Ep 279: Enthusiastic Consent (Ft. Luis of SuciaNYC)

if y'all watching on the YouTube? Baby, what do YouTube do? YouTube? Anyways, guys were joined today by a good friend of mine. Hello, we have Louise from Susia b K. Right now, are are y'all expanding? We're trying to grow. We're trying to evolve me. We're trying to to to make sure that our name represents that evolution. I love that. Now y'all know, Susie has comprised with three people, myself, my fiance, Organa, and our business partner. Gecko Jones is amazing man. Gecko

Gecko is um. He's something else. He's a powerhouse. He does he does a production, he does a lot of He's also the soundtrack. He's a DJ. A lot of our parties, Um, Susi the space or Susia the brand, what su is? It's a lifestyle. Can we get into Susia because some of us su like what it means? What Susia? Alright, So Susia originally was a party I did with my homegirl DJ Juicy What's Up Juicy years ago at madame x And it came up because Uh,

I like the words. She liked the word. We we knew what it meant, and it was that was basically it. But when we um started up all over again, right, it was like, Okay, we're doing these parties. And I think Susia is a dope fit because it is the feminine derivative of dirty you know really yeah, dirty girl. Oh I just thought it was dirty. It's dirty girl. Susio is dirty guy. Susio is dirty guy. Yeah, you know what it's for me, It's kind of like like

anti patriarchy type ship. I like Susia because, um, it signifies in my mind a woman that is behaving like a man. And if that's the case, then all the women in my life are Susiasm and I love that and I appreciate and respect that, and I encourage them that's way to thinking that way. That's the only way to think of it for me, you know, especially being Latino and what mean Wait is that where you're from? From Nicarawa up. So let's about is it brand? Is it a space? Is it like a physical It's it's

a it's a physical space and it's a brand. Uh. It's a secret location in Bushwick. It's a speak easy kind of vibe. Uh. It's a safe space that was created with the intent to be um a safe space for black and brown woman and for an l g B t q I family. Can I tell the audience now that sounds cute? Can I tell the audience y'all? This is the space that I go in Brooklyn when I've spoke on the last two years about finding a black lifestyle club, which was actually introduced to me by Marge.

And then let me ask the question that we've heard about it. Yes, I want to ask you if it's a speake easy, if it was meant to be private, why promote the space and how do you keep yourself safe from I would say this, I would say this, Well, no, no, that's actually that's actually a great question, because the whole point of what we're doing is to make it accessible for black and brown humans to be in safe spaces, in places where they could explore the sensuality and sexuality

without judgment. The reason it's important to have them in the blacks basis because we have different hangups, we have different cultural things going on. Even with the words Susia itself, you know, RUPs people the wrong way all the time. Why yeah, uh not nothing, especially older women they're like Susie like that. And then when I talked to him about it, it's a whole flip. You know, why are

we promoting it. We're promoting a lifestyle acceptance, and we're promoting black and brown people taking control of the narrative. It would be your goal for some that you just said that that's actually well, the reason I have said regarding the word whore and regarding the word slut like and having and having the way people are like, oh my god, that's a bad word, the way that you reclaimed it and explained it in a way to where it's like, well, actually, why is it a bad word?

You can make it an empowering word. You can make it mean whatever you wanted to meet. What's the goal for it to? Like? What? What? What could you ultimately? Um, there are several goals, you know, we have goals as as a unit. Susia NYC also does dance parties. That's the thing about it. We do dance parties in our space that it's actually what I thought it was like, it's both to check it out. It made me mad that but I got brought I got brought to the play party first day. Let me say I got brought

to the play party first day. Did not know about I don't even know. Yeah, yeah, we didn't know friend. He knew my my ex, he's my example, so he knew him. So we went to the play party and then he's like, oh, let's go to the Sunday party, same spot. So I get drunk as fun, thinking oh well we can go downstairs and funk now, and they're like so actually no today, there's no Yeah, it's got that type of party, and I was like shit, but literally it just makes you that comfortable. Everyone there is

like great looking. But yeah, I didn't know about the I learned about the play party, then the party party. It's it's Susy A play which is his name speaks for self. We do our sex positive events. We also do our mixers um for people are interested. We do game nights. We do workshops built around people's questions are. One of our workshops where I really enjoyed was how to identify toxic masculinity in the play space. You know, yeah, yeah,

you talk about it. You acknowledge that also sometimes women carry those traits. You teach people about enthusiastic consent. You let him know, um, when it's time to reset, you let him know. It's particular men or people who exhibit those uh toxicities that other bodies are not there for their pleasure. You know, you're not there to go get a nut. You're there to be part of a community, and you're there to build and do something a little better. So you know, I'm always maybe that was Mandy on

that Sunday. They're not, but I make sure everybody can. I don't know, I don't want to make I think Mandy being there was was was really dope because you you bring that energy and it was dope and it was for me my power. I didn't hi power high. I like high power, not pol energy. She's giving however, yeah, you know, hi, that's my brand, so that that's dope. Talking about the panels um something I had in the main questions that I'm curious about, of course, to get

off the top. So I've done some like coverage on like sex clubs and will makes them legal. But I realize everybody says something different, and I think it's dope to understand and put it at the top. How is doing a play party legal in your space? How is it being well, damn grow with the cops that there are no laws against people having sex, a group sex, having sex, having b D s M. Why do people are so scared to do it? Then because there aren't

laws around because people are afraid of sex. It's actually considered then a private public space. So your space is private. Yeah, it's a private space, but you're having sex, is what? Because it's not that someone's you know, public sex would be like I'm thinking outside now, we're we're we're in a safe space. That's true. I'm in the t Fridays parking lot once. That's fun. That's definitely public sex. That's fun.

Which I was eighteen. Shut up, Wait, neither of us had an apartment because now it would be catch So you did you have any like So I'm gonna assume you started with the dance party, did you? Uh No, We opened up the space with Incentive being a play party. We were used like scared of when you started it because we were my my, my fiance and I put a lot of years and are you know shout out to Pam and X our our primary couple should We started building this community a few years ago and then

other people started adding on to it. My biggest fear was is and always will be exposing the people I love and care for two elements that aren't cool, and also exposing people because that's that space. Even though to save the space and it may not be for somebody who's hiding trauma, doesn't really know what's going on, and and the naked body will trigger them. To be honest, I feel like, yes, that can happen, but luckily with spaces like this, it does the opposite and it opens

people up. It's part Luis. I wanted you and your fiance to be a part of my Memorial Day party. We were talking about it because the environment that you create, so for anyone that was able to attend, Dear Memorial Day weekend, I threw a party, a private party. After the FED dinner. I spoke with T and Mal and everybody so much the the stress and anxiety that I had building up to that play party. And I know a lot of people listening or like, y'all should do more,

where's a horrible one coming? And that was my first time. You don't know how anxious I was in not wanting to be someone that triggered someone to have a negative experience, and not not not to be a part of someone experiencing something that traumatic for the rest of their lives. And those type of parties, which is why the vetting process was so crazy, which is why normally a lot of these these parties are hard to get into because the vetting is is you gotta know, you gotta know somebody,

you gotta catch a vibe first. But that party, when I threw it, we at one point mails very um ambitious. It wanted to have like, well, maybe we could have a hundred and forty people in year. I said, no way, I want to cap it. The amount of people even allowed to go into the space. It was very important that we didn't. Hey, we create created an environment with rules. But be even with rules, people break them. People also don't understand boundaries. People don't understand, um, the consent and

what is what do you always say enthusiastic consent? And before we get into the layers of this, before we get into our vanilla ship, I wanted him a part of it because you've had the best consent speeches that I have partakes in. I've I've brought hell of people to your spot. Now I'm a fucking chaperone. Now, so the sex clubs in Bushwick, But could you just give us I'm gonna cueue you up. What would an enthusiastic consent speech sound like if I came into Susia play

for the first time. First, I'm a little overdressed, right, I gotta got it. You would have to take off some clothes. No, not really, a son. I think you gotta earn. I think any part of you you definitely gotta earn that you're over addressed for the conste speech. I'm just thinking when you said that, I'm thinking that dick swing keeping down with box. We're about to talk. This is welcome, guys. I'm more personality forward. Um, all right, so we're in the circle of people. Hey, guys, how's

everybody doing tonight? I want to welcome you to our space, all right. I know it takes a lot of bravery to be in here, and for that alone, I want to thank each and every one of you for being inside here and for taking the time to come inside here and be one with everybody. Now. I don't want anyone at all to feel pressure to do anything, because the main thing is that you're here. Now, we're gonna talk about enthusiastic consent, what it looks like, how it feels,

and what it is. Enthusiastic consent number one is the bedrock of our community. Enthusiastic consent is when you approach someone and you maybe want to touch their knee as you're talk and then understand, we're all vulnerable. We're all the different states of vulnerability right now, so you have to ask, do you mind if I touch your knee

while I talk to you? Some people are handsy, but it's different when you're naked, or you're close to being naked, or you can be fully clothed in the space where the sexual energy is really high. Right, So you want to be really respectful of people's hidden traumas. If you have a person who's in the space and is dealing with someone and you come up behind them and just even if it's an innocent caress and small they're back,

that could really trigger them. You may not even know about it, but I'm sure you don't want to be responsible for triggering somebody and leaving that person dealing with the mess the next day, you know, because a lot of times people won't show it in the moment. All right. Another thing I want people to be really, really aware of is that you need to be aware of your alcohol and drug You have to be in charge of

your yeses and your nose. Saying no it's sexy as fuck because that lets you decide and puts you in a position to say, hey, I don't want that now. If you ask someone if you could be in their space and they're kind of like, okay, okay, take that as a noe, just back up, reset, because there are a bunch of people who don't know how to say no, and they may just go through the motions and just go through the motions, and then the next day they're

left with like, why why did I do that? I don't want to go back ever again, you know, so it's important for all of us here to take care of each other. Um, that's kind of like a bit of what I say. And then I was like, literally, this is literally like and it makes the fact that you let the room know that Noah is sexy, like you'll let everyone in the room. You can say no here, And a lot of people assume, like, oh my god, do I have to have sex if I go to

a play party? For me those parties and I'm start to instrupt you. But this is something like it's I think if people are curious about going to parties, go to different parties, go to go to the whack ones, go to the good ones. Because honestly, if you come to anything we our name is on it. You skipped all these steps. You went from not you, You went from having like fucking fried steak to for naming young and you don't know the steps it takes to get there.

What's the ideal amount of people for a party if you could be in your idea for me, not for any beginning or anything for you me, um in our space, okay, in any space for me. I like, I like um open more plans. The reason I like open floor pants is because they're they're less rooms, they're less stores, and there's less of an opportunity something fund up could happen where she said. She said, that's interesting, that's very interesting. No, yeah,

it's I thought. I thought, because this maybe someone's first time having private rooms would be a benefit. You're like, actually not, in my opinion, if it's your first time, don't even try to fun talk to people. Maybe give each other littlehead of something that I don't come in my first time talking to somebody. They thought I was ready to fun, but you talked too long to somebody my friend. Oh yeah, because I was just like, I'm nervous,

let me just talk. I realized after for five minutes they were like all right, And I was like, oh ship like weather movies. I've talked myself out of pussy so many times a party. Yeah, I'm I'm as a rebel dude, like I'm like, hey, um um, I'll ask you about your life. And some people I learned over the years come into a space with alter egos. You know, it protects them. So WHI I'm asking questions and they open up and I'm like, yeah, so, so when was

last too you saw your dad. We just talked about this. That is my thing that I've so if you guys are in a space where you either want to be a unicorn or you want to add someone as a third and I just recently saw the difference between us. In why I prefer this environment, it's because I've gone there and I had to ask people did we funk? Like I don't remember, don't don't really know your name,

don't know anything about your life. And to me, that's been a safe place for me in terms of engaging sexually. I'm expressing myself sexually. We're having a great time, but the emotional aspect of getting to know both women and men to me as draining. And it's probably why during my twenties I've had so many relationships that didn't amount to relationship. But I enjoy with women just sex. I don't like the clean nature. I don't like the knowing much about them, and so the sex cluff is allowed.

It's great that it's amazing that or even in situations like I've been asked before, the difference between like swingers and polyamorisms and and my thing, you know, and from my experience, there's a real blurry line is there because the longer you're in it, the more you realize it's like, Okay, these definitions are are very pigeonholing because for instance, uh, my partner and I we may fund other people, but it's always in this in the same space. Do we

love some of the people we suck? Yeah? Like, yeah, we've known some of these people for like six seven years. You know, our primary couple who we started this community with. You know, those are people's you know, like we love the funk out of them. Um. But do my partner and I engage separate? No, we don't. You know, It's not like she goes on a date and I'm at work wondering what the fun is going on? How long have you been with your with your seven years? So

you have a kid, right, two kids? Do your kids or your family know about what you do? And I have to talk to my son, um about he's seventeen year old daughter and seven teen year old son. So yeah, grown, I got I got two grandkids around. Yeah old Um. With my son, it was it was an easy conversation. He's a dope kid. We spoke about what sex positivity means to him, you know, and and the and behold look like I mean, you're fucking already. Yeah, there's a there's a lot of Um, they have access to more

listen I've ever had at that age. But what they don't have is the is applicable knowledge or the wisdom behind it. So it's it's all theory, you know. So um.

Part of the reason we have a space, part of the reason why are space is the way it is is because I wanted, uh, people like my son and and and my little brother Milo to feel safe and to feel comfortable, to be like yo, and my little brother Milo's you know, it's my little bro wasn't always my little brother, but he's always been my little brother inside,

and now he's my little brother outside, you know. And and if I could be part of a space where my son and my brother and and other people of the l g B t q I community could feel comfortable and then assists heads could come in there and not function it up, then then my daughter, because I feel like with women, they're more like, oh my god,

like I don't want my dad here. I mean, that's that's she's way three, Like she's obviously fucking like like her man's pulled out game is not good her grandfather. I know what's going on, but like you didn't feel like your kids were just and maybe that's how you raised them. They were listen. It's not like I'm explicit about what goes on. I just you know, when my son is like, you know, I'm part of a sex positive community. I promote sex positivity and enthusiastic consent whatever

that means. It's a broad spectrum, you know. I don't need to to really get too deep and with my son because he is my son, he's seventeen. I don't want to suck his head up. For people that are listening that have kids in't that like tween teenage, like and maybe you're in the lifestyle or have other partners, Like what would be your advice for like bringing those

partners around? What do you think those conversations in terms of what Because we stick it here and in this our auntie and our uncle, well we know, like let's say maybe you're maybe you're in and you're you know what I mean like that for me, I haven't. I think our pamin next may have met my son a few times. They definitely have met a few times, but it was kind of in passing um when because as we do so many events in the space that we live in, like I don't be having niggas over. I'm like, yo,

I'm not. There's not an event. I'm not you know, no, like I'm chilling. Yeah, I've been in hostility in my whole adult life. I'm always around a lot of people. So it's just like you know when when I when I get alone time, it's like fun everyone and just your kids are coming over. So then what advice would you have if someone is say lifestyle um and maybe has a non traditional, non monogamous relationship introducing someone that

may not like their children. The team be honest talked about the beauty of relationships and how many different forms it can have. You know what, I think that's important, Like why wouldn't you want your kid to have a

healthy outlook on sex? Because if you're doing that and you think about the journey you had to go through, and think about the ship you had to go through, and and all the handgups you had to let go of, and the things that you still feel when you're in the moment, sometimes, why would you want your kid to go through that? You know, why would you want to say if your daughter the challenge of saying, you know

what I own my pussy? Yeah you do. I don't need to know what you're doing with it as a dad, but I could want to make sure that whatever you're doing is because you want to do it, and also not to mention like we are. For some reason, I feel like people can think that the conversation around your sexual orientation is easier than like the type of relationships you have, Like I could tell my kid I'm game,

but maybe I can't tell them I'm Polly. And I think it's just had enough years of open and like understanding what that means, you know, seventh seen, I did not know what Polly meant. I never heard of the word polly, even a seventeen super sex. But that's not familiar with all the terms that we've learned even over the last six years. I learned from a show on Showtime from sex for Polly. Oh no, no, you're right, No,

it's called polyamory on Showtime. A matter of fact, one of the chicks her sister now, is a Patreon like subscriber of ours, and um that was when I first like was like, oh, like I like women like this, What could I be in the trouble like? And my brain started to work And I think that was like my biggest awakening into understanding multiple relationships because I knew polygamy wasn't something I wanted right but even because I

was like, yeah, me neither. If you could funk out the pussy on need other dick, it wasn't even on the deck like they don't they don't funk each other. Oh yeah, no, I need to be a the bitch. I brought up your your kids because we had a vanilla ship we wanted to do, and Mandy was like, oh, he's a dad, let's be perfect. Look ahead, vanilla vanilla ll We're not giving you a vanilla shake right now. Basically, there was a viral clip of a guy bringing McDonald's

to his son. I don't know if you saw it, and the woman basically spazzed out because she has two other kids, and she was like, neighbor, what the fun? Where's the food for my So I'm gonna play a little bit of this clip just so you can see it. Daddy come here with one and for my child, but I have three other kids. We have one kids together. But you only want to come or break one thing to McDonald's. One about my other kids? How can you

can't see my other kids? McDonald's. Poe like this, feel like you're not going to sit here and make my other kids feel left out and you're only bringing one child something you may agree with that. Wait do you what about? Okay? I don't know if you've ever been broken your life? Okay, do your do you do your kids? Do you? They did their mothers have other children? H No? Okay, so I feel you said just one? Actually see god? She said she looks like you have multiple baby mother

You did say mothers? I feel right away? Yea? Anyway, right, isn't that she said you got took? But she say you gotta beard, you light skin. It's different baby moms. You'll pull out a game week. I was like, play parties, you know, big moments. Okay, you said you agree and you're broke? Is the broke days? What if? That was? Like? I don't know, because you want to do something? You know what I did in my broke is the broke days?

I would have fucking because you could buy cheap ice cream and whatever, a little mixer, throw that it in a blender and make enough of the three kids. The problem with it is as as a as a parent, even if you're outside or just just an adult, why would you want to single out one child because when you single out that child, they deal with different percussions

of being the only ones in. Yes, kind of agree, so like I can't even believe I'm doing like two things at one time or thinking two things at one time. Here I agree, and then the other like turning point of this, I'm like, but would that keep somebody from being a good dad? Like, for example, I never had that experience my parents like group together, but I do remember one of my home girls just being like, oh,

like he didn't take me and my sister anywhere? What if he just couldn't afford to fucking kids in the moment? And then what if he had to think, like you know what I'm saying, like if there are more kids in the house, I've got to do this with all the kids, and I just can't, so I'll just ignore it. But I also agree with you because how fucked up is it? But also do you not pick your kid up and take them to go somewhere or do you

have to take all the other kids. No, no, But if you're spending time something as small as as a shake like on some real ship, we I think a lot of times we we project thoughts of niggas being that broke. But he looked like he had some gear on. Not to look at the video and look at the fit in the video. I bet you he's looking, you know, decently, presentable. You know. So those are financial decisions you make beforehand.

And if you allow those decisions like sucking a chick who got mad kids raw and getting her pregnant, know that there's other things attached to that, and and and and and I don't I'm not saying you're not you're not responsible for raising them, but the little ship like a fucking milkshake or a bag of chips. Don't single out your kids like that. It's weird. I grew up um. So my mom has two baby daddies. One of the

mes got deported back to Haiti and my dad. When my mom did ask for more help because she was taking care of all of us, we had to all get DNA tests and we didn't speak to him for a year, and it became very awkward because she just needed help, even just for the two of us out of the three, and so that's hard I understand though from all aspects. Where to me that to me, I put that on my mom even growing up, and we've kind of had this conversation as an adult, like you

pro created with man that ended up being deported. I don't think my father should have showed up for my other sister. He did for Christmas and holidays, but always not as much as he showed up for me and my other sister. And I and I never faulted my dad because he's living his life. He created me and my sister and then he had another son. So to me, I never thought it was right for my mom to expect him to show up as a father for my younger sister, knowing that the other person she created this

kid with couldn't show up. And so to me, that was just unfair. So when I saw this clip, what about when he picked you guys up? Did you guys? Did you pick up all three of you? A um, For the most part, yes, he did. Okay, for the most part, yes, from from what I can remember growing up, he he did get all of us. But I know Christmas, Holidays and birthdays I don't remember him really doing her birthday and holiday specifically, she'll get one gift. Me and

my other sister got a lot of gifts. She would just be she would have something, but it would never be to the extent of me and my sisters. But I never expected him to show up for that way. She got a whole different daddy, and before her daddy got deported, he would show up only for her. The Haitian daddy like my sister's uh father. Me and my sister never got nothing from his ass. My dad showed up more for my sister than her dad showed up for her. So I just but I believe that that

was my mom's responsibility. Any any any hang ups and how the father showed up, what's her responsibility? My mom, you're a single mother now hate that you are, but these are these were your choices and men, I'm saying, what's the It was her responsibility to just show up as a mom, maybe makeup where these niggas shows, not to make up for I never expected my my little

sister's dad to be hard dad. And even though my dad showed up more for her, to me, that was a responsibility where Ms. Tammy maybe you show up a little bit more and we kind of tas No, we grew up in a single parent house. I saw my dad whenever the nigga chose to show up, and we got gifts, and he made my mom feel like ship because he bought us all the name brand ship my mom couldn't afford because she's running a single parent household.

But in terms of how both of our dads showed up, I don't think I ever expected my sister's dad to show up for me as a child, and in vice versa. Growing up now, I understand the difference I feel as a father of two children having two grandkids if I were to have a child with a woman who has like two other kids, um, just because of just growing up Latino, Like, those are my kids. So that's a conversation you gotta have early. No, of course, got a conversation.

But if we're talking about a milkshake like Orphandonald order and there's niggas actually trying to fucking justify, like how broke are you? Like if you're respond no, I'm not gonna lie to me. That's my problem with social media, Like bro handle that to me. That's something that you videotape your nigga dropping off food for his kid and made him seem like a bad dad for taking care of his child. So that to me was nuts. Do

you know what? I feel like he could have the only thing you so, you know, like a woman is not wrong at all? In oh, no, I think she's wrong. I was gonna saying, I'm sorry. Why can't the owners also be on the nigger for knowing who he's putting his nicken? You know, like if if you like, I'll be honest. How many times have we dated someone and they do some ship months down the road? They were like, what the fuck it right right away? Plan B fifty five dollars maybe more than I know what a nigga

is gonna be a good baby dad? Get crazy, my whole reals acting crazy, and I'd be like, damn, who then have you come like valid? And I especially would love I don't know who I became less what I'm saying, love make you do crazy things, and then he might got a new bitch and you're like, fuck you and this McDonald's come back to that hole. That's where it's always another You took it, You took an extreme. I did but so does she. But anyway, get four bags

and chips dollars. He could have walked it like tip of non inflated life. Do you live in I just went to the grocery store for the first time in a long time. Chips are not four for one. I don't know where them niggas them? Chips is hot? Do you know? Fetter cheese is sixteen dollars and nigga? That was that was at food Bizarre. I wasn't even fet a cheese was sixteen dollars. I was like, let me get some short rooms fifty eight dollars. I said, no,

it's staying in there. I also did not get the sixteen dollars a cheese, the sixteen bro I went some foods five this one. Black people like to doller anyway, hope, okay all the time. I know, but I don't even feet a hole. But you eat cheese, but not fatter. You just don't eat fetter, but you eat cheese. No, I like to get a plate of it's called a shark. Oh, she said, I like sharkucci sharkui Haitian nigger. I was corrected, shark Wait, what is it? What is that? It was

so embarrassing again. I mean, I don't know how to say it like that man the French new or the creole which one? Because Haitian is not French, bitch, it's a broken French. His is not anyway, He's a special Haitian and it's beautiful and it is all right when they be pulling that, I don't do that. Don't you don't do that? Don't like you? Just we stop? Welcome to stop? Can we start doing that? No? See that's your French person be like differently. Horror is our next segment.

Sex tip. It could be receiving giving something for women men they they am I don't know. Give us a sexip, Louise a sex tip. I think the biggest thing that I've learned in my experience as as as an adult is listen, wenna that okay, okay, like an actual take give me some freaking we like I love eating pussy like a my things. Right here we go now joining you like getting my finger just maybe like up to the second digit inside uh and concentric circles also consensual

you're you think a lot of big words. Circles just get a little bigger and get smaller again. Circles, circles, you know, that's my favorite. Pressure pressure on the claturist itself on the and then you know you sound like right there, But the thing is what I've noticed the baseball turn that way and then start moving down like right where the ass is at. But you're selling the pussy and putting pressure on that area. There's a bunch of nerves there too. So as far as eat and pussy, like,

that's that's my ship. You I mean, I like to think of the beer. I can tell you who I know. If you get this far in life and don't know how to fuck or eat pussy or suck dick, then it's not Yeah, definitely. Men have no idea that they need to start with just a little bit and you can maybe quick though it's like and I think they just can't grasp that, like like you have to stop thinking it's it's not. The pussy is very sensitive. There's

a lot of nerve endings. Just give a little and we will get a lot and we will let you know if we want more. Like I've had that been really okay with it, and then suddenly I've pulled someone's risk closer to me, Like let someone lead you more than we push you away, because nothing is worse than doing this when someone's eating your pussy. I get so embarrassed to do that because then I gotta explain how terb like like going to teach you. Yeah, mean, that's

that's what you're gonna get stuck with. I know it's up to you, not in my pussy. Power, I'll take it. I wanted to see a sub the power. Let's figuring out you like to be a sub. Okay, I'm the dumb over here, so you see it's a dynamic. This is how this is working. Sider line for this show. I own a sexpob basically, So how did you grow up? And what what did you think you were gonna do? Um? I wanted to be a teacher. Yeah, it's still I mean I'm a musician. Um that as I do music fingers,

that's not my focus right now. Look, I hate you edit too. Should we call you Carlos Santana? That's awful? Was not ready actual? Now this has given whole nid. Thank you, thank you same. Um. The question was what did I think I'd be doing? Definitely not doing this, But I am I am, I'm always been a community building in a community organizer on whatever level, you know. So that's that's always been my thing. Um, and I happened to like fucking right, like I gotta thanks for it.

Tell me if you think this is dirty? Yes, yes, okay, I don't know. We had this conversation or if I did another interview where somebody it was like a conversation like I think it was me and you, and we were talking about our parents, and I was like, I think I've always been kind of sexual, but not in this way of like my mom grew me up to be a horn. We were talking about the hord baby. I was like, oh I knew. I was like, you know, do you think you grew up like that? Like, do

you think you had it? You grew up to be a horr Um? I think I I was a fun boy for a minute. You don't say what your tribal tats and beard? But I got those after that? Well, no, it's happened. Did you have the kids and the tattoos? It happened. Since I'll say this, um, and this is directly related to the question. It took a lot of women to raise me. It took my mom my, thea uh my daughter's mother influenced me a lot, you know, my son's mother and the woman I'm with right now

to get where I'm at. So before or I was honestly, I didn't realize that I was, um a demisexual, which is I like connections. So I was trying to fuck and finding myself like this isn't cool, and then being in relationships and always I've only I've been in four relationships. What's the difference though, between a demisexual and a sapio sexual. Sapio sexual is really just more the brain, like just thinking about things, like talking like like Demi is actual.

Demi is a connection, like I want an emotional collect connection with somebody you are. Demi is fun, That's all. I'm trying to figure this out because it ain't really Stepio hurt. Yeah, I think it's not me, not like it's hard I do, like don't you don't know? But they loved me and giving Demi giving Demi. He loves me. He has a big bite, Oh my god. And maybe I drop this gun off to this homeboy for him off. Oh he picked it up. He said it's in there,

but hood because it's different. I can't explain this ship, bro. I love hooding. You've been to jail? Me deal inid me? Do you want to know something? Trolin not your person. I've been day and recently has a great job. Whatever. Do you know? We connected and bonded one night drunk over how many times we've been to jail. I was like, look at us, look at who would have thought? Oh my god, like what about you? And he was like, damn there that one. And I was like, oh, I

got me. Tell what you know been a jail what does it matter? You know? Damn that's a felon girl. No, he was like seven misdemeaners. I mean no, Like I think that we can all eyes above it, and uh yeah, that's great. I love that that we connected over jail words and yo, I've been a lot of like four times. No, way we're at that's nut. That's nut. That's nuts. So technically you are a community builder and an education Like

you're still kind of an education totally. That's kind of the role that that I've been privileged to be allowed to do in the community. Okay, So it's like cool if this is the role that that that I'm lucky to be doing, and that's fine. I'm good with it with your family raising you what what's the tea on any of the family members that like anyone not sport? My mom knows because my partner's older. Um, were you mad? No, my mom is cool at fun. Man Like, she's cool

as fun. It's one of those things where it's like she she she was just open enough with me growing up, Uh where she you know, she didn't hide things from me, but she didn't bullshit me. My mom manby, but she was seventeen. So it's one of those things where like I was lucky that she was mature enough to handle a ship. But also you know, she was just open about things. I never felt like I couldn't go and talk to her. Um, so I need to talk to

her about my swinger parties. Probably not, it's cool, but I don't want to hear like, oh you got it honest, Like, let's that's a lot, you know what I'm saying, and and like Mama's boy last week. Yeah, but also it's funny that you say that too because with this with us having his podcast and he shares, No, it wasn't he covered his dick, he covered it. It was just his body. It was dick was not there. The dick was not there. It was just like the p But

I was like, damn, mamma, look where I'm sucking. But then show called me and try to talk about her sexual experiences and get advice from me, and I'm like, well, my no, I have my pot. And she's like, but I'm really proud of you because I didn't have this opportunity to be this open. She'll like, ask me about toys. She'll be like, oh, girl, that rolls baby, and I'm like, Ma, don't want to hear it. I'm not having that conversation with my mom. But what okay, but what about as

a man? Then? What about what the mail? The man in your life is a hardcore joble witness. Wait he didn't raise me though, Okay, okay, okay. I remember one of the funniest moments of my life. My my, my mom or not I opening. My mom was on the phone with him and she started laughing and I heard him screaming and she had the phone on him and She's like hysterically laughing. Why was it He called her

a fornicating whore? You know, ye, But I'm the hor Wow, you know that ain't good to know it's been this way for generations. So I'm like, I don't any any other family members. I don't need to talk too much people about it to too many people, uh in my family about it. My my little brother knows, you know, so if he wants to come to an event, you know, I'll make sure I'm not there because I don't want to. I was about to say, I'm not gonna lie. We've

talked about um. There was a vanilla and a couple probably last year now, where a father and son went to a sex party together, or was it a mother and daughter. I remember something like that. Have you had any like crazy experiences where people ran into each other and like I've had, I've seen a brother and sister but they weren't doing anything, and somebody was triggered by the presence of a brother and sister they went together, hold his pants down in front of his sister and said,

there you see his dick now, And she flipped. She flipped. Seeing things like that or why we fucking curate because you don't know, you don't know what. Then I was right there, I was right there watching. I was like, oh my god, that that ship. She really did that you know they went together. Yeah, but they were fully dressed. They weren't doing anything. It was, but they like, why go together? Why? Man? I don't. I don't mean I

do I judge. I don't. I don't think there's I judged. Like, you know, if you're going in there and its support system and you're not sucking each other, you know, like yeah, I mean like, I think it comes down to your perspective and what you're comfortable with what I'm saying now,

it's your space. Do you have hard limits for any kinks that cannot happen like ship that involves like blood, unless it's specifically I just got lightheaded thinking about sucking Orlando talking about that ship with a butterfly maybe like czy Orlando. The last party I went to his spot, Orlando was there in a whole fucking fishnet body suit. I said, Orlando, why are you dressed like this? Like because I'm bad, I'm a bad bitch or some ship, my god, but outside of blood, you're cool with any

other king happening ship. I mean stuff like that. No, I don't want to yuck anyone's yums or someone likes that cool not here they black? Oh you did. I ask you, what has been the craziest thing you found in cleaning your spot? Oh? I fuckings for sure? Tampon? No, No, that's not the look I mean. I grew up in a household full of woman that wasn't crazy. My mom sent me to the store again time pans like that ship when in the storm, thirteen years old, getting like

fucking assorted. Remember a little boy, but you do use them, don't the big ones that they got him? Home? Boy? They ship? So wait, I thought of tampon the what else did you see? I my fit my hand, I was pulling the sheet back, and there was a used them okay, and it was very discolored. Oh, I didn't have no idea where it was at? What the shiver like my split crawled in a wave up here toped my hand offs kind of shipped. I didn't know whose it was. It was the next day I was cleaning

and it was a nuts ship in there too. It was a look. I didn't inspect it. I saw, I saw quickly, but you know, and you gotta chill. I got a chill? How and why lay the way? Have you already pussy so hard that you forgot to breathe and then oh wow, wow, wow, wow wow you in here. Oh, I'm gonna bring it up. That's happened with this man right here, biggest Spanish all the year Apple Podcast said this is the English. Yeah, man, that's like one of my Mexican girl and you've re clueless. You know, I

don't speak Mexican. She you know what she does mean when I get real, get real, she'd be like, bitch, here you go with your chicken. Ship says that we just go out with each other. She's black when we all says, and we just be going on. But I love because like any when I got my grill, she was like, there you go, that's the chicken right now. Oh my god, I've never I've gotten short of breath. All right, all right, it's really you're about to die.

He Almo died. So there's that. Well, we've got a homemail and the reason I wanted you to join in lists because yes, we could give advice, but you may know what that man would want. So hey, ladies, Love the Podcast, got a new partner and we have really great sex. And today he texted me and said, make it exciting for me when I come back, please, don't judge me because I actually started freak out goods so insecure, I'm like, oh my god, damn. On the camera he

said this pussy is so good, So I'm confused. Are there any tips? Tad excitement? He's long distance things in advance does not mean your puss she isn't good to me. I think it's just sexting and flirting and trying to hype it up. I think you probably. I think she should ask him what excites him? Why? Like why guests, like, Yo, what do you want me to do? Because one thing I have noticed is that, you know, relationships and conversations with other people, is that a lot of times us

fellas tend to get like repetitive with our ships. So it's like, Okay, you want me to excite you, what do you like? And are you willing to do the same for me? It's a negotiation, right, like like like this is not just giving giving, giving, giving and not getting, So like, what do you like? I think there's a really easy answer, and I think people are so scared to ask that, but it's kind of good to put the ball in their court. Um. I was going to

suggest the checklist when he wasn't watched Sex Cells. The first episode, Um, it's all about uh sexual healing and ship. Long story short, I go hang out with Freddy Gibbs and him and I talk about sex so much. We'll be talking about like the different ship we do, the

ship we're scared of. So in the episode, we meet with someone who does sex therapy, jet Setting Jasmine, and we go through this b D s M checklist and it was so fucking funny because we go through this list and everything he said no to, no color, no this, no that, And literally after the episode he was like, Nick, I gotta tell you about all the ship I just did. And there is a yes no maybe on the b D s M checklist. You just gotta google it. It'll pop up. But we kind of don't know until we

go there, you know what I'm saying. And that's just like a really basic, kind of fun way to figure out what that person is into. And it might seem like you're giving them homework, but it's so exciting to talk about in fun. And like even me on the list, I said no to something that I did a week ago, you know what I mean? So I think we just don't know and Also a note could be you may not feel like doing something with a certain individual that you're open to do with someone else. But I think

it's crazy that you say that. I'm sure you do a peggy. Well, I would think just then outside of doing ing, outside of doing a checklist, or like asking well, what what what makes you exciting? One of the things that my partner used to do is Max when we would be in bed, he would be like, play the porn that you like to watch, and he'd be like, whatever it is that you like to watch, We're gonna have have our fun, but watch what you like to watch.

And I think that that's always something I said, maybe since season one of this show, and not really season You're one, You're one of the show, is to see what the person likes to watch in their porns. Like, I think that that's very indicative of what someone's into. To me that this is why I don't like straight porn? Do I like dick a whole lot? But is that why I watch gay porn? No? I like men being sensual, I like men moaning. I like men that trim. I

don't want to Nigga fucking me and Tim. I don't know if my phorn is my my point is gay gay porn because of what I visually like to see and what I would like out of a partner, and I don't think it's very present and a lot of straight porn, and I like big old black dick. I just do baby see me all day. And I don't like unattractive women. I'm very visual in that gape point look good. I actually don't mind how the women look more than I might when a wig is bad. It's

all the wig because bid looking girl. And I'll find attractivity in it because there's something sexy about it. I like. I like shitty porn. You like wait wait wait oh yeah, am oh no, I need the Lighting movie right now because at that point for me, amateur ship is like okay, I feel like it's I'm watching um valid. I like imperfections. You know what I'm saying, Um off, dude, if you're

making me think of something. So on sex Cells, I do episode about porn and we basically highlight a top earner on Only Fans lending the plug and then Evil Angel the studio, and it was so insane because they both make crazy amounts of money. Let us specifically talks about how like she only uses an iPhone because people like amateur ship. Right, she'll do her makeup but not crazy and like maybe the camera will sunk up whatever

people are into that. And then with Evil Angel, the guy was saying to me, I was like, do you feel competition from only fans? And he's like, no, like people are watching this porn for this reason, right, Like the girl that was in there, it was just like beautiful house, all white, you see the pool in the back, need mansion, but like I don't want to see. I don't want to see. I don't want to see floral sheets and pillowcases the dope. Maybe I like that sometimes

I like that ship, give me the fancy. Her house is limp, but like but they look on the floor. Look, yeah, I'm like, I don't magic on the phone. I do like a parking lot. But clearly because I had to teach Friday experience, that's probably a thing. Now, I don't think I don't need his narrative important. I don't care, not that I'll tell you watch part of the A one like it's training me. Like I drink off in

the bath and I lived on myself. Now, y'all was playing video games and made a bet, Oh yeah, they'd be playing on basketball court lose, are gonna suck? Like that's the type of ship that I like. I like the narrative, like I love when I'm lost. No, no, even though they'll be they'll be sucking in the car and it's like this is what I did to my uber driver and now like I love, I love it.

And then I started obsessing it is it real? Like I love, but I'd be like, oh every time like she scored to make a mistake, is it really a mistake? Like I don't thinking too much, but actually I got some really basic advice. You want spice stuff, but you don't want to do too much. All you gotta do

is go to sex store. You bout the fish net body suit is like eighteen dollars and then they just ripping when they're sucking you, and it's fun, a vanilla of you that's just like but that's basic, but it's still fun because you're ripping, you're fucking, they're tearing it up and there's a whole right for the pussy. Um, how can people support you more than like even following, like what can they do to support your your brand and up here party on Sundays, just Sunday's check this out.

So it's Susia NYC. Info at Susia n y C. S u C I a NYC. Um if interested in our dance party, uh, email us via that and put Susia dance in the subject, let us know who you are. Um, same thing for play. Put Susie a play in the subject. It doesn't mean you're gonna get in, and I don't want anyone to feel upset that they didn't get in. It's usually because we cap at a certain number for both our parties. Um, we offer a premium experience. UM, I just I just want to say, this is gonna

come out super after. I'm really excited because I'm going to experience my first of them party this weekend, madus in my ID life time. So I am going. I'm excited because, Yeah, I like women. I know a lot of the women that are gonna come. A lot of the girls that I have brought are interested in coming. Um and I've never been to an all them play party, Like I gotta find somewhere to go. Basically, you'll be there. Get your grass out the speech. What do you say

we don't play. We're gonna play your speech via FaceTime. You cannot be so funny. I'm excited. I mean, obviously you still need a speech. I'm not saying it's but generally women are not always the craziest aggressor. And I'm saying with each other, no, No, I've found that women treat me a lot more kindly in my lifetime and are a lot more cautious of making me feel and anywhere sex clubs included, women have definitely paid more attention

to being consensual with me. The dudes. It's weird because we also talked about to me, no, especially having the podcast, the meet and greet, it's been and I'll be honest with y'all right here to me and greet for this podcast. Specifically, they grab our as our breasts like we've had and to me, women understandably so cool. We all love each other as our bodies are, what our we vary, our

bodies are, we we we we we like. I want to say we respect each other's body, but in the way we put ourselves out there, I would say we've been violated in our in our meet and greets and in public. To me, way more than personally. Thing that's ever happened to me is someone not leaving when it

has to leave. Actually, that wasn't here. I think also context is important, like if you're again, if you're in a situation where there is a certain level of vulnerability and people want to come and explore something new, is important to to really if you are able to define your boundaries and what enthusiastic consent is before they even get to the space to get take their clothes off or meet and great or whatever, you're ready, you're setting

the tone. It's the onus. I feel there's always in the people doing the events to make sure that they have um I would I call it the buoyon. Have your crew of people that you've been nurturing and you've been rocking with, have them be there. So yeah, it's a ship, the ship ship all right? And the instagram is what sousa nyc um. And one last thing I just want to say when you reach out to us, um, no, we don't need a picture. You don't. We don't need a picture. No I need a picture because you Yeah,

it's a nice space you've curated. Don't just be allowed to anybody. No, we when people are when people are in their highest truest form and they're naked and they're feeling good, they're beautiful full. You've seen the crowd, I haven't seen it, and like, I haven't seen really seen an ugly pussy. But I will say this, I've seen an ugly face. I've seen I've seen when get a chance person and you're like, yeah, you know what, I'm stop talking niggas you see you because you like talking

to people. I told you when I going to be faces. I don't want to talk, but yeah, I know. I just want you to look good, give me a little. I don't want to talk, so I don't want you to become attractive to me. I want to look at you and be like, eat, I just want to say something really quick. Uh, for any any if you're coming in, and ladies too, if you're coming in as a couple, Um, it's important for the fellows to understand that your girl

isn't there just for you. Boom, thank you, she's if she's If she's lying and tells you that she just wants to fun other women and watch you be pleased you that's the first couple of times if a nig came in and looked better than my nigga cool I had an ex to just everybody wanted to climb. So I'm like, why am I gonna step down when this is the prize in the building that I think. I think sometimes when you're just into someone, your brain is there,

and I think women just go there. But I agree with you after having mad women come up to me and be like, Yo, can you talk to my man and let him know that I would like I would like to engage. It's been like a couple of months of me come to this party and all I've done is eat pussy and suck his dick with like other girls, and they want to be involved. So understand that don't don't be selfish niggas, don't sing um and also especially for men, besides hard dick and a smile, what do

you bring into our community? What makes you so dope that we should embrace you and bring you in it? It could be anything. It doesn't have to be like, Yo, you know I'm a scholar now and I'm just a cool motherfucker. Um. Yeah, I love that. Well, if you guys want to check out those links and you didn't

maybe get we're gonna put in the description. And also, if you want some more Horrible decisions, check us out on patreon dot com back slash Horror Decisions where we do a lot of solo episodes, mostly solo, so you can get some updated t and um look out for us at the Black Effect Podcast Festival in August, and not only that, this weekend. That's right, this weekend if you are in town, the thirteenth and fourteen is Envisioned Festival. That's e n V s N Festival. Goes ahead and

check out their website. That's e n V s N Festival dot com. It'll be totally different from our live show. This is a panto panel, um so, so check us out there again. Thank you guys so much for tuning in. We'll leave you all with a five minute bonus flip for my Patreon Louise. Thank you for joining us again. Check out Sousa NYC. This has been yet another episode of Horrible Decisions. Hi guys, high sluts, it's bonus bitch.

Welcome back to another episode of our cinema. We have been talking about Johnson's cabarets so much chat we weren't able to do it on nothing else. I will tell you guys this, even if you don't watch the show, we promise we will make it relative, make it fun. It's also such a hot mess that should probably seen the show. This is just every ratchet show reincarnated that you've ever watched on DV. I really like it. I really think that what Zeus is doing uh with their

content is really really good. I'm watching um. Let me give you a gauge from what I know from other people, so we could take maybe a guess of what we think. Bad Girls Club Girls get anywhere from two to four

thousand an episode. Love and Hip Hop gasts three thousand an episode for first timers, ten thousand for like that's all because I know people all love it hip guy from talking about like for the first show, three thousand for like a no name for first timers to ten thousand, So you could try to get anywhere from one to one fifty and the other thing with Love and Hip Hop, though it's based on appearance, So sorry handing the line, but I do know that Quimby was paying about five

thousand an episode for new shows, and Quippy had a larger budgete than Zeus, but they didn't have anyone as big as Joscelyn. Johncelyn's putting out and I'm shocked. I mean, Quimby also went out in six months. They did, but they had mad bread though. They were giving it all out. That's why I'm like, they were spending it on production,

building studios, so they just used their money wrong. But if these shows give it out that much, what do you think Joscelyn is getting on a streaming platform not TV or cable. I'm not gonna hold you. It depends how good her attorney is. I know too many people that have done TV who have been like, it's worth it, And I've seen a lot of people who have done TV and said, yeah, it ain't worth it because it's really they can guarantee exposure, so that's where they're like,

you can go and get kill things and bookings. So I don't know, I don't be watching these people. I think that she definitely is a millionaire out of all of the ventures she has, but I don't know. I don't know watch the jobs you but I did do. We probably watched the Call Her daddy Ship. Whenever something is going on or if anything, I always want to know what people in my lane are getting paid. That's important, bro, for the job that I have. Now, I called three

people that worked at Audible. I called Charlotte, I main, I said, I know y'all don't get along nowaday' friends, but I said, I know y'all get alone, but I need to talk to the people that do my job on your side, like we I think getting undervalued and undersold is like something that is super important, and we've definitely been conscientious of that too. Like I'm really happy with what we got, you know, for a black Effect contract. But even now it's like, what if we grow crazy

then what? Like it's it's good to know your competition and um not that I will start a tripper show. But she's just so phenomenal that I am curious because even when I watched season one, it wasn't given With season two gay, it wasn't giving way that supposed to gay naked. Season two was gorgeous, she was fine, the

bitches was batter Like. That show is really impressive to the point where like, now that I'm done and waiting for that next episode, now Zeus got me clicking on other ship them nig is smart, bro, real good didn't be Samoneople on there too. Yeah, did you watch it for like the love of the Simone or something? I just got zeus. No, I didn't. I didn't watch your show. T T got one to the dude from with the blue hair. I wish I could. He's not trance, he'd just be putting a wig on up good. I got

everybody I gotta show on that motherfuck anyway. Out of all the women or men that have futured, you've got her husband and a therapist. Who would you want to fuck from Jocelyn's caberet? Uh, it's damn? What's her name? How long? I got the one she has the short hair, like short red hair. LEXI blow yes, so the one that Johnson was like so Lexi Lexie and Miss Natural. Those are my two favorite ms. Natural. Maybe she's just turned me off somebody because she'll be here going nuts.

I like her so I like Miss Natural and I like Lexi those ms LEXI blow LEXI blows hot. But that's the lightest I've ever seen you. Um find somebody attractive? You know what's crazy about you saying that my my ex is the same way? Now, Like we'll go to a club and uh, he'll like already know. And he says that he's like, you don't like light skinned girls, like you don't like