Ep 113: Starting over with self love feat Liz Goldwyn

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ship because of support the show. You guys are always like, oh yeah, why don't you do longer episodes? Why don't you have this game either? We are guests from here is from l A. We had to fly this pitch all the way, so keep buying us ads and you got miles because I know who you ain't put it out to business account absolutely anyway, five zero, Thank you guys, and let's get on with the show. So hally, y'all, what's up is Monday? Y'all? Love? I think we are

making people love Mondays now. I ain't even gonna hold you Monday suppressing as Yeah, they'd be excited when they hear our voices. So welcome you'all to another episode of Horrible Decisions that the girl, Mandy Be, I'm Wheezy and we have a special guest. Can you introduce yourself? Hi, I'm Liz Goldwyn and I am the founder of the sex Ed. I need to add something behind be because I like to have a full name, like dang, just be, I'm Liz gold What do I say? I know you

don't start saying. We're also not we don't have as many accolades, so maybe that's why we don't say her name. I don't know. I mean, you're accountant. That's pretty much our own accolades to the show. Um. So I met Liz when I went to a porn pant Porn and Pleasure with Eric lest I talked about that all the time, and I was like so enamored just seeing like two women up there talking about you know, and both of you look so poised, and you know, Eric was verry.

I'm not even gonna hold you. I feel like I gotta speak a little during. Basically, what she's saying is we're ghetto, you know. I was just like, damn, this is so dope. And I knew who Eric LLSS was and I never had heard of you before. And then when you talked about directing and all the things that you've done, and you were just very pro women, and I felt like it would be perfect fresh show. Not only did she got a blue checkmark, that's right, that's right,

it is verified. But I listened to one of your episodes where I don't know if it was a man I wanted teaching blow drop tricks, blue paget, yeah, and giving falacio and lingus. Actually, we have yet to do a kind of lingus one that's very important. People don't. I've actually had people tell me before like that when they were teenage boys, they would google how to you know, how to give proper, proper head for women. I'm like, well, let's see, there's a two hour video of it on

portn Hub because I looked it up before. Now did you want to? I mean, but here's the thing, Like doesn't everyone like the same way with men? A lot men like to receive head in different ways. There's not really one way to perform kind of ling it like give. I mean, there's no one way to do any now. But it's actually right, right, but we but just like there's good job tips like actually sucking or being able to twisting motions that there were some good tips in

there too, especially I think for women. For me, I got a laby a massage and I talked about it all the time on the show because it was so amazing. When I watched the How To Eat Pussy thing, he touched the lips a lot, and the things people forget to do. They just like either go right on your clip or they just start sticking fingers in there and there's not like this nice suave movement to it that I want. But we can all learn. But it's a good video. But that episode, Holy Shit, is one of

our more popular episodes. I will, I mean it was, and you did a very good job asking like so exactly how and she, I mean she broke because what I liked to do. What the whole concept of what we're doing with the sex said is even on our site when we have articles like anal sex one oh one or orgasm breathing, which I know you want to get to our period sex is I try to imagine.

I mean, now you're getting really happy with it. You just said that really proudly, and I'm just like, I mean, I love it and I'm always super horny, like right before my period when I'm on my period. It's a personal thing. But like I like to think that we're not talking to people who necessarily have ever done any of this before. Like you can't assume that people are There's no such thing really as being an expert in sex.

We're all trying to figure it out. We're all like on this evolving learning curve, right, and like what turns you on now might be totally different in six months, six years. I mean, I hope that I'm super freaky when I'm eighty, that I'm doing things that I'm not doing now, so you keep I made my mom, Actually, my mother edited our anal sex one oh one essay and she's like, I don't know what, honey, I've never

had anal sex. I'm like, that's great, because I want this to read like real one oh one in the person who wrote it was an expert, and so she is me to edit back and she's like, you know, you talk about at the end of the article talks about poo and does it hurt, and like, I feel like you got to mention that right up top, which was a great tip. And what's crazy is we were just in Miami and that was one of the questions a woman like asking how she can go through with

having anal sex and so we all gave anal sex tips. Um, but you keep mentioning the sex ed. I want our listeners to know that is the name of your podcast. It's it's our it's our podcast, but it's also our website is the sex Said dot Com. And we do. We have essays written by experts, We do live talks and events. I actually bought the domain names in two thousand eight. I was gonna say no one else own it. I owned the sex Said and I owned the Sex Said show dot Com, both of them. Yeah. I've been

in this game a long time. My first job was at Planned Parents Who when I was thirteen, working in the clinic, and I answered phones um. And then I did peer education, and then I helped organized their media librarys. This is like pre Google, so people will come in and check out like books and vhs, not even DVDs, but vhs and pamphlets. Um. And then I wrote. I wrote two books about sexuality, the first one about burlesque and the advent of strip tease. We have yet to

do an episode on that. I want. I mean when she when I when I talked to those like what what can we talk about? And she mentioned burlesque. I just felt like the topic for today's episode is like starting over again and just getting back to yourself. And I feel like you've lived a lot of life, especially to have been married. That's really important even if someone's not married right now. But it's just a break up. How do I reinvent myself? How do I get back

out there? The number one question? I feel like after their shows, I totally had to do that. I mean I met my ex husband when I was eighteen, and I really struggled when we got married. I really you know, that whole thing like who am I? What's my identity? And even though I was like I had a career, I had, you know, I was, you know, writing books, I had made a film, it's sold it to HBO, also on bur lesque, all of a sudden I had this fear that like, oh, I'm just going to be

a wife. Is that what people are going to look at me? As as I was young, no one else was married, and and you know, we were together for thirteen years and you're a very different person from eighteen to thirty, and I wife wasn't even anything I knew about your identity. I just knew boss witch Li is all this list of ship that like when you google you that you find and it's crazy that someone like you could have thought that. But you know what, it made me kind of focus on being a boss bitch

because I was like not going to bart. I mean, I'm at stoner and always have been. So I brought my vey, have my vade pen in my bag. Yeah. Big On cannabis, we do a lot of cannabis on our site, Cannada the neuroscience. Yeah, he's over there being like, yeah, neuroscignce my my boyfriend actually is in cannabis too. No, but yeah, can neuroscience of cannabis and cannabis and sex because first of all, alcohol, we know the science alcohol and consent. We don't know the song we do because

we publish it. We published it. We do. Alcohol is definitely like it's much better for your body right to use cannabis. And it also when it comes to consent and boundaries people, there's a lot more around assault and rape with alcohol. And then can't what are you gonna do? Like you're gonna get high and you're gonna get tired and you know you're gonna eat a snack or I

can't feel you're not going to get aggressive. Well, I had edibles and I actually did it so that my mind could be at ease and so that I didn't think of all the horsh things I was about to do. But but yeah, I actually had like one of my male male three male male female threesomes on edibles and I was gone, honey, I was in the stars. Like he like his friends started well at one point, I didn't even know which one I was, but like seriously, but like the friend like started making me squirt and

I was just like whoa, what's going on? Who's doing that? And then my guy was like what you're doing? But it was feeling good but he didn't really know. But yeah, gotta know your dosing. Yeah, well I did. It was one gubby bear. I should have had a leg a quarter had a quarter in California where I live, Like we've got sensories and different. I mean it is That's why I don't smoke weed with my West Coast friend and they're like, we gotta get you hind and I'm like, I, no,

you don't. Well we reusally got some icebreakers that we like to do with our guests, and this is kind of just to open you up, not literally, but just to kind of, you know, get you on your little horrible decisions vibe. Okay, So first one, I haven't pulled up right here. When is the last time you came? If solo? What were you watching slash thinking about the last time I came this week? Uh? Was it is today? Yeah?

Like I don't know the day before yesterday, the day before yesterday, because I haven't I haven't been like home all day. But I really do think like it's great to masturbate before like you have a big meeting. I mean date for sure, if you're at all. But like I think I'm a big believer in orgasm manifesting. Oh my god. We had Kristen sal Yeah. She she wrote

the book which is feminist LS. So we had her on and she was like, oh, talking about sex magic and she's like, you've got to get some greenery if you want money, and think about it. I was like, damn you can. Yeah, you can masturbate an orgasm for financials. I mean you can visualize a color, you can visualize something you want the same way that I don't know if you guys do altars at all ever, like burn candles? Yeah, like have an altar in your house where you like

I have a small one. Yeah, maybe you have like a picture, you know, whatever it is that you can make your own. But yeah, I do think like masturbation is really so you didn't before a meeting? What did you were you watch? I actually well know that my last quarter as I was with my boyfriend. But I do think, I do think I do. I am a big,

big fan of like masturbating before big business meetings. I've been doing it before interviews, like since we had her, like I've been having small interviews for like little casting things, and I just tried to fund myself and think, you know, maybe the pheromones are out there, they're like booking me for Hoshan anyway. But it relaxed, It relaxes you, and I puts you in touch with your own power. So well, and I do I masturbate um every time, like I

go to sleep. But the last time I came was hot today there my lunch break, bitch green As was up here. You know, I just sucked him in Miami. So I felt like he had to like redeem himself a little bit. Um. So he hit me and he was like, I'm in New York. I say, dick your lunch bread. Literally it was amazing. My friend said, I was the best hope. Forty minutes, Bro got it to him in midtown. But Big came back to motherfucking office and our heads time to pick up some motherfucking lunch.

But it was so well, does anyone else use your computer? No, it's my computer with my monitor, thank thank you, But no, I did have to, like and my bun almost came off because I ain't got bobby pins, so this is really like a loose bun. And I had to put a bun on today because I thought we was gonna have video, but Benson motherfucking as at home. Sorry guys, sorry lack of video today. We're gonna, you know, post a picture of how cute Whiz is. Yeah, but it

was great. Um, good for you, yeah he um. He let me know he's in town to see a doctor or whatever. So it's just like an in and out he leaves tonight. No, it's not, you know, he's athletic. Um. I'm actually impressed that you managed to fit the lunch in too, so I know I'm right like I did he I did bring the lunch back to my desk.

I didn't have no, we didn't have time for this, so I literally walked in and so what's crazy is we still kind of did to catch up, but you know, I just saw him in Miami, so there was not much to catch up on. Except when I walked to the room, I was like, you ain't gonna pull that ship you did in Miami? Are we doing? Bro? He like he been, He's been in Miami for the off season, so, bitch, we went through three condoms but he didn't come. So then he like had me sucking his dick just for

too long. Bro, I said, sir, I have a live show. I need my jaw. And it was just like I'd never I haven't sucked dick with an attitude in a long as time, bitch, I was. I had the biggest attitude sucking. I was like, I was like, Nigga, is you gonna come or I ain't gonna keep sucking his dick Like I was just angry sucking a dick. So I like, as we're walking around the room, I'm like, you ain't gonna pull that ship? Did you last time? He asked how the show was? So, while we're talking

after having taking did it was so great? This pretty much? And then we laid on the bed, I started sucking and he got really hard, and then we sucked and I he's he's comparable ton stick. So I come with penetration with him like almost every time we So I had two orgasms during my lunch break and it was amazing. So what about you? You're making me like really horny right now. I wonder if that's what would be talking

about while they be at work. Oh my god, Me and Mandy were playing like porn into the fucking mic. This girl was like, I couldn't even take it anymore. I kind of feel bad, but they choose to listen to this at their jobs. It's not our fucking you should ride do it on the ride home. So whatever, when the last time you? Or I've had so many threesomes this past week that um with the same two people.

By the way, I'll get into that in another show because it's definitely a story, but I'm ovulating this week. I cannot stop sucking myself, like it's so insane. We're all in this group chat right, and everybody's like out on their post vacation blues, like we all feel like shit, you know what I mean, because we've been together and cuddling, and like he's like, damn, I woke up alone and like I looked to laugh at listen the right she's alone, and so like I can't stop mastering it. Probably three

times a day. I mean maybe a little bit more. I'm not gonna front. But even when I pull up the porn, now I look, I have to look up passionate threesome and then you you type in passionate bro, because I have to imagine what I have emotional passionate threesome. An here I go. I just I just want gang bang. I normally want gang bang, but I have to emulate. So now it's not even good enough. Now I have to look at the pictures of both of them and the small little videos we made, and I have to

go think about it and then master me. I can't look at porn right now because the sex I had was so good, probably the best sex I've ever had, that porn doesn't work anymore. So I came with an attitude basically, you suck dick with an attitude. I came with an attitude. You were probably fine. I don't want. I don't want. I mean, I watch a lot of porn for work for research, like for a long time, so I don't really watch it in my personal life.

Really can you without it? They don't need it. I don't know I need any I can't masturbate it all without porn. I'm but I'm visual. I don't think my imagination is there all the way. What do you think about everything? Anything? I just I guess it's like, you know, I have I feel like all day long and looking at so much stuff for work that like at a certain point I get over sat saturated and I just like it's almost like it becomes work. So it's like

not sexy sexy to me. But like I'll read erotica sometimes, or like I don't read. I love. We have a whole section on our website. We have a whole bookshelf section. Actually it was like all sorts of things, like all sorts of books around sex, health, consciousness, erotica. Yeah, I love, big, big fan of erotica. Well, speaking of that, we have another little game it's called this or That, So yeah, this is all for you. So vibrator or your hand. I gotta go with a vibrator. Yeah, just because I

love my lil I love. I'm a big Lielo fanfully, so they are very expensive, but I've had only I've had too lelos, like only two don't wear out over like the last like you have a section couple. The last nine years, I gets sent a ton of vibrators and those are like my standby of the not I was telling us advertising. But also, you know, you gotta

be really careful. We have another thing on our site about sex toy safety because a lot of the sex toy companies that they're using like toxic plastics on the vibrators and they don't clean, they don't clean. Yeah, I know, you gotta be really really careful about what you put Regina. Alright, so male male female threesome or female female male threesome. You know, I'm really a big fan of homeorotic porn actually in the room. Yes, if I'm going to watch porn,

I probably that's what it gay me. So just Dick's galoy like bisexual threesome and that normally comes with that is sex. Oh my god, bisexual male milk when it's like a sixty nine with a guy and a girl, right, and then that guy's sucking her and then like the other one sexist dick. Yeah, I really like that too. Well, clearly I think I've said that. Okay, So a little bit of b DSM, blind foe or handcuffs, I like, um, what do I have a blindfold? Um? Like a little

whip of like a nice little suede whip. I've been tied up. I've been tied up professionally too, by one of my really close friends who's one of the best like mistresses of the ropes in the world. She has a salon and parents around, Like, I mean it took hours, yeah, elaborate hours to tie you. Yeah, because like it's a whole thing. Like no, I mean we did it was like in a hotel room. Yeah, and then she put me like I wanted to. I really want to do it with her to see, like what did I like?

What do I don't like? Okay, so I don't like being hog tied. That wasn't me, Like, yeah, I got really claustrophobic. But it was super interesting because she kept on saying to me, remember your breathing remember your yoga, remember your meditation the whole time, which I hadn't really got acted. No, it's really important to like be in your body, to really be in your body, get out of your head. Yeah yeah, well you can't move, you're being confined. And she you know, there's all the knots

in the back. She's so I'm in this sort of elaborate braided corset especially, and everything meets and the small on my back and then it's like, you know, a long cord and she's holding it. And at the end of what was probably like four hours, she was like, I was like, okay, I need to get out of this now. And she was like, well, let me just do one thing with you. And you know that game when your kid trust forwards. She was like to fall forwards. So I fell forwards, but she's holding me, so I

you know, I'm suspended, like just above the ground. And it was such a like I felt so safe. I felt. And she works a lot with women, especially who are dealing with like reclaiming their bodies or sexual assault, and I was like, it was like, you know how sometimes you need to walk into someone else's shoes to understand. I really needed to do that to be like, oh, I totally get it. Of course, I feel so protected and safe and like in your signed and you feel like, yeah,

I feel like I felt us. Imagine if someone took hours in you and you're like, oh, I get it, and then yeah, and then you have ghost ropes. I definitely feel like you have like ghost yeah, but no, also you just feel you feel like you feel like you haven't an episode on Bondage. I got a guy never trying to get thought about that, we gotta do it. I never thought about that either. Just you finally get it off after hours, you can still feel it. That's

like when I wear a wig. I'm gonna say, that's like how when like I get fun real good and like my stomach, I still feel like the dick in my stomach. That's how I was when on my lunchbreak. But that's how I love that. And then you went back to your spreadsheet, read those legs and that excel. Well, I'm really happy. So every episode we have this segment called Vanilla Ship, and bitch, this is a good one. I don't even gonna hold you. I just read the title.

So the title for this week's Vanilla Ship is sex on first date that is important if you a serious relationship. I slept with my ex husband on the first day all of my boyfriends my boyfriendst UK article Yes so it's from mirror Um dot c O dot UK. Elicit Encounters dot com, the UK's leading dating site for married people, has shared its staggering research into sex on first dates. If you want a serious relationship, sex on the first date,

It's crucial. According to new research, more than a third of men found love after sleeping with their partner on the first day, more than the third and more than accountant more than a third, no, one third more than it ship. It is whole like three sex and she can do your talk um. Fifties six percent of women have had sex with their partner after the first date. The study highlights it has led to a proper relationship

for thirty six percent of women and of men. But women are slightly more weary than men of partners who want to jump into bed straight away. One in six women you want to do that? No, I'm not gonna that. They would think less of someone if they had sex on the first night, compared to eleven percent of men, which is crazy because I think men definitely care more if you have sex with them on the first night. So these these are um for you guys wanting to know.

More than two thousand people were surveyed for this research. I was about to ask that I was about people. I started reading I don't want to read it, and when my old co workers gave it to me, farah why men love bitches? And I was like, oh, this but it has so many like old ideals in there

that I found two game playing. There's a section on this book about making a man waiting is like going to grow his rest Steve Harvey, like growing that respect for you, and like the timeline of it, and like when you say no for the first time, make sure it's when they really wanted. And I was like, a part of me feels like this is really asinine because

I don't know. I think it's old fashioned. And also, don't you want to know what the sex is like, because if it's bad, it's bad, then like, damn, you're a great person. Now you're so nice. This is why people fuck the poor boy because they waited too long where they already loved you. No, I can't be me like, yeah, see, well, I think it's also important that that is for maybe women like us or a lot of our women listeners,

where sex is an important factor for them. I've met so many people like and I've even had friends where they don't understand how I can fox so much, or how casual sex happens with me, or how I can have sex with someone that I'm not even emotionally tied to like stuff like that. But it's because I genuinely

like sex. So I think for maybe those individuals where they can be with someone and have bad sex at the same time, maybe having sex on the first night doesn't matter to them as much as the would us.

But you know, I'm like very I have a high sex drive, but I actually am we're careful, like I've I've been in an anogamous relationship, I was an anogamous marriage, and I'm I'm very careful about energy, right, Like if I make people take off their shoes before they come into my house because not because of dirt, because of the energy that you're bringing in from from the street. Right. So if I am that crazy about shoes, like, I'm

being even crazier about anything penetrating me. So I take a few dates until I find find that we're on the same synergy and we have that connection together, and if we don't, I don't think I know at the first date. All the time I can, but I'm not sure. And I think it's because I'm so like outgoing or like so extroverted that I could like anybody. That's why it takes me a few dates to see if we're really really don't you usually like And I think we

often ignore this, especially women. We have a gut intuition about things or people, right, don't you immediately sort of feel something if something's off, feel it in your gut, and you know, we are taught to ignore that feeling like we're you know, we even like if they if they pull people who are serial rapists or Cereal Coast. When you when you when people you know to the victim profiling, they always say, well, there was something in my head that told me it was weird, but egg nortics,

I didn't want to be rude. I didn't want to be rude. I didn't want to be impolite. But usually you kind of know instinctually things about people like absolutely energetically, So I go by that. It's only been a couple of times of the first date. But yeah, they dig energy. I'm feeling it. They your you know, well, I don't know if I want a big vagina, Why don't you want big vagina energy TV type vagina energy tight? I can't have a type vagina I mean big vagina energy.

I didn't necessarily I was like, yeah, well, yeah that too. I don't know. We go sex in the City episode when she told the doctor she's like, your penis is just too small. He was like, did you ever think your vagina was too big? Yeah? Now I'm really big

on on energy. So it's it's weird though, like because I don't know what dating which I don't even know what how what dating is now, especially with doing either the profiles or I'm I am revisiting a lot of past relationships and seeing if because we're in different spaces now, if maybe the time is right for us to build moving forward. So I mean with me and those are people, A lot of those people are people that I've slept with,

like on the first night. I know that my last boyfriend I slept with on the first night and I was talking to his brother first and it still worked out. So I feel like with past relationships, the only reason I can't jump back in them is because I sometimes harbor those same feelings like maybe I'll get over that moment, but it's like you still did that to me, Like am I going to ever be able to get over it?

I feel like new relationships it's a clean slate, like I'm not the person where you have to earn my trust. I'm that person that you start here and then you can lose it, like where some people you need to build it up, like they don't trust you at all and it takes time. Okay, So I'm the opposite. So that's why if I've already lost it, it's like I'm getting Yeah, it's hard. They say that women take like an oven take a while to heat up, but once

we're off, that should have shut down. I believe that ship it's see and I guess it's just weird for me because with friendships with sexual partners, with past relationships, like I don't really end badly with many people like all to end bad, but I mean we just lose connect like you know, lose us talking or I have a lot going on so now we stopped talking, or

maybe they get into something like, I don't know. I feel like we've just always pulled away because of what we both have going on in our lives, and then later we find ourselves in each other's dance again, I mean each other's You have the eyes. This girl on our show the last show we had, she was like, what do I do if I'm like I broke up with my boyfriend. I'm trying to bring all my old holds back? Like, what do I do? Man? He was like,

just send the eyes, just next questions. I felt so bad that girls like, okay, it does swear it works. They see them eyes, they know what's up. I don't know. A new picture of my braids and someone sent me the eyes and I was like, they look like mine from the d C show. That's cool. I feel like I inspired you their box braids. Well, I'm just saying they're not trying O braids relaxed anyway. He literally sent

me the eyes. This guy used to funk and I wrote back in all caps, No, what's kick in the Week? Starry King in the Week? For you listeners that may have never listened, or Liz, if you're not sure what it is, our kink is this basically big word that week. This wuldn't even be big hole. No, I know how to say this one. But it's also because that's right. This is only the first episode we're recording, so this

is the problem. I mess up words all the time, but it's because I'm tired, and I used that we record after I do a long day of work on spreadsheet and counting and apparently dick sucking during my LUs break. Um. So the kick of the week for this week is this is so you would pick this, um, it's high growth filia. Do you want to guess what high grophilia means? Because you're smart? High growth felia? I was. I mean, immediately my mind goes to weed and hydroponics, So I'm

gonna I don't know this guy. But this is also known as the liquid fetish. And no, guys, this is not where Weezy wants to be drowned. Um. If I said one time that I thought it would be hot if a guy maybe put my face in water a little bit, and now this bitch tells the whole world TV that I want to be fucking drowned. So this is actually funny because and I want to know if you have any stories about this, but um, this fetish is if you would rather avoid the wet spot on

the bed, then this kink probably isn't for you. Mess fetish this enjoy the mess created by sexual fluids, both male and female fluid. They may use the fluids as loops to drink, to paint on their partners bodies, or passing it back and forth orally or snowballing. Um. I guess another part of this would be like people who like to actually after they have sex and the sheets are all wet, they like to lay on the moist or wet sheets that it can't be avoided. Right, Sometimes

you're just like some bedsheet pulp. I mean I have to write that down at the episode. Well, I know you like me and like liquids. Oh, you know, like a boo cocky horr. Not that I've done it. See that sounded real, King Shamy, I'm like, I do it, but I'm like obsessed. I'm a fucking calm horror. I

love that ship. A matter of fact, I'm gonna just tell you guys before because I know we didn't do the threesome episode yet, so they were fucking missionary, right, and I was sitting on her face and me and him are making out, and I fucking came right because I'm like watching them, and I guess he came watching me so right. When he did, he like takes my

hair and like made me get it. I'm so fucking it was like real, this is why I can't masturbate to any other porn now, but like my own thoughts then I had to get it, and like my mouth was it was like dripping all over me. Bro. It was so fucking good in her. And I have been sucking for years, right, him and I just started sucking like last six months, and you know, I've been sucking her for so long and she has I've never seen her with a guy. She's never seen me with a guy.

And I'm like, oh, can I like pass it back and forth? It's like so much because we've never talked about it. Y'all did all of this without having We talked all the time about having these conversations about her and I didn't talk about one moment. We had an entire threesome episode. Wheezy, I need you to practice with the funk you preach. Because we talked about having conversations and guidelines and this is what we talked about. I

sent to the long text. I was like, everybody put your thumbs up, her thumbs down in the group chat, blindfold, handcuffs, banking, spitting um, all kinds of ship like that. I said, spit or swallow. She was like, I don't like spitting it. I'll only swallow. I was like, okay, like text, yeah, like we're both groups like going back and front millennials.

It was fun actually, so we all live in different places, so you know, they would send their thumbs up and make a new suggestion and like, I really enjoyed doing it, but this is not possible for you that right, So the only thing I guess I forgot to say is like come swapping. It just didn't come to my mind. So right when it was in my mouth and it was kind of full, I was like ribble and then they started talking to each other, but hot it. I was like, okay, so's I guess that window is gone.

I'll just swallow it. But it was my mouth for like a good forty five seconds. But I was just kind of sitting there like looking like a fish. But you know, whatever, I'll take it. So I only picked this like with fetish because when I was watching boot Cockey recently, I like love looking it up. I found like the fake boot Cockey. Have you ever seen this? It's so disgusting. It's like basically these huge tubes of like come and it like looks super fake and it's

just like white and gooey. It looks like slime from Nickelodeon, but white. And the girls are like their eyes are covered in it and they're like rolling all over the ground. There's like tarp on the floor. And I was like, yo, like this is just not fun. Get there. I don't want I don't want to tell you you don't want to see her search history, but people in the comments because every time I look at something weird, I'm like, I gotta see what people think of this ship. And

they're so fucking into it. They're like fucking drown me and come and like that whole drowning income thing is how you get there? Okay, I guess. I mean it's gonna be a beauty product pretty soon. Yeah. There's already like beauty products that are like your own blood. You know, they have all the vampire Rihanna has the lip glass, diamond milk and looks like m Yeah, sparkly cub I think I think that's going to be the next big thing. Well, they do have and hair products. Yeah, okay, so semans

for facials for sure. But if I that, I mean for mask you put you like so you'll just like put semen on your face. I mean you've done it on my teeson. It's very drying. It's very drying. It's like, you know, because my pores are huge right here. That's what the institutions. Great skin, but not like put some semen on there. I mean they didn't say that. I'm not for that fucking tube. Me need the bucket. I'd like to spend my money. If it's a lot of

money on vacations, food and drugs. That's I'm not doing it with sucking beauty products. No, I think you can make your own too, Yeah, I mean maybe not with semen if that's that's what you're like, some full fat Greek yogurt and honey and if my friends days, there's got to be a recipe for this ship, a recipe for preventing wrinkles. The sperm makes skin glow, according to a new study that a man probably did it's good

for the skin. The proteins and nutrients present in sperm can make your face glow and loosen and lighten those nasty looking scars. See, that's why I had it on my nick bit. You know, I was, please tell us the story while I blow my nose. No, no, I'm not gonna s No, it's just a pearl necklace. Mind you. It's with the same guy who's dick I suck during lunch today. It's not so Anyways, Basically, I fucked a guy really drunk, and I didn't realize where he came.

And the next morning I rushed out because I had to go have brunch, and my next started itching and apparently came all my face in my neck and so there was dried nut all in the neck and it started flaking in my friend's card. And don't mind me, that just happened. And um, we're gonna go ahead and Walwheezy goes and blows her nose. Oh, I'm sorry. We're gonna go ahead and get into our horrible decision. Now Wheezy started this weapon. Now we're going ahead and getting

into our horrible decision. And I'm excited about this, um because again we haven't getting asked these questions a whole lot. What do you want to go through and say? What the horrible decision is you? Kind of? Yeah, So I wanted to make this about starting over and self love. You know, you shared that you've been married before, and you've you've have so many accomplishments in life, and I feel like sometimes men or women are bad relationships can really funk us up from our end goal and our

camp and our purpose. So I wanted to dive into what what your story is, you know, just briefly, but basically the healing process after you know, how how how would you can you walk us through yours? Yeah, you know one from it. I like to advise people too. I think that's helpful. Is like even you know, sometimes like yeah, our hearts are so fucking broken, right, and people are like, well, the best way to get over to someone is to get under someone. But sometimes actually

you need to reclaim your sexuality and yourself. Like so we're talking about energy, right, and like the energy that you take on. So if you're being penetrated, for example, like you're literally taking on someone else's energy and that takes a while to clear from your system. So I think like going through periods of self imposed celibacy can be really good. That can be a good thing. It's almost like a Howlett cleanser between courses of like a meal. Right.

It's like kind of reclaiming your space. That doesn't mean that you can't masturbate or look at whatever you want to do, just it doesn't even mean that you can't funk around with someone else. It's just maybe meaning like not being not being penetrated by them, you know, like keeping some space for yourself. I think for me, at least, I did go through reading about that. Yeah, I went

through a period of that, um you know. And I think we had Nina Hartley, who's a really famous adult star on our podcast and and she even talks about that like someone who's for a living is having sex and she's pant sexual. Yeah. I think that like that for me was a big thing kind of felt so. I mean I felt really heartbroken. It was not heartbroken. I've literally felt it in my chest like I've been fucking heartbroken. I can feel it. I'm walking around. It's heavy,

and I have wanted to make myself feel better. The first thing I do is texted X of course you do because you want that immediate gratification. You want us feel like you're still desired, right, But like what are you desiring yourself? And you're looking for someone else's validation, which is and I'm the first thing I do with a breakup when my heart is like broken or I'm

all right, I become really hurt by a guy. I hate all men, and so I find myself just over saturating my schedule between work, between finding something to do, hanging around friends, hitting people up, like let's too long close to dinner, let's scrab drinks and I'm just out with a lot of friends. But I actually feel like

I hate man. I don't want to be hit on, I don't want to talk to men, I don't respond to like, and I just kind of clock out from even And I don't want to sit in that, because I think most of us don't want to sit in the loneliness and the fear and the vulnerability and feeling abandoned, which is why we like turn to drugs, turn to food,

turned to alcohol, turned to sex. All those things are great, but like doing all those things with intention, right, not because we want to mask our loneliness, like it's okay to be lonely and feel shitty and feel fear and feel vulnerable and wake up in the middle of night and be like, am I going to die alone? Those are human questions that every single person on the planet has,

you know. I feel like we all think we're alone in that that, like we're the only one that has those fears, and we all have those fears, we just don't talk about it, and it's like it's going to pass, just like the clock turns around, you know, or a wave comes in and out. We're just like, culturally so uncomfortable with that that we want to cover it up immediately. Have you, um, I don't know if you guys have ever experienced this, but a few months back, I'd say,

in January, everything was just going fine. I've been making the most money I've ever made, Mandy and I are getting along, everything is fine, and I was like, I feel nothing, And it was almost worse than feeling sad, Like I had no emotion going on, because sometimes when you're in those feelings, I think it feels good to feel him. I don't know if you've felt that, like when you cried and it feels good to like let

yourself go through that. And I've tried to make that my process, like when I'm feeling a lot of emotions, to actually sit and under stand when I'm feeling instead of covering it up, because what I've done in the past is text exes, go out and get sucked up, just go to something really random, go on vacation randomly with a friend, and spend too much money, and it's like then I have to sit in those feelings when

I come home. So now I try to actually process them, write them down, talk about what I'm feeling, and it feels better to like go through that motion instead of covering it up. How long do you think for Let's say you were in a thirteen year relationship, but let's say someone who is going through a heartbreak of someone they just met, let's say six months or a year, They say, it takes half the time that you've been together.

I don't know. I my friend Didavante, speaking of Burlesque, she had gotten divorced like just eight months before me actually to Manson, Marilyn Manson, yeah, um, and she and I would like ask her all the time, like, okay, so what's what should what should be happening now because she was like had just was sort of at every phase of the healing, like just a little bit before me. I'm like, what is it to be over? And I kept on thinking like fuck if I could invent a

pill for heartbreak? Like yeah. But then the other thing is you would you think about all the great art right and music? Like thinking about all the music we listened to, Like so much of the best art and music is made from heartbreak, and it's not a lot of I mean, it's hard to make great art when you're super happy, right because you're just like living your life, like you know, everything is Love came out with you, Sat jay Z, but it wasn't lemonade, Yeah, exactly exactly.

Video Remember when she smashed it's like him, I swear to God. And when we all felt that, we all empathized that we all had been in that space, right and more than like sometimes I think when people are super happy, you're like, well, I'm not fucking happy. Why they love New York because nobody's happy, don't. I saw a couple making on the subway. This is a long

time ago, but I'll remember this moment. I was going to work and everybody's in a bad mood, and she's like Meani and me and the girl looked at each other like the fund is there problem? Like you're just trying to get to work and bitch, you're on this train with your fucking chip York. When I moved back to l A from New York, I remember like if someone would ask me a question, like a stranger, like where did you get your yogurt or something, I would

like roll up my car window. Why are they being nice? Why are they talking to me? And the weirds really weird? Okay, so we go through the healing process. Let's say that part is over, But what do you think is a good way to get back out there? That's the question that we've been getting at a lot of our know how to answer it anymore. Yeah, so they want to know, Hey, I'm done dating, but I want to now get out and date, but I'm not looking to jump into anything else.

What would be kind of your go to or any time, even if it's a process like things to start doing

and get yourself out there. But like, let's just imagine someone that's been in a relationship and pretty much quarantine themselves to their boyfriend I think it's a really good idea in general to like get outside of your comfort zone own with like your scene that you're in, right, Like, I think it's really good to like maybe go, I don't know, do something you would never go do before, like take a class or like go I don't know, Like there's a million different Like you live in a

city like New York, there's a million different scenes that you're not part of, and you kind of get stuck in your rold and you think, oh, I just meet the same people and everyone's the same as the same type of person. But like if you just force yourself to get outside of your comfort zone a little bit, Basically I should go to Brooklyn. I was able to say, Basically, I gotta go where white people go in the house

you think, yes, you'll see me there. Actually, to be frank with you, I when I first moved to New York, I was going on meat packing, right, and I just I felt like I was meeting too many of the same guys. I was like, you know what, the time of the black club, I'm done. And that was literally what I had to do. And it wasn't like I was not going to black clubs on purpose. I was just so into that meat packing like high life, like you know, your twenty dollar martinis. I love that ship.

It took me getting a little bit lower east Side, a mixed dive bar kind of vibe, heading out to Brooklyn doing different type of parties to be like, oh, like I'm fine now I'm making new friends and then I could go back and be okay. But I was seeing the same people. When you see those same people, even the same women, it really was reminders of the

person I was dating, and I hated that ship. Also think you should ask random people to set you up, like people who are not necessarily your immediate best friend, but like I don't know. It could be a coworker, like no, but you never you never know, and it might not be that person. It could be like a friend of that person, or like they could take you to a party, like one person's trash is another person's treasure, right.

I didn't even think about that. I mean, when we're so used to not being set up because this is not our I got so many niggers already, it's like more like I do I know, Like so that's another thing with me, Like I don't know if it's I don't call it fear, and a few people were in like that. They also revisit the past with people. But the time it takes to get to know someone and allowing new energy feels like more way, more work than me just going back to someone who I'm familiar with.

But you're talking about for sucks, right, No, both like relationships like niggas is free agents and retired now they're not playing and traveling the like athletes. The one I'm talking to was former football thank you, but um like, so they're also in a different space in their life. Also, back when I was dealing with these guys, I was either living in Atlanta or Miami. I was a bartender, I was in the fast life, so like I was

viewed differently to them than where I am now. Like I have my ship together, I still don't have kids. I'm like kids, so that's also out of space where I'm able to really I feel like you you said I never I've never said I. You've used the word family. You never use the word kids here, and I'm talking about a dog or a finger monkey, bitch. I've been looking up finger monkeys. Finger I want a little finger monkey like I follow these these finger monkeys on Instagram

called Diddy and Kong. They are so cute and finger monkey, I'm gonna show you they're real cute. So that's what you want, not like a dog, like a dog, I really do want. Like we're looking this up first, thank you, Here we go. We're good. Look up real Diddy call. Look they got a million followers. Pretty don't marry cute actually, so I want a finger monkey and these are like the little bigger monkey. Where do you keep these nails?

Look like they might scratch though, Man, I'm gonna get about a pedicure, but no, like in my mind, I'm not gonna lie. So with talking to a lot of these men, they do have children already, and a lot of them because they got multiple A lot of them doesn't cut their dicks now like they're snipped now you know what I mean, you know the word the sect

me there you go, come on, you know what. So like now they can't have like babies, and so now it is to where like I think even for a lot of them because of where they are with money wise, power wise, like it's it's a genuine thing, like I ain't trying to have no baby, like just to keep you like it's a genuine connection. They're in different spaces in their life. So I believe in timing, and I think, I don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing.

I guess while we're talking about time that it takes to heal, I believe in timing of meeting people. I believe in I believe in meeting people, and sometimes it's just the wrong time. It may work. Damn, I wish I met you at a later time in life or sooner in life before you know things happened. So to me and a space where I genuinely feel like I'm gonna do. I'm in a new bubble, I'm in a new career. I'm we have this podcast where it's taken off and I'm traveling and I'm in this creative space.

I genuinely feel like I'm in a new space that I can provide something different in a relationship that I could as you being in a new space and you doing what you want to do and investing your energy fully into it is what brings people into your orbit. I truly believe sometimes to look for it, it's not gonna come. But the second that you're like busy and focus on whatever it is that you're doing. All of a sudden, it's like the universe is just sending you

sell people. Right, It's funny you mentioned that, Like, so probably for the last four or five years, I've been talking about wanting to have a boyfriend and a girlfriend, or being a threatle or whatever. And I never thought that the two people I would sleep be sleeping with would be it. And like when I tell you, it was so intense at one point, like I almost woke up and started crying. Of course I'm emotional, but I was like, damn, I didn't think I would feel like this.

I thought we were just gonna have sex and eat Like I thought this is gonna be it. I didn't think we'd be holding hands and touching each other's faces and planning the next vacation while we're still sitting together, you know. And it was like really really intense. And my mom was like, you manifested this for so long, even looking at these two people, like maybe you and him weren't like that, maybe you and her weren't like that, but like together now you can become something because it's

just been waiting for you. There she was like, you probably weren't trying to have it like you were the last few years. Anytime I would a girl, I'd be like, you should meet this guy and we should be a thing. What happened like that? So that's interesting that you said you can really actually bring it into your orbit, because I kind of feel like I did. I really am like super nervous because it felt so great, and I'm just like ships will let down of two people, not

just one now if it doesn't work. Yeah, but don't future funk yourself. So like was like, okay, so we're talking about, like if we're talking about being in the moment and being present, most of us are constantly future fucking ourselves, Like we're going into like what could happen, what will happen, like what might happen? And we're like, you know, the more that you put your mindset there, you bring it in instead of being like right here,

right now, you're future fucking yourself. But it's so something to where And I think a lot of us do that with dating or meeting someone. We have this vision of what we want this person to do, how we want them to actually want them to answer our text messages, how we want to wake up in the morning to them what we hope our conversations to be to where we set ourselves up to these expectations, and as soon as that person doesn't live up to the expectations, now

we're disappointed. And once you're disappointed, then you're like, okay, well then he's not it. Let me move on to the next. But we are expecting someone else to give us every single thing. It's just not like, okay, we can We're never going to get every single thing from one person. That's just not possible. Do you think you can give that? You can't. You can't be someone's like love or partner, best friend. You've got to find those things in other in other people. You've got to find

it in yourself. So let really like the person that you're having that intimate romantic relationship with that's like you know, you accept them for what it is. Let me ask you, you said your monogamous damn use in my mind, because that was my next question. We always say we use that as a reason, but I I really appreciate monogamous right now. Yeah, Well that doesn't mean like maybe I

don't know the question. So we we use this as a like exactly what you say compartmentalizing relationships and people and friends. Right, I need a friend I want to go out with for this and that you're saying that and able to understand that concept. But you're still monogamous.

So how do you do it then? Because I don't necessarily expect my partner who I'm sleeping with to give me everything, right, Like, I still I'm a creative person, and I think you, like, if you're doing anything creative, there's gonna be some vibes or energy with people you're creating with. I flirt with everybody under the sun, and mean, like I have a company that's called The Sex Said, I'm talking about sex with other people all day long.

I can you know I'm flirting with you guys over here, Like I don't know, I get energy from a lot of people. So when I'm with him, like you know, also, it's constantly evolving. You know, it's not like perfect. We have our ship and we we talk about it and we're both trying to evolve into like what we want this relationship to be and the certain limited expectations that each of us have and can give. Like, I mean,

nobody's perfect. But you don't have to. You're saying you don't your your into creative ship, but you don't need that from him. I do. I mean I get a lot of stuff from him, but I also don't expect that, like he's going to give me satisfy every single one of my needs. I like that a lot because I think sometimes the pressure of making sure this perfect partner when really you don't have to do it all, Like just because you're sucking me doesn't mean you still can't

have someone else in your life. For or for example, like he's very he's like super alpha, and he's not like I've always dated artists before who were like I love, you know, really flowery with the words and stuff. And he's like he's really solid. He's really there. But he's not going to do that because that's just not who he is. And like I you know, it's like sometimes it drives me crazy, but then I'm like, all right,

I'm not going to get that from him. But I can count on him, you know, I can count on him where I've had like a million guys like right fucking love letters and like send flowers all the time and like, but they're not really necessarily like the solid guys, I like it a lot like that. Being there from

someone's a lot of fucking work. Yeah, you just have to realize where people are coming from, too, and how they were brought up in condition and what kind of loved relationship they've had, like with their parents for example.

Like has a lot to do with the way we relate to each other in relationships, because it's basically like we're constantly trying to recreate the relationship with the parent we had the most difficulty with as a child, like unconsciously, unconsciously, that's who we pick, really, yeah, in order to recreate and heal those relationships. Like that's why I like tall n like, I like tall lights, king guys, I like everything opposite from my dad. Is that who you had

like the most difficult relationship with? Actually it was both of them, as me and my mom are friends now, but growing up me and my mom, But it has a lot. But as I got an older, I see it's because we were a lot. There's something to be said what you look for in men and how she was saying, like you picked someone like them. Mandy is always saying she likes affluent men because her dad wasn't as helpful and when she was a kid. So that is kind of making sure that you're trying to fix

what was better. You're trying to fix your childhood basically. The um. But I guess that makes sense. I know, I hear it. I wait, well, I want to get into orgasm breathing before you want him to want them to a clip of us. Well, with the orgasm, you'll do it. Okay, So with the orgasm breathing, I want to do that, and then I do want to gauge some of your knowledge a little bit for our homemale section. Um, this is your home section. Do you want to do

orgasm breathing? First? Let's do orgasm breathing. You got to be in the shot. I'm like so fucked up from this cold right now, it's just all the traveling. I need to get myself together. Okay, what the fund is orgasm breathing. So, orgasm breathing is a technique where you can bring yourself to orgasm hands free, just with breathing and using your public floor muscles. Don't believe you, but I've heard it. Yeah, everyone can do it, no matter

what kind of genitals you have. Okay, do it, so like you know what your public floor muscles are, right, Yeah, I've done public floor therapy before. Okay, So like, well for listeners who aren't familiar with it, right, it's the muscles that you contract when you're trying to stop your flow of p. So if you've got a penis, contract that muscle. If you've got a vagina, if that contract that muscle. Yeah, it's it's just it's basically the same thing, right,

So they're your PC muscles. So you the breath is two parts, right, so we know what that squeezing that muscles like. Right, So, and then the breath is imagine you're sucking in through a straw, so your lips are like so at the bottom of that breath, imagine it traveling up from from the shorter generals. No, I'm just

gonna be long. So as soon as I start sucking the breath, I'm gonna squeeze, and I'm gonna stay squeeze, and I'm gonna go And I'm still squeezing this whole time, and I'm slowly ship too much out and you're vagina, I'm still squeezing. Your kegels are squeezed. Still squeezing this whole time, and then at the bottom of my breath I released, I released the kegle. So does that make sense?

Does that make sense? You're like, you're squeezing your muscles from the bottom of the breath up holding holding the squeeze and slowly so squeezing the muscle. By the way, for those listeners who have never really worked their kegle muscles before, I would saying keegle ship whatever, kegle keegele. So it feels like if you try to stop that pe like hold it, you can do it right now.

I'm doing mine right now, feeling like holding it like like if you're paid, if you're like But by the way, it's really are you squeezing if you don't want to have a loose bladder when you're older, By the way, it's very important if you're talking about a tight vagina, which is a myth, by the way, I don't want to perpetuate. But if you do want to have control over your bladder when you're older, it's super important to practice your kegles. And it's also really helpful for multiple orgasms.

What about the balls like that you can put in your vagina like the I didn't know what you're asking. I was like, please, God, don't let her think you have a fucking your ether in your ball. Yeah, people like men. While the woman who bettany Vernon is her name, who had bondage with she does beautiful ben Wall balls. Also some people like you know, I mean, I think, like the whole Yoni egg thing, how do they help your pussy? Then, well, it gives you. It's also like

it's the same thing. It's muscle control, which you can do like you know, like I'm doing right now. So just having awareness of you. I've never been the Pussy Show, and I went in there before and the very first trick that was going on was this girl asked the guy at the bar what his name was, and she took a marker, put it in her pussy and literally wrote his name on a sheet of paper with the

marker in her pussy. I've had muscle control. You haven't seen like mommy who can lift weights with her she can like lift word with her vaginas. That's crazy. But then why are they older? You think? Why are they older? Girl? The same way why sex gets better when you get older because your body your body. If you know your body and you don't feel like you give yourself permission. I will say when I worked in Miami, Uncle Luke would have holes up there playing Corona bottles in the

Pussy Girl. I remember those videos. It was so lit Uncle Lucas like from two Life prop like every single word, every song. My mother threw the cassette tape out of the window of the cart. There's only one place where you were. So because you are, I would like to say, a sexpert, and you have the sex ed show and the sex ed domain because you was on it. Um. I want to get into our home mail session before we get out of here, and the question from this

is am I still a virgin? Hi? Ladies. First of all, I'm a big fan and love listening to your podcast. So I am or was a twenty nine year old virgin until recently. I got into a relationship and things just kind of happened and next thing you know, we are having sex, or so I thought. I have never had sex, so I am not sure. However, it felt painful when he first went inside, but after I did not feel much pain and honestly was expecting to fill my hymen break and was next expecting to see blood.

None of that happened. To make things worse, he asked me if I was really a virgin, which hurt my feelings. Now I am not variance, but it's not rocket science to know if a dude has a big or small dick, which he is on the smaller side, is it possible that he is too short to reach my hyman? Since then, we have tried five more times. The same thing happened her upon entering and felt nothing after that. I don't even feel like I have had sex. How do I

bring this up? Is this normal? Please? Help? First of all, it's totally normal. It's totally normal. And like, this whole idea of virginity really bothers me too, because what is virginity? And like, does virginity mean you have to have sex between a penis and a vagina to totally not be a virgin? Myman can break while riding a bike, they say a lot of people over twenty. I think I was reading this somewhere. I don't know if it's twenty years old or a different age, but I have already

lost it somewhere another around the way. So like, even if they haven't had sex, yet you may not have that big old break, right, and also like did you have that idea, just the idea that like, well what about if you have anal sex or if oral sex or fingering like all of those things, like the idea in middle school, Like the hose of middle school will go around and say they still haven't had sex, but they had an on and they just blew everyone off

like they just sucked their dick, and so they you've broken. But a lot of like a lot of people who are like fourteen year olds now are like having anal sex instead of any that's because they feel like it's preserving their virginity. That's so crazy, feeling like I started to say that as I got over, like I'm gonna say, I asked for my husband is really just my excuse

to not sucking the ass. But well, I don't think I have anything left to save for my husband, So I hope my husband isn't worried about say I haven't been fucked. Oh I haven't gagged anyone with my foot, but I do have a proposition for that. So unless he comes from the brain, my husband may not be able to do that either. What it's left like an

ear fun like he got knees or something behind the knees. Yeah, pet oh my god, okay like that interviewed, he was like, yeah, And every time I posted a picture like this in my bed, he always he's like, yo, they look a good Well okay, so I like, I like that. Do you have any advice for she's still a version? I mean, listen, I don't know what happened to your hyman or where it is, but like, you definitely had sex if it went in there. Sure he might not be big enough

for you, but absolutely not. You're not still a virgin. Just just listen, did it go in if it did? Know, I think the whole blood seeing thing is kind of stupid, and I'm sorry that you know. This is how unsure I was about that you were waiting for this big reveal. Dick just pushed my period on because I definitely led like right after I did too. Yeah. So but I thought I had sex with Yeah I was and it went right. Yeah, So it's very possible that girl. Maybe you did a split, you know, to get but you

know what that's like. When I do talks um and people ask questions and audience, the number one thing that people approach me privately about our virgins in their twenties, because I think also culturally we shame people for not having sex, which is crazy. It's like, where where does this come from? Where is this law that you and great for you? Like, whatever you want, however you want to consider your sexuality or yourself is all okay. As

long as you're not hurting yourself or someone else. It's all okay. Animals or animals or dead people or kid. Yeah, I do want to like, let's do two more minutes, but I just really want to know. We have this question. A lot girl came out to us at Houston show and asked me about her virginity and how do I get out there? I want to lose my virginia over

What kind of advice would you have for them? Well, first of all, I'll be like, why do you do you want to lose it because you want to lose it or because you think you should lose it because everyone says you're supposed to lose it, And like, really think about that, because it's such a personal choice. You want to make sure you're doing things because you want to do That is what we preach on this show.

So like, I feel like as kind of sex liberators and how we talk about women really even having sex because you want to have an orgasm or you want to enjoy it, and not to have sex because a man just wants to have sex with you. I feel like the virgins that listen to this show should definitely take that bit of advice and really hone in on why do you want to lose your virginity and don't just go out there looking for anna lose your virginity

for it. When yeah, when I had like celibate periods, I had so many friends just be like you should just be having sex and you're going to get cobwebs down there, and like no, people really didn't understand, you know. And I'm like, I'm fucking liberated, you know, Like I've got my little my, you know, sex toy. I've got done it in different times of different breakups, for different different periods, and I've known other people have done it. I'm like, why are you trying to shame me? Why

are you trying to shame me? Like just the same problem as slush shaming and its virgin shaming, So you should just like stop with this. People And they want to do with their bodies. I like that. I like that. So before we get out of here, let our listeners know what you have coming up where they can find you and all your social media handles and all that cool stuff. All right, Well, we have a new season of The Sex Said podcast which I host, coming out next week I guess like the day day or two

after this. Wherever you stream podcasts where the sex Said? On Instagram where the Sex Said. Our website is the sex Said dot com and my personal instagram is Goldilocks. G yeah, look for the Blue what's that episode that? I love that? I think that's such a good place to start. What was that Loue Paget episode? Blue Paget does really has really good tips for con Lingus and Flacio, and I think so that will work for literally all of our listeners. So yeah, it was very listeners for

the women listen no matter what. How okay, good, no, thank you so much coming out. I hope you guys all enjoyed this episode. As you guys know, because of you guys, we are able to go on tour. We have l a we get and I can go laughing to get hot school. God, I'm a light enough to dig and ship, but I'm not getting I'm scared. Oh I'm gonna get high, but I'm probably gonna only get high like once day night and then I'm gonna stop by Friday because i can't be high on the weekend.

But staying in the Beverly and let me just tell you the first time I'm saying now, I'm not I'm sorry. She wants the fans. I'm not just putting what hotel I'm staying. It's super bouge. Nobody could get in, right,

they block it out of it. So wait, because I'm staying there last time, like, oh, this is really nice and it was Grammy weekend so they did that biggest party there and Ship fucking Oprah everybody, right, So I'm like wanting to smoke weed, but I don't want to be like tacky and all of these times and like suits are fucking smoking weed and Ship and I'm like, here, I am. I was being ghetto with Ship and I'm like, OK, so just say we got like less than ten tickets

left for our second show. I do want to shout out to everyone coming on May twelve on Mother's Day, but we we got you know, star set a event motherfucker planned out f y'all and motherfucking l a. So see you guys at the Hollywood Improv and then sorry for you guys, UM in Toronto. Toronto is sold the funk out bitch, so that'll be will be there May eighteenth, and that will wrap up our tour. Also, once again, we want to shout out all of our patrons. Because

of you guys, this tour is possible. So if you guys have not yet become a patron, for five dollars a month, you get three bonus episodes and at the top tier of fifteen dollars a month, you guys will get merch after four months. UM, we've been sending those out and I think we're actually gonna start on working on what socks and mugs and a whole bunch of little extra other other things for so UM. If you guys haven't yet UM checked that out. Because we are a teen plus on Patreon, you can find us at

www dot patreon dot com. Backslash Horrible Decisions, You guys know how to spell. Again, we want to shout out to Adam and Eve, who is our sponsored for this week's episode, and as always We're gonna leave you with a five minute clip of one of our bonus episodes. If you like it, check it out, become a patron support the show. And once again this has been he had another episode of Horrible Decisions by so y'all all like, Elder, So when you when you pop your when'd you pop

your cherry? Wow? Because you know from the South, I'm like, I may, I may or may not have been like nineteen wow. You know I want you held out longer than it really. Yeah, yeah, I can tell you I don't love. I don't love. I don't love that. I can tell y'all fast. Let me because at one point in high school, me and my two female best friends, Selma and Janet, we had a like a celebratory pact, so we were like, we're not going to have sex to eighteen, and that's so we're gonna, like, you know,

stick to it. And I had a very close sexual account or the female kind ones. And that's my questions for you. Well, I'm about to answer it. And I got there, it looked down at it. It was like there's a pack that I made. I can't believe I'm seeing this. I was like, there's a pack that I made. Um, So I can't do this, but I would love to be your friend call me. Didn't she know you were gay? No, of course not. I was real like hetero in high school. So what she looked like she was? Actually? No, why

she gotta be white? I don't know. Do I look like a white girl type of guy? Oh? My god? You know that's why other that's why you got that look. No, she was a complete ebony goddess princess. She was a little bit darker than you, Like I was about to say, like she had to be a lot of that because wheezy white. First of all, Mandy, I'm just saying you talked about the ebony goddess present did say a little bit lot of You just want to say at black

and Middle Eastern may that's fine. That ain't white. You sound sound good, bit sound good just because you said your god damn DNA and you probably got somebody else. You want to believe that I do that. I can't do this one. You want to mean, I don't believe it. Like the government has already followed me, and they just tell you flies, bro, They just tell you what they want. People lie everything. People, Yes, They imagine if you thought

your daddy was something. You're like, I don't see any bit of well you don't I'm part Chinese, so that you couldn't wait to say that I am. People say that, No, I mean my eyes are a little, a little, However, I really am my great grandfa No, my grandfather actually was from Canton, China,