Ep 277: Accepting Change in Your Partner (Ft. Amir & Basirah )

I realized it didn't work out for me. And we are joined today by another duo podcast, Both Sides of the Bed a mere Ambassio. Welcome to the podcast. So excited. I actually met them when I was high on edibles and they're like, yeah, you know, Mage, right, where'd you guys meet up for green Park? Where about it in the summertime? Yeah, we were working though. What were doing we were interviewing. So in the beginning of all our episodes, we're going to speak to the people. We had the

mic and everything we ran up for. People have it, some don't. Yeah, like, I watched one of this really really cute girl and I was really worded. I clicked on it because she was sexy and she was doing like word on the street ship, and I was like, you know when you're watching an interview and you're like, why didn't you ask this? Why don't you say that?

And I'm like, Bro, if he's gonna go on the street, anybody could do this be the personality home asked me the ship about, Like, yeah, you know what I mean, the things that are going to make people uncomfortable. But that's the ship I love, and I think actually that's why, um the dude that we had on I had been so drawn to his clips because I was like, I

love finding out things about people. I don't know that it's so crazy, Like I don't really want to hear celebrities talk more than I want to hear about you fucking your cousin. What's what's the craziest thing that y'all have heard? Like interviewing people outside, have we heard crazy yet? I don't know about crazy, but maybe personal. Remember this one girl was talking about how she was trying to

do anal but her butt was too small. So then so then we like first needed to tell her, like you should try you but plug and spread your asshole so the tick can go in easier way. So y'all educating people on the streets, I mean they have that's a key life lesson. Yeah, I think my ball too. Yeah, no, try it but she didn't did it though? She just but I remember it was only the head and it was like super painful. So I think the muscle. I

think some people just retract and it's like you can't relax. Oh, you gotta be relaxed as you gotta have. I was about to say, you gotta have a whole breathing exercise like you're about to have a baby, like you know, you literally you literally have to do a whole breathing exercise. So both sides of the bed. You guys are a couple, So tell us about what you guys talk about on your show. Um, and I know you have so many clips about freaky versus kinky and that not being the same.

But you guys really educate too, So tell our audience about your show, right. So, I mean the premise of the show is centered around having conversations about sex that people are comfortable with or just not a not know

that are available to them, you know. So it's really just opening up the doors for people to have sexual exploration and self exploration through the process of having said when you said open up, I thought you were going with something else, but okay, I guess opening opening up and y'all work together and y'all live in a relationship, so I need to know what the funk that is like because we've had other couples to that have pods.

But I also know in talking to them after they've done it for some time, it becomes stressful, Like what if y'all get in an argument and gotta record the next day this happens? Should add what was it yesterday? Actually? Actually? Yeah, you guys about who is the most recent? UM? I think just trying to get on the same page with one another UM and just trying to operate on his program. Do you feel like, yeah, making well, how long have we been together happen? Do you feel like podcasting together

like starting a business together was like smart? Like does its strengthen the relationship? You're like absolutely, yeah, it's beautiful. It's an amazing aspect of our relationship that's new now. So it's like we really have a baby now through doing this together. But I think because we basically live together, but we have separate places. Once we reach that threshold where it's like, all right, we've been two weeks. Now it's time for you to take your ass home for

a little bit, then that's when the argument is really start. Yeah, to go home. That's yeah, not not not not the It's not that, it's it's more so that we've just had our threshold of each other and just needing that space because we do work together. Um, we do spend a lot of time with each other. You know, we're partners, are best friends, so we're partners in work as well. I love it and a half years later though, you

guys still have your own separate places. Like to me, that was something that I don't think I'll ever give up in dating. Like, I love that we could spend PHO days together and then you go on home. We have the favor a house, yeah, only because I have, Um, I lived my sister, so yeah, we can be allowed at his place. Well, because you guys are in a relationship, I wanted to start with some relationship questions. Um, like

I said, so mad, I didn't bring my cards. But um, these questions do kind of stem from Love Unlocked, which is shout out to therapist Max Stanley, who is here on the pod. I wanted to know. Um, let me start with the woman because this is normally something. Is there a fear in telling your partner no to something? And if there is, what is it telling him no to something? I wouldn't say a fear, um, maybe like just a mild discomfort, just because I'm not sure of

his reaction. Um. Also, we have a dom sub dynamic, so saying no isn't really Oh, you're not allowed to say no. It's it's not that I'm not allowed to say no. It's just it's it's I have to say it in a certain way. Yeah. Um, So with with our dynamic, it's um, yes, it's not. Yeah okay, would you like to help me explain this dynamic? Yes, we have a down sub dynamic. And I would say our style, Well, my style is more of a nurturing daddy dum, So I'm not I'm not really about the extra strict protocols

and all of that. That not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just not my style. I'm more chill, really you guys living it all day every day. And that's like where our challenges came about. Because when we got together, it's in the beginning of COVID, So we met a month right before COVID, and then we just shocked up like immediately after that. So we got to

the thick of it real quick. So within developing that learning that this is something that we wanted to do, it was an interesting experience because we had just so much time to do it because it's nothing else. What kind of pet names go on in the daddy dumb dynamic for both of you, for us baby girl for sure,

Princess daddy daddy. It's crazy because I've seen the transition because like we'll be around family and then I have to figure out how to turn off because it was it was just it was just on for the first year and a half. So now we started getting back out into the world, it's like we'll go out to brunch with my parents or whatever, and dadd star you in front of the parents. I do and that it's not like so we initially agreed that we'll I know,

I'm just sucking math. We initially agree that we'd code switched because like why am I calling him daddy friend of dad? But I'm so used to it. And when he has a son, um and his son called him daddy, so we just both call him dady. His son doesn't think anything, so it's just that's just me. I'm not crazy, I asked. Daddy asked, Yeah. It's completely works in that, so I'm not necessarily having to quote switch all the time. So just in the midst of it, I'll just be like,

Daddy can pass me to catch up. And his mom is right next to like the first time that we're saying the first time that it was on my birthday. Yeah, it was on my birthday. I remember we're just eating. I'm looking at my place and she said past the catch huh, and I was looked Daddy, Yeah, it was very loud to it's very loud. And I looked at both of them. They're reserves people, is my honest belief that they heard, and they were like, let me just mon,

were y'all texting under the table? No, but he said like like, oh, that's where we're going with it. Okay, but no, but now it's transitioned to a consistent sir. So in places where it's not appropriate for daddy. It's still consistent, sir. And it's funny that you say uncomfortable.

It's funny because sir is less uncomfortable. I know when Monique went on to the breakfast club and she was calling her husband daddy and he's also her manager, that people felt away that she was calling her husband daddy, and I don't. I guess it mixed before because oh yeah, called her husband daddy publicly and a lot of people felt really weird that this powerful woman is somewhat submitting to a man because she is who the funk she is?

Have you had this dynamic in a previous relationships? Really? So? Then who introduced it? That was actually my next question? Who introduced it? And how did the conversation happen? If I assume you introduced this since this is your first time, he definitely introduced it. The way he introduced it was so hilarious to me. I'm just getting my version. So we met on what was it the twenty second, January

twenty two. Now only know this because it might maybe knowing my my sister's birthday is met they and on the twenty three, my sisters and I go to the spot we get highest fun. I'm talking. We uh, we smoked, we took edibles, we took some shrimps, and then this random lady comes up to us. We're like soaking in the top, asked naked, and she's like, I want to buy some stuff, and like my two sisters, she's like telling my two sisters wait, wait, wait, sorry, I don't

know if I skipped something. You were at a spot and smoking. Yeah, you know, it's like the spot said, I thought you said that we were at this spot. I'm sorry at the spot and this lady just comes up to us and just offers some drugs. So we're like, yeah, we're gonna take some drugs. So I'm so because trusting. We are really frusted because we're at the spot. It's like we get high and then sweat it out. So

we kept taking more. So at the end of the night, we had this one cookie left, and my sisters are like, we like stop at the highway. It's my two older sisters and my three older sisters and myself and um, we're in two different cars. We like pull over and take another cookie, and I'm like, guys, I really don't think it's a good idea. It's like a really good piece, like we should be doing a small marks, like you're such a little bit. They stake it. Then we get

to our house. We're in Jersey, drive to Queens. We get to your house. I'm high as fun. Then when we get outside, my one sister goes. My husband can't know we're high, so just pretend you're sober. Fuck man's pretender sober. So we get into the house and their idea of pertaining or sober is drink wine if he thinks we're drunk. So then I get drunk and ship. So I'm drunk and high to this day, I don't think I've been drunk and high at the same time

like that. And this guy texts me like I really need to talk to you, and we had we had sex their first night. I don't think I'm so high. I'm like, should I got him pregnant? Like about to be your daddy? Like that's how high. I'm like freaking out. And I'm with my nephew who's also the name is Amir, and um, I was so high. I thought he was my my best friend. So I'm just like telling him about my sex competes. I'm just like oh my god. Yes, his diak is so big. I know you I'm talking

about him. No, my niphew's name is Amir as well. No, no no, but at least you were talking about him. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm like laying my niphew's nap. He's like petting me. He's like, okay on see, just like trying to sober me up. And I'm texting him and I'm like and he just thinks I'm just like regular high and he's like, I'll just get you ver since you can't drive. So I go over there. I'm so terrified. I'm like, he's pregnant.

I'm going to be because he said because like what else he urgently need to talk to me about right after we have sex, Like this is a day he could have been itching. I could I could go. I was so hot. I was so hot I couldn't even go there. You don't even think like you, I know how you thought he was probably urgently thinking this man was pregned by me. So I get there and he were like playing in bed and I'm just like looking at him like just shaking, like, oh my god, like

what is he about to say? Because then at some point I'm just like, this man is not pregnant, so I just don't know what he's about to say. And he's just like I was wondering, if you know, open to this DS relationship. And I'm like, in two hours brought it to her, that queen that this is the whole part. This is me high. So this is this is how it happened. When I remember, I remember, okay, so was it four or forty hours prior we went on our first date. Um, so, prior to that, we

didn't have a conversation. I don't even think I, let you knew it was something I was interested in. I don't think so. But prior to that, I only had experience topping one person before, So you know, I had play, I had the toys. You know. It was nice, fun introduction to dominating somebody. So it's like that kind of scratched a little issue. I was like, I want to

do what this is about. But I didn't find anybody over the course of like maybe two years that I was really ready to try to try that again with. So we went on our first date and it was just an instant, energetic experience. It was like she went in to a very submissive space, and then I went into a dominant space and it just kind of worked, and then the light bulb went off, like maybe I can activate on this. And so we get back to my place and we, like you transformer, it was like

it was like it was left that. I was like once that, once that button got pressed, I never went back to predominant me in that way. And you've been enjoying being a stuff as well, Yeah, because it came out of her. So we get back to the house and we started having sex and she's like, I just want you to own me. I'm getting we're getting it in, we're getting it, we get we're getting in heavy eye contacts,

we're going in. I'm definitely controlling the situation. Five bitch, you was yelling, I want you to own So that's not it's devil dick to let you the first time you're saying during sex, but the first time, the first time you said it was and continues to be great. That's right to make a podcast with them, you know, I love that. Well, we're gonna talk more about relationship shit, but I wanted to get into our vanilla ship. If you guys are listening to this for the first time

our Vanilla Ships segment is sex in the news. We have been away from the studio for quite some time, so you guys definitely saw this circulating the blogs. Our good friend who was on the pod Shan on her Lovers and Friends podcast, had someone by the name of watch Jazzy on and yet she talked about being super submissive in all those things. But I wanted to play a clip and I wanted to hear you, guys, is um response to it? I don't know, You're gonna play and then I'll tell you when to cut it off.

This is regarding UM doing something with your partner that you may or may not enjoy it. But this was her answer to it. Anything goes for sure if you're comfortable with the person. Because I'm doing sh it I never did before. I'm just like, I would have never done this, but you know what, I'm comfortable with this person, and I feel safe to have an example. Are like you have an example? Yeah that do you do it for you or do you do it for them? I do it for him because for me, I'm not at

a place where I like it. Yet I had we had one successful time where I was like okay, you know my butt creamed. It was like, oh, ship, like it was like creaming. I don't know what that was, but it was like it was weird. Yeah, I don't know the science of that, in particular, because your butt doesn't lubricate in that way it would you could shoot it. It was clear. Yeah, yeah, that's fast. She This is also a two minute clips, so I didn't want to play at all, but she pretty much says, I don't

enjoy anal sex because it hurts. It's not something that I do, but I do it because he wants to do it. And luckily you guys are in the sense to where you guys agree. But that was one of my things with my ex. As much as I enjoy pegging, he was not going to do it, and I didn't.

I didn't truly want to do anything that I knew he didn't like, And so I wanted to know with you guys, if there is anything that maybe you enjoy that you don't or vice versa, and how you guys go about that conversation and do you think it's healthy that she says she's doing something sexually with her partner that she doesn't enjoy and that's painful for her. HM, well, I think it's beautiful to have that mindset, to be open enough to push yourself for your partner, and I

understand that. I saw some other clips from Jazzy and it was it was I don't know if she would call herself an actual sub. She definitely given the stuffy, heavy sub, so I understand what that mindset like. That's true submission, pushing yourself past your comfort zone for the sake of pleasing your partners. I also wouldn't compare this to like doing something you don't like, like one, it doesn't sound forceful like at first even hearing you say it,

and even like reading the thing like the headline. That was totally different to me. That was more like I'm not like I don't love eating pussy, but I do it for you. Like she's like, I'm not the point where I like it yet because it's still probably uncomfortable.

She's still like getting loose, getting loos learning how to do it like that didn't give what I thought, but I'm sure there's people in the comments trashing her because I want to I want to ask you then as a sub and being submissed because I ain't go hold you. I ain't doing it. I don't want to do I know I am more of the doesn't want to She literally said it's painful and it's not something she's ever done, and she doesn't she's never done. Doesn't sound she doesn't

want to know. It sounds like she It sounds like she does it for him. She wants to serve you, she wants to see him, she doesn't want to do anal sex that like, there's a difference there, and I want to ask you then as a sub like the difference in wanting to please him by doing whatever he asked and in the same time doing something that you genuinely don't like or that may be painful for you, or that you may not ask forever because it's not something you want. As far as like something that just

makes me uncomfortable. He's not the type to just push me past my limit. Um, but even in if a circumstance came up, I would I would push that limit with him. Is that something that he really desired and that's something that could bring us closer and bring pleasure. Giving him pleasure gives me pleasure, And in that submission, it's a part of it. It's a part of that sacrifice and a part of that. That's what I heard. I didn't hear anything about her. I really didn't take

that out the clip. I don't want to play the whole. It just wasn't given. Like one, uncomfortable is a big word to use. Someone's making you uncomfortable, and like that's different from yeah, I don't know. I believe that she wants to do it, Like I feel like the only reason I had anal sex and granted I wanted it to work, it didn't necessarily work. I got enough in but he was probably the only partner I ever had that really wanted it and I did it and yet it hurt, but also like he was so turned on

and I knew it was gonna take me time. I feel the same way, Like it wasn't like a complete write off, you know what I mean. I think that we do confuse sometimes, and I think that's what's scary about a clip like this is because people can misconstrue like she's doing things she doesn't want to do for him and put all that pressure on her where it's just like, girl, I ain't sucking, ask you. I love this Nigga, let me warm up to it right now. It kind of hurts a little bit. That's kind of

actually how I took that. But also there's a lot of context with her last subclip too, to where you can see that it probably turns her on to do

things like that for Niga. Yeah, I think also as it just as a sub it's it's a it's very pleasing and very validating in a way to just please your man, to please your dumb in that way, and to just give all of yourself to them because it's it's it's also about trust, just being in a space where you just fully trust this person and trust that if you're at your limit that you can say it like I tried. I want this for you, I want this for us, and I'm at my limit right now

and just trusting that he will honor that. So being in that space, I'm in that space with him, so kind of just anything goes and we'll try it at least once, and then who gotta like it to do it again. As long as he like it, it goes again. I think in the way we can learn to communicate, I always want to make sure it's a way that she enjoy it. So if I feel like she just doesn't enjoy it, I'm not going to truly Okay, you need to work out the kinks until both right, But

let's get into our quarder. I am going to ask each of you to give a sex a sex tip. So whether you do it from the dumb perspective, you do it from the sub perspective, or just something sexual that y'all have done that y'all think other people would enjoy too. Go ahead. We will start with the lady you don't mine, but see here, go ahead and give us a sex tip. A sex tip. Um, I'm blanking,

Oh my god. When we pass into your daddy, okay, number one and wherever it is that you do, show the funk up whatever, Thank you with great a dick every time show up and whatever it is for you and your your partner's gonna feel that nobody wants mediocre anything. So whether it's a dumb sub situation or is the most amazing vanilla missionary sex show the fun. So we had a debate last week where we talked about where

we all the mike. When we talked about that, Yeah, so I was like, sometimes I'll show up with CB in the beginning, and then I grab, do you always show up a plus but bestick you'll ever have? I guess you do because you always own it always. It's like, it's like, has that ever been an issue for you when you like fun the ship out of women on the first night and then they'd be going crazy. I've

even like, damn, my fuck too good? Yeah, because because there's been times like I'll go out on a day and instantly know like I'm not really feeling her, but then I'm like, I probably still fuck though, and it's like, why am I even doing that? And then bringing that mindset and I'm gonna lay it down. I don't even like you. Why am I even getting I gotta ask guys bring people into the bedroom with y'all. Yeah, So I have a question for you, Matt, because it can

show up the best. This was not an issue but a conversation I had multiple times with my ex. I'm like, damn, everybody get this type of dick that you give me? Like I actually was mad that he was showing up so good at giving dick to everyone that joined us in the best. But they were your friends, they got not like that. It's no, because if you're talking my homegirl, you need know you you sucking told you you're doing

everything that you do that to me. No, they all shouldn't be getting massages in the morning, or their toes sucked or they're asked a He was that way even at the sex club. So no, it's not even just my friends. It's anyone that got brought into the room. Showed the funk up. So he said he's going to show up. How he shows up? Does that make you feel any way, like nothing is left for you? It makes me feel very turned on. Okay, I think, uh, he has some great dick. I think I'd love to

share it with whoever is worthy. And um, we both show up fully. One of my favorite things when we let someone else into relation our our bedroom is um just kind of like catering to the experience, like grabbing some lube, you know, putting a finger where needed, whatever whatever to enhance the experience. Because we're all about experience. It's not just like let's just funk. It's like, let's

an experience with someone else. Is your relationship open separately or you'd only have sex with other pe to together. It started out together with whoever we chose to be with. And I think that's the main thing that we loved about being able to do it together because it's like, this is my homie and it's also my partner, and so I can have that homie vibe with her and still do it. But now it's like we've involved to

where we enjoy more intimate connections with our partners. So once we established okay, we were working with this person, then we have our own solo encounters with them as well. So you gotta suck them together first most of the time. Yeah. Interesting, Yeah, I like that. Yeah, because I'm by So it works out for me because I get to have the same experiences with women and women get more new pussy. So

it's a one win situation. That's where people people couldn't understand, like that was a part of my relationship that I was like, oh, yeah, I want to keep doing this. Like with sex clubs, I would be like, you want to go tonight, But it was because I had the urge to be with women, and I got to be with a lot of women. Can I As we talk about the sex clubs so much on this podcast, taking the sex club out of it, where do you meet someone.

I feel like a lot of people ask us that and if they don't have access to a sex club or whatever, like where have your encounters happened? We'll get busy on the apps. That's how we met the apps, which we met on okay Cupid and we've met. Yeah, I have an episode coming up with them on my TV show where I met a girl on okay Cupid and I had no idea, but in Sharona's guided me through it, we meet the girl together. We like go

on the State. But basically there's like sixty categories of orientation. Okay, keep it more than any other app where it's like you can do buy like kind of polly like this this that. Do you guys swap it in that way? Now? Did you do you like fill it out in a certain way. We're not. We're not. We're not, okay, keep it now because we realized it just doesn't work for what we're looking for. It's like Life and Field has

all of those categories too. We honestly haven't been on there since we've met, so maybe they maybe they're trying to get loose and you don't tup ship. Yeah, we met on there, then what the funk? I thought, Okay, like that surprises me. Why that app because you hear about Tender Bumble feel I get no love when Tender I've never got I never like whatever reason. Never. I think I made an account and it completely just never went on. And so my friend was like, I saw

you on Tender. I was like a lot of people on Bumble and on Riot. Yeah I liked Bumble. I kicked off a Bumble for being myself. Someone thought it was a big page even when I thought it was first time. Like all right, I said in my profile, and they come to me for the first time. Yeah, no, it's not they They're laziest. Hell, they'll just say hi. And I still got to do all this ship. I don't like that would be lazy. I ain't gonna hold you ill still I'm singling out. Y'all gotta teach me.

Please hopping my DM and tell me what works. I still just in the GYP shooting my shop for the eyes. I don't on Instagram. I don't do that. Oh I need to see multiple pictures. I need to see mutual friends. I don't. I'm not on no apps right now at all. Before it might have been bigge Or forever ago, but also Field, but they don't pay me no more. I was on there because I was getting paid to be on there. I'm not there. Yeah, okay, yeah, which is still up. But I don't. I don't, I don't. I

personally don't like meeting people on outs. Last week I talked about how I became a unicorn. I met them in person, and my friends laugh because they know my go to trick. It's sending drinks. I love buying people drinks because people don't buy drinks for you anymore, like men do not buy drinks for women anymore. I know they're expensive in New York. Really drinks nigga niggas don't. They'll come up and talk to you, but I don't know.

Men aren't buying you drinks. I have been going out often with my friends for what it used to be, maybe because niggas don't want to do it in a group. When I was with my friends, No, even in my twenty way, is it just two of you nigga's. It'll be me and maybe one of those men. Where I go out by myself, No, they'll come up and try to have a whole ass conversation with me. I don't drink so you so you can hear, I'm I'm drink ice at this point, like waiting for nigga's ain't offering

to buy drinks, so I love. That's how I approached women, like would you like a drink? Mind you fans buy drinks all this wait, Okay, I have asked it. I think this is a actual fair point. Do men not buy you drinks at like networking? No bitch bars, niggas ain't barns the industry. Ship that's open bar. You ain't gotta buy me a drink that ship know. When I'm out in regular places, I like the bar hop I'd

be out in West Village, East Village, regular places. Nigga's want to come up and hold whole lass conversations with me and not offer me a fucking train. Maybe it's because I'm in nightlife, but I've always done the buying drinks. I haven't. I didn't bought you a drink when we were in Lads drink but like niggas. But niggas, they have approached me and we talked about it, even going out in Atlanta, going out of multiple cities. This is

a multiple city things, not even multiple cities. Niggas will come up maybe I don't know to where, and I'm nasty, so you want my number, but you ain't gonna buy me a drink. But I'm good, like that's some new new ship. Which is why as a woman, when I'm trying to holler at another girl, I'll buy I'll buy the woman drinks. I'll send a drink across the bar. Like fellas bro I don't have a homeboy in my life that I don't go out with that doesn't set

drinks to other like they are constantly do. I've literally just experienced that a week. So I'm selling niggas will sit here and have whole conversations with me or whole conversations of mine, but I'm would be really just has been conven friends. It's like, and I'm not calling them broke, but like a lot of my friends have jobs where they may not be making six figures, yet you know what I'm saying, they still they still on my brokens

of broke days. Like you ever see Half Baked in Dave Chapelle on the date and his little money was dwindling down even on my brokens of broke days. I calculate, you know, I'm thirt three. I wonder if like this is like you know, it's a new thing. It got to be. But also just niggers ain't moving the same. They ain't got to let me, let me tell you how bad it is. And I'm bringing this up because it's not just my experience, it's all my friends. I was just talking to Tam was one of my home girls.

Her friend owns a bar, so they were talking about how this guy comes in who knows the owner. We'll sit at the bar. His drinks are free because he knows the owner, and he'll tell the girls that he's with just leave them the tip. Bro, you're getting free drinks and telling the girls you're with to just leave us. She's the bartender I was out with, that's where it is. And she's like, bro, they he brings all these women

in and tells them to tip. And she was complaining because so many times the women are they're getting free drinks and they don't tip. You want to hear they don't. I've ever heard I'm in a fucking uh what was I? Oh? I'm in an uber in l A had no idea that uberpool was back share. Yeah it is. I'm fucking smacked. Okay, I'm gonna say it's like two thirty almost three, and now I'm going to fucking Habibi, which is some hookahspot. I don't even like Kuka, but I was just in

a mood. So I'm on my way there and I wondered why the uber driver made me meet him across the street, but that's how uberpool works, so I don't know what I clicked. But anyway, long story short, there's someone else in the car. I said, oh, ship, my bad and he was like are you I said yeah, He's like, this is your ride? I said who. So it was a dude in the car. And the dude was actually really young and really funny. He was like getting a car on my broke boy ship, you are too,

So I was like all right. So then we start getting into it to uber share whatever. And I was in West Hollywood if anyone knows who bebes, like really farst maybe minute drive. He was going to the same place, so I was like, um oh, I was like, what do you do that. We started talking and he was like, yo, I'm like coming off my homeway, like my homeboy started rapping and ships like wherever this nigga go, I'm that because he got the bitches, and I'll just be taking

left over. And I was like, damn, he's admitting to the very young though, like maybe maybe not even twenty one. So I was like, oh, damn legal, But how are you gonna be getting money? He said, well, right now, all of my friends like working nights, night life. He was like, one of my friends even work in the movies. So I'd just been saying like, oh, you know, get you a ticket for half so I have a girl send me money on the date. You know what I'm saying.

They think they're splitting the day. Really I'm coming up because I ain't paying for the ship, see what I mean. But the same saying crazy when I said nick A buying drinking, no kid, because the humble sexuals he grown. He's not a kid. But let's not call twenty year old kids. We're not gonna do that because then everyone's at the files. They are not kids, They're fucking adults. Are they at dults enough to understand how to Like we were, we were dope enough to have fake I

das and getting drinks. The sixteen so I know by twenty you know what the funk you're doing. Even that, we knew we had to get the bottle, get there before the fun they started charging. So we got our armor. Aut of hours along island. I teens to be lit by the time they. Let me tell you how I noticed who as a kid. We get to the club, were getting and I'm also get a drink, and I felt so bad. You want to drink. Yeah, I'll take one.

I'll take one, but my homeboy's about to get a bottle. Anyway, Someone get your drink back, That's what he said, and sure enough he'd damn sure did his friend's bottle. Yeah. Thirty minutes later, he came right up to me. The cost of me goes, He said, you are red bar blanck. Wow, I don't think I've ever I don't think somebody's ever bought bought me a drink. See, and you just said I've never bought her a drink? Sent you k Yeah,

I've never that's never happened exactly. It's a real thing that I experienced ten years ago, but now going out, it's not a thing. No, niggas just want to talk. Niggas want to targe with you lesbian, so bitch of a sin and drinks but not oh dude, but I'm saying she could still have dudes. Oh sorry, I thought you was a lesbian by ratio happens again, you know what, And that's how people do man. You buy so you're game. I'll be now they wanted three. No nigga's be chatting

and so I'm drinking air. Nigga, you're talking too much. Drink it. Whenever I go, I will say this, the place is also where so sometimes smaller bars, not all the time, even like a last lap, not all the time, because it feels so friendly and communal. But when I go to like a club like New York club, like a PhD Little Sisters, whatever club I go to, dude, send me drinks at clubs, buy me drinks a club like clubbing for some reason, maybe because it's too loud

to talk. And I'll be honest with you can't tell y'all the last time a bitch been in the club. I don't. I don't club. I'll do bars, I'll do restaurants, but no, clubs are terrible. I can't do a club. Also, like, is it the age that we're falling in. We're like sitting down and listening to me like I can. Letting

down and listening to music is like why are we here? Also, I don't like the weird hierarchy of clubs necessarily, Like, okay, so I've been I spent a lot of time in l A, and I don't go to a Poppy or Delilah or Hide or any of those places, or even highlight room I don't really funk with because there's not a dance floor, and it then forces you to go to a table, and then once you get to that table, you're supposed to stand just with the twenty people that

are there, because everybody wants to be at a table. Yeah, so it's dumb. It's a weird ass fucking vibe. So of course I know people at these clubs, so I will literally go get a drink hill and be like all right, y'all, and then I just go dance in the aisle because there's no real dance floor. And then everybody even thinks that I'm a fucking weirdo because I'm not at a table. So the niggas will be like, yo, do you want to come and sit here? And I'm like, no,

I'm actually having a good time. Like it's just weird. It's supposed to being at a bar where it doesn't feel like that, and I think it just is a uncomfortable like, I don't know, Bring clubs back, bro bring binding drinks back, niggas. If you listening and you got a motherfucking penis and you out here single trying to motherfucking find somebody, buy a woman a drink, and if you're talking to her and you see her drink is half done, please be like, well, what are you drinking?

Let me get you want another one. It's so simple, and yes it may not, but and to be fair, that's the problem too. I think a lot of people just expect that, Oh, if I bought this bitch of drink sheet with me all night. No, it may or may not go anywhere, but nigga, fourteen dollars, it could take you way further if you just sucking. I mean, if you're in the South and it appears about but if you in the South and drinks better be six seth nate, they're in happy hour and if you want

a PBR. But that's what I'm Camles was nine dollars. Speaking of drinks costs and sending drinks with one of my friends, we were watching the God damn it, what was going on? Where the was it the last finals game? What's happening? Was that? Not the was the Celtics? Yeah, okay, that was it. I knew I wasn't stupid, but I am. So we're sitting down, you d it's like a Celtic today, but the right a place and Silver Lake and it's it's like a williamsburg E vibe for anybody that's listening.

So we're there, there's girls, there's a nice bar, but any of the nicest of the nice. And he was like, I gotta send these girls drinks. They find a ship, so he tells the bartender to get them whatever they want or whatever they're drinking. Do you know these bitches drink? And he spent a hundred and ten dollars on their drinks and he was like, I sweart to know it was freaking out, something like, dog, I ain't gonna lie. That's a that's a drink to fucking order when someone's

buying you a drink. Do you bet you they ordered that ship? Because he said he was bro so then I'm looking at the glasses they have before, like that's giving saying Grea and you bet just had ninety for you two girl. Do you know they came by right at the end of the game talking about thanks so much. It was a nice to meet y'all. You better takes after that pussy. I can't believe it. I mean, but

technically each pussy was only forty dollars. You're not getting my pussy a forty dollars, I mean, because it was forty plus text. That's probably how we got you know why, you know what I mean, I don't know if I could do that. That's a risky run though, you know, but you game, you know you don't want You don't want no pussy if you're not spending nothing on no drinks, you don't want a team. You said ninety and don't you know we had to hear about it all night,

getting your motherfucking competitive bag. You want to be put into the game. We are the coach and you're asking us to put you into the game. So buy some motherfucking drinks. Let's get into our horrible decision for this one with a couple I wanted to talk about accepting change and growth with your partner. There's toxic takes I've seen on the internet regarding this, and um, I do want to bring up this article from newsweek dot com.

There's like three different scenarios here and I want y'all input. Wheezy, please share yours too. This is on relationships, and there's fury on the internet over this. A not so happily married woman has sparked a online after revealing that she is refusing to have sex with her husband while he

has a beard. Compromise maybe the key to a happy marriage, but in this instance, neither side is willing to concede any ground and what is essentially a disagreement over facial here as the disc as the disgruntled wife in this tale of woe puts, he likes his beard. I hate it her avergence of facial hair him when it comes to women and beards. Um, but pretty much she is not attractive to him with this beard. He's grown it. You know, men be growing mind back. But okay, cool.

We've all experienced this in changes that happened with your partner on a physical level like this one. What is the conversation when you don't like something because I know this was a thing with my hair. My partner felt the way that I never came to him and discussed the color I was going before coming. I was just showing up with I mean the blond this He liked the blind when it was colorful. It was just a lot of attention. I looked, you know, I don't know,

maybe different with hot pink hair. I guess how is your hair? When he met you, it was just regular black. I had just chopped my hair off. Actually, when he met me, I want to say I had a lace weight on, so he may be thought I had some long hair because then I got dreads. So he's literally been with me on every phase of my hair, Like I had dreadlocks. At one point when we did Miami, I had long braids. You think, no, I just stay bald.

You just stay how many years uh since? Wow? So what is the conversation of, say he cuts his hair off, his beard, his beard off, you vocalize it. Hey, Yeah, it's so funny. I saw about it all the time where I'm like, that's the ones like you can cheat on He was like, you can cheat on me, and like, tell me, got somebody pregnant? And I'd forgive you faster than if you just showed up without your beard. But yo, luckily,

because here's the true thing about beards. Beards can be like I've seen dudes that are not that cute and they'll have something else like oh he's got dress, or he's tall, or he's got a body, Luckily or hue. Imagine if it was one of m nigga isn't cut their beard off? I like facial hair, bro change the whole nigga. It looks at James Harden, don't just don't want even covers his mouth. That's what his money covers everything else. I hate when people, by the way, says

ship like, how can she fuck him? Hello, he's worth here's my asshole, he's fucking rich. Um okay, so how do you feel that? Let's get into because this this husband in particular, is being withheld of sex until I guess his beard gets cut. How do you respond to somebody and then I'm going to switch it to women after how do you respond with that beard take? I mean that definitely won't fly. You know what I'm saying. If if if it was yeah, oh if you cut your beard, I'm not going to have sex with you,

I would feel offended. Son, I just texted my girl, would you rather I cheat on you or share my beard? She said, defined cheat you? And that fellas not only do we need you all to buy drinks, we need you to keep your bed right now? Okay, wait, look, and I don't want this to trigger anybody, but like, seriously, you're slim. She gained a bunch of weight. Would you feel that way? Because I feel like when men are with women with this body type, even modelisque body right

your neck or high everything. It's like, would it fuck you up if she gained weight? It's funny I recently like I've been like escalating with weight um and recently just lo I recently just lost some weight. So like he he likes me thicker, but if we have a we have a lot of room for thicker is different. It's sighs. Probably it's probably like my booms get really big. I think I hide them. Well, hey, somebody complaining about no bus. He's not complaining. I like mine. I like

my book smaller. I just put my clothes better and just it's less heavy on my back. He wants them like juicy and big like that was that was an argument. It was a back and forth. It's her body type of your type. Absolutely, I got a lot of types, but this is this is this is, this is the one. But we have a lot of room for flexibility. So if she gained thirty right, right, I mean, I'm not like that's the that's that's the truth, and that's the conversation.

We see a lot online, right, Like we've seen so many couples literally say openly like, well, when I got you, you were one fifty, now you two fifty. That's too much. And it works for both sexes, like men gain and lose weight us as well, and you lose some times the tractability to your partner. I could say that he did he tell you that conversation. No, you don't think

he liked it. I know he didn't like it because we just started working out, like crazyn, get me up in the morning, come on back, let's go run, let's go run. We're going to beat did that we were living in Mexico was a taco okay, and it was

quarantine eating. But I will say, even though I knew it and I could feel it, I think he did the best job he could and just trying to be like, all right this and he knows I probably wouldn't like my body like that, right, He's like, I just gotta get you back to where you are without saying it, but you got fat, but we're gonna get you ready. Oh yeah. We would literally go out and he'd be like, rice and beans. Baby, we haven't had winds. Last time

we've had cabbage? What did we ever had it? But I will say seventy to a hundred, I would have an issue with that, not weight weight game, game seventy to undred, not aesthetically specifically, but like what I've been to allow you to get this far off where we are? So number one, I would hold myself accountable, like what

what did you know? What I'm saying? How I didn't know the people listening It could have very well came from kids, which a lot of women, like men want kids and then you're mad, I can't get rid of this this babyway, or like you know what I mean, And so he said, that's a different situation. One of the conversations I did get into with old Day it's my ex boyfriend, was he wanted me to get up and I was really tired he was forced me to

get up. I'm like, this is a motivational Now you're making me feel like you just hate me be in fact, what are you gonna do when I have a baby. He's like, that's different? Is it? Though? How is it difference? Because right now I'm depressed, so something's wrong? So the baby. You haven't excused that? Like, nah, bro, Like I just kind of think. Dudes say that, and I feel like maybe four months later you're like, get back on the treadmill.

But both of y'all at it? Why? Why is I think that's a different type of big, a different type of big. Some women gained sixty pounds in pregnant, Okay, that's cool. I'm just like, you're creating a whole human. You have room for that. It's more, it's more understanding of it just happening as opposed she had the baby a year and a half ago and they lost the baby weight. Yeah, okay, you got a good three body. You've got some time though, Okay, three years all right?

In terms of when I have a baby, every time I look at a picture of Beyonce and her lips, her nose, I'm like, oh, even Brihanna now she you could see the difference that's had her face every even I watched a little bit of Kardashians on Hulu with my mom and I was like, whoa. Now, I don't say it in a bad way. I'm just saying it's like a huge chain. But then I wonder if it's just from the boat tooxic pillers, Like maybe, no, that's

probably why it was bigger. That's why all pregnant women like kind of not all, but most I've seen like it, or like after they had the baby pregnant, pregnant. And I know, bro, when I get sad, I get fat, usually want to get pregnant, and you'll be sad pregnant. Oh it's over. You don't have to roll me down. So the last growth and change, I wanted to bring it back to lifestyle, um because especially with you, this being your first relationship UM with a DS situation, going

from a traditional relationship to lifestyle or vice versa. Now that was the thing in my previous relationship. We kind of started real lifestyle and then I wanted to kind of pull it back in and just be with him for a little bit. And I think it's another conversation where people sometimes have been together so long now they're like, Okay, how do we introduce things into the relationship. Or I was with a partner who we've been dealing for years.

He ended up getting married and then getting married, he realized he wanted a polly relationship, and he brought that to his wife and I was like, I have a girlfriend. He wanted me to be the second girlfriend, but she knew about me from the past. But that was a long story. Um. But in the middle of a marriage with kids, the conversation he brought to her, it was like, I know we're married, I know we got kids. I know we've had our relationship this way for so long.

I don't want to be Polly and have girlfriends. I want to know how you guys believe that type of change in your partner should be received. I think that I don't know. I think with us we do you mean with us specifically or just with you guys in general? Like say, he then comes to you and as like, I know we have fun together, but I think I don't have two other girlfriends where they're just like you,

because that's just what I want right now. How do you respond to him saying this is what I want, and I think this is what I need, and you either stay with me or you don't, or you accept it or you don't like What would that be like that with with our relationship, UM, we're we know that we are life partners, like we're engaged, we know that we're in for the long haul. And I think for for me, it's it's it's about knowing that we're individual

people coming in deciding to be partners. So if he decides that he needs something for his life or in his life that is different from what we were doing, then let's try it first and see if it works for us, and if it doesn't work for us, let's switch and figure out what does work for us. UM. So I think that's how it would happen in our relationship. If some drastic shift UM needed to happen, Let's try that shift and if it works, it works. If it doesn't,

let's shift again. UM. I think generally, UM, a lot of relationships aren't like that, unfortunately, and that UM people are very used to They like familiarity and they want to stay with what they're used to, and with that with a drastic change, it's just like it feels hurtful. It feels traumatic, and people don't want to do it um, but I think a lot of relationships could be just

can grow to it together. Yeah, And I think specifically going into a marriage where you know this is official, official, going into it knowing as human beings, we may evolve and ship may change over time, whatever that may be, and so having that understanding it won't be such a shock when you come three years later, Hey I want to start having sex with other people we've already established. Hey, I might grow into a place where this is something

I might want. So I think just having that setting a tone in that I think you're in the age where, like, I don't know I would want. I remember watching The Ultimatum and thinking these people are so young as y'all watch it, Yeah, they're in their early twenties and talking about getting married like this is crazy. But I feel like when people are in their thirties, like you've kind

of can feel who. Maybe you don't know all the way who you'll be at forty or throughout your marriage, but you kind of get a taste, like for the lifestyle that you guys have, bringing partners in and daddy domb ship or domb sub ship. I feel like, you know, if someone threw that out there five years agow, you wouldn't be like this is a complete shocker. But it's good to kind of explore those things wild dating, and I think a lot of people don't get the chance

to do that. They're almost so focused on you know, each other that and these are people that I'm saying that are to be interested in probably ship. I kind of think you almost do need to test the waters. Yeah, that's a good point together, and you guys are doing that so because I think, I don't think we would have come to this place where we're so open so quickly if I personally didn't have experience in the lifestyle myself.

So I think I was twenty two, like the first time I went to a play party and just I don't even know these things existed. Why do you guys have us too? Too? Too? The proposal dators and ship No, So this is our angel numbers. So it's just yeah, I connected representative representation of our connectingness. And do you both see it a lot of them? Yeah, most of our now we saw it. We just in our relationship. We just saw a lot of angel numbers all the time,

and we're just like, let's pick one for us. But yeah, you also said y'all met on the twenty second. Yeah we Oh my god, is I didn't realize that look at you. But we were like saying, like, let's pick the number. It is not many, ye that before? Oh this is what we um alright, gag, But we were like, let's pick a number. And I just so happen to look over at our washing machine and said twenty two. So that's how we picked in. It just means unity

and just like coming together as one. I'm not laughing at that because Angel want to understand Angel numbers and things like that. It's just such a deep thing. She's like, did I look at the washper to this on my body? That's how we picked it. But we got it on two. Amazing. Well, let's not one of my tattoos on a napkin. This is all things that Boskaya drew. But he drew this particular thing on a napkin that was and they had it in a frank and I was like, are you

sure that's him? She was like, yeah, my brother, Well can I take it before we get out of here? I want to end with a homemail, and we would love for you guys to help us with this question, especially since you've been doing it this wanted two. All right, Hey, y'all, I've been listening to your podcast for about a year now, and I found comfort in knowing I'm not the only one in this world that feels the comfortable in my sex life and sexuality and talking about it as well.

I'm it's a lot of experiences in my under age, being that I got at my younger age, being that I got married and became a mom at twenty one. I'm now, but I believe it's never too late to try things. I've been really thinking I want to gain more experience and try new things and get more into my sex life, but don't know where to start. I live in Austin, Texas, but I'm not from down here, so don't know much about the city or the quote

unquote sex scene. So I know I couldn't just walk up to a random man and ask him if I could peg him. Do you have any suggestions or ideas on how to get into these sex world or even approaching meeting new people in that way? Of course, you brought up daddy dom to her twenty four hours later, how would you suggest her bringing that up either with new partners or getting into a sex scene and maybe

a place that's not New York. We did the main question and it's interesting because just like we live in a new world, are full of technology. A quick Google search can send you on the right path pretty quickly. UM. I would say, even if it's just partners that you have and they're more vanilla, just being honest about what you want. Let's start there with who you have access to UM right away. But you know there's resources like fat life, you got field out there UM or if

you just meet new people. I think the main thing is being clear on what you want. Yeah, yeah, I understand, like what kinks you might you be into, so you know how to communicate these to potential partners. And Google UM is definitely a resource if you want to try the clubs or anything like that. But I would say before going to the club, maybe find a home girl. If you say you're comfortable talking about sex, bring it up with one of your home girls. And that was

my introduction to the sex clubs. Like we went to the beach, they talked about it, and I don't think I would have ever been able to push myself to go by myself. So I brought a home girl with me, and to me, that broke the ice real easy because we went like we were going to the club. No, I want to just make a point really quick, because I even said earlier, like we talked about the sex club so much, and it's because we're a lot of

your sex has happened. But as someone that's had a lot of threesomes and was sucking a lot of girls with my ex, Like, I'm not really a sex club right for me? How would you? I would ask, how would your how have your experiences on photos? I've heard the show a lot, and it seems like you just

have very organic situations that unfold. Yeah, it's funny because Mandy last week told us about a story in Mexico, Like that's a very mean thing to happen, Like I had threes in Mexico, right, Like, I don't know, and I'm actually someone that likes apps. It's just for some reason another person coming into my ship, like it just didn't really work for me. I've had a threesome off app with Jeeves, but I don't like sex clubes and I think it's particularly because I don't feel like I

can connect during sex um and some people can. Like one of my friends was telling me a story like she felt like nobody else was around. I don't think I feel like that. But that's just because I'm a I'm thinking too much about what's going on, or like maybe a little too precautious. Um. Even when I like did an episode about the sex club, went in there, had a camera and SFW and was like trying to

meet people, like I just can't let go. But for me, the things have unfolded by just being able to go out and my partner making other women feel uncomfortable, Like as much as he's a piece of ship, he is really feel comfortable. Huh, making him making them feel comfortable like they like I did, He doesn't meant to say feel and make them feel ncofortable. I think with women that aren't sure if they want to have a threesome, it's either because the men have too much mask energy.

They either get a little too broye almost or try to be a guy in front of them and it's weird and he's just a cool ass nigked like everybody wants to hang out with him, and that's why they do. That's just I would even describe, like most of our friends like me or you like you, you're out and sometimes people just start finding you. He's one of those people. He's not really an introvert, like he's just the guy

if people want to be around. And so what happens with that is women then feel like I'm not pressured into this sometimes I think when a guy isn't as smiley or lee, because it's true you should let your girl lead, but I want to feel welcomed by you too, And I think that that was the thing about his energy that made girls want to hang with us all

the time. But also I would say there was something particularly about him more than anyone else, which is why I think we kept having uh sex with women just around where we lived. He would immediately tell women that we wanted to funk what we were doing that night, and it was just like put it in their ear right, Like for example, last lap, we sucked a lot of girls out of last lap. So let's just say it was midnight. He'd be like, oh, what are you up

to tonight? And then they tell him. He was like, okay, well we're gonna go to gold bar. Actually, like in an hour, you come in, you that we're all going together and be like O guy and so like. He would almost make them a part of our plans. And I don't even know if he consciously did that, or he would say something about food you never had up and out a mom or I'm not we gotta go now, we're all fucking going to the next place. And it was little things like that would do it no matter

what city we were in, Miami, New York, wherever. And I'm like, that's it now. And if a girl is not interested in, they're like, I'm gonna stay on my home girls, and I'm like I try. And never were forceful, like we definitely had a girl come upstairs. Actually, my homegirl, Chanelle. I don't know if anybody knows Chanel Lopez, but she is so fucking sexy. She used to live in New York, she lives in Miami. Now she knows. I ain't sh she knows. My X say, I'm sure she knows we

want to fund. So we all go upstairs, were just smoking and talking. We're all in the couch together and she goes, I'm not ready for this, but I still want to hang out. And I was like, but we all laughed. We're like, no, we're you gonna try to do that. She's like, yes, she would, but anyway, And you know, I think that's the thing too, is knowing that a man's not gonna make you feel bad. She

knew that we'd be having three sons. But you know, I think also that room for letting someone feel like they don't have to do anything, because guys say that but they don't mean it. Now you chased me around the bed for three hours when you said we were just gonna cuddle, but letting couples like being serious, like we're gonna fun regardless either you can use or not. Sometimes people are too thirsty when you got that too

thirsty energy, like nobody wants it exactly. I think that um just also just setting the intention of what you're wanting and not going out with so much thirst just knowing like I'm really hot, sexual being and I'm just gonna go out there and get some sex. I don't know how, I don't know who it's gonna happen, and just like going and moving with that confidence, moving with that energy. It goes a long way and then all of a sudden, like people start like feeling it and

just get drawn towards you. You can't. Also, we're saying, like having an intention, don't let the one night you go out and nothing happens be the thing like something you have to do your numbers. Yea numbers thing. It takes time and it and it takes it takes the energy,

and it takes um. I think just intention, just like moving and knowing exactly what you're king, sorry, what's your desire and exactly women are going out just like I'm in a couple, Like, yeah, I don't want to trick it's that it's trickier that way because he might think a might a dude to, but like a couple is different. That's the challenge that's harder. I'm trying to learn how to navigate both of them comfort you want. You have

to make both of them want to. You have to make both of them comfortable to where they've not been. Also about you being around exactly, That's that's a big thing with us. I am like, I'm gonna admit I am the bitch that is always tired, and we will bring someone home and I'll be like, all right, like the vibes are here, but I need a ten minute Apps kidding me, Like I'm just it's embarrassing. I am I tired home because what will happen. It's not that I was just like, oh, I'm just a little tired,

I'll just pass out. I was just like slowly, just stop, like stop, I'm I'm the bailout to have sex all sleep. Yes, And that's like I joined them first, like like are you sure you gotta start with them first? And then so what I do is once I get everybody comfort, I'll be like, all right, y'all have fun. I've gone to the couch and went to sleep and let them kept. So yeah, I've done that. It's I have to because what I what I do. What I do is I end up just saying like okay, I'm gonna I and

I hold to it. I'll take a time inute nap, but I'll be right back because sometimes I come back and they're fucking sometimes they're still talking like either way, I'm joining and something's gonna happen. You I need you to join the nin I literally like it's part of it's part of the thing I expected at this point. Yeah, and I do. I do, and I do say like like it's completely cool, like this is okay. They never believe they after you go to the beady, but they

know it's about the door. It's okay. One of my partners now, one of our partners now, they ended up having sex with him while I was sleeping, like the first time we went, yeah, on the same washing machine. But yeah, they were like freaking out and it was so funny because they had some bomb sex apparently they were allowed. I was knocked the funk out and I like come back out and they're like they got dressed and they were on the couch. If they didn't tell

me they funk, I would have never known. Wow. And I was just and they like ended up like leaving um like soon after, and I was like, damn, we make sexy time. He's like, actually, I was like, funk, I missed sexy time. If I can't even get mad, I'm tired, that's amazing that you're just like, well, damn, next time, next time I'll join. You know what, though, like that kind of thought to me, you have to

a lot of people may not feel that. And I also don't want to like push on someone's insecurities here. But I will just say this is like a situation where eighty percent of the time when you're that type of person, there's a real trust there. Because a lot of time people are having sex with someone that you're like, would you suck at my back? And you're not sure and your partner maybe doesn't make you feel like you

can completely trust him. That's a real trustworth thing, like my X and I like, I wasn't bothered that he would if he would do that, I don't know if you ever did. Maybe haven't did a little bit there working around, but like that doesn't bother me. And I know a lot of people may think it is, but it's like if I brought someone in here, like I already know you're my naked you know what I mean? Like my and when once you're open. But that to

me is a complete trustworthy situations. Yeah, And I trust him fully not just to respect me and whatever my boundaries maybe in that situation, but to also treat that person with respect and to treat them safe, Like I trust him fully with myself and with that person. That's one of my big things. Yeah, I don't niggs that don't make girls feel safe. Yeah, absolutely no, it's not hot fu embarrassing yo. I would like literally he would knock out after fucking almost kick him, Like, get get

the uber for her now. Yeah, we do a whole thing. Like when somebody comes to especially the first time we lay it all out, we definitely focus on them, and it's like we want that we we want that experience to be all about them, you know, so we cater to them, whether it's something that we're doing specifically in the bedroom. We make sure we bring out the toys

that they were a couple of years. I'm so crazy that you're just saying that because outside of the food and drinks, I feel like I was spoiling both the couple that I'll just with maybe because I'm just so used to being in charge. I felt like I was spoiling the couple, boiling both of them that I would like to experience that I was spoiling both them, like I would like kiss her, massage her. But I was like, do y'all want to like I was? I feel like I was. I liked it and they should be grateful

and I get really good. I'm a really good like threesome teammate, so I just don't feel like I ain't got a man to go home too. So y'all need to be doing I feel like it's so important too. It's so important to us to just like make that person feel sexy, like we want to know, like what are your designs, what are your rules? Are you allowed to caddle kiss? Yeah? Maybe that's why I knew I was there first time. I wasn't gonna expect them to spoil.

They've never been with another woman together, so to me, I felt like I was teaching them the lay of the land. Oh, there's one rule for anyone who's ever going with the one together men and women, take them on a date. Just think date opening doors should werous date, date, date to date. That's it and see. And that's maybe why you don't do the sex club thing. I don't want to take a bit on a date, which is why I like sucking people in the sex club. I

don't want to have to talk to you. But you want to invite a lot of people to your house. My friends sucked me. I don't meet girls out. I bring my friend into my bedroom. Otherwise, I prefer having sex with someone that we don't have to court we might share from fucking shrooms, we fucking then we go home. I don't like the courting aspect, which now makes sense why you enjoy going on dates though that was the first time. Yeah, I mean, but you know how nice

it is. I got courted with food and drinks, but I was doing the spoiling to both of them, like I don't know whatever. My experience was different. Yeah, we're in the middle of thing because I think at first it was all about the sex, and so we were just writing people over. We just you know, we had like our own like couple's home phase, and then after a while we're like, we want to settle partners. We went empty. Yeah I got there too, but now it

makes sense. I see the differences here. Well, go ahead and let everyone know where they can listen to your pody and where they can find you. Our brand new baby. We're very excited to bring it to the people. Um. You can check us out on all podcasts, string platforms at both sides of the bed um and on YouTube, and you can also check us out into edually. We love the comments, we love hearing stories absolutely, so y'all are taking people to slide in your dms. To join

you all in the bedroom as well. I mean, I'm looking forward to the first slot. We haven't got our first s lie yet. I'm looking forward today. We also just launched our website, so it's both sides the bed dot tv and if you want some sex relationships coaching with b then it's at the Intimate dot com and as open and trustworthy as you are. I feel like my needs to hear y y'all come check me out here in New York at w TF Media to come

check me ont in l A. We're in Hollywood. Come meet our new staff and check out sex Cells every Wednesday at eleven o'clock or on the Fuse app. There's a bunch of episodes. I don't know when ours is coming out, but I watched it. It It was really funny. People, I feel like are gonna be surprised with like how open we got about work like it was. It's a

really dope episode, Like it's one of my favorites. It's not the nastiest sex Cells episode and I literally get naked in one of them, but like the one that we did, it's really it's still it's very business. Well, I'm excited, guys, y'all know for me, you can catch me on my other podcasts every Tuesday and every Friday.

See the thing is with Bridget Kelly. Um. I'm excited because Horrible Decisions will be filming out of Full Court Studios soon, so you guys will be able to book very very surely, if not this week honestly, um, and then next month date my playlist on in TV airs where I'm hosting a fucking dating show. So check out date my playlist. It is coming to you soon. Um. And outside of that, Horrible Decisions will be live at the Black Effect Podcast Festival August. Get your tickets now

at black Effect dot com Backslash Podcast Festival. Um, we're gonna be there with eighty five South, all the Smoke, all of your favorite pods on the Black Effect Network, so go ahead and get your tickets now. Um. You guys may hear it at in the beginning of this episode. We are also doing Envisioned Festival, which is also here in Brooklyn. We'll let you know more details about that as well. And if you haven't yet joined us on

our Patreon that's Patreon dot com. Backslash Horrible Decisions where we dropped a bonus episode every motherfucking week, So check us out there again as patreon dot com back slash Horror Decisions. We're leaving you with a five minute bonus clip. Amara Pasara think he's so very much for joining us today. Check out both Side podcast um and again, this has been yet another episode of horrible Decisions by It's bonus bitches. Welcome to another cinema episode. Alexa, shut your gass up boom.

That's how I talk to her. She just got an election, God making me feel like the bitch is stalking me, Like I get worried about you. I've never that is my first Alexa. Really I don't like I have. Um it's weird because I have two in my house, a Seri in my bathroom, and then I got my man uh one for his car. But he's old, so he just feels like you don't want nobody watching him and just like they're good, you're not a criminal. They That's

how I just felt. But lambea scared me there about They just tell us the weather and play our tunes. That's all they do. Lamba made me unplug it. Um. I wanted to play some rent fires and fuck and I was like Alexa played rent fires and he was like, whoa wonderful that should going on? Now? You knew you was gonna activate her as bro Alexa stop, Alexa stop nothing, Alexa, turn it off? Bit you already. That's why he said he didn't want her around because they hear everything you

tell them day and them. Okay. I said, fine, okay, I'll turn it off. He was like, played on your phone? So then I started playing it on my phone, but I chrome casted to the TV and then he was like, I thought your TV had Internet. Why are you putting ship up on the TV now? And it's talking like I don't like this shoot and I was like, nigga, what the fuck, Mandy, He's not even that whole, Like this is how you know, even in the system too long, Like it's crazy, it's fun to me. Um. Also update,

I told Old Bay two weeks ago. You guys probably heard me say that Lambeau is gonna get me a car. I called Old Bay right after the episode. I was like, you know Kodak glack, because that's what you call him. He said, yeah, what's up? I was like, they never want to get me a car and pay my right and he just was silent, and I was like, what he said? Okay, Gila, what do you want me to say? I was like, I just want you to tell me

whether you think that's crazy. His answer to that was saying, I know you're gonna do what you want to do regardless. That's that's what that response was giving. Do you want me to pick you up in a nice car when you visit l A your web bad? That's really what it is. That's really like the real question. So how did you respond to that? Like if he said what do you want me to say? Like what what type of response did you expect him? Tap? I was like,

you know what kind of car I want? That car is like two thous a month, Like is that really gonna drive you crazy? And he was just like, it's what you want to do, Gela. So giving I can't telling you what you do, well, it's given that, but also I can't tell you what to do. Appreciate. But I also feel like if he called me like and was like this bitch wants to fucking buy X, Y and Z for me, you know what I'm saying, Like, you would have a fucking fit. Yeah I wouldn't. Um,

but you know, I ain't gonna lie. I feel like the worst of it all was saying that I accidentally sucked him. Were all like that was the real fucking embarrassing thing to call my nigga with whish to be honest, man, dye. He was so appreciative that I said it without like trying of bullshit around it when I came home, you know what I'm saying, And I feel like I would have been the same way. Like when I really thought about it, I thought that he was gonna be like, Bisher,

you out of your mind, but can call me? Was like, yo, I mean that's what I'm saying. Mistakes happened, But a nigga paying your rent and in you a car, that's more like a relationship, which is why I wanted because I don't want him to think he could just take the condom off. Beats bitch. If a nigga buys you a car, your rent, he's not sucking you with a condom. Ever, Okay, well that's who you do it. Damn. I wish I could just put both of them like that, but um,

you know, I mean it kind of sucks, but whatever. Anyway, Uh, Yeah, that conversation was a little bit uncomfortable. And I think that also Lambeau like doesn't really like understand Old Bay because he doesn't really I just don't think he gets it, Like I think he thinks this is some relationship off of TV or like he thinks it's not like a real thing, Like he doesn't really maybe understand the openness because he's very like if you might beach, you can't

fun nobody type of nigga. But I'm having fun with him right now and I don't want it to end. So who knows? They could blow up in my face one of his baby my must can fly here and kill me. There's also that that's a big opportunity for that. One happened as them host damn show, one of them what was I gonna say? Hit him up and was like this bitch talking about you on her podcast and started like blowing up. She was like, who the funk else got a lamba and nigked, So I mean there's

always that, um you know, who knows. Hopefully they don't come get both uns, bitch. I We're gonna take this thing back to the car. The model I thought a boy her, it's nothing that happens with you. They ain't coming for us, which they're coming for you.