Ep 231: K*MMing out of depression

catch up for you, catch up for me. I mean, I ain't gonna hold your bit's been active, I've been been. I mean there's just a lot. There's a lot I can't talk about just yet. I don't want to talk about just a lot like it's a lot. No, um, more so work but no, uh, boyfriend, who's my ex? Who my boyfriend? We're doing We're doing good, but we're not doing good? Confused about when it's you know, and that could be confused? They can be confused. Um. I'm happy.

I'm happy, and I am currently having a whole lot of sex and the best sex of my life. And when they say you'll get it in your thirties, it's true the best sex of your life. Oh, I thought you meant the beach juice pill he takes. It's not there. No, feel don't believe know, I mean you know it is. It's it's great sex. And I'm actually trying to like tone it down because like now I'm having orgies at my house and I'm like, right now, so much girl I had there was seven people at my house. Woke up.

I had to have my cleaner coming again because I was like, this is intense. So at this point, everywhere we go we meet couples, we we be friend couples. And at this point we met a couple at the beach said Hey, want to join us for dinner. I went from dinner to hey, well want to come to the house, and then from there, I don't know. I really am weasy because I'm also I was on every type of edible, shroom, liquor and everything else. And it

was great when you invited the couple to dinner. Did you just want like a couple that was friends or did you definitely want to Well, no, the girl, the girl was fine and she sat by at the beach the whole day, and I was like, what about the nigga you ain't working? No, no, that couple was definitely new into the lifestyle, so they just watched me with the other couple and the other couple had a unicorn. Where did you meet the other couple at a party?

That where you meet the unicorn? I'm sorry, no, just don't ask me. That's why I'm saying, like I'm confused because I never thought that I would be this deep into the lifestyle. And I know you hate that word, but I don't hate. I'll just be joking about it because,

like Mandy says it, like I'm in. When I say I am in the lifestyle, holy fucking ship, like to where I'm just like, okay, I want to dip my toe out of the water just for a little bit and go back to normalcy and then we can come back, like I guess I feel like how you felt like when you were like me and Obey go everywhere and

we can suck anyone we wants. It becomes kind of like so fucked up to say that it really is great when you like we're just on the reason to have one that kind of like people being people, be typing us essays how do I get fucked? And I just be like, we'd be like, god, damn. We have a lot every week, we're in threesomes, foursomes, flasoms, ship like, okay, break time and break. So they just all slept over. What did the cat? Didn't sleep over? But what did

the cat do? The cat? The cat is At this point, Body just knows. I'm a whole body, by the way, for y'all just tuning in. Is my cat. Bro. We're sitting here eating Strom chocolates, playing games. I'm dripping and dancing, and body just up on a goddamn chair just looking at everyone, just sitting looking at everyone. And you know, black people at least released two out of five just don't funk with cats or allergic. So now I just

have this. They're tech ready when anyone comes in my house. Hey, not sure your feelings on cats, but here's our tech, here's their tech. I don't know what I would do if Nina started. What would I do? For those of you watching on YouTube? My child is here. I haven't had sex in friend her yet. It will happen, she he it. You don't know how they want to be Idina, It don't matter. You don't know how they want to be identified. You didn't know and which we got chewed

out for it. I know, So we need to sit here, go check. I'm gonna say that the names. Don't just classify your child by what you don't know. They want to be referred to us. Well, she I think she's also a hole like me, But I just know she don't like niggas like that my cat, my cat don't like niggasine, what is racist? As pets? Harmy? Are? I mean if anyone loves curb your enthusiasm like me, I said, nigga okay, do you remember that? Larry Day was like, I didn't say me. I said, you are. So we're

talking about males here like niggas, which is great. But I knew that because when she when I when I got the dog, her brother was there and he was getting on her nerves and she was like please, and I was like, this is my dog hates niggas too, which don't hate hate, but they do be getting on the nerves. But I don't know. I was with the orgy what other things. I was literally about to be like wheezy now update us on your life. Like I was just gonna talk about how my foot is broken,

but like, let's get back to the cat. I mean, mine only gets broken because I'm getting like eight and a half rounds in the morning after having orgies the night before. You know, it's just a lot. So you prepare the cat to go up and look, and then you do not prepare to cats to look. Did you get food? You don't get a little create you're something for the cat? No, the cat doesn't have a crate,

got full roam of the month apartment? Oh no, that's why i'd be scratching on the door when you're getting fucked. Absolutely not the bed. He actually is under the bed. While while I'm fucking normally you heard that, you hear my child. I will say this one thing, having an animal in the house that knows your schedule, because now this little bit, they were like, oh, make sure you feed her at eight, one and five. Absolutely not, she eats when I get up. I'm not about to just

fucking who told you that? The like the puppy trainers and all these dogs eat three meals a day puppies, But I was like, she eats when I get up that's when we start. And if mommy goes to sleep at two am, you go to sleep it two and you need it ten thirty as well. I'm not about to do bullshit, are you kidding me? Also hate to say it, but you know I did get the dog,

but my mother. But it's really an emotional support dog, like to the court, Like when people say that, like I realized that last night was real, Like it's she's really an emotional support dog. Like I was having an anxiety attack, it was getting really bad. The dog fucking called me down. I was like, I am a white woman. And when I realized that, I said, let me look up service dog because Delta now charges for emotional support animals.

What's wrong, mama? So basically, a service dog is free on all flights, and the dog can be a service dog as long as you register it and the trainer doesn't need a certain amount of hours. I just put myself as the trainer and when I go onto Delta one turn my flight to l A and they're like, that's a service do me? Like, bitch, read the paper? How thank you? Have you spoken to her during your tough times? Yeah? You talk to your dog? Yeah? What the fund is wrong with us. I mean, you don't

talk to your cat with Mandy. You gotta be like, Body, get the funk out of here. Bro. Yeah, I'll be talking to him like a little bit. I mean, because he could getting on my motherfucking nerves. That's what a guy. So Also, I'm needy, but he's needier. So like, if I just want to watch TV, that's how I relax. I watched guys, grocery games, chops, guys. Literally I don't know why. Yes, that is how I relaxed. Watched I watched those type of shows. And Body just demands so

much attention. So if I'm not paying him attention, he goes around the house and just starts knocking shut off the tables, the bar, the whatever. And he just knocks it until I just be like Body, and then he wants me to chase him. I saw him on your laptop. He what I'm doing work? He comes and sits right on the line. Did he break your TV? You said he broke my TV, and I moved in. When when my ex spends the night, he'll wait, but he don't spend the night anymore. But he did, but he don't.

He'll Body will wake up because Bodie normally wakes up with me. No, he'll go prop his ass on my nigga and stare at him. Now, I will tell you something about this. This is no no. This means that the home the parent in the home. Yes, it ues what it means. So basically, so my mom was my primary parents. And this is why Nina doesn't room for me. This is why he gets yelled at. She gets smacked. I want smack body. This is why I mean, she don't get smack smack because she's a baby. But this

is why she's create trained. But cats are different. You'll smack a cat. Guess what he gonna do. Smack your as the fun back. That's what body be doing. Body will hit me the fun back. And now we're fighting. Now I'm literally like word nigga work before. Oh yeah, that's why I looks like I'm a cup. You know what, Let's take it. Let's take a cut. This is what color Nina is. She's black. What colors? Body bodies orange? The body is orange? Yeah, you played out huh. Anyway,

so basically she's mad at me. She was like, bitch, I wanted to play. How do you know she's mad at you because she won't lay on me when she's mad at me. That's why she's in between my legs. Anyway, speaking of emotional support, So I my pussy is broken. I've been super depressed. Why is it broken? I just don't know. I think I just can't, like I'm just not horny. Oh um. And it's very difficult when you're depressed, and then people like, I'm very I can hup function

at high levels while depressed. I can make jokes, I can do my job, and then I just have breakdowns at night. But for second, like I get it, Like the jokes help you push through. Man. So anyway, I knew and I knew it was time for like the dog or even my mom dog. So this was my plan. I was like, I'm gonna get the dog for my mom. And if I can't handle the dog and like it's just too much, and then it will definitely be for my mom. But now I'm gonna have to get a

new dog because this is all these child um. But a lot of things just were like leading up to it. So, for one, what makes me angry about when you're depressed? Things to not say to a depressed person, But I don't understand your life is so great that, to me is a very fucked up thing to say to someone because you have no I too, someone told me not to complain because I have money and that I could do what I want to get out of it. What, Oh yeah, but you got money, so just go to

the fucking spot like you're gonna be fine. Do you know many people are depressed that can't do that, Like, yes, I'm I'm I completely understand that, Like I have means to do things to make me feel better, but nick of that ship don't make you feel better. First off, I didn't even notice this steps of depression that we're happening. But when I found out I had to live in l A for some time out of the month, right every month, like a week, I'm like, Okay, no big deal.

I'll have a crib there. It'll be nice, like fine, And then I was like, oh my god, like I'm I have clothes that I have to have there, and then clothes I have to have here after, Like I can't really plan for things ahead. I vacation so much, nigga. I moved to Mexico last year. I haven't been on one vacation because I feel like I have to like really be at everyone's back and call, whether that be my my studio, whether that be Horrible, whether it be Kenya.

It's like everything in my life, I feel like I can't do it. So that sucked me up. And then also like the loneliness of having to travel so much, especially when you're not traveling for leader, when you're traveling for work in your loan, it's a different thing. Like I almost started talking to myself that it was like getting manic. I was just sitting in a hotel while I was like between moving, I was like, what are

we gonna eat today? What should I eat today? And it was like some only child shoop you said that you We actually talked about that on Patreon because I think he wrote about it. But not only do you plan everything you say? You talk to yourself, yeah, but not like this. It was like it was crazy you were questioning it. What are you doing? Like are you really true or not? I'm not trying. I was like oh, And I was like, okay, this is a little bickle cuckoo.

Then another thing that I started realizing was happening was like, for one, I was super dependent on physical touch from like anybody, Um, not anybody, I guess I'll take that back from obviously like a lover. But it was like really bad, like if the nigga turned in his sleep. I was like, oh my god, he hates me. And I know we all make jokes about that, but like my brain would do it for maybe two hours that

that night, and I just couldn't understand. Then when I came home, m Um, this is and we he's been a guest on the show. I won't say his name because I don't know how vocal he's been about this, but I knew the depression was sinking in when I didn't want to wake up, and the showering felt like

the longest thing in the world to do. And I'm not sure to be funny about because I know Coco tripping, but no, no, like you ain't been showering, but like it was just like, can not believe that's the Vanilla ship, but anyway, we'll get there. The showering, not even kidding, was like because I knew I had to change the clothes and get and move, and I was like, and when you are depressed and you can't get up, oh

my god, no, I have to figure out. But this one was like it was just like everything was a lot of work. The dog, believe it or not, is now like routine for me. I gotta get up because I gotta feed somebody else, you know what I mean. Then another thing that pissed me off when I talked out how I wanted to get a dog. Oh, everyone told me how I was too busy, didn't have time for the dog, and I needed to just do whatever

I was doing. First of all, the dog born to Oh no, man, no man, Just wait till the followers get involved. Bitch, I'm on a trip. I get ten d MS easily. So who's watching Bodie? So who's feeding Bodie? So did you bring body? I know how to take care of a fucking animal? That I think everyone thinks that we have our life, maybe because we don't have kids and we live this carefree everything's about me life. People do that when I travel, they make me feel

bad that I left Bodie. Nigga's do that. So just wait. So you start just being out in the club and looking like you're having a good something, They're gonna ask you who's watching me? They? Oh, yeah, girl, girl. They act like we just don't know how to do nothing but literally dick and open our legs and at any given point that we're doing anything else to just enjoy ourselves. What about your responsibility? First, I take the dog to Lucien. Everybody knows I loves to eat to Lucy, and that's

all I talk about. I take the talk to Lucien to go eat, take a picture. She's too young to be outside? Then wait, bitch, then she is young, but could they could be outside? She just can't be on the grass or things like that, as if I would ever, as if there's grass in New York. Just the co cream Giant couldn't have got you have dog and no funking look at anyone, look at this day? Please? So whatever? Um So. Then I went out one night, and you know, I don't drink a lot, I know, but like I said,

I've been depressed. And I went out and Brianda and I went to go get some meat and we were talking about work and whatever. And then I realized how good I felt the second I had to drink. And I'm not that type of person at all, Like I like to drinks, have fun. This was the first time where I don't drink when you're depressed. When I felt like, oh, I'm fine when the one drink one of my system and I was like, oh bitch, this is bad if you feel good like this. Yeah, So I didn't get drunk.

Literally was like, oh, like I'm too far gone. So I just really wanted to not have to answer to people. So I deleted my Instagram for a bit in my Twitter, and that felt really good because I will tell you, with someone. The liberating thing about it you realize nobody has access to you, and that ship feels so liberating. Oh my god. Like the fact that people have to

text me to like check on me. Oh, it's like that actually felt better, like I had to like I'm strengthening existing relationships again, like um shout out to Rashida Hung Grandma was like checking on you, you know what's um, And then we started talking and now I have a trip to go see her and we're gonna go hiking. Like that would not have happened if we didn't have to actually speak, because we just know that on social

media everybody's okay because if they're fucking highlight real. Sharona has text me like all my friends, um and anyway, it felt great to know that. And I'm not gonna say it was just like quote unquote cry for help thing, because it wasn't. I just wanted to delete everything. After that one drink, I gave rihon to the dog. Okay, mad at me now of the world, please fucking left

to Mexico. I stated, I can't believe I went to Cancoon like a fucking spramebreaker, but it was just the quickest thing I could do and hot, and I stayed at the Ritz shout out to one of our followers who got me the wild discount Nigga for four fucking days. I barely left this resort. I spent one day crying real bad, and then the other day missing the dog real dead. Then then then the third day and I didn't drink. I was just chilling, but like I really needed to go,

and Nigga took a whole fucking call. Keny has got a call every week we do. I was on that damn zon with ocean in the back, like yeah, and we bought a writer's scheduled and we've got this, Like it's crazy how I was like working through it. But now what I've really learned is one. There's the way that people can reach you, like that social media ship. I didn't realize how funked up it had me. It's not like I lie, but I'm not going to go in there and be like, oh my god, today sucks

so much. I want to take an ambien. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna make everyone else feel bad. I'm going to post the dog and smile because that's what we do. So it's not like you're fronting more than you. Almost can't do that to other people. And because I knew I was that bad, I was like, oh, I'm just gonna remove my complete self away from it. I did not. I'm so glad we didn't do Patreon this week for horrible decisions, because I was like, oh, things won't have me on as soon as I watch.

I was that bad. Now I'm better, but I just can't get horny, which is really crazy. So I forced myself to master being on vacation, and that way you forced yourself to master me. Yeah, what I said an alarm and I was like, I'm a very sexual person. Not clearly, yeah, I mean if you look at the mug on the table, so anyway, I like basically set this alarm. I was just sleeping all day. I didn't

want to get up. And when I tell you, this ship was gorgeous and andy, like, oh my god, they gave me this ocean front view balcony and all this ship like fucking old Bays sent me roses, tell me he wants me to feel good. It was just gorgeous over the top. And I don't know if anyone stayed at like a ritz, but the Rits is so old school rich. They got the maids coming with a little crown in the head and ship it'd be like, damn, this lady felt bad. But I just could not get

out of bed. So I kept setting alarms to masturbate, and I was like, I'm not going to stop hearing now went until I masturbate. Once I did it, oh my god, so much anxiety like went away. I felt so much better. It's like I actually had to remind myself to do it. And although I'm not horny right now, it'll come back to me one day. It was crazy that coming completely cleared me of like it's a temporary

um it it's very temporary. If you're in a in a depressed state and you do anything sexual, it's that jolts of oh that was good. But then dorphins are good and it's a stress reliever. But I started looking it up. It turns out because I was like, oh,

like this actually helped me through the day. And it turns out people can masturbate NonStop when they're depressed because it's the only way they'll feel good, much like drinking had a hotline and everything, like, people are like NonStop masturbaders. Which not saying that I did do it in an airplane, but I was in a happy mood. But I feel like if you do it on the way to Starbucks and on the way it's a loom and you masturbate, and and on the set of fuse and it here

no no yet, that's what she says. I haven't it. I wouldn't know a blame you, right, fuck So, speaking of dirty places and the showering thing, if anyone has been looking at the Internet lately, um which, by the way, boy have I missed? Oh my god, nigg Vinnie has been trying to keep me up to date, Like, holy shit, I wanted Twitter so bad. When Joscelyn's Cabaret came on, I'm not gonna lie. I told you it's awful, you

know barbies in New York. Oh, And I almost wanted her to come on here and tell us why she said, because I watched a live when she goes, you know, and everybody is just so mad at me. And I swear to god, she did it just like this because I said the N word. Why did you just air quote a bit? And I just wanted to say my piece, Oh it's I pulled it up. She would have left, We would have we would have like dragged her for

filth on the show. But I actually good she would have been here content, but she would have She probably would have left in ten minutes. Oh yeah, one, that's why you're trying to pay my Niki now, bitch. And I bet you she's still saying it anyway. Um. I wanted Twitter for that. I felt like I missed a lot. Also, so many just been sending me, which has been lovely. And one of the things I saw was that Coco said she doesn't take showers um every day, which wait,

so you only saw that one person? No, no, no, I was gonna I got a list when I heard her say because she was the video I saw when I heard her say, and I quote, I mean, if I'm feeling icky, like, I'll wash under my arms or a washing area. Bitch, go in the shop. Ain't you rich? I know you've got multiple bathrooms, bitch, Nick, Let me tell you something that motherfucker pet Cole told me. They said, I said, what, what would be the most gentle shampoo

for the dog? They said, well, she's too young. You don't want to bathe until she's about three months. I said, well she's two months. So you think I'm gonna have an animal in my home that won't be bathed for a month. She was like, yeah, you could use pet wipes. Oh hell no, bitch, yea a month. The dogs aren't the same as dogs. And if there's if it's a house dog, they clean themselves out of here. Well they're not people. Well, Nina has already had two baths. She

has a very natural lavender. You know I want some one of them? The hole listing bitch like okay, so did I said? Listen? They tell them we don't watch the dog. They were like, oh please anyway, Hell no this anti ship, no, this is not no no, no, no no no. So here we go celebrities that have been making a big stink on the internet. We've got Jake

Glennon Hall. You know, Jake Jilla. Not only am I distracked because he is one of the only pink dicks I would have given time, but this is also why, Bro, five years in, I told you all this wall with the whites. Bro, the crackers out here not even washing themselves. Bro, And you think I'm supposed to put my mouth near their balls, near their translucent penis. No, Andrew Chelton watch

his laves, but we knew that one. He looks like white love you friend, let you look like And I just want to say I was looking at her an eye conscious wedding and this is just how like you know when you have a d D. We're talking about something with interior design. I was looking at her and I was like, she is so sweet and pretty and clean. How does she deal with his bullshit? Because I know you shower girl, So you're telling me you're just sitting

up with this motherfucker. You know dogs, No, ild you. It's the same way when bitches break up with a nigga and maybe like and you a dirty nigga anyway, I'm sorry, ma'am. You're just as dirty because you're licking them dirty balls. You're sleeping with that dirty niggas and Taste the best read episode ever in life, if I could fucking know the number. The best fucking episode of a podcast I've ever heard in my life was Smelling Taste by the read iconic fucking episode. Please, I don't

know who don't know this episode? Oh do you know what I'm talking about? What episode? Oh my god, man, if you didn't know what I said, Smelling Taste, Fury and Cristal read this thing with this girl talks about how this nigga's dick smells. Yes, yes, that's that's what I was actually throwing him in a bath like a hound, but yuck. But also she said, it's smells and taste, same thing. I feel like we've talked about that before.

Like if you go down on somebody and you're complaining about the smell and the taste, but you still go through with the act, you a dirty bitch. To smash you dirty, you was just a dirty bro Like if that nigga got the skid marks in his drawls and you're still eating that ass, you nest he sadn't hear what Mandy's man Jake Jillenhall's head. More and more I

find bathing to be less necessary. His aromatic admission came virtually as he was asked about his experiences in NYC as a watertown, all tied to his appearance in product ad for a new fragrance um and he said he just didn't think that every day was necessary. You ain't got to look up Jason Mamala. There's a reason why. Oh, because, oh, I ain't gonna hold you that I was gonna see Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift that Ellen Uh. She revealed on Ellen that she doesn't wash her legs in the shower.

But let me tell you what kills me about that. I use um a lutha, but when I use a rag, and I wiped my legs, especially in im wearing shorts. Sometimes I see dirt, like when I'm in the stret maybe this is a New York thing. But when you're industry like I'll see I mean, like, oh my god, how New York is filthy? You have to wash every part of your body definitely has touched Listen, this one

killed me. Kristen Bell Dak Shepherd have probably come forward to unshowered praise, as pioneered by baby Wipes legend Brad Pitt, Brad Pit thenn girl ashly cut your me look cutness, coolness, Oh he brought up, Yes it is, it's I bet you it's you know what these hardass names. We want to look this up anyway, Jason Momo was it? He showers everyday because he's mama. That's why Jason Mammoma can get all of my holes raw. That's a very weird

range of Look how fine he is. And Jason Momoa is like like Pacific islander or some ship European, European. He's a cola European. What is he that is that is not a white man? As this is go, yeah, let's see what he is from Hawaiian, German, Irish native. He's a whole He's Hawaiian. That mean he Americans. You said European. I think it was European. No, it's not

Mila but rather Nila. Yeah coolness at you said she didn't added the whole goddamn hype apostrophe, you know the little other languages that bed Yeah, the thanks, I swear some lights takes anyway, funck y'all? Okay? So I get into I don't a call with my mom. I was like, you see all these white people who ain't showering, And she was like, you know when you were a baby, because I have really bad ex and me. She was like, they used to tell me, don't shower you too often

because it dries your skin out. I said, no, the correct way is to blot it. When someone has dry skin, you block. You don't be too super harsh and no like super hot water. Bit you're about to tell me like you just not bathing. These mothers like no, but I'm not okay with it. And this is why I told you I ain't never with no white man because they don't be clean. Bro Cameron Diaz said. Also, she hasn't used deoda in for twenty years. I feel bad. You just trim your armpit and hair so it doesn't

hold onto your scent. So what is our body's way of detoxifying? We do need to sweat. Body odor is a good indication that it's time to hit the shower, and when you smell, it's time to take that shower. So bitches not take a showers until they smell that's me. That's wild to meames to like. And I know this because some people I don't know. I feel like you can't smell yourself. This one's sick a lot of people, you know. Julia Roberts says, um, she likes to save water,

she's really green. She likes the smell of her natural orioles. She also says that she can't wash her hair too often because it's dry. That's true, but the hair thing. But girl, I put my braids up in the mother button and I still wash my braids once a week. That's why they shout out to Shay. She'd be over here every damn week doing my hair and she'd just be like, girl, I see no other client, wan you because I love to wash the fucking I don't understand

these crackers. I'll tell you that anyway. I don't understand them rits. I cannot. And to all of our twenty seven white listeners, we might have made it to thirty two by now, but you know what, you know what, But actually a lot of them they really like with black guys. There's no way they're just not taking showers like black guys, be looking at what, like what's in your showers, married to a whole nigger. That's what I'm on that mother Internet and said, okay, never mind, I'm lying.

I'm lying. The only thing I will say. I did feel bad that people were judging her about you know, breastfeeding and age, and you know, I don't know. I was about to say, I don't have a child, never breast that, So I can't. Oh, somebody breastfeeding their child till they twelve, you know, shout out to um. I almost said me could. I was thinking about Goodman Eric and I don't send me a lot, but I mean it is what I have been thinking about it. Um.

We'll have them on an episode soon. But like, you know, people were criticals or her breastfeeding her kid and taking a picture of them like together and just sharing that moment. And it's like, you can't do ship if I post me loving my kid. I love him too much. One of my friends told me, who has a one and a half year old whose baby father? Shout out because you listening, bitch, because I know you do. Her baby

father's family is Jhoe witness. She said. They said that she was dressing the one year old too sexy because the one year old had a shirt with ruffles on, and it's like when I tell you she has her daughter looking adorable and cute and appropriate. Ruffles is how do I describe it? Was off the shoulder, little ruffles. I don't even know how to say this. I'm just it's like that, I'm just in shock that people just take things there. Um. But you know, with the breastfeeding

and the age thing, I don't know. I don't have anything to say about it. But her not showering, I do because I know San'm watching kids either not. What's the longest you've been without a shower? Probably to two days? COVID I would I'm about to say COVID. COVID was definitely too. Yeah, but like New York especially anywhere, because it's you're freezing when I travel. When I travel, especially like when I was just in Mexico, or when I do anything to two or three showers a day, like

especially if I'm changing outfits. I have like a routine that I'm going out. I shower before I go out too. The only way I don't shower when I get back in the house is if I'm drunk as fuck, and then it's it just sucks. Because I got aplane. I gotta watch my pillow cases because now there's a makeup everywhere. I don't like when people like fly in and don't shower before they get in my bed. I think that's nasty,

especially the l a flight sitting on the couch. Get your ass in anyway, Okay, let's get to the horrible decision, which is broken. It's basically sexing out if sad. So I remember, like years ago you were talking about how Lawyer Bay was depressed and it was really wearing on you. And you know, I haven't really been talking to anyone because I feel like if you talk to someone that you fuck, can you tell him how to press you are? That's weird for them. Like I just have chose to

shut him out. Oh, I told you earlier this year, like I was probably in the most depressed day I had ever been in my life for like maybe the first five six months of this year, Like I changed my number and at the time with my partner, it was like I didn't realize how just much depression was like seeping out into where he was Like listen, I feel like I can't even make you happy, and if I can't make you happy. Then maybe this isn't what you know, Maybe we ran our course like it was awful.

Like my friend, you know, my best friend had cancer. My mom I thought she was gonna die of COVID. Just everything going a move and maybe even that's what it is with you having to live in two places. I didn't realize how much moving from one apartment to the next brings on depression because you're out of your comfort you and I started from my apartment. That's what I'm saying. Don't get me wrong. The new crew was lit.

But like she's dreaming. Um, yeah, the move is a weird thing, right because now I have to basically make another place at home. Which here's the weird thing too. When I was traveling into l A. At first, it was like a week a month at a hotel. You think it's cool, it's not really cool. There's only so much fucking takeout you can eat before you don't want to wake up and at least make your own coffee

or something like. It's weird. But I mean, I got a nice as the house as I could, And you know, did I did what I don't have in New York. I did Florida ceiling windows I did during man because I love my Lower East. That ship, like I did the cool and Jim and I did the whole thing. But even then, I'm like, i still want to be back in New York and I'm not really a l A fan like that on top of the fact that no, I love New York. Yeah, I just I'm always have

to be there, so I have to choose to enjoy it. Um, And then like you gotta make a whole new set of friends, you know what I mean, Like that ship is a lot of work of work. I got two three friends in l A. And I think my closest friend in l A is probably Van. And even then he'd be like, Nik, i am not leaving the house, and I'd be like begging him to go for a workout and he'd be like, yeah, we're gonna work out,

and then like now, but it's hard to do that. So, um, you know, I don't want to put it on other people or people that I'm dating. Um, but here are some tips if you are dating someone then is feeling sad. One, don't take it personally. If your partner had a broken leg and didn't want to go out dancing, it wouldn't hurt your feelings. And depression is like that too. While

it really take somebody down. It may look like people are simply turning down time with you or sex with you, when the truth is they just literally can't do it. Do understand what depression feels like. It's like an energy sucking flu Okay. It says that they literally can include exhaustion, brain frog dysfunction, dysfunction, increased sensitivity to pain, and overwhelming

feelings of guilt and shame. It feels almost like a wait, like and I'll tell you the way that people try to like tell me that I can just get out of this, like oh my gotta be fine. It's so annoying right like this. This is why I don't want to be on Instagram right now or do anything else because I just want to be sad. And I want you to shut the funk up and stop trying to tell me everything's gonna be okay. I know I'll be okay. I don't want you to tell me to get over it,

like when you're dismissive about it. It's really difficult and you kind of just let got to let people go through their ship. Also a great one he says, don't try to fix it. A point that keeps coming up in research was the hurt and frustration people feel when other people are trying to fix the depression. A woman says that her husband I was depressed and she grew up thinking you couldn't just stop, you could just stop feeling sad. And she thought she was helping with her

upbeat encouragements, but it was awful. Also, do know your spoons and rings? This one was cool for a secretary? Damn? Do you want your do you want your pump? I know You're pump is here somewhere there it is? Is this even an active pump? Does this work? Yeah? Okay, I'm not give me one second before you start back up smoking this morning. Man. You can do me a favor, just like look at her, just so I could cut to that perfect one second. Uh, that's fine, It's just

it just makes it a smoother cut. Black black black. Do you know your spoons and rings? So spoon theory you use a set of spoons to represent the limited physical, mental, and emotional resources that someone's suffering from depression may have. Some days, taking a shower could use several spoons. It's basically a language to help you relate to your partner. Teaching my wife about spoons helped her understand that I wasn't trying to avoid doing stuff. I was actually tapped out.

Ring theory. Draw series of circles with your partner, um con concentric concentric that's a weird word anyway, um. And at the center, the nearest circle to them holds you and perhaps their family, and then the next one is

so on. So the ring is simple. You provide support to people in a ring smaller than you, and you only complain to people in bigger rings than you, which I actually really like because for example, if you've got kids or like you know how, you have a bad boss and they're like yelling at you about like every little thing, Like you can't be putting that ship on me, this is yo ship, like filter it through. That's a

really bad manager. When a manager is like telling you, I don't know what having a bad boss feels, like, oh, bro, it's fucked up. Because like, even that got me a little bit depressed. Recently. I was maybe venting like a month or two ago to edit or Dave, and I was like, I don't know what to do. What are we supposed to do? I don't understand what we're supposed to do. Who's supposed to figure this out? Are we

supposed to do this? This? That? And it's like, oh my god, Like am I a bad fucking boss, because like I don't know how to do ship, Like there's no fucking hr here. I've only worked for major companies. I don't know what then to do, and like that ship is a lot of pressure too, when you want to make sure people are happy. I have no idea. No one's really called out of work ever here. This is fucking insane. I call out of work so much. I'm no wonder they were tired of me, Like I

was just like I'm not coming. But also there's hundreds of people that work in the company, Like can you imagine like being depressed and having to come to work. Yes, I mean when I was like when I was like counting, I would be like, so it's not a smoke break, I'm going downstairs to cry. I'll be back, and I would literally leave out the office for a breather. Like Accounting was probably especially the Big Four, like was probably the most depressing job I had. I mean everything else,

you know it was different in New York. That fucking when you go into work and it's dark and you leave the dark dash. It was so for no one that knows the funk we're talking about, which people in l A love to tell me when I tell them it sucks. But the weather, bitches still sucks. You can't get good food here. You gotta fucking drive everywhere. The people are weird. It sucks. Not that some good food in in l A. Tacos and katana. That's it, Mandy. One hard person tells me to get Mexican food in

l A. I'm gonna blow my brains out. Rosco's get the Obama anyway. It's literally just chicken and they don't even tip it. Okay, So Ship, where are we at? Depressed? Depressed for people who don't live in New York. The sun comes up around in the wintertime. What is it after? Yeah, eight o'clock and then it goes down at four. Me shout out to Chris. If anyone really followed me for a minute, my word, husband, remember him? Very sweet guy. Ship. He's the reason I even asked me Andy to do

a podcast. I was on his podcast first. I'll never forget this moment where we were so sad at the office and he's a happy guy. And we walked outside and there is this patch of sun on the corner and you had to go in the middle of the medium because you know, the buildings block the sun. And we sat there in this fucking ship and I remember thinking, oh my god, this is depressing. I'm in the media in the middle of the road because it's the only place the sunlit and we gotta look up at it.

Oh niked, Oh my god, if Delta fucking really hits us this year, all of the billionaires need to get together and fly us to Epstein's Island and give us reparations. No, no, they should just give us son. Apparently they are here making rain, like they are here creating the weather, like I ain't gonna hold you. I feel like, all right, this is me getting it clearly. I've been watching like a lot of like, so let me tell you what they really be doing, right, And I feel like they're

doing this now. They want us to be in the house with this COVID ship right so, like, by the way, if you think I'm crazy, look it up there literally doing it right now. In Dubai, the government is they are creating rain to cool down because it's been so fucking hot out there. So guess what New York they knew he was about to be outside right Listen, this week there was only supposed to be rain on Saturday.

There has literally been storms in the afternoon and at night, telling bitches to get your asses back in the house. And I think the government made the rain come down because out of nowhere, bitch, it's ninety seven. It's been hot as fun this week. Next thing you know, it's like Paul thunder boom, lightning, and then a whole bunch of motherfucking rain. And now you're like, you know what, Damn, I wasn't even ready for this. I ain't even got

an numbrella. Let me take my motherfucking ass home. What was that news lady that say, come wow. What I'm saying is the government bro, if you ask him for sun, bro, the billionaires can just make us some old sunlight. If they're making rain, they probably be making snow too. They can make us some more fucking light. So I want to give a shout out to my friend who I almost went to see in Mexico, but I was too depressed. His name is Tyson Love Tyson. His name is alt.

I think can give us some son Tyson when he comes to New York. But like he's not probably not gonna get on the plane because I'll have to wear a mask. But he is very, very very smart. But when I was living in Mexico, first of all, we only met because he was the only other black person at the party and old Baby was like, oh shoot, that nigga, and he had a British accent. He was like, it's it, it's lit. And we became great friends with him.

I used to say he was crazy. And last week he sent me that article and he goes, you remember when you were laughing at me about them making rain, So basically you're talking about the Dubai article, right, Yeah. He told me all last year that we were into loom because it would rain on one side of the street. He was like, oh, you know, like this isn't real rain, like blah blah blah blah, and my je vision. I'm

already highs buck enjoining them. I'm like, nigga, shut like we're gonna jungle, shut the funk up, But I'm not gonna front. He was starting to scare me. Now, he wasn't one of them. They're gonna put it chipping you people. I mean, he's clearly an anti masker. Well here he I think he wears it to the grocery stores he has to and stuff. But he was talking about like the toxins go back in your body. He's like Vegan. He went on a water dive for a hundred days,

like he's one of those people. But basically he was talking about the generating machines of like weather and is real. Bro. The one reason I think he's very interesting is because he believes in God. And you know, people to get like super fucking crazy about ship Whenever he talks about God, I'd be like, but nigga, don't you think that rain ain't real? So how's this going on? But he believes in God because you know, it's either science or religion, right,

I don't believe in either. Okay, Mandy, will you do it? I don't. Clearly they are here creating rain, bitch with blueprints. Not sorry, I know you'd feel, but not like because they had to make rain. Here's the thing, you don't you know? You know, I don't believe neither of them ships and I'll break it down for you right now, because people be lying, and both of them things really

come from people. People tell you what's SciTE, and people tell you about this story that they wrote in the Bible and it's been changed because it's like a telephone game. Any motherfucker way, it's it's a lie. And they definitely had the weather machines with Jesus. It's it's from people and people be lying. You can't trust them. And so science is really the government and religion is because they got to tell you to believe some ship otherwise. Now

we are like, well, what we're here for you? We're gonna start being depressed and has been sad. Someone did save me a clip of Mandy saying, what is this your co host? What I do? What I say? Oh about the dome being in the earth, So the Earth is really a dome too. It's not really flat, but we're in a dome that you're not flat earth. You know it's not flat Earth. But talking like this, Mancy is vaccinated and here we go, bitch, I ain't gonna hold you. If I become a zombie. I wanted to

go out run them niggas. Anyways, I was gonna become a company. So y'all scared about this. Goddamn beck I got it because guess what. In New York, we just became able to eat inside. And I looked at all of my friends and I said, listen, I realized how much I like to eat in restaurants. Bitch, I don't like when he gets to my house. It's different. This is the you know, like I gets here. I only got the shot because they say, b K, come into

restaurants and we're playing a tour. Okay. I wanted to be able to go on tour, hold on to be fair. When I didn't do that, me and Grey in d C, I was so fucking sick. I had five COVID tests, all negative. But I was like, oh wow, like you really touched some people. It's like, really puts your risk. But I just want to say. When I saw the Cuomo thing or was it Cuomo or Blasi or whatever Blasio, I said, oh, bitch, he scared me. When the day I'm gonna get say, they're gonna get back. Why would

they get back just so they can eat? What's the problem, because here's the thing, we're okay. Yeah, yeah, she was like, oh, you think I'm gonna have catch steak in a box? I don't. I don't like y'all are being really judging. At the end of the day, Judge me, bitch, I got it, did you know? So I'm saving lives and I'm saving Give me a moment? What give you a moment? Year? I really want the Johnson and Johnson and one shot. And let me tell you. Donnelle Rollins said this joke.

I took my mom to go see my Mother's Day love Donnelle, and he goes, you know, this is how black people talk to you when you know you're telling me vaccinated. Oh yeah, I got this, Like you know, I got it. And they'd be like, oh that's good. Which one you get? And I was like, Yo, it's so fucking true. You know. They don't even none of my white friends say anything like that. Everybody I know that's black. It's just like, you know what you can't get? Yes, I do, But I feel like it was just six

of them they got blood. God, oh my god, only six. And to be fair, I heard any people got pregnant, but you ready from a pull out a lot? Who knows? But I haven't yet. Maybe I don't get you really want to play with odds here I mean, but but here's the thing kind of cold. That'd be lying too, because apparel of the CDC only got a report like a certain number, so it's probably really like ten times that. Again. See you can't trust people. You still got it, he said,

what you still got the vaccine. I didn't get the Johnson and Johnson. First off, they didn't even offer it. Did offer you the fires armed Maderna. I don't want you get to choose. So I got the Maderna and I ain't gonna hold you a bitch arm. Oh god, oh my god. And then I had sex the next day, but like the person I had sex with ain't really for the vaccine. So my arm was hurt and so bad. I just had some mall to make it seem like he was hurting my couchie, but he was. My arm

hurts so bad. But I didn't want to like ruin the moment and be like, no, that's where I got my shot. I just had to be like, oh, oh you are. And I just tried to have to move the position because I couldn't in the middle of sex be like, oh, that's where I got my shot to a nigga who don't really want to really get the ship. Who told you that the Earth is a dome? No, I watched that on YouTube, the whole video, and it's

like flight times. There's pilots that are like yeah, man, and then you know we ain't even really go back to They talked about they can't get the coordinates of the moon. No more, bitch, there's coordinets where I walk right on my phone. You're telling me I can do more with the iPhone. Then, n that's the can to get us back to the moon. They'd be lying, harry it out of here, and I don't want I need you to tell us what the funk you're saying. Also, do you think the Earth is flat? No, it's a dome.

Like we walk on the flat part, but part is the dome. Like when you Mercedes were like, we're Kanye living right now. Do you know that's what it's like the Mercedes. Have you ever seen a picture like this is one thing? Though, here's the thing. You don't need a picture of what the picture of what the earth? So there's a video? No, those are that's actually photo shot? Say no, the clouds are the same. So the clouds are the same. It's always the same picture of the Earth.

It's not even the same. Yeah, but that's all photo shot. Now video about it, y'all. I want you lead. We are locked in a contract with the Black Effect Networking. I heart radio. It's even words. I feel like I'm strong. Romaine was here. He I've been watching him listen to people say crazy shuttle back and let me'd be like, he really gets it. No, I'm gonna see you all these YouTube videos show me just type in earth. Don't really quick at him. Please, for the love of God

and science. Look see look how that's what the That's really what the Earth looked like. Do you think the Earth looks like this? Bitch? Are you out of your fucking mind? You think the Earth looks like this? People like the snow globe this is you think the Earth looks like this? You know what, y'all let me know what the Earth looked like when y'all motherfucker's go out until y'all go and visit out of space. I ain't listening to the action. They got the sun in the

glass like this, the goddamn Trovish. You know it's crazy. I actually used to want to be an astronaut. You want, yeah, but then you know I'm from Orlando. So so I actually watched the well I fail'm from Orlando, because that used to be a thing we used to fill the sonic booms. We could see the spaceship go up in the air because Kennedy's space and right there, and I was like, oh, mommy, I want to be an astronaut. And then we watched one spaceship go up and bit

you just blew up. I didn't see that. I actually it was in like ninety seven And this is when used to always watch them. Literally for Christmas, my mom used to buy me astronaut food because I was gonna be at astronaut falls. Like let me get used to this ship, that baby I want. For the record, anyone who's listening to us from our land or like that doesn't live in or Lando. This is a real thing,

the real thing. Even though it was that you could hear it, you can see it like you do it at school, like this is the ship we did, like we all knew NASA schedule when spaceships and testers and all. This ship was going up and goddamn space and so yeah, I watched the ship blow up. I said, oh no, bro, I ain't gonna be no astronaut normal. I'm gonna be a finger. Why nothing? What you gotta make? You know? And we on tour, but you know my great podcast

for you. And I'm only say this because now it's literally my job to get on the song that my boss is like this is it. Will call me one day and be like, we're gonna do Beyonce and we what's beyond this podcast? Gonna be like that's how his brain work. He just wants the biggest invest Mandy needs a podcast where she debunks science. I could do it. You're welcome, I could do it. I want ten percent film it in the studio for free. I want the

ad revenue just ten percent. Like it's not all. I gotta bring other conspiracy theorists on so that we can have really intellectual conversation. Many you can't quit. People are gonna get really mad at you, the way that you two really look at me when I really be talking. We gotta get Anti Vaxter to come on and figure out how to take it out of Andy's arm. The medal. Remember that guy that like used to it was called butterfly something and it was like blood play. It was Orlando. Okay,

you do like blood play. No, I don't on your period. Don't do this anyway. We we we have to go. This is ridiculous. Every time we do a solo episode, it gets all over the place because you did the outline and you don't want to stick to your outline. We don't get two segments today. She went from just to catch up a horrible decision. I could do whatever I want. I just had McDonald at ten am, thank you.

I looked at you eat that burger, be scared of the guy vaccine, but you just ain't a McDonald's burger bitch. That's nastiest. But and I just looked gonna get the Johnson and Johnson, So I'm not that scared. Okay, clearly anyway, Guys check us out on Patreon dot com back slash Horrible Decisions. If you search us, it doesn't come up because I think we're sluts, and they are. It's an eighteen. It's an eighteen plus not for made. You're a black

slut on Patreon, you're really not gonna come up. Yeah, So it's Patreon dot com back slash Horrible Decisions. Also, stay tuned follow us on social media. Weey will be back soon, but if not, follow us on our Instagram at Horrible underscore Decisions. Keep up because we got dolls coming. So, by the way, um mel Weezy can't agree to ship, and we didn't want to compete with each other because we were like, I bet you I'm a sell more

than you. Now I'm a sell more than you, and we just thought it would just add us to spending more money on counseling. So now you can get us together and you know what you just put you like this, bitch picked the company and that's why her side looks better than mine. My braids look like curly Sue shut out to DJ Rose Gold. She set us up. But no, the problem is, bro, you don't like any of your animated anything. That's really the problem. We've gone through about

five different animators. Weally don't like ship, so we don't pay for animations that we just don't use. Is there anything that you like? Kind of emphasized that you don't like. Apparently she wanted to look real, so for that we may as well to take a picture of bitch. Goddamn, she's like, that doesn't look like me at all, bitch, it's a cartoon. Anyways, guys, we're leaving you off on the prime bonus. This has been yet another episode of Harbor,

the last one of the Icebreakers. If you got married tomorrow, would you be okay with any of your friends fucking any of your exes? I feel like I would when I'm into somebody and I'm like, I don't care, that's me too. And it's funny because the character in the show she gets married and finds out that her best friend is fucking the man that she was previously in love with. Now I'm not gonna hold you. At first,

I was like, bro, it's your ex da. But as the fucking movie get on and I find out this is a niggative she didn't had a miscarriage with and moved in with, I was like, Nah, that friend crossed the fucking line. Went way too far. Like, bro, they were about to have a family together. Well here that

was too much. But then we were talking about it, um because I watched it with any and I was like, oh, nigga because once we started realizing that, you know, she was pregnant, Da da da, And then they said, eight years went by, wasn't it the time frame? Eight years? Eight years? So, for example, the older I get, the more I realized people circle back, and I don't mean lovers, I mean friends. I go to a Little Sister a Lot.

It's a club underneath the mock scene, and as a dude that used to work and manage tow that I keep seeing there that runs the door, and I'm looking at him. I'm like, why do I know you? And I'm like, oh my god. Used to work in Orlando at fucking not Cairo. What was it called not Tier? What was the name of it? And your friend worked there and Danny owned it? What the fund was the name of that club? Baine? I was like wow. Then I was like, but I feel like I know you

from somewhere else. Used to suck my home girl. He was super cute. I was a Brionda that night, and I was like, hey, because he was feeling Brionda. Rihanna was looking at him him and I was like, huh, well, this just all came back around and wearing a whole another city, right, This person somehow back in my life and I see them every few weekends now if I'm eight years later in the game and realized I remember

a nigga because someone so used to fuck him. A matter of fact, there's a basketball player that I just saw that played for the Orlando Magic. His name is Kyle O'Quinn. Don't care to say his name because I don't know even know if you still play ball used to play here in New York. So a girl I used to live with fucked him and was sucking him.

And I only remembered him because when I was working with scissors back then, Scissors was like oh, we would come out and he would look and she would get pissed, like what the fun is he doing? Because he realized the lesbians are in the room I made fucking Biggie's and I'm like, why do I know this nigga? And he's looking at me like he knows me. I was like, Yo, I don't know how I know you, but I feel like I really know you. And we're looking at each other and he's like, did do you used to live

in Florida nigga? When I realized once he said that who he was, I couldn't even tell him who I was. I was like, oh my god, I'm the roommate of the girl who was getting like what but anyway, I was saying that I just didn't feel he was with people. I was like, I don't feel like reminding. Plus I don't know who he with this, you know. And then I'm just like, you used to fund my roommate, Remember I was lesbian. Oh my god. So but here's the thing.

What if I saw him out recircled, found out that, you know what I mean, Like, I don't know, I just feel like people surfaced back and eight years in the game, and you're you're happy with a white picket fence, two kids in a gorgeous husband like, and a bitch is still out here single in New York Like I could see it, right, he might feel away, but valid, valid, all right? So the Vanilla ship actually comes from Newsweek.

And what's crazy is the scene that Wheezy was referencing in the beginning of this episode has been oh sorry, has been one of the most wildly talked about scenes on a Netflix film because a dick is actually showed a full frontal and yes, it was a big size. So it's crazy speculation as to whether there was any editing done to the dick for that dick so uh.

Sex Life uh is Netflix latest sexually explicit drama that viewers are devouring around the world, But it is not a sex scene that has most people heading to Google to find out. An episode three of the popular Netflix series We are in the shower with Brad, who is played by Adam Demos, when the camera lingers on his gigantic penis in appendage that might even make Boogie Nights

Dirk Diggler for a little inadequate in the department. Search on the Netflix film has been dominated by this scene, with the majority of inquiries making the first question that jumps