such like a pleasure for me, Like we had it was really our ten year mark of being friends, Like I didn't think i'd have that time, you know what I'm saying, So like to be able to do that with friends that I see once a year sometimes together was great and that's what I was able to do. But I

was like, damn, it is true. When you're busy, you're like, you got a really pencil in your friends and your people. So if you don't have someone you're dating, how do

you do it? And a woman said to me, because I said I was prioritizing love, She's like, you're probably gonna find it, and you're probably gonna have all the things you want, like a husband, a baby or whatever, and then right when you need help with that baby and motherhood and an outlet, you probably won't have it if you weren't building it right before you got that man. I think I think for me, it's a my friends are gonna be here before you, my friend's gonna be

here after you. I don't think i'd believe in the forever. My friends have also been who I can rely on. I also just had just again conversation and therapy to me, like what I want from a man I can do without or I can get very easily. I think Dick

is like the easiest thing to get. It just is like all these niggas just been waiting for me to break up with this man, and now they're all like, hey, I'm here, You're still in New York, and still they're all just still there, right, And so to me it's they really do be right, bro, They're all just right there a day in the roll of dicks. That's what you do. Go back to the roll of dicks. They all gonna be there. And I'm just having now a hard time seeing if I have any time to get

to know somebody else. And I think again, that's why I was able to experience my first real relationship was because that's I had all the time in the world to get to know somebody. Bitch. We were hiking. To be honest, I think that the common theme sometimes is most people that find love aren't looking. Oh, I was about to say that, and that's the thing. So the prioritizing of love, or the prioritizing of meeting a partner.

When I met soulmate, bitch, I wasn't looking. And it sounds really bullshitty, but that's how you how that flea market day happened because I will reiterated, my nigga, it was so crazy. I had sex with another nigga the day I met him, and that nigga said to me, I made a joke every time I fucked, I ended up meeting somebody because my chakras be open. He was like, yeah, you're probably gonna meet your husband tomorrow. He said, uh, congratulations,

good luck, and you're welcome. He joked about it with me, and I was like, what am I gonna do. I'm gonna I'm gonna walk to the Melrose's trading post and just like enjoy my life and method NICs. And I remember consciously thinking every time I met someone that I was into, I just stumbled because I was doing something for myself. It's like a common thing. Oh yeah, Now, don't get me wrong, I'll be on dating that nigga too. When I tell you, I tell you, Brod, I said,

I can't believe it. Happy, but y'all will say this. Tell of y'all bitches. And this is just a little bit of advice for Women's History Month. I have a lot of homegirls, much like you probably do. All the boss bitch girls I know being better early. They be focused on this ship. You do have to get out and mingle. You have to get out of your let that be with friends. If you don't do it. It's either gonna be on an app, but if you don't kind of get yourself out there, it's not gonna come

to you in the house. It was so funny because when I went to the reads to the anniversary show, I said, y'all couldn't have had this at four pm, so we could have been in bed by eight. Like that's also still it's also the common thread, like we love a brunch, now we love a happy hour. If you got me rolling up out of bed to be somewhere to eleven, like I gotta get ready at ten to be there by like eleven thirty, I ain't gonna

make it. I just haven't. I ain't gonna have a friend of mine staying at my place in New York from London for a few weeks and he said to me, yo, like I have to tell you something, no offense. I just thought you were gonna be a party girl. He's like, I just pictured you that way. Wait, are you not anymore well? Bro? He was just saying, like I didn't expect his regiment. He's like, you get up and go to the gym here on zoom cnadad. And he's been at my house for maybe a few weeks and Brian,

mind you, I barely him in New York. But I one night where I came strolling in at six in the morning and I was fucked up and I went out on night and it was one. It was one that I gave myself. But like, I party hard. It's just that I don't really I think people do think that of me because of my crazy stories. It do be from that one night. Remember that last time I was in London, I met the trainer Nigga that almost robbed me when he will come to my hotel, like

it does happen for me. But like, yeah, I think people just kind of expect, because of either what I do or whatever, that I'm wilding the fuck out when i'm out. Oh, bitch, I'm out slowed down. I don't think I slowed down. Shot. I think I've always been this way, bro, And I think that's why you joked about the drinking thing with me. I go out all the time, and you'd be like, oh, you can't handle it. Look at like that you would. You've been saying that

for years. It's just that, like, I just go hard when i'm there, bitch. If I'm set out on the night. Oh that's it. Well, I'll be honest with you in honor of Women's month, fuck mother nature because the way I was just hoping with the short month in February, that my period was gonna be off just a little bit so I could be a hope for Dreamville. Because bitch'all saw that lineup. It wasn't really nobody. I give the coach too, but I'm like, Nigga's gonna be there.

It was. That was a very good ready to meet somebody at Dreamville. Bitch period all time for me to be right there on my period there. I was on it last year, but it was cool because I got a nigga, So I wasn't really looking at fuck on nobody last year. This year, puss is open. It's damn that's right. You had a whole Dreamville nigga there and I'm just friends asked me if I was going. I was like, I was ready to throw this couch all weekend,

and now I cannot. Can I be real? I want to go back, but I don't want to go back to rally. Oh I'm not gonna lie. Already got my hotel, Love Raleigh. Everyone has after parties but those are fun. You went to work, that's this is why. But I didn't have a good time. So we have our very last live show on the thirty first. I don't already let niggas know New York can't get no after party out of me. I got my flights. Are you doing after parties? And every city we did in LA we're

doing what we're live. I won't be at the one in New York, you know why, because I have a seven am flight to Raleigh. Well then I have to good for you and Bridget, because I'll tell you right now. Bitch, how many cities you think we funna get out of me? I don't know if I can do it. Bitch, what the after parties? I was so tired in London? That was jet lack hold on, Yeah, we was on the way in London if I did bro I'm sorry. I

thought about that hotel after experience I went. I went out after Anyways, why don't you throw the sex parties? That's because it's meat. We're already throwing live shows. The production of throwing events. I've done the dinner, I've done a sex party. It's a lot of fucking work. It's a lot of fucking heart. Just listen, put your name on the flyer and show it chitty, and they got them. When he's getting I'm good. Well let's get into ar vanilla ship for the week. Y'all starts with Florida Woman.

So you know it's gonna be some shit. So a Florida woman demands sugar Mommy Daddy Day from city planners. That's right. A Florida woman has hit headlines after calling for a sugar daddy and mommy appreciation day in Boca God, I saw that. Do you have a little bit of clip for her talking hello? I don't know we could play it. She was awful, Well, why did we have it better? She was so awful that when he got

up there, he said, you got five minutes. Bro. The blonde bombshell, who identified herself as Ashley Cream, took to the microphone at a Book of re Time Planning and Zoning Board meeting and proposed that March ten should become a designated day to celebrate the area's benefactors. Sugar daddies both gay and straight, and yes, even sugar mommies are responsible for college educations, cars, homes, rents, jets, and the

occasional body enhancement. She argued that sugar daddies and mommies are vital to the Florida economy and that Boca Ratan is a particular hot spot for the generous geriatrics. It appeared that Cream may have her own sugar daddy, as she was accompanied as she was accompanied to the meeting by an elderly man, whom she was later seen pushing around in a wheelchair. Oh my god, I just saw her papa, and I saw old man in the back. Girl.

I ain't gonna hold you, Mommy, I accold you. We got mohamma, and I used to watch in and the coal bro. We all loved in and a coal growing up. I did we did? I think that for us being supporters of sex work, we have all of these were holidays now on the calendars right anyway? Like y'all know, Poda? What do you say? Pa? Pi? Poda? What are you saying? Pie? Pie? Like three? Are you hearing something different as well? Are you not hearing pot? Did you tell me when you

heard it? What did you did you hear? Food? Jay? You didn't hear anything like three point one? Phota you did? I'm not say pot did you say polo as well? Oh? Bit pie? If I'm not saying it right, it's only three letters, bitch, how could I say it wrong? This is giving me what? Yeah? How you still not know? Hi? P? I E like he but it's not the food. It's he I actually, but how do you should you tell me? You say pie and pie different? Did I say I said pie? I ain't even got my goals? And bitch,

y'all y'all can't understand me. I don't want to be clear. I'm not trying to call you a hearty yards fund. You're doing it yourself. That's what the pie? God? Damn sh okay, look the like we had a civil rights there could have fu No PI day is like three point one four, like the circumference, like the mad ship. Hold on? What is we are from the same place, y'all? I just want to say, maybe I'll had a my fair lady moment. Mandy didn't and she was eating I

knew it was on March fourteen. So pie is the symbol used in mathematics to represent a constant, and it's like a little squiggly or something like that. But anyways, they got a day. Um, we know Mother's Day, Father's Day even still exists. But there's a whole bunch of yeer days because niggas they really did. They could have made a Sugar Daddy Day like the next day after. Oh no, no, no, I think I'll just day in Daddy Jim Nona Lie. I would prefer a side nigga day,

like a Zaddy Day, like February fifteen. That's already, that is it? Yeah? Let me tell you, Oh my god, bit one of my homegirls is fucking. I think I have mentioned it on the show. She's sucking like someone that she can't be in public with. Hold on, National Zaddi Day is actually October fourth. They just make a shit up, bro, But Zaddy might be like hot guy may not be like Sugar Daddy. Oh I'm about to see. So Zaddi Day celebrated on the fourth of October, um

is to celebrate this ship came from? What national day? Is it? Now? That's what it came from? Bullshit? Oh, so the Zaddy Day is actually boyfriend Day by girl. Okay,

let me tell you this team. So I just caught up with her at that women's dinner because we were both invited and again she's fucking with a nigga that's like crazy famous, and so he's married and they all so I was like, she this diamond pennis bracelet and necklace and I was like, god, bamn, bitch, I think got you that, and she goes, oh, let me let me shake my performance. This was crying. She goes, I started it up on the tenth. She was like, I knew what I wanted, and I knew I had to

put the pressure on his ass. Wait, the tenth is in February, yes, four days before Valentine. She was like, because I feel like if I start too early, then he's not gonna feel in fear of fucking up his day with his wife. So she said on the tenth she was like, lead it, and she said she started like slowly and slowly and slowly, and then she said

she sent to him, will you be my Valentine? And then after I put sorry, I'm trying to unsend the message this I don't cry, so I guess after a while, he finally was just like, well, what what what can I do to make you feel better? And she was like, I don't know, but I want you to do what you think would be extravagant enough for me to forget. I want to be able to have something tangible to keep in mind that she still care about me. So she was like, I thought he was gonna give me

a car. Man, you want to tell you the diamonds? Like, she can't walk down the street with you diamonds. I was like, and they probably cost as much as a car. They do, Like, because I told you, I've still been looking from our Cuban link in bitch, they still thirty thousand, all these niggas, So mind you. She was like, Oh, I know people are gonna be reposting you and your wife on Valenthine's Day. I can't handle it. It's a couple's goal. Lie, it's giving me no faith in what

we have, Bitch, what is the faith in what they have? Like? She's lying, she's lying to herself, she's lying to him. She's tricking him, like like tricking on it. Like what else could she be? What else could she really want? She did it on the tenth on purpose, knowing she wanted gifts like he loves her pussy, But does she does she want more from him? No? Oh, I mean I'll be real with you, don't I don't think so.

But she can't be that good of an actress, because when I met him and saw them, I was kind of like, oh, like he was holding her hand, calling her baby, saying I love you. Niggas. Don't get me wrong, they did take They took everybody else's phone at the spot for the dinner, and I kind of was just looking around like no one else sees nobody else sees it, and we just all pretended. But you know, she basically was. She was like getting his plate ready and doing different

things for him. I'm not gonna lie, I do think, and this is why, like, if you're with the right person, I think that a lot of times the wives be knowing depending on how lit your nigga is and how rich, because who can you be with after how long caps are you you gonna stay around? And you just kind

of know what it is like. Luckily, I think due to this show, UH, men are becoming more honest with how they truly can show up in relationships, who they can be, the fact that they probably ain't really monogamous. I mean, I think that we've talked about that being an issue, but more and more I'm hearing that men are like listening, bit, you not gonna be the old

than one. I told y'all, just be the favorite. There may be a shift I think that I'll start to happen, Like right now we're in crazy Polly open relationship mode, and I think we'll see the effects of this five to ten years from now. Then I think there's gonna be a major shift where like kind of like how when Obama became president. I'm saying, like, when Obama became president, it felt like it's a new day, and then boom, now we got hella Republican abortions being taken away, fucking

no drag Queen shows going crazy. Like I really feel like we're so oversaturated with the openness and shit that we're going to revert back. Like I'm hoping that we can um talk to someone. I'm sure they told you about their open relationship on our show. I don't say their name, Oh and I think I got that, okay, But anyway, basically they're dating someone and he's feeling super unfulfilled in this poly relation. Oh yeah, and it's just like god damn, like, how many more people do you

need to where you don't feel valued? You know what I mean? Like I flat out told a nigga recently, like who'd you go to dinner it? Like I'm telling you right now, like I'm at a time for it, Like I don't I don't know how many hours you got in a day, Like that's not gonna work for me. I feel like I have to say it verbatim no matter how crazy it sounds. Whether you're my nigga or not, you know what I'm saying. If you're my man, obviously,

if I don't want this, I'm gonna tell you. But if we're like working towards something and you're finding time for other shit, no, don't make me get back on apps because I'll be gone. I mean it's tough because if you have if he's working around your schedule, he's working around your friendships, he's working around you traveling and

your family. To me, if I expect someone to work around that and I'm busy and can't give them the time that they want when they're free, if they want to fill their free time up another way, Oh, if you got five hours to go to dinner with the beach, you think he has five hours to fly to you? Like, yeah, I'm bey I did want to get into us sharing a hordrve before we get into the horrible decision um in terms of a sex tip. Um, I this is for the men because it recently happened and it's okay.

I want to let men know it's okay to scream. So my god, okay to scream. I don't know because the man just knew he was gonna scream. So the little boo I'm seeing now, I had him moaning, like moaning with his big ass like huh, like real nice moans, sexy moans like uh uh. And I was like, all right, no, it was sexy bitch, big ass nigga moaning like oh. And I think he was moaning so much it made him uncomfortable where you would but so where I wasn't his what bitch? I was eating the fuck out that ass,

and so I was like, who do you say? What you're doing? And dirty talk? Um. So when I was sucking his dick, because we talk about it before I get to him, so clearly it's gonna happen, right, I love to talk to him. It was after the club and so I'm like, look, look, look, look, look on the dick. And so I'm looking at him. We decide to record it. So we're recording it. We're having all this fun, and so I'm looking up at him. So I come up from the top of the dick and

I'm like, you want me to go lower? And he said yes, like yes, So I went down to the balls and all the time at the balls, yes, eating eating it like a pack. No, I was looking that was it's the balls. So I'm so I'm licking the balls and then I come slightly up from the balls. Look up. You want me to go lower? Bitch? Not him saying no, but shaking yes. I said, I got you, so bitch. No, I said I got you, like I'm

gonna give you a ride to the airport. Feel like he ain't want to say yes, but his he went like this because he was too Maybe he ain't want whoever who's about the show to let him know that. He said, yes, you ate ans on camera, hmm, but you clever really see me. You don't set them something my head, So it could really just be any blonde bitch, which, by the way, y'all stop sending me every video of a thick blonde bitch. How do you think I feel with legs get braids. Bro it ain't me. So anyways,

he says. So he says yes, but he doesn't say yes. He says no, but shakes his head yes. And I was like, I know what you want. He was like, and then went real fast. So I say, okay, scooted him down from the cash a little bit, lifted them legs and got to work and baby the moaning. So anyways, we don't go to a round two, which then I have to custom out for. I said, suck fulfilling me. It's gonna take more than one round. If you can't go that many rounds, we're probably not gonna see each

other much longer. Sir. He's also much younger than me, so I had to just be really like, what's call him survoy No, I just said, sir, like, listen here, young man, young man, you can't keep it going. I'm gonna get to going. I do appreciate that a young dude, and I think this would actually help men later in life. I don't know how young he is, but under twenty five young under twenty five, So like experiencing that eighteen young, he's gonna know what he wants later in sexual experiences

like being able. Oh great, So I'm his teacher, Like, what do you think you are? Business? I mean cool? Yes, Well then I need more gifts. I need more shit in the roll of dicks from you of what is this dude? This is the dude I'm about to see in a couple of eggs. Yeah wait, we're just the one that Yeah, and you had to go shopping because you didn't have so, like, is that the first time? No, like I've seen him. I've been seeing for like the last year now in between my break between in between, um,

but no, so like I've seen him. Yeah, Like this will be three times in a month. So like I'm seeing you and he's like, you know, be patient, be patient for how long? Nigga? Someone had to go get some of the dec if you're not gonna get up twice so but literally he said, he was like he's

that young. Yeah, he's young. So he literally was like so he was like, uh, he was like okay, I like you're gonna have me screaming if we go again because of how loud he was already moaning where y'all was working at in the hotel, bitch and it was a sweet So niggahad I loved sweet was really big. Remember when London hotel guy got me there listen it was I was like, damn, this ship has a conference table. It was so big. Bitch. When we went to clean up, he had a bad room. I had a mask him.

That's the bad bitch. Come on, two bad rooms, um, And so he was just like, no, I know I'm to be screaming and no. And I was like, I would like you too. So fellas if you are with a bitch that just pleases you so much that you mont real out and you're like, oh, I can't sound like a bitch. Sound like a bitch. Pleep. I'm here for you sounding like my bitch. Anyway, Wait, you know why I asked you if you talked about the ass thing. So there's a Sex of the City episode I haven't

quoted in a while, so y'all be patient. Mirandam is fucking with this dude who keeps scooping his ass up because he wants her to look it. And finally he's like asking her for dirty talk. Tell me what I like. She's like, oh, yeah, you like it when I stroke your cock? Yeah? And he's like when I spit on it? Oh, yeah, and you love it when I put a finger in your ass and she was like, yeah, yeah, don't tell.

So there's no talking. That's why I was really like, we can kinky talk, but in person, I know I have to eat cementum as nasty as he's being because he's let me know, no one else has done that before. Did you tell me you're gonna talk about it a horrible um. No, he's not gonna get a name or anything. Like I said, I don't know how long it lasts. It could be anybody. I eat ass, multiple asses. What should be calling him the young boy? We could throw a young boy. He could be called young boy enough.

He is bitch to the point where I'm like, just so you know, if we out in public like that was the fun part about even being Wham. I was like, Okay, so we outside, we're just gonna fuck each other from across the room and no one in the room is gonna know I'm leaving home with you. And so that's what we played because I'm like, now it's to the point where he's too lit. I'm too lit, and a lot of girls are fans of the show, and I don't want the fans seeing me out with who I'm

really like entertaining a fucking fuck. No, no, just so you know, Doc, do you know how people nobody that I do I follow? Y'all know I blocked them niggas you can't. I follow the nigga I will follow. But to be honest with you, that Mandy on some real shit. I sometimes think when I'm out and about, like, of course people come up to me, but I don't even realize how heightened it is until I'm bitch. I probably go out anywhere with rent people are like actually rude. No,

but that one bitch. I think we were eating with friends at Katana and this girl was like, I want to sey'all fun, but I'm eating food. Yeah. No, y'all need to do that to me. So literally, I told you you can't hang out with people and you I thought we were just about the fuck he said, Yo, me be it's the club, the club, hold on London hotel. Guy, This is some terrible shit. This is how I know I still got a hole in me, and it makes me feel proud. Remember when I told you, I think

I said it on Patreon. How he was like, I just want to come and give you money like an old nigga, like, I feel like that's what that was, That's what would make you answer my call because you're a little you try to be a boss bitch on me. So he called me. I adn't answer. Then he called me again. He was like, I ain't gonna call you back back again and I was like, my bad. I was busy. He's like, I know you can't wait to tell me about how you a businesswoman. I don't give it. No,

they don't And I said they don't. I said, I know you know this. They could be asking for nudes. I'd be like, I'm at the studio, damn you always working. Yeah, it is good. I So he said to me, like, um, okay, so wish it's the love like quality time. I was like, no, it's gifts and he was like okay, so we need to start picking out what I'm gonna get, what you gonna get. And I was like yes, And I don't

know how it works, bitch, I gonna lie. I like it because he asked for real little shit because he really like what like he'll tell no. Like the other day he was like, you know, it's so crazy, like you're still talking to that they're gonna get you busy, and I was like yeah, and he was like, well, ain't a man yet, get on FaceTime with me. So we get on FaceTime. I was like I got like five minutes and he was like, that's enough for me to see your pussy. He was like, what you want.

I was like, oh, that's the exchange. I just like him your pussy. He just wants to tell me what to do. So he asked me on FaceTime. He was like you look cute. I was like thanks, and he said, is anyone home and I was like no. He's like okay, cool. He's like, tell me what you want. What's something you had your eye on. I was like, actually, I do want a new Rolex. He was like, you aven too

high for FaceTime. Pick pick something else. I was like okay, well I do want a new product bag and he was like okay, and he was like take your clothes off and he was like you need to make these next four minutes and thirty second birthday because it was like one twenty five out of one thirty call was so I had to put the phone up, bend over, show my plus. Yet his spanked my own ass. He told me to send it to leak. Wow, I loved it. I need to get someone like that. I'll tell y'all.

Maybe it's fine, y'all, maybe next week. How I was humbled and it didn't feel very good. I was saving the tea. Can I save some stories for another episode? Man, Let's get it to the horrible decision again? The why are we here? The hor derve was some motherfucking scream nigga, screw this outline sucked us up. We almost had a tea and then oh, I want gonna give you the tea. I'll tell you all. Y'all know, we record two episodes and day I'm talking you to see what our next

yest week, I'm gonna be like, welcome back. What happened? He deserves to the ana tell you bitch, I'm so ashamed, so shaped All right, y'all. The horrible decision is women sex facts in history? Um So. I wanted to get in with some inventions and some of the sluttiest women in history, kudos to them. Um. I wanted to start up with some facts that you can that are either legends, they're facts slash legends. They have not yet been super confirmed.

But we're gonna start off with the first one. Like legends, like of the Hidden Temple, it literal myth. First off, you saying the Hidden Temple is funny because we're taking it to Egypt. Baby. Oh so the first oh, the facts and the temple, you get it, where they put the mummies and ship? It's anyway, fun story after booty hole Cleopatra, you really care for this. Cleopatra was an innovator of the vibrator and was said to pleasure herself with the vibrations created from a box full of angry being.

Oh is that not crazy? It gets wet, sounds like a it gets worse. We are still in Egypt. But I'm not saying that fable. What's the word. I don't like the word legend, legend tells of the Hidden Temple? Which one wasn't on Nickelodeon, one of them. It's a fairy tale. Okay, No, that was a game talking about a game. Oh, keep going, I My head's broken. The next Egyptian fact and let me know if you know

of any others. Ancient Egyptian women avoided pregnancy by shoving crocodile doodo into the vagina to act as a diaphragm. I'm gonna be honest with you. I believe that you believe this one, and I'm gonna tell you why, because you'll do anything to not get pregnant, bitch I do. I was in high school and my homegirls told me to drink some shit. It could have been bleach, and I did it. I don't know what it was. Now Here were some other contraceptive pessteries used back in the day.

It includes the words pesseteries, pesseries, pess aries, one of them just keeping pestytian it's happening quotation marks, so maybe it's a fake word. I don't know what. The other things that were used for contraceptive include tresta, lemon halves which I can see that I do that, cotton wool, see sponges and also see sponges, and elephant doodo. They call it dung, but doodoo sound way better because that's what doodoo brown doodo brown. No, okay, I'm sorry you

guys who said dung. Have you ever called one of your turds dung? No, but they do say dumb when they're talking about like animals, like big animals. Oh, animals don't say, dodo a ship, it's not animals? Shit? Wow? Do you know what's so wild? Ship is such a common word. I forget it's a curse word. And I was around a friend's kid. I was like, what have you shit? And I to take it back and it's I'm telling you. She just held her diaper at me. I was like, h he was like, what have you you?

She has the baby? They shit And I think she went like so she know what? Shit me? Yeah? But I felt so shouldn't be a cuss word. It's literally shit. No, it has to be. If you had to pick one that was like in the dictionary for with children, I think damn might be one. No, Damn is like hell you damned to the devil, like it's to me, nah to me? Ship show, you know what I mean. That's my favorite way. That's what I'm saying. Actually, bit do

you know that's how people know that I am. Like when La, people know I don't say PA when I'm in LA. People assume I'm from New York because I'll talk about it, right, I'll be like oh when I'm whatever. But when I say uh she or I say bitch, I know you like they'd be like, oh, where are you from? Negress? Um, I wanted to get into an invention that I found to be very interesting. Um so at le Battles, a research center in Los Angeles where

you are at. It's ran by a sex researcher, Nicole Prouse, who does have her PhD. She she created a brain zapp for a better sex life through a method called direct current stimulation. The brain stem headset delivers electrical currents to your brain with the aim of boosting or curving your sex drive, depending on whether you feel it's too low or too high, by restoring your brain's reward center

to healthy activation levels for around an hour. Right now, you have to go into the lab to get it, But she's hoping that she can make it commercially available in the future. Now it's not we've talked about like your sex drive changing with medication, just with work. I think we talk about a lot of people having different sex drives from their partners. Even I think this is this is something good. I think it's dope. It's science

and shit. Once I started talking, I can't you know what you don't feel like like, I don't know my sex shribe right now because it's not. It's so crazy. I'm with the young boy, and then twenty four seven he popped up from time to time and I realize I'm like, it's good, but bitch, I need the affection. I need to lay up show with them. I want to lay up and spend the time that I'm not getting right now. And so that's why I'm like, yeah, we're gonna be in the same city, nigga, but I'm

man might not. One of the episodes I want to do, but I can't figure out how to make it. A business is in sex cells. I've been wanting to cover brothels, which they're gonna let me do. That's a business, right, But that's been making me think about girlfriend and boyfriend experience and maybe I can't really talk about money about this. Maybe it'd be something to discover on Horrible, but like, no, no, no, because it actually like I have to get into like

business LLCs, things like she gets two dozen roses. Bitch, I can't talk about sex. It's no, no, no. I want to talk about men and women and why we need it right. And what I'm telling you is take them host. Let me tell y'all what Mandy's talking to take them host floors. We know them, bitch, just call it roses, which I want to talk about a legal business so bad, And every film the meeting I have, we're like, yeah, we'll do the broth flo and maybe

we can find a real street walker. And they're like, hey, bitchy, we just got some ad dollars. Okay, So what Mandy's talking about where roses is back in the day on Craigslist for arrows arrows. There's another one that's not Craigslist, what is it? What is it? Back page? Backpage? That was the one where they would not be able to say how much money that you could give them, so they would say roses or another term to have some like a quantity or something new maracle in front of it.

It would be like a dozen plut like yeah, literally roses and flowers where the way they justified how much you have to get you have to give them. But the reason that I've been wanting to talk about it is because the boyfriend experience we'd never get to explore. And I'm really curious because I feel like women need that more than men. But like, yeah, how why how and how else? Through Like what exactly are you doing.

It's crazy because for a lot of the boyfriend experiences, like but you know, I'm friends with host, I have a lot of sex worker friends, the boyfriend experience a lot of time, and it's this is crazy, ladies, I don't know what y'all are doing with your partners just to listen. They'll go out to dinner and it's a woman being attentive to them, complaining about work, their family, the house, the kids. So no the man, So when when so girlfriend? When when men are out getting the

girlfriend experience? Where again, we think that a woman maybe wants a boyfriend experience more. No mind you, you're paying for a lot more hours because it's normally a dinner date included, or it's an overnight stay or a half a night, so the rate is much higher. But literally, all my friends that give girlfriend experiences to guys, it's like this nigga just wouldn't shut up. They literally just

want a woman to listen to them. And so in relationships, I don't know if that's something that women just stopped doing, but a lot of times it's just they want to be heard. I ain't gonna hold you. The married men that I dated in the past like that I'm still very much friends with That's what they used to say. Like, I love that I could talk to you about the creative mind that I have. My wife doesn't give a fuck.

He thinks it's a waste or a hobby. Like my wife doesn't allow me to just share the things that excite me a lot. And so that's what that's what I was. I don't think that women don't do that. I think that men don't have a soundboard. What do you mean by that? Like, it's funny because I think about the nineteen Keys episode a lot because there were a lot of holes that I didn't expose. Hole, you

didn't expose your house. Here's okay. For one, there was something said which jokes on me because it was very much like, oh, woman's like so focused on business and I'm not finding family and like, but one of the things he talked about was needing a woman to be there to express himself and like be his I don't know what word he looked at, but like his comfort right, And he did talk about sharing creative ideas right that

I do think women do. I think what happens is when a dude gets around you or me or you get around the quote unquote lost bitch LLC type, now you cook it. Like I noticed that with niggas all the time. I was a home back, I was an accountant. I'm telling you that I would never had and don't get me wrong, I would definitely listen. But like I've seen in the last few years of my life, how

men receive from me when I'm talking now money in business. Now, it's like there's a different respect level and it what's sad about that? Is it very well? Maybe these women that these men have, but when other niggas kind of respect you and fuck with you, then they're like, oh, now I gotta listen. They've got to see something that

they would like to have from you. Almost I actually don't believe, and sure some men, but I don't believe because we have so many women to listen to this pod that have their own businesses, whether it be small or big or working nine to five theirs jobs right, and I still think they may not get that. I'm starting to think now when men are giving me that it's because they want something I have. They really are like, oh I could fuck with that or I could see

myself doing that. Like I have a lot of homegirls that work in corporate America that make high figures, and niggas don't really give them that energy. And I think they do it to me. If they're also a creative or if they're aspirational, she might very well make more money than me. You may have that, because baby, when I tell you, I'll be talking to these little creative niggas,

get the fuck off my phone, niggas. But you can remember some of these niggas I'm meeting now are creative and late like they really like yep, I love that were not in the same pool because I don't want none of them CREDI niggas that way we do the all retired niggas that are like, oh no, I want one now. Yeah, now that I have the time talking to you on all these millions, he said to me, I don't want to start a production car. And this is a very real sad thing, he said. Can you

imagine broke me and you? He said, I'm astine, how lit our lives would be, How much time we could have, he said, we probably have kids. He said, shit, Nina gonna be fed. We might be struggling to eat, but like we would live such a happy life. Broke me and broke you think about it. He's like, maybe you really do need a fucking broke nigga, because I can't fucking fly to you right now. You can't fly to me. And he's like, but like the broke versions and to

be real, that shit is a thing. These creative niggas sometimes, bitch, if you can find you a little free lance nigga, they got a week off? Who I love? Just just take me. I just want a retiring the NBA players. To me, that's that? Did you seem Safari ask for a freezing sect? To me, you need to get slap man. I wanted to get into of this list of five.

I wanted to talk about two of the sluttiest woman in history and what they did, only because while we think we are lit, we are nothing compared to these women. The first one is Virginia o'dawn o'dwani. She is from Tuscany back in eighteen thirty seven, and when she was seventeen years old, they married off to a guy twelve years older than her. Would not be legal now, but

back in the eighteen hundreds, I guess it was. Now check this out at the time, what we now call Italy was a bunch of smaller countries, and Virginia's cousin was part of a group that wanted to unify them. He took one look at his hot, young close relative and realized the best plan was to get her to cheat on her husband with Napoleon and hope some political

pillow talk could turn the tide. Because nineteenth nineteenth century Europe was apparently an alternate universe Game of Thrones, complete with a short guy in creepy family relationships, Virginia managed to become the Emperor's mistress for over a year, and shortly after it ended, he set the troops to unite

the peninsula. Historians disagree about how influential she actually was in making that happened, since various battles, entreaties, and intrigues were going on at the same time, but she gave herself basically all the credit and was pissed off that everyone else did not. She basically said that she continued to cheat on her husband and made a nice living out of it. Eventually, word got around to the unbelievably rich but famously singi Lord Hertford, where he actually offered

the countess, you're ready for this? Is how No, my pussy ain't all waiting at you. One million francs for one night with her. There was one catch. She had to do anything he wanted. I talking, he asked for that. You want to know what the fuck does Nigga wanted? The legend has it she agreed that she couldn't sit down for three days. That's it before a million francs? Bitch? What year was eighteen eighteen thirty seven? Inflation calculator? A million francs? A million of any of them things is

a lot. But what are francs? I think it's German? Right f R eight francs to USD is what Swiss? Sorry? Okay, so that's about to say, let's see eighteen ninety three? How many eighty seven? No? Six zero, no seven zero, no six figures? So seven six zeros? No, bitch, a million to seven figures? I know, but that's only six zeros, that's seven zero. Then how come it's nine eight seven figures? Bitch? Oh?

I thought she was the math all right? Now? Thirty three million dollars today, bitch, I will stand up for a month. I will not sit the size down. And maybe it would actually get a little bit more plump because the way I stood on it, I think it'd be thirty three. That's a million a day. You said a month. That's a millionais of change to day. Give it to me. I one more rich. You gotta be for that. That's like that due by rich bro That's

really right. I've been working on a finance podcast for like helping someone out, like consulting, and one of the things that I uncovered in it was that the wealthiest people in the world, like they were talking about like, um, how either they do nothing or they do everything. There's really no in between. People. You either like the Zuckerberg who drives like a priest and lives in Kawahi in a simple house, or you're the Dubai guys that have like the golden toilet that like to burn money in

shows and do all this shit. Like people don't know how to have a median. Watch me being nig I will literally knock all of the teeth fucking ears. I'll get golds just there. No y'all, y'all thought body was bad. Bitch, I'm having tigers. I would be that ignorant. I'm buying tigers backyard. Go ahead, Okay, well that was just that was just for a month. I'm just fantasize if I had the money that like Zuckerberg. Shit's got bitch, give me a tiger, all right? The last one, Um, this

comes from an Afro latina. Um. Well, she went from Angola to then Brazil. So I don't know if she's Brazilian or in Goland, but here we go. Um. Zinga of Dongo and Matomba was born in what is now Angola. Our story goes to Brazil. This goes back to fifteen eighty three, where she spent the rest of her life kicking us and having sex. I know that's right. By the time her father died in sixteen eighteen, the Portuguese

were slave trading their way all over Africa. Zinga's brother took over as leader, but he immediately gave the invaders everything they wanted. When the Portuguese started ripping people from their homes and sending them to work to death in Brazil, the Bunda tribe turned to Zia to save them. Hold on, Boonda, that's a butt here she go, but in Portuguese, so is boondo. Umboo, there's an m in the front. I'm just leaving the m silid. We would like to not

get canceled as we have an upcoming to her. Boodoo if y'all, if you are maybe a m it's boom boomdoo, but there's like no vale between it, so I'll know how to say okay, Mandy. Anyway, she started fighting back. This was in saying since Portugal's one of the world's biggest powers, but she led her armies in guerrilla warfare and held them off for forty years. Here's the thing. With all this fighting, she must not have had much time to meet guys. She got around this problem by

having a giant harem. Yes, women can have hundreds of men that they keep enslaved for sexual purposes. This is so fucked up, but this would be a fantasy. Literally wait, so legend has it. She managed to combine two of her favorite things. It's up to pick which hot guy you were going to have sex with each night, so she found a full proof option. Two of the men would have to fight to death, and whoever one got to sleep with her that night, then the next morning

he would be killed as well. Bro Don the pussy is a parting list, so it's like a death what would you like? Tope eyes? The first point age catches up to us all. At seventy five years old, she decided she didn't need a harem anymore disbanded it, but she made an honest man out of one of her youngest sex slaved, which she lived another seven years uh and kept as her partner. Yo, I think it's crazy. I would love to see that in a movie or

like an audios you know what I mean? Like not you haven't niggas fight to death to fuck you, just to fuck you and then you like all right and die and I'm still no. Maybe it's like Jeopardy they get to make it till the next night regardless. It's nuts. Um, I don't know how much time we have. I guess we could get into a homemail. You picked one? Did you want to read it? For the guests that chose to just not show up? Sorry? UM, I know you said no. She's a bit um. Two fifty eight for

a three pm show? Not a big deal, y'all. We a guest canceled two minutes before she was supposed to be here her I don't checked the night before, Like what made you check on her was it giving bullshitter? Everyone gives bullshitter to me, especially when they asked to be on something like when we reach out and we get the excitement in return, I'm like, okay, we're good. Should be by the way. By the way, the Trumpeter drove from DC to come just to be on our show.

Of course, had other fun in the city, but literally drove to be here. I remember, we've had people drive up from Philly, We've had people come fly crazy anyway, is the girl that I interviewed in the wheelchair Ashley years ago? She flew from Jackson life. That's what I'm saying. It's like crazy, that is crazy. But here's the thing, like when you really want your story told, like and love Love Naked. Trumpeter glad he was able to have

the ye. So this is our homemail. Guys, if you would like to send in a homemail, please send us an email to Horrible Decision. I mean this is kind of long, but literally shelved, don't um I think actually we read this one. Yeah, we read this one, so I'm gonna read one of the other. Um um it says sad, Yeah, we read it. Wait, help this thirty two year olds there's no way. Just got sent. I got it, I'll read it. Oh, I had it pulled up from you. Are you sure we didn't read it.

It's the platonic where she does. I feel like we did that in La Bro. This was Saturday, Nigga. Oh, just got sent? She resent that shit. I'm telling you we read that thing already. Bucket list birthday throple. No, oh, that's not what you had in your notes for the last things. You know, it's crazy all we're not gonna edit this out? Go ahead? How do we do the show? Go ahead? Okay, damn, I really hope I can't read

this ship your Mandy and Wheezy. I have a wild for myself bucket list birthday wish kink fantasy that I would like your health and fulfilling bitch. So you know that's not what the fuck you had on out. I know this is another one. Okay, yeah, this one is new, this one new. I'm thirty two years old, going on thirty three June. Team Gemini. Okay, bitch, you gave this

ship some time and I'm currently dating. My sex life is past embarrassing and dull, and I haven't had good sex since I broke up with my ex four years ago. Between the pandemic, dating being the Ultimate Hunger Games, and the fact that I've enjoyed being in the house quite a bit, I'm now at the point of insanity and there's nothing more than I want than good, mind blowing fucking I deserve it. I'm a great person, just caught in a terrible time. I'm reaching out because I have

no idea for what my fantasy is. I have no idea on how to facilitate it. I have no idea on how to bring into life. And I've never even had a one night stand, so i don't see myself turning my dreams into a reality. But I need help, and who better than the ultimate king friendly queens of horrible decisions. First of all, bitch, you act like we out here being dick A and rs. I mean, yeah, I like that. Who better than you guys to help

me for my birthday? Oh? I like I want to fly to a different city and be part of a throutle with two men for an entire weekend. I want to explore the city with them, make them laugh. I'm sorry, I have the answer already. Visit museums, try new Russians talking about music and get to annoy each other, go back to a luxury hotel where they spit roast me

and fuck my brains out. Yes, I have a sub spit roast, praise kink, and this is my ultimate fantasy to literally just become a toy to two dominant men who command my every move in the bedroom. Whisper spree, I'm sorry, Whisper sweet nothings. Nope, bitch. First of all, she acted like this is easy. Okay, let me keep reading. I got that, I got the advice. Okay, Whisper sweet things in my ear. I'll call me a nasty slut

for following instructions. Tied up, flip tossed. Put me back on a flight to come back to my life as a consultant. This is my dream and my brain placed this happening in Dallas. But I'm okay. I would never be able to pull this off by myself and nowhere to start, which is my I'm begging for your help not to do the sub. I'm ready to start seriously dating again and making myself vulnerable to the idea of settling down, but want to live out my ultimate fantasy

before I do. It. I want to cross off my ultimate sex bucket list item and then find the love of my life. Only put one penis in my mouth for the rest of my days. I want ballot and excitement, thrills. I want to be on all four is getting fucked by one man while having another man hold my chin up and throw it for me. Hopefully you can be

my fairy godmothers and bring my king dream true. Okay, girl, listen girl, so join our patreons patreon dot com, back slash Horrible Decisions and hop yours in the discord because the way people have become married, gotten fluid out and literally have orgies through our discord. It's a lot of sex friendly, openly kinky individuals that either want to experience

things for the first time as well. There's a whole kink channel where they're sharing nudes, people share about who they've met, there's ratings, there's all the things on our discord on Patreon. I would say that's the way Nandy says, you want this advice, you're gonna give me fifteen dollars your show as on patron um. But also I have found in the spaces and then it may take you time to find it. I would say, maybe bring your

head to New York. I have seen probably every single time I've been to the sex club a woman enjoying multiple minute one. So I don't know if you have the wherewithal to have this happen in front of a room of people. I do think you would be able to meet very outgoing gentleman, how says she wants. I want to visit a UCM. I want to have dinner. Girl, you ask me the sex club is great, or you can't have Picasso and penis, I mean, or fat life. So fat life isn't at that. I know, motherfucker's be

getting on and they'd be getting a little thing going. Um. There's also probably men on there that have men that they trust to gang bang with. Homie Yeah, yeah, like homies that they're like, yeah, we could do this. This bitch want to be sweat it out, that's easy. So you know, I want to see what she looked like. I'm googling here? Why are you? Why are you always gotta google and look up? Because I don't know everybody's

for somebody I don't know about. Oh, she'll definitely get fucked now, bitch, if you want to go to the sex club with me. Did you just look up her LinkedIn US though? Yeah, I don't like you. Listen y'all about you're about to have people start making up fake emails. She's beautiful. Why when did you go to ya? Would never violate somebody? Oh? You mean because this is if they're ugly? This is awful for me to say. But you would easy steal, you could get you could get

some niggas to fuck you. Naw, I know it's fun, bitch. I would fuck you if I saw you in a sex club. All good for you, Mandy the fuck up? And you know what, who is to say she's not the bigger hole? Look at that, you know what. Anyways, y'all, we gonna get up out of here. I hope that y'all enjoyed and learn some shit about fucking women's history monthy oh, because bitch, we gotta whole money at Lanter. We're gonna be there in a few weeks. We're gonna

be at the Black Effect Pod Festival. I'm actually really excited. I know you got to see Robin. Do you remember when I went to the Wrong Day? Yeah, that was crazy. That didn't I fly out the next, y I couldn't even be nut, y'all. I was supposed to be at the Reasonably Shady and shout out to Robin and Jael. I'm actually really sorry because I was not fucking busy up for that. That's crazy. Do you remember that my mom loves going to add it to the calendar, bitch?

Oh my god, you just be thinking, you just shook. I had added to the calendar the wrong thing Pacific. Yeah no, no, anyway, bitch, I showed up the City winery. I said, damn, I thought this. It was. That was great. It was. I was out there by myself, y'all. April twenty second, we are going to be a part of other Black Effect podcasts for the Black Effect Podcast Festival at PU Put Them Yards or something like that. Pullman,

Pullman Yards. Um. So we are going to be joined by eighty five South Big Facts podcast Checking In with Michelle Williams Williams Reasonably Shady, and it's actually hosted by Jess Hilarious Charlotte and DJ Louis b. So get your tickets, bitch. Shows start at twelve pm. It's at full minute headline and we're gonna be towards the afternoon evening. Oh I know, bitch, I'm just letting y'all know if you would like to enjoy other people and not trying to fade a and shit,

I'm just saying they are not horrible descision. Make sure you get your tickets now is do you see the website to where they can get tickets? Damn hold and now you ask me a lot hold on Black Effect dot Com Backslash Podcast Festival. There we go, and we'll put it in the description of this episode. Y'all. Thank y'all so very much for tuning in. Make sure you join our patreon. Uh, make sure you see everything else

we got going on. Also, if you want to join me in Tarsi Kikos with Medina Murrow from Cocktails h the details are in the description for that as well, join our patreon, watch our other podcasts, and we'll see y'all in Atlanta for twenty two students are only twenty five dollars, bitch to get into them, bring up them.

Goddamn y you know what's crazy. I still got my fucking uh the some of the most iffortable tickets I've seen for a podcast, so I will be buying some suits What festival can you get into for twenty five dollars? Oh Charlemagne? Really through y'all. Niggas, b there we go, your tickets, bring your friends, let's have a good time. Andy y'all. Thank y'all for tuning in to yet another episode of h Blood. This is y'all. Buy y'all.