Ep 304: Sh*ts & Moans! You Don't Sh*t & Moan?

to come over. It's our first London show in our first you know, we did go to Toronto, but does that count as international? Oh we did Mexico too, but you know, this is our first time really crossing the water. You know, say we was giving North America. Um. So we're super hype. And also, to be quite honest with you, we are putting so much effort into making sure that you guys have the experience of the live shows we've been giving over the years, So this is very special

for us. We're bringing Vinnie, We're bringing some special gas. We gotta go Olani there, So it is gonna be an amazing time. Tickets, um, I think are like twenty two British pounds, which is giving weird on sale. And I'm like, but these shot, y'all go to swassa dot shoots dot com and get your tickets now. Now we're gonna get all the motherfucker's shop. All right, Welcome guys to another episode of Horrid Blade. This is the owns and Babe, Oh, y'all would think I was sucking dick

the way ass down, but I wasn't. My goodness, it's you know, it's just the weather change. Uh being in North Carolina this weekend and then coming back and witch, I was in the mountains. So then like, I came back and then I went to Amazon dinner. I think I stole so it might be the feathers. So I stole all of the centerpieces at this goddamn event. And since Monday night, don't up. I'm bitch. I'm I am. And if y'all invite me to a Keith Snana bitch to a birthday party, what the hell is a keen

Sanara Sano? If y'all invite me today, If y'all invite me to a when in a divorce party. Anything with flowers, bitch, I'm gonna make sure that that expense goes to good youth, and I take one home with me play, I mean, I want. I think. The worst thing I've ever seen is when niggas stole flowers out my grandmother's funeral. That was awful. I was like, Okay, well yeah, but also, I say funeral, but are they just gonna die? Well they did. Black people don't leave. So you know what

was the crazier part about it? Shout out to James. It was his girl's birthday and my ex it was old day, sent me flowers for the funeral and I said, you can take them. I knows your girl birthday and he was like okay. And I was like, if she ever found out that themes were like dead grandma flowers, that's kind of nuts. So here's my problems. So here's my problem. The funeral flowers. Funeral arrangement flowers look like dead people flowers, Like they don't even be looking good.

Like I don't like funeral arrangements. I like bouquet like wedding arrangements or celebration arrangements. Dead arrangements just be giving. You keep it up, take them with you. They don't like because they're not supposed to get you excited. Actually, if anyone has ever shot for funeral flowers, because of course we have make fun of dead ship because when we're in pain. Hello, you have too hell guys, like, how many white flowers? Isn't this like wedding flowers? Like?

How is death and wedding the same arrangement? It's weird? No um. And for those of you looking to get your partner flowers for Balantine's Day, don't make them, bitches look like funeral arrangement flowers because they will get rown in the garbage. Hence Valentine state for me, do not do it. A very um firm believer in getting flowers on the side of the road to support a small business. It's normally let me know, maybe they don't speak no Englow,

but hey, not no inglo. You are technically not no Inglo. I'm not trying to meet rude. I'm just saying, let's be honest, because sometimes I'll be like, okay, okay, yes, wait wait wait wait you add the accent when you talk to people that you know are from a different country. Do you know what this is? Called It's not me trying to be a cunt. It's called accent matching. That is, this is a real thing. That is not a thing.

Yes it is. I went to some speech I know, I dropped out of college, but when I was there, there was a speech pathology class and they talked about accent matching. And I did it on sex Cells in an episode where I got my pussy wax and it was by this lady who's in Pakistan, and I fucking did it. And I was like, bitch, and there's no going back because it's on TV. Well you could have and I'm like, how are you making the you know

what I mean? So this is the problem, right if we had white people come in and start being like, yes, bitch, I let issue, we would feel offended that they talked to It's like when you hop into uber, they see your black that's not acting. If somebody talking men as

you're saying that. I thought about that, but I was like, technically, when I'm talking to someone, let's say they have a super deep Southern accent or they're from like Louisiana or Texas, I don't start saying like hey baby, because they're like trifling That's why it's okay you could be racist. Okay, fine, if you want to just call me a racist, damn thank god, you know what. We're trying to sell tickets in the UK. Anyway, I'll work. I'll start my apology

to when we get back to the stage. Oh my goodness. I did want to start off with a catch up because we are recording this. This is like an updated, up to date episode and with Valentine's Day coming up, I'm single, yes again and for good however, her I'm realizing, not only with the holiday coming up, but like, I have some niggas like I'm talking to but I know I don't want to be with but I don't know how to tell them. I want intimacy because I know

intimacy is intimate or what ever. You ain't supposed to really be intimate with just everybody. But I'm like, how do I tell this nigga? Yes, I don't want your big old dick inside of me, but I also want to cuddle and I want to be intimate, but I don't want to date you. So I need like, oh, you have to do the same thing I used to do to the London hotel guy, like I'm like, I would be like, come over and be my boyfriend for the night, and I would like tell him exactly what

I wanted. I'd like literally laid the rules out. Would you be with you? Come over? Would you be with London guy? Though, um, he's rich enough, but no, but like basically we're we're I'm just like not that like are like are we like? The sex is really good, but um, you know, I'm just not that into him. But like I think when he and I said to him, I said, I want you to come over. I want us to fight about where we're gonna watch. I want

us to have to order food. I want us to suck once and I wear my big T shirt and you gotta slide it in again. I'm like, oh my god, stopped now I'm tired, but I'd let you get it. That's boyfriend ship. So basically I want a boyfriend experience, but I don't want to pay for it. So you just have to tell them what you want and honestly, like what want to like given a niggas don't want to rush out of there. I mean there's two men in each studio, I mean a man and needs you

studios and maybe they can say how they're feeling. But from what I've known, men don't necessarily want to rush out. They do enjoy eating and chilling. It's like, I think that we also have to unlearn some of that ship we think of men saying they're trying to fucking dip out when it's like some crazy ass hope you know what I'm saying, Or when we're like super young and they get cleaning, or when they're worried about a woman mistaking what they're doing and like trying to maybe they

oh my god, I don't want to lead her on. Like, no, we're in our thirties now, bro, niggas know that, Like, we can't just be fucking pumped and numped unless you're into it. I don't know if men really know that. So basically I'm gonna have to say, I want the BFE So if you're going to give me the cookie I need, it's a messy yes, b d d uh. Anyways,

what's been going on with you? Um? Okay, I had a really hot thing happened recently, So I was on a date and okay, you know when you're on a date and like, I don't actually I haven't been on a date, and all of the time I'm trying to think about to phrase this, you're leaving each other. You're not at the phase where you guys can like go to each other's house. I want to say, go to each other's house, but like you're not there yet, so um, but you're like staying, like sitting in the car, you're

like doing whatever you're talking, bitch. So I was a little drunk and I was talking about how it was horny, and I think he made a joke about like should we dip out of here right now or something? And you're like, yeah, made sorry, no, I guess you know. It was hotter than that. It was all hotter than the car. Made a joke about like should we leave right now or something, and then it was like something about time, like you know, he had a workout or whatever.

So a bit I was like, well, I'm like really really horny. He was like, I mean I want you to come, and I was like, well, I'm not getting out of the car. So I unzipped my pants, bitch, literally like unbuttoned so he could look at my tits because they're perfect. And then I'm masturbated in front of him, and he was like talking me through it, grabbing my neck, like pulling my hair through the back, kind of like little things, but like watching me. It was hot as fun.

You know, it's funny, just like a nigga had post nut clarity after it. I'm like sitting in the car with my hand like this, all right, well, thanks for dinner, nigga. I'm we I don't think I've ever done that, But you know what, if a dude jerked off in front of a woman after dinner, I feel like it would feel a little like I'm leaving. I ain't gonna yeah, yeah, I don't think men could do that, Like I don't want to. Can't just pull out his dick and be like, oh so since we can't fuck, let me get on

all right, huh, Like I'm so much? Are you playing with your pussy? Then a nigga just pulling this dick out jacking in the car after a date. He cleaned my hand off, which that was fun as well. Literally it was like it was getting glazed jon uh so how did he look up? How did he get it off girl? With his mouth? And then it was like a makeout session. And then it was like it was nasty. I mean, but you don't. When a nigga got tents, life is lit. Okay, okay, Bailey bay. I guess well,

speaking of that, we're gonna get to our vanilla ship. Hey, y'all, let's just say we should learn from different things around the world. Right, Like in school, they said that we went through evolution. They said that we was monkey at one point in time on this goddamn earth. Now what if we were a quo. So a quot actually may become endangered, but only the male species because they are mating themselves to death. Literally, a male a qual is

a rat. Yes, it's like a rat. But girl, just the niggas, I'm gonna be honest with you, get give it bird by the name. It's crazy. No, it's like

a rat. So what's crazy is Studies found that male quotes rested only about eight percent of the time the team retrieved that literally the other ninety two percent of life they spend trying to fire in females to fuck and because of the lack of sleep, it's leading them who literally die And so now they become endangered because these niggas want to spend all the time trying to

find some pussy. And I was just looking at this article and I was like, now do you know do you know how many niggas would be killed off if they spent that amount of time looking for pussy? But I know they're awesome. You know what It's like, it's like too hot to handle or no way? Is that the show where they have to they can't funk or the money goes down? And it looks like it was Why is this so hard? Why is this so hard for them not to funk? But a couple of weeks

lay on this island, bro, Bro, are you serious? Yes, they're getting wasted. They're fucking pumping these niggas with tequila. You got titties required to wear bikinis all day, Like I'm gonna sucking think I could probably suck a dick behind like i'nna like un laughing. I'm sorry, and I'm gonna be real with you. I want to interview somebody from to hand because I won't be like keep with a bug, Like, how do you fuck? I know somebody's fun without getting caught. There's no way to bro. It's

like Big Brother. There's cameras and mics everywhere you're getting caught, especially you. I guarantee you're gonna here. And they just got no bitch, you're not eating like you gotta have to take a ship. Take the mic off? No, I think they still keep the mics on when they ship. Also, I heard like they said, remember they said that you can't masturbate, and my tripiter, they say that you can't masturbate,

like I'm straining in the toilet like this. How are you gonna know if I'm first, Off, you moan when you ship, if it's a big one, not a mom like I'm like, you don't moan. No, I don't moan while I ship. That don't feel good. It's because I'm not moan. But you don't make You're not audible. You're saying I'm not audible? Why ship? Though? I don't just ship? Okay,

I don't you nasty? Okay? If I'm having a good ship in the comfort of my own home, ain't nobody home, because like I'll be having friends over a life and no one's home. Or when a Nickel leaves, Oh you know, Nina be sitting there like now she talking. Also, I hold my ship a lot out of nerves, So like if I'm winning Nigga all day and then he sleeps over, I'll be like, oh my god, dask car goes coming back down, Like I don't know what to do. That

is not allow. I mean sometimes I let out a sigh when I'm like only when I've been holding my kiss and then I piss and then it's out and I'm like like, but that's like not a how do we get here? Bro? You you gott up here? You got up here. You we were at we were talking about male and endangered species because all they want to

do is fuck, and then somehow you brought me. I don't know how we got this ship, honestly, if you think about it, Like I used to love Bonego Boys podcast and they used to always talk about how far they could go without talking about porn. I feel like I don't have a long way in any conversation where I can't go without talking about ship. Okay, but what

about sex? Sex? Always but like pitts or ship if not sex because some people I don't talk about sex with, Like for example, let's just say I'm with like somebody from my team, or like it's a work meeting, like I wan't to talk about sex, but I'll find a way to talk about shipping. It's so crazy because I was talking about the Whole Girl yesterday and they were so shocked that I did not know the sexual orientation of my employees. I literally can't tell you if they

fuck men, women or both, any of them. None of them don't know. I didn't ask. And they're like, wow, you're so like you know, what's the word progressive? And you don't know? Like mind you? They all I ain't ask pronouns. Maybe I should like be a better boss, but I ain't asked none of that. They all pronouns like I didn't even ask them their pronouns. Oh you

didn't ask, did you? Did you ask? Very well, we're a small business, um, there's room for funk ups, and I feel like, you know, you ever hear crazy stories when people work for a startup. I'll just be like, I'm not that bad. Yeah, I agree, I agree, I agree. Get paid on Fridays, Like what else you can we do for you? Don't slip a fall? You're right? Okay, no, no,

no, no no, no, you're right, you're right. Well, yeah, I found out one of my um in w t F New York I found out about somebody dating women literally while recording horrible decisions, and I remember I kept looking across at her, like no, but we looked at her. We said she looked less like lesbians, and I felt bad because I was joking. And then you're like, yeah, I do less than to be having a look child like you delive, you know, but you also look like lesbian.

But you also looked like you said, dick, So it's giving you look by I look fun is saying he look like you never say no you want my wife with her? Would you say, though, like do you have a hard no? Like? Is it fat guys? Is it short? Women? Is it's all like do you have a hard Note that it doesn't matter even if they are pretty in the face or got a big old dick that you would just say no to. You know. I like personality, and sometimes that gets me a little too far. I'm like, Wow,

this guy is great. Now should we not eat anywhere in the vicinity where I could run into someone I know? Maybe like it's like the secret sex episode of Sex

in the City. But honestly, here's the thing about me too, I'm very like I could be shallow, how like when I watched that movie as a kid, I remember having like a conversation or maybe hearing my mom talked about how like she wouldn't want to date someone that other people were judging like that, and I remember being like, I don't care, but if I'm happy with someone, like if I'm marry a nigger with one eye on one leg, and people be all over redd and Twitter or Instagram

be like, how to you end up with that nigg because he funny as hell? So one eye, one leg, Yeah, you'll do that. I just don't like and I'm locked in and you win me over. I don't see anything else that's real sweet, and so I get for I'm fortunate enough to have attractive people, but like, damn, I really don't. I don't know that is really because it's

giving charity. Maybe social media has changed my brain to like with vanity, like you meet so many beautiful people that are ugly inside, and uh really no, plus, ugly people make you kids, and you know I want to get pregnant. Oh God, Okay, now we're gonna move on to the next topic there because you stay play that ship. We're gonna get into our horder next. And this one I found when I was going through y'all, don't even ask me about the rabbit holes I've been falling into lately,

literally rabbit holes because are you into animal play? Well, I've got to stay mushrooms, don't we guys? For god, I don't even know how I came across it, but wants to make it harder and bigger. This is for you guys with cocks. That's right, we're talking about cock rings. Okay, However, not just any rings. There is a natural goats eye cock ring that is out and holds the lashes of a goat for extra sensation. The soft hair lining of the ring provides stimulation that will tickle your woman's clip

in boba. So thrust your boner hard and bury it deep to her pleasure whole. The hair used to make the rings are natural sheep eyelashes, um, and so that it does it actually does look realistic, um of course this honestly, it's giving what is it giving? Indian tribal like I saw this ship and like. However, for your animal role play, don't forget their accessories to complete the look. There are animal ears and of course tails. So if

you want to really get into the animal spirit. Uh, you know that there's butt plugs with tails, they have fox tails, they have buddy tails, they have horse tails. And then of course there's a ton of different ears that you can also wear. Goat lashes is wildest buck and it's damn near feels as bad as wearing like I don't know Canada goose, Like, goddamn, you don't want tickled by some lashes? No? Okay, but what not a

goat one? It's even be sality yo, And you know where this just made me think of did you watch the Pam Anderson documentary yet? No? I have it. We gotta do a cinema on it. But in that documentary she talks about how like she's like everybody was calling me on horror and fucking talking about my body and I slat this and that. So I just used my body to prom Peter and a good cause. And I'm like, now I feel like Pam Anderson over here, like I'm gonna eat meat, but like, damn, I don't want to

wear your lash. But have you ever used lamb skin condoms? Only maybe once or twice with someone so that you absolutely could use a sheep goat lash cockring just once or twice. Mary had a little lamb, not a baby, and I, uh, that is not my problem. They got a lot of lamps. It's the way I tear up some lamb chops. I'd be said. I was gonna say, he's in the same skin of the ship were eating tonight because baby bamby a lamb bamby a lamb. Right, there's a deer. Do we eat deer? Or would you

say a fawn? What's the faun? Well, anyway, it's a baby deer, bitch, i'd be fawn f a w n. I've never seen that word. I'm gonna learn this word from scrabbles, A young deer word. You know, it's giving dropped out of college but red. But a young deer is giving uh bamby And that's it. That's where we keep it um. But yeah, I found this and I

thought it was really interesting. Kept looking like deeper into where the funk this came from, and it was actually one of the first ways that cock rings were created back in the old taste. And so I guess you know, they have to find ways to write. They did to keep it big and keep it hard too, and somehow someone said, let me try and goat lash. I do not know how this like. Literally they use the eyelids and all from I mean to say, you know, hey,

listen what they used the eyelids as well. The eyelids were bro I swear to god, I'm not you want me to send it to you, y'all. No, I don't look up the first cock I'd like to keep my dinner in my stomach. And they absolutely used the eyelids and eyelashes from goats. Ships crazy on this ship is crazy. Shit is crazy. I'm about to go ship and moan after hearing this. Okay, so you can talk about how you how you literally you have us thinking of what you look is sound like while you're taking a big

ass ship. But I can't say, here, give some history on cock rings. Put the niggas. I'm telling you right now, there's more people that have a fetish of me taking a ship and moaning than there is when I wanted to fuck a goat. I whoa, whoa. Now now you just took it to be reality and they're just using all the parts of an animal. Why why let any go to waste? That's all I'm saying. I didn't want to know before we get there, But you do you have any sex tips or any sex toys that you've

come across recently that have added some sensation to the bedroom? No, um, mainly besides my masturbation in the car thing that that to me, it was just I'm just trying to find a lot of ways to experience sexual like exploration with

people that don't necessarily include penetrative sex. Like I feel like when I dated Scissors, I was so we did so much ship because we didn't have dicks, like and it's funny because like on my birthday, I think maybe some of you listeners remember we went to Paris and we had that wild time and a sauna or whatever like that was like really the only time we used like strap on type stuff but for real, for real,

like we just sucked each other every other way. And so I think with men, I don't really do that because I'm like, oh, well, you've got a thick dick. I don't know, but like now I want to like start playing around more and like having heightened levels of intimacy.

So it's just like finding ways to come have pleasure or whatever without necessarily were about to get weazy coming in here, say is she wrote a kneecap, and why she's gonna be like, oh my god, but the bone and it just the way I rubbed my pussy, bro the way you're about to come in here, just talking about you rubbed your pussy on some random part of somebody's body and be like, I ran it. I rubbed it so hard his femer popped out and I was like, put it back in. What the motherfucker? Oh my god?

All right, well, let's get into the horrible decision. I found a lot of current topics, um, all involving women pretty much taking action um in different ways, so to speak. So the first one we actually spoke about this maybe like two years ago. We had an add from some company in Europe that was selling panties and ship well basically, Loto has now auctioned off her panties after the Internet noticed she was wearing the same preta Cheetah prints panties

in multiple pictures. So someone was like, well, damn, if you're gonna keep showing your panties, you should pick a different pair. She later went to show her drawer of all these same panties, but then said that she would be auctioning them off after wearing them. Her current bid after one hundred and five bids is it ninety five

thousand dollars six hundred nineties five thousand, six hundred. And I'm just like, when I saw the way people were talking about those panties, Like, honestly, I thought that was so strange because it's like she's trying to prove that she has more of the same kind of panties, and I'm like, they just wash them, Like why why can't say panties? Bro? It was so weird. And then people were like, she's disgusting, and I'm like, what do you do?

Have you ever wanted pair of underwear? Twice? This is what I've been talking about the Internet, say Internet, because I'm like, hello, it's called a washer and a dryer, and where some of us, especially those in New York, don't even have the privilege of havywood in your own home. The fact that y'all see here called this girl out but where Cheeta pri panties more than once is nuts. But I'm glad that she can. I'm gonna tell you this, though, I am a washer panties in the I think I

got it. From one of my like Latino home girls, I'm I'm gonna wash your panties and the like. But honestly, I've had the you know, pleasure of living alone for a while, so that's why. But when I had a roommate or I live with a nigga, I don't really do it too often. But like, I like to wash my panties. I only have two types of panties. I have dressed panties, um like panties for if I'm wearing something really short and period panties. Other than that, this

couch be breathing, bitch, this couch be out. I ain't playing no pants. I mean, you don't have underwear on right now? Okay, so yeah, let me tell the world. I'm bleeding right now, so I have underwear on now. But otherwise, no, bitch, I only wear panties when I bleed it or if I have like a short dress on. Otherwise no, this pussy breathe I've been saying, even like no it, jeez, I like the little freation. Sometimes I do not wear panties. I hate it, Like literally, I've

tried to wear panties at mid day. I'm like, man, this ship aggravated, so I'll go to the bathroom, take the bitches off it, put them in my purse, or throw them away, Like I get uncomfortable if I'm not wearing panties. I'm not to say something really gross though, Okay, I've been one of the gym a lot, uh, and I bought so many workout clothes and I'm actually getting to the point now where like so I used to be able to wear something twice in a row if

I didn't get too sweaty. But because I'm washing every single time because I'm like shower and I mean, I'm sweating so much, right, I've been like, well, what's the point wearing draws? So I don't really wear underwear to the gym, mainly because like that makes sense. You panties are already Huh. Did you wear a spandex anyway? Like legos? Right, But it's kind of nasty because it's like this is a breathable fabric, like your pussy's out there if you don't wear underwear to the gym, But um, yeah I

don't anymore. Well, plus it looks better. It makes me. I'll let you know what I wear when I start going to the gym as of right now, I's giving no panties for that weight. You were doing a running challenge, weren't you. Yeah, but that was last month. Fuck you mean girl, girl, that was last money. She said, I'm done. That was enough, bitch, that's twelve three thirty. Challenge was the bullshit. Okay, that's easy. It wasn't for the faith and bitch um the fate. So uh yeah, I did

it for a couple of days. I had like a week and a half and it was like, well this was cute. Uh. Girls started following all these surgery pages. Let me just go to easy round this bullshit girl, Hey, bro on some real ship though. I have ran into a girl recently, um that I had seen who had surgery this summer and she looked phenomenal and I was like, I didn't say she looked bad, but I mean it was like a week ago I start and I was like hey boo, and I must have looked at her

in a way and she was like I know. She was like I didn't keep it up, and I was like, she was like you like six months later, Mandy, she said that she wasn't getting the massages she had on the crop top. She wasn't getting the massages, and she was like, we're really like, I wasn't moving my body. She's like, I was working so hard working out and then I had a really hard recovery for the surgery, and it was just like working out was just a

big that it was too much work. But even you have some of the massages, you have to wear your like like the whatever the fives and ship like people just people do not consider what post opcare looks like for a lot of them. I felt so bad for her. You spend all that money, you take all the time off of work, you fly to another place to get it done. I mean, like that's effort. And then she's just like, bro, I never kept it up, and I'm like the money to get it to get it again.

She all right for a second round after six months, bitch you out. Baron's like, y'all, betta give me a discount. At this point, nobody sent me home on a paper telling me what to do. Oh, but they do. Hey, bitch's on the internet. Bitch they do. Okay, anybody trying to hear that. Um. The next woman who took charge, uh, she took charge of her career after being fired over racy picks online. So Melissa Williams who is a cop? Um? Oh, I believe this is Melissa Williams. Site hold on, why

should say cop? Who is a hop girl? So this cop ended up being relieved of her duties um over these photos online. So a Colorado police who allegedly lost her job due to her only fans side hustle actually now earns five figures per month from her d I y porn profession. The former a rapper, which is crazy that it's called rapper. That's the that's the county that she got fired. Bitch, there is ho in New Mexico.

The Colorado, Colorado so guy has definitely given tribe. But Arapaho Sheriff's County police officer asserts that she now earns twenty seven thousand dollars a month from the sales pictures on the adult entertainment website only fans and bit you look you see her and the bitch Now I got the butter fucking cop uniforms. And she got from Party City posing on a bed. She's party City. Look you

don't look at it, girl. She was career for eighteen months, so she actually had her her only Fans page for about a year and a half before her boss found out about it, and they shortly after let her go with you, I mean, do I think like this, Wow, her fake citties is crazy? That's a surprise. I think.

The saddest part about all of it not to get like crazy deep, but is that, like somebody that works as a police officer gets paid that little to do a job that big, which is why we have so many people that are unqualified, you know what I mean, for a job like that. It's like the fact that I have to work a job that could literally like I'm risking my life for it and I have to have an only fans is so wild, you know what I'm saying. Like teachers, cops, nurses, all this ship, Like

how are people getting paid the bare minimum? Hence why all of them have a fucking Napoleon complex and they're like, oh my god, I've got to be bigger and battery than you think I am because I'm not doing as well as I am. Like for real, I don't think anybody looks at cops and be like, wow, I wish I could be unless you're like five Sorry, um, I

actually sorry, This to me is actually surprising. So there was the other cop down in Memphis who like fucked half of the police department and she also got fired. But here's the thing. Oh yeah, cop uniforms are literally used for strippers. I do know that. You know, I ain't gonna get all blue lives in here, but cop uniforms is sexy. I like uniforms. So their uniform is already getting No, no, no, it's not doing that. This is not the time, not in these times right now.

Uniform gives sex work. Like when I get married. You know what I'm saying, Like one, I want the fucking cop fireman like I want the cheesy ship and I want coming there with the wayst someone. And then guess what I found out. So firemen don't even get to take their uniforms home because of all the chemicals and things. When they really go in to say people that I didn't know, I didn't know, so here I go like

it or whatever. When they watched their clothes at the understand they're not even and I'm like, bit's the way. I'm like, so we gotta go to party City or Amazon to get you a fireman outfit. If I'm never gonna be able to see you motherfucking dance like put out my fire baby, I want, I swear to God, that's what I want. I'm a role play. We want to be taking with it up. I don't know, I made it up. I made it up. I decided to this year, y'all, I am going to be a one

hit wonder and I'm ready for it. Okay, um, and so what's your one hit me? I don't know, but in my video, it's gonna have motherfucking firemen and police officers, Gyrat and the hips. Maybe show live. I'm gonna put it right behind me. Girade ain't gonna be gyrating their hips? Maybe? Yes, yes, ma'am. Hold on, can we just talk about since I'm current events, let me just tell you guys about the best television I've watched. Okay, Now, first off, I work for a

film and TV company. I've been going to premieres and doing all this ship and no shade to Kenya Barris, but ninety fiance, boy, that nigga missing out. I'm telling you right now, I don't know how he can help TLC. But boy, them niggas have the best season coming they've ever had. And I need a fiance the other way. Right now, they have a white woman from Haleyville, Alabama that has a goddamn town of three thousand people meeting a woman who's Venezuelan in Colombia that never met, but

they're getting married right after they meet. She's moving there. Then they got a white woman moving to India. Again. Girl, it's the whole thing. But here's really what's exciting about it for me. After the night Dave Fiance premier is a new show called Mills Manner, and I thought that, I thought that it's problematic. It is, so I was like, yeah,

I want to put her foot in my mouth. I want to suck it to boycott Why because if it were the other way around, and it was a whole bunch of dads and all their daughters are lined up. There was one snippet that the women are blindfolded and rubbing up and down of the suns. Bitch, this would not be allowed if it was the other way around. And well, you know what many you got boycott it.

And I'm gonna tell you right now, I'm calling Charlotte Mage myself and I'm saying, cut the contract, this bitch stopped the one good thing in my life, and it's TLC. I'm tired of boycott bit o, boycotting that ship. We are here seeing here saying we want uh equal opportunities this ship, and then we just sitting here allowing these

women to rub up on their suns like that. Listen ten years from now, if someone's gonna play this clip and be like, oh my god, we you know here you are fighting for rights and blah blah blah blah blah and sexuality and all this ship. But you know, we see this clip of you talking about mothers, and so I like, yeah, I know what I said, and what I would like to tell you is now that I am a mother, would I go on the show? No. I also would not be the eight sister wife on

the A and E network. I also would not be on thousand Pounds Sisters. I would watch it. This is America, and I'm gonna put on whatever channel I want to. Yeah, alright, I'm sure this was also R. Kelly's argument. Well, he said, well, this is what I like to my spare time. No one told you, guys to judge um the last one. Um, this this was a little extreme, guys, A woman was arrested for attempted murder after allegedly stabbing her boyfriend for

urinating in their herbit. I saw that is nuts. The victim reportedly told detectives that he was sleeping when his girlfriend angrily woke him up and begin did him for wedding the bed. Uh, now you remember when I pissed at that niggas bad? That's the funny bar. This is crazy. I don't like. Also, you could just buy a new mattress or you can clean it like. I don't think it's worth going to jail over a nick a piston

in the bad boat. No, I'm not saying Wives with Knives is a show that I can tell, but here's what I will, so we go. It wasn't just for example, I dated a terrible ask Nicke and I didn't know how bad he was until the hint so after he decided to fund the whole world. If I were woken up and seeing p in the bed, my bed in the Lower East Side, not even at his house, but I might kill him. You're not killing him for the p You're killing him for the other ship. So you

think we got you you like? This wasn't even about to be. It's about this was the last motherfucker's strong. Oh yeah, I just some dirty ass, dusty niggas. He's even sucking all these other holes and he's just like, I can't even look at you. And then you wake up and you feel moisture. You know what, it's given, It's given. She went through this, she went through this

nigga phone. It realized he was out here giving golden showers to his side bitch, and the p triggered her to remember the text of him saying, baby pissed on me tonight, and she many, are you okay, No, I'm sitting here, created logical explation. She got triggered by it, are not. Yes, that's what happened, bitch, That's what happened. Show did. We haven't had homails in a while, so I'm excited to get to our homemail this week. It is from a man. And y'all, these niggas just don't

be knowing what the funk they want. And when I tell you at all, every time, they do not be known because they get it. It's still ten years. But I met somebody from work and okay, well very close but not really so. And this is how you noticed Nigga is fed up, y'all. The title of this is hormeil or whatever you want to call it. This thing a man, he said, Here we go. So me and my wife have been married for two years going on three. We have known each other for a long time, but

started messing around about four years ago. We freaks, well, we were dating. We talked about freaky experiences. Then we tried a few threesomes here and there. I knew she liked women because I knew she used to date women before me. Yes, I'm a man and our sex is good. She expressed to me that she wants a girlfriend, and I agreed. Here we go. He does this a lot, y'all. He says, having a woman who likes women is the ship. Right. Well, here we go. We are married now. So like a

month ago, she met a lady. She had been knowing this lady for a while, but never sexual interaction. They started talking online and then the chick started coming over. Now I have two sexy ladies. I'm the man, right, Well, I have a little boy. Man, I have a little problem. We were all sitting in the living room and my wife and the new chick were cuddled up on the couch. They started kissing and it led to them fucking each other again. I'm the man, right, I'm looking at two

sexy women. Go at it well, don't think too fast. I have a major problem. I looked at my wife and how she looked at this other chick. She behaved in a way I have never seen her behave before. The way she looked at this female. She looked at her like she could devour her. She was dominant, and here lies the problem. I have been trying to get my wife to be more aggressive with me for so long and she won't. But with this female, she took charge. She was all into her. The way she ate her

pussy was incredible. Both of them just melted in each other's arms. Yes, I'm hard as a rock, but got a little jealous. I'm like my wife likes her more than me. So now I'm confused. I'm asking myself should I have let my wife be with this lady. She is in love with her. She still fus me and all of that, but she doesn't look at me the way she looks at her. Even the way she moans when this lady is eating her pussy is different. She really loves this woman. Now it feels like I'm the

third will. She tells me that she is in love with me, but I don't think so, y'all. Help you think my wife is just using me so the world can see her with a man, or do you think she really wants a woman? And should I just walk away? Help this? This man is secure. Beach, give it to a beach and then I'm gonna go to efty. First of all, funny, we should get nineteen keys in here. God, No, you want your wife to have masculine energy at you. It's giving beta. Let me stop. No, Um, I'm gonna

say this. First of all, you're so in your head. It's actually annoying to hear. But I don't want to shoot on you because I understand it takes a lot to write into a show. But here's what I'm thinking in my brain initially hearing you read this whole thing one. Anytime someone sucks someone that's new, they're fucking ravaging them. It's exciting, it's shiny, it's whatever you have the I

will almost called you blessed. You have the pleasure of having two women, one that you love and that you may end up with for the rest of your life. Who's cool enough with you geting some new pussy and you're bad about her being more aggressive than with you. Instead of you feeling like you have this terrible thing going on, you should be taking so much more joy and being able to be the masculine energy between two women.

And it is a lot easier for women to get quote unquote more dominant with each other because it feels the level playing field. Generally, men are bigger than us, stronger, whether it be wait height, whatever, so we feel more damsel in distress and also like activating that energy because

it makes us feel sexier. So instead of acting like a bitch, maybe you should take charge in that threesome and then try to make it fun and be like, Okay, if I do this, if I domb you guys up in x y Z, I want you to do the same. That's the thing. They're making it sound that they are just going to drive her. Well. They said that they had threesomes before this One particularly says that she asked

for a girlfriend. He didn't really say that she wanted a girl for us, So it seems like this is her girlfriend and she has sex with this woman and she has sex with him. It doesn't seem like they've all had sex together, which is why he's so jealous because he's watching them have sex. It doesn't seem like he's able to even join because he said he sat

there and got jealous she asked for a girl. Um, so I think that he's it's it's pie do now I need to follow up because you know, I'm not eating pussy in front of anybody that can't at some point join it. Maybe not, Maybe this is like a fantasy in the moment where I'm just eating pussy, but like you telling me you never gonna get it out, I don't know, Like I know, like that used to be a thing for me and my ex when we went to sex clubs, like women that I played with

or eight pussy and fucked. He never he didn't necessarily always have to deal with them or penetrate them or be with them either. And so where I know I like women, there there have been women that I just

kind of want to fuck without him. And I did have a friend that I didn't tell him that I went over a house we had sex, and uh, he realized that even in being around her that I wanted to have sex with just her and not include him, And so we did have to have a conversation about that, because just because I like women and just because I want a girl around doesn't mean I necessarily want the man around. But here's the thing, though, you're talking about

two different things. You're talking about someone that may be feeling jealousy because they're feeling left out, versus someone talking about jealousy from dominance. Well, he feels like he's being left out too, because the way that she looks at this girl is different, the sound she makes is different.

It's so funny because uh I I and I said a joking and I let King no. But when my partner would like penetrate me with the dildo with kings dildo, like I would make different noises and a part of it would even be jealous of my dildo sometimes, like you don't make that noise when I'm inside you? What

the hell? And so there are I don't know. See this is the other thing too, write It's like at some point you're either open and including people into ship or you're not, like people are going to experience without you. If you're in an open or polyamorous situation, right, So I don't open the door if I can't fully walk in the door if I'm half one foot in, or like, oh, I'm allowed to do this, but not too much because then it'll make you feel away like I don't know.

I kind of don't like that. And I only say that because I think that people have a very false sense of being liberal in their relationships. They do when they're really not. They do, y'all some conservative Republicans in real life. Uh, y'all, imagine how that must feel on the other end if you're the woman listening to this, Not to like make her the victim out of it,

but it's like you told me everything was okay. Now I'm sitting here trying to be sexy and fun and enjoy this ship, and in the back end you're like, oh, just go be with her, Like what the fun? What What do you think he should do in this situation? Does he tell his wife his feelings? Does he just take it in and soak it in? Does he ask if he can have a girlfriend? Actually think the solution is here, depending on their rapport. I would read this letter because part of the letter was sexy, like it

was talking about the two of them. It was kind of hot, but it also is so vulnerable that I think she'll laugh for a moment. I think she'll be like, oh my god, and know you made it made you feel that way, and it's it's also so honest that I don't think there's another way to go about it, because from the way that he wrote this letter, it sounds like he's not going to approach the situation right.

He might like tease it. It's like the type of guy to be like, oh, you want to go be with your girlfriend, go beauty, you know what I mean, Like give me that underlying like, oh, you really do have a little problem. And I don't like when people are passive aggressive. I think he should actually go full in and just be transparent. Yeah, that is interesting. Reading the letter is definitely interesting, and I definitely think something, uh that he could do. Um, I did want to maybe, Yeah,

what do you think he should do? I mean to me, I think that uh oh, and not to be too vulnerable, but in what my last relationship entailed and the level of insecurity um that my that my partner had, or just things that I literally couldn't control. It could be if if like different men I was working with, or men that like we're around and he's like, oh, like, you didn't consider my feelings when that person was around you.

And I was like, Nick, I'm gonna walk into a room and it's probably gonna be some niggas in there that want to funk, Like what the fuck? And I had to sit with the fact that there's really nothing you can do about a partner's insecurity, right, So, what do you mean, um walking around? Like, how are you supposed to make someone feel good when you're walking around? What do you mean? No? Like he like, oh, I gotta sneeze again, hold on, No, not make someone feel

good when I walk around the room. He just started feeling like I should not be around people who have either tried to holler at me or may like me or may want to suck me. And I'm like, well, they have a hole and cheat bro that Literally, I said, well, I can't control that. And so what I realized is that there was nothing that I could do to fix the insecurities and my partner, and so even if he expresses these feelings to her, there's nothing that she can

do to change him feeling this way. Literally, he he at the end of the goddamn message. He didn't even ask how do I share this with my wife? His two questions he said, should I let her be with her? Should know that's that's the one. He said. Should I just leave her and let her be with this woman? Or is she just with me so that the world can see her with a man? This is literally where his mind is now. His mind is that he's only being used as a prop or should he just leave

and let her have her? So I think the insecurities are so present and prevalent there that there's literally nothing that will resolve this unless she stops walking with this girl, Which again I felt bad hearing that, because it's just like it's his insecurity on someone's there. There's nothing you can do, you know what I mean? Like you've already like I think one of my excess you should say, the devil's mind. An idle mind is the devil's workshop.

And that's what happens when you're not communicating your feelings quickly enough. You're letting all of those insecurities building, build and build and build, until you then come up with these scenarios in your head that are probably way worse than the than the other situation. She might be like, yo, I thought you enjoyed it. That might be her fucking

short and literally might be it. But also she seems to really being enjoying it herself too, And it's really hard in relationships to deprive yourself of something just because of your partner's insecurities, because then you're gonna know what else is kind of crazy too. Think about a world where he's writing this letter in and she could be on the phone one of her own girls, like, girl, my man, lets me that be me so great, and

I've been having so much fun because he's so a girl. Yeah, he said, sure, he was saying right there and loving it. It was hot. She could anything is out here right horrible decisions about how miserable Jesus. Well, if you, if you guys have any any, any at all advice for this man, please leave it in the comments, either on Twitter, follow us at Horrible Pod, or over on Instagram at Horrible Underscore Decisions. Y'all, make sure you join our patreon.

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So if you are all caught up on our regular episodes and you want to binge and see our growth all over again, there are a whole bunch of episodes over on our Patreon, So join us at Patreon at patreon dot com Backslash Horrible Decisions again. We will be in London, London, London. I don't know what except that is, but I don't really know. She's some weird thing. Maybe because you're you're not feeling well, you're done. I don't feel well at all, Like my nose is fucking clock.

So maybe we can just sell you that Mandy sounds like shit. Literally, if I was sucking Differ right now, I would be sloping up my own snot I'm sure of it. It would be a salty as dick sluck. I'll tell you that. Oh my god, you said salty. I taste off. You taste the mucus, bitch. Anyways, y'all make sure you go to swasset dot shobes dot com and get your tickets to see us. I don't know what she said either, y'all, so just click the descriptions. That is right. S W A c e n T

dot shobes dot com. February fourteeth Balatine's Day. Check us out. It's gonna be a good ass, kicky ass time, bitch. Okay, and if y'all have anywhere, then me and Vinnie can watch the Rihanna concert on the Maybe I'd love to do that, bitch, super Bowl, you said the reality counsel. I can't say he was on anyways. Guys, thank you, thank you guys so much for tuning in to yet another episode of hory Bled. This is yours by everybody.