EP 307: Kinkstruments (Ft. The Naked Trumpeter)

Welcome to another episode of Horrible Decisions. We're here shooting in New York. You know, we've been virtual, we've been in LA, we've been in the base years, We've been doing a lot. So finally we're back in the city and we're sitting next to a man that I know from one clip who was the interviewer? Was that the super duper humble gum who we actually had on who really your clip to me made that damn? I feel like everybody found him from that clip, so it was

so cool to see the guy behind the clip. Everybody everybody literally tagged you. And we'll get into also that clip later. Don't even want to share what it is. Right, No, listen, wait, what do you mean? Don't share what it now? Because it's not read the outline. I got the outline. We don't even not. I don't want to get into it, but I want to know how New York was. Let me let me we have the naked trumpeter in the building, y'all, we have the naked trumpeter. A ka Eli. We're gonna

go We're gonna go back and forth with it. We're gonna go back and forth with it because you got clothes on today. That's what you say. I mean if you call me naked trumpter, I mean I can get it addressed. But I don't know. Okay, So we got Eli, Okay, I don't know. We could closet this on YouTube if you don't have you have a short time, he said, I'm free, Wenna, go for nipple. I am, but anyway, I'm calling um. So before I guess we start and get into it. How has New York been treating you?

It's good, Listen, New York always treats me lovely. It's a great place to be. Why what's so good about it? How I treat you lately? It's about the physical touch moment we made you stop saying you know. So what I find is like so you all know how you look, and sometimes you get to be objectified for you have

a large this or you have a small that. So last night I just was able to touch someone everywhere on their body and kind of like the love handles, the footpa, the back of the caps, the back of the knee, of the feet, um, like the turkey wings, all the parts that most people just like when you're flying. But it doesn't matter how how big or small you are. But as far as touch, most people touch where it touch you where it's as you're right. So when someone

touches your entire body, it's a somatic experience. So it brings you out of your head and then you have to think about you don't always want to be ejectified. You don't want to be oh, I have a big ass, to just touch me. There. So a lot of times when people interact each other only touching certain spots. So when someone touches you in the place that you may be uncomfortable, if they do it in a way that you can tell like this motherfucker likes this, it makes

you feel away. Wow. Well, what's crazy too is the things that you do sexually don't always involve penetration, hands or twoys at all. The naked trumpeter, You actually really play the trumpet? Yeah, I actually have it. You have the trumpet. I would I would, I ain't gonna hold you. I would tell you to grab the trumpet. The problem is, I've seen where you have placed that trumpet, and so

I want to talk about that more than one. That's why I'm like, yes, this is my personal home, but I claim the trumpet in the case, sir, I do want to know. So you play the trumpet, and you play the trumpet on It's not like you just played at a club, right, you play the trumpet on other things. Can you please share the first time you pulled the trumpet out in a sexual place in what you do with your trumpet? And why? So listen? Um? The funny to tell the story this way. Yeah, the contextually it

wasn't my idea, It wasn't. Oh. I was talking to my mother and my mother is a dom she's uh in the sex work. Um, so she was like, hey, have you ever thought about putting trumpet on the ladies? And I was like, no, while I do that. And she was like, well, is there anything that you do as a trumpet player that enhances you sexually? And I was like, yeah, a lot of stuff. And she was like, well, put the trumpet there and let me know how I go.

So I was like, all right, I'll do that. She's a musician too, No, she's no. I mean she she played violin, she played piano, but she's not actively a musician at this point. And so I did it in a session and I was like, and I asked her. She like, she's like, I felt like a vibrator. But it was just different. And so musically, when you give give someone the sound by certain frequencies actually responding to

your body a certain way. So when I put it over your evolva, it is the equivalent of a vibrator. Do you consider it a sound? Bet? It is um Even when I played trumpet for myself from tuning my body with the music, like saying, oh you chant, you're tuning yourself, but imagining me doing like this, it's the same thing. It's a vibrator. So well, I turned my mouth into a vibrator. I turned the trump into a vibrator.

If you like vibration. You're gonna enjoy what song gives the best response on the pussy It's not really a song, it's more of a tonguey emotion. Well, he thought you were playing America's a beautiful No, I said that what it was just there? It was actually Daniel Sear Get You. That's that's what I was playing. That's what I was actually playing. You know what's crazy? That is like one of my favorite records too, fuck Too of all time.

I had to do a sex playlist and Get You by Daniel Ceesar, even though I know people try to cancel him. Is one of those people trying to cancel. He was because he talked about something about black woman. He was sticking up for somebody online. But he's canceled. Like nobody folks with Daniel Cesar anymore, and it sucks. But I really liked that song. I like everything he does. And I told you no one's really canceled. Just sh now. He's some good ship. His music is really fun. Just

get canceled. I gotta get back into you. Get a Twitter went on yours and that was a really fun hole. I fell in for thirty minutes. Wow, you spent thirty minutes. I was I was on the phone with someone I'm dating, and I was, I just only new your clips. I just wanted to look, and you know, we always check out our guest for an episode. I was like, damn,

this trumpet shit is crazy. And then I kept going and going, and I think that you had probably the widest range of like hitting everything in sex work on a Twitter that you possibly have as a man. Yeah. Sorry, I don't know your program, no, no. If you do have that, if they them. But for me, it's like I tell people I don't I don't have a persona. It's like the neket trumpeter is just I'm telling you

that I'm a newdist that plays trumpet. Listen, because you do have somewhere you literally are just standing naked playing your trumpet too, and there's not another person involved in the video, not at all? Right, and what you like? So you said, um, get you was one of your favorite songs have sex too? Yeah, think about it this way. Attention is something that we all see being humanized. So if I'm giving you eye contact and I'm playing a song for you, and you recognize the time it took

for me to actually do that. You recognize the planning that it took, the execution. So it's intensive. It's being attentive in your everyday life. Even if you're dating somebody, deal on somebody. How often is someone actually planning and executing something for you where you all you have to do a show up, right, So in my sessions, that's what it is. That's basically what it is. It's a conversation. What are you like? What are your yeses, your nose,

what are your fantasies? What things actually turn you on? And half of them aren't sexual. It's like most of the time when you think about do you find that that takes more effort? No, if they're non sexualized. No, it feels like sex could be easier. I feel like in sex work, like if I had to do girlfriend experience type shit, I feel like I'd be more stressed out than just having to have sex. At the end of the day, you want to be humanized, you know,

sex is is secondary. Connection is the first thing that's night needed. So let's say if I wanted to take both y'all on it the date, I have to convince you that I see you as a human. You're used to somebody like, oh, she got a fat us, so like you, she knows what she's like. You know what you look like. You know, oh I got this in this. So if I tell you that, you're like, Okay, I know I don't look like I put on his outfit.

I put on the makeup, the ear rings. So when you're able to see somebody's human, it's as their character, it's not what they look like. And so for me, regardless of what we're doing, when I do that with you, you're open to everything. The way you get to have sex on the first date is seeing someone as a human, not seeing them as anything beyond that, not objectifying them, but making them feel felt and seen and heard. And when you could do that, everything that you could think

that you possibly want to do, you're open to. I think that's a very mature way to view it, only because, like I do think now, in dating, everything is so instant that I don't think that many people do humanize the people they date. They objectify first, they look, they look first, right, so they go after what either makes their dick hard or what makes as a woman, what

makes them wet. Like I think we are still very visual creatures and I think because of social media and because of technology, it's removed people from knowing how to communicate like just humanly. And look, first, I'll say, even with my ex, like the best thing that I think that made him number one in our sex was actually how he used to stretch me after that was something that I had never really gotten from another part of partner, like someone really taking care of I know, I just

fuck the god shit out of you. Let me make sure that you can still move during the day, so let me open up your hips more, let me make sure your back isn't hurt. Because but you know, what I mean of someone seeing you as a human is a form of somebody be in intensive right. And I think that's what I'm saying. For the most part, I don't think men are that thoughtful. So I think how you said, the experience that you had with someone where you where you gave, you know, intimacy to every part

of their body. A lot of women don't get that treatment. And you know that because that's why that was very special to that person to even be able to feel that. I love the think about it. Think about this, if your only value is the food that you can cook in your body. That means I only like you for two things, has nothing to do with you as a human. If the only time I call you is when I want to get inside of your body, you recognize what

that is? When when having sessions? Do you ever have virtual sessions that turn into non sexual and when they are virtual? What does that look like? Because in person, it's really easy to give um, you know, show intimacy in ways that may not be like touching genitalia? But what about when they're virtual sessions? Are we touching right now? Don't try to fuck me with y'all, I'm asking you a question. I'm being serious. Are seriously are we touching

right now? No? How do you feel about the conversation so far? I mean, I'm enjoying the conversation, but it's a genre that I like to speak about. That's neither here nor there. I'm just saying, how do you feel about the conversation. I'm being serious, the conversation with all three of us. I feel splendid about it right No one else in the roomat as I'm talking to you, I know, but I'm saying, like, Oh, I like I like I like the redness of your cheeks, look, oh

yeah you are. You are getting a little frizzly, bitch. Don't get friends. Okay, all right, I was asking something really specific, and I'm asking that because one of the only things that I've ever heard of dom or someone that has sessions virtually do was ignored sessions. And I thought it was so crazy. It was Carmen life. Lisa Spliff said, we've had her on the years and years ago, but when she talked about that, she was like, people loved it. People felt like I really catered to their

needs by that. And it's ironic because you're being ignored. I have a question, what do you like to be called? My name like wheezy outside of that, like a pet name, anything that you like to be called? Um Gilo, which is my first name. But how do you like to be touched? Uh? It depends? Okay, if you saw it could be hard, Like I vary, tell me something I can't guess about you, Mmm, something you couldn't guess. I'm introverted. I believe I was gonna say she can't eat baked

mac and cheese. You ain't know that did a lot of black people are lacked pose man. She alerted to Hey, difficult bits to go out to eat with baby act. You wouldn't have known that it's actually easy. Quality with somebody you find you're interacting is so go back to humanists. You figure out what the person likes, they don't like. You don't do things they don't like. You do things that they're interested in that you mutually enjoy, and you

figure out their their blueprint. And if it's difficult, shouldn't be hanging with the motherfucker. I'm gonna be real. You ever find that sometimes people have like very simple yeses and nose and you feel like they're the biggest thing in the world. That's somebody you really can't be hanging with. Like whenever I noticed that when someone's like, what I like is very simple, but it's hard for me to do just even friendships photonically, I'm like, this just isn't

for me. Oh I do that with time. If I'm around someone who's just constantly always late it, I just let them know this is this does not work for me, and it will build resentment. I do not like people that play with my time, and I've shared that with my partner, like I've shared that with my my uh my co host. I've shared that with just about everybody in my life that time is one thing I do

not play with and I do not take lightly. And so if it's if it's someone who is just constantly I was going to show up or be late, slowly they'll start being removed out of my life. Like I'm very I'm very quick to tell people like that's a big thing. But that goes to being intentional. But that's what I'm saying, and again, treating me like a human.

If it's one thing that you know I absolutely hate to me, I literally draw the line and look at it as a sign of either disrespect that you just don't give a fuck about me, because I vocally I vocalize that this is something that drives me crazy and that I do not like. And so if you don't even try to be on time for me, then that's how I take it, and that's how I perceive it, and then you're you know, you gotta go. I think I'm very big now with vocalizing the things that bother me.

I did that with my last relationship, and I've been learning how to create boundaries as well. But to me, vocalizing the things that you don't like. When you're in a relationship and you see that the person that you are with it's not even attempting to make up to not do the things that you don't like to me, then that person has very little reverence for you. And that's just how I perceive. I agree. You agree with that well, So in virtual sessions to finish up that

day answer, it's more about what you like. And this is the same thing because this is in space, but because I'm not touching you, I look at its just virtual. It's more about connecting to you as a human and in space is the same thing, given you agency to say yes or no, given you letting you know that I'll do anything that you want me to other than my heart limits, and I'll tell you what that is. So there's always setting the stage to worship the person

that you're in front of. So I look at connecting as a form of devotion because we do everything for a god that we've never That's a great word. I I've been using that a lot lately through meditation and stuff. Devotion Like, I've been using that a lot, and I think that we're using words like that. Sometimes it feels real serious, but like at the same time, it's a simple way of telling someone that you are taking them serious, you know what I mean. Like I used to associate

words like devotion or body worship. That's the first time I would start using worship in a sexual way, right, and I would associate that with like, Oh, this feels like very commitment and very serious. But I do like the intention behind sexual relationships, Like I must say, like, even through casualty, I've had experiences like that this whole podcast, Like, I've always had very good foundation built with the people

that I've had sex with. And I think that when meeting sex workers, it's always so interesting to me when someone is a little more intellectual, because I know some sex workers that are like, oh girl, through some pasiotomy, pay me whatever, I'm out and then making just as much money or respected the same way as the sex worker that's sending you a checklist before they meet up

with you. So it's just interesting to meet different people and and and see what that's like, which is kind of crazy that we're even talking about this with you, considering the first video I saw of you is you blowing your trumpet into someone's pussy. The next one is the shower, and here we are. I didn't want to have about love and respect. I didn't want to answer you too, because again you go down the rabbit hole of your Twitter, it doesn't seem like much as off limits.

So what are your heart limits? Wow? So is the list long or short? It's actually short. I figured, I'm oh, wow, you know what I ask you that that was my first question. Good, So I try to explain it to people. I love women of color, specifically black women. I just do um. I don't want to be called in word. I don't want to be some. I'm not into queen of space. I don't want to be your BBC like, that's not my thing. But we joke about it, but I actually do it. I mean it's a lot of

people say in BBC is weird to me? I like it? Wait, but do you because I search it because I don't want to see what not. We literally talked about it though, like when you put in white cock or big cock. A lot of it's but you're not white saying calling a man. No, no, I don't vocalize. It's searching. Yeah,

I don't have to say BBC. I've only been with black men, so like to me that word, but when I'm searching it online, I absolutely do search that word because that's what I want to see, right, I mean, like you see you're saying I don't want to be called that. Oh yeah, I mean I mean so it's a thing called BBC. Yes, oh I don't know, Like that does not sound sexy. But to be called BBC people do it tony all the time. I'll put it like this, Um, there are certain people that are I

want to talk about. Yeah, we talked about cracow. Come on, sorry, space people in sex positive spaces, this is what you'll see. We're having a conversation. I was an exoteric though which one in DC, A white lady comes up interrupts me having a conversation. She sees me talking to a group of black women. She interrupts me. It's like, it's time for you to spank me. So I was like, you know what I said, I'm an indulger. But the way that I did it, all the black women was like, yeah,

get her. There's like getter because they can see it. There's like getter. And but the way they move is such an entitlement and it's such a turn off women of color. Don't act like that. But you could be madly attracted to me, but the way you approach me is still from his place of self respect and respect for my humanists. I was at the space changing clothes, and that's why lady was like, damn, the BBC's here,

and I'm like, first of all, you're never gonna feel it. However, ill grows right because you literally just did something that I'm not into. So race play, I don't. I don't want I don't want blood. Okay, Now I say I'm in the water sports because like what I what I do enjoy is when a lady sports all over me. That brother, it isn't what she said in my face. Whether however it happens, you say, square it all over

me anywhere, but not what about golden showers? I'm not I'm not opposed to it, Okay, I mean because I recognize like things with things I despise, seen it other than my own really buys I used to And now what is it like? You know, I drink a lot of water, shipload of fruits and vegan. Is it clear? That's what she just said on so I know what it tastes like because I taste one all the time. So, like I jokingly said, bumpasaw sweet on on the interview,

but I was being just spent selling physicians. However, not everybody takes that like you know, you you all had bad exactly, that was it. Yeah, Like men that are doing like helloprotein creatine like all that extra shit. I'm like, yo, are you sure you're not on those steroids because this can't be real. That's how bad its weed smokers terrible. Yeah, I will say vegan definitely the best I've ever tasted.

Hey to admit, because I am not a plant based girl, but they do be having yo listen, even vegan women even taste better. I know. It's I was talking about both it and it's it is. It's really because of the cidickness of what we eat, because you end up tasting like salt. It ends up being like having a different flavor, even like if you don't drink water, Yeah,

same thing. It turns out, I've been learning a little bit with my own self, like with tasting right before, especially because like with having new partners, you know, the first time, I want to be like perfect, So like sometimes I definitely I'll cut red meat off right before I know I gotta date, but I heavy up the fruits like and really the water is the main different. I think water over even water. What is a big

thing is a big thing for me. Women that eat an excessive amount of shrimp you can tell and it's like really, yeah, well I mean I'm allergic. So yeah, and I did Wait what happened? Oh yeah you it could come through the pussy. Wait, but no happens to you. It makes me nauseous. I don't I don't swell, but it is it show fish it has been and she immediately likes. I mean she and a lot of it. And we were shooting together. I was like, um, tongues a little technically, and she like she spent a whole

week there day. So I date Muslims often, Um, but no, I like bacon. So when I'm with them, when I know, I'm like engaging in sex with someone, Um, this Muslim, I have to stop eating bacon because they tasted through the place they taste. I didn't think it was real. He knows he like them. Greens had bacon for the holidays. Didn't that. I was like, damn they show did they

showed them? But I didn't want to get us through our vanilla ship, because this is where I want to know just how strange, how kinky things have gotten around you. I found an article from me or dot co dot uk about a man who is in love with balloons. A man who is attracted to objects has dished the details of his relationship with multiple balloons. Akaj, who's twenty eight, is so besided with his collection of inflatable partners that

he could burst literally. The romantic identifies as object them sexual, which means he is sexually attracted to inanimate objects. He lives in Mumbai, India, and shares a bed with the balloons every night, and says that they also enjoy a physical relationship. I like their presence in war and share intimate feelings with my balloons, and vice versa. I make out with my balloons when we're in love. You spent a lot of time together and accept all kinds of flaws.

Every morning I wake up by saying good morning and giving a kiss to my balloon that sleep beside me, and vice versa. When they become inflated, I think that that's when they're born. I can talk to them, take them shopping and for a walk in the garden. They do talk me through dreams and telepathy, so talk me

through telepathy. Yes, it's nuts. I don't know what the conversation. Listen, Okay, so you're laughing like you probably have not heard of this because I wasn't ask have you met someone that's been in ahead? Now we're ready for the weird talk about I know you know people? So has anyone been in love with inanimate objects before? Wow? The one on your life? Okay, So, oh man, listen this this is interesting for me to talk about because I recognize it's

different for me. Um, but I feel that way about my trumpet, but not not in the sense of it talks to me like not not like not that, but in the sense of you can take it on walks. Well I haven't. It's literally with me more than people are. Um. But it's more it's more of a self love thing. Like when I play trumpet, it is me um tuning myself. It is me expressing how I feel through music. So it's a part of me. I love it. Yes, it brings. That's when it's actually produces, like you like a little.

So I'm doing that with my collar right now. So that's why. One of the reasons why I wear a collar because it's a slight uh like blood joke. I feel I'm over here like fucking myself right now, forgive me? Okay, So I do like trumpet to sit over here with you. I don't like you. Isn't your girlfriend? So I ironically if if you, if you subscribe to my Only Fans, you will see some pictures where I'm doing some things with my trumpet that you might be like like so

like what like it can't make noise no more? How about this? I to be honest with you, You're just gonna have to subscribe. I'm a legal now. That's why I'm like, oh shit, you you actually bought something out of it. I'm like that is actually you're laughing because you understood? Or do you put something in? Or is it You're gonna listen if you subscribe to My Only Fans, how much is how I made out with your trumpet outside of blowing it? Like so, so you might actually

have an affair with an inanimate object. Hey, y'all, this is why. Because you're laughing and you're like, oh shit, she talking about me. Maybe you're you gotta add that tier it. Actually, I've known this all of my life. So any woman that is every day, any person's every day to me recognize this. And I'm honest, I'm going to touch my trumpet more than I'll probably touch you, and has nothing to do with lack of desire for you. Um, it's like an or fixation. I enjoy playing the trumpet.

I enjoyed the blowing of it. Everything about it gives me like excitement. So um, it's it's very much a part of me and plants. I was thirteen, I'm forty one, so I get this away as well. I was laughing. I was like, talk to it though, Like, it doesn't talk to me. It doesn't help me through relational problems to it not. Do you drink or do drugs? First of all, I've taken time. Yes, I do drugs, that pharmaceutical,

plant medicine. Oh, mushrooms. So you're never had the mushroom look at that trumpet and been like it's me and you for life? No, I've never know. I have not. Now I do know that you can be aroused without getting hard, you can have an orgasm without shooting out. Does your trumpet give you like sexual feelings? Not in that sense, in the viboratory sense. Yes, okay, um, the same way I'm doing that make my lips vibrate. It's very somatic. It brings you out of your head and

into your body. It's the it's the diaphramic breathing. So it's like doing meditation medici breathing. Do you know about the breathing how Um, With deep breathing you can release DMT into the brain. Yes, and you can also have an orgasm. Right, So just with how you breathe with breathplay. So one of my teachers, two of my teachers, Grand teacher, that's what you made me think of. That's why I brought it up my grant, I mean to Peterson and then my teacher touched by Jack's they both we we

do breathwork and they we've been talking about it. But orgasm can come from breath. So when I'm playing trump, when people see me smoking, when you smokers are doing meditative breathing, they're going slow, meaningful breath. They're filling up their entire lungs and they're blowing it out. Regardless of that, that's that's need to hear nor there. But they're doing it. The breath is still meditating. So when I'm playing trumpet,

I'm doing that plus one. So play like if you know what you think about breath and fire, different ways to breathe, I'm doing that while I'm playing trumpet. So the kemp like you're saying DMT, I'm that's actually part of what's happening. Those deep intense breathings and then blowing out all the carbon knocks out of your body. It

has a very relaxing effect on the body. So the same way you get excited about a date you're going to go on, and then you go on the date, that's I'm getting dopamine oxytocin just from playing the trumpet because I'm excited about the thing. I'm excited about the plane. And then when I'm playing, I'm actually giving myself this boost.

So yes, i can be aroused. But as far as orgasm, the difference between the jaculas and orgasm is the jacqueline is the end of the erection orgasm when your legs starts shaking and you're a malebody person, like that's an orgasm, you're having one, you just don't recognize that's what's happening while you're having sex when you just start that little weird ass pumpy, like, how did you go from a steady rhythm to that weirdness? That's an orgasm? Wow, arousal

can be when you drink water or something. You're like, I'm like an explosion of joy as an orgasm, But we just centralize to our Genitalian We don't recognize I have a scene with bad Sad Jones. That's interesting. I wouldn't describe orgasm that way. I feel like orgasm has a peak and climax, So enjoying something like a drink,

I guess. I guess because like I'm getting there and then I'm going back down, but like a burst of joy from something that you do and then it dissipates, So you're right, orgasms kind of a peak and then it so meet your favorite food and you're like, ohh, how is that any different from when you're rubbing one out and you get that old Maybe the intensity, I guess, not just intensity is the location of it. But I promise you there's videos were I'm literally rubbing the ladies

calf and she's squirting all over. So so orgasm doesn't have to be centralized the calves. It doesn't have to be centralized two years Genitalia, so we experience. There's no touching of the puss. You are rubbing her scene the scene, it's on my only thing, calf and she is just squirting from her calf being rod ass water sports that might be it's squirt, not be No, it's squirt. Wow, I ain't gonna hold you. I'm gonna subscribe to I

have just added some more coins. I have flogged people and they've they've squirted, but not just on the volve, on the buttocks. It's because orgasm that is the build up is a build up of many things. But see that's because calves is different. Because your ass like being spanked. I feel it in my pussy. I feel a little, it reaches it somehow. That's local lies. But the calves,

that's talent. Now you deserve a fly. If you ever had a session with me, the way you would feel after it is different than the way you feel from somebody have a sexually it's given a sus but it's not even just that. So my pussy do begin when I get massages. That's a good thing they do. But as soon as your partner puts his penis inside you. You're worried about if they had fun, what I'm going to do to you. You're not worried about it I had fun. You're so focused on yourself you can get

into a space where your body is so sensitive. Why I could do like this and you, Oh shit, that's good if you can do that to people that are pleasers, because I am one, and I've realized that sometimes it's almost difficult for me when having sex with pleasers because we're almost both racing and we can't relax. And I think a lot of people need to unlearn that. I've actually learned that recently. M I was sleeping with someone that was such a pleaser and so was I, and

we were both too competing and pleasing each other. Yeah, not competing more than like, we couldn't relax or enjoy until the other person did. So now it was almost like I almost faked it just so he could get to it, so that I could get to you know what I mean. Like we laughed about it and like learned about that too, and he was like, yeah, I just can't, Like I just I need to get off it. You get an off I'm like I know, so what

should we do? Did laugh? Like, Um, I do want to get back into DMT because I haven't really sat with someone that I could have a conversation with that with about that with on Horrible, But I've been having many combos about it. So I've had DMT, have smoked it, um, and most people know it's a hallucinogen kind of like in that ayahuasca ish family, right. But learned about Kundalini through Liz Goldman, who we've had on the show, who took me to the yoga class, who taught me about

breath work and meditation. Then I learned about DMT being released through a lot of breath work, and I had no idea that DMT was something that your own brain can release. And when I did it for an hour, so apparently like it's almost they compared to the feeling of heroin, like when you're when your brain can get there, have you been able to reach it? Took me Like, it took me way too long, So um, when you

you probably don't watch it. If you ever see me do yoga on my Instagram lives, that's what I'm doing. It takes me about forty five minutes I'm using motion in breath. But another thing that happens when you go to the gym and workout or hard and you go to sleep and have a dream. DMT is when you're dreaming. You say it's hallucination, but your body creates a lot of time when you're smoking smoking, I'm saying the hallucination, yeah,

but when your body crazy, you can create it. You're just working out because when you're you're talking about breathing. When you're working out intentionally, you're generally focused on your breath. But when you're dreaming, that's DMT. You can create it through many different things. So, but physical exertion is one way. Meditation is another way. But when you do it, it's a it's a beautiful experience. Think about all the chemicals you're create in your body right now. You're your own

perfect drug factory. When you're excited about something that's dopamine, when you start to bomb with somebody's oxytocin and nobody has to touch you to police set in your body right, And that's what I was talking about being attentive. But DMT is a fire thing because of the way it makes your brain fire and what it does to the ego and how you can be like, damn, I'm not

alone in this crazy space. Also it oh, it crack kind of cracks open which you believe to be possible, and it puts you in a different space like cycles of mushrooms. It puts you in a whole different space. After you do, you're like, shit, I feel connected to everything and everybody. Yeah. Now, speaking of connections, speaking of kinkstruments as well, we're gonna get into our hord dirt because you are someone as well who enjoys antal play

on yourself and so we were lucky. It took us years to get someone to come on here and talk about them enjoying being pegged um. But you gladly sit on dial doos on your page as well, and so I would love for you to give us a sex tip about antal toys and pegging for men. One of the things is um reckons and it doesn't challenge your masculinity, our g spot. It's inside your an. It's there. God did that because you got y'all. And it's the same thing.

If someone is digitally penetrate and you're like, I mean, can you go to the top and pop that like can you touch the G spot. So it's the same thing recognizing that you can have the most amount of pleasure you've ever had in your life with just one finger in your rectum. And it literally takes less than ten seconds. Milk a process. As soon as you hit it's like, oh my god. Um. But the biggest thing is I would say, get a dilatory. It's one of the best toys. And it's small, starts off real small,

and it's a bloom. It expands. That actually allowed for me. It's the easiest way to take something in your in your rectum. Mum dilator like an anal training kit. That's exactly what it is. Just go to the sex doore and it's like it said, it's a little small, small ball. Hit the power button and just slowly expands. Oh what about prep um prepping, like literally preparing yourself for it. Prepping. Don't eat a lot of food that day the day you want to actually bottom trying not to eat, and

go get you some fleet. Take the water, take the solution out and just put warm water in it, squirted up in there and then your lower bow will be cleaned out and once it comes out with nothing but water. You're ready. Now we're going straight into kink tails from there. That's the horrible decision. I would love to know what the conversation was. Did you want to be pegged the first time? Or did a woman say that she wanted to peg it? How did that take place? Um, I

was asking for it, you were asking for it. What you should know is this when most people grew up trying to break into their parents born stash. My mom was a dog, so she had didos, she had an't weal be shit, a lot of stuff, and so I was like, what's this? Oh why is there a dick? Oh? What do you do with it? And you know, at some point, being a child, you don't recognize that you're a boy or a girl. You're just just doing thing.

You can take a bath with a whole boy and be teen years old, have no idea that that a boy and you're a girl. So I was in that space planet with Dido's putting things in my butt like so I'm like, oh, I didn't know that my g spot was there when I was doing it, but I was like that shit feels great. Was out here playing? How old were you when you were doing that? Oh man, And does your mama know that she was in there

playing with her toys? Yes, oh she does. I think when I found my first deal though, and I remember it was all black. It was about six inches, had no balls. Um, that's the scripted it. I probably was somewhere between. We were living in d C. So I was probably like twelve or thirteen, somewhere between eleven and thirteen. Um. At the time, my motherfucking life I was. I couldn't figure how to clean it at all. I didn't I didn't know about cleaning out. So it was my first experience.

Was pleasurable, but it was a lot of like me. It was not a ship like like like that. No pun into enjoying that at that age. What do you what's your sexuality today? Pan sexual? I was gonna guess it's all humans. So, but that you have a pan sexual vibe, um part of it. So my mom had a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and two of my godmothers were trans women. Um. And you grew up in d yes, So I grew up in a household where you were

encouraged to be you. Just if you're having sex with somebody, to be honest, don't lie about who and what you are, but just be you know, show up in the world. Luck. Yeah, yeah, thirty one. This is a really crazy thing to you. Hear so many younger people saying like, oh, like I had a coming out party and you're like, oh, like, imagine the person that like, were you one a few amongst friends? Um, so this is the funny thing. Um, and I don't I don't like the dry stitching or anybody.

I don't believe almost anybody straight for many reasons. As a sex work, we were not I don't even like to play this game like I'm not gay, but I'm a dude. So how about you don't gotta be gay whatever you call yourself. You're here for pleasure. I'll give it to you. Um, it's not even about sex, just dude touching to do man man man on mail touch. But I think what it is is we are sexualities based on who we will take home to our parents.

Sometimes in some cases, you may not actually be attracted to a one, be like this woman doesn't do anything for me. However, you made meet a woman, be like, she's so fucking fired, who would it be like to kiss them? So that's that's a different level of attraction, but it's more about their energy sexual attraction on the animal level. Some things you're not attracted to. But it may be a day like damn, I don't know how should get my pussy? Well, what the hell does happened

to me? But when it comes down to pleasure, if this was a dark room and you were getting your box age and it felt great to you, once the light comes on, you're like, damn, it was a dog. Oh shit, you'd be mad, you'd be pissed. But the whole time before you knew he was like yo, they he was going to town and it wasn't even a heat. So pleasure is separate than sexuality because dude, say they're straight, but they go to glory hose and who's in the

glory hole? Who's behind the wall. It was created for man, it was. It wasn't created for male on female right. It was a crazy to give your ammiunity to put your addict to a hole and get it sucked and be like, oh, I didn't know it was. You knew who it was. So sexualities and pleasure, you know, they can be separated because you don't have to quote unquote be attracted to a male, but you'll still use his mouth, You'll still use his asshole. That's a pleasure. Basic about

jail a lot. I had this conversation with people who are very much and identified as straight. But those are things that, yeah, they'll allow because it maybe it feels good or whatever the case. I was at a photo shoot Mandy, and let me just say this, the straight men talk more about my penis than the ladies that were there. But do you also think that that's a trained thing? Knowing that even important we talked about it. They often show the dick going in the pussy, the

coum shot, the dick getting sucked. Please tell me, please tell me what about that it's heterosexual? Because if I'm heterosexual, I want to see two women. I don't need to do what I need to do for I agree with you on the first part about people's scale, but I think people envision themselves important. Yes they can't, But what I'm saying is, if you're there's no need. I've met people that are woman or male body. They don't spend any time talking about a pussy because I don't like it.

She's cute. I mean, he banged her out, but I'm more about him. The fact that a lot of straight do spend so much time they want the larger penis. They want you to beat it on their faith. If you have a small penis, how do you imagine that's your openis. I'm not trying to be funny. If you're a white male fantasy though, I get it, but it's still fixated on the penis. Part of it is misogyny, I get it, but it's still you spend more time

talking about it than I do. And then women, but you say you're straight or part of it, and I'm being facetious. I recognize people can have their own preferences, just being silly, but it's just sexuality is so fluid in many different ways. Because it said pleasure and sexuality can be separated, but a lot of people enjoy pleasure, but they wouldn't take a dude home, right, But again, you'll go to a glory hole. I'm eighty twenty Actually was what you said, ady, agreeing that people for the

most part are not all the way straight. The twenty is that I think we can be very brainwashed into not letting us do that. I think men specifically, I mean, for the most part, we celebrate girls kissing a girl and it's funny and it's sexy and whatever. I think men can be so terrified to even look the other way that sometimes they want to allow their brain to

get there. I think about the men that I've wanted to have, you know, play with that we're just like, oh my god, don't like or just freaking out about it. Won't let their body relax, just can't think about it because it's been forced into them. And I mean that's a societal pressure, but I think that almost keeps you from it. I think maybe even I had a guy

tell me once that was open about it. He was like, I remember when I was like a teenager, I wanted to know what other guys bodies looked like in the locker room. I wanted to know if I looked similar, if I was bigger or smaller. I wanted to know. And then amongst looking like, I knew they were attractive, and it made me think of women, and like I would think about them and think about sex, but think about fucking women. That to me is still Kinsley skill. Shit.

I look at hot girls sometimes they might want to go fuck my boyfriend. You know what I'm saying like, I think, though, we've got to make sure that we're all having conversation about pleasure, Like I think you've said something today that I haven't heard a Really pleasure and sexuality are separate, because it's very true. Yeah, I really like that, especially because the clip of you that went

viral literally questioned both of those things. So you went viral for saying that you sucked your own dick and came in your mouth, which is ironic now that you say you don't like come, it's the thing. Oh you don't like other people's come, but you're cool with your because you know what you're eating and put it in your body. Now, there is a porn star and I'm so mad that I can't remember his name now, but that literally sucks his own dick off yeap crazy he

was no that he's new. I'm talking about like when we first got on the spot and I was like, oh wow, because he was very, very attractive. And that's why I like gay porn because they'd be fine. How can you do it? That's everybody suestion, right, is it? The bending over? Is it flexibility? Can anyone suck? By the way, By the way, can any man suck their own dick. Is that a thing that really all of

y'all can do? No, okay, it's anatomy and flexibility. So um, because I feel like anybody, Yeah, okay, So women can't. We can't. Oh, listen, we can't eat all busy. You see someone eat the busy. Let me tell you something. Listen. You telling secrets on a microphone is so funny. There are two people that I've seen do it. There's this Asian lady and the other person doesn't really do it, but they can put their face there. Um, I want to say. The name is Tabana okay, and she she's

a black contortionist. It is I know she can't and let me tell you. When she'd be teasing, I'll just be like, oh Jesus wow. And it's it's it is a thing to watch because I'm like, I just think, I like al due to you while you're doing that. But to answer your question, so, this is the size of my files. It is two hands plus this so literally I can bend over God that or I can put my legs over my head. What you say that big? I saw a video of it, but like what, I'm

sorry you put it nipple. Yeah, he just it's it's so god No, you really just put that up to your nipple. So check out when when it's hard, it's it's two hands and I can lift my thumb and my thumb is at the head of my penis. Oh okay, so when I bent over, I can uh, or if I put my legs over my head, that's it. That's when you get to throw your Listen, how is that? Are you a good dick sucker? Because you would know since you yourself like, how would you raise your dick

sucking skill? Listen? You know I did not wanted to know. This is the funny thing. No one has ever asked me. I don't know, So you have to understand this. You just do what you want to feel. No, not I ask people what they like? So no, no, I mean like on yourself myself. Yeah, I'm here, so i'm experiments. I'm like, oh, what is this? What is this? What

is this? But when I give other people head, it's more of like, what do you like even if it whether it's male female body, because they if you don't like what I'm doing, I'm wasting my time And I want to be intentional and I want. I want you not to be triggered. I want you to be seen in anything that I do. Um, because even if I missed the mark and you say I like this, this, and let's not do those three things, but I missed the mark somewhere on these other things, you'd be like

they gave effort. I like that. You. Everyone wants to feel that someone showed up for them, so you know, but I don't. I don't know. I don't. I can't say that I'm good. I don't know. What do you do it for work? A lot? Oh? Like you record yourself doing it well? Personally, I tell people when I'm in the mood there it may be like every other month, I'm in the mood to give myself at And one of the running jokes is he doesn't need anybody to pleasure.

I'm like, actually, I enjoy touch from other people. Um. It's something that I recognize when I was younger and I was like oh boom oh, and it was just like, oh, I did it. But it wasn't like your mind was an advanced mind, sir. You know, I've always been this way because again, I grew up in a sex positive home where my mom had a girlfriend and a boyfriend. So my grandfather had four girlfriends and I knew them all. I knew my cousins who I knew everyone. So my

life was just kind of different. Growing up. I never came out of the closet because why would I why would do to my mom? Was no closet. Yeah, my mom was like, be you so um it? I did now two friends? Yes, I had to say, well kind of not. I wore dresses in high school, so that's so it's yeah, if you if you grew up with me, you knew I wasn't heterosexual, like I wore dresses, I wore skirts. I would you call because back then did you call yourself by No? I just I just was.

I knew I wasn't straight. I would say I would say bisexual at the time because paying sexual was a new, a new Yeah, I like, I like, you know, I'm bisexual. Um, But if when you find yourself sleeping with more and has it changed? So this is the thing, um, and this is just about social emotional intelligence. How were we're Um, I were socialized for me to do with a male bodied person. You you're not going to be you can't be misogynistic the way you approach me is not going

to be I'm fucking you, I'm dominating you. It has to be the same way I would approach a woman. I'm gonna be gentle. So I find myself dealing with women more because dudes are not always able to be themselves. I don't deal with download dudes like I'm not You're not about to make me. We're not doing that. So a lot of dudes are in that space and they be like, nah, like what me doing. You're not gonna

take me somewhere and make me feel away. Everybody that knows me knows I'm off the chain, so we're out. You're gonna think they just think we just rain. So I'm like, I just don't like that type of energy. So I end up dealing with women more. But I'm open.

It's just about the human showing up as a human. Now, for the black men listening that are again maybe I hate to use the word confused, but in terms of sexuality or where they fall on the Kinsey scale, a lot of people feel as though women don't allow men often to come as themselves. And you say you enjoy black women, so I do. Just before we get out of here, I have to get into this conversation with you being this person from a child and knowing that

you just come as you. What has your experience been with black women regarding your sexuality and do they make you feel safe? Um? So oh wow, oh yeah, these are really good questions and so not trying to make black women a monolith, of course, but yes, I find that it is difficult not for me to say who I am, but let's say one of us we were

trying to date. You have to be able to tell your friends I'm dating the neck a Trumpeter and they're gonna look at my social media and be like this this this is who you don't know what kind of trump So they're there are different things that that goes into it. So if you're not secure as a woman to say I do like them, that's an issue. But there are women that's like that's gay and I'm like,

oh okay, and I'm like what does that mean? So you care more about who I'm being honest about who I have sex with and how I treat you as a person, because I'm like that Donalo is real, right? It is women like you're the first on my I am the first paying sexual like, that's where we're going on the first person. I was honest to you, that's

where that will hop about that. So it can be difficult for black women to accept you, and so for me dating is difficult in that sense of there are a lot of unfortunately Black women that would do everything to uphold the patriarchy and misogyny. Is it the sex work or the sexual orientation and to find more of a hindrance to dating. It's a little bit of both. But I will say this, I've been called assist in effage more for how I conduct myself and who I

have sex with. Wow, if we were like, let's say I was trying to like court one of you all, I'm probably never going to touch you. I'm not going to make any any way to be sexual with because someone to know you as a person. So one lady I was talking to we spent like two months again, and she's like, are you are you attracted to me? I was like, yeah, why why why do you think that? She's like, you should never pushed upon me. I was like, oh, so me getting to know you as a humanist is

the fact that I respect your space. I expermission to do these things to you. She's like, well, I'm used to men doing this. I'm like, oh violent, and you're consenting basically forcibly almost kind of assaulting you and you just kind of go with it. I'm like, that's not my last two men. I'm dated. I've come on this podcast and say like, why don't they want to have

sex with me? Sooner? Dada da da. And it's so crazy because the conversation I had recently was like literally like my friends and I are trying to dissect why. You know, this summer I was dating someone like how how am I not fucking him? And I remember even you were like maybe he's gay or maybe he just wants to be your friend, bro, And that was his exact answer, like I'm getting to know you, like I've sucked. Everybody's like halla fa and like of course you can

get pussy. It's like and I'm sitting here thinking almost in my brain being a sex positive person who has a podcast like this, Oh yeah, maybe he's just like the weaker one of us too, even as the woman. I feel bad to say and I admitted on this pot too, um black Jesus, like he wanted to keep hanging out with me, but we weren't having sex because you know, I was back entertaining this God damn my ex. But I was so shocked that, Okay, if we're not having sex, you still want to hang out with me.

And I think it's because of that relationship with heterosexual men yet, but the waiting when we had we fused on the first night. It was surprising to me that like we still wanted to hang we weren't having sex. This goes back to my original point. Yeah, about being seen as a human. Yeah, so even though you want it, you I know what you all look like, I know what you're accustomed to. So it's like, as a as a guy that understands themselves, we're like, we actually want

to know who you want to self control. I think that we or at least for one point for myself, I thought I didn't realize self control meant that he actually had interest. I was just like, oh, he's not that into me if he can't contain himself, do you know the more that we're into you? It is. So I went on a date today and I have been talking to this first, I'm telling my damn business kind

I decisions and I'm Polly. So all my lovers at one point will watch this, so I always have to let them know what's going on, because like, I want to tell you first. But I'm went on a date today and I've known the person for about maybe a year and a half, and every time we've met, we've been in sex positive space, we've been face we could have literally had sex right then and there never had sex. We've had great conversation, and so today I told her.

I was like, you know, I like you, should like I like you too, And I was like, well, the reason I like her more is because we've never had sex. I'm a sex worker. I'm going to have sex. I know when I'm gonna have sex and who I'm gonna be having sex with, how many times, how many scenes is gonna shoot? So I'm not worried about that. But when I can actually treat you as a human and we get to know it, sure that means actually like you.

Because if sex is the only thing you can offer me when I'm not horny, what are we doing when I'm feeling What you just said is what I've just learned the last six months of my life. I'm almost thirty two years old. I mean the keeping. I always associated men wanting me in their passion for me with sex, not that I wasn't getting I've had a lot of boyfriends and men want to court me, but it was

still associated with sex. But in this moment, like, it's crazy because I did not know that I would even say until three weeks ago, just thinking that liking me this much was because we haven't had sex yet, because now I got to push past that point of my interest is there? Because at first, when he said something like this to me, I thought, oh, so, basically, you're scared to fuck me because you're not gonna like me

after that. But it wasn't that. It was that you're so used to fucking girls by the third day or whatever, that you kind of just don't get to this point that we're at now. When the fuck are you talking about family? You know what I mean, or my goals or life shit. When our first dates drinks, the second dates drinks, and by the third one we're ready to fuck.

Like now, we're really building. And I think that men that for themselves want more because at the end of the day, most men that I've met, even my homeboys, want a wifee type of girl. At the end of the day, they want one woman that they feel more connected to rather than the eight girls are currently fucking. They just haven't met them yet, but maybe they have. They just sucked them too early, and now it kind of feels like the chase is done for me. It's

not about that. If I have interests, I have interests. But if you have a growth mindset, if you're intelligent, your body is going to change. Whatever size you are right now, we could be dating tomorrow. You can gain a one hundred pounds. So I don't like you, and the only interest I have is in your body? Why

am I wasting my time? And keep in mind too, that we're thinking our bodies are the prize, so so many times when we're online, we're posting the bikini picks and doing things like that, ready to reel them in without making sure that we've got intellectual conversation. Do you know how many women are so my home girls have made fun of me for years for things that I see now our soft girl life and like a trend

on Twitter. I've had people say that I was what is it when you're like trying to like not the male gaze but it's like there's a turn people have been using about like trying to basically you're talking for the guys. What is that one? Oh? Not man's playing pick me? You're a pick me because I would say things about cooking or doing little things, and I would be really confused about to pick me comment. But it's because it wasn't cool to be softer or to like

show men that attitude. And maybe it was like my relationship with my dad, so I haven't had to have a guard up, whereas a lot of my friends didn't have that luxury. But I do realize today that like it's just becoming up acceptable for women to be like that, and I hope what happens for men is that men that do want those deeper connections with women, they take

that approach. Hey, maybe even when she's asking for dick, let me hold it back a little bit because I can see something with this girl which men probably aren't doing because it's it's a lot more pressure for a dude not to want to fuck you. Oh what are you gay? That's the first thing I'm thinking. So I set it on this podcast, or or you gotta outbreak, or you all answered the question that you just asked, and that has been my experience. I'm like, but if

I like you, we can chill. Even if we have sex, like you said, with black cheese, I can give you that. Well, it could be fair. There isn't unlearning unfortunately that has taken place with us. And I think I'm so grateful for this show because even the things that I experienced, I let everyone know I've only been with black men. And so my friends have said, girl, how you be fine? And how you be fining these men that be letting you do all this? And I'm like, they're probably the

same men that you do. You just don't make them feel safe. You don't allow them. They don't trust you with the things that they're really into. And a lot of black men will literally come to me. I used to Oh my god, I used to call myself the buddhahole whisper one time, like all these men like let me know the things they were into, and they were like, you're the only girl that knows this. You're the only

part of it is setting the container. And the other thing is there's language that you can use that will let men know I'm not safe here. M. Can you give some examples of what those things could be just before we get out of here, because any any woman listening that really maybe wanting to dive deeper into kink or let let you know men know that she's open and not judgmental. What are things that are normally said by women that make you not feel safe with their

with their views on sexuality? Some of them? So I'll give you some actions. So um, I'll say, hey, you know, Wheezy, today, I was really emotional and I was sad, and I just felt like I wasn't strong enough to do this if you don't stop being a punk ass, yeah, weak ass? Man up? Why are you crying things like that? So when I'm trying to show you the full breath of my humanness and you call it gay, soft, weak, punk pussy.

And it's funny that the words that we use to describe weakness are the strong strong, but we use words about women to describe weakness. So anytime that you describe me being emotional and equate that to a feminine traite, yeah, you're telling me I'm not safe to show you that I'm a human. Wow. Um, anytime we're watching TV like that fag of ass, you're like, well, anytime a dude does anything and your comment is negative about their mannerisms,

not being strong, not being masculine. If a man cries, my friend, if a man cries in front of you, the best thing you can do is hold them and say thank you, thank you for showing me that side of you. You're not safe. That would make make a person feel right now, we were on a date and you just burst out in tears. If we don't know it's that way, you may think I'm gonna judge you. But if I show you I'm here with you and I'm just gonna hold space, people like, but damn, I

can be myself in front of them. They're not gonna act weird. Do you think if people, specifically women aren't using terms like the F word or like calling someone a bitch or a punk, and they say things like I want a man who's gonna be this, this, that, and they're like trying to maybe show you how they or they'll even say they want someone masculine. I think that's the same thing. It is the same thing, yeah, because I've seen that a lot too, where girls are

overdoing this manly man they want. It's like, girl, my friend, my best friend. He know how to hang shit up on the walls, So my friend does that often. She'll go out with with guys a lot, and the first thing she tells me is, girl, I think I don't think he's all the way straight. And I'd be like, well why, and she would just be like his manner. It would like even if they're not, even if they're not, if they treat you, Brianna said, it makes me feel

like I'm the only girl in the world. If somebody does that to you and they're honest about who they are, why do you care? What is keeping you from being happy? So if we're so, if let's say even I'm Polly, I can enter into anogamus relationship. So yeah, I'm paying sexual bless say I'm dating Mandy and she's like, I'm a monogamous don't ain't nobody else? So we're monogamous. That means I'm no longer having sex with a dude. There's no competition. It's a shoe, So then what is your issue?

I actually think though what you're saying, Polly, for me, most people are not able to make you feel like the only girl in the world. I have a very close friend who's in a Polly relationship where they feel like that person is fluctuating so much on the Kis scale that they're not being catered to. It. It's like, hey, one day, my partner just may want a woman more and may want a man more, and it's like I get left out. And I've had the experience that with Polly.

A lot of people don't know how to manage that. I think you're speaking from a place of maturity and experience. And I don't know how long you've been Polly, but just your age alone shows me what's the difference between me and Polly having multiple friends a lot. So this is my question. Do you do you love your your platonic friends? Yes? Do you hang out with your platonic friends? Not as much as my partner? Okay, well that's your own personal boundary. It's not a personal boundary I have

the I don't have time to sexually. I would say, like please or even gratify all twenty of my friends right like, But but that's not the basis of almost any serious relationship. It's not just sex. But I'm saying just that a lot. But I'm just saying but the main difference between my platonic friends. I don't fuck them, yes, but you have the capacity to love them though, right, I do. But I can't eat and show up for

some of them motherfuckers all the time. Think about how hard it is to catch up with a friend for lunch. But that's fine though. So in my life because of what I do for work, I'm literally I'm not gonna be home. I'm traveling now. I'll probably be home fifteen days this month, and then I'm gonna be out. So even if we lived together, I still need time alone. It's not about another person. Sometimes we're so jealous of somebody's time. It's like, what are you doing with your time?

That this wasn't this was? Actually sometimes it's been monogamous. I don't necessarily think that that's the case. I'm not a jealous person, but I also and I need more accessibility to time. I would say then I could share with if you had four girlfriends. But even if I was monogamous, so well, for me, I picked partners based on certain things. Even if for a monogamous you have to understand one of my time, my own, I can

give you forty percent of it. I still have to work, right, you still got a life, of course, so I'll side of us, ree, lady, we still have lives. So if your life is not busy and full, it's gonna be hard for us to deal with each other because even if it's not another person, I gotta practice, I gotta train, I gotta travel. Honestly, it's life is life, and for me, I'm almost too busy to date some one. Pot amiss.

Right now I'm dating someone on a different coast and we're like matching calendars to figure out what time works between whose work. How the fuck he have time for it I'm doing. I'm doing a Granted, if there was another person near by him to maybe fill up the days, sure, but I'll tell you right now that if I was coming to LA for forty eight hours and he had a date tomorrow, that wouldn't be a But that's the boundary you walk in. You can outside of sexual this conversation.

I feel like then my last relationship was a poly relationship, and he had a problem with all of my partners. And when I say partners, I still gave a lot of time to my friends. So every Sunday I'm at a scient's watching this, I'm flying to Atlanta for Crystal, especially when she was going she was going through Keimo at one point, and I was making sure I got to go to Atlanta for this Medina comes up where I fly to support her like And that was one

actually question that he had. He felt like confused as to how I could show up for all these other people, and I had to let him know, these people are in my life. You have to accept the time that I give them. I will give you the time that I can give you. But these people, even though we're in a relationship, that doesn't change. And the fact that a lot of them don't live here was one thing. He got a lot of my time. But we even argued sometimes because I always make time for my friends.

So I would invite him out a lot of times, and I'd be with my friends because I still have to give them time and love and be attentive to their needs the same way I am for yours. So you actually explaining this makes me feel like going into my next relationship. Not to say that Polly always has to be sexual. I remember we had King nore On here and he talked about like, well, I'm not gonna like everything you like, so I have tout space for you to be able to do other things with other people.

That you are very two different daters than I am, and there's nothing wrong with either. I expect when my friends get in a relationship, they have less time for me, and I have no issue with that, but not a fucking problem. But my end goal is children. So when I find a partner that I'm interested in and I'm seeing it go there, when I have kids, I'm really not going to be spread And like, being a mom

is something I wanted before any other career passion. So when I'm starting to court and date a partner that i'm that I'm falling for, those relationships do dwindle. I make time for them, don't get me wrong, but like I ain't gonna be you just said every Sunday with a Sunday right, I have a homegirl every Friday I'm out to dinner with. That was just our thing in La. That's actually gone now because the dude that I'm dating is free now on these weekends right whereas the weeks

are busy. So she expects that to be one because I need to know you're that for the future. I want I don't disagree with that, but I will say this. The reason why I invest time in the people that I love, regardless of our type of relationship, is if my partner dies, if my partner I break up, you have to hold space for the people that you just agreed because a lot of people let their friends go,

which is really fucked out a lot of you. But I definitely prioritize like my parents, if you won't let your friends go for your relationship and your own person's success, don't do it for a person. So if you're not willing to give up time for your own success, I put time into practice in trump because I want to be successful. So that's my first relationship to self. If I can't give me that, I don't have time for

nobody else but for me. And I think the happy medium is like what y'll both do, including the trumpet with them, I try to and then you letting him come out with friends, if you don't integrate your partner with your friendships, if you're actually going to give that much time, because this is one thing, I left it

up to him because I'm not gonna lie. I'm a person I don't want to be involved with any of my friends in the partners, I don't want that person to be my friend, so I always let it up to him, Hey, if you want to see me, I'm out with this person right now. But I never like bombarded him with hanging with my friends. But if he wanted to see me, just know I'm showing up for someone else right now. You're more than welcome to join us.

But that's really that's healthy. That's that's what I did with him, because it wasn't like I'm going to invite people out. I'm out. If you really want to see me, come join. But I also want to say I don't mean giving a partner like five days a week of my time. That's something I actually can't just afford to

give right now. But if I really do have, like right now, I'm here in New York for five days, if I was seeing someone for five days in New York as many friends as I need to see, if I was dating someone, I might have to catch those home girls on the next trip to prioritize the relationship. That again, I have an end goal with a relationship for me right now, like motherhood, I'm thirty two years old.

As Mandy just told me a few hours ago. I'm thirty one for another three weeks, but like, no, like my clock is tick and so it's like I'm a lot more intentional. And my bitch has been my bitches for everyo. Like we've been in the clothes forever. We even on trips forever. I much like you. We internationally

trip with our friends, you know what I mean. And sometimes I have those waves with them that I appreciate that they understand too, because I kind of need that right now, you know what I mean, Like when I have more free time and I'm single as shit. Hell yeah, bitch, you got me in Italy for four weeks so we could trick off on a boat. But I do think in this minute now, we was just talking about you.

Oh yeah, because we've about to go. We're talking about making time for friends except for you, and I said that Sundays would be every Sunday. We're about to go get drinks. Anyway, this is this is my friend and my my ex was jealous of in my Polly relationships. I didn't know I was Polly until now, but I'm Polly with my friendships and it's crazy because I love them and I let them know my friend got a family tree. Oh yeah, my friends come before my partners.

My career comes before my partners. And that is something that they have to accept when they come into my life. And I tell people the same thing because it love. Don't pay bills. It showed up. Listen, I tell my partners, listen, if I have to work, the one thing I don't want, you don't don't complain about me working. You can complaining about me not given, not being intentive, not being intentional. A lot of things I have to work. I have goals.

My life. Goals are more because my life goes more important. Videos you put out some cats in my life goes a very important. I love that it affords me the luxury and the things that I do enjoy. I love that. I love that. Well for anyone listening, for anyone who enjoyed you. By the way, the conversation today, great, hope

that you guys took a lot from it. They were like, y'all could have talked way more about For those that want to support you, follow you on only fans or support any of your links, where can they where can they follow in support? So it's naked? Trumpeter on Twitter Instagram and fed life. For only fans, It's Naked Trumpeter xxx and Black on Black Love xxx kind of the way all of those will be in the description of

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