Ep 194: Cemetary Sex & a Bottom Betch (Ft. Daya)

We also have a segments T shirt that says kink of the Week, Vanilla Ship, hordor, Horrible Decisions and homemail. We didn't want to put horror on everything. Our mask says I like my man six ft. Oh wait, and then of course we got the boy shorts to put on your little Buddhist So guys, go to hor hive dot com and get your merch. Now, thank you guys for sporting. Now let's get on with the show. Guess what decision we're about to make? Horrible decisions? Hey, thanks

for listening to horrible decisions this week. Mandy and I just wanted to present a trigger warning. This is a really fun episode. I think this girl is fucking disgusting and funny and sexy and it's great. However, there's conversation about rape, so we just wanted to make you aware of that sensitive material. Otherwise, listen up, Enjoy. Make sure to follow us on I G. Horrible Underscore Decisions, write us on Twitter, tell us how much you love this

pod at Horrible Pod, and hey, leave us a review. Enjoy, Enjoy. Welcome guys to another episode of Horrible Decisions, More Horrible, Horly you right in review wherever you are listening to us. I'm your girl, Mandy v A K sign a k A tripod Mommy. Hi am wheezy. I'm not the biggest horn in the room. We have a guest. I'm just kidd might who might have definitely the biggest horn. I think these are real new. You got help homes. You said they're real new. They're real new, Like these are

COVID tips. I was about to say, but you got him quarantine. I went to California in May and I got the tips stuff. But you got it in during the pandemic year the faith as well. So wait, is this cannot They're not sailing failing. No, there's still at COMBA. The high grade still a comb same. This is what I don't know if she should drop when you're a but my bids look just like that in the beginning.

In the beginning, I remember it being right here and I had that porny look and then so I want to just briefly share that I got to see these tits in lace and I was just like, God, damn, her body's nice. But now that I'm like, the tips probably were you know. Yeah, I mean it's also like your tips are a function of like the way your tips were before. So I had like really high flat tities that's like the tear drop shape that I had.

I kind of thought I would lose. I thought it would getting more around, but it's like you just get bigger to literally it's your boob when you get the silicone type right when you basically you get the implants and they match and form to the way your boob's already looked opposed to silicone where it's kind of like they just fill them up and turn into their own. But I mean, of course they're safer if they break, but I don't give a fun they break, I could die. Well,

they say was about the same. So the people get sailine because you know it'll just dissolve into your body, opposed to silicone, which can harm you. That's why a lot of people don't like silicone. However, silicone feel and look better. Those are the ones that if you like, hit it too hard, it will pop you me. No, they don't pop. It's just like they could be more damaging. They're both just as good. It's the casing. But silicone is gonna feel like a gummy bear. It's gonna feel

like real tips. Yeah, they look nice almost not. I'm gonna try to be respected. Get out. Oh yeah, we're gonna be all Ariola watch. I'll be doing it. I have to blur it out, Benson, Benson, Just what a great job you have. You know what? No, I go like like when I go out with my friends, depending on the outfit, I'd be like, all right, but you want Ariola watch? Because I feel like my friends forget I'm like, why didn't you say anything? They're like, I

didn't even see it. People just tell me I thought you knew. I'm like, no, I did not. I can't feel So. Your name is Dianora. Tell us a little bit about you. What you do for work? While you're on our show. I mean you said you're a whole, but I mean you said she was before she could say it was. It was an educated guess. So yeah, I guess. Yeah, if you want to introduce yourself, and then I can also say where I met you. So

I'm a fetish performer, educator. I was a stripper before the pandemic, which is why I decided to do the tips like during the pandemic, so I wouldn't have to worry about recovery. Um. But I perform, and I teach workshops, and I have my own private business in bottoming which crosses over both to anal bottoming and to beat a sum submission and kink. When you stripped where you when you when you were stripping, you said you're a fetish performer.

Was were you different than the other strippers there because you did different type of stuff or you just branched into this well, I mean I started stripping like in the Fall. I mean I had some friends in it. They got me into the scene. But at the strip club I worked, which was Sapphires, like right here, they did. So there's a friend in our community who's the artistic director there Warren Archer and he has a kink room.

So that was my specialty at the strip club. Like I would take couples in there or like what was it, like, what are you able to do at a strip club with in kink? Well, if there is a St. John's Cross and their whips and floggers, you can do a lot in a strip club. That's fine because people go to dungeons for that. But you would never think they go to a strip club. I wouldn't think that. Well, they don't really expect it. But once they're there and like it's a couple and they're like, oh, we want

to play with you or we want to learn something. Yeah, And that's honestly more fun than stripping. Is like getting to have a real experience with a couple. And so when you're in, when you're stripping, I'm curious to know, like have you enjoyed yourself? We've only we had a stripper come on, Justel. She was very popular. She was involved with the Stripper Strike, but that was a while ago. When you're stripping, do you get turned on by it? Do you feel like it's just work? Like how does

it feel for you? For me, it's my own fantasy. I get to embody a certain aspect of my personality, of my sexuality. So I identify as gender nonconforming, but when I'm a stripper, I'm totally female. That's a really fun place space. How do you identify the outside of the strip club? What do you mean you're gender your gender nonconforming, but as a stripper, you're a female. As

a stripper, that's my full female persona. Okay, alright, so I would he just wants you to elaborate on gender nonconforming. Gender nonconforming means that inhabit both energies like male and female equally strong. But it's also connected to the fact that I do have a hormone condition, so I have naturally more male testastia than the average female less female. How would you find that out? I mean you just

find out growing up not having a period. Wow, right, And I'm like, oh wow, I didn't know that I have been pregnant. That was a mistake. But I menstorate it like once twice a year. So for a while I was just like writing free, Like, so, how do you know when you're opulating? I mean, I still get the symptoms, Like, I'll still get superpressed, but like I don't know. Yeah, wow, now I feel like I don't know, overstep here. But it sounds like I'm buzzing in these guys.

Is there? What? What? That's what I'm saying. I've been pregnancy, But what's the bad? What are they like? Yeah? What's because it sounds like I'm not gonna lie? I want to be more? Can I just need some more? I need the motucab to have a little bit. You want a little bit? You know, a little bit? But damn so two periods of year? Yes, that sounds like like I'm literally planning trips around my period. Are you ever

scared that you're pregnant? Because you really have? Hear you? Honestly, I just keep a bunch of pregnancy test anxiety of like I hate them. I mean, don't get me wrong, It's better than hating it coming every month. But so, do you take a PREGNACYE test like monthly? Because you do have multiple partners? I do have multiple partners, so I do take tests pretty often, like oh shit, every five weeks. What I'm just saying you any day? Do you use condoms? I have like fluid bonded partners, so

fluid bonding partners. They bonded with the FIDS. So bitch, she don't be wearing condoms every time, so every five weeks, right, Okay, I can rock with that. So, speaking of um before we get into this, because clearly we have a ton of questions about b d s M bottoming, because bottoming to me, of course, I've always used that term for

men who bottom for other men. But before we get into it, I wanted you to kind of differentiate because you actually said you found kind of almost the safety insects through b DSM but also through different shading it between noticing that you had a previously abusive relationship. So can you kind of talk into how you differentiated between

the two because there could be listeners right now. We've often talked about b d s M where they could really actually be in more of an abusive relationship than a b DSM one. So, like my story, and it's a bit of a controversial thing to say, so this is like a content warning to everyone. But I was like my first relationship, it went down a wrong path and then there was an incident of rape, and when I confronted that partner and said like, hey, what happened?

Last night and it was a fight, but that was not okay. He's like, I don't know. We were just experimenting, And for me that was a big question mark because biologically I enjoyed what happened. I enjoyed me tied me up, I enjoyed the forcefulness. I enjoyed all of it, but I knew emotionally that it was not okay, and that's

not how that fight should have ended. Okay. So the relationship when in the direction of a lot of experimenting with media SM So there are parts of it that I was excited about that I bought toys for scenes that I directed, but it became an excuse in the relationship. Every time we had a fight or every time I misbehaved, violence was introduced, so you weren't It wasn't consensual at all. It just happened, and you knew. That's what I'm saying.

They were scenes that we had built together, times we had sex, where we negotiated things the proper way to about over time it because I think people won't understand. So sometimes in the media SM community, I guess one of the vocabulary terms used is scenes, and it's basically where you're stepping outside of normal sex and or your vanilla ship or your regular life, and you jump into that world. That's where the term scene is reference. I don't know if people are thinking we'd either like, oh

did you do poor scenes? A subscribe to my only fans, but not in this sense. You were just having different engagements with your partner. Yeah. Scenes means a structure your sexual experience, and wished consent is renegotiated your terms of exiting a scene or exiting the dynamic, or negotiated what you want to happen is kind of roadmap. And so during these scenes, essentially you're safe words and what did make you feel comfortable? Those boundaries were crossed a lot,

you know. I mean what I'm saying is there were times where we intentionally experimented, but then there were times we were just fighting or having sex and he used, you know, choking, hitting, all these things. Have you had moments where you asked him to stop or you just felt like this was what was normal? I did. That's I'm saying. It's a controversial thing to say, like I was so blearned in this situation where biologically I didn't understand there were other people who liked pain and pleasure

and there was a place for it. Ah, So you did you find so? And we've had him on the show. You actually told me that you did actually find your safe space and b D s M through NSFW. So did you leave your partner once you found that you could enjoy these things consensually? No? I mean I left my partner when he threatened to kill me. That was that's a whole another right. But then you know, as I continue to date people, these questions came up. I still wanted to play. I met people naturally who were

like me and wanted to have rough playing experiment. So there's a you know, a plane man have had for a really long time to this day. And one day he asked me, can you taught me? I want you to hit me. I want to humiliate me, and I just went for it. It's not cute, was not what he was asking. So I just googled like workshops in filmdoms and dominatrixes, and that's why I found NSFW. So NSFW is a sex club. We talked about members only. We talked about Daniel saying often, um, if you guys

want to look it up, you can. But there's so many articles on NSFW, Forbes, BuzzFeed, Humpington Post. I've seen a bunch, and I'm curious to know your experience with NSFW specifically, what's been different from there from other places that you think that they take heat do. It's become really clear to me, especially during the pandemic, and it's

a space that did have it a lot. I'm very involved in event planning and teaching and performing now, but as a bottom so as someone who's submissive, as someone who has a female body, as someone who likes pain and you know, Dixon toys and things in my ass, I'm in a naturally vulnerable place. So as much as I can identify as a man and with male energy, I don't have the same freedom to go on grinder, to be tied up and have a guy just walk

into my house right now. For sure. We talked about often, um how the gay community is just a lot more accessible with using grinder and just having multiple partners and they come, they play, they leave. But again, even with Tinder and other acts like that, for women, we don't

have that luxury to just kind of safety. Just the future issue that women all across the board, I mean even in lesbian relationships to you know what I mean, like rough play, Like it's just there's a weird boundary that people don't know how to respect when it comes to women. I don't know where it comes from. I think it's something we've been taught for a long time.

I mean a few weeks ago, we just did an episode about the Bible and it's like all of those things when it comes to women and the mistreatment, like it's just all back in our head and we have no idea where it comes from. But I want to know when it comes to NSFW, has there been a time like because I'm always curious when people are having what some would think of as violent sex, right, do have you had a conversation with the partners that you're about to play with at NSFW? Do people that work

at NSFW set boundaries? How does that work? The boundary setting? Is it used at the club? Is that the person that you meet? How does it work out in that structure? Well, the club itself creates a safe space. It's a community. Um, so there's a certain level accountability just built in. There have been plenty of people people who I've played with and thinks have not gone well, who are no longer

in the community. Interesting. There's also education aspect. So my first official role in the community was I was head what were they called nymph? So the nymphs are there to serve as the point of contact for content. I like that. That's so interesting. I did not know that at all. So how many nymphs are normally at a party, depending on the size of the party. There should be too. There should be one at the door who's giving me a little intro like say, hydrated, always asked for consent,

don't be creeper, no photos. I've heard someone tell me that it was probably me. But there's and there should be a circuling nymph that is the more close point of contact for whatever people need. Got it? Okay? Nothing good thing that I would differentiate between as well in that space. Um, the first time that I went to an accept of you during covid um, it wasn't the last time when I saw you, but the first time

I brought my boyfriend. And to me, comparing it to other sex clubs is it is very kink focus to me in the in the realm where we first walked in, and it was pretty early, it was at ten o'clock, maybe ten thirty, so before everyone else started really piling in,

and they were still doing their virtual show. And so we go in and there is an Asian woman dressed as a complete dumb and she is pegging and whipping and spanking um across dresser and my boyfriend at that point, I don't think he had ever really seen that, and I was just like, I hope you're comfortable. If you're not, like, maybe we can, you know, because it's so large. But he was actually amused by it, like this was something

that he had never witnessed in person at all. But also the fact that when they were done, I was like, girl, I love you outfit, and they were like thank you, and they walked around. And I do enjoy that it is a space where you may have bisexuality, gay men, um and of course straight couples all in one room, just enjoying each other. I really liked that Daniel being by himself. So one you have a sex club run by a man who's by and to me, I don't know,

I guess we never. I don't know if I've ever been to a sex club where I the owner was front facing. I can't and I think when you feel that connection to someone, you respect their space more. It's like an Airbnb. If you stayed at someone's house, you're probably gonna be a little more tidy if you know them, and if you're in an airbb, you're gonna be like, I'm not gonna And I think that the close connection in that is really what has helped him create such

a community like that with people. Like my first time going into it in a party, I remember be like, oh my god, everybody knows each other. They were welcoming to me, but I was like each other, how they all fucked? Like? I was like, am I cute? But I was wondering like are they talking to me because I'm a newbie? Are they talking to me because I'm pretty honestly, we talked to you because we're generally curious, like why you're here, and we want to know your fantasies.

Like right now we're building, like I'm helping lead a new party called Kink and it's sort of a fantasy space, so pretty basic. That's a very what's right, we're going to kid? What about it? I don't know how to explain, YEA, So it's kind of Barro from the model of lap dance parties, except like come and you can book lap

dance party. That Yeah, what's the lap dance party. That's a whole underground thing in New York where it's like not strippers, but you go to Space and they're a bunch of like pretty girls and you can get a lap dance. You could talk to them. But that's the way. Wait, just Ship Club is more explicitly like this is a stage. Like stage makes it difference well on stage and like the floors really just like so it's like a party.

I didn't know that was the thing. That's how the cost for that the common cost like entrance is usually around a hundred and then it's still like twenty dollars to lap down ship people like crack and coke. I feel, you know cokea rich people drive dance, but you pay expensive tool Sapphire. So how much is the entry ually? It depends because I've got my old sugar Daddy, the white dude, when he got me that apartment on fifty four, and we would always go to Sapphires and he was

always every time, like seventy five. I mean, he looked rich whatever, And I was like they are talking now. I let people get their coins, you know what I'm saying. And sometimes strippers would come up and they'd be able

to give him this basic price. And I'm like and like, it's so funny because I think that I don't know if this has happened to you, but when women come in with sugar daddies or like you know, very like super old and her young girl, you like, because they're always do you understand right, We're like, I'm not to get money, right, there's a certain level of like him being a sugar daddy and like you kind of know if it's a stripper to like he gets it, he

gets you know, he's going to respect the I don't think they thought it was a stripper. I would I might have got a better looking dude to the still live. But I remember like a few strippers would like kind of like give me a look, or we would talk, or like they'd whisper funny things to me. Um, I'm talking about girl. And one g eld said to me, were getting our cash tonight. I noticed, right, well, I'm excited to get more into the BDS some conversation with

you for the horrible decision. But y'all know, bitch, what's the whole like outline? So we always do an outline, Mandy, I mean, but I'd really like an outline soe that I like it, and people know that we've joked about you not so much liking it. So I'm gonna make sure we seek to the one I made you like it, you know, because because I knew like that first topic was sensitive and I didn't want to make sure like

you were comfortable. So the vanilla ship for this week, for those of you who may be watching or listening to us for the first time, is our sex in the news um topic. And this also somehow brings us back to our old kink of the week that we once had. We no longer have our kick of the week. Second, because we went which we went through them all which we we there's never too many kids. Well you know

what it is. They just crossed over a lot. Yeah, we like with like we did the wild Ship, like the eyeball looking and things with trees, but then it just became redundant like we did, like we did, like yeah we did. We've done well over two d episodes now so and I think even the site with all the kink, says, there's only like to sixty. So if you know more, we'll have to talk. Clearly, I didn't know that. Started watching horn and then I would like, do my pull my own kink out of there? Like? Okay,

what am I seeing in this? What's this? Call? Like that? That's what I did for this the vanillation I found out, Um, this actually comes. It happened in Ireland. Do you have Ireland accent? Uh? Let me get it going? Hold on? Was that kind of all right? No? It wasn't very Irish Monday. It wasn't very good Irish okay, and if by each other? I started the show. So basically, guys, A couple was caught having sex on a grave um and a woman decided to film it. However, to her surprise,

the couple did not seem to mind at all. Um. The woman, who didn't want to be named, filmed the moment in the hope to embarrass the pair and condemned the behavior as a shameful carrier. But maybe they were sucking the person in their trouble and the way the person dad and you think they trying to That's the only way I could see it. Whoa because you wouldn't

suck on your mom or dad. But like, what if you guys you think so you think they were working on somebody they knew grave to have sex with the ghost. How do you pick the grave? Then it could be anybody grave. It's just the great So you just start walking and you're like, you know, I like that birthday. So actually, when I was looking this up, I actually started looking up cemetery sex, and to my surprise, it

is a very real thing. A lot of people get off on it, and it's there's actually a name for this kink, and I don't think we've ever done this kink. The kink is called ki metrophilia, and what it is is the arousal of having sex or being aroused from a grave site. Why are you looking like this? Don't kink shame, wheezy. I mean, honestly, it was not scandalized by at all. No, you aren't surprised, right, how come I king kink shame? If they're not consenting? Who's not consenting?

The goat the dead people? The dead people can't consent, wheezy. My point is, you gotta be alive. I'm sorry. Necrophilia is nuts. Necrophia is nuts and you know necrophilias. You know, Okay, that's sucking nuts and so technically this is justice adjacent. No, technically it is the area. It is the like some HALLOWEENI ship, you know the say is HALLOWEENI ship, this is not HALLOWEENI sorry he didn't dress up with a screen mask. Now I'm not knowing it. I'm not. You're

not feel it. Would you have sex on a grave in? That's okay? No, So how would you choose? Like would y'all choose a certain tunes? So like, wait, you done this before? I have not, but it's on my list. Waits on you on your list on the list. I thought you said you re Puerto Rican. This is a perry, this is white people ship. Nah, this is you. I do like the idea fucking the ghost like I didn't think about that. Wait, all right, but just give us

incubus thing. I can understand. But it's also like feeling close to your own death, like I see that being part of the can. It's just gag a little bit. I feel like you lost your bro Let me think because I understand like goth culture and a lot of like that's what came up for this. I get it. I get it, But for me, I mean, I think it's more like on the grade, like yeah, if you did it, how would you pick the grave? I pick a based on the quote like not the wait do

you like the like a bird? I'm here? We wait? Do you want him to whisper the quote yo ear or something like? Or do you both have to do? You know this is like a consent thing. Do you gotta vibe with the General's not vibe? She said, vibe with tombstone? But like, are you gonna do it like AUGI word type thing like that would make it hotter? You feeling? Oh, that would make it hotter? Bring the Uiji board to the state series want to be like does he love me? Why? Bitch? Why he all right?

I know, I bitch, I knew you love me. You know what? You probably want to pick a black tombstone? Be like Darrell, we're working with Darius Dad he was born in one was toxic and wrong and problematic. It probably is. I'm not gonna lie. I feel like between this and the Bible episode, we're gonna have to put trigger warnings before I got damn episodes. Now why because we talked about dead people and dead people in the Bible. The Bible was worse. Somebody was sucking their own dad. Yeah,

and there was Yeah, I feel like that. I don't know if you know about the Bible because I don't, but you do. Yesterday. That's Dan and I are best friends. We were both like Colts Cold Survivor. Alright, I have a whole episode. We got to have you on profast day. No. I went to lunch yesterday UM with a friend and I was telling him about how we just I was like, Yo, we just did this amazing episode about the Bible and

it was so much I didn't know. And he was like, you talked about that story with a lot and the daughter's sucking their dad. And I was like, bro, you know what's crazy. I got in the car with my nigg because he picked me up and I started. He's like he always asked, so, what were your episodes about? Were they good? And I told him. He was like, was she Muslim? Because that just sounds like some ship

that some people would tell her. And I was like, no, but actually she was an atheist activist at one time, so you know, she read the Bible to you know, defend, defend being atheists. And he was just like, you're probably gonna offend the lot of people with that episode. And I didn't think about it till I started. I was like, no, but she did it so good. He was like, you're probably gonna find a lot of people you say, look

at yeah, look at our cameraman's reactions. But we had we had pastor coryon who was talking about just gaye ship. But that's cool. But let me tell you one thing that she didn't I feel like made it better. Okay, she talked about all these crazy as stories and then talked about like the lesson learned from a lot of them, or how cardinal things were, or how things weren't right.

I don't feel like she used it to weaponize it, because she's like a total Even when I was having the conversation, he was just like, so the Bible is interpreted in so many ways that even the stories that she took verbatim, a lot of time those stories are used, um, what's the word, not hypothetically but to point out hypocrisy. No, they're the stories come they have, they're lying messages for them.

So even though yeah, it said it was raping. There was other messages and I don't know, we don't have the seat. Well we'll know the response by now. See this is a very at that point, you know what I mean, like the underlying messages, because people will make that point that is so like I have a black friend or what about this or that was a long time ago, Like no, they were raping. Just tell me when it talk for sure. That's what That's what was

in the Bible. That's nuts, it is. That's fucking insane. The same with people have a lot of problems with a lot of ship. Well guess we come on here every week and we talk about some disgusting ship and you're telling me that we wrote a woman on who wants to funk on a grave site? That's none of that. I'm about to throw it. Like the first time my mom horsing me and I was like, oh, I'm got

sucked in the asshole. Wait, okay, what you just brought up the bootlehou And that's what it is our hord Dirt today because you actually name yourself the anal sexpert. So for our hord derv which is our sex tips segment, we would like for you to give us an anal tip. I think the most broad and the most successful tip

is that anals should be intentional. Okay, I like that, because Yeah, I've had it just go there by accident because it was slippery, excuse the side, but it was slippery and it just went into that hole instead of my puszal and it hurts so bad to where I was just like, oh my god. So and I actually think that that was one of my first experiences where I didn't, you know, want to ever have anal set. Okay,

So you say that it should be intentional. It should be intentional because it should not just be about the person's givings pleasure and the order, like as a bottom get into. The thing that I try to promote is that the bottom is pleasure. The receiver's pleasure is also like important. So for me to experience pleasure in anal, I have to be emotionally there for it. I have to hygienic lee prep, I have to how I prep. I have to make sure I don't drink coffee that morning.

I'll tell you that. Well, I know how my gay male friends prep, but I don't really hear about way. Didn talk about prep too much rainal no man, I prefer in some in similar ways, like I do eat clean, I do avoid certain foods. What are the food avoid avoid? Like meats, I avoid cheeses, I avoid sauces, damn all light. Yeah, and I do this a lot. So I live a very clean oh tiny but but there's a lot of fiber and things even in vegetables. So what does eating

clean um in terms of antal sex me? Well, in terms like I know my own body and like what's gonna prease what? So for me, like I avoid cheese because that's the no no for me. Meat, like especially red meats are harder to process, so generally that's one to avoid. Or like again like heavy creams, those are pretty mesic. Avoid dairy, Okay, I mean you can eat light,

you cannot eat light. Make sure you're hydrated. But cleaning so also like like an hour do you want to ship before or do you want to ship or you want to hold it? Like do you want to make sure you don't want to hold it at to say? But like okay, I think what I'm trying to say that's clean out you're like a little bit your colon. But like like I'm trying to figure out how I'm Do you want to like go directly before you have sex? Right? Or do you want to like fast that day? That's

what I mean? Do you want to have Well? Look, I train so like I'm also like kind of like a circus act, Like I do something called anal gaping and acrobat You trying to road? Yeah? Wait, what is the biggest thing you fit in your head? Miss it? I can do two point five inches? Right now? What is that? Let's see? What is that? The iPhone? It's about three and a half. So it's like, right, wait, this is the wind? Yeah, so like this is about two and a half. Sorry, that is that what I happened?

This is a big, big one, a little less than the big one. But I can do that a little less than this big one, yo, buddah yeah, oh b So what's the oddest thing you've ever fit in there? Because we actually talked about acrobats, what is the oddest? Yeah, Like, because there's a video within bottles put wine bottles and stuff in there? What have you put? What have you been able to fit into that? Buddhole? So I try to avoid things like that, just because like breaking I

have requests for bats. I'm like, well, the wood can get in like things like that, like you requests, like so what's it? Like? I mean, also did the request coming like the form of an email when they're like booking their sessions? So yeah, like was it like email submission? Like do people like ask for options? Like yeah, I

need to know. I mean when it comes to like only fans are camming, like I will get requests and like part of the empowerment of like only fans is like there's a level of consent, like you don't have to make it. There's no studio director agent um. But I have like toys that are pretty crazy. So I have a speculum like when you go to the doctor writing the people love that, and then you can like put stuff in it like I put a dildo. You can like pour liquids, like what liquids have you poured

in your bootole? I did a scene once where we poured like different houses like from different countries. So you didn't you did it burn? This is not the Puerto Rican that I thought we were Rican. She was like, eat my assiga because guess why, Holy sh it, Okay, so I'm not gonna bro, how have we not heard it all, yet I have never heard of someone when you fart once it feel like does it hurt? Burns little? I mean I could tell stories about how like the

story trip you Drip. Okay, So one of my booze, one of my bibos was at my house and he came alot in my asshole. And then the next morning, like I was just to be in Brooklyn and being in Latino neighborhood. So I was just like working in the park, but I lost antern on my phone. So I went outside of his house to like describe WiFi for a second, and like all the calm just came

out out of your where did it go on? Daniel, like on the wadding outside of his house, just trying to send an email, and I wasna, yeah, I'm squatting, just came out. Were you wearing a skirt? It was just yeah, I was very addressed. It was what color did it come out? What color was it? Yeah? Like was it tan bage? Brown? I was clean? So was it a color? Was it a human brown? Like a little bit but not really Like I was pretty clean

that day. I hadn't really eaten bro but like I hadly had like coming here and like does it feel like a release, Like you felt better? Did you feel like you were stopped somewhere? Like gaping. There's something about gaping that similar to B DSM, where you do like your head feels clear in the next day after like

intense anal. Like really, man, are gonna fucking take this clip and show it to the girl and be like, Yo, you've been trying to meditate and I've been trying to tell you let me holy ship, I mean stuffs talk about that all the time, Like you have to get into mental state when it's like if it's just like an average guy or just if you're used to having anal, it's not that experience. But when you're really like I do anal fistening too, So that is a whole process.

I have to get into headspace. I do have to meditate. I do have to borrow my breeding to get like a male's fists in there, which probably the biggest thing I've had in there. Do you think, I mean, how big is it? Na Ill work up to that? Okay, you train your butt, like do you use dilators or you pass that point? Because I feel like we talk about me but pus and stuff oh, I like, I'm past but plugs. Honestly, if I wear a butt plug, I just use it like because to turn someone on,

like because they like seeing it in there. Okay, the way I prep for anything, you know, like if I'm doing my own training session or at this point, like I just take digging my ass like as long as there's some lube and have done well. Actually, we're not gonna get into decision. We're gonna get in because it's more of it. That was just a horrible decisions squatting outside his house with it. That was a horrible decisions salsa. But I pread for an I prep with my own fist.

That's how I think, Like I can't get risk deep just because of logistics of it. But it's an easy It's like one finger and I do this when I do my performances like one, two, three, Sesame Street. You gotta cute this is we gotta make it cute because we gotta keep looking to be like, I could not get through this episode. We literally talked about Odell always Cat and they were just like I just couldn't get past this reservation in at Dos Caminos tonight. And if

you guys don't know what that is. It's a Mexican restaurant in New York City, and I'm going to think of you the entire time. That's actually compliment. Let's get into the horrible decision. The horrible decision is a b DSM bottom betch. Yes, so you have coined the bottom betch phrase that because it's spelled the Girls episode. You know what I mean? All right? I mean, I'm not trying to make fetch cool, but we're gonna make vetch cool. Um,

So can you explain to us now? Then? What is a bottom in B d S TM specifically for a woman? So bottoming, Like I was looking up some of this just to make sure I was correct on my way here. Bottoming comes from the gay community, and it's this. It started off just to differentiate like the person who's giving and the person's receiving. Right. More recently there's been crossover to bottoming is more related to being submissive, so I could pick a guy, or a guy could technically top

another guy and still be considered a bottom. Bottoming now is like a new age term for everybody. Basically, I mean the term is changing the reason why I claim bottom and most I guess girls have taken the ass or subs don't. Is has to do with my dentri identity. So because I do inhabit male and female bottoming access is my male Okay, that does make sense to me. All Right, I have UM and is there And I guess you just answered too. So there's not really a

difference between bottoming and subbing. But because you do take forms of both, you just can identify as a bottom instead of using the word. I'm saying they're not synonymous. But there's more flexibility within the gay community too for bottoming not to just be the receiver and they're like certain people align it with submission and your role as being sort of the co conspirator in a fantasy then

necessarily the person who takes in the ass. So let me ask you this too, because we've talked about UM and I guess it was my difficulty in wanting to even refer to myself as sub because even my partner now thinks that I'm a great sub and it's I'm like, oh my god, no, I'm a domb. So when it comes to subbing, how much control do you feel like you do have outside of consent when you're receiving, you know,

when you're playing with the toys. How much control do you feel like you have being a bottom and being a sub. I feel like I have more control, which is what we said that as well too, because she identifies as a sub and oftentimes feels more control. And I don't know for me, I guess listening to the word sub I have not been able to. I mean word association like submissive is definitely something that makes you

feel powerless when you hear that word. Um, But I think the main thing about it is if I'm domming some one, which only really had been girls that I've dated m I still felt like I was at their will and not as in control because I was never going to do something they didn't want. But it never

made me feel as in control. I can't even explain it, Like, I don't know, it's maybe it's a personality thing, but like sometimes like I don't necessarily feel very powerful and my voice is loud, or I don't feel very powerful if I'm on stage, like I don't feel like that. Sometimes I feel like I mean, and I've learned that a lot through doing horrible decisions, Like I feel like I'm serving people, you know what I mean, Like my job is to like make you happy because you're here.

And so with subbing, it doesn't make me feel I don't know, I mean with dommy, it doesn't make me feel very like in control and on top. I can't explain. I've never gotten that from doomming. Maybe a few times with like smacking, for i'd say, like a man particularly, maybe I've felt that, but never have I truly felt like I was more controlled than subbing. And I think that a lot of people need to experience it, especially

subbing on your own accord. Right, So, like you've talked about how like you didn't know what was gonna happen, but if there was maybe a night where you picked everything you wanted him to do by your rules, I think then you would more so feel like you took the power back. Well, that's well, and that's what he's told me. He's like, there's been so many times that you actually have been in control and I've been sub

to you and you don't see it as that. But even with me bringing him to the sex club, going to the nude beach, things in which I've introduced him to new things, he's like, you don't even realize it, but but I'm completely submissive to you in those times because You're showing me things that I I don't know. And so it's been those conversations where I'm like, oh, okay,

because I have felt completely submissive. I remember, like maybe early on maybe the third or fourth time we had sex, I felt like I had never been dominated like that ever in sex, and I like just slap the funk out of him just so that I could feel like, shit, I've run something here, and so like we have had that conversation. But yeah, I guess you're right. I guess

you're at like, I don't know. I think I am hung up on the words, which is crazy because specifically in this space, a lot of guests that we have, we've had on don't want to be hung up on titles, and so we do actually like, like you said, even the fluidity of going between sub and bottoming and it being synonymous but not really using those words to mean what we think for them to meet? What are some

other terms that we don't know? Do you do you know any or if any if besides sabbing or bottoming, I mean we could also get into the language of like sadism and massaculine. So like I was in seven master slave dynamic recently, so that meant like we did have check ins regularly, and but there was this general sense of these are the things you do and then I walk into the room or even when we're texting, like you control. So when you were in that seven relationship.

The last time we talked about it was King Sukiki and I referenced the movie The Secretary. Do you were you living together? What was your dynamic? Like how long did you each I mean, or how often did you see each other? So it was Polly, we weren't living together. I saw him once a week and that would be like our date night, but also or like punishment night.

Got it, and it took different forms depending on what was happening in the world, So like while it was stripping, it was based on my outcome stripping and generally how I respected him as elaborate. What is that right? I don't know, use the words what does what does outcome us? Their words the words that I'm just like, wait, wait, the outcome of your stripping? I mean, like how productive was I that week? Okay? Yeah? And he would punish you if you ain't make enough. Yeah, I mean you'll punished.

Maybe felt like it like that was built into it, but there was a sense of like the whole point of the dynamic was to improve me as a person. So anything that was tied to punishment, I love that was tied to self improvement. Okay, yeah, I think too bad to suck them dicks tonight. It's crazy because I'm like having that conversation, like, you know, going to Mexico.

We would have already have been to Mexico, but um, the idea of me if I do decide to do something, making sure I FaceTime him to watch or ask him first, Like he's like, I know, you go mis behave in Mexico And I'm like, no, but I want your dick. You want to do the FaceTime to watch. Yeah, I've actually I've actually shared that with him. I said, listen, if I do anything or I think I'm gonna do anything, I'll be sure to FaceTime you and I really do

it first. This is why FaceTime during her I kind of want to let him know, but then he has to watch. Like that's when the thing if I do something, you have to watch, wait you want that. Yes, I told him, did he want to watch? He got a choice, is what I said, We're gonna do, but not really like this is because I'm only saying that because the watching. I think it's a lot deeper than you think. And

that took me a long time. Think it's the conversation we've been having because even in um at the sex club, the first time we went, he played with two other women, and the last time we went it was just me and him. We were checking with each other, we talked to other people. Yeah, but he's been like, so you don't wanna like he tried to give me the blame too, and he was just here like I know, I know you're away, and someone knows that someone else is there.

Multiple time who were there both of them were later and now that I remember that night, you were definitely getting it in on the other side of the room. But no, but he's been just be careful of vacations. I'm really like, I'm watching. I mean, well, I'm also just because he feels like I'm just so open, like

we've talked about three simes. But I do feel like he feels like my guard is up with him because of course, when we first met, I went on some just so you know, I ain't cutting off on my hose, but I'm just looking for somebody. I was looking for seven replacement when we when we met, and he has

become way more than that. And so the things that I said early on and applying right now because I don't want no other dicks, but he wants me to get me dick like only me speaking from experience with watching, and I can tell you how it went, like now

it's a little different. Right, So the beginning, watching was the first thing we did, like a FaceTime thing, right, And I remember the immediate feeling I had, which was like when it was over, I'm like, well now what like I'm going to bed in their chilling or like that person before. Also then I started thinking more like okay, well, like maybe they just wanted to get over that because it's it's it's awkward for a little bit, like do I sit there the whole time like what's happening? And

then do they want to work without me watching? Like a lot of that was going through my mind and it almost made it uncomfortable because it was like, damn, bitch, I don't want to do what you wanted me to do, right, So now it's a way better dynamic. It's like consent before it happens, and kind of like the aftercall, which

I love doing. I've done it and he's done it, and like I've been in the bed and he's like, I use a little hole bit and I was like I and we'll talk about it and it's fun and like or the next day we'll even do it maybe if it's like super late at night. But the watching is different. It's way more different than you think. And you've had you have multiple when it comes to face I want to know what you're like, what your experience

has been with this. Have you ever like had sex with one of your partners and made another watch either during via FaceTime outside of the sex club we know, like, yeah, you're like a bitch there for the sex club when I was still in a poly kind of suation, or just like an open relationship that we would do snapchaty and you liked, you would send videos, you would send snapchats while it was happening. I think that's better that

not the face time. But I do like the after call because there's this sense of like naturally, I think the cu cold fantasy on the giving or the receiving end, there's something that's a little bit tied to fear, I definitely, or transforming fear into something erotic. Whether it's naturally you or not, it's still tied to fear. So to have that aftercare, I like that. Yeah. I mean I think the other nice part about it too, Like one of the things that I've asked for, I was like, no sleepovers.

And it's so juvenile now that I think about it, because like there's so many late nights in Miami or wherever, likely a lot of vacation ship and you know, he asked me when it's like, what's the sleepover thing to you? I was like, that's like the most vulnerable and sacred thing that I think we do. And that's really why

to me, the sleepover was a big deal. So this thing has called me like eight thirty in the morning and like exhausted, like okay, she left, and I was like okay, now, you know, I mean, it's a weird thing. I don't know, but there's something about being able to go to bed together and talk about it. I have that moment's fun, like whereas before maybe I would call my homegirls and talk about what happened. But now I can call you, so I like that, Yeah, that's it's fun.

It's fun. But I only even bring up the face timing thing because I think, yeah, it is cut holding in a way, it's virtual cut holding, but I think that it's really high end when you're away from each other, and I feel like that would be hard for me to manage, you know, so I think for a first time, I just can't. Yeah, I'm trying to. I'm trying to see what we want because he's definitely like been just saying I know you're going fun out there, and I'm like, no,

maybe i'm not. And then it recently got brought up. I was like, well, if I do, you're gonna watch and he was like and kind of looked like it was exciting that I offered that. So now, like, I guess we have to talk through it. I don't know, I've never done this ship before, not what a nigga like that I've been with. I mean, this is also I faced timed once while someone I was dating was this girl, and I remember, oh no no, no, no, no, no no. It was Old Bay New Year's I was away,

he was in another country. We're both in two different countries, and I remember specifically he was like saying love you and all this stuff and the girls right there in the cabin. She was feeling weird, and I was like, oh my god, like the other person too. I didn't really think of like maybe now she doesn't want to him anymore, like would you feel weird? Well, So on that point, I just like went away with like someone

that I'm seeing and his boyfriend. Oh and there were times that we played together, but there are a lot of times they were like just on the couch, like having their moment and I was there. And so you you've you've mentioned a few times, and I want to ask this because we had I've had recently two bisexual men on the show. Um, can you explain to maybe

our listeners your experience with dating bisexual men. I think I've always been attracted to people both men and women, since I also identify as bisexual, who again have very strong male and female energies. But I've not been comfortable with that and what I've found through an SFW because it's a very there's a very large bisexual subcommunity. Are bisexual men that I really connect with. And of the two people that I'm seeing, one I inhabit a more

male dominant role. In the other one I inhabit a more female submissive role. But I find such a comfort with their sexuality, such a flexibility and shifting in those energies, and just an acceptance of me in the in the time of the way that you said you went somewhere with one of your booze and their boyfriend. Hm, what was the have you had experienced is with male male female threesomes outside of by threesomes and what was the

main difference for you? So, like having sex with two men that don't touch and then you know ones that are intimate as they are. Oh, I've had both. Actually happens a lot of times, Nsfure Like one of my dynamics is like when we're at a party, he like if a guy comes up to me and starts fliring with me, like I can have sex with that guy, like if he's also fucking or like if I'm also sucking his dick. So it's a lot of straight men we have sex with, but like he's part of the chain, okay,

which a lot of men feel okay. With that, do you which do you enjoy more? Do you enjoy where they play with each other or where there's a chain and they are kind of separated by you. I mean I enjoyed double double penetration. You've done double anal? Yeah? How does that work? So we actually had a question in our Atlanta so where a guy said the dicks kept slipping out? How do you keep both dicks in

your ass or it's like they will slip out? But about positioning and you have to be comfortable to readjusting what's the best for you? Do you have to sit on it? Like like how do you do? Yeah? You're like I was, honest to God thinking of it. That's why I was like, uh because for me, what I would think is like, um, I'd be sitting facing forward someone like almost like a girl on top, and then the other one comes behind me. That's right. It's like

you're bent over but you're almost sitting. Well, there's like a guy underneath you who's like in the pussy and then the guy comes in from behind in the assid or like double in either so it's kind of like almost sitting and you like do you come have you had an anal orgasm that way. Oh yeah, well, let me just put out there I come more from anal than I do from anything else, which is part of

the anal sexpertise sense. But I love it, especially when it's in a context of two bisexual men or a man or a male male couple, because I think there's something like I'm really enjoying it just base pleasure, but there's a way in which I my body allows them to connect mm hmm that I feel so much like

compulsion and joy that I can help them. Like I just talked about compersion on uh something on Quimby with our friend Shan Booty, and I was like, you know, compersion is so interesting because, uh, for those of you don't know, compersion is the opposite of jealousy when you're feeling like overwhelming joy for someone that's enjoying pleasure or

in love with someone else. I feel like I'm half right, Like I love and feel amazing when someone that I care about is enjoying sex with someone else, but not necessarily when there's an emotional attachment. But that's interesting because you're saying that you know you're the bond between these two people that makes you feel good our We have a good friend, um dubs. She came on and she's been a unicorn for a long time, and she would always try to explain it to me. I never got it.

She's sometimes I feel like the missing piece, or I love watching the two of them are. Seeing this couple's love makes me feel happy. And there were times where I don't know if necessarily judging, but I would wonder if she enjoyed it because she wasn't having love like she was single, and I'm like, I wonder if that's our way to get it, or if it's really that, you know what I mean. And I'm curious, like do you ever feel emptiness from it if you're not necessarily

a part of the relationship. So it's just on like a two week or so a little more like almost three week vacation with a couple, right, And the trip wasn't about me. I was there just because you know, I love this person. I wanted to spend some time with the person they love, and also I need to get away. So there was a lot involved, but it wasn't about me, and I went knowing that, like, this

is not about my pleasure. I'm gonna be sleeping in my own bed like a lot of times, like I said, they just had sex in the couch next to me. And what I learned was like, after a while, like yeah, I do have my own needs. And I had to find agency in that and say, hey, I need a kiss before bed, or I need a hug in the morning, because you too have your needs even though you're they're

providing for a couple, so there's a space too. I love the experience and for compulsion, but it's also important to advocate for what your needs are and to navigate what the situation is. Come on communication, Did you spend every night alone? They were like one or two nights where like maybe the other person stayed out late, but pretty much the whole time. I ain't gonna hold you.

I want I went on a trip with one of my lovers last summer and I invited three of my friends and I let them know, y'all may or may not have to, you know, sleep with me in my nigga, And they did. And I loved it because my friends, after they joined us in in some play, they left the room and allowed me and him that space, and they were like, all right, we'll see you at the bar and they literally left us and allowed me to, you know, enjoy that space with my lover by myself,

which I appreciate it. Um, before we do get out of here, I do you want to quickly get to the whole meal, and we're gonna make this one quick. Uh. So this was please feel free to give any advice because it is dealing with sugar daddies. Um. So it says, hey, ladies. Back in when I was twenty one, I met a sugar daddy. Quote she put in quotes Grandpa out and about an a t L who I've been dealing with ever since. His dick is trash, but the money and

fun spirit keeps me around. He's also a trash ass nigga who lied about his wife and kids and even when as far as to sleep with my best friend, which eventually calls us to end our nine year friendship. I'm a vengeful person. Sorry, not sorry, I'm a leo. So I always had it in my mind that I would get him back. In May, he planned to take me out to celebrate my graduation, but his business meeting ran over a bit, so instead met him at the

Four Seasons where he was having his meeting. Needless to say, I met some of his colleagues and decided that I would suck one big dick. Willie bed W is what we'll call him. We exchanged numbers and hit it off almost in me did lee. Initially I thought I would handle him like grandpa, hanging around just for money in a good time, until he hit me with that dick. Girl. This man fuck me like no other. This man has double dick, and he's super open, freaky, and his stamina

is unmatched. We even got tickets to the A t L Show, but it was canceled. I know, bitch, I would have loved to meet you. Now, that's what I did not believe. It was really like, I mean, she was really like. We don't know if they we don't know if they got coronavirus from us. Fast forwarding to now, in b d W told me that he had met someone who he was interested in dating, so we decided to stop sucking. I am super chill, so I had stepped back and stopped hitting him up out of respect

for his relationship. He, on the other hand, continued to hit me up and hit me up here and there through I g in a friendly manner. It started to be flirty back in August and I kind of played into it, but not too much. Now he is full on trying to funk, and I am truly confused on what to do. I haven't had sex since him and have no desire to funk with anyone else. I'm too scared to get some weak as dick from somewhere else

and be disappointed. But I want to suck him. But I feel like still dealing with karma from Grandpa being married, and that's why I can't find a man now. Oh my god, I went through this b d W and I keep making plans and then going back on them because we both know it's wrong. What should I do? Suck him and get ten more years of bad karma and feel guilty afterwards, or block his ass and cut ties for good. I'm not gonna lie. I just actually want to mention that this has been something I've been

going through with my current relationship. I think for a long time. Because I've openly had relationships with married men, A part of me felt like, all right, karma gonna come. I just ain't never gonna get a nigga. This is all I should take from what men are given me. So I thought my relationship ship and all my other lovers made sense because that's what I get for fucking with these married men. So I understand where she's coming from with that UM. Also the fact that she was

vengeful in this UM. I think that the way she started it out wasn't away in what she was looking for a relationship. However, because his dick is so good, maybe she does want more from him, which is why she decided to pull back. He started dating, you know what I mean. So I think that if you can get in your mind that you can still enjoy this person without being in a relationship with him, then go

for it. But if you genuinely want something deeper with this person, I would say cut ties right now, because it's you're just gonna be teasing yourself and making yourself feel more bad for the things that you feel. Like

karma has come and you know written do it. I do think karma is a real thing, like I think, I mean, you may have paid hers in other ways, they will never know, Like I think my first relationship with someone who was me and this is really why I don't ever want to sleep but a married man. The first man I really fell in love with was

married and I genuinely didn't know. And then when he told me, I was trying to break up with him, and he ended up getting a divorced and we were together for two years after that, and I remember feeling guilty the whole time. Um, true, I wasn't the reason they divorced, right, Like, I mean, I'm sure it's just the push over the edge for him. They were already separated at the time, which is what made it so

easy to date me. But I think back to it all the time, and I'm like, I was young, but also I keep letting it happen, Like I could have taken myself out of the equation, but I stayed right. And to me, that selfishness is what really made a lot of the relationships difficult for me that I had, or made love troubling to find and different ships, Like I just had a lot of issues with relationships, and I always believed it was the karma. I think that

ship is real. I feel like it's just I don't know, And even if it's not necessarily real, you'll manifest it in some way. Will be too pessimistic about a relationship because we need we fucked someone over, or when you feel that guilty you of something's wrong, I think you do have to let it go. I agree, yeah, I mean, I also believe in Carmen, you've seen your life, but I don't think that should let you not realize your full desires or you're full. I agree with that too absolutely,

and which I desire cash. Yeah, it's weird because there's this thing about money in my head, like when it comes to a sex workers right where I'm always just like, well, that's different. I don't know why it's so different, but to me, but for me, I think the emotional aspect of cheating and enabling someone to cheat, that's that's married. That makes it more fucked up, especially when you're with

someone that may ultimately one relationship. When it is sex workers, I'm like, okay, well you get paid, but a job, That's what I said. I mean, if if I don't think drug dealers are wrong because they serve the fiends, like I think that's their job. That to me, if you are engaging in sexual activity for money, whether you want to call it a sugar daddy or even in my case, I've come on here and said all the

married men I financially gained from. So if it sounds better or in my mind makes me feel like, okay, maybe karma won't come to me because I enacted as a sex worker, then okay, you know what I mean, Um, I don't. I don't think that me dealing with married men in the capacity that I did was barely any different than a sex worker. I engaged in those relationships for a financial game, So I mean, I'm not gonna

lie part of it. Yes, part of it was wrong, but a part of it does make me feel like, Okay, well, I was providing a service. It was a job, you know what I mean. Like, so will karma actually come back for me? I think it was more so how I valued myself and what I felt like I deserved from men because I engaged in these relationships. So, and that's what I'm saying, Where you deserve doesn't change how life is gonna play out, food is gonna play off

for you. And if anything, that's part of the karma itself. It's like the guilt that eats you. Yeah it is, And I think that that's what it is. I think just the guilt and how I decided to continue moving No, so you're completely right. Um, Dia, thank you for joining us. Can you let us know where our followers may be able to follow you? I know you have your Instagram, your Twitter and your only fans. Go ahead and plug that and it will be in the description Twitter is

at the bottom bitch dot com. Only fans that dare Macia, dare Dia, dare so d a y a husband eater y. Well, guys, thank you so much for tuning into another episode of Horrible Decisions. Make sure to stay tuned. We are leaving you with a five minute bonus clip from our patreon. That's right. If you're all cut up on horrible Decisions, make sure that you go on over to patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions and become a motherfucking patron. Hope.

That's right, Um, and thank you once again for tuning into another episode of Horror Decisions by ladies. I love everything you do. I just found something out. I'm freaking out. I have no clue what to do. I was just informed by my boyfriend that is ex has herpes and did while they were together. She wasn't having an outbreak then they never fully had sex. I don't know what the funk that means. But I know your episode with Ella, that's still possible to even get it then, and it's

extremely common. So I'm not upset over the possibility that have her I have her pies. I'm piste off that I was just informed of this almost a year into our relationship. He's never been tested for it or an STD in general. It was dumb and not like me to still have sex with him after that, but I immediately got tested on my own. But as discussed on

Ella's episode, they don't test for her pies. Not caring about your own sexual health is one thing, but I feel like not caring about your partner's sexual health is another. I don't care if I have it, like I said, but I just feel very betrayed and disrespected. I'm not sure what to do. He knows I'm mad at him, but with dumping him be over dramatic. I feel like hiding something is kind of a deal breaker. Please help me. I'm a patron. You can read this on there too.

Um So, she mentioned that she got tested, but really realize that they don't test for her bees. That's only because you have to just ask, so they do test you for her bees. If you go in for an STD screening, however, you have to ask for them to include her pies. So she's just saying like she got tested after but but like, like you know, it's sometimes you've got to us story, so just go back and requested.

I think the interesting thing is is dumping him over gramatic because she said, it's not about the herpes, it's about um the deal breaker from hiding something. I'll be honest with you, and I surprised I'm even saying this, but I don't even know if he realized he was hiding something. And here's why. If a year later he told you, I yes, Like, I think here's the the interesting thing. You can be mad that he didn't care enough about your health because that is something that's super

important that people don't give a funk about. Right, People care about themselves and people are worried about their own ship. Not everyone is just conci conscientious about others around them. That's why people voted for Trump. Right, that's like just a more over larger issue. People are not selfless like they need to be. That is an issue for you. Let that be the issue for you. But if he

eventually told you. He probably never realized that he was quote unquote lying right, So I don't know if dumping him for that would be over dramatic. I think dumping him should be because you feel like he doesn't care about that as much more than he hit it, because I don't know if he did it. I think that this would be a time for you both to talk about your sexual health and being that he never went and got tested. To me, there's nothing technically wrong with

him not disclosing the health of someone else. I think that this is something to where you can both take as a learning lesson. But the fact that he didn't disclose something that could be very private to someone else uh.

To me, it's more so the fact that he never thought the need to go and get tested, which means he may not see herpies as a big deal, which means the two of you may need to open up about your views on sexual health as it pertains to as TDS, and this could be the time to where you both go and get tested together, or you find or you find out from him why herpies isn't a

big deal to him. Maybe he feels like it's not that big of a deal as long as you don't get outbreaks, or maybe he feels like how or maybe he feels like so many people in the world. I mean, we've talked about it even on the episode. Eighty percent of people have have some form of herpie simplex. Of course, there's the one on your mouth and the one on your genitals, but also herpies can can end up in any moist area on your body. You can get hertpies

and you're goddamn arn't pit. So I think that it's important for you, guys to discuss your views on sexually transmitted disease and your sexual health and not use this as a time to to to badger him or or punish him by breaking up with him. But this is a chance for you to educate him and maybe see where his views are on this. That's a really important thing, is that he may not just understand and um, and

everything is a learning moment and a teaching woman. Excuse me, And when it happens like this, especially if he told you a year later, it doesn't sound like a lie. Um. Also, bitch, what has never fully had sex? Because you look white? Zoe? And I wonder if this is some white people, because when white people say we hooked up, I'm like, what that means. I don't know what hooked up means. Do you know what it means, Mandy, because I don't hooked

up without sex. Maybe just make people be like, yeah, we hooked up once, and you're like, what I'm saying hooking hooking up the sex. That's what I thought, so what I'm looking up. But hooking up is the same way we talked about dating, meaning something depending on the person or up I mean, but we also say oral sex is sex, So my nigga, it's still sex. Okay, Well, maybe that's what she means they her fully had sex.

When she said they'd never fully had sex, that made me think to myself, they drop or played an or