Ep 257: The Cl*t is Not a DJ Booth (Ft. Michelle Hope)

feel like at least once a year. You've been on here about three two times, three times, three times our live show, our live show, yes where we brought a pussy puppet. I've been to friends. So that's why I talk. My God, I'm done hearing about motherfucking France. We are joined today by Michelle Hope, who is a sexpert and everything else under the sun. And I would say and act to best a sexpert. I was gonna say, activists

actually think that I think about It's good. I love that, not that I don't think of sex right, but like, if I had to pick something else right, activism would be it. You know, I say activism because you talked about sex. So like educationally, i'd be like, damn, bitch, this bit smart, Like the way we read about it, I don't. I mean I read Twitter. Yeah, sometimes and sometimes you can get good information from there. You know what else I don't really give credit to. You introduced

me to old Bay. Really didn't. I don't even know if you realize that. I don't. I did not. We were at a party together and you saw him, you knew him, so you started talking to him and you were sucking lit as fuck. And then I was like, that's normal, Michelle. But so at first I thought Michelle was like flirting with him, but then also he had a friend there, and I was like, okay, so now it's this nigga that she's flirting. We also can't get the vibe because who does Michelle want to fuck? Probably

both at the same dayn time. No, I'm just who knows? Who knows? That's but you know when you're just like which one is my home girl? On? So then I remember when he came back to get my number, I was like, oh, are you and he was like, oh, that's like we who I've been knowing her for years? Why? I mean, did she like I was like, I don't know, nigga, I'm trying to figure out where I fit in. And it's crazy because she has that connection to you. She actually went on a date with my man before he

was my man. You slide. So we so we went and we uh we were protesting together and Harlem. We went out to a protest uh during all of the BLM movements and that was a beautiful one. Um in Harlem, and he came and picked me up and they they both like kind of was like I think I know that person years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like a low one and uh literally then um, he was like, what's her name? And I started, I said, that's my friend.

She does this. She was on Breakfast Club a whole bunch of times like she did this, So I'm sure you know of her. And then he was like, I'm pretty sure. I met her a red rooster and we went on a date. I mean, I don't love two days, so that actually makes me feel better. Yeah, I do love a good date. I love a good date. I love a good free drink, a good meal. I mean, hold on, because I've taken man out and been like I got it. Wait, how often do you do that.

I mean, I ain't nowt here bawling, shot Colin or nothing. But I mean I've been I've been a quick two put twenty or happy. What is that Applebee's? It's like one of them. That's the only time I'm paying. And I don't even eat there no more. So looking like I'm not bad, I can't. I was forced to eat it a fucking Friday, so I was stuck in an airport. They're so bad, not me because the lounge just closed, not me being a bitch. I wasn't a bit because I was already mad because it was a snow issue.

I was sitting at that Friday's like I don't even eat her anymore, so I don't know what to do. And she was like, bitch, do you want a burger and wings? So that's all we gotta eat you some wings. I mean, you can't really fuck up Wayne. Nope, yes you can. I mean they could be so the only way you could suck them up is if you fucking do them boneless. Okay, I like them, are you kidding? Chicken sends at that time, the chicken their nugget. That's fine to be there. It's super child giving Vegan. It's

because Morgan Morning Star or whatever that thing is. They're they're cut into dinosaur shapes. See anybody got time for that? Anyways, I wanted to start off, of course, a little light, um to get the jokes, because if you know Michelle, she's gonna come in with the facts today. So I just wanted to start it off light with mine spreakers. Bet you know ready, um so ice spreaker time, We're

gonna do a quick flash run of would you rather? Okay, all right, um really feel free to jump in if maybe you disagree with her answer, Um, would you rather never use sex toys again? Or never use a microwave again? Get rid of the microwave? Okay? And I think I think that's easy, just because we all got of friars and ship Now. I'm gonna be honest. I haven't had a microwave in years. I gonna hold you. My apartment is always are so old, even my l a crib,

even though it's a new building. Well, they don't come with them, but I've always had to buy microwave. And there's a place to put the microwave. No really, yeah, they don't most most apartments, some of them do before they do between New York now. But you barely get a door. You lucky if you have a wall to your bedroom. Actually a very fair point. Do you have any two bedrooms? I've looked at right like it's this the one toy be like, it's a flex It is a luxury, just not to have to walk up seven

floors and there's an elevator door. I had the nerve before I lived here, I'll suck some dude on the fifth floor. And I was like, I'll never live like this, bitchy, we're just like that. The very next uh um, Okay, So the next one is would you rather have sex that only ever lasted three minutes or three hours? Do I get to use a vibrator three minutes? I would pick three minutes or three hours? Are you kidding me?

What kind and every talking penetration? That mean dog? The same way I told her when when she when you give head, when you get head, that sex because it's oral sex. I want three hours, bro, But what if I'm a horny and I don't have that kind of time? Because when you gotta a little into your motherfucking cow rich of the microwaves like this, this is it and keep it pushing. Here's the thing. No, no, no, no,

oh done? See what the quickies? I always want more when I go, like for the three hours, like a long night of fucking bitch. That kind of set me up good for the week, Like I'd be good. I mean, my pussy needs need a break too, but i'd be good. I'd be feeling great. But if that's all you can get, no, no, no, no, this is why I have loop on both sides of my bed. Oh baby, And no drying is happening. If I even feel like he's getting dry, you're gonna spit or you're gonna use the loop what it is? You

know what I mean? Oh yeah, ain't no friction happening in here, baby, not the bad kind of No. Okay, okay, okay, I'll go to three hours. Um, last one? Would you rather never have? And this is for you and I really not not really feezy. We might have to add another, uh substance? Would you rather have? Would you rather never have another cocktail again? Or never receive oral set? Which I drink alcohol just because I get drunk fast doesn't mean I don't drink. I just drink less than you.

I mean the kind of life I live. I guess oral sex is out the door. I hate to say. I'll get a toy that simulates it. There we go, you go get the rose. What's your thoughts on the rose? Have you used the rose? Um? I've used air pulse technology, which is recreated by um, but a pole technology. Woman, It's it's the sex thing is the rose. It's the same concept, right, Um, it's that kind of pulsating air kind of sucks in and it is great. But I

do want to let people know. Oh here she go. Um, if you if you are pierced, you should not be using that toy at all. Wait why because the ring can get caught, It says it in the instructions. You don't read the instructions. Set even go hold You just look at me like, all right, we're I'm telling me hold on, hold on. I'm just trying to think of Mandy reading an instructions I read. No, no, no, I read, I read. You go into my room, saying Mandy opened the strap on and she's sitting in front of the

nick and she goes, okay, start slowly. I'm first off, wait, wey sex toys don't give you instructions on how to use it. I don't think it would, right, it tells you where to place it wait inside of the other person. I mean, like for something like that, it would probably should I go get a sex toy from the other room to see what it was like. Look like, oh, there's one right here. Hold we have it. Great, We

love a little resident and his sex toy and bam. Okay, so this don't say who's from because they ain't pay for this episode. Well not for this episode, but they've paid four episodes with us. All right, love honey. So by the way, I have used all of them. Um, but yeah, read the instruction gainners antal cat um. How

do you use your plut plug? Cover the butt plug with water based anal lubricant, insert gently into the anus care and safety plenty of water base Hold on, let me see, I'm saying we can't give it as a gift. Now that still going to do? You know how many people have given lube and anal plug ship to like astro Glide has given us so much fucking lube. I'm like, nigga, I don't know if I'll ever need this much love

in my lifetime. Like it's so much love like I never had too much loo when you have an orgy. This instruction the only thing I see. Oh wait, the bas the butt plug against her batteries, the bottom ship vibrate like I'm au be the plus and probes for every sensation. There's a slender taper tippy. Okay, maybe she's reading is fundamental. First of all, First off, I knew it all went into the asshole because it is the beginner's an't o kit, right, and then I just started

with the small one and worked my way to funk up. Daddy, here you go. Yeah, see that came really good. I'm my account and calling me um all right, well um, now that you just gave me that I did not even know it really did all that. And that's all the toys. Toys, Yeah, cleaning instruction. I clean them, Um, good for you. I clean I do. I clean him every time. And my man has even gotten any better. He'll like collect all of them and put him in

the sink. Right, so right, you feel men, Yes, and even the rag that I used to wipe up all the jes throw that thing up in there too, So I just in the same everything's in the sink. Everything's in the sink, and I can put stainless steel. Actually it is, mandy. I don't you don't give washing dishes when I feel like you wait a moment to wash dishes. Well, that's why he does it, because otherwise they still have you seen like your cereal bowl and your coffee mug.

And also I don't eat in my room, so there's not no dishes in my room ever, not your room. I'm saying when they put he puts them in the sink. No, he puts them in my bathroom sink. I'm already here thinking, no thinking on my bathroom sink. I am not washing my dial dough because inshesh. Yeah, that's why I was thinking. So I have washing like I have cleaning foam, and then I'll lay them out like to dry before I put them back. But I have the cleaning foam and

I just washed it with lukewarm water. Smart the smartest cookie, and I never have. I am not putting my dial dos in my motherfucking dishwasher. My dishwasher get hot, Bitch, I open it thing one time, bitch almost melted. All I know. Dishwashers got so hot. You know, this is my first time having a disition. Not only do you not get doors to your bedroom in New York? Definitely don't get it? Definitely one would you read the motherfucking they got a washing d know the fact that I

have a dishwasher and washer and drawing My unit. Friends are like, bit, you made it, sure did? Off the island you came. Yeah, your house is beautiful. Thank you. Well, we're gonna get now into our vanilla ship. If you do not know, this is where we talk about sex in the news. Um. And again, if you don't know this woman's face by now, you may have seen her recently when she went viral. Um, I want to play it, okay,

because I was gonna play the clubs. I don't. Do you think that we, if any of us different opinions, would agree or disagree with you. I think this was out of contact. Next, so I think once we get into the like minutia of it, you'll be like, oh, that actually makes sense. M That's That's what I'll say based on the clip. Did you agree with her or disagree?

Absolutely disagree? Okay, okay, and I mainly but you agree I agree with her, So I disagreed simply off the basis that from the clip I saw, because no, I didn't want to us because now people don't know. Let's can we then? Can you play the clip? Yes? Man, okay, I are you trying to beat me up? Why are you trying to murder me? I want to be very very clear. The language by which we talk about sex

and black communities is disturbing. We talked about often to beat it up, I'm gonna shoot up the club, I'm gonna murder the pussy. Why are we using violent language to describe and into the act. I don't know you so well known. She brought it. You brought it here today with not a new not Now we're gonna right all right, you know. So basically the context of this, uh, you were expressing how, um, I'm gonna beat the pussy up. We also just had another guest who said, I'm gonna

fun the ship out of her. Um. We again, there's all these ways of how we talk about or or men specifically discuss how they're gonna beat our pussies up or murder our pussy and the things like that. You said that it is detrimental on how the black community uses words around sex. Now, you said you completely disagree.

So I would love to hear why you disagree, and then I would love for you to do what you couldn't do on this show and deep dive further deep dive first, I guess, okay, yeah, So for me, we've had so many conversations where we talked about safe spaces and like what's a safe space to do things in? Or how like you know what I mean, like get your kinks off, which you know about. So that surprised me because all I could think of, like was why

are we policing sex language? Right? Um, for me, I understand beating pussie up because I'm like, oh, because you say you're hitting it right, Like that's what I thought you pound it. But also, I don't think it's a

learned trait that I like to have rough sex. I'm a super emo girl, Like I like the feeling of being grabbed on it like masculinity girls too, right, So like I like the hardness sometimes of a man and sex like obviously rough sex when I want to do something super intimate may not be my vibe, but no, like I don't think there's anything wrong with that language

as long as it's consensual. There's where we get kind of dicey because what I was actually talking about didn't have shipped to do with what you choose to talk about in the bedroom. You want to have that language in the bedroom, that's not a problem. What I'm talking about is how in public spaces, how in our music, in our entertainment, we use that type of language. Maybe

I don't want to have my pussy beat up. Maybe I do, but I don't want you to come up to me at the monthfucking grocery store and say, Beach, I can't wait to beat up that pussy. But even if we're talking about music, just playing Devil's Advocate here, there's a place where R and B. You know what I'm saying, My a ntfire is lover, I think it don't be talking about beating the pussy up crazy when he does. He does, but also he'd be getting all

super stentual, you know what I'm saying. So, like I feel like when it depends on the music I'm listening to. If I'm listening in the future, I expect him to talk like that. If I'm listening to the City Girls, I expected to talk like that. So if it's in music, shouldn't I don't know, And I guess I'm also that girl that doesn't really give a funk about guns, drugs and holes in music either, particularly because I listened to a lot of white trash music too, where they talk

about some dumb crazy ship getting high. My favorite song what It's Like by ever Last they talked about getting high, smoke, crack, all kind of ship. But like not they know they're talking. It's a white it's a white thing. I didn't know, no, no, no, So, like I think the beat in the pussy up context, if it is in music, is it horrible? Like do we then have to take away everything? Because like, yeah,

that's that kind of dialogue for that setting. But my thing is is why is that our only type of dialogue? I would say majority, I think we have normalized it in a way. And here's the bigger part. He literally just had a black man sit on the couch and he literally talked about sucking the ship out of someone, fucking like, and I said, you really want to suck

the ship out of someone? When we uh, welly like when he was describing even sex with a woman everything, And I'll say, oh, really, fun ship, especially because I knew we were gonna have Michelle on. I was playing close attention to how he was explaining sex and interactions with women, and it was very like but you know you were there right, It was still very rough, But you know, did you not talk like that? Hold on me?

But it's her length, which that she's choosing. One of the things I want to point out here is because a lot of people were like, first of all, I am a black woman. So to all the people who were like, who is this trans racial? Uh black passing woman? I am a black woman, it was disgusting. I was disgusted. Disgusted. We come in all shapes, Okay, I've just heard on the shape like I only beat up. Okay. And here's the thing. If you like rough sex, ship, who doesn't

like rough sex? From time to time? I think what I'm talking about is in general conversations, we tend to only use violent language, even to the extent where other people have asked me to come on the podcast to discuss this very thing, and they themselves I felt like I was right, but they didn't have any other words besides beat it up. Wait wait wait, wait, elborate. They

were talking about sex. They all the language people were using was beat it up, and like nobody here right, nobody was like, oh, well, you know we're having sex, or we're less likely to say I want to have intercourse than we are to say I'm gonna beat the pussy.

So I did. I did want to scu Then since that is so violent and you're saying that a lot of people that that invited you onto their shows had no other usage of language, what are other ways than we as a community can express because I'm wait, wait, we should first say I'm gonna go back and forth many because if I got had really good sex last night, I'm probably gonna say, which makes me feel like a total horn nowt Michelle, but she fucked dogshit out of me?

What about you? What would you say? I don't probably say he sucked me real good or she sucked me real good. But yes, like man, we fucked all night, like we fucked you. See, this is what I'm saying. This is why I'm bringing this up. But we don't have any other language. Now, I think there is a couple of things so that violent though beat Also, I should I do want to say this because this is the part that I don't think people understand, and I

didn't get to talk about. You have to remember, I've worked in sex education for many years, and I've worked with young people children, and this is the language they're using. I actually had a middle school class tell me that the way that they get their first kiss is through play fighting, and one person wrestles the other one to the ground, and that is how it starts. So this is what I'm saying, people, we have to think beyond our own little universes to who else is hearing us,

because oftentimes I'm not gonna younger people. And what you're saying to brings me back just uh thinking of uh, the playing hard to get, and I think that that starts really young and it's something that we're taught that we should do as women. However, it leads to those mixed signals with men. They just assume that they have to pursue more or push more, which then puts us into those uncomfortable situations when we really mean no, stay away.

Like the playing hard to get creates those blurred lines. So I think that Michelle Den, what you're saying is knowing that this is trickling down to children and teenagers who are getting into those you know ages where they're gonna try sexual things. It's leaving to where it's gonna lead to maybe more people experiencing trauma. Right. Also, we don't have a good sex education system here, so it's

like who who is actually giving them correct information. They're going on porn sites which are also violent, super super missogyny, and it's like patriarchal, this idea of women should be more demure and and that's not for black women. Historically.

This is another thing that really people don't understand, even men, being Black men being so sexually uh like charged and these it comes from white supremacy, it comes from it comes from this idea that the black man and his big black dick are sex beasts, and they historically were looked at as the rapist. Therefore, the black women could never be raped because she is his counterpart, which oftentimes leads to further exploitation of black men and black women

sexually since the beginning of motherfucking slavery. Now I agree with you on that front, but also it's hard for me in this context because where I while I know where you're coming from, I don't know if I could stop using that language myself. Because I think that I enjoy it. And she said, you can say because you're expressing something that you enjoy. But also, here's the other thing.

Uh if a man does say that to his to his homeboy, right, But let's just say, even podcast talk, two niggas are talking about how they fun lson bitches last night, how they were beating pussy and they already know. Immediately look at these dudes like they're doing something wrong because they're talking about sex the same way that I am. Again, and this is also not pick me talk more than this is like Devil's advocate. Because I do have very intimate sex with my partner. Anyone in this room, I'm

gonna start crying first. I am that girl. I love to be fuck slow kissed me and talked to me whatever. But depending on that moment, I don't know. And I think that when I'm having casual sex, I do like to talk about in that way because that's the sex I want. Right. So should we be looking at men like they're fucked up for talking like this amongst other men? Is it because it's making women look bad? Well, here's

my thing. I think we just need to be more aware of our language I'm not saying you need to fully stop. I just asked the question. I just presented the question, why do we use this language? And we have discovered here that we don't have any other words? Are we we don't have any other words? And then people wanted to be like, well, white people say it, White people girls be like, uh, funck my brains out again. That is a woman choosing that language, and that's her consent. Whatever.

I am not shaming anybody for the language that they use in the bedroom. I want to be very clear about that. I just posed the question to get us to think about it because and now I'm going to give you some statistics. According to the FBI, in t at least four black women and girls were murdered every single day. Additionally, for every Black woman who reports rape, at least fifteen do not one in four Black girls will be sexually abused before eighteen. One in five black

women are survivors of way. Thirty percent of Black women experienced some form of contact sexual violence during a lifetime. Forty sixty percent of Black women report being subjected to coercive sexual content by the age of eighteen. Seventeen percent of black women experienced sexual violence other than rape by an intimate partner during their lifetime, and the statistics go on and on and on and on. So I only presented that question to get us to stop and think

for a moment where does it come from? Because it is all rooted in patriarchy, and the roots of patriarchy is white supremacy. So what we have done is we have not explored our own internalized racism and how we have processed that, and now we are just spewing it back out onto our own communities, onto our the people we love. And and there is currently a lot out of hate for black women, like I know that there is a viral crypt talking about It's a wonderful day

to be a black woman. No, the funk, it's not. It's hard as a motherfucker. You got podcasters out here talking about I don't ride the night train, blue, black, blue back. You know, it was very hard for me to watch about that clip. And I don't want to talk about the news, but if I could think of the most African looking face features, full lips, nose, skin tone, and that was the most self hating thing I've ever heard, and all I could think of when I watched it

was right. Like the things that I hated about myself the most were the things that I wanted to change or would notice on other people. Right when I was growing up, hated my hair right. I couldn't understand like even people would ask me why you light skin, but your hair is rough like that. I hated it. When I was growing up, I was obsessed with hair or not understanding the length of hair and things like that. Took me a long time to love my hair and

wear protective styles. All like to think is someone's either made front of your skin, your nose, your lips. Honestly, and this has nothing to do niggas are gorgeous to me, Black women, black men. That nigga's ugly not because of his nose or lips. It's just him, the language he uses, the way that he talks about any he's just so small minded. You're watching him like he's not that hot.

I just think there's a lot of he's not even conventionally attractive for like anything you would expect from a Miami guy that over the top, change the way he dresses. If I didn't look at his face, he'd still be ugly. So to watch him talking about black women this way was just wild. And so I say that to say, like the self loathing thing, like, I do understand how

that comes out. But in terms of bringing it back to that clip, everything that you said about, you know, black women being over sexualized in black men, I do agree with, and I think that that's something that we're all not super conscientious of. But I don't necessarily know if in the context of talking about sex violently, if I really think that we do it more than anyone else. I've seen the most disgusting, painful to watch violent sex

from on white point sites. Absolutely, you know what I'm saying, ghetto gaggers ship, especially the way that it does the colonizers. They are violent, and that's like it's bad. So I think sex in general has been super violent. But I don't know. I like, I like just the posing of the question to just think beyond what you've been taught and to try, if you can, to just remove it. In terms of I'm just saying, like I'm not even saying again, people kept saying, why is she policing me

in the bedroom? I don't give a ship what you choose to say in the bedroom, because I know I'd be saying wild things, wild things, you know, all the things. Choke me, spank me whatever, right, pull my hair right.

But I just think we have to be more conscious because there are a lot of and this happens in spaces where it goes viral and then young people are seeing and we're not providing them with any context, and we don't know our own history, we don't understand the VI and according to Florida, they trying to make it where the kids ain't never gonna learn about. You can't say, you can't say nothing you're gonna be able to do.

Now they're doing this new thing called like transparency where they want teachers to turn in their syllabuses for approval from parents. It's it's out of control. But what people have to understand is this is going to continue to chip away at the right, the rights and opportunities for people of color. I wanted to uh move forward just so that we can get to talking sex. That was a good explanation though. That was a real watched that clipus. I know a lot of people didn't. I was like, damn,

they got me tripping sound ship bro man. Anyway, all right, so why are we that you was talking with the vagina tobit people also the ending an intimate act. You act a lot when you're talking, like you have a very like performing presence, and that's what made that clip so fun. I'm sorry that people said those things about you, though, I'm sure that it happens interne um. All right, So we're gonna get into our hord derve for this week, and we are giving you the hord Derve. So the

horde Derve is our sex tip of the week. And I did want to. I did want you to. Really, I'm glad you got the puppet out. So you have a very funny meme on your page that says the clitterest is not a d J booth. Sorry it's not. So can you give some tips on interacting with the clip? Okay, so a couple of things. Um, First and foremost, the most important way to interact with the clip is to talk to it. Wait arth Well, first of all, when I say that, talk to the owner of the clip

out like what are you like? Question? What are you like? What are you doing? What do you like? I like to be rebbed solved. I think my point is communication. I like, oh, look, two hands that seems this is a large but it is a big pussy. But you want to like just you know, remember oh, actually, yeah, that's the because you're gonna sound because this is the So this is what the clip actually looks like. Right, this is your and all of the all we see is this little to any tiny piece right here. It's

like the tip of the ice sperg. Okay, there's all this good stuff underneath, so we only see the tip and then this kind of sits in and under like the laby. Okay, So I think the first thing you should do is you want to get the blood flow to this region. So start with a massage on the inner thighs. Massage that kind of pubist mount, right. You don't want a massage that because that'll start that blood flow.

Then once the blood flow happens, the clip willing gorge and natural the hood will kind of retract a little um and so then all right now here, and then I would say, like, you know, people want to just be like man like you want I know, right, you are really just caress and massage. By the way, By the way, guys, if y'all are just listening to the instruction, if you go on over to YouTube type and Horrible

Decisions podcast. You can see an actual she has a whole vagina in her hand and letting you know how to engorge the clip. I of course see this is what I'm saying. The laby on aside, and don't forget about that paraneum honey, that space between the google um yeah, the gaunch, the gooch, the whatever. It's the pus, the hole and the anus. Yeah, so it's as but you really and remember please remember this is what I meant by d J booth. You know, turntables usually is pretty

much manufactured. It's all they saying. They're all pretty much the same. I DJ alone, but I don't want someone to DJ. This is what I'm saying. You should ask me what I like? Know what you just you don't stumble in you guys who want you to know that. But I want you to take your time. I want you to talk to the person that owns the clitteress and ask them what they like, because what Mandy Light is it might not be what I like. And I'm

not gonna lie. The one thing that I've really um, I'm not a fan of and maybe because this is how I play with myself. I don't like a lot of pressure applied. And I've been with men who really like try to like put push my clip back in right and it don't. It's really hard. I get that. I don't know, but I don't like a lot of pressure. Feel so much better to just be soft just more so much like a little more pressure. We have a lot of nerves. There is eight thousand and the clitterest.

So you just want to make sure you're like you just kind of you don't talk to the owner, asked them what they like. Maybe even let's get real sexy. How about you show me how you with DJ yourself. Okay, so this is my favorite thing, my entire vagina. Uh, I'd like it to be touched. And I feel like men just like want to open my pussy and they just want to start like licking it or putting their fingers in it. Like dude, stop, take your fucking whole face or mouth or your hands and like get the blood.

Especially if you got a beard, Oh my god, a little put you and you've got a big nose, put your nose in their motherfucker. You know what I'm saying. I wasn't getting fun of that last dude's nose. I was just saying, I think he hates his own nose. But what I would have done was put it right about that and ridden that not something to do with it, and I smell good, Get all of it in there and question. I have a question real quickly. Yeah, so I've been with women before, whore I've been really shy

about telling me what they'd like. Oh yeah, what is a good way to have them open up comfortably and with consent? Uh so, then you could help him out in the bedroom? Multiple choice? There is that you know that I really I will I want I won't list, which we talked about the last time I was here, as well as setting up a sex date. Um, so that's where you go on a date. You can review the will I will, I want I won't list. That's kind of intense. I will I'll email it to you.

It's kind of intense because it has all the different sex. Where are you going to you go to get to your house, get a pizza and you know, a Bible, wine and just But the whole goal is to not actually have sex that night, because what happens is, remember your brain is the most important part. It gets you excited. Um, you know, you could do some texting and be like, hey,

could we talk about what you like? There are some games where um, you would start a fantasy with one sentence and and then you fold that over, and then you give it to your partner and they write one sentence and then they fall that over and then another sentence and then you read all these acts. Like you know, the prompt would be like you're on a beach, now what's gonna happen? And then wheezy, you would write something down and then you would fold it and then Mandy,

you know I love doing much. That's terrible, that sounds awful, but yeah, it's really about creating opportunities to have conversations. You could also say, um, you know, babe, I I caught a glimpse of this porno the other day and I found myself really turned on. What do you born? I blame porn all the time, like, and just be like, oh,

do you want to try this? These are ways to start opening up lines of communication, because that's what we're not doing because we're too busy out here talking about I want to beat up the plus mine. You guys only got three SIPs three words, it's like I want you to I was facing out so because I was really trying to think of like another word that I was used instead of like he sucked me hard and

I'm like, wow, like we made love. No, it was really intimat I want someone to valprehend my ass' what word? But I'm just saying, like, how can we get more creative? No, I'm not. I don't get it. Well, they know I

don't know what they just limited over here? Well no, but that would be my advice, just trying to make up make a time when you guys just talk about sex or your fantasies but don't actually have it, because then you get kind of hot inside and you're like if I can't even get it on, I love Uh that we kind of led right into the horrible decisions.

So I hope that you guys have been taking notes. Um. I know we've talked about partners, but I literally wanted to talk about talking sex specifically with you, because, um, we do it around strangers, we do it with friends, sometimes, we do it with family, um, and of course we

do it with partners. And I wanted to kind of all of us share and discuss some of the most uncomfortable sex conversations we've had with our friends, family and lovers, and kind of what even ed and hinted too was getting over the uncomfortable phase of just talking sex with those certain groups of people. Um So, I guess that's where we start with, like, do you guys, off the top of your head, have a scenario or story about just talking about sex with either a family member, a lover,

or a friend. Um So, you know, my sex talk growing up was my mom's a lesbian, get yours first and get out many ship. So I mean that's work but very valid. And then I think when it comes to like friends, the most awkward is when it's like I'll get a text message and it's like, gir, I have this lump? Can you tell me what it is? It's like, no, Beach, I can't. I'm not a clinic. I used to do that to uh Dr Kim at least doctor No. But she called me and she was

I think we had episode seventeen. She was on It's crazy Remember Numbers. But she calls me and she's like, Gila, I love you, Han, but like, you can't call me with your Regina staff all the time. He's like, just go to the doctor. And then when I found out it's a raise your bop and I spend three dollars. Bitch, I this is why we need our friends. Yeah, and I think that's okay, But your friends don't have medical degrees. That's why let's do web MD together. Just look at

this place. We actually at that point, you're pregnant, have AIDS, or you're about to die. Those are all of the way Those are all of the ways that web MD normally ends. Um it's weird because I I'm everyone's go to with sex for my friends, um, and I hate it. Like literally, I just walked my friend through having the conversation with with like the guy she's dating now, um because I talked about it with welly. But the guy that she's with knocked her period on. But that was

his first time seeing period blood. So even he he made the unawkwardness like, uh, what is it called announcement? I guess I'm just gonna say announcement. But when he got into the shower, he was like, yeah, like your membranes. I saw your membranes. It was going down the drain, but I they were blood clot Yeah, I mean, that's definitely the lining and that was that was his first time. So she was like a membrane called membranes bro And I was like, might have had a sex sad class

sometime and and so literally he's a uterine lining. Well he's been like he's really into fingers in the butt, but she's scared that when the finger comes out, there's gonna be shipped there. There probably will be. And so literally that's the conversation I had top where I was like, well you hadn't already seen membranes and blood clots and literally did that bad? If you're gonna do booty sex, you gotta know there's gonna be pooped there even had

I said, there's some particles. So she said, so that's the conversation. And my advice to her was, will have this conversation with him. Well before sex, they all are just sucking, chilling or maybe not out all at lunch but maybe grabbing drinks. I said, bring up, hey, what would your how would you react if U ship just happened to be on your hand or situation? Right like,

how would you you know, think about that? And so literally she's like, girl, we fell into the conversation, not having sex, and she was like she laughed because she was like, it was so much easier than I thought it would be. Yeah, but we just openly talked about the blood situation and then we brought it to a shitty situation and she was like, I was so shocked at how open he was to just talking about ship and blood. Well that's a good keeper. That's a keeper.

A couple of things I think I do want to say is, first of all, practice in the mirror by yourself if you're worried practicing what talking a conversation? Yeah, like talking if you don't have a friend that you can trust, like you, Mandy or you. I sort of I thought you were saying practice, but she's saying talk to yourself in a mirror, Like, because I thought you're gonna say, see what comes out. Okay, that's not where

it was. So I think that's you know, practice with your home girls, you know, and do some role play, not sexual roleplay, but having the conversation, because a lot of times it is easier than we think it's gonna be. A lot just we have this mental block. So if you totally but if you practice with a friend who gives you all the reactions like oh you nasty, how or whatever, then when you go and have it, it's

not that bad. Also, I do want to say this, and I think this is important for us in this space. You have to set boundaries, right um, when it comes to your friends always asking you for advice, or even for me when I go on podcast, when people want to ask me about my personal sex life, I try very hard not to share, not because I'm approved, not because I'm not having sex, but more because I need a little bit of my own person Like I don't need you to know what I like and what I

don't like. Because I like sex. I think sex is great. I love masturbation, I love being kinky. But how is me telling you my detailed sex life gonna help it? I really mean, we've helped a lot of people I know you have. I don't want to discredit. First of all, I'm not discrediting because I think this is your podcast and it's so beautiful that you're willing to and able

to be so open. I've been doing this for so long and do it in so many different spaces that I really just try to hold back a little because sex is my whole life, like I want, I want something that is not for myself, like just for me and my lovers. Can I ask you, do you think that bringing comedy into sex in the bedroom helps? Because I think that the way we talk about sex it would be funny, this should be funny. Will not be telling back stories. I just I always laugh at it.

So do you believe that that's a healthy approach as well? We have to understand that for a lot of us, we've experienced trauma around all of these things. And you know, while I think it's great that we give people advice and we're in this space and people trust us and tell us their stories and we are able to tell our stories, sometimes telling these stories can bring up trauma

for ourselves. And then who do we run to? If if if the three of us, everybody else is looking at to like be great and have all the answers when we are breaking down, who can we go to? And I think that that's important to like recognize, And so I always encourage people like, you know, you can talk about these things if you want to. Um, I try to be polite when I'm like, I don't need to tell you, like what vibrator I pulled out this morning, right, um. But I try to just keep it some type of

humor in it. I try to let people walk away feeling good, um, and feeling affirmed and knowing that they're normal. They're they're like sex is so different for everybody, and there is no there is no weird. There is no abnormal unless it's non consensual or and that's about it. Like, as long as what you're doing is consensual, I'm always here to give advice. Now I do privately judge, and then sometimes I'll judge in your face, like the Tickle episode.

I don't think that Nigga is crazy weird, but I was like, that's weird for me. And I'll tell you why. There are certain types of sex out here, and I mean weird. And I say weird with pleasure because I love talking about some weird ship, whether it be the photographer, which you all always laugh at me saying because he is so normal, um, the A B D L, the diaper fetish like ship like that. Like when I hear about outlandish sex, I start to feel like, you know what, Damn,

I'm vanilla. Should I even have this podcast? Because Nigga, I've never fucking whipped out of diaper. But at the same time, do I need to to have this degree? Like I love talking about those types of kinks that are all the way out there because that's really when you get to the nitty gritty of like, Okay, this is like real sex talk. We're not just crafting the surface of am I gonna have a threesome? Is he

gonna tie me up? Like? I love those conversations of like that super alternative sex life because even this podcast has made me feel like sex club and swinging because of your experiences, Like it's not that crazy I started, and it never has been. It's also not as sexy as you might think. I gotta take it. I gotta take it and stuff w thing. I brought my friend who is well, she's super vanilla. I took her there one night itself. You mean, well, no, we'll talk about um.

But I took her there and she enjoyed it because she actually thought it was going to be a lot more uh animalistic, And she when I brought her there, she just looked and she was like all the men everything was so intimate way that the men were. You always talk about how great it is you said, it cannot be so sexy. That's what I want to hear. Why would you say something cannot be that Atlanta wasn't sexy. I've definitely talked tell me what you mean about sex

club cannot be that sexy. I said, what I'm saying is they're not always as sexy as we imagine. Tell me what you mean, middle age, it's not. And I was sure they had Confederate flags and they trus We we romanticize this idea about how sexy it's gonna be and everybody's gonna be as good looking as me or better looking than me, and oftentimes it is not. It is a lot of bodily fluids, you know, Um, it's it's it can awkward moments. Think about sex in general,

there's some awkward moments. So imagine doing it for funny people. I have both experiences, right, like when it comes to in a seb w um, you know, I got to experience it and people got to watch it on sex cells, like we got to take the camera through and see that people were hot there. But then I've also been to sex clubs where I was like not impressed. Yeah, like I mainly because of how I thought that people looked. And I don't feel bad for saying this because I

don't care. I don't care. You are a person that thinks that you're not hot. You don't even want to go on a sex club where you think it's gonna be some ugly motherfucker's that. I mean, it's weird because, to be honest, like I've been in like those types of room and spaces um, and to me, I realized how much, especially with women I the type that I think I have when I'm in that space and I get a vibe, I realized how much energy is more important in those spaces. Um. Safety and just feeling free

with someone goes far beyond looks. So if you're in the right space, like I've been with women that I probably wouldn't look at maybe walking down the street, but maybe because we just sat there and talked or petted each other, it went further than I think it normally would have went, Like walking in I've definitely I've had your vibe before. Oh I want to, I want to. I mean I've been to some other spaces that I

was like, oh wow, that's very hot. Oh it's I gotta bring you to the spot for the for the most part, I'm not that sex clubs to the one, the one downstairs. Oh we'll talk, yes, the one downstairs. Wait, it's not you have sex and sex stuff. Tell us your sex club experience. I will not. All right, she just said, I don't think you know what I'm saying is I'm saying, share it. You will not one. I don't know what I do there too, because you know, I may go to be a vayer, I may go

to participate. Um, but but that is a great example of, like I think, wanting to be able to have that experience and that moment to always relation whatever it was I did, whether it was impact play, whether it was flogging, whether it was being an a dominant position or a

submissive position. I think that you know, for me, that's you know, those are memories I'll hold for myself when you talk about impact play, like, it's interesting because um, Mandy talked about experience where she got tied up in Orlando and it was super hot. Like that to me is still engaging in a sex club. But people will always say, like, do you fucking sex clubs? Things like that? Like I like, I think that we forget about the

other things you could. If you go to a sex club, you are engaging in a sex club as a bowyer, even if you don't touch anybody. And I'm not gonna I'm not gonna lie. There's a lot of times, and me and my partner talked about it. He can count all less than a hand how many times he's actually even had sex or dealt with other people. Like when we go ay, we like watching. When I bring my friends, they like to watch. They don't too much like to

engage unless they're with their partner. But there's massages, like I said, there's petting. When we was on Molly, which we was all just petting each other. It was just arms, shoulders, legs. No one had intercourse, no one even masturbated. It was all just petting and laying and cuddling. Um, Like I said, there's massaging there. And there are also a lot of the sex toys, so you have the flogging, the whipping, the spanking. I mean no, I've definitely had a you know,

a good experience at end STUW. But overall, like I don't know, maybe because I'm also picky too, I have like when I go through drafts of sex it's because I'm not key about dick, so I'm not shocked that I'll go to a place with thirty people and be like, Okay, now if I could walk up to a bar and I'll find a nigga. The thing about the sex leave, though, and I would encourage anyone to try it out to go is just I think it's definitely a bucket listening to do. I would it's like one bucket less thing

to do. And also like the pressure of having sex and people like thinking that you're not fucking doesn't really exist like you think it does. Right, Um, do we have a whole meal? Yes, we do. Help us Dr Michelle. So this one, of course is asking for tips. And since we talked about the clips, since we talked about talking sex, this uh involves masturbation. So good afternoon, Wheezy and Mandy. I hope this email finds you out. I'm

a twenty year old woman. I feel like Wheezy is the older version of me besides the white boy face and touching other cred Maybe one day, though, I recommend that y'all get your genitals, especially if you have great orgasms already, And I do want your opinion on genitals. Um, it doesn't hurt, I promise, or maybe I'm unfazed by pain now, But none of that has anything to do with my question. I can sunk myself pretty well, if I must say so myself. But I am in search

of new masturbating tips. I hear Wheezy got the activity down to a science. So any tips and tricks that are not commonly known best b EPs. And I gotta read this ps because it's crazy. I don't want to make y'all feel old, but y'all are close to my mother's age, and so sometimes listening to y'all is weird. Granted she had me at fourteen, but informative and all around great show. Just say your mama, hope, but it's okay. Well I'm gonna say nobody your mama. I'm gonna keep

it and shout up to your mama. Girl you Oh, it's not a bad thing if we say her mama, Ho, my mama ho wa wa yama. But I don't know that grandmama. What the fun? Why are you going? Everybody? Mama sho mama? Why? Girl? Weird? This okay? So let me because you know I'm away. We got to keep it but okay, so here's my thing. MAYA vice would be to start making masturbation a regular practice of self care. That's not a trick or a stick a dildo on

the wall, But I think it's honoring yourself. Nice tip and honoring yourself and honoring that intimate time with yourself. That would be my That would be and light candles, make sure your space is clean, put on some music, and do a little meditation before and really start visualizing what kind of orgasms you want. And then also like what orgasms have a lot of energy, so use that energy to manifest thoughts that bring you a prosperity, prove

prosperity or love or whatever you want. That's that would be my tip. I like that manifesting. Yeah, you know, we talked about a we interviewed. I forgot her name. Kristen's so lier maybe like she has a book which is slts in something or something. Anyway, I read the book like che We brought her on and she talked about sex magic and I do that ship all the day.

I'm all for it. And I think that like when we almost take like trying to figure out the orgasm out of masturbation, like I can masturbate a long time just to enjoy touching myself, and I think that's what we all should do. Sometimes. That goal of and even during sex, that goal of orgasm is a scary fucking place because now you're putting pressure on yourself, like it's just too much. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. It's

like an end and start date. You're just like, no, you should create it as something that is for you and really honor it as a ritual, ritual of self care. I like that answer. I do like that answer. No, I'm probably going to have one that girl, Okay, party here, Yes, we'll talk about that. Yeah, all right, well, Michelle, thank you so very much for joining us. And where can

people find you? I mean you can find me obviously on the social media at MH Expert on everything um and then my website at mate or not at www dot mh s expert. Stay tuned. I have some cool things in the pipeline, so you always got something cool on the pipeline. Yeah, so yeah, thanks for coming and explaining fucking having sex with Ava Ginta nicely. Fucking It's fine. It's the beat it up part. We're trying to learn

new words for okay, caressing, well fucking ship. I gotta learn how to say the need to learn some more words. You know, reading is fundamental, damn it. But that song I'm doing, Oh I'm sorry, that's definitely the song that came to mind from me. Too terrible and what was down? Beat it down? But no, not beating? Why are you beating it? It's be not the direction of beating. She went from beating it up to beat the down up. But I'd like to give the confusion in Michelle's face.

You know it is what it is. Guys. We hope you learned UH some good things tips and practices from this week's episode. Make sure you stay tuned. We are going to drop you, guys a five minute bonus clip after this from our patreon, so if you're all caught up and want to hear more episodes, we do drop one episode every week on our patreon this patreon dot com back slash see that backslash horrible decision um. And then we also do once a month town halls, which

are amazing. You get to join us on Zoom and we the this last month, UH did boost the Zoom account, so we now ship I think we had almost two hundred people in our last time, which was really really exciting, aside from the fact that someone started moaning and a dick was shown, and oh my god, this is why we have been trying to keep the ship down to the first time we go with the two hundred people,

somebody show. I'm gonna tell you right now, I'm very involved in our Patreon community because we've had that ship almost I don't know, yes, I don't know any other podcast that I had this ship for five years, but we have. And when I tell you, I will find your email, I will hunt you down, track you down to Chinatown. Don't you ever put your dick on my screen on warranty that this nasty? It was yourself too,

munch people. There were kids on that ship. People will put it on your fucking TV if you pulled your dick out. Yes we're talking about orgasms, but they know what they're gonna get. We didn't have to see that dusty dick okay, and it was dusty okay. Um. So yeah, make sure you join and support us. Also be sure to check out again. I am rebranding official box owner, So get your vitamins, get your work as a depositories and apple cider or gummies. Um. Again that's official box

owner dot com um. And again Michelle, thank you so so so support local orgasms. Right wheel and guys, this has been yet another episode of four Decisions. Fight Me it's bonus, bitches, Welcome to another cinema episode. Alexa, shut your grass up, boom, that's how talk to her. I just got an election, God making me feel like the bitch is stalking me. Like I get worried about you. I've never that is my first Alexa. Really I don't

like I have. Um it's weird because I have two in my house, a Syrian my bathroom, and then I got my man uh one for his car. But he's old, so he just feels like you don't want nobody watching him. And I'm just like, you're not a criminal. They That's how I just felt. But lambea scared me. Are about us? They just tell us the weather and play our tunes. That's all they do. Lamba made me unplug it. Um. I wanted to play some rent fires and fuck and I was like, Alexa played rent Fires and he was like,

whoa wonderful that ship going on? Now you knew you was gonna activate her as bro Alexa stop, Alexa stop nothing, Alexa, turn it off you already. That's why he said he didn't want her around because they hear every thing. Okay. I said, fine, okay, I'll turn it off. He was like, played on your phone. So then I started playing it on my phone, but I chrome casted to the TV and then he was like, I thought your TV had internet. Why are you putting ship up on the TV now?

And it's talking like I don't like this ship and I was like, Nigga, what the fuck, Mandy, He's not even that old, Like this is how you know, even in the system too long, Like it's crazy, it's fun to me. Um. Also update, I told Old Bay two weeks ago. You guys probably heard me say that Lambeau is gonna get me a car. I called Old Bay right after the episode. I was like, you know Kodak black, because that's what you call him. He said, yeah, what's up. I was like, they niver want to get me a

car and pay my rent. He just was silent, and I was like what he said? Okay, Gila, what do you want me to say? I was like, I just want you to tell me whether you think that's crazy. His answer to that was saying, I know you're gonna do what you want to do regardless. That's that's what that response was giving. Do you want me to pick you up in a nice car when you visit l A your web bad? That's really what it is. That's really like the real question. So how did you respond

to that? Like if he said what do you want me to say? Like, what what type of response did you expect him to that? I was like, you know what kind of car I wanted? That car is like two thousands a month, Like is that really gonna drive you crazy? And he was just like, it's what you want to do, Gila. So it's giving I can't tell you what you do, well, it's given that, but also I can't tell you what to do, which I appreciate.

But I also feel like if he called me like and was like, this bitch wants to fucking buy X, Y and Z for me, you know what I'm saying, Like, you would have a fucking fit. Yeah I would, um, but you know I ain't gonna lie. I feel like the worst of it all was saying that I accidentally sucked him we're all like that was the real fucking embarrassing thing to call my wish to be honest, Mandy, he was so appreciative that I said it without like trying to bullshit around it when I came home, you

know what I'm saying. And I feel like I would have been the same way. Like when I really thought about it, I thought that he was gonna be like, bitter, you out of your mind, But if he called me, was like, yo, I mean that's what I'm saying. Mistakes happened, But a nigga paying your rent and get you a car, that's more like a relationship, which is why I'm wanted because I don't want him to think he could just take the card of off beats bitch. If a nigga

buys you a car your rent, he's not sucking. You would have condom ever, Okay, well that's who you can't do it, Damn. I wish I could just put the both of them like that, but um, you know, I mean it kind of sucks, but whatever. Anyway, Uh, yeah, that conversation was a little bit uncomfortable, and I think that also Lambeau like doesn't really like understand obey because

he doesn't really. I just don't think he gets it, Like I think he thinks this is some relationship off of TV, or like he thinks it's not like a real thing, Like he doesn't really maybe understand the openness because he's very like if you might, bitch, you can't fund me, aboudy type of naggin. But I'm having fun with him right now and I don't want it to end. So who knows they could blow up in my face. One of his baby mamas could fly here and kill me.

There's also that that's a big opportunity for that happened as them host damn show. One of them what was I gonna say? Hit him up and was like this bitch talking about you on her podcast and started like blowing up. She was like, who the funk else got a lamba and NIGGD. So I mean there's always that um you know, who knows. Hopefully they don't come get both of us. Bitch, I were gonna take this the car model, I thought about her, it's nothing that happens

with you. They ain't coming for us, which they're coming for you.