Ep 215: Does Hoeing Healll? (Ft. We Talk Back)

are Black Effects. Okay, Like I ain't gonna front. When I saw the first little clip, y'all, I was like, oh, we don't heals. These bitches just be talking about stick. I really want to call and be like, I thought that we were your sex pot. What the fund is y'all show about? We talked back, listen, we thought we were the hose on Black Effect Network, and we listened to y'all show, and we realized because that's how it was. An episode was like, are we only holes on Black Effect?

And they may be ho hoes, but were like one whole you like Christmas? Wait, y'all only half and half? Yeah, together, we make one black person appearance, So okay, So wait, who's the bigger hole and who decided to make a whole podcast? So the podcast is well both of us for the most part. I don't know if we of us is the bigger house. She's I'm a conservative, like we could tell from definitely t D. Jake's daughter. You came in here like a holy ho wait taking a

card to get on y'all. I'm listening. I don't know your voice. Decision, Let's know your voices first, so let's associate the name with the boy. So I'm a J A J J engaged one and tam bam tama. Thank you ma'am out here. Okay, So yeah, tell talk to us about uh your whole ways. I mean, I don't know, like the shout out we talk back. Yeah, you mentioned that it was about femininity, but like in one way, we're not feminist, first of all because don't take care.

So why did you mention it in the description there being a feminist? I wrote it actually being empowered exactly because I'm not trying to replace men. I want men to be you know what, can we talk about that because we have had I proclaim all the time too that I am not a feminist. Pol though I do

believe in women empowerment. So you said, the reason that you're not a feminist is because you believe feminist hatement and you believe that they want to get a lot of the people who are on the forefront, you would get that from them, or they may be you know, lesbians, okay, kind of get that energy from the feminist or leslians. No, basically they are don't do that. Yeah, you know what. The feminists that we've had on the show, We've had some married feminists on the show. We've had married or

or heterosexual feminists. I wouldn't say that all of them want to get rid of men, and a lot of them actually were married. We had Uh. I think this is just the same rhetoric as like Black Lives matter, ship right. Some of us are dr umar, some of us peacefully protests. I'm in the middle and necessary, you know what I'm saying, Like I understand it all. Sometimes I'm outIn worship. Sometimes I'm like all right, chel like let's you know, have a white person come in the studio.

I don't know, really, I think that with feminism, the larger issue is like you know, when Trump got elected, we saw such radical feminism and that being like you know, showing your pussy hair and a protest and ship like that, which me all of that ship is still or whatever. But I think that we attached feminism with that because I really believe like the right wing people did that ship. I don't really believe that I've ever thought feminism was

that until Trump got elected or perpetuated that. I've never heard people want to not be a feminist until Trump. There's no reason you should say. I'm not wonder you you should say that either the end of the day, the definition for it is just believing in equal rights for women. Can we were able to pull the definition up of feminism? Can I get you? I just love equality, equality for quicker than you if feminism is the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of

the sexes. But I still want if I get on the train, I want a man to get up from But that's not your right. I don't it's not my right. So I think there's a difference with this. I like niggas paying for my ship too, right. I feel like at this point in my life, I'm not you know what I'm saying, So y'all niggas need to be doing it for me. And even when I was kind of like on some bumped and ship, y'all still should be doing it for me. That's why they're supposed to be

doing it. But like what that said, I think when you're a woman that expects those things, that's chivalry. That's us digging into femininity. Masculinity I think as nothing to do with feminism. And when people try to weaponize feminism by saying you can pay for your own ship, okay,

you can also not suck me. But I guess that's the thing because even when I'm reading there, if we do want them to pay for things, and we want them to do the things that we necessarily won't know for them, then I can see why you don't want to align with it, because we don't really want equality in the way that we really A lot of women I don't think want the equality about the actual definition

of feminists of being a feminist. But I'm talking about what's going on right now, the culture of being a feminist. It's different. I don't know if I do, maybe because

on our own now I'm not with that. I think it's because I also mean on the side of what y'all are all saying, Like, I am that girl too, But I'm definitely a feminist, definitely for a women, because I'm not one of those girls that say, oh I don't need female friends, but I love women I do rock with in my head though, Like right, feminism, you know what I'm saying, Like, feminism to me is knowing that, um, there's no discrimination against being a woman when I want

to get a certain role or when I'm handling business someone thinking I'm too weak to do it ship like that, which I don't think no feminism going on with the checko at all. Don't get me wrong. There's sometimes where I like the boss up and maybe grab it because that makes me feel a little masked. But like, I still don't think that has to do with it. But when you're talking about women having babies on their own science bitch. See we talked back be having hot takes

that I don't know what. I don't know if I liked because the girl we're gonna run down a yall, Okay, I ain't know what we were talking about. We're gonna make sure you'll read it durate all of your I spent a lot of time. I pulled up most of your podcast scriptionans and went through your clips and picked everything on like I not even that. I don't like ship, and I think it's for a great conversation. You're no, no, we can't because you guys are pretty and better have

tintoes down on your tape. Um. Oh. The reason I disagree with that is because when it comes to science and having babies and ship like that, I don't believe like men and women need to have a child together. I believe women could have kids on their own, just like I think gays could have kids if they want to. That's why I don't really believe in that. But go ahead, one because politics on our show, because I got a lot of different views in comparison, don't talk about politics

at all in comparison to each other. Yea, this is considered political, okay, Because I believe in the traditional family became don't need to be raised properly with a man and a woman. You know what is this? Because do you consider yourself a religious person. I'm very spiritual but not religious, Like I have religion, but I'm not religious, So you prep just don't want to get canceled canceled. Oh yeah, we don't. You don't want to get canceled. But I think that's not I'll be honest with you.

I think a lot of the things that we speak on here on horrible decisions. I mean, we we learned, we've over the last four years, we've said things that were not right and we we we've we've walked it back. But I think that I don't want have to walk back. But but sometimes learn that's why we've walked it back. But but I also think that there is um something

really genuine about you being your true self. And if there is something that you feel, whether it's political or not, there are going to be people that agree with you. And in this space podcasting, a lot of people now have podcasts. I think it's important to be yourself and not speak to feel like, oh my god, I don't want to offend somebody, because guarantee, your hot texts look a little offensive. If you ask me, they political, honestly, I mean that's what's y'all. Definitely, So to me, there

are two different types of women. Okay, so the sexually liberated. So there's are there are sluts in there? Paid Let's just give a finger pop in the back of the club somewhere for free. Holes get paid. So I'm not doing nothing. I'm not saying that. I've never just make these definitions up yourself. That's just what I think. What they do say like I believe, and you can pull this up if you want to, then I do believe.

Definition is horror goes back to prostitution, prostitutions associated with money. However, um, I mean it's whatever you want to be, right, prostitute? Yeah? What about how? Because how ain't really holes like that that let me to urban? How it's gonna give me a long hand who uses their looks and charms to manipulate their partner to gain materials? Yes, sex money, And I don't know if that slutnext, put slutnext. I definitely a slut is a person who is known to have

had sex many times with different individuals. Nothing about money. Nothing. So let let me ask you guys this because one of the things that I heard, get the funk out of here. All not money per se, but they just got to be doing something. You're just not gonna be just you said that in the clip that I'm sorry I keep messing you said having sex with people is doing nothing for you right or something? I quoted it and I want to oh, come on, come on, come on,

come on, hold on. Um. When I listened to it, I was like, oh, being used, that's what you said, right? And I saw all the comments some I think on Charlottagne page, I don't want to nothing. I got you wanna we talk about on because I'll tell me why. That's a reference to like, say, forst you're in a relationship with somebody, a man cheese on you, you you go cheat back. That's not really getting back. Get the nigga with more money than your nigga is getting back. That's

that's that's what men. Men don't give a funk with somebody's like you're feeling like revenge is sweet. Yes, they are more um concerned about the social social status of the man that you fucking went. You don't think. I've definitely done some ship like that. It felt good, But but here it is though. Let me tell you why.

I think there's some key differences. As someone who considers themselves more traditional, the things that pleasure you and make you feel good about yourself may be different genuinely, and you may agree with this to like I sometimes just love to fucking do nasty s because that ship it makes me feel sexy and hot and good, opposed to where you may actually feel like I feel nasty. I'm used to having a man one day, so then how

could I not feel used? But you would because I don't necessarily feel used if I'm having sex like that. There's times and times when when people are having like a whole bunch of sex, and this could be some psychology type ship. You didn't look at what's going on in your life at that time. Your grandmother might have just passed away, or I don't know, my pussy doesn't get wet with my financial finances ain't in order. Yeah,

I don't want to unless you assistant with that. If you are, you're saying because you know what, here's this you're just gonna say, Is that you because you like sing with niggas with bread. I's not giving me the brand just just but I don't sexual gratification. But that's the thing. Maybe you're just not a sexual being. And though I am not, the way you're speaking because the fact that ay, you feel like having sex with certain people are multiple people, however, has uh some sort of

like negative connotations to it. First off. Secondly, you brought up, uh, if someone has a lot of sex, maybe there's something wrong going on in their life or maybe it's the psychological thing that they have. First of all, I don't had a lot of sex. Okay, I have had multiple partners. Is we all hose in here for the most part based on most men's general definition of a hole? Absolutely, So I'm just saying at this age, I'm in my mid thirties, right at this age, I'm not just sucking

for nothing because it doesn't fulfill me. There's other things I can do, like I'm gonna certified spin instructor. I'll go work out or something like that. But it doesn't fulfill me to just be fucking for no reason. When's the last time you think or have you ever has some sex with the nigga? Got in the car and be like, gird you just laughed on some one night stand ship and you're still smelling like a hole telling your story. Have you been engaged since? So? Then yeah?

And then and then we on Alex because I'm not even wearing my ring right now. So anyway, there's that part, and I'm ready to come back to basically, bitch nigger cut my wake up. So we were supposed to leave to come here backful and who episode. We had an episode with Danahy, which is a psychic, and he said in another like he was like, you know, I think this person you're with is good for you. Um maybe in another life you were the husband and he was

the wife. And I feel like, Okay, that makes some fucking sense today because this nigga caught my wig up. That's mew every mic, but hours tell us about the wig. I just know that niggas is out here cut wigs up. All right, let's Segrenna. I want to definitely get into your hot tekes. I'm gonna make thishp quick as I don't even want to do it. Vanilla Ship, but here we go because this ship too interesting. But Vanilla Ship is our segment where we talk about something that's sexually

related somehow. In the News and Business Insider, a baby was born with three patience is a world first caused by a rare medical condition. This has never happened before, and I ain't gonna lie. Let me know when the bit turn a team. Wait wait does that sound bad? At least? Where was the baby, the baby. The baby was born in Iraq, so it'll be a brown baby. He was more aware in Iraq. After three months, his parents noticed additional bits of skin near his scrotum and

he was looking like swelling. And it turns out the extra bits of skin were three penises growing um a little bit shorter in length than the other. But I mean, yeah, so it's it's still a baby right now, So it's called triple penis. Or start getting hard at and like, how do they know each of those zicks? When will they know that each of those dicks will erect? Like

when was your first direction at it? Sure, I don't remember when my first direction you don't know, but when I was acknowledging probably Like if they all work, that'd be fun. Yeah, you know what's been hardly even he may be favor this, So just imagine if like sixteen, but also you can put the ass at the same time. Now, listen to this, every five to six million birds to penises come up. But this is the first triple penis. Now, cases of them happening are rare um, but they can

be a medical challenge if they're not treated. Some people actually carry it on. According to the report, no case of a child born with an additional penis is the same. All of them are different. In lane where some people are both, we're a double penis? Yeah, where is it a American? You know? I was black Book directory of Dix. They clearly put this down in hit three or and be like y'a only had any double dick? How you

was anyone born in two thousand one? Can you believe that you can be twenty years old born in two thousand one? Graduate? Oh my god, I don't want no, you don't know how old is that? Again? I'm not bag. I do want to take back my tape, pick the dick up. My so old, and I don't think like I was really moist over ron Eisley during that goddamn yes, I know he ate, but I was like dealing with old niggas now. And my man was like, I am

not eighty white. He looked good at his clothes, but just imagine what he probably got, the droopy skin, ye eight, what he probably had a tummy. I really want to and he's not even that old. Coma Obama too. Um sorry, So anyway, the horrid derve. Okay, we're gonna start with card again. I'm sorry. Eddn texted me in the middle of this, Hey, can you move her mike closer to her? And then he said card again, But it is I'm not gonna like you get on horrible decisions the girls

to be honest with and we got our moms. Wait a minute, what might jacket look like? What good? It's fire? Is it couci? It was just the first I can notice. Oh wait, it's a it's like a varsity that's what it's said on the website. But it's a blazer CARDI yeah, I'm going with more of a blazer anyway. Bitch, what's your sex to you? Making niggas will out over you say? Gotta be good. So we talked about this is like yeah.

So when we got the message, I'm like, my favorite thing is like, I can I'm pretty flexible for a chunky girl. But you put your knees all the way back, you know, over your head on the bed. But I can literally suck dick with my pussy will it in? Yeah? You got keg extracides, Like when the lights are red, start doing your keg. You use your kegoes to grip and really push. I could suck dick with my pussy. That's that's you win. I mean I could do it, but I cheat a little bit. I clenched my butt

cheeks together because then it tighted my pussy. The same thing when your asses, you know, contracting asshole likes. That's not a real keigo. I don't give an if it's real effect bit it work get the same good. I think it's just because, like when people clench their ass if you're not sure how to do kegels, you just feel like you're tightening everything, but you're just tensing it up really, and that's fine. No, one's not many why because then it makes it does make me pussy tighter

because I could grip it. He came move it when I do, when I push it out, and I just whole pussy be tight. I never want to see that again. Even I was like, I feel like that man is Michael Jackson. Now what about you, my love. I don't know if this is a real tip for y'all, but I just learned this recently. So when I'm giving head, I don't just grab the dick. I grabbed behind the balls, like to do the balls together, the balls and the

dick together. Oh, I love doing that. You'll be doing that, and even if it's too big, you just like put your tongue down there like you're getting the whole thing. Yeah yeah, and then I push it all the way to the back of my throat, so I create so much fit like that. You know, it's a different type of mucusa. I had a nig and clear my whole sinuses. Really not, I just started coming out of my nose.

To further, you're the COVID if you need to. You're positive COVID results, You're like, oh, it's all and it started drinking all. It's not just started, yes, because that means there's an infection. You imagine if it goes in like the dick hole and the dick ends up getting like codd Oh my god, what is happening? What do you mean the dick hole gets COVID? Honestly, I smoke to meck out here. I don't know what I'm saying. No,

that don't happen. My man went on all my holes while I was positive, and he tested negative the whole time. That's lovely. So yeah, I don't think it's transmitted through your COVID. So let's get into it. First hot take from We Talked Back. I loved the title of this is the White Grass Greener y'all had an E said about interracial relationships and talking about how you think there may be beneficialness from dating someone white or with a woman being worried. Tell me about that if y'all ever

dated a white dude. First off, this is a motherfucking chilly, freezing as cold ass take. Hey, y'all really are you're sitting the colonizers? Maybe maybe greener on that side? No, we were asking were everyone is green? Up? Yeah? Because so I don't want y'all on clubhouse right not number Okay, So a couple of weeks ago, it was a whole big thing about black women like leaving the black community,

like only fucking with white men. So that's why we had the whole discussion because I'm not with that ship. I'm not into pink dick. I'll jump on one again at some point, but it doesn't mean married, you're gonna stay. Not my life talk. It's not what I wanted. Yeah, I will say I don't like colonizers very well, But but I will say eve Serena Williams, they do seem happy with their partners. Cassie her Man is fine for football.

He has a black Travis count Now that's like na they got they gotta get a fade, like like white boys like that. Because then to me, it's like like all my white home girls that I have put some boys, they're real white girls. They don't like try to assist me. They don't be on it. I don't fuck white girls like that. I don't like. I never liked that. I find it to just be like you're almost making fun of me. Like when I say nigga, I want to be like, girl, you're crazy, like they want to know.

But well, white boys that do that, I don't that either, because I know when I leave and you turn the music up, you'd be like me and all my niggas, and I don't do that. I don't really care nothing. When no black people around they saying nigga in the song, my mom would never if your mamma no better, you're not there and you black, you black? If you're not,

she still knows not we're talking about. When the song is and they're listening, you think they're not gonna relate you even if because like think about the white people that never have a nigga's slip you. I feel like, you know how hard never nigga? Yeah, I've never. My white friends haven't had one around me, so I feel like if they haven't, there's no way they're saying that, because why that's my one I try nothing song. You're gonna just cut out one word in the song you're

vibing in your house. You gotta get you're feeling real black in the moment. Yes, yes, and you're gonna not saying nigga because no niggas are around to hear you. Wait, hey, they're not gonna enough. My god, that movie could have never came out to this, like why that thing isn't ablematic? I was watching it like this really was like the Ship And if you like I missed that, bro, you're gonna watch the movie and be like you're gonna look around like you and trouble watching it? Bro, I remember it?

Would you be bad that you laugh at the ship? You laugh? That was problematic? And okay, kids, I'm sticking at ship too. I just watched The Wedding Planner and me and my woke ship. I was like, they made her Italian. She's clearly Latina. I was like I was on Twitter, It's like I cannot believe this, and she agreed to it. But it's like I was, where you gonna get baby, That's why you don't like her saying the N word. J Loo says, Nigga, Oh yeah, yeah, sorry,

that fun name. I remembers my thing. This is why I want to have a policy black. It's the culture. It's not necessarily a nature nation of people. So black is like a culture. So she probably feels like she's of the black culture. So she can say naked. But you wouldn't say that if white people are saying it and they grew up in a hood. No, well, I don't know. That's why I don't think black. Black is not a culture, bro? What is it is a culture?

It's color. It's definitely a color. You have Africans who don't consider themselves just black. I mean I think that that's why even when they we have, well, when we have the in word discussion, and I know Kyrie Irving just came out and doesn't want it to even be reclaimed, He's like, we need to completely stop saying it. I think that's why even using the term black, I like to dissect it as just African American. I don't like African American. I like to but I like to add

that that's interesting that you're like, I don't. But to me, there has to be an American, just an American. That's what I feel like. Yeah, but I feel like Black Americans. If you want to take out the African, then Black Americans have such a different um I think, experienced, experienced culture from everybody in the world, even blacks from Africa. Blacks from the Africa then just don't consider themselves black.

They're Nigerian, They're but you understand it because there's no one against right, we need to identify ourselves so much because the person in the room're gonna look like us nine out of ten, right, I think what percent of the population is black? That's sucking insane. Soto finding what you're you know, checking your genealogy, talking to the elders in your family, and figuring out who the funk you are. So like, I'm from Charleston, South Carolina, where Geichy people.

There's a whole Indian indigenous tribe o Geeche Indians. So white people have a way of telling you a lie and the truth at the same time, so you can't depend on them for your primary research. We're trying to figure out who the funk you are so that you're not just calling yourself black because Negro was on the census up until so what are you? I don't want to be black. I don't want to be African American.

I definitely don't want to be Negro. Figure out who the funk you are as a nation of people if you want. So, we're going the whole right, and we're going to do we want to get Yeah, yeah, black ass. Floyd or need you love? The political with your line has talked about I don't want to be you want to be politically correct. Okay, let's get into some fun. You have to beat people to funk up. That's what I want. Doesn't heal? Is what you said? Um, and

this is the clip. This is how I found We talked back and literally I think my Instagram just like when Ho pops up and I'm just like, oh, just say you all. It goes right to me. But let's play your clip. Let's see a Friday here we go. Does not heal because at the end of the day, you're just letting somebody else use your vagina, you know, so you gotta stop thinking about your vagina using it. It's yours, so you use it how you want to. You don't let them use it. You use their dick,

not use your vagina. But you literally let somebody go inside your body, right, So because you choose it though, because you choose it, you take you when you said when choose that day giving them power over your vagina. No, your vagina has the power and you're using it how you know. Let's say you're going through a breakup and it's over. Sometimes that a v dick is like good to get through and just people after this breakup, as long as you're doing it responsibly and safe. You know,

you're a grown woman. I don't agree with transferring energy like that with so many people, but if you decide to do that, that's your prerogative. I'm not mad. So it went on, but yeah, I would say, do you not think that to get over somebody getting under someone is do you think that's completely not true? Let's talk

about that like this really not hell. I feel like it's possible, it's possible to get with somebody to get over, but I think it's more important to me, Like I want you to pitching me rolling like on some tupaction when we break up. I want to be looking better, I want to have more money. I want to be driving nice when you see me. Can just sucking a naken do that if he is, get you a new car and more money, and like, it's not everyone can

just level up after a breakup. A lot of people combine households or combined incomes and really go through shipped together that when a breakup happens. Sure you can go get a haircut, Sure you can go take a picture in some lingerie. But the idea that you're speaking of after a breakup short you can level up inside. But the idea that after I break up, I'm leveling up by getting a new car. Maybe No, that's not what

I'm saying. So and the breakup I'm comusing on it doesn't have to do with another with a man me jumping on somebody else days something that need to handle internally. This is fine because I don't know the first thing. I've been thinking about it like it's somebody else after

the breaking evening. Sometimes I don't I just be like yo, I need to get que I need to go out and I need to have somebody else be all because generally in a breakup, I'm feeling so worthless, right even if I'm the one who does it, I'm like, damn, something's making me feel not invalid invalidated. But you know

what I'm trying to say, like invalidated devalidated. Deal. Yeah. Now, whether that's healthy or not, I already know something y'all feel like it isn't, But I'm not going First, I do like going on a date and like, yes, I love that you didn't compliment last time I was with you, and then that's not fucking oh no. But I'm like

I depend on and they're like fucking to me. It's exciting and fun, and I love those first experience as a sucking someone new, Like, don't get me wrong, I'm a sucking the same nickel for a long time, but new dick do be like yeah, yeah. And I think that sometimes sex can bring intimacy and exciting excitement that you haven't felt in a while, especially when you've been down in the dumps with somebody. Break clubs are rough,

especially when you've been used to sucking one person. It is nice for someone else to see you naked for the first time and feel sexy again. A lot of women may have some body image issues in a in a breakup right, not feeling good about that. When someone new funcks you, they just be like, damn every beautiful yo. My mom's like, oh didn't I don't give a funk. They'd be ready Garfield, you know what I mean, let

me get that. Now tell me what y'all think. Have you ever fucked and it went the opposite away or it didn't heal you or something. I mean I brought up when all of my friends break up or have a heartbreak, I'll be the first be like, girl, let me get you a new nigga. Right, let's have some fun service. You sent me some way. Yeah, it was like Ubert did. I was like, I know a guy and what was that? Wait? Wait, I grew up and now I just get my friends flute out and that's

kind of cool. But wait, you you hubered? You just okay? Wait was this the guy that you had that you had had sex with previously? Yeah? I mean figure if you knew it was good? Wait, so you now that's the t for the man listening you. I used to tell you y'all never did that before, like, Dan, girl, you should this nigga? Yeah, actually done when I'm over one. Even when I was seven, Like if he would travel, I would be like I would tell my friend, like, girl,

this nigga in your city. It's good. You won't I mean, And I think even now with my partner, it's more like you want to join this. I'm trying to think I do this with three sons all the time, but I did used to do it. Yeah, I have so wait a second, So you did he know that you were sending him? Yeah? I say hey, I said, oh, we're literally on the phone. I'm like, hold on, let me texting. I was texting. I ain't gonna say when he was always take what was that text message? Like?

What you doing? You busy? I got for you? I was like, girl, I need to get fucked. Shut the fun over he was keeping. I was like, So when she said he was coming, I was like, oh, ship, I'm nervous now because I was like doing girl, do it. And then when he said he was coming, I was like, oh, ship, stranger is about to come over. Here? Was it good? Dick?

It was dick to get wasted like all right. So when he came he came in, he was nervous too, So that made me a little bit less nervous because he didn't just come in there like, hey, pull your pussy out right now. He wasn't like that. So we smoked and were drink and I got to know. I mean, he seemed like he had good morals and nice man like rooms. Yes, he was a nice just the dick over to her house and he's an African Muslim. I

learned about we're talking. We talked about right now, like you are so me like before I want to get sloppy on the jack, I'd be like no, but like I too, like love crystals and stuff. And then there's no cork in my fridge. We're gonna have a great time. Exactly what did happen? How long did y'all connect before y'all started? It was like maybe an hour and a half. We said yeah and just smoked and I learned about

his family and Africa and his education. We talked about a lot of stuff before and then and then he's like used the bathroom. He went in the bathroom, and I went in the room and got naked. So when he came out, of the bathroom, was like, come in here, and that's how it happened. And but yeah, he just in the nigger for the next four days. I'm like, you dick off. Do you like him? You looked at that cooking for him within a week, sitting her pictures

of us and having champagne and Sammy child. You know what, this made me think of Mandy and I so much because I went through a breakup and me and he looked me up with this dude. I flew we fucked. But we have been talking for a while because I was really nervous after that. The next time he was coming to Orlando, was staying at my house. He's watching my She was like, you're not supposed to do this, right? We like this watch? I was like, I know that, Like we're She was wiping the up. What are you

doing in the work. He didn't leave me some African sandals. I was sitting me to aj with my African sandals, like, Ben, you got got me some gifts? Like why videos? You know what? No? I actually him back to the streets. He started getting to but she was cooking, like no relationship relationships? Why he was cooking for him? Then we had to eat all right, work upside South Carolina. So what is this cheating episode you guys have? What is

that common theme you learned from the episode? Tell us about this cheating episode you guys did our first episode it said with three men you did it with? Yeah, tell us about that cheaters? What is the cheaters? Never win? Winners never cheat? So we had, yeah, a couple of guys calling and basically tell why are the reasons why they chat? Because I feel like women need a reason. Men just need a time and a place to get that pussy. So, yeah, opportunities. So we wanted to find out,

like why they cheat? Um, what gives you permission to cheat? What you find out? That's that's how you said, everyone, That's how we found out. The Witness Protection ship over their voice so they could be you know, candidate. Yeah, so they could be honest and they just told a ship we already knew honestly. Then. So the first guy was a younger guy and he was like, uh in the music industry. He had like money and he was

taking care of two different women. His man girl was like thirty one of traveler nurse and he said she was boring and then he had a twenty four year old fashionyone is young. First off, Ye, you know my pussy snap different now that I'm thirty. I ain't gonna hold you. It'd be snapping brow. That's the rest tap of baby. When I tell you I thought my pussy was women, when you get real like up god, I'm not gonna like, I will say what you just said.

I think we've talked about women do cheat as well, and I think that to be very fair, we get opportunity as well, and sometimes we don't have to have a reason. That's why I think hohen hills because when you cheat, you just be that nigga like probably is emotionally not filling you up, and you're like, you know what. Some it may not be emotional, but it could also be sexually. Maybe I'm not being pleased sexually when I cheating,

when actually I I'm ready to leave. I lit a naked cheating please and be himself in peace and tell I'm really ready to get the fun you believe in that respectfully. Cheating, Yes, yes, that's a making myself unhappy or hurting my own feelings, But isn't not just ignoring it. That's just ignoring it. That's because something you don't know about. How you ignoring it if you're not if you out here searching for it, going through, but you're telling me

if you think he's cheating, you choose not to look. Oh, I'm not talking about before the phone is just there. You genuinely feel like this person next to you is I have been in the phone maybe twice in life. Okay, you know the phone. You're gonna find all this ship you want to see? No girls in black pad and the emails I had boyfriend iPad logged in when he went to prison, back when you know, you just watch movies and ship. So he had to go to practice.

Left iPad the movie we were watching. As soon as he left, went straight to the emails. There was a car service for a bit and the next city he was going to. Oh, I did the name and everything? Shame? Did you tell him? So? Of course I didn't tell him. I found out. I say, you know, I know everything, you know, I got eyes everything, But I didn't exactly what you know? He found. I told him later down the line That's how I knew. But other than that, I'd be like, I keep it. You know how many

people I know? I knew everything because I have a question. So cheating is a deal breaker for you, it's not. I mean, but we're not monogamous in our relationship. We had a show with open relationships as well. I saw that you had Polly marriage um as one of the things that Dwayne left for us about your show. But I do want to talk about the differences with that. Yeah, talk about that. So we had a guy on the show, Dylan Dylan Lane. He's a guy he does in Charlotte

Lane Lane. Okay, Okay, yeah, Brot, that's the old that's only an Asian last name. Ling. Maybe it could be Italians Italian? What do you said, Ling? I'm like, damn, maybe, I don't want to say. I used to get mad they used to tell me I was Spanish because they said Amanda is actually a Spanish name. And I was like, bro it's white and it's Amanda, and I also Amanda the panda. That's Florida Hospital mascot. Okay, that's where I got my fame. You're fucking serious. My mom put in,

then my middle name is my cousin's name. Zero thought into my name as if I didn't come after two abortions, I should have really had a real name. Your name is after the hospital, the hospital mascot, and and my middle name is my cousins. All I could think of it's Tammy. Who's her mother's name? My mama, like, damn, we gotta name it right, baby, literal nigh and just walked back the man. That's how I command Amanda depends. Are you serious? I'm not lying at Florida Hospital, the

mascot is Amanda the panda. Damn, y'all are laughing because my name means it actually means love. That is what my my my name means love. Now you've been rejecting it until you turn thirty, man, but now I love y'all love anyway, though, hold on, I'm trying to find the panda. It's just a bunch of Caucasians. I'll find. I have my mama show you the birth. So we

got an open relationship. So we had a guy on he's in a five year relationship and they've been married for two years since two or three years away in an open relationship, and he went through the different steps, um, the different things that they went through, the different ways they did the open relationship. So first it was like don't ask on. And then second they had like this thing called church, which was like calendar that they would put on like when me too, I like church, but

they didn't. They hated like church because it was passive aggressive for this. Yeah, I could see that, And so he just basically got to the point to where he's saying, like, having an open relationship with your partner makes it easy to communicate with anybody in the world, Like you don't you know, you don't liking your job. You could talk to your boss like listen, you're not paying me enough, bitch or whatever. The only thing that I know open

relationship has done that. I would say, Um, it's counteractive with what I expected to happen, and it's okay because we work through it. But it's blurred some lines because through non monogamy. Um, for example, I want to know everything, you don't want to ship, you know what I'm saying. So when you have a nigga that lets you funk the niggas but wants to know nothing, um, and you want to know everything, then he's kind of like, yo,

but I don't ask you questions, you know what I mean? UM. I think the other issue is like the things that may make me angry. He gets very confused about why do you want to know? Though? I want to know because I think that for one, it's ego. And when you say you want to know, do you want to just know when he does it? Or do you want to see the girl's instagram? Do you want to know what she looks like? I want to know? Does you do want to know? But yes, physically you want to

be able to see who she's um. The only thing that we've had issue with two is there's a bit of a jealousy issue because he knows that I just can't. He's never had an emotional connection ever to someone who slept with that since we've been together. Right, Like, it's just super like whatever. There's a bit I like the who am whereas? And he likes it and they like it, and like they're respectful about it too, like they get

the vibe and I'm cool with that. But on the other end, with me, it's like mine is a little more premeditated and like I'm going to l a this weekend, so you already know, and I'm going to eat at this place and you know I'm not paying for it because it was taken me out and you know that this is going on, and like there's a little more thought to it opposed to him. It's just like, oh,

I didn't need to suck this bitch this weekend. It was just because I felt like it, Whereas the mine, I'm like learning calculated in that way and I'd like to do ship like that. So I think that's probably the blurred line of like he was like, I just kind of thought this was gonna be some shoop when but you were out there, you're out there. I didn't know he was looking for the nigga, And I was like, oh, he just thought it was just supposed to happen. I

think because his was spontaneous. You know mine also yours be a replacement, like if you were to find somebody else. Mine is just a little more. It requires some maintenance to where his doesn't like he's gonna suck whatever he wants to, that's just the truth, whereas mine is like sometimes I behave when I'll send you a little vacation, pigg do you like the beach? No? But I mean

I think that's also just me. I'm kind of emo, you know what I'm saying, Like I'm I really haven't had a situation where I've seen a nigger and just wanted some dick because I think about my nigga, But really it happened that way. So I think those blurred lines of like Philip finding out what you're comfortable with, you need to explore a lot in open relationships, and it could make or break you. But once you get past that hurd or it's cool and it's not for everybody,

you know what I mean. But when I say men aren't with open relationships, we go open. I mean, we're not open. But I this is the first guy and I I tell him, I like, damn, why I ain't meet you when I was really a home because what the things you say would have been music to my ears. Like he know I'm going to Jamaica and he's like, I know what happened in Jamaica. I'm going with my

my home girl's birthday. But he's like, if you want, like to have fun out there, like have fun, like get you like And I'm just like, oh, but I don't want any like. Bro, he just came ten times this morning. I'm good, he'd be I'm good, y'all talk about being homes but y'all not really hols, like for real, you know, on vacation. I'm not getting no vacation. Mandy is in love right now. Don't let her do this. She let me tell you something. Let me just y'all

might be one hole together like us. Hold this is a hold down. You're Mandy bro Chill, bro, because we don't do this because I'm anna hope for my man. Bro. Let me just say I am. I let him fun me with another dick in his hand. Mandy, that's not a real home. She's been in love. You called this your first real boyfriend. You've used that was the one in high school account so I think to not have that for ten years or maybe even twelve years if you count in high school. I think this is why

it's really weird to associate hole with you. But what I'm hoping happens is you come to your whole. We go to the second club every weekend, like hope this It was gripping that bitch oping. What I mean is there was once upon a time where she too was and now I feel like I have to hold it down on my own. Do you hear this right? Bail going to the sex club every weekend. Now my whole car both it's you're not even seeing Jamaica as a

big dick opportunity, bitch. But think I got a big dick and then he fucked me with King Duars dildo. That's a big dick. All right, Let's go say home, mail, Let's find a real going to Jamaica to dream my size bit. You ain't act like you've been to Jamaica. Striping guinnis for me. Thank you? All right, Let's try to help this whole out. Hey, ladies, not Mandy. Your podcast has been the main sex podcast that's helped me

through a very dark period of life. I've been healing from sex trauma the last couple of years through therapy, support groups, and focusing on my health. My question is how can I get out of my abstinence while depression is still lingering. I feel like a j might can help us with this. Men want a fun woman or a woman who's at least happy, and while I do have my happy moments, my mental health is a journey

and I want to embark into another whole phase. I feel like I need it in order to fully heal and feel empowered and integrate my sexual trauma, healing work. The only whole phase I went through was in art school, but it was all low life drug addicts or poor dick that never treated me right. Now, in thirty one, I want to just be treated well. Capital cists I deserve and I'm successful. I have a podcast about mental health, I do yoga. I'm a writer and a speaker and

have a lot of things going for me. And I want a guy to spend on me for once. I need sugar daddy attention. But I want to start sucking, and I'm terrified. I think I have a kink and it probably comes from trauma. Is that I need to be in control. Tell the guy that I want to fuck. Once we're done, they gotta go. I want no emotional connection. I just want to hold it out and reinvent myself. But my depression trauma is blocking me. How can I

get out of this mental block? I got something to say, but I'm gonna let you start h So, so she's a whole she wants to so Okay. I feel like in order to be a healthy home, you gotta be whole with yourself. So she's in like some type of the state of depression, like How is dick really gonna help with that? If she has to be whole first, and then I feel like it would be more fun once you sucking all the day. I feel like that too. I feel like it's when I'm to be happy to

have sex. Now you're kink of one of the kick nigs out after you're done fucking, Like if you really wanted to do that. Anonymous tex sex type ship like you definitely could. Fat life like a lot of grinder ship is anonymous sex. But I actually think you may feel worse. I think she and I normally don't think that. It's only because you're already feeling I think she to reread her email. So the clip you you read contradicting, Yeah,

what is I was saying? Like, if you're already in a down place and you just out here fucking, That's what I'm saying. You need to recognize what's going on in your life when you just start picking up all these dicks just having sex for no reason? What what's going on with you? But she still needs to get fun? Can we not all agree with that? Um No, don't look at me like that, because you know I'm I'm gonna guys, I am no longer Mandy, I don't know who I am. Okay. So when you've read that, risk

not bobile baby. Okay. So as you were reading the email, I took two things from it. Hey, if she reads it back outside of the depression, the anxiety, her low point wherever she's at right now, she was contradicting and even what she wanted. So in the one sense, she said, I want to be a hope, but I wanted to I want to be treated well. Then at the very end she says, I want to be a hoe, but I want to just tell them. I want to sun them.

Then I want them to leave. So there's it's conflicting because to be treading well as a woman ship, we do want the intimacy, we want someone to be there to listen, to speak. And then on the opposite and she's like, no, but I really just want to get fucked and then tell them to go on their married way. She also mentioned sugar babies, sugar daddies. They will kick like there's a dynamic there where you don't have the

power that maybe you even think you want. There's a lot of things in that email that conflicted with each other. So I think that she doesn't know what she wants. I think that she is in a very low place to where she thinks that the different things of this can resolve this depression that she's in. And I'm not gonna lie myself a lot of my friends, There's been times where I've had sex. I mean, just even with my man in fucking in January, I was at such

a low point. I got up from the bed and just started crying, and I was just like, and I just went back to the bed fighting because one doesn't heal for what reason. Now, what I'm saying is it breaks up a break up, but don't already know who you want to try to hold fucking you. I don't know who you want to. I don't know you want to fun. I know who's d M. I'm gonna slide into it. That's the same, you know. Yeah, I don't know. If he don't let me funk him, I'm just gonna

shoot that's the fun. So I think this is a great email to do in this episode. It kind of wasn't on purpose to be real with you, but two different types of healing, because this totally agree with what you're saying. When you're mentally and like seriously depressed. But it's not it's not it's not gonna heap or or I know, because it's another person's energy. And you don't make who said it in the clip that they don't

believe that sex transfers energies. We said so, yeah, and that's the thing when you're dealing with some sort of trauma, is dealing with trauma or you Yeah, the piece that you didn't put in there, When you're dealing with some ship and you're letting man literally ejaculate his problems into your womb, imagine how this comp girlsulate, you know, another thing,

Like I'd rather not have sex. I don't like I've been and it has to be And I'm like, I want this, you want one, and I haven't been, bro it's just a big wide, meaty dick, and I doesn't want like a hamburger like hamburger like me the other day slowly and told me because he needed to stretch my pussy out and I want to be like it up, but I did because I'm a respectful how anyway, No, I'm I think depression and the healing has to be different.

I think breakups definitely definitely going to get Yeah, because men women get dick thrown at them all day long. We got to turn it down. We want to be a hool, so we want to funk people and men may as for breakups, and I don't care, genuinely, I really don't care who thinks it's unhealthy. You really feel like you'll never get someone again. Sometimes in a breakup you feel like there's nobody else that exists, Like I've felt that. You know, I'd be like, I'll never fun

someone else again. There's no other niggas out here, And when you finally me, you'll be like, oh yeah, I don't feel like it's always niggas out here. What are you talking about? And so dick is in plethora. They will suck a chicken sandwich, so you know what I mean? I like. Choosing love is like I like somebody who can get bitches but ain't accessible to all of it. You'll never know j is so picky. You might need

to pick your wig back up and nigh. That's what I told her choosing I need this and I like and I need to get paid and I need to get sucked. Right. They don't want to conduct ship and get back, you know what I mean? All right, let's tell the people where they can find you. Um, we know you're on the Black Effect Network, but yeah, tell us where we can find your socials. Know you asked me a question earlier, and I think you forgot about it. What was it you asked us? How do we know Challemagne?

And how did we ask that before we started? Okay? So I know Charlemagne from Columbia, South Carolina. This is a funny story. He was working at the radio station and he was doing a remote in front of a barbecue, a barbecue restaurant, and I was going to get me a rim sandwich and he was out there and I was like, he had like the setup, you know, the DJ and ship. So I went over and I tried to get me some free tickets to a concert. And I always want to ask for something free, don't they

get some tickets and some posters? So that's how old you know it is? That's real, that long long time ago. And then we've been friends ever since. Did you get the free ticket he did? He gave me talking about when I was Yeah he was, I mean he was might have been. So he worked at I need three in Charleston, South Carolina, and I won ticket to go see Nas. It was Naws at the house and boozing Myrtle Myrtle Beach, South Carolinas. I called in one tickets and him and his now wife they were on a

trip to so we rolled like a stretch navy stretching. No, I forgot the whole thing for the little radio, the radio associate. So we drove the navigator down there, me and a friend. I even altered my driver's license to put eight teams. But you you wrote it down, I kind of scribbling older. Did you just write a new date on? And now you've been scratch into the plastic and they used the red pen. Remember that could be eighties, so I could change the date of I was anyway

put you to We all already friends. We met at college in college, so me and Charlemagne have been friends since back home because he's from Monst Corner, which is like outside of Charleston. So I met me and tam Man in college college in South Carolina. The Tigers. Yeah today was now dog shit. As much as I have no concert happening exactly, something exclusive going on, as much as I'd be on Brent fire as Dick and I know Charlemagne. What the funk I'm telling you? When they

haven't met the breakfast club. I need to be in the background taking I'm Taylor for the day, Taylor Chicken. She just wants to give out, honestly, And you know, I don't know. Have you ever heard me talk about a rapper or anybody like that? I don't even want to. I mean I have, really am I supposed to just start saying, Nate one that I fucked? I mean you did. I've never sucked a rapper, though you did fund on his dick or pillow or something too right, But isn't

that badly? Don't count? I was like nineties, still is saying four years later she didn't have anal sex because she said the whole shaft didn't go in. But happened, Bro, It happened, Bro. She'd be loving saying, don't but like one that I really wanted. I don't care you didn't cry it down it maybe it doesn't Wait if what if it don't come? Put me on Southwest bro Southwestern bags, though you get to check to what's it's free bag?

My thing is I don't like how bitch, don't get no seats, so now you like get in like we did Molly all night. So I missed my flight. When you're driving off to the airport and Atlanta Hartfield, I was like, Oh, they're gonna make me pay to do another one and he was like okay, and I was like, you need to turn around. It's what I'm saying. We're no cash happing shaped back then, So what's crazy? I remember now because used to Western Union me bitch, Western

Union money. When you think of how being a hole used to be back in the day, Now I got fluid out of being funny on Twitter. Nigger. All I had was one picture. I got fluid out off being was on Twitter like this. If you don't know what we're talking about, please check YouTube. Anyway, what YouTube, y'all, y'all we talk back. We're so happy to have our first Black Effects podcast on here with us. Um. I'm not saying we're coming to South Carolina, but you know,

shout out to Charlotte. Did one of our last live shows before COVID hit in Charlotte and they were amazing. They came out on a Wednesday night, packed out the house. So just shout out to show. Shout out to thank you for listening to our show if you are tired of us having guests, even though these guests were fun. Patreon, we are damn near almost have solo episode. So I need y'all to understand that, because I feel like y'all be like, who's gonna be here to leak now if

you don't like them? For real, Not y'all. I'm just saying, hey, look, listen to us alone and if you want to join in the convo. Once a month on Patreon, we do live town Halls. Mandy and I are now doing four episodes a month, and we have a new tier where you can watch behind the scenes fitted even behind the scenes for from today on our new tier, So go to patreon dot com slash Horrible Decisions what else? Um. Yeah, Also,

we are working. We're gonna discuss uh. I know a lot of you guys y'all here in Spanish ads now and ship, but we are gonna probably possibly try to work on getting some ad free episodes over there for y'all. Well, our Patreon episodes are ad free. You can go over there and listen and sometimes Wheezy just be wanting to stay talking to me. So we even got like our plus episodes over there, so if y'all want to go listen over there. Um and like like you said, also

a lot of you guys see these mugs. Y'all have been asking where can I get these mugs? If you like these mugs. These are actually for our top tier patrons, So fifteen dollar patrons get a little cute things like this every in the canvas in the back behind and the campus and there's t shirts, there's sweatshirts and we're getting new designs for that. Also, if you guys are all caught up with us on both Patreon and our regular episodes, feel free. On Mondays you can also listen

to Periods this which is my other podcast. It's a very short form uh edutainment type of podcasts of storytelling, um tales of womanhood. So it's various women sharing their tales of their health, journeys and everything else. And then on Tuesdays you can listen to me for goddamn to three hours goddamn on. See the thing is when my girl Bridget Kelly and we have our friends with benefits joining us. Yes, Also on Tuesdays we've got for fact sake with Me and Eddie Doll Seppy. Y'all go see

him film. Yeah, he's coming in two weeks. He was so funny. He's like, I don't know if Mandy likes me. He was like, why do you think that? Because when he was on the episode, he's white presenting, so he was telling the story and you were like, what are you talking about? You don't remember that he said your life with a Loving hip Hop movie. He's like, I don't think she liked that was what you used to

do that? So I felt like maybe hip hop used to say I dressed like loving hip hop on the tour, Bitch, you did? You had all glitter, everything is fabulous. I didn't say it was it and it was lost. I never said it was. But there's a hip hop tire and I'm gonna explain what it is that was never shade. Loving hip hop is over the top for every occasion when they go to have their friends over, they are

fully dressed, full makeup and whatever. Mandy is that bitch day we got Woja cat move, bitch, sure you wish? What do you think now? What do you think that? Did you see how she took it a shade? It was. It was in the auto you see what I mean. You fucking check out the five minute motherfucking bonus play. Thank you guys for listening to Yeah another episode of Poor but Decisions. Make sure you'll talk. Make sure you'll check out we talk back and what you thout. We're

every Thursday and we talk about yes on Instagram. I'm a j Holiday two point oh on Instagram. I'm tam Bam official tam Bam on Instagram. And we'll have that in the description so y'all can click and talk them. Sorry that we kind of just talked all over that Edin, but if you could catch all them notes, that would

be great. Thank you, sir, by God, say bye, ed and say bye to the people I feel like they don't want to hear me say by it comment by What other qualities do you think should be deal breakers for non negotiables in order for it to make sense to move forward outside of the looks? If if if they're in the position where you are, where I really want a boyfriend, I really want a man, what other

qualities should they have outside of looks? If you have to still have look you, well, I think first thing and I think this is the question I've asked, so, what's what's today's Saturday? So it's almost been seven days of reflection. Asked started with asking yourself what is it that you want? And being very clear and what it is that you want? Right, because I think as women sometimes we don't define what it is that we want.

And once I define that, I was able to kind of I think I'm getting more clarity on what it is I need out of a man based on what I want, right, and those those things didn't involve looks, So to achieve the goal I want to achieve. Now I'm like, okay, so it's like reverse engineering, right, So now I'm starting to do that and I am having

like even conversations with you. Last night it was like, yo, I probably gotta cut off like al ten of these dudes and maybe focus on you know, and if none of them were none of them fit what I've now defined as what I want or can get me there, they gotta go. Do you listen to Kevin Samuels? So the new one has me listening to Kevin Samuels. So I only say that because is youret And I think it's also clear that you still don't really know what you want? Mhmm. And a lot of the women that

call in to Kevin Samuel's show, sorry guys. He asked them so many questions and it feels like it trips them up, and he's able to completely control the narrative on who they are and why they don't have what they want, simply off the fact that a lot of them don't know what they want. I remember one woman was like, I mean, I have kids. I guess if my partner wants kids, sure I'll have them or and I was engaged, but I called it off and I can't really tell you why. He just wasn't it. And

there's a lot of women who date that way. They date knowing that they want a partner, but not knowing what they need fully from another half. And that's what that's that's what I just said. I had to reverse engineer this baby, right, said what do you want? And I was very clear with you, I want to be married, I want to have kids, so okay, cool, but what you're doing and how you're acting isn't aligning with that, right.

So it was more of a self check with myself, like you actually got align with what you say you want because I'm very clear that I want that because the relationship I just got out of I was also raising five kids, and you know, I want my mom. I was a step mom and I and i'm and I'm very much a maternal human being. So I just

have to walk in what I say. I want. You know what I'm saying, and it's and it's I think I get distracted, you know what I'm saying, And like like you, I'm also career focused and I'm busy, so sometimes it's easy to have like whatever basic conversations because I don't have time and the mental capacity to deal with a whole lot more for the longest fucking day.

You know what I'm saying, And I know you feel that that's what But like I think your person allows you a positive escape from that, you know what I'm saying. Where is situations that may not be right, don't right. But also the fact, like you said that a as career driven women, we want an escape from our partner. So that's why what I brought up earlier in the episode about all of the negative connotations of relationships then being hard them not being easy than being hard work.

We work so hard in our day to day life. I can't. I can't have a relationship that feels like another job period. At this point, I know I can't

do it. And I think that that's probably what works against a lot of career driven, very busy women, is that if you go down the gender roles, the patriarchy, which a lot of people still want to kind of uphold a little bit, it takes a lot to run a business, to be an employee, to to be an entrepreneur, and then no, fuck, I have to go home and cook and clean, bold fuck suck and and make sure that I'm everything that a wife, because being a wife and being a mother, those are also jobs.