Ep 283: D*** Pic Phone (Ft. Akeem Woods)

a hater freaking on Flow is? I literally hit this nigga jazz bitch on Flow a ship. Let me tell you before y'all introduce yourself how much of a hate she is Because I textas nigga. I was like, I need you to come fuck this pussy, and I spelled come like see you am. I was really I said, come tear this pussy up. Do you know after I said that, neig in the more fucking text went to the bathroom and white blood, so I had to text on my back never mind enjoy your trip, he would, damn.

So he brought me back all nasty like, damn, because I ain't responding. Fifteen minutes you canceled. I said, sorry, let me just tell you I wanted to be nasty with you, and then I just wiped blood, so I had to renew that. And I said, well, when it's done, my name is Wheezy. And I would have pretended this ship never had I was like, what what came to town? You know? I was knocking the motherfuckering getting no blood on my sheet, Babe, it's just because it's big, you

knocked it on. I'm so glad I ain't tried. I'm so glad. I'm giving the giggle. I don't have a monthly thing. I just get want y'all. As we had diarrhea, I'm birthatile. I can top Oh is this is a chem woods we got in the building. It's a comedian that I talked from a really funny clip of him in the studio saying where are we at? Are they shooting'm pornt here? What's going on? I'm like, and I got mad, and I was like, oh he got of funny. So glad we follow each other. I'm glad you're finally home.

I'm glad I'm able to be here. Um. First of all, unrelated note, you just went to Italy. No no, no, no, no, no about Europe. No, motherfucking boy, I want to go on My goal is to go. I want to I love Italian, dude, so I want to go to Italy and Talian do. One of my questions for later in the horrible decision was do you fu interracially? Yes? Wait, what are you? I'm black, but I'm now adopted, so I'm mixed. I don't know what I'm mixed with. But I was raised by a black woman, so I'm just like,

I'm black. You never spend a tune. I don't care. Okay, I mean you look black? Yeah, I mean my name is a king. That's an African name. Yeah, I mean is everybody I'm coming to America? Probably? But yeah, mixed with some stuff, but I don't care enough to look into it. I'm still gonna be treated black, so it don't really matter if I'm like no, but wait a second, I'm hold English, and I started picturing of my biological

parents and my mom. My biological mom was really really light, and then my biological dad was like as dark as his microphone, which is a pretty dark microphone. For that, tell us about your comedian, but also Paul is Sam j Yeah you right on there you a guest on there? Yeah, I was again Sam James dope fuc She asked me. We have to sell, She asked me if I if I come on to a show. It was amazing and uh and then I just did Late Night at late Night with James Gordon? Can you tell it to talk?

Why did everybody know James Gordon? Why does everyone know him? Like I'm saying, what does he know for hard karaoke? Right? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly know for saying with white women in cars. I just wanted to help people understand who he was the famous Um what I fucking suck with white people. I'm literally thinking Gordon Ramsey and I'm just like like where, I'm like which, and so are you all as well? Yeah? No, I wish I was in God's kind of fine. Gordon,

me too. It's the act. I've never sucked the white man in my life. Really, would you wait? Would you go to be the first one? But the white man that I was white? Jason Momo is not white. He is Pacific Islander. That man is not white. I'm sorry, but I SMO and death Captain America. No, the white man actually really get this pussy and one of them actually just came off the list because of the charges in trial. What oh Johnny Depp could have gotten it with the dregs, but now he can't get it because

he a little he's a little abusy. He's not as I wouldn't. He's giving. So the white man that could get this coach would be Jake. But yeah, he doesn't even watch his legs like he's not even giving. Like he literally said that. Yeah, no, he literally said he should be tagged Jake in this and see if he and I who cares when they're married. I'm all about breaking up straight love. I'm all about it. Are we sitting with videogames? Do you go out of your weight?

I'm I'm single and this is my opinion. I don't know if people agree with me. If you're single, you can't cheat because you're single. Other people are cheating. I agree. I'm not cheating unless I'm sucking someone's husband purposely. Like let's say you have a man, I've done it purposely. I have it. She's not not with anyone that I know. It's like it's a Christmas match you if I know them. If I don't know them, I don't care. Tell you

what I mean. Why you said I'm never sucking someone's husband purposely When you said that, it sounded like you meant if I know you're married, I won't. I'll thank you. I don't tell you if I know the wife. If I know, if I know, you know the partner, exactly, like if you have a husband. And let's say that nigg is on grinding, he messaged me, I'm gonna send you a screenshot like, Yo, your niggas out here? What's no? No?

What do you mean? Are you telling the n Yes, if I know the wife to the wife, if we're friends. If I know the wife and I don't like that, bitch, I'm sucking your husband. Okay. We had never met before today, right exactly, We had done some damn and oh we should hang in l A. We gotta come on horr blah blah blah. Would you tell me if you saw me posted the nigga. Depends how find the nigga was, because, like I said, we don't know each other, so depends

on how fine the nigga was. If he was just an average I'd like, I'll let me go ahead and tell her that. Man, I don't want to if he's like he's like if he's like Chris Brown looking, because I'm Chris Brown looking. So that's your type. That's not my My type varies, but I would Chris Brown of course. Okay. Yeah, he's abusing too, but he can get the coop. Do you guys have like seasons like sometimes like you're in the mood from like like Indian dudes, are you in

the mood? I'm not in a bald season right now, cousins, um, right now, it's trauma. It is you don't even want to nigger that's ball head, but not fine bald niggers. And I'm just like, I'll be all right, like sorry, my ex is a fucking liar and all I can see is him. I ain't gonna hold it back on please. It really like being but I don't mind. Oh my god, yeah, it's given my ex to No, that's what you got a good Very few people have good bald heads, though

we know them all. Charlemagne's got a good ball head. Joe Budden has a good ballad like certain people have good bald because something. I don't think that book like they got cancer, you are not. It's like cad. They look like they got cancer and not like the like the kind that you you almost done. That's how they looked. They looked like you're all the way out and no, no said the cancer niggas. But I'm saying that's how they look. It looks like they just love chemo, some

of them. You know, it's crazy. We all have someone in our lives. I feel like that died from cancer that we don't love and she's too funny. My friend just be cancer. So shout out to my best. She was a good ball. And what crazy is she didn't give chemo ball no. And what's crazy is when she would walk into places no one ever knew like that. She was balled, not by choice, but they thought that she was super a good because she was someone can

pull it off. People be in shallow with ball. You know, a few weeks ago we were literally saying on the fucking podcast about how people are attracted. We've even the passes for a thousand percent, like hot people do hot privilege. There's some things that hot people can do that other people just can't do, Like lie that's why we say what Our next was so long. It was like, damn,

why he looked so good? Like literally before me and my ex broke up, we went to dinner and I showed him how I called him lying, and I said, let me help you lie better to me. That's how fine that it was. But I don't know if I want to be fine keep doing it. Don't help you lie better to me because you don't want a real bad And I don't want to know. Do you know I really want to People really can do whatever they want. They do do whatever I want to get dick from

this line, asked Nigga once. And I remember that. I literally said to myself, just get drunk so you won't want to talk to him when you get there, because if I get too in my feelings or in my right mind, he gonna talk himself out the pussy, and I don't want him to do. And I walked in the door and there they are so airing it. They feel like they have to talk. Yeah, let's talk about that. I feel like they I mean, I don't know, but I feel like they do. I feel like they have.

They feel like they have. They don't. They don't want to just rely on the looks because there's something. There's something about their arrogance, like charming a woman is a turn on to to straight men. So even if they can get you, just because they find they're still in their head they want to be like, oh no, I gotta cause I speak game. It's like when they finally have money, A lot of them don't talk like you

still because you have money. No, that's just because like you're thinking, what athlete, I'm thinking about the fun No, it's because I don't. They just they gotta pass in life by height, embody, and yeah I don't want so they didn't really go through a lot more education. I don't walk into a room with a nigger and it didn't take much. Look, being funny has gotten me in a lot of places. Okay, he said, what being funny? Funny dude? Yeah, I wish gay men. No, it doesn't.

I thought gay men were funny. No, gave it a funny but forgotten dick from being funny. Someone fine, Like I've never gotten from fine dude who was like, well he's so funny, it's never happened. I thought that like men gave up dick and had sex way more freely

and casually than straight men. They do like like even even like when Grinder first came out, a friend of mine used to refer to the people that he linked on Grinder as his pets, and he called it like he would have a petting zoo and literally they would come over finally. But I've had no problem getting dick from like because I have I have a big dig I have a nice but like, I'm doing fine in the dick department. Come on, I have no problem with hooking up with dudes. I send them nudes, they send

nude back with goes on. But like, I've never gotten a dude just from being fun Like I do comedy for Living'm be doing it for like fourteen years now, I'm touring all of the country blah blah blah blah, and no gay dude has ever come up to me. After show, I was like, oh my god, you're so funny, like a hot gay dude, like butter the pants, Like it just doesn't happen that actually I think happens, even

like for me, it happens with head of relationships. And you know, when I noticed it happens, somebody sent me a cliff of brunt fires on million dollars worth of game and and said this as well. So he says, I don't care if you're the hottest girl in the room. I want the girl that walks in and other women are attracted to your energy. You feel the room and energy. You're a powerful person. People want to be around you. That feels good when you're infectious like that and you've

got good vibes. That's the girl I want, the one that everybody's like attracted to in that way. Not always the beauty, but your vibe. Yeah, that's how he used to get nigh. I know a lot of people sent me that clip and said this is you, and I said, are you saying it? I'm second best? Like damn, but any and then I was working with was like, I think about this all the time. Um, the night we met now the dude I was sucking lives in l A. We did meet at one of those like really sceny

industry dinners. But I hate that he sent me that ship. You really made me feel like the ugly bitch. And I'm not saying I was, but after sayingre it was at the table, Well, I didn't to tell me this is this is me from love and hip hop basketball? Wife? Are either you heard Dre? Yeah? I thought it was. Oh No, I don't want to love hip hop. I mean I don't either, Drey. Really, it's like game news Chris Brown. She dated Chris Brown. Yeah, that's how people

know her. She dated Chris Brown. No, that's not how people. That's not people know Creucci. No, bro, she dated Chris Brown before Carucci. No. Yeah, I'm not saying no to that. I'm just saying Drey has got her own name now. But she like got because because she was working with Land Stevenson and then she was, but she was working Chris Brown first, like publicly they were Ris Brown packing. No, I think his dick pick Lee didn't it. I don't know if it did. Someone d m it to me.

How can you pull it up? This is why I love work. Uh, they wouldn't look up Chris Brown didn't really because because Blee text that to Meriana late. I don't care about when. No, no, when they were dating. Maybe that's where he thought his lead Chris Brown did leaked a long time ago. Really, I don't they like him? You want to see it? I think I think it looks I think it looks thank you for trying to find it, trying to find and don't you love your job?

I love my job looking up in think did I see the pictures like people like paying a thousand dollars to take these sex? I love? That was so good for him. You know what it's really difficult about Chris Brown, like he does like you said, he's not abusing. He's Johnny Depp is abusy. We saw what Chris Brown did, but like abusing and he has not a He's an abuser. Yeah, abusing is like are you are you know? No? I think Johnny Depps an abuser as well. They can you

read the thing? Yeah, they're both abusing. Well, I'm just saying I don't know how we keep letting it go. Is it talent? Is it finest? Like it's sick? Ship? Bro oh ship? Is that is dick se Can you how can I see? Can you? I told you it is long but it's skinny? Is can you put it on the screen? And That's what I'm trying to do. But that being said, he has it on his only fans. Wait, Chris Christ a fan? Yes, I don't like only fans. Let's buy it on the day real Chris Brown don't

even know. Goddamn only fans. There's no way Tiger has an only fans ready for that Chris Brown Dick, that's the top one is the one I saw. That bottom one ain't his? There go Chris Brown, Dick told you no it is. This is the first of all. This is the Chris Brown. That's somebody else Dick from his only cop one with his face. That's why saw the website called the Sword We like puns? Can you click on the top keen? Can we just talk about his later? You to guess? I know, I'm sorry. Look cute, that's

a nice it's it's a cute dick. No got cut. You can don't bleep him, just bleep him. I don't know why he here he They're gonna be like never having bad Wait a second, you want to bleep out a comedians joke? It's just a joke. We should we be fcc in balls and talk about I'm gonna have

to google that later though. So here we go with the funk shi y'all only could and we had to wait a little bit for the white person to leave next though, But let's we know a lot We've been getting a lot of audiobook recordings from some company that has just been flooding to us a bunch of white people. In this bright shout out to Sophia, it's probably her bringing in the white clientele. We appreciate you pants. Oh my god. Oh, here we go. Okay, sorry, okay, here

we go. Talking about her name is Emily, of course, and Emily decided to go on a little rant about us and said, calling out the horrible pod, calling out Wheezy for being consistently racist towards white people, but she ironically is half white. Just stop. I think full core Pumps is racist too. But I can barely listen anymore because it's just full of ship, including a lot of

illegal and a listen content. She added the SCC and thinks that we should probably talk about sex work as a country in terms of the law because we apparently are um soliciting illegal and illicit content. I mean, she's not a nigga, she is a whole Karen, Hey, bitch edit FCV. Like when I understand the definition of racism, like you have to be in the position of black people are in a position of power. Oh, there's no

way we could be racist. You could say prejudice. If you were using words correctly, you could say that that. I don't know where she found us, but Sophia's to record in seven minutes, and I put this all on her. Every time we have a Caucasian, guess, somebody comes in, it sweeps on apple that you had recently. Will randomly fine, Okay, we randomly throw them in, okay, and when we do, somebody coming right back and they just she got a display picture she does she has pink hair. Well, it's online,

it's giving wig, it's giving part city. Can I say that's why? God too? Well? And I'm man, let's put her photo up. So the problem with typing stuff like this. She also has her LinkedIn connected and let's do some illegal ship now. Oh god, she's a political activist. Power to the people. Yes, the freelancer that's her Emily hair on. Yeah, she seems like all all lives matter. She except beast

freelancing on a blogger. Oh beast. That's interesting that because you might give them, You might give them like numbers they just did. Uh, they just did an article with me, um, so I'll talk to him. You would have a blog ho and an author of four books to be found on only Amazon um in a PDF form. She's a writer of you wish Ethics consolet I know, Wow, Stanford Healthcare. How can you be a freedom fighter and then police a black platform? On on on freedom, on what you

can and can't say? On how to the people? Is in your LinkedIn in your LinkedIn headline, And that's her. That's a better picture without the party city white people all never got no shoes on. She looks so plain. She's mad because y'all got curves and y'all are fine. She looked like a Barbie without the bee. You may not know this because you may not be able to. I don't know withstand the niggas and bitches that we say on this show, and I do feel sorry for

you in that regard. But what I will say is this show has helped women get safe abortions, leave abusive relationships, find safe havens, suicide lines. We've talked about sex trafficking. We've given resources to find what was I gonna say, um for the LGBT community, to find places to be

able to talk, find mentorship, get safe sex education. I want to add that we have also partnered with flow Code, which is a nonprofit organization in Austin and now has another chapter because of our partnership with them, who provides menstrual products for under community. We've also partnered with Survived to Thrive, which helps women get back into work with resume and work close after leaving domestic violence women pasifically.

Something that we love to do on this show, which is our fun favorite priority, is to give black people a place to feel at home, to feel seen, to feel like they have community, which we're trying to break up with the fcc HO and you fucking cunt, cunt, you can kiss my black ass. I don't know what else. It's a stand for it, but you've got nothing else to do. Really, this is why we need to give her. This is the type of mision need a job you and you got the goddamn nerve to. I mean, no,

that's God making white people poor. It's kind of a

funny job. And I will say, Emily, I will say this from um my l a home and my New York one and my studio that I'm sitting in with my black ass um and we could maybe even take it to yours when we travel there next week to record another episode of this podcast that won't be taken down by the FCC because it is already existing on my heart media, YouTube, many platforms where it's been making many people money, including us, and we would probably need

to find a donation fund. Who's Emily's biggest enemy? Let's watch them thrive? Should we find look? Go through her tweet? Alright, No, well, we're just gonna post where everybody can find you. Her name is Emily E. M I L Y common spelling, is a commoner bitch that you are last name H E R O N. So do with that what you will. Anyway, Let's get back into sucking dick illegally? Um, have you ever killed legal dick? She said? We were doing a legal ship. Have I ever kissed a woman? Yes? Three women?

I kept losing a Spin the bottle? Was this on the same night? It was all the same night. I'm so serious, I was. I'm a gold star game. I've never been romantically attracted to women at all. I've never slept with a woman. I've never done anything. High school, we will playing Spin the Bottle because we were like a junior year. Well it was only from Spin the Bottle,

so it was spin about the whole time. I was trying to have a joke about it, but the whole time I was trying to kiss Stephen and it landed on three white women. So sorry, black women. I have only kissed white women. Uh, I know it land on three white womens. I kissed him and then it finally landed on Stephen. But I wasn't out of the closet at the time, so like when it landed on Stephen, I was like, oh, no, Steven. But my head, I'm like, oh ship, Steven, this is all I wasn't your first

kiss cinema. Yeah. I grew up in Florida, very conservative. I grew up in Pombay, for you know, we from Fall seven Choppa City, going and raised baby. I started comedy there in two thousand ten, graduated it on nine. Oh. I started in winter Park, Austin's Coffee and Park went to I don't go to high school in Orlando. I went to high school in Pombay, Florida, which is like an hour south of al We're glad you got We're able to get out. Not his Heaven Central Florida into

explaining why y'all matching so well today? Not saying we tack. No, No, I'm joking because every time I'll wear something crazy, my friends be like Florida for nothing? Did you go to did you go to college there? Like you got to something? Okay, I mean I went to Valencia, which I didn't go to college, but yeah, so that was my first time. I didn't go. I dropped out, but I went, but I didn't. But I'd like to stay in a room full of Caucasians like Emily here and I didn't go.

Now what, um, your celebrity crush is actually on here for me? So we figured it's Chris Brown. But if the only way to get to your celebrity crush went to be by having a woman joining what the woman? Who's the woman? Uh? Good one? We always say Rihanna? Okay, sure, but that's easy. Yeah, that's easy. I mean for me, Um, so it would be a three DA would be I wouldn't want me Rihanna and Chris That I seemed like, yeah,

that wouldn't be a good. Well we could always put it like PreO four something like, well, I mean my other celebrity RYO subn fantasy is Ryan Reynolds. I totally we just said you oh, you would do Ryan and Rihanna all right, just the home mixed bag. That'd be fun. I mean, I wouldn't do ship with Rihanna, but it'd be cool for her to be there. You know what, I sucked Rihanna and her a little fine, asked prints she used to have I suck her as after she's

I hope you can hear us through the vans. He'd be over there, sluptisy every time day in that day of office, I'll be walking by a slow like, wait, so have you even seen a white dick in person? Not wait, in the sex club? Oh yeah, in the sex club. Okay, so I have You're right, but even did big dick is kind of fun. It's not like I tried some some somewhere dudes are packing it's weird. It's not like I tried to look just because I

knew I was from the sea. I'm just I mean, I'll say this, I haven't had sex with a white guy in so long. I had that one blip in Dallas with lover Boy, but I haven't had sex with a white guy in so long that what's starting to happen is now I can't get back in it. Like when I was in Europe, I really thought I was gonna some Italian dude or some white French dude. And you did you anyone? You know? Had a blip, a little moment in the bathroom with a girl that I

almost sucked except I found that she was twenty. I would too, But I'm just not judging you. Guys just said, you know, I really threw it, really threw me off. How do you if you don't want me asking? Oh, you missed that opportunity. You know what I mean? It's twenty is not too young to are you buy? Are you by y? Yeah? She says, I'm gay. I'll get sucking licking Hello, we leave the pet of the buy girls. When I had a girlfriend, I was real gay, though

I wasn't giving ship hold on. What's this big name again? Was she Italian? Okay? Here she is? Oh you missed out? She is gorgeous. You're stupid? Yeah, yeah, you're She's French. I don't think you are who you say you are. I think Sharon has talked to me. Who was that friends basically was like it's a dude to him. He was basically saying like that. He was like, this is way too predatory. He's like you no, oh he didn't some young he was just mad because she was into

you and not him. You know what it was? My friends started talking to me down the list too, Oh you have you have not good friends. None of these people are your front. She's she's yeah, she's consenting, she's It's not like I don't go back, you know, I'm going back to friend. She was gorgeous. Yeah, you should have definitely. I think I think if anything in your twenties,

I think it's fine. I'm seen. I'd be like, okay, girl, wait a few years, but like your thirty one, the teens forty, then I'd be like, okay, bitch, calm down, but you're you're thirty one. That's that's eleven years. That's not that big of video. She wouldn't give me and my ex for just seventeen years apart. You know what I was started thinking too. She says she's twenty. What if she's younger? Okay, well that's yeah. You should have his passport to that bitch anyway? Can you give us

a sex tip? I don't want to make it about me anymore. Okay, So this is our our or dirt section of the pod. We give sex tips. So if you have any unique trick that you do or a trick that's been done on you and you want to share it with the world, this is your time to shine. King tip Yes, um a tip for people and sex. Obviously gay people because I don't have stay checks. It could be a tip for hetero if it's like something to be doing an old ball sucking. Women don't like

ball sucking? Do I don't like ball? You don't speak for your demand that I actually like prefer their ball, So I guess you won't be matching with them on grinder. Yeah, balls, but it's not my way. I do to share the good balls. Second tip, so you can share something else. Share a favorite thing you'd like to do in bed, favorite thing, favorite thing. I recently I've been like really

big into rimming dudes. I normally don't, but like recently I've been getting like, if if the if the ass is nice, say that too, But I don't almost clean people on my sucking thees. You don't know that you're right, but in my head I'm only saying that because someone I know I got it and I was like, how do you that this ship and he was like this, I don't know he knows. Oh well, we're about to share a blunt, you told me, but he do be

just like blow. They don't know clean the booty holes? Right, So you like rimming, but do you like getting rimmed? I don't mind it. It's not my it's not my um. It's not like my favorite thing in the world. But like, if the dude wants it, I'm not gonna be like no. And then with rimming, do they have to be man escaped or will you eat a Harry boothole? I don't care if the dude I don't. I don't have I just experienced that for the first time. She just said, you have a big dick. Do you feel like you

were forced into bottoming because you're a big dick? Sometimes I bought them because I have a big day, because I don't. I've dealt with because sometimes people will see my dick and and they they'll see it's big, but they won't notice how thick it it. Also, yeah, yeah, and they're and they're they're and they're prepped for it,

like you know stuff you would doubt. So you know what you gotta do if you're guy having eyes and then they won't prep well enough because they didn't anticipate it being that being because people think that people lie about people. What's the way? So what's the half as prep It's it's like when you when they do, but they don't douce completely, or they don't do as deeply as they need to because it goes deeper than they

were expected. So all of y'all need to go apologize to Medina because the nigga could have been prepped, maybe just not fully prepped or her. I don't know who the dookey slice came from, but that's what I'm saying. Maybe she didn't prepare for the win. An episode where a home cirl of ours was talking about how she would lay in her own ship in a hotel bed because it's like, oh everything's nasty, and it went viral. Yeah,

and I ain't in a moment. I feel like if I didn't know her, I would have went harder at it. But I know Medina is silly and funny, but I was like, this isn't really Oh she was getting she had anal sex with a guy and and she said, actually, I'll replay the ski. There was a skid mark on I mean you know the play. She just said there was a skid marks on the bed. Yeah, oh no, I would have took off all that stuff I media exactly. I would have all the bedding and told the people

where She just yes, right exactly. I mean, you know, I get a baby if it's like folk clock in the morning, you drunk. I don't we talking about Okay, so we're talking about a skid Are we talking like there's like ship? She said it was a slice, No bro, no, no, no, she did sleeping on that. I mean taking off all the bedding and if I rolled over on the before I sleep. But if they didn't have been a bear. I don't know what's worse a bear mattress in a

hotel or she with your own. The thing about the hotel was a bear batch in the hotel might be worse than a sheet with a scape mark on it. I'm gonna take bear mattress, bear matches overall. Ship full it don't. But also I do stay a nice ship. It don't. And if you're sucking an ass, it better be luxury. Bear hotel matchresses are cleaner because they'll comstantly putting sheets on they're not. They might be cleaner than ship. I mean yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean yeah. I

don't want to with my own ship. Yeah, tighties. Hey again, there's a whole lot more on that. But then I'll sleep on the floor, like obviously on the floor the flow. Yes, I'm the couch. I'm not sweeping on the ship. You know. When I first found out, and this is actually a crazy thing because I don't know why. A lot of straight women and men probably have no idea how messy gay sexes. I was twenty two. It can be it. It's not always messy. If y'all clean, it's not. But

go ahead. I was gonna say, I watch a lot of game pointed don't be messy, because you just gotta know why that is true. It don't be I don't know. I can't get of course, but anybody. I realized how messy it could get. When Vinnie wanted to suck this guy at my house we were living in Orlando. Pull up a picture of video. I want to own if I Vinny doesn't know, does he not? Does he not? The top said that no, you need in my bed, and I slept on the couch and he literally had

to take the sheets off my bed washed him. He's like, girl, gay sex gets messy, and I was like, I thought he was just being kind. No, I don't know that your friends, No, I don't have. Most of my friends are straight. So if he sucked any of my friends, good, most of my friends a comedian dude is always like streight straight friends. Yet nah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I sucked some dudes. This happened in Denver. Actually I sued this dude. I was in Fort Collins last week. I headlining, headlining

a bunch of shows, and I sucked this dude. And he here's the thing that was beat that headlining a bunch of shows. Some with times people like straight like straight dudes have to have the air quotes. Okay, So I was looking I was looking up was dude and he was like he was telling me, like we were talking on grinding. He was like, hey, this is my first time, I've never I've never been with the guy before, my first time, blah blah blah blah, and I'm like, okay,

n whatever. And then we're having sex and he's giving me a blowjob and it's the best blow a guy in so the whole time, like this nigga is a liar, like I'm just the thank you. Maybe it's hot. I don't, I mean if I mean to When I gave head for the very first time in my life, he said I was good too, and swear I did it before and I did it so sometimes you do think with a passion. But this was like the type this was like, this was like a depth head like I've been secnditions

off nineteen He've never It was like going of the best. No, nigga, if this is your first time, you should be teaching a class. What made it so good? Everything the spit you show, the deep d and everything everything about it was like you can class ever, so something like you should teach the dick sucking class. Everest, get off the couch. It's like that dick like. And I was like the whole time, I was great, but I was also thinking, I can't believe he lied to me, Like why would

he lie to me? Were you thinking that while you were? I was thinking the whole time that he wanted to go in easy. No, No, I didn't end up me just blew me. But the whole time I was like, this is great. You just can't be your first time. Let's talk about a time there hasn't been so great. What's one of your worst this? Okay, this is one of my It was weird, so that's why it was bad, right, he said, I had and almost three sous. Now I've had to do some before because I'm an adult, but

like I've had, this isn't the almost three. So okay, So I'm a grinding. It's two o'clock in the morning. This when I used to live in South central I lived in South central Los Angeles for four years, okay, living Daddy's in the hood. And this guy messages me on two It was like Tuesday at like two am, right, and he messaged me. He's like, hey, do you want to suck me and my husband? And I'm like, yeah,

it's Tuesday. I top on Tuesday. Tuesday. So he messaged me and he so he said, it's okay because you guys know on grinding you can send your location because we're monsters. So he sent it's wild. But it's not that you don't have to exchange phone numbers exactly, you just sending send lokay. So we dropped his pen. It was like fifteen minutes away, driving in south Central. It's two am. I'm I'm horny whatever. So I drive to his house. I get to his house and a dangerous

life in the gay community. Yeah, like you went to a stranger's house to him and his husband at two am without even having his number. Just me. I'm just trying, like I'm trying to. I'm like, gets worse, keep going. So I walk up to his house. I'm about to ring the doorbell and then this dude gets comes out of the shadows. He did keep going. He comes out the shadows. I'm like, oh, ship, it's Brent. His name was Brent and it's a break of out was that

white dude? He comes out of the shadows. I'm like, oh, I was just about to knock on your door. This is I'm like, this is cool. Are we're gonna going together? He's like, oh, this isn't my house. I'm like, oh okay. He's like, nah, but this this is my U hawk. Wait so he wanted you to fucking the U haul. Yeah, he met me outside. It's like, this is it's a

bit like he dropped the pen. This is giving the nigga in London who was living sleeping in his car, he dropped the pin of just a random complex that he was around with his U Hawk because the pen was where do you haul? Wait a second, Wait a second, and so him and his husband, we're gonna suck you in the back of the U haw truck. I'm sucking them. Oh you're fucking he said, don't get sucked up and keep going. So what happens is so I'm hornings. It's

a big U. I'm gonna be honest with you. I don't know if it had been at this point, it depending on if they was fine and fine. He was fine. I didn't see the husband yet, so he walked me to the U haul. He opened the door because he's a gentleman. And in the back of the U haul there's an air mattress or I don't know if it's air mattres, but there's a mattress. Clearly you just don't care about mattress. And before you judge me, there was

also a headboard. So already they'll do a better than it's a big U. Because they were moving U haul, maybe they were breaking up, and he was like, let's get one last keep going. So I walked into the mattress. There's a headboard, There's there's a chair in the corner. It's a studio apartment at this point, Like, there's a chair in the corner. Is expensive in the corner? I kid you not. This is the part that you can stand up. This is the yeah, this is the part.

This is the part that I can't understand. There's a lamp in the corner and it's on on and like I don't understand how, but it was in the corner on. I'm like, what the fun? Or it could have been like one of those it could have been a girl they still do, right, it had to be bad. So the you so the lights on. There's a chair, right, So he's sitting on the chair. When I walked into the U haul, his his his boyfriend or husband, I don't know the stats the matter status was in a

jockstrap like likewype. Yeah. Yeah, it was pretty hot. So I walk in and he closes the U haul and in my head I'm like, oh, no, murder, But like in my dick, I'm like, this is gonna be so much fun. So like I still, so I started sucking the dude husband and he has the thing that the it didn't shake that much because it was d it was like a really big but it was moving. But he was why I think I was cheated because it wasn't.

Because that's why I say it was an almost threesome, right, because like when you do with threesome, the best part is you get two of the things that you like, Like you get two dicks, two asses today for tday, you get double with the thing. So I'm sucking this dude and the whole time his husband, oh boyfriend is just sitting there watching exactly. But that's not what I signed up for. I signed up for threesome. I'm all about sucking some dude husband in front of you. That's

cool on whatever. I don't kick shream, but I just signed up for that. I signed up for threes like sometimes Yeah, So the whole time I'm sucking this dude, I'm just looking at him and like, are you gonna tag in or we gonna or we're gonna swit? Am I gonna chegging off? Because then technically that's like, oh,

he was sitting there. You could see that he had a heart on because he had like gym shortch on or whatever, but he was just sitting there watching as I sucked this dude's husband, and I'm like, are you gonna sub in? Like, what the funk are we? Why? Why? And he never did why. I sucked, my came and I left. But here's the thing that's wild after I left. No, no, first time I was gonna say, there's nothing that. Here's the thing that's followed. You're already in the wild. Okay.

They drove off. They didn't live in the area. They just went to South Center the to find some black dude to fuck his white which I'm like, I'm all about racist if I get the white dudes for vengeance. But it was they went to South Central to find a black dude to his white husband. That that is the wild part. That's at least they had a place they had. Yeah, that was the They went to South Central because they know South Central black. They drove, they drove the off that and where do you think we

can get a black guy? Yeah, that's a percent what it was. They didn't live anywhere in South was at least a good department complex. They chose it was South Central. It wasn't It wasn't there more dangerous parts that they could have picked, you know what I mean. So it was safer in that sense, but it wasn't by any means nice. Wasn't like it was south Central Central Shade,

but it's still a hood. I had to drive to the South Central recently to get weed after midnight because the story is closed and I was on my period so I really needed and I was I'm on my way there. I'm telling a friend in l A where I'm going. She's like, bitch, ain't gonna kill you. Oh, you had a tesla role like with them, and she was likely Central. Do you I mean where in l A do you live in? Okay, you're shut up. I

lived in South Central. I still have an apartment there, but my lease is up next month, so I'm not gonna resign. But wait, so I ain't gonna hold you. Would you fucking nigga in a U haul? If I already fun? If I'm like if he's fine as hell? So I don't do anonymous sex. But I know that's

some gay ship, no shape. Gay people do it all time, but but mainly because of safety being on the d L whatever like ship happens, right, But um sex is more dangerous for women anyway, right, Okay, there's a few scenarios. Let's say I'm already sucking you and we're in the U haul. Yes, let's say helping you move, helping to move whatever I'd give, I would sucking a U haul like it wasn't that bad, That wasn't it. Did they

get hot? Because I was going to be a lot of all the way it was like a crack, So then people could have walked by and her jawn moaning and in theory, yes, but it's two am in the hood and y'all kept a U haul cracked because the other options suffocating. But it would be hot as if you didn't keep it crack, So you had to have air in the motherfucker I recently had to do. I don't know if anyone's ever heard. I believe it's called

a d R where you were mouthing over um. It's like for animation, right, or like when people make a mistake in a movie you have to like redo the scene. And a d R booth is so fucking hot. Oh yeah, and I was there with this girl that she kind of as an actress whatever, But anyway, we had already kind of sucked around a little bit. I will never forget. It was so fucking hot in there, and the engineer

had to leave. She's like, let's sucking here, and I'm like, bitch and die, like it's already a box that she was like, people do it all the time, and I'm like, you can sucking Florida, you can find I don't know. Here's the thing. I don't like public sex. I don't like. I've done it a lot. I've had sex with wild places. I don't do it, but I just don't care for a bead Like I've had sex that construction site with a construction worker who was on the site, which was

wildly hot about a time. What, yeah, I was at a construct Was this another drop pin? Yeah? This was during the day. Though. Would you rather do your in calls or alcohols? I prefer to host. I mean, now that I have my own place, I prefer people to come over. I don't mind going to other people. When you had roommates, though, did you not want to host? I would sometimes if the dude was really hot, but I'd rather not deal with it. What's your remmate game? No,

I've never lived with gay people. I've always lived for straight so I'd rather not deal. I'd rather go to their place. But now that our our own place, I'm all about invite people. I don't Here's the thing, I don't mind. Sex in public obviously makes you feel safer having a stranger come to you. Are you going to someone's place. You're saying hosting. I guess hosting because I can,

because I want to know what's for me. I mean, honestly, I feel safe regardless, even though I probably shouldn't, but I feel safe regardless because it's like, what dudes, Okay, I just I've never felt like even when I was working in the U haul, because you feel like you could be there. I was scared. I'm like, oh shoot, we might get carved, but I was never scared that they're gonna murder me and time me up in the

which was a percent of possibility. But I was just like, we think without digs, it's a good way to go. It's so that you were afraid of dudes, and here we are living in fear every day because because that's what I'm saying for y'all, not to be afraid of dudes, knowing what dudes are capable of. Still right, But I think like he's saying, because weird dudes he feels stronger, right, we feel a little more defenseless in theory. That's how.

That's how. That's like, I've just never been I've never been. Not that I'm not scared of dudes, like I've never I've had wild, crazy sex, but I've never been, like, I've never been in danger. And you know what, I guess we could have quate this when I'll be feeling safer,

But you're not a hood bitch. But I'm saying like they're like safer by the hood they did you not see the TikTok of the nigga he was in the fucking he was in the hospital room and it was like the word was y'all thought y'all got me, but y'all shot her instead, and it's his girlfriend in the bed and he's like, y'all ain't get me, bitch. Yes, And I would like to say that as soon as I woke up, it's soon that's gonna It's like that's moved by the way I know we're gonna interview. I

feel it him. I don't really love niggas. I don't think I've ever nigga ever, no trade, Damn. I don't like that man. I don't like that energy, the hood energy, I guess Florida. I don't. Yeah, I don't like it, but I got one now and it's I'll literally be like, bro, chill with your little attitude. Bro like yeah, but I've

never like hood dude. I don't know what it is about hood ship, but I could only equate it to like club experiences, right like when I was growing up, Like my first club, I would get into like you're gonna get in the hood spot because the I d ship, right, I think I probably it's almost like you go for what you know, like I don't know. And every time I break up with a nigga. For example, my ex, the one who was bald, who I can't even like look at it anymore. Right, um, he was super tidy,

tech finance type of guy. Right, so he wasn't he was black dude. He went the hood nigga. He was from Brooklyn, but he went the hood nig What I go for dres gold teeth hood as nigga nigga who told me he made music. But see, I think told I think you're attractive, but I've never I wouldn't. I've never been with one, nor do I want. There's just it's something about him. It's like they take you into their arms and make you feel like what that means, Like every time I'm feling that the niked from p

Valley he is so fine, he looked good. Have you ever dated a transman? Like? Has that ever come across your radar? I mean, like, have they hit on you? I don't think so that's my knowledge. I don't. Here's what I think about trans men. So it's so transmit or who are like extremely hot and no no ship to them. But I'm a big fan of Dick. Yeah, my knowledge trans in that same aspect I'm not interested in I'm not so I'm so I'm only interested in

men like trans man. I think someone really hot, but I couldn't get past the fact that they don't have a Dicky my knowledge, I don't think they do, like been having a lot harder in terms of sex because I think so too. It's so much easier to get bottom surgery, it is, and it's just like I totally get that. So for me, I couldn't get past it.

And then as far as like trans women, I've never been sexually attracted to women, So trans women, have they have boobs, and they have the woman's figure, which I think is beautiful, but sexually my my dick don't do anything. If both of y'all got naked right now, my dick would be like, okay, cool, like nothing happened, Like nothing would happen, but not to you. Are anybody Beyonce walking

here naked? I'm like, oh, say it's Beyonce. We appreciate you clarifying with Beyonce, but isn't it crazy how Beyonce is like our bar for anything? Like some people ask me, like, what's your dream guest for a podcast to be like, I know we would all say Beyonce, but for me, it's Jesus. Like I'd be having to say it, like I know I'm not Beyonce, but she is really our Lord and saving Jesus Christ. Okay, is there a sexual

fetish that turns you off? I I don't like feet, I don't care about I don't like I don't like feet, but I don't care. I don't like this is I don't think this is a fetish. But I don't like being called daddy. Yeah, I don't like that because sometimes dude, you'll call me that because I'm feared and like whatever, it's a huge turn off. Like give a dude calls me daddy, like Poppy, I don't mind because it's like I don't really mind Poppy that much because said that,

I don't like. See, I don't deal with I deal with black men don't call me mommy. And I've said don't like being called I don't mind mommy because it feels like New York ships and me. I told you that, but I never really experienced a lot of mommy ship like something. I've had a lot of dudes I looked at the rocks and older dude before, like daddy, I'm my motherfucker. It's ownership. Things called me daddy though women that called me daddy too. It's like a power dynamic game.

It is a power dynamic, but I just think it's weird. So I've never been turned on by it. If it's someone's kink in there and it gets them off, I'd like, it's fine, I'll let them. But it's never been anything for me. So I wanted to bring up by guys and I know we talked about a little bit because I had this experience recently um in Paris that I wanted to bring up with you on the show because I was like, the factor in my head that made me not want to do it was the fact that

I didn't think they were by. So I went to the club and it was a hood asked spot. It was wonderless. Yeah, it was the twentieth on theory small it was. It was some with this ship. I liked it. Like they had security and middle gates. I was like, oh, barricades, I'd like it here. That's also what's at a festival. Well it wasn't. It wasn't a festival, but it was a spot. Okay, if if it's a if it's a club,

there's a hood club, they'd be having medalship, right. So I get cornered in the club by one guy that I know, Um, French dude, really fine, asked nigga, dark skin, fucking tall. So his boy A lot of the people I realized in the club if they were good English speakers, they were Haitian from Miami, just visiting family and France. Right. So he like starts dancing with me and pressing up on me, and then his friend comes over and said who is this and he's like, oh, this is my boy,

dadda dat. So we stopped dancing. So the dude gets on the wall and my boy was like, should dance with him? And I was like, oh, you're just pushing me off. He's like, no, I'm about to dance with you. Do So I was like them, which, now we're in this sandwich. I feel both their ducks and I was like, oh my god, mind you. My friends are grabbing drinks and we I like and Gabby and I'm like, they're gonna come back and they're gonna find me in room mom home. Man. I was like, what am I gonna do?

What am I gonna do that? Because it was hard as but and then he says to me, now you have a French Nigerian. You got your Haitian? Like what's your face? I don't know what he was saying. He was trying to be hot, but I don't know. Then was going on, and then I was like do they

do this all the time? To the point where one of them switched to get in front of me and then like started touching me and saying good I look, and the other nigga was kind of just standing there smoking and I was like, you know, nobody was like people weren't even looking, were like on the side of the DJ. But I was like, it was so freaking hot. But then one thing that happened as I said, okay, so you guys are telling me you want me to leave with you or something like how long does this

go on? And they started laughing, and uh, I think what kicked me out of it is like one had implied I would almost be like servicing them, and I was like, what about you too, And they kind of looked at me like bitch wen sucking each other and I was like, it turned me off. I really want to see too, Nigga's do some ship. I want to see like Shord dot com play with it making it nice. Thick had that experience. There's a lot of bide there who I know, I know a few. I know a

few and then they're not here. I know. I know every time I ain't on my gay friends, I'd be like, please, I just want to I just want to see. I want to watch like one of the you Gotta Find and you Gotta Find the by does it all show your type as a straight? Right? That's the other hard They also got to be looking and then like I had the opportunity one time and it got really close, but they were both tops, so it really went nowhere, and I was like, well, this is not what like

you got too how long? No, I wanted to see one of them bottom. I don't want to be with two men, both of them. I don't need that. I don't want to like suck a dick together. Oh just for fun, I would like to do this. I would know I would like to do that. That would be fun, Like I don't need the fun. I want to watch it.

I want it's harder to I think it's harder fine because there's not because by guys are so like actual bye guys are rare, I think because a lot of times one leaning the other way, we can lean another way. Or they say that though by just to make women feel more comfortable. And that's and that was my thing too when the opportunity arose for the possibility of it to happen. The other man to me, even though even though they were both tops, one was like more feminine.

I don't like feminine men at all. So if I'm gonna be with even two buy men, I want them to be both very masculine. She wants to go to South Central. She's like, I would like, like the two niggas on P Valley, like the one that got out of jail r I P and then Uncle mart like to murder Uncle Marda whatever you called little murder murder. Yeah, yeah,

those are the two like that, you know. I'm like, well, I think the other issue that I feel like kind of happens with the BUYE ship is you're always terrified of like there's a sex in the City moment where Samantha Fox these two dudes or is about too and they changed their mind and they're like, we don't really like you, Like I'm telling you right now, if I get in a room with two by niggers they don't want to suck each other's dick, I'm like, well, what

the hell do They're unlikely to happen, because then they wouldn't have brought you in the room, Like if they didn't want to do ship with you, they would have just ditched you and suck the sucks dick and did their own dick shit without. So here's what my planing is. So I follow both them, right, So I'm thinking about figuring out which one would be more leaning, right, and even if they weren't sucking dick and if they would

get there, you don't get you. Have you talked about this like, I'm sure you have got big following you because some big and fans by Guy Bye. Hey guys. So, if you're watching this episode and you're interested services goodness an area, would you fly them out? No? No, they have to find themselves too. I only do there for women. Sorry. Okay, so you do have to fly yourself up. But do you have a man that would suck there? Like, do

you have another by man option? Okay? So the reason I said I feel like I could get it to pop with these two or one of them, is because I'm probably gonna go back to Paris for fashion week, and if I do, all the game nigg is gonna be there for one wait whitch fashion week September September September, I can't remember. But you don't want a gay guy. You need another bye guy, not a game. No, but I'm saying like a lot of euro dudes are by,

but all the fashion niggas probably be buying open Europeans listenings. Yeah, you're you're more open sexual culture. They're more shame in such reality over. So they come out and say it are gonna be in Pali, might as well dig with me and don't worry. We ain't got to go back to the club. We'll meet you at tell who house or something that sounds fun. House is the greatest three somewhere where to start pop in the d M. She is soliciting your mouth and oh, isn't I doing it illegally?

Emily heron bitch last name. Yeah, what I have a question because I did a whole sketch about this. I'll send you guys the sketch later. Do do you guys get bad dick picks? Because okay, so this is what happened. I was. I was over the pandemicited bad quality ash. Yeah, because over the pandemic I got. I made I made a video that went kind of viral, had like trying to find views or whatever, and which is viral for me? Um like the media, I'm trying to get better at it.

But listening I'm on TV doing five it's it's that it was called it was called hitch dicks. So the whole it's because I was teaching straight dude how to take dick picks. Because I posted on on on I posted on Facebook that I was getting a lot. I was talking about girl dassy, really really dope chick from Atlanta, and she was saying that she's she was in a relationship with this guy and she's like, we can't meet up because of the pandemic, and she's there. He's like,

I hated because men send terrible dick picks. And I'm like, oh no, bitch, that's straight, man, because I've been getting dickiever and these motherfucker's a fire. This dude's dick is huge, okay. And when I say it's huge, sometimes it's too big to go inside of me. Fucking once in a blue very sporadically, and I was in Atlanta. He was in

Atlanta at the same time. So he sends me a picture of his dick in his hotel room and I just, now, don't get me wrong, I wanted to go and get it, but I said to myself, why would I want this? That's that it's more than and it's a weiry, big dayles bad. Do you see his terribleized room? I said, I hate I hate it. I started a whole thing, the hitstick. I gave up my phone number and I got a lot of texts that's my phone about people sending me dick picks and fix and fixing them, Like

I got text with people who said who's straight? People are like, yo, why my yol? This is terrible? And I gave him all the tips. Do you do you ask them? Do you get paid for that? Because we have miss be Nasty on and she literally said that's my dick, but yeah, but he's giving it. I told him, give him, give him my bed moore after. Did they want to tip me? They can't, but it's not I don't care. But also I think being Nasty doesn't care to see them. I think you want them. You want

to see too, because because then women get better. You want to help fix something. That's true. Bro. So I get over to his hotel room right and he was like asking me if I was gonna be able to take it. I was like, I could take the dick and pick you sent me. And he didn't know what

I was saying. And I didn't necessarily shame it too much because I still wanted it, but I was like, yo, if you take it so big, like do girls get surprised when you like pull it out and you send him picks and he was like, oh, I was just sending that in the moment, like I was about to cherk off and like I put lotion on it. I was like, you didn't put enough. It was giving app It was so you should have dick picks in stock. If you no no, no one, it's cool to same one.

Like I thought on the moment, I think you should send money in the moment, but I think if it's not a good one that you should send an old one that's a good one. Well, so I don't want to get we ended up bad. One week later, he comes to me and this is how I know. Another bit said something We faced time and he's laughing. He was like, I can't believe you at a nerd to get in your uber black because that's what I requested.

He was like, come get my dick and tell me and't look big enough in a picture when you can't even take it. So we laugh about it, and I was like, I'm telling you you couldn't take I can't, but it's fun to try. What is it like tenne uh, it's a little bigger than ten. But the issue is the occurred so like when he gets super hard even in the middle of being inside of me. I can't. Yeah, I don't. That's when I liked pictures like that. I would pull one out, but it's my phone's over there,

but I've got it's right, that's right there. Okay, let me do this, let me live my life. You can well, they say the picture quality is good. You don't like andrewids, He's take it. I can get for a dick pick. He said, what's up? What? Okay, y'all s my damn phone. So this dude, this dude sent me a dig pick and I haven't saved. And it was two. It was so big. I was like, oh, oh no, you're not sucking me, Like, I don't know if you thought that one. I'm trying to let me see if I can find it.

I love abnormally big dicks. I just think I like the idea of them. But when it's fun to look at. Yeah, but when I've seen whoa wow, yeah he was, I mean, why, like this is why I used to like skinny niggas anyway, Oh wait, yeah it was. It was like, that's a good dick pick. That's a really good dick pick. But I think it's like if he sucked you. You would have literally had a colonoscopy. That's the clip that to

clean you out. That's a big old dick. And you know what, someone I know had it tilted um uterus never ever told this story. Horrible when the dude sucker, he tilted a uterus to like see, I feel kind of sorry for people who I feel sorry people who have Michael dicks, But I also feel a little bit sorry for people who are like that, because I'm like, who's take to do the last big, big dick I was sucking. I think it was hospital dick. Oh yeah, well it wasn't her uterus, but he had never had

any tho sex. Yeah no, I mean I've showed a story about like one athlete who was currently He was injured at the time, so I would have had to ride his dick and it was so big. We got away with just us like I just sucked it and he came from the head. But I don't even know how he came because I could only put the tip in my mouth. I felt so insufficient. Can you tell us up? I don't know what they're gonna tell who it is. I don't know anything about we want to I want to know if we can test b D

Why are you talking about other one? I want to a woman who Yeah, y'all get a lot of celebrity d ms, don't you usually? I mean, I've been sucking slept since I was in high school, not sucking the red fires line. I'm superstars as I was nineteen, Well that was eight year I was. I was getting your dream. I was. I was getting fluid out in in my senior year high school. I wish they were flying gay

niggers out. Well they are not. Maybe if I feel like only talk every time, I just clicked on my phone to read the homemail every time Netflix wants to tell me something I just killed. My dad's up the girlfriend who didn't exist? Like, why is it always something I don't? Just stop anyway, I'm not going to read the lengthy one, but just a tail before we get

out of here. The hotel is my husband wanted to try and m m F three some since we've only been with women before, and I was down, and we decided upon his friend who's not bad looking and a millionaire by a millionaire. If you already got the I would see that would suck me up. But my husband. Wasn't the million actually given? You chose the wrong front. The sex was good, with only a few awkward moments. It was super late and I was ready for bed.

The friends started drinking and things went downhill from there. The man came upstairs to my bedroom all night and in the morning, trying to fund me without my husband, who was asleep on the couch. He kept me up all night. I'm not actually running around the bed. I hate that game. I should have picked him out, but I didn't want him driving drum but I knew gett an uber would turn into a nightmare. So at some point he went downstairs, threw up on my floor in

three different rooms. He somehow got wax from my wax warmer all over the kitchen, and then passed out on the couch while my husband and I cleaned up everything. He woke up at noon and tried to blame me for the mess when I confronted him. And now I'm going back to women from your twenty nine white fan from Detroit. Oh damn, you've been picking all the white people. Oh don't do that. I'm just saying, Emily, are you listening. No, She tweeted this. Wait, so what did Are we supposed

to give her advice? No, it's just it was the tail. We're just about to laugh at her. They leave bits. That was my advice. I don't know all can you imagine you think about to get it in and it's like she said something was good though besides like the awkward parts. No, they never got to it. He got too funked up. Everybody passed out. See. And also that is one thing that where you can actually give some

advice from. Sometimes y'all get so nervous to do ship that you want to do that you get so wasted. And I know that's a lot of like sex club. I've never drunk in my life. Yea, my whole life. This is so crazy. I was just having a conversation with how much energy non drinkers be having, Like, I don't fucking get it. You don't ego with he's a comedian ego with No. I know a lot of comedians, me and him. He's never drinking either. I know our

COAJ doesn't drink. Who's the other no person? I know that Mouse Jones on Frantendic Loud from the Daily Show. He's never drunk either. Bro. Maybe it comes from not being held down, like I just never I'm very much stuff. I would say stuff, but I know what I like and what I don't like, Like I've never been a woman, never gonna attract to him. I never I saw how negatively drinking affected my childhood, like my biological parents or wild so like I'm never gonna do. They say that's

why I don't didn't drink. I guess I have that experience with cigarettes, Like I've never smoked a cigarette a day in my life, and I think that maybe they did a really good job with like the day. Yeah, well no, because I've done drugs and I love alcohol, but I've never smoked a cigarette a day of my life. Have you done? Even because like both my parents smoked back a day and I used to hate, like the smell I used to make me cough. I hate its cigarette.

I don't even mind whatever I tell people I've never drink smoke there like, oh, how are you have fun? I'm like, are you gonna have? I just have fun? But also I'm around it all the time and I have nothing against I've been to product with people are doing cocaine and doing all this stuff. Hey, it doesn't hinder dating life. Sometimes when you can't have a cocktail with somebody, For some people, it hit does it on

their end. For me, I don't care, but then a field back, but like, why don't I if you're not gonna drink, I'm not going to drink, Like, well, that's I guess not. I actually snapped out of doing that because I realized how annoying it was. Shout up to

my home girl. Actually not that Emily, but one of my good friends in l A that I always go out with doesn't drink, and people will always like ask me, like oh, because we'd be going to tables popping like bottles and niggas, and I'll get a table for us. Sometimes she won't drink. I'll be like, oh, do you want pillo greeno? And people will like think she's like trying to be stuck up or something, and I'm like, yeah,

I never actually kind of feel bad for her. Sometimes I never pressure, but I to be honest to make her feel comfortable. I get as most little as lit as I can. You should because I'm I don't want to hinder your fun because I'm gonna have fun regardless. But I can tell it bothers her when I'm like that fun, I'm gonna have fun. But also like there's like zero percent alcohol beer now, like they have a

Heineken zero, but then's the comfortable sails. But there's people like I know a lot of drinkers that when they go out, just to feel like, you know, to not feel out of place, they'll just do a mock tail or zero like many I'll get, I'll get a Shirley Temple or some sprite or something like that. If I yeah, But I also don't care if everyone else is drinking and they see it, I'm not drinking. If that bugs them,

that's a you problem, because I'm fine. I chose to be at this barrow over the I'm still lit and not born. I will say, though, tell me if y'all do this, even you, it's done a non drinker. Sometimes people people that don't drink, I'd be like, wow, how were they before? You thinking that all the time? Do you? What do you mean when someone tells me they don't drink, I'm like, I don't think that because I know what you why I don't drink. So I always assume that

there's people who have similar reasons. A lot of times I tell people I don't drink. They do go They're like, oh, you an alcoholic and you crash the car and killed seven people. I'm like, oh, baby, no, I've just never done it. Like yeah, usually sometimes it blows the mind, but other people are like, oh, okay, cool, Well I'll tell you what to be able to have gotten in that you haul sober, sober being at home. I'm just

a hole. It's in change for the game. That's not that really does up the story a little, that makes the story even more wild. Okay, well we're running out of tam. We passed it and we want to say, a keem you were sucking lit. I'm really glad. It was really fine. It was super fun being here. I'm glad to finally be on you guys. I know tell people where to find you. You can find me at a chem Woods on Instagram. A K E. M woulds trying to get ten thousand followers only have seven thousand fingers,

cars Um. You can go to our website to keem Woods dot com a K E E m would dot com toward dates. Uh. If you're do and you need help with your dick picks, you can text mere six. You don't have to add that out. I don't care. Come on, I'm keeping in there. If you changed put for us some years, that's that's it. Facebook two, I guess if you're a hundred, if you're my mom, uh and for us check us out on patreon dot com

back slash Horrible Decisions. Um. If you need to search it, type it in and you can get all the bonus content, including the London homeless guy almost sucked And yet he's just on Patreon. It's on paton all right, so check that out. And this has been yet another episode of horrible decisions. Bye bye